It went well, we sold all 1000 hot dogs, generously donated by Costco, and had a net profit of NT$76,320 (about US$2,500). Had a bunch of great helpers, including some yeoman work by the family, and while it was a long day for me 7a-4p, most of it spent in front of the hot grill, it was a lot of fun. Hate it how the camera adds 40 pounds.
Alrighty...it is now time to share my list of the 10 Thing Taiwan Does Better Than Anyone Else. Without further ado...
10 - Geometrically Groomed Pets. Check out this link. This is really a thing. I pass by this shop that has a huge sign out front with poodles hair groomed to be perfect spheres. I have not seen the cube shaped mutts around town like they have in the pictures, but will not be surprised when I do. In our travels, have seen a ton of dogs wearing footwear and clothing, dogs with sunglasses (in Japan) and even one with a fur coat (in Italy), but it seems so right that this has naturally extended to humiliating your pets in Taiwan. Would have thought this would be more of a Japanese trend and am happy to see the Taiwanese leading the way.
9 - Swim Cap Sales. As the only country on the planet that requires all bathers in public pools to wear them, Taiwan leads the world in the sale of swim caps per capita. Data on this was hard to find, but there you have it. When you are in a pool anywhere on the planet and you see an Asian person wearing one, you immediately know where they are from.
8 - Maximizing Costco Membership. One membership goes a long way in Taiwan. To be fair, Costcos are only in the US, Canada, Spain, UK, Korea, Japan, Australia and Taiwan, so it is unknown whether other cultures would out pace them if given the opportunity, and data on this is impossible to verify empirically, but based on anecdotal observations, it is estimated that at least 4 families use one membership card. You can see this manifesting itself in the parking lots while groups of Taiwanese women divvy up their packages of toilet paper like a Clan of Hyenas (Cloud of Grasshoppers/Venue of Vultures?). The most obvious example is the group that gets in line at the cashier and has multiple transactions. No kidding that you see it every time, but my personal record was 1 cart and 8 different receipts. Couldn't have been more that 20 items in that thing to start. As an added bonus, they extend the value of the membership by loading up on the free napkins and chopped onions at the Hot Dog counter.
7 - 7-11 Density. When we were in Thailand, a guide was proud to announce that Thailand now has more 7-11's than Taiwan. He knew that off the top of his head as it was big news there recently. At 198,000 square miles and with a population of 67 million, it dwarfs Taiwan's 14,000 square miles and 23 million people. However, there is one 7-11 per 11,000 Thai people, but one per 5,000 Taiwanese. Suck it Thailand.
6 - Leaving this one open. There are some things that I like from the CNN list of 10 things Taiwan does better than anyone else, like free Wifi and Themed restaurants, that I though about pilfering, but this is a list that should be left open ended for future accomplishments.
5 - Taxi Cabs. Like anywhere, the cabbies here are dicks and will break every law and rule of polite social behavior in getting where they are going/angling to get a fare. This morning, stopped at a red light and turning right, a taxi turned from the left lane in front of me, against our red light, cutting off pedestrians that did have the walk signal, all to get into the taxi cab line in front of the mall. In Taiwan, they combine the three pillars of what you want in taxi culture. First, they are everywhere all the time. If you live in the mountains, you may have to call them to come up, but otherwise, you never have to wait more than a couple of minutes to flag one down. They are cheap...from the other side of town on a Saturday night, it's like 10 bucks. You never have to consider getting behind the wheel if booze is in the equation. Third, they are typically very clean. There are exceptions, like the guy we see every morning who lives out of his cab, and cleans his junk with a paper towel in the road in front of Betty's office, but those are few and far between.
4 - Road Repair Speed. Having been raised to drive in environmental impact obsessed, 1 guy works while 4 guys watch areas like Los Angeles in Seattle, have grown used to a simple project snarling rush hour traffic for weeks. Here, when they tar a street or repair a sidewalk, it's done same day. Sometimes, will drive by a street that is closed for repaving, and when we come back an hour later, they are done and gone. There are no potholes and the streets are well marked and maintained. They do have a problem where different government agencies aren't on the same planning schedule, so there will be occasions when one group will be putting in a new curb, then another comes by a month later and rip it up to install electrical cables, but that feels like a minor inconvenience.
3 - Racoon Faces. I realize that I am an enigma when it comes to rage, most of the time, hovering between mellowness and brain dead, but get absolutely apoplectic when people break the rules of social etiquette. Referring back to the Cherokee from above, I read an inspirational quote the other day attributed to them that seems apropos at this point.
'An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed'
Pretty violent imagery for a child, but still. While these bouts of anger are strong, they fortunately subside quickly. However, I will lash out at this perceived stupidity or at someone being simply an asshole, with a look of disgust, a burst of "what the hell are you doing" or laying on the horn. My go to term in Chinese that I use to yell at people is Da lou lai de (you come from the mainland). In most cultures, you will either get a wave of the hand "my bad" gesture, the finger, or in most parts of the United States, a hail of bullets. In Taiwan, there is only one reaction...raccoon face. To be more specific, the face a raccoon makes when you catch him in the middle of the night rummaging through your garbage cans and flashing a light in his face. No reaction, doesn't run away, just sits there staring at you blankly. And you don't dare go after him, cause he is likely to be rabid. It is exactly like that. This isn't just limited to individuals but can be seen in governmental policy. Am lumping the mainland in here at this point. In the aftermath of the horrific typhoon Haiyan that struck the Philippines in 2013, while countries around the world were sending relief workers and aid in the billions, China (a direct neighbor, which was in the middle of a tense standoff over disputed waters/islands and could have used some good PR), sent a grand total of $100,000 dollars. That was the poitical equivalent of the raccoon face. It is completely aggravating when someone just does not react to crisis, but it is also wildly effective. You never have to do anything you don't want to do, rarely get into an actual altercation and people/countries just look at you in fear you could have rabies. I felt that way this morning while listening to the CNN report that China has told the US that North Korea has 20 nuclear bombs and will have 40 by the end of 2016. There was no follow up like, let's get together to do something about it, just simply, stare at the problem like so.
2 - Personal Safety. It is probably not smart to be complacent on this, but Taiwan feels safer than anywhere else I have been. Not talking about from weather or earthquakes, but from violent crime. Have never been anywhere at any time of day where I feel threatened or have seen anything bad (like street brawls) going down. If I remember that I left my car unlocked with stuff in it, I don't worry and rush back to lock it. I don't have abject fear about the kids walking home alone, even at night. I demand that they let me know that they arrive home safely, cause the drivers are total buttholes and accidents can happen, but not the fear of being accosted or abducted is non-existent. Have been reading about the family in the States that lets their kids walk to the park alone, and the cops taking the kids into custody due to child endangerment. That would never happen here for good reason. It is counter intuitive because the cops are incredibly hands off, but they achieve this level of compliance by having CCTV's everywhere. Everyone has a story, or a friend with one, about how this works. I think I have related this before, but a friend lost a cherished earring in a cab. She went to the local police station and after 3 hours in front of the banks of cameras, was able to discern the cab number from the footage, contacted that company and got her earring back that day. You pull some kind of stunt in Taipei, and it'll be caught on camera and soon enough, you will be too.
1 - 180 Degree World View. The Chinese are expert at seeing what is in front of them. Sorry for another road analogy, but with the amount of freaking bizarre choices the drivers make here, you would think that there would be an accident every other block. Turning right from the far left lane across 3 lanes of traffic is not only common, it is expected. This happens in every other form you could imagine.
Side note, I almost added that the Taiwanese are the best at being unable to eat their own mistakes. Rarely does a week go by where I don't relate to the kids that if they make a mistake, no excuses, learn from it, apologize, and don't make it worse by continuing along the wrong path in hopes it will be all right, just eat it. Hey Taiwan, if you get in the left turn lane and realize that you should be going right, suck it up, make the left and circle back. Don't freaking pull all the way across the gawdamn intersection with your best raccoon face on, stopping everyone else while you inch across to get where you are going.
The fact that no one T-bones these tools is testimony enough that they see what is going on in front of them. It is a very effective way to go through life, but you are missing out on half of what the world has to offer.
I know I've mentioned this before, but at annual Nordstrom United Way meetings, they would show an inspirational video. One had a piece about a personal shopper and he was talking about how he wanted to give his customer a full 360 degree experience. Being a desk jockey and not having a lot of customer interaction, but still believing in "The Nordstrom Way", I declared that I would forever after do my job giving complete 360 degree service. This is a life philosophy that I embrace and try to live at all times. Am not perfect...far from it...but if it is constantly on your mind, you will do the little things that not only make your life better, but those around you too. And it is the little things that matter. Follow up timely on an email (without blindly replying to all), plan ahead using your previous experience, be on time, etc. When you are walking through a door, feel that there are people behind you and hold the door for them. If you are driving, before you change lanes, check the mirrors, use your indicators and move over smoothly (another life philosophy, going through life as if you were a large boat dovetails nicely with this 360 view).
The Chinese/Taiwanese do not do this. When they learn to drive a car, they are told to ignore their rearview mirrors (I will have to detail their convoluted driving school processes another day, it'll explain a lot) and focus on what is in front of you. Not a day goes by where I will see people rush to get to an intersection or doorway, and stop cold while they figure out what the hell they are doing, with total lack of awareness that there is half the planet behind them. The next local that goes through a door in front of me, turns and holds it open will be the first one. I could (and sometimes do) go on forever with these types of anecdotes, and I know that people will space out anywhere, but it is simply the way things are done and no one seems to mind it (other than me in a big way) It is this simple disregard for the "other" 180 degrees that, unless it is changed down to the molecular level of their DNA, will forever hold the culture back.
