I saw a dead guy the other day. Was driving home after dropping Betty off at work during morning rush hour, and while passing through the intersection I say every day is a death trap for scooters, there one was. Face down, blood everywhere and the medical crew taking their time to remove the body. This intersection is one where there is a lot of cars merging left to make a soft right onto a major road, while buses are merging left coming out off a depot and trying to go straight. Caution on every ones part here is paramount, but in typical TW dipshit drivers haste, as detailed in the 'driving' post two weeks ago, there are many impatient cars that will make the illegal right from the middle lane while speeding, or go straight from the right turn lane, all the while the scooters will be dicing in between them to get no where fast. Every morning I see bad behavior and say that someone is gonna get killed here. It sucks being right all the time.
Another topic that has confounded me recently concerns warts. First, 'wart' is such an ugly word. Other than a profanity, it is hard to come up with a word that is as revolting. The scientific latin name for the common wart may be even worse...verruca vulgaris. Sounds like a name for an actress from some BDSM niche porn. The reason that this is in mind these days is that we have had a bit of an outbreak in the family. Last year, both kids had them grow on the bottom of their feet in between their toes. We had them dealt with over the summer and they seem to be gone now. Also last year, I had this thing start to grow on my nose. Wasn't big and my US doctor said it wasn't skin cancer and to leave it alone, but it started to grow when we got back to town and was looking like something that you'd see on Scrooge or the Grinch during the X-mas special season. Descended into the TW universal health care system to learn that it was said verruca vulgaris. They carved it out and have a swell scar on the end of my schnozzola.
Researching the internet as to why warts form and how we seemed to have this family outbreak has not provided a satisfactory answer. I want to blame the environment, but all I can find is something about viruses. Whatever it is, a truly disgusting development. The side affect of having one was that I got to delve into the universal health care system here. With it being such a hot button in the States, getting an opportunity to experience one first hand has helped better understand that dialogue.
From my experience, not only this time, but also with Carolyn's bone bruise last Spring and a subsequent visit to the dermatologist for Betty and I, have found it to work really well. Most of what you would normally see your family doctor for is done here at the hospitals. Cannot overstate how chaotic these places seem. People everywhere...waiting for their number to be called, patients on gurneys, looking like they just got out of surgery, the best analogy I could give is that it looks like a subway station at rush hour. But it works. To get this thing removed, I had to navigate the giant Veteran's Hospital three different times/places...on my own. Not an easy feat for a local, but that I was able to do it with my limited knowledge of Mandarin was an impressive feat if I do say so. First was the diagnosis, then the removal, and finally to have stitches removed. Each visit cost about US$12 and took no more than an hour. After the wart removal on the 16th floor, was instructed to go to the pharmacy on the 3rd floor for some meds. There was about a 12 person line at that window and thought I'd be there all day, but it moved fast and when I got to the front, understood why. My prescription had a bar code and when they scanned it, the meds were already pulled and prepared at the counter and was issued them almost immediately.
This system works and when I read all the "horror" stories about ACA/Obamacare, it seems that it is fear mongering from the section of the population that has the most to lose financially, and do not see enough about what it can do for the majority of Americans. It is not a secret that the biggest impediment to US implementation is the insurance needed from all of law suits and the only solution is tort reform. Truly, the fact that this reform is not the top issue being discussed on both sides of the aisle amazes me to no end, but I guess that is just a result of naivete and the pessimist in me realizes that our politicians are all controlled by the money that runs that show. Sad. Wake up America.
Going to take a few weeks off from posting and don' forget to check back in early January. We leave Thursday evening on a winter break vacation for a week each in Israel and Istanbul. Going to be amazing and can't wait to tell you about it.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Week of December 6th, 2013
Have to say that I'm a little ticked off at Taiwan this week. For Thanksgiving, took a long weekend family trip to Singapore, and while it is an international city, over 70% of the population is Chinese, so falls solidly in the Asian bucket. They totally put to shame Taiwan in two critical areas...chicks and food.
At one point a couple of days in, I turn to Paul and comment "is it just me, or are the Chinese women here way more attractive than in Taiwan?". Being 14 and talking to his parents, all I get from him is a knowing eyebrow raise. What I wasn't expecting was Betty chiming in with total agreement. It's not like there is a noticeable difference in body shape, it is what they do with them that makes the difference. Think it is due to a mix of not being totally afraid of the sun, knowing how to use make-up more strategically, and a better (Western?) sense of fashion. Was reflecting about this observation with the fellas as we watched the Seahawk/Saint beat down the other day, and one of the guys said that the Taiwanese girls lean more towards Japanese style.
Have since determined that there are a total of three stores for women's clothes in Taiwan. For the working girl, the polyester uniform shop. There, you can buy uniforms for specific businesses (think 7-11) And for the office, the black polyester pant suit...one style only. The second store is for the younger woman. Their entire inventory consists of two items...short shorts and black leggings. Finally, there is a loosely affiliated chain of stores for all the other ladies. Not sure if there is a literal translation, but I think the closest approximation is My Thrifty Grandma. Leading up to the Super Bowl or other major sporting finales, they print victorious t-shirts for both teams, and after the games, they will donate to charity the shirts printed with the losing teams name to charity and ship them off to Africa. My Thrifty Grandma (MTG) works similarly...whenever an old lady in the States passes away, and after her loved ones have scavenged her closet for anything decent, her clothes are taken to the Goodwill. For those items that even Goodwill cannot sell, the savvy buyers from MTG will buy in bulk all the gently used frumpy sweaters, stretch pants and floral printed blouses and sell them here for a tidy profit. Such a brilliant business model. Quick aside on the stretch pants...due to the disproportionate size of the derrieres in Taiwan with their American counterparts, the US stretch pants become baggy ala MC Hammer.
Side note on the Asian dudes...there is simply no hope for them. They all look like they just emerged from the Commerce Casino after a marathon session of chain smoking and playing pai gow.
As for the food, Singapore totally kicks ass. I didn't have a single meal that wasn't excellent. There are plenty of Chinese options, but they have taken cuisine from all over Asia and ran with it. We only sat in a restaurant once, and would consider everything else we ate as "street food". We got in on Thursday (Thanksgiving) evening and had squid pad Thai for Thanksgiving dinner. On Friday for lunch, we first walked around Little India where we had a curry puff to stave off our hunger, and then walked over to Arab St. where we had a yummy meal at a Turkish joint. Felafel's, hummus and lamb/eggplant kebabs. While we we're sitting there, the daily afternoon thunderstorm came barreling through, so we ordered a dessert called kanafeh to wait it out. Never had tasted it before, but whatever you do, find a place near you and go get some.
Another time, had kway teow, which is a fried rice noodle dish that I later read is popular in Indonesia and Malaysia. It is also really unhealthy, but so damn good. Kinda like pad Thai on PED's.
We enjoyed some fish and chips at the Long Bar in the Raffles Hotel. Before we went, asked anyone I knew who had been to SG what to do, and they all said to hit this place. Was the hive of British colonialism opulence and still has that vibe...and is also home of the Singapore sling, which we all enjoyed.
They even did a spot on take of our favorite from last summer...Seoul crispy chicken. This time on skewers in a bag...the lady asked if I wanted chili sauce and mayonnaise squirted inside. Ch-duh?
Our last night, we were going to hit this outdoor food gallery and go to the night zoo, but the afternoon thunderstorm didn't let up, so we had the concierge recommend a food place that was covered and frequented by locals. We took a cab to the Newton Hawker Center. I counted over a hundred stalls, mostly geared to local takes on Malaysian and Chinese seafood. They mostly served the same stuff, and the owners were soliciting our business rather aggressively, so we settled on Ms. Tan's place as she advertised her stall as "Service With a Smile". We had some very fine veggies and black pepper prawns. Paul has become a stunt-eater and insisted that we try the stingray.
None of us had ever seen it offered before, so we dug in. Good, tasted like regular fish, but not sure I'd go out of my way to search it out again. What I would push my mother into the street to have again was the chili crab.
I know you don't need to do anything more than steam it to enjoy, but this thing was so different and delicious. Every bite was a soaked in this chili goo....aaaarrrrghhhh. After dinner, Ms Tan made us look through her many books of business cards. She was so proud to show us all the influential business men and government officials that had been there and were her friends. Pretty adorable.
So the point is, what's the matter with the Chinese here. Sure, you can get some decent non-Chinese food here and there, but you have to search it out and the vast majority of it is total crap. A few posts ago, I mentioned a fabulous chorizo burrito hole in the wall joint that opened up in March, and have just learned that they went out of business. No one can recommend a decent Italian joint on the entire island...how is that possible? Had a couple conversations about it with Westerners that have been here a while, and they like the local cuisine, but feel as if they are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Until TW steps up their game in creativity and diversity in both of the above areas, they are destined to remain a provincial backwater.
Some other observations of Singapore.
The preconception of Singapore is that it is so anal about cleanliness that you will get arrested for chewing gum, and while it is one of the cleanest cities I've ever seen, think that stereotype is a bit overblown. People still smoke everywhere, they just do it in designated spots and throw their butts away accordingly. I didn't notice any gum, but wasn't really looking for it. It was a well ordered and polite place, well behaved drivers and said several times how civilized it felt. A terrific subway system that was super efficient and clean. Something we noticed in Korea and now in Singapore are these raised metal bumps throughout the subway system.
We have debated what these are used for and could not land on a reason we all could agree to. I did a brief Google search about "bumps on subway" and found this unrelated, but hilarious article about how the Chinese sell fake baby bumps to women so they can get seats on the crowded Beijing subways. Our best theory is that they are there for blind people to help them navigate the system. I was on board with this theory, but then saw this.
That post is at groin height, so if these are for the blind, that's just cruel.
One morning, we took a duck boat tour. Was a nice way to see the marina and historic British downtown area. The guides are always full of facts...a couple of my favorites:
-Population of Singapore is 5.5 million with an ethnic mix of 70% Chinese/14% Malay/7% Indian/9% other.
- Total size is 710 square miles with 30% of the current land being "reclaimed from the sea".
Our guide said that phrase so often, that we started completing her thought whenever she started a sentence that such and such is on land...
We stayed in the marina area at the Marina Bay Sands hotel.
Opened a couple years ago, was built by the Sands Corp for 8 billion dollars. Swanky mall attached along with a casino that we were told has the largest gaming floor in the world. We went and it was quite nice, but since I lose every bet I make, I agreed to not play and just went to enjoy the mix of cigarette smoke and the nitrogen they pump in to give the players a high. Entrance to the casino is free to foreigners, but in an effort to keep the locals from becoming gambling addicts, they charge Singaporeans SG$100 (US$80) just to go inside. Regardless, on this Saturday night, the place was jammed and could see few sparsley populated tables or empty machines. The most popular game was one I had never seen before. It is a 3 dice game called Sic bo. Won't bore you with the details, but if my gambling karma ever changes, I will be searching it out and winning big.
The draw for the Marina Bay Sands for us was the Infinity Pool located on the 57th floor. It spans the length of the three towers and the roof deck provides an unobstructed 360 degree view of the city all from the luxury of the pool or hot tub.
Killer. The last snap is of the marina and the British historical area is on the far shore. Reason this one is included was to show the white pontoon things in the water. Those are actually white beach balls that they allow people to write wishes or resolutions on them for the coming New Year celebration (huge fireworks display in the marina). Afterwards, they take all the balls and recycle them for next year.
Unexpectedly, Singapore is really into the Christmas holiday and they deck the halls of the city with decorations. Later read it is a top 10 X-mas destination city. One evening, we took a stroll along swanky Orchard Rd. Every high-end store in the world is represented along Orchard Rd and is one of the most expensive areas to live in the world. Huge xmas trees, streets lined with lights, very festive. This is inside a giant walk in Christmas tree.
While I have enjoyed being away from the crush of X-mas mania in the States, it was pleasant to get a small classy dose of it. In addition to the X-mas stuff, there was cool public art scattered throughout the town. This is my new favorite family snap.
The only two drawbacks I could think of were the weather and cost. Due to it's location 150km from the equator, Singapore is hot year round. 90 degrees and humid every day. Also, Singapore is a very wealthy city, and while that provides for a healthy infrastructure, can imagine it being a very expensive city to live. Other than that, a fantastic place to visit and a huge thumbs up.
At one point a couple of days in, I turn to Paul and comment "is it just me, or are the Chinese women here way more attractive than in Taiwan?". Being 14 and talking to his parents, all I get from him is a knowing eyebrow raise. What I wasn't expecting was Betty chiming in with total agreement. It's not like there is a noticeable difference in body shape, it is what they do with them that makes the difference. Think it is due to a mix of not being totally afraid of the sun, knowing how to use make-up more strategically, and a better (Western?) sense of fashion. Was reflecting about this observation with the fellas as we watched the Seahawk/Saint beat down the other day, and one of the guys said that the Taiwanese girls lean more towards Japanese style.
Have since determined that there are a total of three stores for women's clothes in Taiwan. For the working girl, the polyester uniform shop. There, you can buy uniforms for specific businesses (think 7-11) And for the office, the black polyester pant suit...one style only. The second store is for the younger woman. Their entire inventory consists of two items...short shorts and black leggings. Finally, there is a loosely affiliated chain of stores for all the other ladies. Not sure if there is a literal translation, but I think the closest approximation is My Thrifty Grandma. Leading up to the Super Bowl or other major sporting finales, they print victorious t-shirts for both teams, and after the games, they will donate to charity the shirts printed with the losing teams name to charity and ship them off to Africa. My Thrifty Grandma (MTG) works similarly...whenever an old lady in the States passes away, and after her loved ones have scavenged her closet for anything decent, her clothes are taken to the Goodwill. For those items that even Goodwill cannot sell, the savvy buyers from MTG will buy in bulk all the gently used frumpy sweaters, stretch pants and floral printed blouses and sell them here for a tidy profit. Such a brilliant business model. Quick aside on the stretch pants...due to the disproportionate size of the derrieres in Taiwan with their American counterparts, the US stretch pants become baggy ala MC Hammer.
Side note on the Asian dudes...there is simply no hope for them. They all look like they just emerged from the Commerce Casino after a marathon session of chain smoking and playing pai gow.
As for the food, Singapore totally kicks ass. I didn't have a single meal that wasn't excellent. There are plenty of Chinese options, but they have taken cuisine from all over Asia and ran with it. We only sat in a restaurant once, and would consider everything else we ate as "street food". We got in on Thursday (Thanksgiving) evening and had squid pad Thai for Thanksgiving dinner. On Friday for lunch, we first walked around Little India where we had a curry puff to stave off our hunger, and then walked over to Arab St. where we had a yummy meal at a Turkish joint. Felafel's, hummus and lamb/eggplant kebabs. While we we're sitting there, the daily afternoon thunderstorm came barreling through, so we ordered a dessert called kanafeh to wait it out. Never had tasted it before, but whatever you do, find a place near you and go get some.
So the point is, what's the matter with the Chinese here. Sure, you can get some decent non-Chinese food here and there, but you have to search it out and the vast majority of it is total crap. A few posts ago, I mentioned a fabulous chorizo burrito hole in the wall joint that opened up in March, and have just learned that they went out of business. No one can recommend a decent Italian joint on the entire island...how is that possible? Had a couple conversations about it with Westerners that have been here a while, and they like the local cuisine, but feel as if they are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Until TW steps up their game in creativity and diversity in both of the above areas, they are destined to remain a provincial backwater.
Some other observations of Singapore.
The preconception of Singapore is that it is so anal about cleanliness that you will get arrested for chewing gum, and while it is one of the cleanest cities I've ever seen, think that stereotype is a bit overblown. People still smoke everywhere, they just do it in designated spots and throw their butts away accordingly. I didn't notice any gum, but wasn't really looking for it. It was a well ordered and polite place, well behaved drivers and said several times how civilized it felt. A terrific subway system that was super efficient and clean. Something we noticed in Korea and now in Singapore are these raised metal bumps throughout the subway system.
One morning, we took a duck boat tour. Was a nice way to see the marina and historic British downtown area. The guides are always full of facts...a couple of my favorites:
-Population of Singapore is 5.5 million with an ethnic mix of 70% Chinese/14% Malay/7% Indian/9% other.
- Total size is 710 square miles with 30% of the current land being "reclaimed from the sea".
Our guide said that phrase so often, that we started completing her thought whenever she started a sentence that such and such is on land...
We stayed in the marina area at the Marina Bay Sands hotel.
The draw for the Marina Bay Sands for us was the Infinity Pool located on the 57th floor. It spans the length of the three towers and the roof deck provides an unobstructed 360 degree view of the city all from the luxury of the pool or hot tub.
Unexpectedly, Singapore is really into the Christmas holiday and they deck the halls of the city with decorations. Later read it is a top 10 X-mas destination city. One evening, we took a stroll along swanky Orchard Rd. Every high-end store in the world is represented along Orchard Rd and is one of the most expensive areas to live in the world. Huge xmas trees, streets lined with lights, very festive. This is inside a giant walk in Christmas tree.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Week of November 29th, 2013
Hiya...posting earlier this week as we are off to Singapore for the long Thanksgiving weekend. We are staying at the Marina Bay Sands. Check out that killer pool.
This weeks installment of "Chinese will sleep anywhere" features our own Betty. On her latest trip, her co workers found it hilarious to take a photo of her snoozing whenever they were driving. This is but one offering from a montage of 10 pictures they sent of her out cold. Each photo has her napping in a different location and outfit. Fortunately, none of them show her drooling.
And this week's installment of unintentionally racist media comes from International SOS Security Advisories. Not sure how I got on their email list, but get regular updates from them about places to avoid, usually due to weather or political flare-up. This one refers to a province in Northeastern China. Dying to know what color the two higher alerts are.
"At least seven highways in Liaoning province were fully or partially closed on 24 November due to smog. The Chinese Meteorological Administration (CMA) has issued a yellow snowstorm alert (the lowest in a three-tier colour-coded warning system) for central-eastern Heilongjiang, Central-eastern Jilin and northern Liaoning provinces. On the previous day, several roads were closed in Heilongjiang province, while all flights at Harbin Taiping International Airport (HRB, Heilongjiang) were cancelled due to poor visibility." Delightful
Since this is a short week and don't have a ton of time, thought I would share the first draft of the article I wrote about driving in Taiwan. The intent was to submit to the local English paper or Community Center magazine. Have since edited it down, cleaned up the language, added pictures, etc., and am waiting to hear back if they will publish, but since I had this (very) raw version, didn't want to waste it. Enjoy and have a great Thanksgiving...
I have lived in Taipei just over a year, and from day one, have been delighted with the city. Stuff works...the water is clean, public transportation is cost efficient, quick and reliable, and there are many interesting things to do and places to eat. And the people are amazing. The country produces many high end products (a testament to hard work and ingenuity), I feel safer here walking around in the wee hours of the morning than I do in the middle of the day almost anywhere else, and just about everyone we meet has been kind and helpful to us, which is especially wonderful for someone challenged by not knowing the language.
So what is up with their style of driving? How can this society of cordial and hard working people turn into such total @$$#*({$ when they get behind the wheel?
Before I dig in, I should tell you why I think I am qualified to judge. I grew up in Southern California where the car is king. Started riding a moped at 13 and got my license on my 16th birthday. My commutes to work have been 1-2 hours in peak rush hour traffic at times. I have driven across country more than once, and have lived or driven all over the world (including the UK and Australia where they drive on the right (wrong) side of the road. And my mother, who was seventy-five at the time, even told me over a couple glasses of wine that I was conceived in a car, so consider driving as being an integral part of my DNA.
Are the Taiwanese "bad" drivers? I am not going to claim that the United States, or any country for that matter, has cornered the market on superior drivers. There is a percentage of every population with people that are spatially challenged, or have hit that point in life where reaction time has slowed and vision impaired. The fact that the locals are able to maneuver in the narrowest of lanes and alleys would indicate that they are competent, but it is the volume and nature of the aggressive drivers here that is astounding.
I am not going to go into the fact that a red light means that you have 4 more seconds to enter the intersection, or that the majority of people parking at the Costco insist on backing into the spot (shake my head as I watch them load a cubic meter of toilet paper and 20 kilos of rice into their trunks which are up against a wall). And will not tackle today the fact that pedestrians need to fear for their lives anytime they have to cross a street (in my opinion, they are considered more precious than an orange traffic cone, but less valuable than the automated traffic control scarecrows). Nor will I detail that the use of turn signals is an invitation for another driver to block your move. If I were to change the driving culture, the place I would start is the aggressive turning from the wrong lane.
There are two scenarios that I see repeated on an endless loop when on the road. The first example...you have three lanes where two are clearly marked with arrows going straight while the left lane is a left turn only lane. The light is red and there are cars piled up in the two straight lanes while there are only a couple in the left turn lane. The bad guy will zip up the left turn lane to the front of the line and probe with his front bumper into the straight lane in a game of chicken until someone allows him in. Not only does the process basically stop progress in that straight lane, but now everyone that has waited their turn is delayed because the cutter has decided that his time if far more important that everyone else.
The second scenario is the reverse. Same three lanes, one going left, only this time the traffic is piled up in the left turn lane. Our narcissistic driver will then travel in the open straight lane then dive into the intersection to make the left. As the quantity of drivers that think this is OK is high, we now have multiples behind him, which now blocks the straight lane that they are making the illegal turn from. In a lot of these cases, the illegal left turner edges so far out into the oncoming traffic lane that people have to swerve so as not to crash head-on into him.
These take on many forms. I drive by the Taipei City Hospital twice a day, and there is a street that is two lanes, one clearly marked with straight lane, and one marked to turn right in front of the hospital. At least once a week, I will see a car waiting to make that right, but there is a pedestrian, often times someone who is disabled and going to the doctor, crossing the street. Our impatient driver above cannot see what is going on in front of him, so he decides that the car in front of him is sleeping and he is going to veer into the straight lane to go around the waiting car to make the right turn, and almost hits the poor old guy with the oxygen tank.
So how did we get here? My theory is that many of the people driving cars now got their first experience on the roads driving a scooter. A lot of people are afraid of the scooter riders, but I find them to be quite good for the most part. There are plenty that take unnecessary risks like driving in blind spots and speed veering through traffic, but they are usually endangering their own lives. While it would be just a scratch on the automobile, I wish they would mellow out because the poor driver that ends of hitting the scooter rider through no fault of his own will have to live with the sight of someone getting hurt by his own vehicle. As the majority of people learned the roads on a scooter, and there is a tacit agreement with the 4-wheeled drivers that it is OK to slip through cars to get to the front of an intersection, when they later get their cars, they then believe that getting to the front of the line by any means possible is the correct way to drive.
Another part of all this cutting people off that amazes me is that no one gets mad. You rarely hear a horn honked or see a finger raised. Coming from the land of road rage, I fully expect to see fist fights breaking out at every intersection, but it feels that all the divers on the road think this behavior is OK. I believe this is partially due to anonymity of the driver with the heavy tinting of windows that appears legal. Most car windows are so blackened out that you barely see a silhouette of the driver, many times picking his/her nose. Side note...the car is an acceptable place to pick ones nose, but it seems like it is the national pastime around here.
And where does all the cutting get you but to the next red light. Honestly, have you ever driven through more than two green lights at a time here? I understand the methodology to the city planners syncing of traffic lights in this way, and it works quite well in keeping congestion low for the most part, so should encourage people to mellow out and slow down, because the risk they take to not only their own, but others lives has little reward.
This is my open and honest statement to the people of Taiwan. You have an amazing country and are a fantastic people, but until the time comes when the show of respect to strangers in public situations is same that you would afford your own mother, you will never gain the respect you deserve from the world.
And I know you can do it. When we were researching moving here, I pulled out an old National Geographic from 1993 with an article on Taiwan. There is this picture of a street clogged with scooters, and only about 25% of the riders were wearing helmets. Today, you cannot find a single rider (save for the more than occasional toddler sandwiched between mom and dad...those people should be arrested on the spot) without proper head gear. Have been told that the government made wearing helmets the law many years ago, and that they put teeth behind it with severe fines for those riders caught without one. Magically and overnight, all riders were wearing helmets.
The laws governing turns are on the books, and the challenge is to the government to enforce them. They love their cameras around here so why not install the enforcement type at the intersections. The speed cams are quite effective (full disclosure, I received seven speeding tickets in the first two months after arriving here. Speaking of those, while I am sure they generate some decent revenue, once you know where they are, they are pretty easy to defeat. In fact, I would argue they are ultimately more dangerous than helpful as people will speed and then slam on the brakes knowing one is coming up, thereby causing more rear end collisions.
You also see tons of orange cone and whistle traffic wielding officers all over, and people will do illegal maneuvers right in front of them. Give them the power to write down a license and send the ticket through the mail (as they do with the traffic cams). People will obviously deny their infraction without proof, so you make the first infraction a warning, and then hit them hard on the second. How about NT$5000 for the second and then NT$10,000 for the third? I think the government would love a new way to generate some revenue while making the roads a safer place to be. A classic win-win scenarios.
There should also be special rules and punishment for taxi drivers, who are uniformly the biggest scofflaws of all. We all know they have two modes; First, looking for a fare. Driving slow and making wild and unpredictable turns without warning if they suspect a fare is possible. Second, I have the fare and will drive like a bat out of hell to complete the ride and move back into the first mode. While the car's registered owner gets the ticket in the photo radar or proposal above, you have to go after the driver. I am not saying that you draw and quarter them and then put their head on a spike at some busy intersection as an example to the rest of the drivers (at least not on the first infraction anyway), but you threaten to take away his livelihood with large fines or license suspensions, and I bet they fall in line faster than a fat kid waiting for a piece of birthday cake.
Perhaps the worst offenders of all are the public bus drivers. They drive as aggressively as taxi at times and there should be zero tolerance for infractions by them. I appreciate that the taxis and buses are trying to get their passengers to their destinations quickly, but they invariably are the ones causing the biggest delays.
It is easy Taiwan...let's make it happen.
This weeks installment of "Chinese will sleep anywhere" features our own Betty. On her latest trip, her co workers found it hilarious to take a photo of her snoozing whenever they were driving. This is but one offering from a montage of 10 pictures they sent of her out cold. Each photo has her napping in a different location and outfit. Fortunately, none of them show her drooling.
"At least seven highways in Liaoning province were fully or partially closed on 24 November due to smog. The Chinese Meteorological Administration (CMA) has issued a yellow snowstorm alert (the lowest in a three-tier colour-coded warning system) for central-eastern Heilongjiang, Central-eastern Jilin and northern Liaoning provinces. On the previous day, several roads were closed in Heilongjiang province, while all flights at Harbin Taiping International Airport (HRB, Heilongjiang) were cancelled due to poor visibility." Delightful
Since this is a short week and don't have a ton of time, thought I would share the first draft of the article I wrote about driving in Taiwan. The intent was to submit to the local English paper or Community Center magazine. Have since edited it down, cleaned up the language, added pictures, etc., and am waiting to hear back if they will publish, but since I had this (very) raw version, didn't want to waste it. Enjoy and have a great Thanksgiving...
I have lived in Taipei just over a year, and from day one, have been delighted with the city. Stuff works...the water is clean, public transportation is cost efficient, quick and reliable, and there are many interesting things to do and places to eat. And the people are amazing. The country produces many high end products (a testament to hard work and ingenuity), I feel safer here walking around in the wee hours of the morning than I do in the middle of the day almost anywhere else, and just about everyone we meet has been kind and helpful to us, which is especially wonderful for someone challenged by not knowing the language.
So what is up with their style of driving? How can this society of cordial and hard working people turn into such total @$$#*({$ when they get behind the wheel?
Before I dig in, I should tell you why I think I am qualified to judge. I grew up in Southern California where the car is king. Started riding a moped at 13 and got my license on my 16th birthday. My commutes to work have been 1-2 hours in peak rush hour traffic at times. I have driven across country more than once, and have lived or driven all over the world (including the UK and Australia where they drive on the right (wrong) side of the road. And my mother, who was seventy-five at the time, even told me over a couple glasses of wine that I was conceived in a car, so consider driving as being an integral part of my DNA.
Are the Taiwanese "bad" drivers? I am not going to claim that the United States, or any country for that matter, has cornered the market on superior drivers. There is a percentage of every population with people that are spatially challenged, or have hit that point in life where reaction time has slowed and vision impaired. The fact that the locals are able to maneuver in the narrowest of lanes and alleys would indicate that they are competent, but it is the volume and nature of the aggressive drivers here that is astounding.
I am not going to go into the fact that a red light means that you have 4 more seconds to enter the intersection, or that the majority of people parking at the Costco insist on backing into the spot (shake my head as I watch them load a cubic meter of toilet paper and 20 kilos of rice into their trunks which are up against a wall). And will not tackle today the fact that pedestrians need to fear for their lives anytime they have to cross a street (in my opinion, they are considered more precious than an orange traffic cone, but less valuable than the automated traffic control scarecrows). Nor will I detail that the use of turn signals is an invitation for another driver to block your move. If I were to change the driving culture, the place I would start is the aggressive turning from the wrong lane.
There are two scenarios that I see repeated on an endless loop when on the road. The first example...you have three lanes where two are clearly marked with arrows going straight while the left lane is a left turn only lane. The light is red and there are cars piled up in the two straight lanes while there are only a couple in the left turn lane. The bad guy will zip up the left turn lane to the front of the line and probe with his front bumper into the straight lane in a game of chicken until someone allows him in. Not only does the process basically stop progress in that straight lane, but now everyone that has waited their turn is delayed because the cutter has decided that his time if far more important that everyone else.
The second scenario is the reverse. Same three lanes, one going left, only this time the traffic is piled up in the left turn lane. Our narcissistic driver will then travel in the open straight lane then dive into the intersection to make the left. As the quantity of drivers that think this is OK is high, we now have multiples behind him, which now blocks the straight lane that they are making the illegal turn from. In a lot of these cases, the illegal left turner edges so far out into the oncoming traffic lane that people have to swerve so as not to crash head-on into him.
These take on many forms. I drive by the Taipei City Hospital twice a day, and there is a street that is two lanes, one clearly marked with straight lane, and one marked to turn right in front of the hospital. At least once a week, I will see a car waiting to make that right, but there is a pedestrian, often times someone who is disabled and going to the doctor, crossing the street. Our impatient driver above cannot see what is going on in front of him, so he decides that the car in front of him is sleeping and he is going to veer into the straight lane to go around the waiting car to make the right turn, and almost hits the poor old guy with the oxygen tank.
So how did we get here? My theory is that many of the people driving cars now got their first experience on the roads driving a scooter. A lot of people are afraid of the scooter riders, but I find them to be quite good for the most part. There are plenty that take unnecessary risks like driving in blind spots and speed veering through traffic, but they are usually endangering their own lives. While it would be just a scratch on the automobile, I wish they would mellow out because the poor driver that ends of hitting the scooter rider through no fault of his own will have to live with the sight of someone getting hurt by his own vehicle. As the majority of people learned the roads on a scooter, and there is a tacit agreement with the 4-wheeled drivers that it is OK to slip through cars to get to the front of an intersection, when they later get their cars, they then believe that getting to the front of the line by any means possible is the correct way to drive.
Another part of all this cutting people off that amazes me is that no one gets mad. You rarely hear a horn honked or see a finger raised. Coming from the land of road rage, I fully expect to see fist fights breaking out at every intersection, but it feels that all the divers on the road think this behavior is OK. I believe this is partially due to anonymity of the driver with the heavy tinting of windows that appears legal. Most car windows are so blackened out that you barely see a silhouette of the driver, many times picking his/her nose. Side note...the car is an acceptable place to pick ones nose, but it seems like it is the national pastime around here.
And where does all the cutting get you but to the next red light. Honestly, have you ever driven through more than two green lights at a time here? I understand the methodology to the city planners syncing of traffic lights in this way, and it works quite well in keeping congestion low for the most part, so should encourage people to mellow out and slow down, because the risk they take to not only their own, but others lives has little reward.
This is my open and honest statement to the people of Taiwan. You have an amazing country and are a fantastic people, but until the time comes when the show of respect to strangers in public situations is same that you would afford your own mother, you will never gain the respect you deserve from the world.
And I know you can do it. When we were researching moving here, I pulled out an old National Geographic from 1993 with an article on Taiwan. There is this picture of a street clogged with scooters, and only about 25% of the riders were wearing helmets. Today, you cannot find a single rider (save for the more than occasional toddler sandwiched between mom and dad...those people should be arrested on the spot) without proper head gear. Have been told that the government made wearing helmets the law many years ago, and that they put teeth behind it with severe fines for those riders caught without one. Magically and overnight, all riders were wearing helmets.
The laws governing turns are on the books, and the challenge is to the government to enforce them. They love their cameras around here so why not install the enforcement type at the intersections. The speed cams are quite effective (full disclosure, I received seven speeding tickets in the first two months after arriving here. Speaking of those, while I am sure they generate some decent revenue, once you know where they are, they are pretty easy to defeat. In fact, I would argue they are ultimately more dangerous than helpful as people will speed and then slam on the brakes knowing one is coming up, thereby causing more rear end collisions.
You also see tons of orange cone and whistle traffic wielding officers all over, and people will do illegal maneuvers right in front of them. Give them the power to write down a license and send the ticket through the mail (as they do with the traffic cams). People will obviously deny their infraction without proof, so you make the first infraction a warning, and then hit them hard on the second. How about NT$5000 for the second and then NT$10,000 for the third? I think the government would love a new way to generate some revenue while making the roads a safer place to be. A classic win-win scenarios.
There should also be special rules and punishment for taxi drivers, who are uniformly the biggest scofflaws of all. We all know they have two modes; First, looking for a fare. Driving slow and making wild and unpredictable turns without warning if they suspect a fare is possible. Second, I have the fare and will drive like a bat out of hell to complete the ride and move back into the first mode. While the car's registered owner gets the ticket in the photo radar or proposal above, you have to go after the driver. I am not saying that you draw and quarter them and then put their head on a spike at some busy intersection as an example to the rest of the drivers (at least not on the first infraction anyway), but you threaten to take away his livelihood with large fines or license suspensions, and I bet they fall in line faster than a fat kid waiting for a piece of birthday cake.
Perhaps the worst offenders of all are the public bus drivers. They drive as aggressively as taxi at times and there should be zero tolerance for infractions by them. I appreciate that the taxis and buses are trying to get their passengers to their destinations quickly, but they invariably are the ones causing the biggest delays.
It is easy Taiwan...let's make it happen.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Week of November 22nd, 2013
Learned an interesting fact about the Taipei American School last night...they randomly drug test the high school students. Am told that the kids know about it...what they do is take a hair follicle and send it to the States for testing. I know they can't do that in public schools...can you imagine how fast peoples heads would explode? When they make a big oil discovery, they say that it could power such and such for a 100 years. Initiating involuntary public school drug testing would power the law profession for a 1000 years. In private school, I guess you gotta play by their rules or hit the bricks. I hadn't heard this factoid before and am not sure how I feel about it yet.
Speaking of conniption fits, want to share this video of the Taiwanese traffic scarecrow. I love these guys.
Extremely effective without wasting a body standing around with a sign. You know the LADWP union would freak if they tried to replace jobs with these battery powered heroes. And just think of the fun you could have with them 'round Halloween time?
Two follow-ups from last year. One, have detailed the regular battle between me and the rest of the family about brightness and how I like muted lighting while the rest of them crank up the wattage. Walking around recently on a super bright sunny day, it hit me that Chinese people just don't wear sunglasses. You will see some women with them, but they are usually well heeled (or are trying to look so) and can tell it is a fashion statement. No matter how bright it is, I have never seen a dude wear shades.
Next, early in our stay here, I railed in this space about the Kitchen Aid coffee maker we bought here and how it is not only awkward to clean properly, but is impossible to pour without dribbling coffee on the counter. Over a year later, have yet to figure it out.
I have tried everything including pouring with my left/cheating hand. It makes decent coffee and am too cheap to buy a new one, but had to get it off of my chest.
Speaking of cleansing my mind, gonna spenda couple of minutes the rest of this week's entry ranting about bad behavior of some aquiantences on social media. Will try not to name names, but am guessing these people are so clueless that they won't read between the lines and know it's about them and this will have little to know real impact.
Warning: This goes on for a while and in re-reading it, sounds pretty bitter and grumpy old manish. You may want to skip to another entry at this point.
This is for all of the annoying Facebook posters. I only do Facebook, not because I don't know about other more trendy sites, but can't/don't want to keep up with the latest thing just cause and I see no ral problem with FB other than it isn't hip. There was some comedian that said that we should all just agree to ignore the next platform of music/movie distribution so we don't end up having to buy the same thing on VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray/whatever's next.
I like Facebook, especially being so far physically removed from most people I know. You get a chance to see what's up with their kids, were they've been on vacation, what's amuzing them in the news and the occasional "I'm loaded" (or about to be) and here is where I am doing so. I am even down with posting a snap of something delicious you are eating or advocating some store or website that you feel strongly about. What I don't need is the one trick pony person that feels a daily obligation to beat the drum for their cause. Believe me, I know you feel blessed that your cat is a survivor of feline aids (it's the # 1 killer of domestic cats), and am really happy for the both of you, but we ALL get it. Perhaps think about the people that read about your happiness regularly and may be reminded about their own losses from the same malady? Related to these people are the ones that need to celebrate/mourn the birthday and anniversary of the death every person that they knew who has died every year with a nauseating rememberence that would cause Hallmark himself to gag. I went to one person's site and looked back on their history, and from May 2013 to today, there are 9 entries mourning the loss of a sibling...for example, "If tears could build a staircase up to heaven, I'd come up there and bring you right back down here, miss you." Am surprised FB doesn't automatically track those details and send out reminders to all their friends about their upcoming bi-annual wake. To those people...Downer. I am not totally devoid of emotion, and will agree to allow public memorials to one dead friend or relative annually.
Related are the ones that will send a cryptic message and use FB as their psychologists couch. Got this one yesterday..."ever wonder how it is that... strangers can become ur family & family becomes a stranger to you?". Sounds like a cry for help that would be better served by seeing a trained professional.
Am also quite bored of anyone that posts about their pet political/medical fight over 50% of their entries. To those people, I agree that global warming is a concern and am all for reduce/reuse/recycle. In fact, I agreed with it the first time you posted about it and thought about coming out to support you at the rally against it. Two years and 100 postings about it later? I want to let my gas guzzler idle inside my garage and then climb in for the long nap.
The other person that bugs the crap outta me is the one that uses a group as their personal scrap book. A friend shared a link to a group about my home town, 'You know your from old school Arcadia if you remember...' I liked the trip down memory lane with people throwing out long gone restaurants and stores, high school events, etc., but there is this one participant that posts 4 or 5 times a day about totally random shit. Like asking you to write the caption of some cartoon, a link to an old Ed Sullivan TV show appearance or that it is Petula Clark's b-day. Petula Clark is from fucking England for crying out loud. This week, in the span of an hour, she posted links to 8 songs that "inspire" her, none of which were from artists from the state of Californina, let alone Arcadia. Obviously, this chronic poster has to be a shut in and her FB friends have stopped responding to her, so this is a forum for her to engage with society. Of course, couldn't keep my mouth shut and had to say something. I tried to keep it civil, saying something like I appreciate trips down memory lane, but could we keep it somewhat Arcadia related or at least limit non-related posts to one a day? Wish I could share the shit storm that followed, but cannot see them anymore as I was told to "shove off" from the group, which I did after getting three rapid postings the next morning about 'does anyone remember' in order...Tab, Grisly Adams and Dion (of 'and the Belmonts'). I did have a couple of supporters in this exchange, but for the most part, everyone was 'so happy' to have this crap fill their FB page.
Which brings me to the most heinous person inhabiting this world, and that is the enabler. The ones that validates these people by encouraging them. You know who they/you are. Please stop it. Your seemingly innocent comments is the sustenance that keeps them alive. If you are good friends with them, it is not only OK, but your duty to have a gentle conversation with them to call out on this bad behavior.
Sorry for being such a dick about this stuff, but a previous rant last year along this line about the people who post the humblebrags like "feeling terrible, just got back from a 2-hour workout at the gym and it kicked my ass" may have had some results as I can't remember a recent posting of that nature. That or they just unfriended me and I didn't notice.
Speaking of conniption fits, want to share this video of the Taiwanese traffic scarecrow. I love these guys.
Extremely effective without wasting a body standing around with a sign. You know the LADWP union would freak if they tried to replace jobs with these battery powered heroes. And just think of the fun you could have with them 'round Halloween time?
Two follow-ups from last year. One, have detailed the regular battle between me and the rest of the family about brightness and how I like muted lighting while the rest of them crank up the wattage. Walking around recently on a super bright sunny day, it hit me that Chinese people just don't wear sunglasses. You will see some women with them, but they are usually well heeled (or are trying to look so) and can tell it is a fashion statement. No matter how bright it is, I have never seen a dude wear shades.
Next, early in our stay here, I railed in this space about the Kitchen Aid coffee maker we bought here and how it is not only awkward to clean properly, but is impossible to pour without dribbling coffee on the counter. Over a year later, have yet to figure it out.
Speaking of cleansing my mind, gonna spend
Warning: This goes on for a while and in re-reading it, sounds pretty bitter and grumpy old manish. You may want to skip to another entry at this point.
This is for all of the annoying Facebook posters. I only do Facebook, not because I don't know about other more trendy sites, but can't/don't want to keep up with the latest thing just cause and I see no ral problem with FB other than it isn't hip. There was some comedian that said that we should all just agree to ignore the next platform of music/movie distribution so we don't end up having to buy the same thing on VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray/whatever's next.
I like Facebook, especially being so far physically removed from most people I know. You get a chance to see what's up with their kids, were they've been on vacation, what's amuzing them in the news and the occasional "I'm loaded" (or about to be) and here is where I am doing so. I am even down with posting a snap of something delicious you are eating or advocating some store or website that you feel strongly about. What I don't need is the one trick pony person that feels a daily obligation to beat the drum for their cause. Believe me, I know you feel blessed that your cat is a survivor of feline aids (it's the # 1 killer of domestic cats), and am really happy for the both of you, but we ALL get it. Perhaps think about the people that read about your happiness regularly and may be reminded about their own losses from the same malady? Related to these people are the ones that need to celebrate/mourn the birthday and anniversary of the death every person that they knew who has died every year with a nauseating rememberence that would cause Hallmark himself to gag. I went to one person's site and looked back on their history, and from May 2013 to today, there are 9 entries mourning the loss of a sibling...for example, "If tears could build a staircase up to heaven, I'd come up there and bring you right back down here, miss you." Am surprised FB doesn't automatically track those details and send out reminders to all their friends about their upcoming bi-annual wake. To those people...Downer. I am not totally devoid of emotion, and will agree to allow public memorials to one dead friend or relative annually.
Related are the ones that will send a cryptic message and use FB as their psychologists couch. Got this one yesterday..."ever wonder how it is that... strangers can become ur family & family becomes a stranger to you?". Sounds like a cry for help that would be better served by seeing a trained professional.
Am also quite bored of anyone that posts about their pet political/medical fight over 50% of their entries. To those people, I agree that global warming is a concern and am all for reduce/reuse/recycle. In fact, I agreed with it the first time you posted about it and thought about coming out to support you at the rally against it. Two years and 100 postings about it later? I want to let my gas guzzler idle inside my garage and then climb in for the long nap.
The other person that bugs the crap outta me is the one that uses a group as their personal scrap book. A friend shared a link to a group about my home town, 'You know your from old school Arcadia if you remember...' I liked the trip down memory lane with people throwing out long gone restaurants and stores, high school events, etc., but there is this one participant that posts 4 or 5 times a day about totally random shit. Like asking you to write the caption of some cartoon, a link to an old Ed Sullivan TV show appearance or that it is Petula Clark's b-day. Petula Clark is from fucking England for crying out loud. This week, in the span of an hour, she posted links to 8 songs that "inspire" her, none of which were from artists from the state of Californina, let alone Arcadia. Obviously, this chronic poster has to be a shut in and her FB friends have stopped responding to her, so this is a forum for her to engage with society. Of course, couldn't keep my mouth shut and had to say something. I tried to keep it civil, saying something like I appreciate trips down memory lane, but could we keep it somewhat Arcadia related or at least limit non-related posts to one a day? Wish I could share the shit storm that followed, but cannot see them anymore as I was told to "shove off" from the group, which I did after getting three rapid postings the next morning about 'does anyone remember' in order...Tab, Grisly Adams and Dion (of 'and the Belmonts'). I did have a couple of supporters in this exchange, but for the most part, everyone was 'so happy' to have this crap fill their FB page.
Which brings me to the most heinous person inhabiting this world, and that is the enabler. The ones that validates these people by encouraging them. You know who they/you are. Please stop it. Your seemingly innocent comments is the sustenance that keeps them alive. If you are good friends with them, it is not only OK, but your duty to have a gentle conversation with them to call out on this bad behavior.
Sorry for being such a dick about this stuff, but a previous rant last year along this line about the people who post the humblebrags like "feeling terrible, just got back from a 2-hour workout at the gym and it kicked my ass" may have had some results as I can't remember a recent posting of that nature. That or they just unfriended me and I didn't notice.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Week of November 15th, 2013
A week or so ago, received an email from the kids school about heightened security due to some threats made by a former student and have since noticed beefed up security and tightened controls when trying to get on campus. Was chatting about it with a friend the other day and he told me the former student was none other than the great grandson of Chiang Kai-shek himself. You have got to read THIS ARTICLE from the South China Morning Post about it for two reasons. First, to enjoy the picture of the guy. I know they love to show the most bat-shit crazy picture of people in the press, but my buddy told me he sees the guy on the street all the time shadow boxing and talking to himself. Also, it is scary to read excerpts from his Facebook posts, not only because of the disturbing threats, but mostly because of the guys horrible grammar. My favorite..."taipei american school aint nothing but a group of white devils bullying me." Hope my White Devil kid gets a better grasp of English after attending the school. And Carolyn can't be considered a 'white devil'...I know some people refer to Chinese Americans as twinkies...yellow on the outside/white on the inside, which isn't a terribly scary moniker, but in an ever increasingly organic and gluten-free world, Twinkie the Kid has seen better days.
Betty is in the middle of a 3 week trip all over the place, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, and India. She called us up today from India and I asked how she was doing bowel movement-wise. She grudgingly admitted not good...she has been careful to drink only bottled water, but it seems that at breakfast this morning, she poured what she thought was liquid sugar into her coffee, only to later realize it was a small vase where the flower had been removed. Her tummy has been queasy since and she has over a week to go there. Haw haw. I would feel sorry for her, but she does stay in some swanky hotels and is tacking on a personal day at the Taj Mahal at the end of the trip. When she is gone, do not get to visit the Costco daily, but still need to make the trek over for milk and eggs and try to plan those trips early in the day when the place is slow. Was hoping to avoid the usual dopes, but think they must wait for the doors to open so they can be first in line at the sample tables, all the while abandoning their carts in the middle of the aisles. And they were out en masse yesterday. I think I mentioned in a previous post a couple weeks back that for one of these scofflaws, I took their abandoned cart and hid it down an aisle around the corner. Yesterday, I put plan B into action...loading up their cart with merchandise. I hope they know how to cook USDA Choice Heel Muscle.
Sooo...am waiting in the check-out line looking at one of these little kiddies, and it struck me that Chinese kids have unusually large heads in relation to their bodies. It doesn't seem that the heads are large in relation to their bodies once they reach adulthood, but they have to be close to 50% head at birth. Might help explain why Chinese students are considered superior to their western counterparts, and how we ultimately catch-up and (obviously) pass them by intellectually as we hit our full size. This realization then got me re-thinking about my theories on why old Chinese women seem so angry. I was looking at bubble heads mom, and she had no hips. Zero...like a scrawny 12 year old boy, which is very common in many (most?) Chinese women. The question then is, how do they pass those giant melons during child birth? This hip to head dichotomy and their astounding success in procreation is truly one of nature's wonders. When men and women argue about which sex is tougher, the debate usually ends when women throw out the pregnancy card 'cause us fellas only have the passing of a kidney stone as counter point. Painful I'm told, but nothing close. So doing the math...giant baby skull + narrow hips = pissed off Chinese woman.
Last night, went to see Herbie Hancock at the National Concert Hall. Along with it's sister venue, the National Theatre, it sits in a giant plaza that is bookended by massive gates on one end (seen below) and the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial on the other.
Yes, the Concert Hall and Theatre look very similar...nearly identical. Of course we played a round of "do all Chinese things look alike" gags. It is a very impressive place during the day, but it was the first time I had been there at night. On a delightfully warm evening headed to a cool show with a couple of beers in me, found it to be a magical setting.
We got there about 40 minutes early, and they had a little kiosk outside the main door that sold snacks along with craft beer and wine, so we sat down and enjoyed a refreshing beverage. Once again...delightful. One of the things I love about Taiwan is that they treat adults like adults. You can have a beer on the steps of their most prestigious music hall and not be cordoned off by barricades from the rest of the world. If you want to take your beer around the corner to have a smoke, no one hassles you. Went to a baseball game last Sunday, and not only do they not cut off beer sales in the 7th inning, on the way out, they were offering them two for one. I don't think it is only due to the apparent lack of a tidal wave of lawsuits that follow when one drunk narcissistic asshole decides to throw his bottle at the field, but hits the litigious mother of three instead, and the resulting government legislation that restricts the rest of us from enjoying a cup of coffee without warning us that the contents are hot, but mostly as a result of a population that behaves themselves.
As for the show, am not an enormous jazz affcianado, but like it when I hear it, and the opportunity of seeing a jazz legend in an amazing venue was a no brainer. The inside of the Hall was classy, but not as ornate as I had imagined, probably due to the fact it was completed in 1987.
I had expected the crowd to be heavier with westerners, but it was almost uniformly Chinese. They were polite, but by the end were grooving appropriately. I had read that the acoustics were supposed to be superb inside, but as with a lot of these type of venues, they are not designed with heavy percussion or amplification in mind. The sound suffered early on, kinda like music at a convention center, but improved as the night went along. Herbie's band was top notch. The drummer cut his teeth with Zappa and spent a decade along side Sting. The bass player is the guy from the SNL band...you'll often see him laughing his ass off during the opening monologue. And the guitarist was some hotshot from Benin...more of a texturalist than typical jazz guitarist. He kinda got lost in the mix most of the night, but his solo was this combination of sounds that were rivetingly bizzare. As for Herbie, guy is pure genius and legend (Miles plucked him at 20 to be in his 2nd Great Quintet AND he composed all the music for The Fat Albert Show...nuff said). At 73 years old, he has not lost a step. He went on long keyboard runs for nearly 2 hours straight. And he was all over the place with sounds from straight jazz, to space funk, to sounds I have no words to describe. He did play his "hit" to lead off the encore. Anyone old enough to be alive during the early days of MTV will remember Rockit. Not only played it, but brought it funky fresh on the keytar!
And groovy? As they say, black don't crack. Still so hip and spry. I know the trend in African-American music is all about hip hop and such, and I understand that this'll sound like Granpa Gomez talking, but they ain't got nothin' on these jazz legends. Can you imagine an old Kanye electrifying the crowd at the age of 73? No way...with rare exception, that stuff is instantly forgettable, but slide Herbie's Maiden Voyages or Head Hunters onto your turntable and they sound as cool as the day he put them out 40 years ago. They even sound cool coming out of crappy Dell computer speakers off of YouTube. Am already waiting for Puff Doody to make his first guest appearance on NCIS-Los Angeles Special Victims Unit alongside Ice-T and LL Cool J. You think Herbie was a repeating character on Banaby Jones or BB King did a guest spot on Mannix? They were, and are, far too groovy for that.
Betty is in the middle of a 3 week trip all over the place, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, and India. She called us up today from India and I asked how she was doing bowel movement-wise. She grudgingly admitted not good...she has been careful to drink only bottled water, but it seems that at breakfast this morning, she poured what she thought was liquid sugar into her coffee, only to later realize it was a small vase where the flower had been removed. Her tummy has been queasy since and she has over a week to go there. Haw haw. I would feel sorry for her, but she does stay in some swanky hotels and is tacking on a personal day at the Taj Mahal at the end of the trip. When she is gone, do not get to visit the Costco daily, but still need to make the trek over for milk and eggs and try to plan those trips early in the day when the place is slow. Was hoping to avoid the usual dopes, but think they must wait for the doors to open so they can be first in line at the sample tables, all the while abandoning their carts in the middle of the aisles. And they were out en masse yesterday. I think I mentioned in a previous post a couple weeks back that for one of these scofflaws, I took their abandoned cart and hid it down an aisle around the corner. Yesterday, I put plan B into action...loading up their cart with merchandise. I hope they know how to cook USDA Choice Heel Muscle.
That's about 10 bucks for a little over 2 pounds by the way. I always thought this was the kind of stuff they ground up and put in hot dogs, but there you have it.
Another thing I noticed about shopping at Costco at 10:30AM on a weekday is that a lot of people bring their babies along. There must have been a dozen of them and they all seem interested in looking at me, especially these days as you don't see many Chinese with bushy faces, and am now in week 2 of Movember growth.
Last night, went to see Herbie Hancock at the National Concert Hall. Along with it's sister venue, the National Theatre, it sits in a giant plaza that is bookended by massive gates on one end (seen below) and the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial on the other.
Yes, the Concert Hall and Theatre look very similar...nearly identical. Of course we played a round of "do all Chinese things look alike" gags. It is a very impressive place during the day, but it was the first time I had been there at night. On a delightfully warm evening headed to a cool show with a couple of beers in me, found it to be a magical setting.
As for the show, am not an enormous jazz affcianado, but like it when I hear it, and the opportunity of seeing a jazz legend in an amazing venue was a no brainer. The inside of the Hall was classy, but not as ornate as I had imagined, probably due to the fact it was completed in 1987.
And groovy? As they say, black don't crack. Still so hip and spry. I know the trend in African-American music is all about hip hop and such, and I understand that this'll sound like Granpa Gomez talking, but they ain't got nothin' on these jazz legends. Can you imagine an old Kanye electrifying the crowd at the age of 73? No way...with rare exception, that stuff is instantly forgettable, but slide Herbie's Maiden Voyages or Head Hunters onto your turntable and they sound as cool as the day he put them out 40 years ago. They even sound cool coming out of crappy Dell computer speakers off of YouTube. Am already waiting for Puff Doody to make his first guest appearance on NCIS-Los Angeles Special Victims Unit alongside Ice-T and LL Cool J. You think Herbie was a repeating character on Banaby Jones or BB King did a guest spot on Mannix? They were, and are, far too groovy for that.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Week of November 8th, 2013
Top 3 literal translations from English to Mandarin for this week...
# 3 - Turkey = Huo ji (Fire chicken)
# 2 - Sausage = Xiang Chang (Fragrant intestine)
#1 - To call someone a brown noser = Pai ta de ma pi (You pat the horse to make him fart)
I love that last one and will make it my mission to spread it throughout the globe.
This weeks installment of Chinese narcolepsy comes from the Costco and this guy testing out the office chair display.
Completely out. Kinda looked like my dad (and likely future me) with the well worn khakis and long earlobes. I figure he must have been with his wife who takes her sweet time waiting for every sample while leaving her cart in the middle off the roadway while she waits in line. Took the above as I walked in, and he was still there as I left a good 10-15 minutes later. Luckily for him, this was not the busiest spot in the warehouse.
Around our building, I see this old woman nearly every day as she pushes a decent sized cart collecting cardboard for recycling.
She is permanently bent over at a 90 degree angle. Was talking to Betty about her and she was telling me that she saw a news show about her recently. She has terrible scoliosis (obviously), but that she is out there working her butt off as her son was recently handicapped and lost his job, so she needs to make money to help pay for his medical bills and living expenses. When I feel myself getting sick of the world of political hate speak/dysfunction where the discourse is not black and white, but black and blacker, or that the Pakistani Taliban just voted The Butcher of Swat (the guy who ordered that 14 year-old Malala Yousafzai to be shot in the face for advocating girls getting and education) to lead their organization, I look forward to seeing this lady in the street and hope there are more of her than them.
In lighter thoughts, have been on a major Latino food kick lately. They recently opened a joint around the corner called Fiesta that is run by a Peruvian/Cuban family, and we had super high hopes of getting the real deal, but they just do not bring it. Not sure what their problem is, but it tastes like crap. Have gone a couple times in hopes they get it together, but sadly... Last Friday, they offered a "Mexican" cooking class at the local community center and one of the dishes they demonstrated was peccadillo, which is a stew of meat and veggies. Very good and have recreated it at home to pretty decent reviews. Paul even asked for the leftovers this morning with an egg on top. While that is all good, there were two big takeaways from the class. First, we were discussing our communal frustration with Fiesta and one of the people in the class kept saying we need to try a place called Dos Chinos that opened last Spring. Hadn't heard of it, but with the absolute dearth of a Latin food place in Taipei that is edible, we ran there last Saturday night. Talk about great...they made us some mean burritos/tacos with chorizo and pulled pork that was as good as I've ever eaten. The whole family felt the same. It's a hike downtown so isn't a decent option for a weekly visit, but is in a cool neighborhood and is worth planning ahead to get some of their goodness.
The second take away was learning the key spice that makes Mexican food taste the way it does. Cumin. They put it in everything and it immediately transforms anything into tasting Mexican. I've written before how the locals here smell of oily garlic, and the conversation I related of the Indian guy, where we talked about how Indians smell of curry powder, but how Indians thought that Westerners smelled of dairy. Now knowing about this cumin thing, I totally get that the odor of a typical Mexican person is the hint of cumin.
Lastly for today, CNN ran a story about the upcoming naming of the panda at the National Zoo. The choices...Bao Bao, Ling Hua, Mulan, Long Yun and Zhen Bao. Why do we have to always give pandas born in the US Chinese names? How many Chinese people do you know that use their Chinese names when they come to the West? Zero. I do not know a single Chinese person here that hasn't given themselves a Western name. This is one of those cultural phenomenons that I will be working to get to the bottom of soon. I will also be running my own contest to assign myself a Chinese name and hope to have a list of candidates for you in a week or so. If you have any suggestions to add to the list, please feel free to submit. I will be choosing those that are real names and not the made up ones like they did for those Korean pilots that crashed the plane in SF a few months ago, although that was some funny shit.
# 3 - Turkey = Huo ji (Fire chicken)
# 2 - Sausage = Xiang Chang (Fragrant intestine)
#1 - To call someone a brown noser = Pai ta de ma pi (You pat the horse to make him fart)
I love that last one and will make it my mission to spread it throughout the globe.
This weeks installment of Chinese narcolepsy comes from the Costco and this guy testing out the office chair display.
Around our building, I see this old woman nearly every day as she pushes a decent sized cart collecting cardboard for recycling.
In lighter thoughts, have been on a major Latino food kick lately. They recently opened a joint around the corner called Fiesta that is run by a Peruvian/Cuban family, and we had super high hopes of getting the real deal, but they just do not bring it. Not sure what their problem is, but it tastes like crap. Have gone a couple times in hopes they get it together, but sadly... Last Friday, they offered a "Mexican" cooking class at the local community center and one of the dishes they demonstrated was peccadillo, which is a stew of meat and veggies. Very good and have recreated it at home to pretty decent reviews. Paul even asked for the leftovers this morning with an egg on top. While that is all good, there were two big takeaways from the class. First, we were discussing our communal frustration with Fiesta and one of the people in the class kept saying we need to try a place called Dos Chinos that opened last Spring. Hadn't heard of it, but with the absolute dearth of a Latin food place in Taipei that is edible, we ran there last Saturday night. Talk about great...they made us some mean burritos/tacos with chorizo and pulled pork that was as good as I've ever eaten. The whole family felt the same. It's a hike downtown so isn't a decent option for a weekly visit, but is in a cool neighborhood and is worth planning ahead to get some of their goodness.
Lastly for today, CNN ran a story about the upcoming naming of the panda at the National Zoo. The choices...Bao Bao, Ling Hua, Mulan, Long Yun and Zhen Bao. Why do we have to always give pandas born in the US Chinese names? How many Chinese people do you know that use their Chinese names when they come to the West? Zero. I do not know a single Chinese person here that hasn't given themselves a Western name. This is one of those cultural phenomenons that I will be working to get to the bottom of soon. I will also be running my own contest to assign myself a Chinese name and hope to have a list of candidates for you in a week or so. If you have any suggestions to add to the list, please feel free to submit. I will be choosing those that are real names and not the made up ones like they did for those Korean pilots that crashed the plane in SF a few months ago, although that was some funny shit.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Week of November 1st, 2013
The family and I were on an elevator the other day and it stops on a floor to let more people get on, and a little local kid (5ish) gets on, takes one look at me and runs behind his mother. She grabs him and says something and they get on, but the whole time he is eyeballing me suspiciously. Betty later translated what the mother said..."it's OK, he's just like Santa Claus. Do all us white people look like Santa Claus to you? How racist. On the bright side, at least I look like someone famous.
Figuring out a new culture is like peeling an onion as some things are slowly revealed. Have been perplexed by the pathological need for the locals to back into parking spots. My working theory was that it was due to centuries (millennium?) of being forever vigilant to the need to get away from the invading hordes in an instant and that it was somehow built into their DNA. When we got married, Betty told me that Chinese people like to give gold as a gift cause that is something you can grab and carry with you if you are forced to flee. Back to parking, I am not advocating one way over the other but personally, I think pulling in straight lowers the risk of damage to your/other cars, and is ultimately faster, but will decide which way based on the situation...traffic, size of space, etc. One of the places where pulling in straight is always the right thing to do is at the Costco, obviously to be able to load in the huge bag of paper towels or giant box of Lucky Charms, but I'd say over 50% of the cars insist on backing in there (and then they pull into the road to load their crap and block traffic). Anyway, I am in some random parking structure the other day, and when I get back to the car, there is this an official looking note on my windshield (that I can't read), but notice that none of the other cars have them so figure it wasn't an ad and was trying to tell me something. I took it into Chinese class today, and the teacher tells me it says that I should have backed into the spot as it is safer so as to not hit pedestrians. I know from experience that the use of rear view mirrors is not a regular habit of the Taiwanese, and it's obvious they don't give a shit about the pedestrians in general, but I am guessing that there must be some public service campaign to help reduce the number of people they run over, which finally explains this habit.
I haven't bitched about Chinese class much this year, mainly because the other students aren't pains in the ass. It is a conversation class, so we learn words and phrases to use in situations that we find ourselves in...making reservations, dealing with taxi drivers, etc. She will also pepper the dialogue with Chinese sayings from time to time...today's was about being married and whether to ditch the old wife for a younger model. It goes...it is better to have an old enemy than a new friend. It feels more poignant if you put 'Confucious say' in front and then say it with a bad Chinese accent. Last week, it was my turn to suggest a topic to learn about, and having the maturity of a 12 year-old boy, I wanted to learn about the body and more specifically, bodily functions. Snot, diarrhea, poop...funny in any language. My favorite was the equivalent to saying bullshit in Chinese is gao pi, which translated means dog fart. So useful. Along that line is saying to someone pai nide ma pi, which is you pat the horse to make it fart. This is calling someone a brown noser. I told the teacher that by the end of this year, I want to be able to tell at least one joke in Chinese that is funny...they've had 4000 years of history, you'd think they would have come up with one by now. I tried to translate a couple of my favorites this week and it went no where. They were; if you don't like the weather in Taipei, wait 5 minutes and then shoot yourself in the face. And...when someone tells you that something hurts, I will reply that 'your face is killing me'. The expression on her face was priceless. She asks the other students (Turkish, French and English)...'do people say that?' From their reactions, that brand of humor doesn't travel past the American border.
Was at a fancy store the other day, and an entire shelf of the refrigerated seafood section was devoted to the sale of fish heads. I know they are into seeing them on the plate, and always thought it was to ensure that the fish was fresh, but what the hell do they do with just the head. Sharing the below picture as he was the most colorful...
Hard to see the price, but for this head and tail, the cost was NT$312, which is 10 bucks US. No gag here...just sayin'
Finally, Halloween is not a thing here (although it does fall on Chiang Kai Shek's b-day, so Betty had it off of work), but they do have parties in the elementary school classes at the American School, and the kids dress up and do goofy games. Carolyn went as a boxer, but with the baggy boxer shorts, sleazy robe and white tank top, I suggested she throw a little pasta sauce on her tank and call herself an Italian wife beater. She was not amused.
Figuring out a new culture is like peeling an onion as some things are slowly revealed. Have been perplexed by the pathological need for the locals to back into parking spots. My working theory was that it was due to centuries (millennium?) of being forever vigilant to the need to get away from the invading hordes in an instant and that it was somehow built into their DNA. When we got married, Betty told me that Chinese people like to give gold as a gift cause that is something you can grab and carry with you if you are forced to flee. Back to parking, I am not advocating one way over the other but personally, I think pulling in straight lowers the risk of damage to your/other cars, and is ultimately faster, but will decide which way based on the situation...traffic, size of space, etc. One of the places where pulling in straight is always the right thing to do is at the Costco, obviously to be able to load in the huge bag of paper towels or giant box of Lucky Charms, but I'd say over 50% of the cars insist on backing in there (and then they pull into the road to load their crap and block traffic). Anyway, I am in some random parking structure the other day, and when I get back to the car, there is this an official looking note on my windshield (that I can't read), but notice that none of the other cars have them so figure it wasn't an ad and was trying to tell me something. I took it into Chinese class today, and the teacher tells me it says that I should have backed into the spot as it is safer so as to not hit pedestrians. I know from experience that the use of rear view mirrors is not a regular habit of the Taiwanese, and it's obvious they don't give a shit about the pedestrians in general, but I am guessing that there must be some public service campaign to help reduce the number of people they run over, which finally explains this habit.
I haven't bitched about Chinese class much this year, mainly because the other students aren't pains in the ass. It is a conversation class, so we learn words and phrases to use in situations that we find ourselves in...making reservations, dealing with taxi drivers, etc. She will also pepper the dialogue with Chinese sayings from time to time...today's was about being married and whether to ditch the old wife for a younger model. It goes...it is better to have an old enemy than a new friend. It feels more poignant if you put 'Confucious say' in front and then say it with a bad Chinese accent. Last week, it was my turn to suggest a topic to learn about, and having the maturity of a 12 year-old boy, I wanted to learn about the body and more specifically, bodily functions. Snot, diarrhea, poop...funny in any language. My favorite was the equivalent to saying bullshit in Chinese is gao pi, which translated means dog fart. So useful. Along that line is saying to someone pai nide ma pi, which is you pat the horse to make it fart. This is calling someone a brown noser. I told the teacher that by the end of this year, I want to be able to tell at least one joke in Chinese that is funny...they've had 4000 years of history, you'd think they would have come up with one by now. I tried to translate a couple of my favorites this week and it went no where. They were; if you don't like the weather in Taipei, wait 5 minutes and then shoot yourself in the face. And...when someone tells you that something hurts, I will reply that 'your face is killing me'. The expression on her face was priceless. She asks the other students (Turkish, French and English)...'do people say that?' From their reactions, that brand of humor doesn't travel past the American border.
Was at a fancy store the other day, and an entire shelf of the refrigerated seafood section was devoted to the sale of fish heads. I know they are into seeing them on the plate, and always thought it was to ensure that the fish was fresh, but what the hell do they do with just the head. Sharing the below picture as he was the most colorful...
Hard to see the price, but for this head and tail, the cost was NT$312, which is 10 bucks US. No gag here...just sayin'
Finally, Halloween is not a thing here (although it does fall on Chiang Kai Shek's b-day, so Betty had it off of work), but they do have parties in the elementary school classes at the American School, and the kids dress up and do goofy games. Carolyn went as a boxer, but with the baggy boxer shorts, sleazy robe and white tank top, I suggested she throw a little pasta sauce on her tank and call herself an Italian wife beater. She was not amused.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Week of October 25th, 2013
Couple of fun times were had this week. On Wednesday evening, our buddy Mike (you may remember him from his doppelganger Chinese Spranger that sideswiped our car a couple weeks ago) came to town for work. He came into train the local Expeditors office on something on Thursday before moving onto Thailand that night, so we had a few hours with him Wednesday evening. So what can one expect to be shown of TPE in 4 hours? Mike implied to us via email from his connecting airport that he was hungry and sore, so our first stop was for ramen at Ippudo (natch). Spranger said he had never been for proper ramen before and it looked like it hit the spot. Felt better to know that I was not the only human on earth that had never experienced this wonderful Japanese black art before and was glad to be the one to share this delicacy with him. He seemed to enjoy it and it filled the hole in his belly.
Then we had to address his "soreness", so it was onto to our neighborhood for a late night foot massage. Our local place takes customers up to 11PM, which fit our limited schedule. Betty and Mike settled in for an hour of some paw manipulation. They do work you over pretty good and about 45 minutes in, Mike said that he would be OK if it was over at that point, but he didn't dare tell them that as the masseuses were star struck with him. They (really the ambiguously gay masseur) kept telling (through Betty's translation) him what a good looking white man he was and wondered if he was some movie star, so Mike's ego was thoroughly stroked. For the rest of the night, I kept calling him Tom Cruise. Actually, referred to him as such with a Chinese accent...Tom-a Cruise-a. They were so smitten that they asked for a photo. I swear, if I see this framed and displayed in their wall of fame on our next visit, am gonna hurl.
I didn't join them for the massage, mainly cause they hurt me more than making me feel better, but also as I wanted to play with my new iPod that Mike muled over for me. I bought the Classic, with 160gb of space a few weeks back in anticipation of his visit, so was hanging out with them during their rub down to play with it. It is so great...put everything I hve on iTunes onto it (85gb, 8900 songs and just about a month of continuous music). So far, have just hit 'shuffle all' and am hearing things in my collection that I had only played a couple times, but didn't really appreciate the first time around. Love it love it love it so much. Combine it with the new HTC One phone, that can live stream almost any radio station on the planet, my subscription to NFL Game Pass and Netflix, and now being tuned in properly is now complete. We live in a truly great time.
The other good time was at the TAS Food Fair on Saturday. I was kinda bitching about the workload and disorganization of it the other day, but the day of was a great time. Tons of work for yours truly...got there at 6:30AM to set-up the three drink booth stands, and a lot of hustling throughout the day keeping them supplied and staffed, and then tearing down till about 4p, but it is a day long party with everyone you know being there. The Fair is a huge deal in town as there are not only food offerings are from all corners of the planet (some being excellent...can't remember the last time I had a falafel), but there were also games, crafts, a Haunted House, etc. I think they estimated the crowd at 8,000 and at prime time, there was a 20 minute wait to get in and bus loads of people were getting dropped off. The Netherlands booth didn't have the best food, really, when was the last time you wanted to go eat Dutch unless you didn't want to pay the whole bill, but their workers definitely had the best looking outfits...had a Catholic school uniform meets Hamish farm girl vibe.
I have to call out how awesome the family was in helping. Carolyn took a shift as the 5th graders got to use helping at the booths as part of their 10 hours of service they are all required to give. Betty and Paul offered to take a two hour shift, but I mentioned to Paul the night before that I could use some help early (6AM on a Saturday) moving drinks and such. He was reluctant when I went to bed, but as I'm getting ready to head out, he wakes up and tells me he's coming along. One of his female friends was there early too, so his motivation to give dad a hand might not have been pure, but his help was invaluable. Then he and Betty took over the main booth from 9-11am. Their booth was in the middle of the main food section and it did 3 times the business the other two booths did combined, and they were busting it from the opening bell. At 11, their "adult" volunteer replacement didn't show, and they hung in there through the lunch rush from 11-1pm. Paul had also enlisted a couple of his buddies to help too, so they were having a work party.
Then, the 1PM replacement parent didn't show either, so Betty was tabbed for another shift. That's a lot of work for both of them and while I think they had a good time, I was still very grateful for their efforts. Toward the end of the fair, some booths had a bunch of food leftover, so we took home a huge pile of samosas for a couple bucks, and the bake sale gave Paul a big bag of goodies that didn't sell, so we had a relatively free dinner. As we sat around eating our bounty for dinner, we all got to share our collective experiences from the day of hard work. After dinner, we turned off the lights and watched the latest episode of our favorite family guilty pleasure show, NCIS. We have done a lot of cool things together, but cannot remember a more satisfying family day.
Since I'm blowing smoke, have to puff a little more about Paul. We had our parent-teacher conferences with his on Thursday. So far, he is pulling in straight A's, but the impressive part is how all of the teachers say how much they love him. They all appreciate his energy and humor, and how much they enjoy him being in their class. Apparently, he tells the English teacher jokes and says to her that he wishes he could tell her more inappropriate ones. He goes into her class early and writes one on the chalkboard every morning. Genius. Am sure the fact that she's cute helps with the motivation. She said that she was out with another one of his (female) teachers the night before and were talking about how they have a mutual admiration for him. Am so damn envious of the kids way with the chicks.
Finally, I mentioned a few weeks ago that Carolyn is on a new (and improved) soccer team this year. The parents of the girls saw a need for their own club, so a few us got together and formed one called the Taipei Heartbreakers. We hired a professional coach and fill in the assistant ranks with very high quality parent coaching. It is a terrific organization and the girls are really liking it while getting good instruction. My role is in team communications, but was also a consultant on the uniform design. I did very little work in sourcing a vendor or working with the designer, but did have a little input on the color scheme and some of the trim design. We had our first game last Sunday, and while the girls played well, they looked awesome. I truly believe these are the best looking uniforms for a female team that I have ever seen.
Then we had to address his "soreness", so it was onto to our neighborhood for a late night foot massage. Our local place takes customers up to 11PM, which fit our limited schedule. Betty and Mike settled in for an hour of some paw manipulation. They do work you over pretty good and about 45 minutes in, Mike said that he would be OK if it was over at that point, but he didn't dare tell them that as the masseuses were star struck with him. They (really the ambiguously gay masseur) kept telling (through Betty's translation) him what a good looking white man he was and wondered if he was some movie star, so Mike's ego was thoroughly stroked. For the rest of the night, I kept calling him Tom Cruise. Actually, referred to him as such with a Chinese accent...Tom-a Cruise-a. They were so smitten that they asked for a photo. I swear, if I see this framed and displayed in their wall of fame on our next visit, am gonna hurl.
I didn't join them for the massage, mainly cause they hurt me more than making me feel better, but also as I wanted to play with my new iPod that Mike muled over for me. I bought the Classic, with 160gb of space a few weeks back in anticipation of his visit, so was hanging out with them during their rub down to play with it. It is so great...put everything I hve on iTunes onto it (85gb, 8900 songs and just about a month of continuous music). So far, have just hit 'shuffle all' and am hearing things in my collection that I had only played a couple times, but didn't really appreciate the first time around. Love it love it love it so much. Combine it with the new HTC One phone, that can live stream almost any radio station on the planet, my subscription to NFL Game Pass and Netflix, and now being tuned in properly is now complete. We live in a truly great time.
The other good time was at the TAS Food Fair on Saturday. I was kinda bitching about the workload and disorganization of it the other day, but the day of was a great time. Tons of work for yours truly...got there at 6:30AM to set-up the three drink booth stands, and a lot of hustling throughout the day keeping them supplied and staffed, and then tearing down till about 4p, but it is a day long party with everyone you know being there. The Fair is a huge deal in town as there are not only food offerings are from all corners of the planet (some being excellent...can't remember the last time I had a falafel), but there were also games, crafts, a Haunted House, etc. I think they estimated the crowd at 8,000 and at prime time, there was a 20 minute wait to get in and bus loads of people were getting dropped off. The Netherlands booth didn't have the best food, really, when was the last time you wanted to go eat Dutch unless you didn't want to pay the whole bill, but their workers definitely had the best looking outfits...had a Catholic school uniform meets Hamish farm girl vibe.
I have to call out how awesome the family was in helping. Carolyn took a shift as the 5th graders got to use helping at the booths as part of their 10 hours of service they are all required to give. Betty and Paul offered to take a two hour shift, but I mentioned to Paul the night before that I could use some help early (6AM on a Saturday) moving drinks and such. He was reluctant when I went to bed, but as I'm getting ready to head out, he wakes up and tells me he's coming along. One of his female friends was there early too, so his motivation to give dad a hand might not have been pure, but his help was invaluable. Then he and Betty took over the main booth from 9-11am. Their booth was in the middle of the main food section and it did 3 times the business the other two booths did combined, and they were busting it from the opening bell. At 11, their "adult" volunteer replacement didn't show, and they hung in there through the lunch rush from 11-1pm. Paul had also enlisted a couple of his buddies to help too, so they were having a work party.
Since I'm blowing smoke, have to puff a little more about Paul. We had our parent-teacher conferences with his on Thursday. So far, he is pulling in straight A's, but the impressive part is how all of the teachers say how much they love him. They all appreciate his energy and humor, and how much they enjoy him being in their class. Apparently, he tells the English teacher jokes and says to her that he wishes he could tell her more inappropriate ones. He goes into her class early and writes one on the chalkboard every morning. Genius. Am sure the fact that she's cute helps with the motivation. She said that she was out with another one of his (female) teachers the night before and were talking about how they have a mutual admiration for him. Am so damn envious of the kids way with the chicks.
Finally, I mentioned a few weeks ago that Carolyn is on a new (and improved) soccer team this year. The parents of the girls saw a need for their own club, so a few us got together and formed one called the Taipei Heartbreakers. We hired a professional coach and fill in the assistant ranks with very high quality parent coaching. It is a terrific organization and the girls are really liking it while getting good instruction. My role is in team communications, but was also a consultant on the uniform design. I did very little work in sourcing a vendor or working with the designer, but did have a little input on the color scheme and some of the trim design. We had our first game last Sunday, and while the girls played well, they looked awesome. I truly believe these are the best looking uniforms for a female team that I have ever seen.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Week of October 18th, 2013
Kind of an unusual week socially. I was contacted by two "friends of friends" that just moved to Taipei that asked to meet to have me tell them what I know about Taipei, so had a couple of lunches with mini-tours of the neighborhood. Couple of nice fellas. One whose wife is here working for 3M with a couple kids at the American school. The other is an old college Deadhead friend's friend and we have high hopes for him. Is really into music and is also a big baseball fan. He also has a couple kids at the American school and he and his wife both work for the State Department. I even talked him into helping me out at the Food Fair next weekend.
The big PTA fundraiser in the Fall is the Food Fair held at the school and it is a pretty good scene. Being an international school, there is a wide variety of cultures in the school community and therefore are a lot of food options represented...all the bright stars one would want; Thai, Indian, Italian and Mexican. You also get those cuisines that are like brown dwarfs...stars that had insufficient mass to ignite...like German and Russian. Last year, I stood behind a grill and cooked dogs in searing heat for the "American" booth for 4 hours. Not a good time, but I volunteered to help out with whatever this year cause it seemed like the right thing to do. Was asked if I could run the drinks booth and said sure. Was great actually, cause all you sell is water and Coke products and it's a piece of cake. What they sprung on me this week is they are going to increase the number of drink booths at the fair from 1 to 3, so now have gone from a small business owner to running a chain restaurant...envision something like Pollos Hermanos. So have had to scramble to find volunteers to help fill the booths for 5 hours, plan set-up and such, which has cut into my MLB playoff watching enjoyment a bit (currently, Dodgers down 3-2 going back to STL.) The most frustrating part is that the organizer is one of the types that likes to think through everything out loud...so annoying. I appreciate that she is also a volunteer and that it's a huge job, but the position needs someone that is more authoritative. Am happy to help, just tell me what you want and save me the inner workings of your mental process. I don't dare say anything though or they'll have me running the show next year.
Last Saturday, was invited to go out with some folks to sample one of the $100 plate restaurants downtown. Pretty simple concept...minimally decorated beer hall that serves a variety of food dishes that cost $100 (US$3.50) along with a choice of fresh fish that they steam whole (costs a bit more than $100). Along the back wall are huge beer fridges where you go grab your own bottles (NT80/US$2.80 for a 750ml bottle) and just eat and booze the night away. In our party (of 9) was an executive chef at a local fancy hotel, and he selected the fish. You can kind of see the fish offerings in this photo.
That photo makes the place look pretty classy actually...good colors. Took this with my new phone, and HTC One, which I totally love. Decided to move away from the iBrands due to the crappy battery life and into the Android. Thought that getting a Samsung was cliché and the new HTC (a Taiwanese company) was getting great reviews. Time will tell if the lifespan is any better, but so far, the functionality is excellent and it is a dream ergonomically.
We had some adventurous food orderers who chose some "treats" like steamed pork bellies, spicy fried cuttlefish, and BBQ squid along with some more familiar offerings like eggplant and tofu. The familiar things were good while I was mixed on the stuff outside of my comfort zone, but that is the fun of it, no? We all agreed to go with Taiwan Beer, which I've grown way to fond of. The 9 of us drank 43 bottles...just over two crates.
I didn't take that photo...someone with an iPhone did...and have the same damn rotating issue with it. Another reason I am happy to have changed brands. The next day, we all agreed that we should have stopped at 40 bottles. Cannot remember the last time I've had such a raging hangover.
A highlight of the night was the balloon animal guy that came in and was gifted in the art of making erotic balloon art. Was too lit to remember to take snaps of the penis hat. But I was coherent enough to get a picture of the highlight of the evening (for me anyway)...the Taiwan Beer Girl.
Check out that two handed simultaneous pour. The glasses were the little shot glass kind, so this is harder than it looks. And she did not spill a single drop. Add in the TW Beer cheer leading outfit, her (unusual for a Chinese) dimples, and more than my share of 43 bottles of beer, and I felt like I had found a future mother for my children (should that need unexpectedly arise of course).
Finally for this week, have to share some recent conversations with Carolyn (now age 10). She has a friend that she's been pretty tight with so far, and I asked her the other day if she wanted to invite her for a sleepover. She said that she hasn't been getting along great with her recently as this friend is getting into boys. Carolyn was feeling pressured by this girl to find a boy that she "liked". It was a nice moment that she still feels comfortable talking about this stuff with me, and hearing that her attitude was that she feels too young for that kind of thing. A couple days later, Care volunteers that she told this friend that there was a boy she kinda/sorta liked and that this friend immediately started "liking" this boy too. I have heard of this proclivity amongst some females, but the fact it is rearing its ugly head at 10 years old really grossed me out. So far, I like her attitude towards the whole situation but really fear for the peer pressure she is going to face for the next what...decade. Longer? I pray that we are instilling the right mind set that will allow her to cope with it successfully, but am open to any tips those of you with older daughters might want to share. The other morning, am on Skype with my buddy talking football when Paul wakes up and kinda joins the conversation. My buddy asks Paul (now age 14) if there are girls he likes and he says no. I say, what about that girl so and so I see you hanging around with sometimes, she looks cute, and Paul replies "yeah, but she is always depressed" and so is keeping his distance. So far so good with that one.
The big PTA fundraiser in the Fall is the Food Fair held at the school and it is a pretty good scene. Being an international school, there is a wide variety of cultures in the school community and therefore are a lot of food options represented...all the bright stars one would want; Thai, Indian, Italian and Mexican. You also get those cuisines that are like brown dwarfs...stars that had insufficient mass to ignite...like German and Russian. Last year, I stood behind a grill and cooked dogs in searing heat for the "American" booth for 4 hours. Not a good time, but I volunteered to help out with whatever this year cause it seemed like the right thing to do. Was asked if I could run the drinks booth and said sure. Was great actually, cause all you sell is water and Coke products and it's a piece of cake. What they sprung on me this week is they are going to increase the number of drink booths at the fair from 1 to 3, so now have gone from a small business owner to running a chain restaurant...envision something like Pollos Hermanos. So have had to scramble to find volunteers to help fill the booths for 5 hours, plan set-up and such, which has cut into my MLB playoff watching enjoyment a bit (currently, Dodgers down 3-2 going back to STL.) The most frustrating part is that the organizer is one of the types that likes to think through everything out loud...so annoying. I appreciate that she is also a volunteer and that it's a huge job, but the position needs someone that is more authoritative. Am happy to help, just tell me what you want and save me the inner workings of your mental process. I don't dare say anything though or they'll have me running the show next year.
Last Saturday, was invited to go out with some folks to sample one of the $100 plate restaurants downtown. Pretty simple concept...minimally decorated beer hall that serves a variety of food dishes that cost $100 (US$3.50) along with a choice of fresh fish that they steam whole (costs a bit more than $100). Along the back wall are huge beer fridges where you go grab your own bottles (NT80/US$2.80 for a 750ml bottle) and just eat and booze the night away. In our party (of 9) was an executive chef at a local fancy hotel, and he selected the fish. You can kind of see the fish offerings in this photo.
We had some adventurous food orderers who chose some "treats" like steamed pork bellies, spicy fried cuttlefish, and BBQ squid along with some more familiar offerings like eggplant and tofu. The familiar things were good while I was mixed on the stuff outside of my comfort zone, but that is the fun of it, no? We all agreed to go with Taiwan Beer, which I've grown way to fond of. The 9 of us drank 43 bottles...just over two crates.
A highlight of the night was the balloon animal guy that came in and was gifted in the art of making erotic balloon art. Was too lit to remember to take snaps of the penis hat. But I was coherent enough to get a picture of the highlight of the evening (for me anyway)...the Taiwan Beer Girl.
Finally for this week, have to share some recent conversations with Carolyn (now age 10). She has a friend that she's been pretty tight with so far, and I asked her the other day if she wanted to invite her for a sleepover. She said that she hasn't been getting along great with her recently as this friend is getting into boys. Carolyn was feeling pressured by this girl to find a boy that she "liked". It was a nice moment that she still feels comfortable talking about this stuff with me, and hearing that her attitude was that she feels too young for that kind of thing. A couple days later, Care volunteers that she told this friend that there was a boy she kinda/sorta liked and that this friend immediately started "liking" this boy too. I have heard of this proclivity amongst some females, but the fact it is rearing its ugly head at 10 years old really grossed me out. So far, I like her attitude towards the whole situation but really fear for the peer pressure she is going to face for the next what...decade. Longer? I pray that we are instilling the right mind set that will allow her to cope with it successfully, but am open to any tips those of you with older daughters might want to share. The other morning, am on Skype with my buddy talking football when Paul wakes up and kinda joins the conversation. My buddy asks Paul (now age 14) if there are girls he likes and he says no. I say, what about that girl so and so I see you hanging around with sometimes, she looks cute, and Paul replies "yeah, but she is always depressed" and so is keeping his distance. So far so good with that one.
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