Welcome to my diary...the goal is to share with you the sights, sounds, and yes, even the smells of what it's like to be an Imbrogulio in a foreign land.
Before getting into the big news of the week, here is a tasty story from the Taiwan News...Taiwan police find stolen scooter after 26 years. Pretty straight up reporting, but what caught my attention was that the woman who had her scooter returned thanked the officers that found it by buying them "crisp butter biscuits, a Dajia delicacy". I find it adorable that they include that fact in the article, and also need to get me some Dajia butter biscuits (as soon as I figure out where Dajia is) .
Have deservedly been touting how fortunate we are to be in Taiwan, especially this year, and so share this article from a writer for Bloomberg titled My Unusually Normal Life in Taiwan Amid the Global Pandemic. He hits on all of the things I have been relating in a professional journalist way and lays out plainly what real freedom looks like. On the heels of that article was this one that compares death rates from the virus to the US. In the Scandinavian countries, it is 10 times less while S. Korea, Liberia and Hong Kong are 60 times less. New Zealand was second best at 200 times less likely, but number one with a bell curve smashing 3,400 times less is good ol' Taiwan.
OK then...the big news is that yours truly has booked knee replacement surgery. Doing the right one on January 19th and if everything goes smoothly, lefty in April/May. Why now? First of all, it was time. I don't have the dates, but roughly 15 years ago and after 6 knee procedures, the doctor said that I'd need two new ones but that I should wait as long as possible. The reason was that the artificial knees only last so long and he gave some times like a device in a 70 year old person lasts 20 years while a 50 year old lasts 8 years on average. And that the replacement's replacement lasts only half as long as that, so it would behoove me to wait as long as I could stand it.
While the deterioration and pain level has increased over that time, it wasn't all at once and so I had just gotten used to it I suppose. Really, I wondered if it was truly bad or if I had a low pain tolerance and I tried to never complain. To quote one of Tommy Lasorda's favorite lines; never complain about your problems cause 98% of people don't care and the other 2% will be glad you have them. I usually only talked about it when someone saw me moving awkwardly and asked if I was OK.
I'm 55 now and agreed with my US doctor that it was time and had summer appointments scheduled with all the Seattle orthopedists, but those plans were obviously cancelled. People would ask me why I didn't do it here and answered with all the things you'd expect. Comfort with my own doctor, one that could speak English fluently, fear of universal health care and others I am forgetting. My guard has been dropping recently as my faith in the local way of doing things has been rising, and it is to the point where I see a curb coming up that I have to climb and dread the pain. We went to a Christmas party and I got up after dinner in my usual ugly way and this lady we know who has had some knee work done took notice. A week or so later she sends me a note saying she made me an appointment with her doctor, that she'd take me down and help with the language and that I could not say no. After a few hours of trying to think of ways to say no, I couldn't come up with any that were plausible.
This lady runs an antique concern here so will call her Antique Lady. She, Betty and I go for a 9:30 appointment last Monday. Have been to these hospital things here a few times and they all sorta look and operate the same. At first glance, there are a ton of people waiting and it gives off an appearance of chaos. It also doesn't feel as clean as Swedish Orthopedic Associates, which probably adds to my apprehension about doing anything medically related here. We wait 5-10 minutes and go into a smaller room where a 1/2 dozen of this particular doctor patients are waiting. Some are there for post-op check-ups, which we could tell by the 8 inch scars running down the front of their knees.
After a few minutes in there, the doc comes up and he asks a couple questions (in good English) and then sends me to x-ray. I know I am a soft Westerner when I laugh at the machines. I'm used to these gleaming ones that look like they came off of the Siemens factory floor the week before while the ones in here are vintage and think Trapper John and Hawkeye would look askance at them.
We go back to the doctor and wait for 10 minutes and go into his office where he brings up the x-rays.
Healthy knees should have a nice gap between the bones where cartilage cushions them, and you can see that on the outside of both that it is bone on bone. The little post-it note things are from previous surgeries. Apparently, there is no question in the doctors mind that these are candidates to go and he identified me as having stage 4 (of 4) arthritis. I did feel a little relief in being told that they are as bad as they feel and that not only am I not a wuss, but have suffered in heroic silence for decades. We have a 5 minute back and forth to answer some of our questions. I ask if they ever do two at the same time. Yes, but that he doesn't do them if the patient is one of two types of people; over 70 and Caucasians, with the reason being that they are more susceptible to having pulmonary embolisms. I appreciate him worrying about my (very white) whiteness, but his bluntness in stating the obvious that a major surgery could end catastrophically could use some sanding off the edges.
Another thing that came out of this meeting is that he has to order an XL knee that isn't normally on hand cause Caucasians have bigger bones in general. Yeah we do. I'm as comfortable with this as I'm gonna be and opt to have it done as soon as possible. The deal is to go in the night before and then stay for three more nights. They plan to have me putting weight on it that day, will have to use a walker for up to two weeks and then if all goes well rehabbing it, can do the other one 3 months later. I am fully aware that shit happens, but maybe when you see me this summer, I'll be a 1/2 inch taller and ready to kick your ass.
The last step was to go to the billing department. This is the part where they don't speak English, but I have two fierce women with me that do. Really, I didn't need to be in this meeting at all cause they all talked to each other and only looked at me occasionally in that way they do where they are saying something bad and look out of the corners of their eyes to see if I understood and was insulted.
With National Health Insurance, the procedure would total NT20,000 (US$700). Apparently that is for the used rusty knee cause then came the upgrades/add-ons. I have the brochures but have zero idea what they include...better shocks and struts I presume. I did understand that we can pay to get into a double room instead of a 4 person one for another US$100. Anyhoo, the final out of pocket cost off the showroom floor with all the bells and whistles is NT142,000 (about US$5,000), which we should be able to recoup a decent percentage of with our US health insurance. Seems cheap, no?
That's the skinny. If you think of something I should be asking, feel free to share, but appreciate you keeping any comments that would make me nervous to yourself as I am plenty of that already. Look forward to sharing my new giant scar(s) with you this summer.
There is a saying that goes 'one death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic'. Yesterday, Taiwan announced its first case of locally transmitted Covid in 253 days. That articles says it was a pilot of New Zealand nationality breaking his quarantine and lists stores he visited while possibly infectious. Costco of course, and two department stores in our neighborhood are on the list. What the article doesn't say was filled in by the rumor mill almost immediately. Betty is tuned into it way more than me and she says that this guy is a New Zealander of Iranian heritage, which of course makes him 10 times more ominous, and that he has been uncooperative with authorities cause he broke quarantine to step out on his wife, with the mistress being the person he transmitted the virus to. Ouch.
It might be hard to imagine, but the entire country is freaking the fuck out. I was out with a couple of relatively sensible American guys a couple days before this story broke and they are both convinced that Taiwan is lousy with the virus but it isn't being reported cause of some cover-up or that the locals have an immunity of some kind. Lemme tell you, I have had it with all conspiracy bullshit and have no idea what to do about it. We'll see what happens but people are talking about stricter distancing measures being put into place as early as today.
I was out with those guys cause we went to see a show by local faves of mine 88 Balaz. Went into detail about them and a show we went to a couple months ago, but cannot tell you how fortunate I feel being able to get into a dark club and have my ears pummeled.
First band was called Shoot Up and they put on a decent high energy ska set.
88 Balaz is a tight professional unit.
I was up front by the speaker doing a bit of moshing and my buddy took this great snap from his vantage point.
It has been nice to have The Boy back in the house. We're going on a trip down south the first week of the new year and are just hanging out, working on jigsaw puzzles, going to the dentist and such. The Boy and Babydoll took a cooking class together and learned how to make some local specialties including homemade bubble tea. I only mention it to share the pictures the place took of them.
Betty bought a mini Christmas Tree and we thought that we should get presents for each other. We've never been in Taiwan for this holiday and so never got a tree, and haven't exchanged presents since 2011. Haven't really missed it and don't want to get into the conspicuous consumption game again, so we decided to do all of our shopping at the 'crap shack'. They have these stores that sell everything as long as it is of low quality and price. A glorified dollar store if you will. Have to say that I am looking forward to making breakfast and opening gifts in our pajamas. May even turn on some Christmas music.
A couple quick local news follow-ups. First, Iguanazilla! A 6 foot long iguana 'scared' a local woman (it woulda startled me too) and has been 'arrested and brought to justice'. It was later euthanized and thus ended the 'Pintung dinosaur rebellion'. That poor beautiful creature was just trying to live its best life man. It says the iguanas are a nuisance as they have no natural enemies, but I can think of one.
In other news, wish I had gotten wind about this event beforehand so I coulda gone and identified some people, but the Epoch Times helped organize a Stop The Steal rally right here in Taipei. Noted international religious nut job purveyors of conspiracy theories the Epoch Times teamed up with noted local religious nut job purveyors of conspiracy theories the Falun Gong for heaping bowlful of crazy. Expats and local idiots united to pledge fealty to the conman and freedom or something. You could only tell that the rally was held here instead of Georgia by the wearing of masks.
Finally for today, sharing this opinion piece from the NY Times with the title; Pound for Pound, Taiwan is the most important place in the world. It details how Taiwan positioned itself to be an essential piece in the global chain of technology by investing in microchip infrastructure. I remember when Made in Taiwan equated to cheap t-shirts.
Before we get into it, had a realization for y'all and while it isn't great news, thought you should know. I really hate being a dire predictor of negative thoughts, but see and hear a lot of people looking forward to 2021 and a change to the Earth's karma. That is not gonna happen on January 1st and here is why. While January was pretty sucky in 2020, and the virus originated sometime in late 2019, it really didn't hit the global fan until February, right around Chinese New Year. As the virus' origin is Chinese, I am certain that the karmic change will not occur until February 12th when the Chinese New Year changes from the stinky rat to the delicious cow. Still pretty close, and one would think that with vaccines being administered now and a new administration coming in on the 20th of January, that the first of the month would be safe, but the vision I had was of a lot of people being 'affected' by the raging virus, and what some element of whatever these Q cultists will do based on their fever dreams about their savior, the 6 weeks are still gonna suck hard and I beg my friends and loved ones to keep their heads down and hearts open until then.
The Boy finished his quarantine last Wednesday. He only opened the door to his studio apartment to bring the food we dropped off in and put empty bags out for us. The government texted him twice a day asking him to rate his health...1 was fine, 2 was feeling ill and 3 was having symptoms, and he received a call from the CDC every other day or so asking how he felt and what his temperature was. A few days before his time was to end, the cops showed up, but since his apartment needed keys to get past the gate and then main door, and he didn't dare step out to open those, they went away. They came back the day before his quarantine was to end with a better plan apparently as he told us there was a knock on the door and there they were. They asked the same stuff and went away. We were kinda surprised they didn't administer a test, but at this point we trust their analysis of situations.
We were talking in the car one day and the subject turned to mask wearing and I was curious about what he sees in the States. He says that most people have them on but that a ton of those are the under nose/chin. He hasn't seen any of the 'mask as tyranny' yahoos, but a lot of passive resistance. I tell him to look out the window at the people walking on the street. It is morning rush hour and there are a couple/three dozen people walking in view and at least 2/3 of them have masks on. No local transmissions in almost 8 months but still extreme vigilance. Will ask him his impressions at the end of his stay in January.
The big news around here is that we got another first down in our parenting football drive. Have been working on this metaphor for a while and can't seem to get anyone else on board as I don't think there are many people as die hard a football guy as myself, but it works so well. In short, raising a kid is like a football drive. The kickoff is the birth. Most folks start at the 25, but some kids are born with issues and so they get backed up. A touchdown is when your kid graduates from whatever school level they ultimately reach and get a job that puts them on their own. Only then can you spike the ball. Sometimes you get big gains early, but the last 20 yards is the hardest. Some kids grind it out early in the drive and get in gear later. There are penalties that push you back and sometimes plays result in a loss of yards. Any success or failure can be measured in this metaphor.
Babydoll just got a chunk play first down putting her in field goal range. This week, she was accepted via early decision into her school of choice...University of Virginia. Yes, that is the same school that her brother is attending and is on schedule to graduate in May '21. She withdrew her applications for the other schools as if you submit for early decision and are accepted, it is binding that you attend that school. We are quite happy with UVA based on The Boy's experience and that it means regular trips to DC for us,, but I was (not so) secretly hoping for any of the other ones to be the choice. We'll never know if they were possible now, but in consideration were Tulane (food and music), Vanderbilt (same, especially hot chicken) and UNC (their baby blue looks great on me plus The Boy will be 10 miles away). And she tells me a few days before all of this that if she didn't get into those, that she was still gonna apply to schools in Melbourne, which was my dream.
The Boy was puffing himself up saying that his sister copied him, and Betty and I were somewhat surprised that was her first choice, but her familiarity with the place through her brother, that it has weather, but not the extreme kind, that it is well respected in the areas of study she intends to pursue, and that it has the college town rah-rah experience she was looking for , it made all the sense. The kids roads to going there were as close to opposite as they could be; The Boy took little time thinking about where he wanted to go and didn't even remember applying to UVA and sent his applications at the 11th hour, while B-doll has been mulling it over for more than a year, submitting her apps as early as possible, etc, so it is funny that all roads led to Charlottesville for both.
It is good having the Boy in town as it is really the first extended period of time we have seen him since 2017 and can see how he has evolved. Or devolved. Seems like a decent dude and I can still see a ton of his parents in his mannerisms with the most noteworthy that he has become an avid napper. It should be no surprise that he is a polyphasic sleeper as both Betty and I enjoy/require a nap each day. In the nature v nurture debate, based on my personal experience, it is a solid 35 nature/65 nurture. I say that based on watching the other child. She has little of Betty's or my weird habits but plenty of her own that could only come from DNA. Like she has still never burped. Ever. Not once. We all walk around oozing burps like human bagpipes. I think it is most pronounced in her handwriting...pretty sure I've shared an example before, but it could be confused with something printed off a typewriter and in a tiny font. It's almost looks pathological in nature and would be easily confused with a crazy persons manifesto. In my retelling of this story to people, this is where I would get a little horror movie and say in a hushed tone that she is adopted and doesn't have a belly button. I do get a few "really"s before they realize that it a bit, but can tell they are still not 100% sure.
Allrighty then. Didn't see any fun local news articles to share this week. There was one yesterday about a rookie policeman being hailed as a hero for saving a kitten that was abandoned and stuck in the middle of the freeway, but did not come with the funny writing or insight. I will share this article with the headline: Taiwan rated only country in Asia with open civic space in 2020.
In its annual report titled "People Power Under Attack 2020," Civicus Monitor wrote that amid the coronavirus pandemic, civic space has declined across the globe, with only 3.4 percent of people living in an open society. In the 25 countries listed in the Asia Pacific region, only Taiwan has been rated as truly open.
The report assesses the civic space of various countries from the perspectives of the freedoms of association, peaceful assembly, and expression. Each country is rated as falling into one of five categories: “open”, “narrowed,” “obstructed,” “repressed,” and “closed.”
In the Asia Pacific, four countries — China, Laos, North Korea, and Vietnam — were rated as closed. Nine were listed as repressed, nine as obstructed, and only Taiwan was deemed to be open.
Under the section "Positive Developments," Taiwan was listed for having hosted one of the few Pride marches seen in 2020, with the LGBTQI+ community "visibly asserting their rights."
The Philippines was the only country in the region to be downgraded from obstructed to repressed "owing to its decline in fundamental freedoms." The report cited the shutdown of ABS-CBN; conviction of journalist Maria Ressa; imprisonment of Senator Leila De Lima; and attacks, murders, and harassment of human rights defenders as reasons for the downgrade.
However, the report also pointed out that Taiwan’s legislative amendments directed at combating misinformation raise concerns about the right to freedom of expression. Civicus Monitor also expressed concern that Taiwan's Assembly and Parade Act "continues to disproportionately restrict people’s right to hold peaceful assemblies."
It doesn't say in this article that the States was downgraded from 'open' to narrowed', and I would have thought that S. Korea or Japan would have been in the open category. Anyhoo...one more notch in Taiwan's lipstick case (for you Benatar fans).
Today was gonna all be about Taiwan's animal kingdom, but want to share a little bit about a party first. Consider this a tale from the other side of the plague.
To make a long story a bit shorter, Betty used to be involved with a Latina wives club but fell out of contact as she couldn't go to their stuff as she traveled so much and worked the rest of the time. Since there is no travel, she reunited with them a couple weeks ago and met some Argentine ladies, and from that we got invited to the Argentine Christmas party last Sunday.
This thing was amazing...about 30 folks, all speaking that certain brand of Argentine Spanish called Castellano, which is extra passionate and flowery. The food was all the treats from Buenos Aires we miss. The names are familiar (chorizo, milanesa, empanadas) but were done in typical porteno style and I ate so much that I was physically ill. The host, who I was led to believe is the equivalent of the ambassador, invited a musician to play sad Tango accordion. A couple of folks started talking to me in Castellano before realizing I have a bad Mexican Spanish accent and wasn't one of them, but paid me the ultimate compliment (to them) that I looked Argentine. I am Italian/German and you know they invited a bunch of Germans in the country in the mid 1940's, so it makes some sense. Everyone kisses each other hello and goodby and it is amazing that there was not a shred of fear or hesitation in Taiwan in December of 2020.
A quality night for me, but very special for Betty as she loves herself all things Argentina. We're walking home and she says in a tone that I only hear when she has her Spanish brain activated..."weren't those people just lovely?" Takes more than a big belly full of empanada for me to join her ebullience and reply with, "yeah, for a bunch of Mexicans.". She adds that it is nice to be out with folks here that don't talk obsessively about their workout regime. Truth. Cannot tell you how many conversations I have to excuse myself from with dudes detailing their bike ride or some dumb ass mega run they are training for. Are those conversations for them or for me...pure torture. One of the many reasons I always prefer to chat with the ladies at all times.
Allrighty...wacky Taiwan creature time. First off is this article detailing a Horde of earthworms scare in eastern Taiwan. That picture is kind cool, showing a running track completely covered in earthworms, but as always, it is the writing that sets this news apart.
The uncanny scene raised concern among the superstitious. Some residents worried it was an omen of a natural disaster or some other catastrophe, while others considered it merely the result of the heavy rain from the typhoon that swept past the southern tip of Taiwan last week.
I love how they equate people predicting disaster to others considering it merely the result of heavy rain. If you thought that believing crazy shit as truth was limited to your country...
Another one that popped up recently stated that Eating green iguanas legal in Taiwan. These dinosaurs are invading irrigation systems and causing all sorts of havoc and there is a bounty on their heads...in 9 months, they have paid out on 5,500 hides. They do not recommend that you eat them, cause they have parasites, confirmed it is not illegal to do so. The telling line is that experts don't want people making them a "gourmet delicacy" cause you know that's next.
A police officer on Saturday (Dec. 5) was attacked by an Asian giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia), which bit into his ear before he was able to kill the murderous marauder.
While patrolling the Dajia River Power Plant in Taichung City's Heping District at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning, Chang Wen-yung (張文勇), 51, came upon an Asian giant hornet, known in Taiwan as a “tiger head bee” (虎頭蜂), which suddenly landed on his left ear — its venomous stinger positioned precariously close to his temple.
According to his account of the harrowing encounter posted on Facebook on Sunday (Dec. 6), Chang wrote that he could hear the buzzing sound of the hornet but he dared not swipe or bat his ear as he feared this would provoke the insect to begin relentlessly stinging him. He said the creature then began to chew into the cartilage next to his ear canal.
He wrote that he walked into a bathroom in order to get a better look at where the beast was positioned. The hulking Hymenoptera continued to chomp on his ear for approximately five minutes as Chang calmly recorded the assault with his smartphone.
Finally, the aggressive arthropod flew away from his ear, and Chang quickly slammed the bathroom door shut to trap it inside. He then grabbed a towel and used it to whip the vicious Vespidae to pieces.
Chang said that the hornet had chewed off a small chunk of his ear, causing it to bleed. Fortunately, he was not stung by the venomous insect and therefore did not seek medical attention.
He wrote that this was the first time he had been attacked by a hornet since being transferred to the facility in July of this year.
The Miaoli County Fire Department pointed out that the hornets are attracted to flowers and plants with bright colors and strong fragrances, reminding people who travel to mountainous areas to avoid wearing brightly colored clothing and perfume, reported EBC. In the event of encountering an Asian giant hornet hovering nearby, the fire department advises people not to try to hit it, but instead to stay calm and carefully walk away.
Jeez...those photos. This author hilariously described the hornet as The Murderous Marauder, The Hulking Hymenoptera, and the Aggressive Arthropod. He has to be a big wrestling fan cause those are awesome nicknames.
Never heard of the Tiger Head Bee or Asian giant hornet, but research confirms that friends in the States will know them as the freaking Murder Hornet that was just found in Washington State. The article made it sound as if the venom would kill you, but apparently you'd need to get stung a dozen times and then would die from kidney failure, so no 100 steps. What is 100 steps? A friend was telling us last week about some snake on this death trap of an island whose bite will kill you within 100 steps. I kid you not.
I left you last time talking about the protests against the importation of U.S. pork into Taiwan. Those protests didn't just stop on the streets and last week saw a full scale food fight in the Taiwanese parliament. The party protesting the importation brought trays of pig innards into the chamber and started chucking them at the opposition. And then the fisticuffs ensued. If you don't want to click on my link, just type in Taiwan pig guts into YouTube and you'll get all kinds of hits.
The ease and comfort all of the participants have in handling raw pig organs is beautiful and sexy. I'd give anything to see Mitch get a face full of pig guts. I remember TV clips from the 80's that had Taiwanese politicians fighting in the parliament, but thought they had evolved. In the search for the pig guts fight, see that it is still happens with decent frequency. Here is another recent one where they had a water balloon/chair throwing fight from 2017.
Also following up from last week, the government has announced they are going to start cracking down on tailgaters. This is long overdue...I detailed these monsters in my driving recap a month or so ago. The Transportation minister,
"pointed out that malicious tailgating threatens the safety of others and that he witnesses such behavior on a regular basis. He said it is a sign of poor driving culture and that complete reform is necessary."
Have to give this place credit for recognizing their shortcomings and taking this stuff on. Maybe they have been reading my 9 year long diatribe?
And to continue the thread about Taiwan feeling neglected and alone in the world, two stories came out this week that demonstrate that. Today, there are rumors out of Japanese media sources saying that 45 may visit Taiwan before leaving office. The author says that 45 wants to complete all "unfinished promises" before January 20th. I doubt it, mainly cause he isn't gonna get off his ass for anything other than golf and complaining, and the list of unfinished promises out of that guy would take a lifetime. The realization is that the people here would welcome Satan himself if he recognized Taiwan as an independent nation, but as Beelzebub is not available, they will happily welcome one of his minions.
The locals also got pissed at Bloomberg News for ranking Taiwan 3rd in its handling of the Covid-19 response behind New Zealand and Japan. Can't really blame them for that as the evidence laid out in that article clearly shows TW kicked all the ass. The only thing they really get dinged for is future access to the vaccine, but that isn't even a thing yet.
Instead of the standard pole dance performance for a wedding or funeral, a young man appears to have been "kidnapped" to take part in an elaborate birthday parade. At 9 p.m. on Saturday evening (Nov. 21), a male user of the Facebook group Baoyuan Commune (爆廢1公社) posted a video with the caption "My poor friend is having his birthday and he was tied to a pole dance jeep. He's just now finally passed Tainan's Dawan Road."
In the video, a scantily clad woman in a halter top, skintight shorts, white stalkings, and white high-heel shoes can be seen standing on the roof of a jeep while grasping a pole in one hand and a microphone in another. She can then be heard saying, "I'd like to first apologize to all our friends at the scene if we're disturbing you, I'm sorry! But you only celebrate your 23rd birthday once! Let's join together and help him have a birthday he'll never forget!"
She then called on bystanders to join in, exclaiming, "Can you all shout happy birthday with me? One, two, three ... Happy Birthday ... Yeah!" Next in the frame appears a man standing motionlessly as he is tied tightly with what appears to be several layers of plastic wrap to a dance pole on the trailing jeep, followed by at least two more jeeps with pole dancers at the ready.
"Instead of the standard pole dance performance for a wedding or funeral."? I didn't get a stripper jeep at my wedding, and will obviously miss out on one at my funeral. And I checked...there is nothing auspicious about the 23rd birthday that requires being saran wrapped to a jeep with strippers.
Last week was Thanksgiving. Our first Thanksgiving in Taiwan, we had the full meal at our apartment with a load of family and friends, but have always left the country for the long weekend in subsequent years. Since that wasn't an option in 2020, we arranged to rent out a house with another family for a few days.
In August, Betty and I road tripped down the east coast. We spent a night at a hot spring place in Su'ao, a couple nights at a BnB near Hualien, and then a few nights at another BnB in a town called Dulan just north of Taitung. THe SU'ao and Hualien portions of that trip were nice, but we were both blown away by Dulan. 6.5 hours drive from Taipei, it is a beach town out of the past. Where Taiwan sits geologically, the beaches are weird. On the west coast, where all the people live, it faces China across the Taiwan Straight and have never heard of a single person that has recommended, let alone been to a beach there. The east coast faces the Pacific and is along the edge of a fault, so the mountains shoot straight up near the coast, and the water drops of sharply and is at one end of the Marianas Trench. It is also new geologically, so most of that sides coast is rocky and the currents are treacherous for swimming. Add the fact that the Taiwanese are neither lovers of sun nor surf, and you do not get a ton of beach destinations that you would think would be abundant on a tropical island. I forget how we stumbled onto it, but Dulan (and a couple of other little stops nearby) are the only real surf beaches here. The small contingent of Taiwanese surfer dudes and their hippie counterparts have settled here, so the town looks like every other town here, but it is littered with cool little eateries and shops. It is a throwback to a time in the States before the BEach Boys made catching a wave trendy, and it feels like we discovered an unknown gem before anyone else. I haven't been everywhere here, but this is my favorite little spot by a long margin.
We also lucked into a really nice BnB in August...the place sits on a hill that has great views of the water and the mountains behind in perfect feng shui proportions.
They have two double and two quad rooms, and we asked the lady in August if we could use the kitchen for Thanksgiving. She said if we rented out the whole place, we were free to do as we pleased, so asked another family we know with kids and booked the place for three nights.
The other family have two daughters in the upper school and also a niece that is 20-something, and they all hail from Texas. To respect their privacy, I will refer to them as Tex ____.
We bought a cooked bird and some other fixins, cooked a bunch of side dishes and loaded up the rig. Me and Tex Dad husband drove while the rest of the gang of 10 took the train. We traveled on Thursday and planned to do Thanksgiving on Friday, so on Thursday night, we made reservations at their local French place. Betty and I tried to go there in August, but it was fully booked. We made reservations in advance for 10 for this evening. We aren't giant French food aficionados, but the name of this place made us want to go. Dulan Crap.
The food was good, and we like this family quite a bit so the night was lively. We had to ask the lady what was up with the name...like does crap mean something in French other than crap? The place is run by the lady and her 'stubborn' French husband. She was hard to understand so some of us thought she said 'sunburned' husband as a way of telling us he was black. He wasn't. We asked about the name and she said that everybody asks her that. No shit lady, you named your restaurant Crap. Anyhoo, she says on their first night in town, the owner of another restaurant they were eating at told the husband that he had a face that should be eating at the 7-11. That was as far as she got into the story. I have to assume that his response was that Dulan is crap, but 'having a face that should be eating at 7-11' is a classic put down. We saw the husband later and the description was spot on.
Here we are...
Friday was our Thanksgiving day. The BnB cooks breakfast and it was great in August and the same this go around. The caretakers use a bunch of veggies from the garden and provide probably the healthiest meal I've eaten all year.
Our plan was to hit the beach in the late morning, take a nap and then put out the spread, and we pulled it off with aplomb. The beach in August was really nice, filled with kids taking surfing lessons, but so effin' hot that I literally got blisters on my feet from the sand. This time, it was a delightful 82 degrees, the beach was empty except for us and the water was the perfect temperature. Not cold enough even to make the boy parts shrivel up. We took the football down and tossed it in the waves.
As part of our family, we brought along Carolyn's best/oldest school friend and Betty's nephew who took a semester off from university in the States to study Chinese in Taiwan. He is staying with his grandparents, which I think is Betty's uncle but could be wrong cause family relationships are very confusing. That is him on a rock with Babydoll.
Tex Dad is a gadget guy and he brought his drone to the beach. I have never seen one in operation up close and now want one. It was pretty windy on this day and I thought there was no way it was gonna fly, but the damn thing did it effortlessly. He hooks his phone to it like you would a stand in the car, and he can fly it while watching the video from the camera on the phone. And far...he flew it until we couldn't even see it, but he could eyeball its location on the phone. The kids were out of sight over some rocks on a hike and he flew it so we could spy on them, getting so close that he ultimately crashed it into one of them (and broke a little skin). While I want one, know it'd be a waste of time as I am not a gadget guy and don't have the patience to learn how to do it right before crashing it to bits.
Nap time was perfect, and then we put our T-giving feast together.
Hard to see, but in the background we hooked the NFL up to their TV and watched the entertaining Dallas v Washington game. Cobbled together a meal with all the required items, including a decent version of the Imbrogulio family mac-n-cheese. B-doll's friend has never lived in the States and this was her first exposure to a Thanksgiving throwdown...always like to be part of a person's introduction to something new.
We had pecan, Oreo cheesecake and a pumpkin pie for dessert. We originally had two pumpkin pies. Betty used her pull at Costco to reserve them in advance and when we went to pick them up, the store had long been sold out and we got some looks from others wondering where we got them. One lady even asked us and I tried to convince Betty into us selling her one of our because we obviously had more than enough dessert with one, and to be fair, the Costco pumpkin pie is not the best. That last statement might get me in trouble, but it is undeniably true. Me and Tex Mom picked up the bird the next morning and it was our job to load the coolers with all the food for the drive down. I'm trying to fit one of the oversized pumpkin pies into our regular cooler, and the thing slips out of the tray and is destroyed. I know I'm in the doghouse cause I've been railing for the last 48 hours that we only needed one and that they are shit anyway, and then this happens. I try to blame Tex Wife for the mishap but alas...
The BnB has some birds and they are allowed to roam free if the guests are cool with it. I'm indifferent to birds...when we were dating, Betty had one that she used to let fly around the apartment. Hated that effin' thing as it used to shit all over the place, but put up with it cause of love. It disappeared one day and it's my recollection that Betty left a door open. When I brought it up, I wasn't accused of killing the bird, so that must be what happened. I will admit to manslaughter of the pumpkin pie though. Tex Dad was uncomfortably comfortable with them.
The kids went and hung out and us big types played games...some Uno and something called Mexican Train dominoes (of course the Texans would bring a borderline anti-Mexican game to the table. Loads of fun and a ton of laughs.
We planned a lazy Saturday with the only activity being a 30 minute drive to the iconic sight in this part of the country, the Sanxiantai Bridge. It does look kinda cool and leads to an island where you are supposed to be able to climb around. I say supposed to as we didn't actually cross it as the weather was windy rainy and it was closed. This was the third time I've been to this site three times and have never crossed it as the first time was during a typhoon, and when Betty and I went in August, it was a million degrees and the parking lot was jammed. I got into a Mexican standoff with another car waiting for a spot and we ultimately said 'screw it' and drove off. We are planning to go down again for X-mas and look forward to missing out on the bridge again.
It does look sorta fun, but that this is the highlight of a trip to this area lets you know how remote the place is.
5 minutes from the BnB is another of the 'iconic' sights in Taitung County...Water Running Upward. That government tourist site describes it as a 'geographical miracle', but it is really an irrigation ditch that an optical illusion makes it look like it goes uphill. Tex Dad tried to improv some BS about it being on the Tropic of Cancer or something, but our know-it-all high schoolers shut him down with some classic eye rolls. Absolutely ridiculous and a must see.
We popped into Dulan proper to peruse the weekend market that is held at the Old Sugar Factory, which is a cool old building. My favorite Dulan hippie runs a stand there with his wife/daughter named The Coconut Woman. She makes crafts out of coconut leaves and he sells his home brew hot sauce. Dulan is littered with burnouts that have life all figured out and are not shy in telling you so. This guy lived in Mexico for years and his English accent is spot on East LA Chicano. His hot sauce is pretty good too.
And we then lunched at the other place we wanted to go in August that was too crowded...Dulan Fish and Chips. Not bad for fish and chips and the place is exactly what you would picture a family run beach town stand would look like. Totally chill, cool tunes, cheap Coronas, animals and small children meandering in and out...loved every bit of it.
Oh yeah...shaved ice is big in this country but is not my thing. Our table got the red bean on the recommendation of the proprietors, and the ice was fine, but they did a little number on the top of it. Not sure exactly what they made it with, but it tasted exactly like a good creme brulee. None of the shaved ice connoisseurs had ever seen or tasted anything like it.
Can you tell I am enamored of this little spot of the globe. It feels like we discovered it and hesitate to talk it up in fear of it being ruined.
That's about it...we had leftovers along with some tasty brisket that Tex lovingly smoked for dinner and that was that. The Texans trained it home and we drove. We took the long way as we wanted to have lunch at a spot in Hualien that we visited in August called Salt Lick. All Western menu, but the draw for us was some deep dish pizza. Not as good as the best Chicago has to offer, but certainly better than some of what I've had there. A treat that can only be found in this country here.
Talking to B-doll this week and she mentioned that the friend she brought told her that her parents, who are decidedly locals, asked her "how white was the weekend". First of all, very. Second, I am simply floored by their racism and would never say such a thing personally. OK, that is exactly something I would say and I love that family for it.
