Week of April 18th, 2014

When I have some time to veg in front of the TV, there is no greater gift than stumbling across a good-bad movie.  May I recommend to you Four Christmases.  Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon star as a dating couple that have to visit each of their wacky divorced parents on Christmas.  Expectedly cheesy at the end, but mindless fun for the most part and several of laugh out loud moments.

For Spring Break this year, we had the good fortune of visiting more of Asia.  The trip was 4 days in Siem Reap, Cambodia and then a few more in Hanoi and Halong Bay Vietnam.  Siem Reap was recently voted by TripAdvisor users as the 8th best tourist destination and is the city in Cambodia where THE temples are.  Angkor Wat is the most famous, but there are many others.  Have seen them in pictures/TV a million times but never really studied their history.  They date from the period of the Khmer Empire, about 800 to 1400AD.  That Empire controlled most of SE Asia including most  of what is today Laos, Thailand and Vietnam.  The temples were originally built as Hindu shrines, but later converted to Buddhist when that religion became dominant in the empire.  Cambodia today is 98% Buddhist today. 

The temples fell into ruin with the fall of the dynasty in the 1300's and were literally forgotten as Cambodia became a vassal state for the next 500 years and were reclaimed by the jungle.  Drought, the plague, the rise of a stronger Thailand and the switch to Buddhism are reasons given for the decline.  The story of a European explorer taking a photograph of a butterfly and accidentely discovering them in the 1800's was told to us a couple times.  Their rehabilitation has taken decades with significant interruptions due to war and genocide.  Each temple seems to have a sponsor that has cleared it from the jungle...Indian, Japanese and French at the ones we saw.

They are pretty amazing.  I think Angkor Thom was my favorite as it had bas relief (I love that word) that depicted everyday life rather than the religious themed ones at Angkor Wat. 

 

 

Perhaps I liked Angkor Thom better than Angkor Wat as we ran into this pack of monkeys running around.  They seemed friendly enough, at least not the aggressive face ripping kind. 

 

The ones carrying the babies were too cute.

Paul identified with them on a personal level.

Except for the clothes and lack of visible tail, they are dead ringers.  You can obviously see what side of the family the boy takes after.  Something I am embarrassed not to have known previously is the difference between apes and monkeys.  It is the lack of a tail.  Other than the monkeys, Angkor Thom was special as they had the elephant ride available.  15 bucks for a 25 minute stroll around the temple, which is a fantastic way to see the place.  In this photo, as I am mounting the beast, you can actually see him wince in pain.

A fun family moment.  After, they let us give them a whole pineapple for a snack.  Elephants are really great...second best in the animal kingdom to the giraffe in my book.

The third temple complex we visited on the first day was the one called Ta Prohm.  They have excavated that one in a way so you can see how they had been reclaimed by the jungle.  The banyan trees and their amazing root systems growing through the buildings looks like it is out of a movie.

We soon learned that it is right out of a movie.  We were told at every turn how Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was filmed here.  I got the feeling that the filming of this movie in Cambodia is the best thing to happen to that country pretty much since the temples were erected.  Our guide thought that there was a channel that runs it on an endless loop.  With Angelina Jolie adopting a Cambodian child, I think she could win the Cambodian Presidential election (should they ever have a fair one of course).

On day two, part of our tour took us to Tonle Sap lake (the largest lake in SE Asia) where we took a boat out to a floating viliage. 

About 700 people live in this villiage and about 20,000 live in similar ones around the lake.  Primarily fishermen, these villiages have stores and gardens.  Power is supplied by batteries and there is an industry for recharging them.  One thing they don't have are bathrooms, which makes you think twice about jumping in the water.  On the ride out, the banks of the lake are covered in garbage. 

Was nice to get on the water with a bit of a breeze.

Another stop on day two was popping into the Land Mine museum.  We went to a killing field the day before and while powerful, lacked the punch I wanted the kids to take away.  The Land Mine museum however did and is a must see.  The guy that put it together is named Aki Ra and was featured a couple years ago as a CNN Hero.  Conscripted into the military as a child, later became a leader in finding and removing land mines.  He then opened this museum on his own documenting their history and the horrors they caused.  Attached to the museum is an orphanage housing children that lost their parents due to land mines.  Incredible guy.  The displays showing all of the ordinance and documenting the quantity of mines and how many people were killed and maimed by them was impactful,

but what really hit hardest was the wall of testimonials written by the kids at the orphanage.  Written through the eyes of little kids, the honesty of the letters was touching.  Kids whose moms were drunks, or given away by their fathers, detailing the day their parents were killed by mines...hard to read but totally captivating and had to read every one.  One letter detailed how his father lost a leg to a mine and they fitted him with a wooden prosthetic.  Sometime later, his dad is in a field and they hear another blast and he worries that his dad was killed by another one. but the other men came back laughing as his father did step on a landmine but only lost his wooden leg.  They called him Mr. Lucky.

The downtown of Siem Reap caters to the tourist trade.  Night markets selling souveniers and restaurants of varying menus and prices.    It is Cambodia's third largest city and a huge source of foreign income.  I was struck by the complete lack of the Western world present...not a single Starbucks or KFC was seen our entire visit. 

The cuisine is a blend of Thai and Vietnamese influences and was good overall.  The only dish I found as unique to them was a curry cooked in banana leaves called Amok.  Discovered it early in our stay and was in love immediately.  Think I ate it 4 times with various meats added and know I will be searching for it the rest of my life.

The most unusual aspect of Cambodia was that the entire economy runs on USD.  All prices are given in dollars, they only accept them at shops, giving change in their own currency only if less than a dollar, and the ATM's only supply notes in greenbacks.  Have seen places where it is used, but not to the exclusion of that countries own currency.  So bizzare...are there other such places? 

Finally, I think my favorite thing about Cambodia is how they greet each other.  As it is 98% Buddhist, everyone greets you in typical Buddhist style by giving the Namaskara Mudra.

"What is Namaskara Mudra? Namaskara, or Anjali mudra, is the hand gesture that evokes greeting another being with the utmost respect and adoration for the Divine in all. As you can see, the greeting is expressed in a form of prayer coming from one's heart or the third eye.

The Namaskara Mudra can be expressed with palms at the heart level or at the forehead. Why? Because only with the heart, or with a deeper spiritual insight (third eye) can one truly see that we are all expressions of the same light."

Such an absolutely peaceful and beautiful greeting, I found myself giving it back to them right away.  Since returning, I have been experimenting with meditation.  Not sure if it is for me as it is all about clearing the mind and there are a lot of sick voices up there that won't shut up.  I have noticed a difference in that I am a bit calmer about life's little annoyances.  We'll see.

Except for the stifling heat, loved everything about Cambodia and Siem Reap.  If you can go, go, just try to arrange your trip in the Winter time.  Will tackle Vietnam next week.



Week of April 11th, 2014

Hiya...got back from vacation last Saturday and had a terrific time.  This week for me has been all about the school board election and am gonna detail that and put the trip recap off a week.  However I had to share this article I just read on Yahoo.  It is Trip Advisors annual list of top 20 tourist destinations.  Not sure when Trip Advisor took over the world of travel planning, but it has been a valuable and trustworthy source for things to do when planning a vacation for me in the last year.  You have to learn how to wade through the reviews and take them with a grain of salt, but now have a great feel for it and consider it my travel bible. 


Look at numbers 8 & 9...we just got back from both.  Who would have guessed?  Uh, we did. 

This week was the first of two Meet the Candidates programs at school.  The school community is invited to meet the 6 candidates (for 3 spots) and the program consists of 3 minute introduction speeches by each of  us, an hour of questions from the audience, and then 1 minute closing statements.

I've taught a fair amount of classes in my day, have given speeches on work related topics several times and was a pre-race MC for the Beat the Bridge 10k for several years.  I don't search it out but am not typically afraid of a microphone or vamping in front of a crowd.  That was until the topic was the one I dread the most, which is boasting about me.  Have been running thoughts about what I was going to say in my head for a couple weeks now, wrote it down on Monday and then committed it to memory.  It was in the style you see here...obviously a bit more formal, but still had my "touch". 

Then Betty sends me an email the night before to wish me luck.  She starts with "I know you are going to do great".  Thanks for remembering honey...but then adds,"....just keep your humor in check until AFTER the election."  Shit.  I'm now officially bumped, but decide to ignore her and go with my gut.  Until 2:33AM on show day.  That's when I sit up straight in bed and look at the clock and decide I am going to tear the whole thing apart and start anew.  Took about an hour or two to sterilize and think it is OK.  Did get back in the sack for a few more winks but had to wake up at 4:30 to get Paul ready for his NYC trip.  Damn you Betty.  What I finally said in my three minute opener is at the bottom of the entry for posterity.

The opener seemed to go fine.  The other candidates are all very qualified...CEO's of this, Chairman of the Board of that.  Honestly, I cannot imagine why they would want to give up what has to be a limited amount of free time to do another thing.  Are they power freaks, hate being with their family, or just better than me?  One of the audience questions was how they thought they could devote the time it would take to be a good board member, so I smoked them on that one.  Most of that Q&A is a blur.  I remember one discussion about refunding the endowment and the other candidates used all the corporate financial terms while I said the same thing by saying that my goal was to stuff (the superintendent) Sharon's pockets full of cash.  I also recall some question where the discussion of work load levels for students in school, Western v Asian styles of education and part of my explanation included how "the school kicked Paul's publicly educated butt the first semester."  There were others like that I think, so you get the gist...Populist Me.  I definitely received the most laughs, so got that goin' for me.  The whole thing is on the web somewhere.  I'll never look for it but you can if you want and tell me what you think.  On second thought, would rather not know what you think cause I know you'd be lying if you said I did great.

One thing that distracted me during the proceedings in a bad way was that we had a time limit in our replies, and with 30 seconds to go, one of the election committee members in the back would hold up a yellow card signifying that time was almost up.  A couple of times when they did that during my ramblings, my mind went totally blank.  Not only couldn't remember what I was saying, but what the damn question was.  Think I rallied a bit.  Maybe.  Anyway, will be better prepared for that the second round next Wednesday. 

Another distraction was one of the audience members.  I've been to a few informal gatherings in the lead-up to this thing to press the flesh, and at one of the lunches I met this lady dressed in purple.  It happened to be her birthday and they gave her this lovely purple candle.  The gift giver says, "you know her...it's all about the purple".  In the last two weeks, I now seem to see her everywhere and she is dressed head to toe in purple every time.  And you can guess who is sitting dead center right in front of me during the program.  Why do some people do that?  Einstein used to wear the same type of shirt and pants every day so as to not have to devote any mental energy thinking about his clothes, but this ain't that.  Way too much thought goes into this life's work.  There has to be some psychological term for it and will have to remember to ask my sister.  I think how much I'd like to get a glimpse of her closet and for a brief moment during one of the other candidates monologues, I wondered if all of her underwear is purple too. 



Oh man...Barney doesn't wear underwear!  Now I'm grossed out.  I wonder if any of the other candidates had this thought?

In the audience were the parents of Paul's girlfriend.  I hadn't met them previously, but talked to the dad once when Paul invited her over and he called to give me the verbal stink eye.  I realized they were there when he asked a question as they have to introduce themselves.  After the program, I make a bee-line to introduce myself and he is rather cool and the wife has her arms folded and a look on her face like I just took a steaming dump on her shoe.  That chit-chat ended quickly enough, but that evening when I pick Carolyn up from school, she asks me if Paul broke up with the girl.  Having no idea, I ask her why she asked and she said the girl told her friend, who told her sister, who is friends with Carolyn and told her.  Meow.  Paul is still on the road so I don't know if it's true, but suspect the gossip pipeline at school is fairly reliable, and it would explain my sour reception by the parents.  Oh well, just lost two votes there...damn you Paul.    

My closing was pretty strong and I end that with a blurb about how this election and how that "being a candidate has forced me to go outside of my usual circle and talk to people that I would not otherwise have had a chance to meet and in doing so, have made a lot of wonderful connections.  Regardless of the outcome on April 21^st, I am already a winner." 

That is absolutely true.  I walk around the halls these days and many people smile and come up to talk to me.  They like our Sultan picture, something I said or just to thank me for running.  While I am certainly not a shy guy, I am very guarded around new people.  Think it has to do with the fact that I know my uncontrollable crassness just comes roaring out like projectile vomit, so I've trained myself to wade in slow.  Betty on the other hand can walk into a room of strangers and have 10 new best friends in 10 minutes, which drives me crazy with envy.  The quantity of all these new interactions coupled with the rote replies of a candidate and the need for me to put myself out there is helping me be a better mingler.

After the program was some chit chat with the audience and I was talking with the head of the PTA with whom I am friendly.  This schools PTA is pretty damn impressive.  Have had to study up a lot on the school to be ready to speak about it for this election and in my opinion, the PTA does more for the school than the Board does by miles.  In my heart, I think I would be better serving them than the Board as I consider myself a grunt.  Roll up the sleeves and get dirty, thank you sir, may I have another, and tell me how high boss.  Board is wine and cheese and the PTA is cheap beer and peanuts...this school is sorta fancy, so maybe some imported beer and a nice healthy wrap.  I'm telling the PTA lady this (more diplomatically of course) and say that if this school board thing doesn't work out that I would be coming to her to see what I could do to help them.  She says they already have me on their radar in just such an event and already have a few ideas...that they would love to have more male parent involvement.  So win lose or draw, looks like I'll be getting some work to do.

Here is the speech from Wednesday.  I have to write a new speech for next week...think I'm gonna let it all hang out.

Good morning, my name is John Imbrogulio and I am candidate # 3.  I have two children at TAS…a 9^th grader named Paul, and a 5^th grader named Carolyn

I was born and raised in Southern California, but have much experience in international education.  I majored in International Relations at American University in Washington DC and spent two years at university overseas, first in Australia and then in Argentina. 

Since school, I have worked non-stop for 28 years and have had 3 careers  in fields that are not only international in focus but instilled in me skills that will serve the TAS school board well. 

My first career was in Customs Compliance.  While at a Nordstrom, a major retailer in the US, being the Customs Compliance manager forced me to be detail driven to master the minutia of International laws and Federal regulations, while at the same time having to sell the importance of Compliance to the entire company.  It is one of those jobs that if it went wrong, you ended up on the news and then on the street.  I will always be proud of the fact that I led Nordstrom to the first 100% compliant audit in the history of the US Customs service.

My second career was in International Transportation where I was tasked with planning shipping schedules across the globe to meet our internal and external customer needs.  This included sourcing partners and negotiating contracts that provided the company both service and value.

The third stage in my career started unexpectedly two years ago when a job opportunity arose for my wife of 20 years, Betty, to move to Taipei with Costco.   For lack of a better term, I am now what they call a “Trailing Spouse”.  This new career has no job description, but I think we all try to define it in our own way.  With my kids getting older and more independent, I have been searching for meaningful ways to keep active and this has led me to spend a lot of time at TAS.

Time prevents me from detailing all of the love I have for TAS, but I will share one thing.  I woke up far before the crack of dawn this morning to get my son to school for his trip with his after school debate team to travel to NY to compete in the finals of a world-wide forensics competition.  It’s a huge deal.  I know that sounds braggadocious, but I take no credit.  I give it all to the school for  motivating and inspiring the kids to try out for this, and then providing the mentors to shape them into finalists.

I can say without hyperbole that the two years my kids have spent here has changed their lives in profound ways that are not only evident today, but know will make them adults that I will look up to. 

Not only has TAS had a positive impact on them, but it has made me a better parent and better person.  I find myself more and more eager to volunteer at the school and with the incredible gift of time I have been given, I can think of no better job than to be working for, learning from and serving TAS. 

I hope you will remember me when you cast your ballot.

 

Week of March 21st, 2014

There will be no entry the next two Fridays...we leave on Thursday for a 9 day Spring break trip to Cambodia and Vietnam.  4 days in Siem Reap, Cambodia to visit Angkor Wat., then on to Hanoi.  While in Hanoi, we're going on a two night junk trip on Halong Bay.  Have been looking into things to see, and a couple of the darker ones include a killing field in Cambodia and the Hanoi Hilton, which is not one of Paris' dad's hotels, but rather the prison for Americans during the Vietnam War - aka the American War to the Vietnamese.  Should be amazing and am looking forward to sharing.

Carolyn went to her first proper show on Sunday night...Avril Lavigne at Linkou Stadium.  She went with her friend Roni, and since tickets were $125 each, Roni's mom and I decided that we both didn't need to go in, so I drove them and hung outside (and watched a couple episodes of True Detective...awesome) while they went in.  We bought floor seats, which turned out to be GA standing room and they managed to get up pretty close.

Not my camera...must be an iPhone as they are unable to be rotated properly in this site.  Sounded like they had a great time...sang along, bought t-shirts (which they coordinated with matching outfits to wear to school the next day) and are already clamoring to go to another show.  Love that...I've repeated often how seeing Kiss when I was Carolyn's age changed my life and can see a bit of that in her.  Have been thinking about taking up playing the bass guitar and will get one that Carolyn is able to handle as there is nothing more awesome than female bass players.  The list of them in RnR history is quite impressive.  While I'm a guitar lover, I tried to learn how to play it a few years ago, and after a few months of classes, and being totally frustrated with it, the instructor said that it would be hard for me to learn as my fingers aren't long enough.  Way to crush my dreams, but you know what they say, stubby fingers means a huge...  Anyway, bass seems within my grasp and am on the lookout for a decent used one.

I mentioned that last Friday, the first Board election thing was getting up in front of the parents at the "Chinese Gathering" for a 3 minute introduction.  Definitely not my strongest outing...all of the other candidates (including two white dudes) can speak Mandarin perfectly, and there is not much more a Chinese love than seeing a Westerner speak in their tongue.  You could hear them gasp out loud when they launched into their speech.  I tried to use a gag to defuse my disadvantage...when we came to Taiwan, I badly wanted to learn to speak Mandarin and am happy to say that is exactly what I accomplished.  I now speak Mandarin badly.  Crickets.  As I led off with that, it was a slog for the next 3 minutes.  Did do better at the tables during lunch as I prefer the informal setting when you can dig deeper.  I met a couple of moms whose kids are on the same baseball team with Paul and they asked if I knew that the boys were planning to go together to Hooters after the game the next day and if I thought it was OK.  I did not know that was their plan but thought it was cool enough (secretly thinking it was very cool).  I often wish I was more like Betty...she can go into almost any room of strangers and will walk out making life long friends.  I'm not shy to say the least, but am far more guarded talking to new people.  This election thing has been great in the fact that I have to open up faster and am meeting tons of new people. 

As part of this thing, all the candidates have to prepare a poster that hangs in the lobby for the 4 week election cycle.  The posters are pretty similar in stating objectives...we all want the best teachers, cutting edge facilities, blah-ba-di-blah, but when it comes to the family photos, ours is unique.  The other candidates have lovely professional shots with their beautiful families...the kind where everyone wears a white polo shirt and blue jeans.  I have always hated those and prefer candid or funny shots, but am probably off base as a lot off people have them.  This is what I went with...

Looks better in person as this is a picture of a picture of it, but this is the photo at the bottom.

The kids both said they were embarrassed but secretly think they like it as it is different and a conversation starter.  A friend of Carolyn's says Paul looks like a Taliban.  Betty looked at all the posters yesterday and declared that mine was weird and our art teacher friend loved it.   Whatever...I guarantee that it gets more eyes than any of the other ones and that is the point, no?



 

Week of March 14th, 2014

Have to do a little bragging on Paul this week.  A month or so ago, he tried out for the high school softball team and was selected to play varsity.  We are all bummed that the school doesn't offer proper baseball, but they have what they have and being named varsity as a Freshman is still an accomplishment.  There aren't any other local teams their age to play, so they compete against men's softball clubs.  Their opponents range in skill from high quality beer league to ex-professional baseball players still getting their game on, so pretty decent competition for high schoolers.  He is the starting 3B  and has been batting second, and last week had such a big day at the plate/field, that he was voted the schools Athlete of the Week. 

Being a starter would get him on the select team that will be traveling to Singapore in April to compete against the other American schools in Asia (i.e. Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia, etc.).  He just found out this morning that he will be unable to go on that trip.  In the fall, he joined an after school debate team and they entered a global on-line competition with the International Public Policy Forum (IPPF), which is sponsored by a New York law firm.  You can read more about it here.  The competition is open to all high schools around the world, and their team submitted an initial paper in October.  Over 250 schools, from 37 states and 25 countries submitted papers and those were weeded down to an NCAA tournament style 64.  Those 64 teams then went on a single elimination bracket and over the last few months, they have been going head to head with other schools, taking one side or another on whatever issue they have been given, and had progressed to the Sweet 16 round.  He learned on Wednesday morning that their group won their round 16 match and are in the Elite 8, which entails an all expense paid trip to New York City to compete for the top prize.  They will be going against schools not only from states like Arizona and Texas, but also from places like Singapore and Slovakia.  Hugely impressive, especially considering that their team is comprised of Freshman and Sophomores only.  Unfortunately for him, the trip is the same week as the baseball, I mean softball, teams trip to Singapore.  Such a problem of riches...

He/we are so lucky that the kids have this chance to go to this school.  I tell this story a lot, and am sure I did so in this space previously, but the first week at the school last year, I am sitting at home and get a call from Paul's 8th grade homeroom teacher, Ms. Rowe.  She introduces herself and my gut reaction is, 'what did the boy do this time?'.  I later learn that these calls are standard for new students to check in with the parents to see how the kids are doing with the huge life change, but during the call, she tells me how much she loves having him in class and that he is very talkative.  This was always a negative in Seattle Public, but at TAS, they are looking for the kids that aren't afraid to speak up.  Throughout the year, she recruited him to join the Model UN team and he has been participating in that since.  This led to him being involved in a group of kids that put their hat into this forensics competition this year.  Their forensics team is being mentored by faculty at the school that includes two coaches from Brown and Yale's Scholars Summer debate program and the former VP of the National Forensics League that are on their staff. 

Now you can understand why I have drank the Kool-Aid about the school and can see why I want to be a part of such an amazing place, which is why I put my hat into the race for the school board.  I have learned a lot so far and will share some of the cool and funny stuff next week, but I have had to devote a bunch of time putting together my campaign materials this week, which are all due today.  This afternoon, the candidates are invited to attend and speak at the schools "Chinese Gathering", which I am told consists of 100 or so hard core Chinese parents.  I am not typically nervous about public speaking, but know that my brand of English, laced with sarcastic (some might say sardonic) humor just doesn't translate into Mandarin.  In any case, should provide some fodder for next weeks entry.  In the meantime, here is the (almost final) draft of my on-line profile (including head shot...when did my hair get so gray?).

Background

I was born and raised in Southern California.  I attended Arcadia High School and spent my senior year in Australia on a student exchange.    I received my BA in International Service at American University in Washington DC.  While there, I spent a semester abroad at Universidad Catolica in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

After graduation, I worked for 25 years in the Customs Compliance and International Transportation fields for Expeditors International and Nordstrom Inc.  These two companies are internationally renowned for providing excellent quality and customer service.  I am proud of the contributions I made to both, and learned a great deal about what goes into creating a world class organization from them.  In 2013, a job offer for my wife of 20 years, Betty, to transfer to with Costco led to our relocation to Taipei, and our children’s (Paul –grade 9 and Carolyn-grade 5) enrollment at TAS.  While this move put my professional career on hold, it provided me the ability to focus my attention on our family, which has led to much time being involved with TAS.  In the two years we have been at the school, every time I walk away from a performance, parent/teacher conference, or just seeing a random faculty/student interaction, I feel TAS is the equal in offering the quality and service of my previous employers.  The constant amazement at what the TAS community offers, and the desire to contribute to its continuation, is why I am running for School Board. 

Objective

My objectives as a member of the school board will be to support TAS administration in obtaining the highest quality faculty possible, and to ensure that the funds available are used prudently in creating a state of the art facility.  These pillars will ensure that our students are the most desired by universities around the world, and are uniquely prepared for their role as the future leaders of society.

Priorities

1)      Advocate for the future.  Keep TAS in the lead with regard to changes in technology so our students remain at the forefront of high school graduates.  A goal of the entire administration should always be to identify and invest in the next robotics lab, 3D printer, etc. 

2)      The next generation.  Build upon the solid current structure with the goal for TAS to not just be a better place for our children, but for their children.  Every thought, action and question should be how to secure and allocate resources, both human and financial, to make that happen.

3)      Community.  It is my experience that many rewarding educational experiences happen outside the classroom.  With the somewhat transient nature of a large percentage of the TAS community, creating a lasting passion for the institution is a challenge.  Building the love of TAS amongst the students and their families through sports, the arts, and community outreach will create a powerful and active alumni that will serve the school in perpetuity. 

Mangia!

Week of February 28th, 2014

I know...there is no posting last week.  That doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  It has some sensitive information that, in retrospect and under sage advisement, should not be made public at this time.  I promise to post it one day.

Today (February 28th) is National Day and commemorates this date in 1947 when some bad shit went down.  I wrote about it this time last year so won't rehash, but outside our building is passing a big "parade".  From these snaps off of our balcony, you can see it's no Tournament of Roses, or even a Doo Dah Parade. 

The music blaring from the speakers is quite horrendous, like they are trying to raise the dead.  Have yet to hear one traditional song in Chinese that doesn't cause nausea or cats to come a runnin'.   We found out that it isn't in commemoration of the 228 Incident, but is rather a funeral procession for some old rich dude in the neighborhood.  There is an industry of people here that are paid to come to memorials to the recently dead and cry over their  bodies.  Not sure who this is supposed to appease...probably some God.  I wish there was a demand for someone to come make fun of the dead because I would be in high demand.  This parade seems a bit over the top for a dead guy and am stating here and now, that when my number comes up, that you cremate me and do what you like with the ashes.  Put 'em on the shelf if that's your thing.  If you want to scatter them, the beach would be nice...maybe a few at Dodger Stadium or at some music show would be my choices.  This fancy parade reminded me of a post I saw on Facebook by The Picture Magazine (an Australian magazine and not a bad "like" for funny/dirty comments/photos).  The post said, "When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.  It is difficult only for the others.  It is the same when you are stupid."

Some previews of upcoming topics.  Bought tickets this week for Carolyn to go see her first real concert...Avril Lavigne on March 16th.  As with everything else that's imported here, the tix were way to expensive.  $125 each.  Carolyn is an Avril superfan...last summer, we had a CD of hers, the one with SK8er Boi, and we listened to it to death.  We were all signing along to every track by the end of the trip.   I decided with the mom of Carolyn's friend that also is big into her that we'd save a few bucks if she went with the girls and I would do the chaufering.  I was telling this mom as we were buying tickets that the dad of the neighbor kid/friend (Mark Miller) across the street took us to see Kiss (Cheap Trick opened) in 1976 at the Forum in LA.  Kiss was at the peak of their powers...Kiss Alive! had recently been released.  We were the same age (10) as Carolyn is now.  That night changed my life forever.  My favorite place to be (other than with family and friends...natch) is to be in the crowd of a hot club having my ears pummeled and face melted by loud rock and roll.  I hope this does the same for my babydoll.

In other news, was notified this week that I made the list of 6 candidates for the Taipei American School Board.  Not sure how many people signed up for consideration, but am guessing not many more than 6 if they picked me, and I shudder to think what the ones they didn't choose are like.  Voting is in April and there will be 3 of the 6 voted to the Board for a 3 year term.  I have to prepare a poster and open letter to the community in the next few weeks and will be sure to share them here.  Stay tuned.

Finally, this weeks entry is short as I have been on a binge marathon re-watching the 2 1/2 seasons of Veronica Mars in anticipation of the March 14th release of the Veronica Mars movie.  You can debate the greatest shows on TV, and most people will agree that while it might not be their thing, fill in the blank...Breaking Bad/Downton Abby/All In The Family/etc, are fantastic shows.  For my money, the greatest show that no one but a lucky few watched and most people dismiss as teeny bopper trash (and they do so prejudicially without ever seeing an episode), is Veronica Mars.  Dark, supremely casted, funny, well written episodes all woven around series spanning arcs...pure genius.  Have watched from end to end at least 4 times and could, and probably will, watch 4 more. 

Week of March 7th, 2014

The last few days here have been so great weather wise.  60's, grey and with a constant drizzle.  A lot of people here are bummed, but to me, it feels like home. 

Last night, went out to see a friends band and this local guy glommed onto me right when I walked in the door.  Was hanging out with us all night, talking non-stop and kept asking the band to play Cat Stevens 'Morning Has Broken' so he could sing along karaoke style.  In his way broken English, he told us his name was Nick and that he was a doctor.  Dr. Nick?  All us devoted Simpsons fans had a field day with that.  As with Dr. Nick Riviera, we had to question his bona fides as he not only was chain smoking, but forcing anyone in his reach to chain smoke.  I watched him pressure this one guy who said he didn't smoke and had given it up years ago to finally break down and start puffing away.  I woke up this morning and could smell the smoke billowing out of my clothes in the laundry basket.  I took a whiff of my socks and underwear and even they reeked of it.  Hi eveybody...

Below is the entry from a couple weeks ago that I couldn't post.  I had to change the names to protect the anonymity of my friend as not everyone knows of his condition...enjoy.

Kind of an uneventful week for things that belong in this diary.  Was going to go write up things from a couple of fall back topics, like Betty and my ongoing (at least once a week) discussion about Chinese drivers and my daily statements that I cannot understand why they (a lot) will pull the most asshole of maneuvers to cut in front of people because they "think" they are better/more important than the people that have to now wait while traffic comes to a complete stop.  Then Betty justifies this behavior by replying  that it is their survival of the fittest mentality ingrained for millenia.  Cut to me shaking my head about how shitty it must have been in China for millenia to make them such assholes, and then blurting out how this Darwinian explanation demonstrates how sub-human they remain.

Or I was going to write about the old Chinese bats, and how they walk around town with scowls on their faces and move slowly, as if near death.  Yet when they see/smell the free samples at the Costco, they exhibit super human strength and speed in fighting for the small cup of Singapore Curry, then gather in a circle with the other bats attacking it like hyenas over a zebra carcass.

Instead, am going to follow up on last weeks lament about how our aging bodies are breaking down.    Yesterday, I asked a friend (will call him Chief) about how our mutual buddy (Boss) was doing.  Had seen on Facebook that Boss' wife was taking him to the doctor for back pain, and then posting some breaking hearts emoticons. Chief emails me this morning saying that they found a serious health condition and that they are trying to figure out what to do.  Got me thinking about my old friend and feel the need to share some stories. 

Boss lived on the same floor (Hughes Hall/6th floor) as me sophomore year in college.  We weren't super tight, but hung out a bit, mostly playing sports.  I remember a night when Boss and another dude (Pooh) came into my room wanting to get stoned and them loving the song Fire in Cairo that was playing on my boom box and then all of us singing along to the chorus.  There was many a game of touch football in all kinds of weather and those being some of the best games ever.  A couple years after graduation, I was living in LA and Boss moved out to the coast for some reason that I can't recall and we hooked up.  I needed to move out of my parents place and we, along with another college buddy (Slick) decided to rent an apartment together in Rancho Palos Verdes (RPV).  The place had an amazing roof deck where you could see the length of LA from the South Bay to the Sierra Madres.  We could see the planes lining up to land at LAX, and on July 4th, would watch dozens of fireworks shows going off simultaneously.

I think we lived in that place about 3 years...me working and Slick and Boss both deciding to go to law school.  There were a lot of fun times together.  Like...

- Somehow, we became huge Clipper fans.  It was probably due to the fact they sucked and tickets were cheap.  We did partial season tix in the most perfect of locations that were $35 each and supplemented those with Entertainment book '2 for 1' cheapies where we could both get in for $10 total with $3 parking.  They played at the Sports Arena, which is in the heart of one of the toughest neighborhoods in town.  This was at a time when they had to move some games to Anaheim during the '92 riots.  While the dance team, then called 'Clipper Spirit', was awesome, the Clippers were terrible and we would spend most of the night making fun of the players, giving them our own nicknames that were funny only to us.  My favorite was for coach Mike Schuler, who looked like a dentist (and coached like one too), we would call him Mike Schuler, DDS.  Dumb I know, but we could go for hours on this jag.

- Boss and I would play tennis fairly regularly (famously playing in the Tracy Austin Tournament, where we bowed out in the first round) and we had compatible games.  Most notably, we both sucked but thought we were better, and when things weren't going our way, we would smash our rackets in fits of temporary rage McEnroe style. We weren't rolling in the dough at the time, and I know we spent more than we could afford buying new rackets. At the aforementioned Tracy Austin tournament, we both smashed our rackets and recall the look of disgust on the faces of just about everyone. 

- We were all keen on gambling, particularly the horses.  Not very successful at it, but still loved it.  At one point, Chief, who was doing better than us financially, bought a race horse.  St. Louis Kid was its name.  The Kid's first race under Chief's ownership was at Hollywood Park (R.I.P.), and Chief rented a box that day and we all went out to root it on.  I believe it was the morning line's third choice at 4 or 5-1 in the 5th race.  We are enjoying the early races and our brush with celebrity, soaking in our rare opportunity to hang in the high roller section, and Chief comes up with a sad look on his face, saying his horse had a cough and was scratched.  Two days later, the Kid was dead.  Can't remember what did him in, but we all felt bad for him.

- Boss had this girlfriend for a while, damn if I can remember her name, but she was a trip.  They bought an Iguana together, I'm sure it wasn't his idea, and creatively named it Iggy.  Had to feed that poor thing whenever they went out of town and it would escape from his terrarium all the time.  One thing Betty (we were dating at that time) remembers is that we didn't cook much, but one night the girlfriend decides she is going to make Hamburger Helper and didn't drain the fat from the meat.  The girlfriend had this hyper-motor and she would work in an office all day, then work a shift as a hostess at a local restaurant, then go all the way downtown to a club (without Boss) and dance The Lambada.  The Forbidden Dance.  Then she'd wake up early and do it all over again.  I don't think they ever cleaned their bathroom (the apartment was pretty spacious and we all had our own), but from time to time, we'd go in there to borrow something and would see all of Boss' beard hair caked on every part of the sink. I know that Slick will remember this, but he and I would be watching the TV and notice that from time to time, they would both take showers in the evening (which they never did otherwise) and then they would "retire" early for the evening.  As soon as we heard that shower turn on at 7ish, we would both turn and laugh hysterically.  To be fair, she had a heart of gold and we also regularly got smokin' deals at the restaurant where she hosted.

- If you know LA and where RPV is in relation to the city, you know that it took 25 minutes just to hit the freeway and then you had to deal with some of the most congested freeways (the 405 and 110) in town.  Boss' school was in downtown LA so he regularly felt the brunt of gridlock.  One day I'm driving with him in his car (a sun ravaged Toyota Cressida if memory serves) and see the windshield is spiderweb cracked on the drivers side and asked him what happened.  Nonchalantly, he tells me he got so pissed in traffic that he punched out the window.  I swear he never got that thing fixed.  This is the car where he bought a watermelon for a July 4th bbq and left it in the trunk for several months.  From then on, that car had such a unique odor that would make you gag for the duration of your ride.

- We had a thing for bad horror movies.  We would be tickled when one of us brought a new one home from the video store and we would cackle at how truly bad they were.  The worse they were, the more grotesque the killings were done, the better we loved them.  One I recall most vividly was Deadly Friend and how the deadly friend killed character actress Anne Ramsey (Momma from Throw Momma From The Train) by exploding her head with a basketball. 

- When Betty and I got married, we didn't want to do the stupid chicken dance (and the Macarena hadn't been "invented" yet), but we always loved the way they danced to the Hava Nagila at Jewish weddings.  As we are flying around in circles, Boss and Slick  decide to take me out by blindsiding me as if I'm returning a punt.   I didn't know who did it at the time, but I suspected them and they vehemently denied it.  Seeing the wedding video months later, sure enough, there they were.  You can watch them conspiring leading up to it and then one going high and one going low.  They'd get a fine from the commissioners office these days.

I could go on...I know these will mostly sound terrible to some, but those were some great times for us.  Around 94-95, we all moved out of LA and other than once or twice, haven't seen any of those guys for nearly 20 years.  While it took some hugely unsettling news to bring them up from the deep recesses of the mind, these are some of my favorite memories from the best of times with lifelong friends.  I hope I can see them all real soon. 

 

Week of February 14th, 2014

Had my first visit to a Taiwanese dentist yesterday.  Had been hesitant to visit one previously but felt it important to go more than the one time when we go back to ours in Seattle.   Was reluctant to go basically due to prejudism as the term 'Chinese dentist' offers a sense of confidence on the same scale as would UN Peacekeeper or Iranian kosher hot dog.  I guess only English dentist would be worse.  I do see a lot of them around and the kids at school have as many braces as you'd see in the west, so had prepared myself mentally for the experience.  I met a super-enthusiastic mom at school whose husband is one and operates a clinic downtown.  She said he did his graduate work at Northwestern so his familiarity with dentistry that we are accustomed was calming. 

Looked up their website and everything seemed sufficiently modern.  Going in, the office was well appointed and charming in a Japanese style.  The enthusiastic mom was there and gave me the royal treatment, even joining me in the x-ray room and during the exam, which was a bit over the top, but she obviously meant well and am sure she wanted to make sure I had a great experience so I would recommend to friends.  And I totally do.  As far as I could tell, their equipment was all new and state of the art.  They took this 360 degree 3D image of my mouth from this rotating X-ray machine that I'd never seen before that showed all of my fillings, bone and gum lines, jaw symmetry, all displayed for us to review on a massive flat screen sitting in the chair.  They were very proud of the machine saying that it was 'the best from Japan'.  After the Turks telling us how much of their high end architecture projects were Japanese built, feel that I have been underestimating their manufacturing strength recently.  The chair itself was deluxe...the funny thing about it was that it had a spit sink.  Our dentist, who we have been going to for the last 18 years, had done away with them long ago and now only uses that suction thingy.  I mentioned it to the mom and her dentist husband, and they laughed, saying that they knew that they are less common in the States these days, then said, "but you know how much the Chinese love spitting."  We all had a chuckle at that.

After the exam, and the apparently universal recommendation that we use Sonic Care toothbrushes, admonishments about my problem plaque areas, and the raised eyebrow when I claimed to floss everyday, got a clean bill of health.  Basic dental care is covered under National Health Insurance (TW's Obamacare), and from what I can tell, that includes cavity filling and scaling.  Not covered was cleaning/polishing, and they "recommended" their three-step process of French design that included polishing with another cool new machine called air-flow, a fluoride layer and something else I can't remember.  While the stereotype of the French is that they like it hairy and have a bathing regimen famously different than the States, their dental hygiene is considered neutral.  Whatever, it was $90 bucks, figured at this stage that it was worth trying out, and appreciate that they have to make a few bucks outside the government subsidized part of the exam.  By law, there are no hygenists and that work must be done by the DDS themselves.  Was pleasantly surprised by the minimal amount of time he spent using that horrible metal hook thing to scrape off the plaque.   I walked out feeling very clean and fresh and was super impressed overall.  Maybe the best part was it was located downtown in a neighborhood I had never visited that was really cool.  Got there early so took a stroll around and saw a bunch of interesting shops and tasty looking restaurants, including a Canadian place next door that sells poutine (gross, but so great with a couple of cocktails) and a Spanish joint with paella on the menu.  We will be going back soon (next Friday actually).

Moving along...evvvvvvvryone seems to be doing the Facebook movie thing this week.  Guess this is the internet generations 'do you want to see the slides from our summer vacation?'  What's even more annoying are the sickening comments from friends about 'how beautiful you are', 'what a special family', etc.  Yuck.  You know you can create those so only you can see it?  Of course, I've been leaving a snarky comment here and there, like comparing their movie to Paranormal Activity or A Clockwork Orange, etc...Betty says I won't have any friends left pretty soon.  Then got to wondering, when did I turn into the 'get off my lawn' old man?

Thought about that for a couple minutes and then it hit me...at 42 years old.  I remember the day precisely.  Was at a Mariner game taking a leak and this little kid saddles up next to me at the trough and lets loose a stream that could blast moss off the sidewalk (very NW euphemism).  As I looked down at my camp shower power output I thought to myself, I used to pee like that, what the hell happened?  At Chinese New Year dinner last week, we're sitting around the table with Betty's uncles (getting wasted on some fine Single Malt) and there was a good 5-10 minute stretch where we were comparing notes as to how many times we wake up and have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  Add to that, this week I had another bout of diverticulits (look it up if you dare, it's gross).  It seems hardly a week goes by without hearing about a friend that has some bizarre disease (or worse) or that their kids are applying to/graduating from college (or worse).  I can recall the days when it seemed like there was a friends wedding every other month, and out of nowhere, I have turned into my dad, complete with sagging earlobes.  Fuck.

One thing that was able to cheer me up in a nostalgic kinda way is that I've been consciously thinking about lately is music.  I got one of the mega memory iPods last Fall, the kind that holds 30,000 songs, and have dumped every note of music I have onto it.  It is awesome...anything I want to hear in the palm of my hand and by hitting shuffle all songs, stuff pops up that I hadn't heard in ages or from an album that I bought and only liked a couple tracks, but in the shuffle format, come to newly appreciate.  This week, spent some time creating a playlist...needed one to play in the car/home with the family around that was sufficiently groovy for me, but leaves out the abrasive stuff that everyone else hates.  To do so, you have to go through the library, sampling things here and there to make sure they fit the mood.  What I have always felt, but was overwhelming as I sifted through the background music of my life, was how a song can evoke such vivid memories of people, places or times in life.  Most are wonderful, a few are sad, some just are, with a few kinky ones in there for good measure.  I have over 10k songs in my player and was overwhelmed with these rememberances.  Smells will do that too, and foods can evoke a memory from time to time, but something about music does it big time for me.  When the memory loss starts to settle in, and judging from some of the other recent events mentioned above, that could be pretty soon, am hoping that these little flashbacks are so ingrained in the neural network that my minds photo album is worth reviewing.   As these thoughts are running through my mind, I'm listening to the Adam Carolla podcast on Tuesday and he goes on a jag about the Michael Martin Murphy classic Wildfire.  Has to be close to 40 years since I heard it, and  was immediately transported to the Mayfield carpool in 1975.  I was about 10ish, and one of the girls in the carpool, Lisa Jeffries, who was in high school at the time, used to ride horses.  Some days she'd get in the car wearing her jodhpurs and riding boots.  That look was a slight underdog to win the Oscar in the Classic Hotness category, but edged out Catholic School Girl uniform in a minor upset (the rest of the nominees were Nerdy/Hot Librarian, 6-foot Asian Nurse, and Mary Kay Letourneau).  Wildfire was super popular on the AM dial at the time and I always associated her in that outfit whenever it came on.  When Carolla played it the other day...I could see her galloping down to the car like it was yesterday.  Giddy-up

Week of February 7th, 2014

Not sure what today (Friday, February 7th) is in the whole New Year calendar of events, but they are currently blowing bricks of fireworks off in front of our apartment.  I told the kids the old joke that goes, "If your brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose", and they were stumped by it saying that it didn't make sense as you "blow-up" dynamite.  We went a few laps about how funny that gag is versus how dumb they thought it was.  They even asked their friends at school if it made sense to them and they all said no.  Seriously, I fear for the youth of today.

At least they shot off the fireworks today at 9:30am...last Monday morning, which was a work/school holiday for nearly everybody, the neighborhood store thought it necessary to let off a couple thousand firecrackers at gawdamn 6AM. Such buttholes.  That said, the day of the Seahawk/Niner NFC Championship game, which was a 5:30am kickoff on a Sunday morning, about 20 of us gathered at our friend's Mexican restaurant to eat breakfast burritos, drink beer and cheer on the Seahawks.  A great game it was and we were in full throat, enough so that the neighbors called the cops on us.  While we were proud (and drunk) that we had 5-0 called, it was a bit inconsiderate/douchey of us too. 

As for the Hawks...one of the most interesting teams and great runs ever?  In my experience, for sure.  Preseason favorites rarely live up to expectations.  The cast of characters was across the board but meshed into this lovable highly functional dysfunctional family.  Adversity, injuries, comeback wins, a regional arch rival...all in a city that has been beaten down by crappy teams, national dismissal and hadn't tasted communal joy on this level since 1979.  We watched the parade on Wednesday when 750,000 people came out to throw Skittles at the duck boats carrying the team, and not have one arrest.  While the family felt some regret not being there to explode with the city, we have all been buzzing for days.  I love you Seattle.

So it's been all about the football for the last few days and haven't really noticed much else about what's goin' on around here, other than looking at all these Taiwanese and not understanding why they aren't freaking out too.  I will share a funny (non-football) thing that happened this week, and that was Paul asking me to help him shave.  He's been sprouting a tiny baby moustache, but thought it wasn't ready to go yet.  What I hadn't noticed was him sprouting a patch of long hairs off of his chin and he wanted them gone as they were bugging him.  I'm a little prejudiced...okay, a lot prejudiced...but as a hairy man, have been hoping that he will be able to grow a real beard/have non-scraggly body hair/be a real man, and not get cursed with Asian hairlessness.  I was able to grow a full beard at 16, able to buy booze at a tender young age, and the chicks (some, the right ones of course) dig it.  In my salad days, whenever I had the facial hair going, I used to get more pussy than a North Korean butcher.  However, it is also a curse, having 5 o'clock shadow at 10AM, copious amounts of back, nose, ear hair, basically appearing to be less evolved.  Guess it is just a basic animal desire to have ones spawn resemble oneself.  Early signs for Paul had been positive...the aforementioned tiny baby mustache, bushy leg hair, etc., but this Sensei Master Pai Mei (from Kill Bill) sprouting has me worried. 

 

Anyway, with a little shaving cream and a couple of gently passes with the Gillette Ultra, we tiptoed across a threshold into manhood. 

Week of January 31st, 2014

If you hadn't heard, Chinese New Year fell on January 31st this year.  I won't rehash last years treatise on the twisted mechanics of CNY, but will say that it is the Year of the Horse in the year 4649.  Or 4710...or 4711...or 104, depending on which one of their bizarre pagan rituals you care to follow.  With all of these calendars and how the dates of things change every year, how they get it straight and keep the buses running on time does help explain their alleged superiority in math. 

This year, I am the room parent for Carolyn's 5th grade class.  When I was contemplating volunteering, Betty convinced me by saying that this would be the last chance I'd have to do something like this, which was pretty sage advise.  There is not a lot to do as the kids are old enough to stage their own events, but my job is to ensure that the three yearly parties are organized with the parents properly...one of which was the Chinese New Year party.  We split the 8 classes into 2 groups, and each of those 4 classes in our group chose and activity (either a game or craft) and we rotated the 4 classes through each before we got back together to eat.  They wanted me to do a craft in our class, but as I am the only male room parent, and after explaining to them that I was far more gamey than crafty, they allowed me to do a game. 

Side note, one of the biggest drawbacks of living somewhere where they do not speak your native tongue is that jokes, the turn of a phrase, even basic sarcasm is totally lost in translation.  I thought the crafty/gamey thing was relatively clever on the fly, and the other Western room parent laughed, but the look from all the Chinese moms of "what the fuck are you talking about" is one that I see far too often. 

We came up with a game where we split the boys and girls into two teams, had each group chose a team leader and then each classmate would pick a Chinese zodiac animal from a hat.  The team leader would then have to place the animals in their correct zodialogical order based on the Chinese tradition.  The trick was the kids couldn't use words or sounds and had to act out their animals much like in charades.  I had never learned about why the "year of" animals are in the order that they are, but learned about it...a short version can be found here.  Did you know that a cat was in the mix but was outsmarted by the rat, which became the reason for the cats animosity towards them? 

Probably shouldn't have been, but was surprised that all of the kids knew the story and order...even Carolyn.  Not sure if I approve of her learning about all this black magic stuff at school,  but there you go.  We played the game with each class a couple of times using variations, and very unsurprisingly, the girls teams one every time.  Certainly in the 5th grade, girls are far more cooperative and aren't the squirrely  little shit know-it-alls the boys are at that age.

Afterwards, we had a little pot luck in class that seemed to go well.  Was a bit nervous as most pot lucks I've been asked to organize have been that you smoke a lot of pot and are lucky if you get anything to eat, but everyone seemed to survive it.  And I juggled as entertainment.

 

 

 

As I was watching the girls dissect the boys at these cooperation games, got me thinking about them and wondering at what point do they start to turn on each other.  A generalization of course, but females are known for catty, backstabbing, mean girlness in their teens.  As I am thinking about this, someone posted this essay by Andy Rooney on women over 40 and a part of it talks about how, "A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her."  Andy Rooney didn't really write this, but it has been around the Internet block many times and think there is something to it.  So what happens to these women between 13 and 40?.

 

A little while back, Carolyn's grade had their "Health Week"...or as she referred to it, the Puberty Unit (tell me Puberty Unit isn't a fantastic name for a band).  Was hesitant to ask for details and Carolyn didn't offer many other than how awkward it was to have the class with the boys.  Betty was trying to tell me that I should start talking to her about periods and feminine napkins and I said, "you have got to be kidding, right?"  I think we can all agree that the tendency towards being a mean girl (see Urban Dictionary definition here) coincides with the advent and denouement of the menstrual cycle, but the question as a man involved with the raising of a young lady is, how to guide them mentally to avoid this ugliness when it seems driven by parts other than the brain?  There needs to be a book, or at least a snarky web based tutorial, on this.