Saturday, December 15, 2018

December 15th, 2018

Hey there,

You know how proud I am of my alma mater American University...


Learned that not only Michael Cohen (pictured above in my graduating class' yearbook) is a proud AU Eagle alum, but the reason that Russian agent/spy Maria Butina came to the US was to get her masters at that fine institution.  Sad thing is those are hardly the sleaziest of people I knew there, just the most accomplished in their sleaziness..

It has been a while since I commented on the drivers here.  Don't worry, absolutely nothing has changed, it is just that I try not to repeat myself too often and if I were to detail all the new and frustrating acts of disrespect I see, would have to create a new space to share them and update it daily.  Pretty sure I have gone through the 5 stages of grief about the situation here and am now finally in the acceptance stage.  For example, yesterday I get to an intersection I cross a couple times a day.  It is a choke point, especially during rush hour where two major roads connect through some side streets.  You proceed down a one lane each way road in front of a hospital (where the old fellas get pushed out to the curb in their hospital gowns and oxygen tanks so they can have a smoke) and then splits into two at a T intersection with the left lane turning left and the right lane turning right.  If you go left, you go in front of an elementary school, and to the right is a facility that operates a clinic or something that handles kids with Down syndrome.  In other words, just an ordinary Taipei intersection.

I'm car number two going left waiting for the light and when it turns green, the guy in the left lane decides he wants to go right.  Am sure you know where this is going...the guy in the right lane simultaneously decides he wants to go left.  Hilarity ensues as they cannot figure how to resolve the situation as the clock runs out on the green and the rest of us are stuck through another cycle.  In the past, I woulda laid on the horn and screamed every obscenity in my arsenal, but this time I just sat there quietly watching them in wonder as you would the animals at the zoo.  Think I even chuckled to myself.  Progress?

If you wanna keep up with the lingo of today, and especially if you have kids and need to break the code, you need to put the Urban Dictionary on your favorites bar.  Was chatting with Babydoll the other day and referring to a girl we saw on the street she called her an ABG or Asian Baby Girl or aznbbygirl..  The Urban Dictionary definition of one of those...

An asian girl that spends her days hanging with gangsters and her nights partying and doing drugs. also wears makeup that makes them look like clowns. They also have big puffy hair.

You can go down a hole pretty fast on Urban Dictionary.  As part of the ABG definition, the word 'twitch' is listed.  'Twitch' can either be 'part twit and bitch" or two girls that are 'twin bitches'.  An 'Emily' is a girl that is dating the ex of her best friend.  I cannot get away with regularly using the lingo I learn in the company of my 15  year old and her friends, but when you can drop a word bomb on them at an appropriate point, the look on their faces is priceless.

Got some laughs/sideways looks  the other day when I was complaining about the hardships us white guys go through these days.  Heard a couple of Asian ladies talking about their ancestry and lamented that us white guys are not allowed to ask "what kind of Asian are you" any more.  Make Asians Great Again.

Last week in town before the break and the typical end of year shenanigans are happening.  We had our last Coffee Morning of the year and the topic was the history and current state of the Indigenous population of Taiwan.  We had a great speaker, a South African documentarian, come to give the talk and he was very even handed and sincere in his adoration of the indigenous peoples..  His very surprising take?  History shows the native population was decimated by hundreds of years of colonial expansion and attempts at 'civilizing' them, and that the current efforts to make amends are fraught with political, economic and racial issues that have so many actors and levels to make the problems impossible to rectify with any consensus.  Surprise!

I have been involved with another controversy that seems almost as problematic and intractable.  Was at my volunteer job answering the phones on Wednesday and went to the bathroom.  Did my business (number one) and washed my hands.  Grabbed a paper towel to dry them, walked out of the bathroom and deposited the paper towel into the recycle box.

The two colleagues that were there saw it and reprimanded me for doing so.  We then got into a 30 minute discussion on proper etiquette with my position being that the paper is proper to be recycled and that it wasn't soiled but just wet.  They acquiesced to my line of thought but were steadfast in their belief that it was still wrong.  I hate it when an dispute cannot be settled and will pursue it until agreement is found.  While I will argue my point with passion and conviction, I can be convinced and concede but only when a persuasive and empirical counterpoint is offered.  A couple nights later it was the company X-mas party and felt the need to reignite the debate with the entire crowd. Opinions were solidly mixed with some agreeing my point but most being disgusted by the act (of course they are disgusted by me in general rather than the act but expected that as it happens all the time).  One of the ladies teen aged son was listening in and this kid is one of those that is thoughtful and talkative.  Kind of annoying in a way to some cause kids should be seen and not heard but I welcomed his take which was that in Taiwan, the people that go through the recycling, which we all lump together, have to separate it into the various categories and that they get paid for what they bring in by weight.  He proposed that the paper towel was not something that they would be able to consolidate and benefit from and that it would compost itself both in the recycle area and trash heap equally making it more work to recycle rather than putting in the trash.  Am not certain that is all true, but he made a compelling and logical argument, rather than one based on faulty opinions about hygiene, and I conceded the point.

Allrighty then...we're off for the break and look forward to sharing some of the sights, sounds and yes, even the smells of our trip to the Isles.  Am a bit nervous going in as the Irish have always been a nemesis for me.  Am sure that I've documented my decades long issues with them that typically stem from me being a verbal fighter to them brandishing their knuckles early in any dispute.  Have tried to keep a positive mindset and reverse the mojo, but this week the place I booked us in Dublin for 4 nights back in September canceled on us, and two subsequent Air BnB's that we liked and were accepted in also canceled our bookings.  We now have place number four that seems OK and that is apparently secured, but it has been a hassle and a half (including an unresolved dispute where one of these fuckers is hanging on to a decent load of our cash) and I expect more rugs to be pulled.  I am really gonna try to not be my typical asshole self when  I'm there in hopes of making it out unscathed cause my Irish karma is in the shits.

As this is an even year, we're traveling with our Seattle mother/daughter duo this time.  Our first of these together was in 2012 and now two of the three kids are legal drinking age.  Looking forward to having some funny stories to share.  Was reminded of one of my favorites from our 2016 trip to Italy by seeing this series of articles on Vox Media about the US culture's obsession with "The Best".

I typically book the stuff on the itinerary but in 2016 for reasons I don't clearly recall but think it had to do with the ladies narrative that all of the tour guides I book are attractive women (untrue), the ladies booked a driving tour for us one day of the Amalfi coast.  They picked an Italian guy with great hair called Francesco.  Our day with him is well documented as he was a total d-bag, albeit with great hair, and he railed on the unsophistication of Americans in general...to a group of Americans.  One of his (many) talking points was how Americans always wanted to know what "the best" of anything was.  While it is somewhat true as this series of articles details, it is more a product of language and social media rather than some nefarious plot or how uncultured we are perceived.  At the end of the day as we are pulling back into our accomodation, I complimented Francesco in my most sarcastic way that he was "the best" tour guide we had ever had.

Have a great holiday and talk to you on the other side.



Saturday, December 8, 2018

December 8th, 2018

Hey there,

How are you doing?  It's been a while since I heard from/about you and miss you.  Why don't you shoot me a note or something with some gossip or funny story?

Here is what has been up with our mob recently.

Betty and I had the good fortune of attending the Bat Mitzvah of a friend's daughter a couple weeks ago.  As a fake Jew from way back, hard to believe that this was my first one.  In speaking to my Jewish acquaintances here over the years have heard that there is not a Temple to be found on the island, which isn't shocking but with 16 million souls in the immediate neighborhood, you'd think there would be something.  I gather that they will get together in hotels and such to commune with each other on holidays.  This event was held in an old American embassy residence in the mountains overlooking the city.

The ceremony was nice and the words they spoke meaningful.  Understand that it was a condensed version and there wasn't a rabbi or anything, which is probably a good thing.

 The many kids in attendance were dolled up and cute...not sure how much they took in spiritually but have to think it was a good experience.
During the party afterward, the 13 year olds played an updated version of a the classic spin the bottle.  They separated into two circles, boy and girl, and they had an app on the phone that simulated a bottle spinning in each.  Whichever two it pointed to in each would have to get up and hug each other while everyone else whooted and hollered.   Seemed relatively harmless and age appropriate, and as the girls are way more advanced physically than the boys at that age, was funny watching these awkward little boys hug the girls that were all a foot taller.  Us old people were mesmerized.

And we did the thing that is the Jews greatest contribution to the world...the Hava Nagila.  That is an interesting story about its origin, but it is the most visceral communal dance that there is in my opinion.  Having participated in many, and we did it at our wedding too, Betty and I helped organizing the circles to go in the right directions.  Pure joy...and puts the chicken dance/macarena/etc. to shame.

One follow up to a few postings back about Babydolls dance performance.  I wanted to wish her luck beforehand and knowing performers superstitious nature, was gonna say break a leg but immediately thought that doesn't make sense when talking to a dancer.  Looked it up and the thing to say to a dancer prior to a performance is merde (French for shit).  The origin of that unusual saying is that...

This term refers to the times when carriages would take the audience to the theatre. A quick look to the street in front of the venue would tell if the play was successful: a lot of horse dung would mean many carriages had stopped to leave spectators.

No gag, just thought it was interesting and you know I like to contemplate all things scatological.

Speaking of which, if you are interested in learning more about Islamic toilet etiquette, you can read it here.  Nothing too weird but no funny takeaways either.  Not eating while you use the bathroom would seem to be one that would help all religions find some common ground.  I wonder if they have updated guidelines for the use of cellphones?

And am sure you saw the article in the science journals you frequent about how you can now track fart development in real time on your phone.  One ingests an electronic capsule and it records the nature of the gases and microbes from entry to exit...all of which you can see in real time on your device of choice.  While it would be a fun parlour trick to break out at parties, the medical implications are immense.

It was Thanksgiving last week and we missed seeing the Boy again this year.  I know he didn't miss us as he traveled to SF and met up with all of his all Taiwan HS buddies for the weekend.

 8 of them flopped in some Air BnB and while I have no details of their exploits, can only imagine and am absolutely jealous of the smelly, disgustingly great time that they must have had together.
My eyes immediately went to the giant bags of Popeye's.  What I wouldn't give for some of those Cajun ragins' right now.

The girls and I went to the Philippines for the holiday.  Betty has had this place called El Nido in the Palawan island chain on her radar for some time and she booked us. It was truly gorgeous in a way that was unlike most of the other beach destinations we have experienced in our time.  In our 7 years in Asia, we've been to a beach place at least once and usually twice a year so feel we have a decent cross section of beachy places.  Palau is/was hands down our favorite as it had it all.  I wouldn't recommend any other and it is not that they don't have a certain beauty, but in every circumstance, the beaches and surrounding areas are littered with garbage.  Varying amounts but ever present...it is kind of a bummer and why go all that way and feel dirty.  This El Nido joint however was billed as being eco friendly and it lived up to the claims. As we were being welcomed at check in they gave us a bag for us to take our plastic that we used, like used sunscreen bottles, off the island and made a corny but lovely statement that while we were here to "take pictures and leave footprints".   I saw one plastic bag in the ocean during a snorkeling trip, which I grabbed and took on shore, and that was it for garbage the entire weekend.  Without dodging trash, was able to lift my eyes and see all the beauty that this chain of islands had to offer.

We got in mid-afternoon on Thanksgiving and we had that hard tropical thunderstorm that is awesome.  Was a little worried we'd get rained out the rest of the time.

But when the sun came up the following morning, we had this and it lasted all the way through.
 Our hotel was on a small island and in this area are a ton of other islands of varying size, but all really small and most without human settlement.  Betty and I jumped on an island hopping boat the first morning.  The first stop had a cool sand bar that connected two little islands with a little path to the top.
 Native to this region only was this carnivorous plant that can trap and digest insects.  Our dude said not far away was a bigger version that can devour small birds.
 You ever hear of a chocolate chip starfish.
 Another island had this cool cave that was hard for broken limbed me to get into, but well worth it.  Locals hid in the cave during WWII and they had found Neolithic remains here.

 And final stop was at Cathedral cave where the outrigger was able to pull into.


All were very nice but the real pleasure was being on the boat...waters were calm and scenery idyllic.  Best was that there were so few other boats or people to be seen, which is very rare.  Dangling my legs off the front of the boat with not a sole in sight...

The afternoon activity was kayaking into some lagoons and included another one of the awesome boat rides to the little hollows.  My back was telling me to take it easy and the kayak seemed like it wouldn't be a good activity so stayed on the boat while the girls went in.  They said everything was gorgeous but this was the one time where there were a couple of other boats and one of those was filled with the dreaded Chinese.

The girls got back and I asked how it was and the first thing out of Betty's mouth as she climbed on board was "fucking Chinese".  Seems they rowed into this serene little cove with no way out and the mainlanders all pulled in behind them and started ramming their boats while they yelled and sang songs.  

 Nothing tickles me more than Betty getting pissed off at the Chinese.

The funniest twist on that is that every time we go to the Philippines, all of the locals (and I do mean all) start talking to her in Tagalog thinking she is one of them. I heard her say at least 10 times this exact sentence..."I'm not Filipino.  I know you think I am but I'm not."   It used to bug her but she seems to have come to some internal peace with it now.  I think it is due to the fact that her 23 & Me profile came back showing she is 100% certified Chinese fresh.

I went on this kayak excursion mainly for the boat ride home that coincided with the sun going down.  Add in glorious colors to a serene boat ride and you got yourself nirvana.






We did an OK snorkeling thing the next morning where we saw a mess of sharks but sadly, no turtles.  Had some quality sit by the pool and read a book/nap time, long walk on the beach...if I had stress in my life, it would have evaporated.  Betty went for a hat making activity where she made this out of palm leaves.

 Her abilities doing arts and crafts has always been impressive and see her doing many in retirement as it seems to be good for her soul.
 I did look better in it however.
Look at the detail in the grasshopper and bird that went with it.  

One more thing about this place that has never been the case anywhere else...the food was very good.  We had char tay keow, paella, pork belly and the best damn burger I've had in a long time (outside of Red Mill of course)  Eating meals nightly outside with the moon in full...great


 The only hassle in this trip was that it takes nearly a full day to get there from home, and it really isn't that far.  Not sure how this got onto Betty's radar but she said that Bill Gates has brought his family here before, so maybe that way?  I have to assume that it was expensive and Betty said I didn't want to know what it cost, but if you are in the market for a destination that had it all, here is their info.


As we had some quality family time together, we had some interesting conversations.  Costco features in many of those and we got on the topic one night after seeing that Costco US was offering the full leg of Spanish Iberico ham on line this Thanksgiving.  We saw them in their store in Madrid last January and while we would have little use personally, they are so beautiful.  



Betty then shared some of the "43 hilarious tweets that sum up shopping at Costco" that she saw on HuffPo.  I maybe snorted at one of them, but hilarious?  She will start to tell people one and not be able to finish cause she is laughing so hard.  Check it out and if you think that 3 of them are remotely funny, I will admit I was wrong.  I have to be careful because humor is a personal taste and there is no wrong answer.

Far more interesting was her explanation as to why eggs are refrigerated in the States but in few places elsewhere.  If you are interested in the technical terms, this article has them.  As it was explained to us over breakfast, the egg comes from the chicken from the same hole that it poops so fecal matter is present.  Should you wash off the fecal matter, it also takes off a protective membrane found on the egg and once that is gone, the only way to keep it fresh and safe from other diseases entering it is to refrigerate.  The eggs will last just as long unrefrigerated/unwashed as they do cleaned and cold and that article states that the amount of reported cases of salmonella and other things is lower in Europe than in the states suggesting that keeping the membrane on is slightly more effective.  This came up as I have been buying our eggs lately from the farmer's stall at the local market and Betty said that I have to wash them because of this stuff she learned going to the farms and am happy to do so.  Now you know.

We got a new security guard in our building recently.  A young lady (of 26) with braces and bright red lipstick.  Some would call her attractive, which is  a departure from all the other guards that are old and frumpy and dudes.  A refreshing change to be sure.  A couple of days into her tenure here, noticed that she was really bubbly in saying hello to me but not as much to the other tenants.  The elevator doors have a reflective metal and while they aren't mirrors, you can see a decent reflection...like this.

I get back from a long walk on a hot day recently and am pretty sweaty.  My shirt is all wet and clingy (you get the picture)  and as I am waiting for the elevator to come down, can see the new guard checking me out in the reflection.  In the basement is the main guard shack and in it is the bank of screens that monitor the security cameras throughout the building and there are a lot.  She is down in that office a few days later and as I am going up to our apartment, I can literally feel her eyes watching me.  Made me self conscious to not do my usual elevator move of rearranging my nut sack.

I am not saying that all women have this infatuation, or even most, but it happens.  Women can't understand the significance of  this cause guys are checking you out all the time and am sure it is creepy a lot of the time, but us dudes, especially ones that don't have 'classic' good looks, these wins make you feel good.

The truth is, none of these things probably don't happen in the way I interpret, but believing that they do is powerful.  I can't find it but recall hearing an interview with (former MLB slugger) Jason Giambi, or maybe it was his brother Jeremy, and he said that he and some of his Oakland A's teammates would like their pants tight cause they felt the women in the stands were checking them out and that it made them feel sexy/confident when going up to bat.  Point is, self confidence is all in the mind and having none (or too much for that matter) can be destructive.   As a society, we talk a lot about why people are homeless, shoot up yoga studios or leave their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle at a 45 degree angle while they go grab samples at the Costco as being a mental health issue.  I understand that there are chemical imbalances in many people, but that a lot/most of the problems these folks have could be muted if they could find a sense of self worth.  I am going to make it one of my resolutions to build people up in 2019.  

Had the very good fortune of catching a great show here last week....legendary Japanese band Acid Mothers Temple. In talking to a buddy that wrote for an English language paper on entertainment in Japan years ago about my  trip there to see Yo La Tengo and the local guests they had on stage, he told me of his favorite bands he saw when living there and mentioned Acid Mothers as his favorite.   favorites.  In a moment of serendipity, simultaneously saw that group announce a show in town at a cool little club,  so some like minded fellas and I got tix.

Listening to their stuff in advance of the show, it is a hard listen.  Prog and metal are terms that came to mind and those aren't genres that I typically like, but in this town, you have to stretch your comfort zone and off we went.

Holy shit...we all had our minds blown.  Solid playing all around, visually arresting, driving tempos from start to finish and the guitarist, Kawabata Makoto, shredded all night long and administered heavy doses of the kind of feedback that I love.  




At the end of the show, Mr Makoto really lashed out.  I've seen guitarists make noise with their instrument in so many ways, but saw a new one this night.  Dude was swinging it around and it was glorious, he then put it up to the monitors hanging above the stage for more feedback, hung it on the monitor and walked offstage leaving it ringing for all of us to enjoy.  Yum.  They play a ton and noticed them playing at the tiny Sunset Tavern in Seattle on April 1st and if you want to see a great show, there you go.

Allrighty...getting close to the end of the year and our travel season kicks in hard.  In less than two weeks we leave for Dublin/Edinburgh/London for the two week X-mas break with not only the whole family, but our extended family/travel partners in tow.  The first of February will find me and the girls in NZ for 9ish days.  Mentioned that we were considering an RV cause that seems to be the way to go there, but were reluctant to do so for a variety of reasons.  We ultimately decided that you need to try everything once and booked our rig last week and are now super excited to hit the open road.  Finally, for Spring Break in March, Betty booked us for a week run in Myanmar.  Am sure that will be interesting but have mixed feelings about going...it's gonna be hot and there is that genocide thing.  
Look forward to recapping it all with y'all


Saturday, December 1, 2018

November 30th, 2018

Hey there,

Have a bunch of stuff to share so am gonna break it into two parts.  Next week will be personal and will limit this week to Taiwan in the news.

First up, Taiwan ranked #1 for expat quality of life.  It is always placed high on these rankings but 2018 marked the first time at number one.  Taiwan ranked in the top 3 for all metrics researched, which include accessibility to medical care and its quality, public transportation, housing affordability, the friendliness of the population both towards each other and to foreigners, and general safety.  I will bash on this place from time to time but it is coming from a place of love in that I want them to be even better.  If I were to simply dismiss them as a lost cause, what would that say?  I could not agree more with the findings about these indices and they are lucky that deliciousness of food, weather in the summertime and assholishness of the drivers were not measured.  We've seen a lot of places and while I would likely feel more comfortable amongst my own people and speaking in English, feel pretty damn lucky that we ended up in this little corner of the world.

In another piece of public transportation news, saw this article last month but filed it away incorrectly and just came across it...Rats on a train!  Pretty straight forward...a rat got onto a subway car and people flipped.  Once a few people started running for the next car, a lot more people thought it was a violent attacker like the dude who took an axe to fellow passengers a year or so ago and the stampede was on.  I would have imagined seeing a lot more rats about town than I do, but saw way more in Seattle regularly.  And if a rat got on the subway in NYC, he would have taken a seat, manspread and told his fellow commuters to fuck off.  A bunch of minor injuries resulted from this incident  and not that funny an article, especially when compared to the last installment today, but the aftermath photo is interesting, especially with the happy face over the face of the guy standing in the car.



A  big election occurred here last weekend and the KMT took it to the DPP in a big way.  Broadly described for non-Taiwanese readers, I equate the KMT to the GOP and DPP to the Dems...KMT has an older, rural  and more conservative contingent while the DPP is younger and liberal.  There were also 9 referendums on the ballot this year and the ones that were familiar to me and best frames the cultural divide here concerned the legalization of same sex marriage.  That article breaks down the demographics of who voted for it and why it failed and you could overlay it with the way the States divides itself on this and similar issues.  There are also reports that evangelical groups from the U.S. invested significant amounts of money here on the "No" campaign.  Ick.  The 9 referendums confused the Taiwan voters that I talked to and in reading this wikipedia recap can see why.  I waver between whether these questions should be decided by the politicians, who are possibly being purchased, or the populace who are easily swayed and mostly ignorant.  Think the politicians like them cause they don't have to stick their neck out on an issue and be voted out in the next wave.

I would not begin to say I understand any nuance to the positions on the economy or local issues but the one that stands out that I do get is that the KMT are less anxious to declare independence from China while many on the DPP side are clamoring for it. I disagree that the KMT wants to reunify today but that is how some would spin it.   I'd love for Taiwan to go whole hog for independence just to stick it to the Chinese but realize that kicking the can down the road is probably the better strategy.  China will never lay off the pressure but they apply less overtly when the KMT is in control.  The concern would be that the KMT allows China more soft influence on the island that will be hard to extricate from, but 30 years down the road, there will be few that think that reunifying with China is anything short of suicide.  And 30 years is a long time.

I don't get to vote but if I did, mine would be based solely on the banners of the candidates.  Indicated a couple of times ago that I was take a mess of photos and do a comprehensive guide to the election but failed on that and all I did was walk to school one day and take a few.  

We've been through several election cycles and the most popular pose in each was the candidate making a fist in an "I'll fight for you" pose.  'Taiwanese candidate' is the second best impression that I do after nerdy sexy librarian...ask for them next time I see you.  

This lady put on the boxing gloves do demonstrate her tenacity.

 And who isn't gonna vote for the fighting doctor?



Election season is one of the few times I lament not being able to read Mandarin.  Would love to know what this power couple are up to.  My guess is she is explaining it to him again.
 I do know that demonic beady eye chef won again.
 The default attire for the male candidates this year is the casual white t-shirt under a blazer.
New this year were those candidates trying to show you how normal and caring they were by highlighting how much their dogs loved them.  Blondi loved Hitler too.  



One very good thing about Taiwan is the high participation rate of women in politics (and society in general).  It seems that there is some requirement that the length of their hair be past the ear but not to the shoulder.

In addition to the passive banners, the in your face stuff seemed to be more popular this year.  In the two weeks leading up to election day, you could hear trucks and scooters driving around with megaphones blaring the bona fides of the candidates continuously, and I cannot understate continuously enough,  from 9am to 9pm.  

 Groups would line major intersections about town for hours holding up signs.  Wonder if these folks are getting paid or if they are simply passionate about the process.  Regardless, watching democracy in action is electrifying.
While I would hardly be swayed by a megaphone blaring scooter, my vote could be bought by just the right give away.  Tissues seemed to be the most popular cause the Taiwanese love themselves free tissues.  I have become a free tissue addict over the years too and when I'd see the candidates and their entourages giving them away, would casually walk past them hoping to snag one but they accurately racially profiled me as being unable to vote and would never offer to me.  Betty on the other hand did get some and hope this guy won in a landslide.

As Stefon from SNL might say, this tissue bag has everything...clean white shirt with no tie under a sharp blazer, 'fighting for you' stance and even the most powerful campaign message....a fighting monkey.  Good on you Taiwan...let freedom reign.

Finally, and most importantly, here is some breaking very local news that has to be shared.  The writing in this article is just great...the headline is 'Taiwanese man tosses semen on Japanese woman in Taipei' with the tag line 'Taiwanese man in a load of trouble..."  This incident occurred right around the corner from our place and across the street from the kids school.

Before continuing, have to say that I am not making fun of this crime.  Men are sick...all of them to some degree.  That means you, me, your dad/son/spouse and every dude you see.  How do I rate on the scale of perviness?  I cannot judge myself but like to think that I have done right by the ladies overall and like my chances on this test on judgment day.  Will reflect a bit deeper on my perv scale next time as there are a couple of recent anecdotes to put under the examination light, but in the last couple of months have come across a couple of women that proudly declared they were not feminists.  It was their position that the women coming out in the MeToo era were mostly liars that are out to get the men or in it for the money.  In both cases the group of people that heard these ladies cast doubt on most women's stories of abuse mouths just hung open and no one was willing to engage.   I suspect these ladies lean hard on the anti-PC scale and so dismiss it cause that is what their team is telling them, but know in their hearts it is mostly true.   Are there some women that would falsely accuse a man?  Of course, and they should be tried accordingly.   But c'mon, guys shooting up their exes, slapping around their ladies, etc. etc. etc. etc. is in the news everyday everywhere.  When I hear women not supporting other women like this, my heart sinks.

That said...I am going to now make some nasty and inappropriate comments about that article which deserves to be read in its entirety.  Since I know some are understandably reluctant to click on links, will share the highlights.  My comments in (brackets).

The man "injected his own semen into a small box" (injected or ejaculated?) snuck up behind her and tossed it "onto her left hand".  When she got home, "she discovered that the substance had the odor of semen (it's hot that she immediately knew the smell)  and her hand began to become inflamed and swell." (I don't know about you, but for me the inflaming and swelling usually happens before injection)  "She angrily told her husband" (I assumed it would be angrily but wonder how else could she have told her husband?  Matter of factly? Sexily? In a husky voice? Are letters to Penthouse magazine still a thing?)  and they went to the cops who "initially blew off her claims (smelling a Pulitzer for that one) and did not file a report on the standard three sheet notebook." (Oh no, not the standard three sheet notebook...)

The victim persisted and as is the way things run here they reviewed the footage, there is always footage in Taiwan, and they tracked the perp down and made the arrest.  He "confessed to his vile crime" and said that  "he had been watching Japanese pornographic videos which depicted similar acts and he enjoyed watching the shocked reaction of women when he hurled his semen on them." (Please site the web address?  Cannot think it is a coincidence that the Japanese and Germans are the most openly deviant in their porn and thought there has to be some study as to why.  Here is a tip...do not look up 'Japanese/German deviant porn' on your work computer ) The man said that "when he felt a lot of pressure, he would release it by tossing semen on unsuspecting women as they walked by." (think they missed reporting a step between pressure and release)   He claimed that "the liquid was not harmful as it was 'pure' semen and he did not add any other materials."

Tah dah.