Thursday, March 23, 2017

March 23rd, 2017

Said I wasn't gonna post this week, but had a couple of minutes and a couple of things to share. 

Saw this guy on the side of the road across from our Indian food joint...he is in the position that a lot of Asians are able to rest that is totally unfathomable.  They'd make great catchers.  He is bent over, cig in mouth, totally digging at his toenails with his fingers and flicking his findings in the drain.  You don't see that every day.  Weekly maybe, but not every day.


I swear that at the local Costco, whenever the locals get near the free sample carts, they look and act like they just walked away from a plane crash and where they were the only survivor.  Totally dazed and in shock.

Mentioned last time of my secret shame/addiction of taking Buzzfeed quizzes.  Every time say it'll be the last, but they draw me in with tag lines like this...

This Snack Quiz Will Tell You What Your Farts Smell Like


How could you not click on it?  The answer was a bit out there...
  1. You got: An expensive cocktail at a secret jazz club

Had always thought these things were the product of a bunch of millennials gathered in some loft in Austin or NYC spitballing crazy ideas while eating bean sprouts and fried chicken, but after reading the description of my farts below, now realize that these must be researched with the AMA cause they describe my smell precisely.

"With notes of sweet tobacco leaf, vanilla bean, Tuscan leather and a hint of citrus, your farts bring to mind a sultry speakeasy, where the masculine scent of the hardwood bar top mingles with the smell of cigars and cold, hard cash."

My emissions are indeed as delightful as they sound.  In advance of the next time we're together, you're welcome.

Following up a comments from our travel party from the Vietnam trip about Under Armour being in trouble, saw this article confirming those rumors and helps explain why  they are in trouble.  That the CEO came out praising 45 led to a direct tanking of the brand shows the power of the people.  I said "haw haw"

The below video has been making the rounds in the local expat on-line dialogue recently.  The footage of Taiwan 20 years ago, when it was known as garbage island, is powerful.  The buildings are still ugly to look at, but marvel daily at the lack of trash strewn about and now understand why.


Pretty excited to heard to Australia this afternoon.  I spent 11 months there in 1983, mostly in Melbourne but we got around.  Not going back to Melbourne this time, mainly cause I cannot find any of my old friends or family even in this Facebook age.  Have looked for them for years to no avail.  I have so many memories that I am worried for the family that I will be reminiscing non-stop.  In preparation, stated jotting down some of the stuff I remember and am at 3 pages of notes.  That was such an amazing time for yours truly and shaped my soul into what it is today.

As above, so below.


Saturday, March 18, 2017

March 18th, 2017


The above package of mini guacamole cups was discovered at the Costco yesterday.  It may not seem like much to you but is a big progression for food items here.  We can get avocados in Taiwan...the local variety are huge and give a lot of meat, but they are kinda flavorless.  You can buy imported Haas ones, and at the Costco, but they aren't cheap as you can imagine.  Am in a group on Facebook called 'Friends in Taiwan' and is a decent sized group where expats can share tips on the city or get answers to all kinds of questions.  I posted the happy guac news and got a bunch of comments that others were excited too, but you knew it was coming...the crank that says she makes her own and it is healthier.  Sure, making your own is better, assuming you do it right, but is a pain in the ass when you get into a mood where you have to have guacamole now or just want to add some on a breakfast burrito or something.  And who has a ripe avocado at the ready all the time when a craving strikes.  I effin' hate people. 

Need to take a couple week break from the diary as we are on the road the next two weekends.  Headed out to Australia for 10 days...3 in Sydney, an overnighter to Uluru, three days in Carins (actually Port Douglas) exploring the Great Barrier Reef and then a couple days in Brisbane.  Looking forward to sharing it in April.

When I get hurried, these posts get kinda messy and noticed that I missed a couple of important things from the Vietnam write up .   First, when detailing how far we took the boat up (down?) river to see the Hoochie-coo tunnels, I said 17 miles.  Of course I should have said in my best Martin Sheen voice, "17 clicks".  Also, when tooling around on the motorbikes, we would stop at traffic lights.  At traffic signals around the world, often times there will be a countdown clock and have always wondered why some countdown to how long the light will turn red when it is green, and why others will count how long until a red light turns green.  Have looked up studies that debate which one is better, but the ones in Vietnam do both.  Simply genius and tip my driving cap to them for the simplest of solutions.  See, told you they were important.

It is Babydolls birthday next Friday...the big one-four.  In my mind, the most unusual thing about her is that she has never burped.  Weird, right?  I have never encountered a single person where this is a thing.  I know many that get offended by burps, and those people typically have tons of other issues and weird hangups, but never burping seems like a curse.  What an enjoyable thing to do?  I tried looking it up but medical sites are inconclusive...what the hell is a Schatzki Ring?  It doesn't seem to bother her and she is not alone as this stupid '19 struggles for people that can't burp thing from Buzzfeed will attest.  Embarrassing confession...I do look at Buzzfeed and take a bunch of the idiotic tests they give like 'We Can Tell You What State You Live In Based On Your Choice Of Sandwich' or 'Your Pizza Preferences Will Reveal A Thing You Do But Don’t Tell Anyone About'.  I feel stupid after doing them yet still take the bait.  By the way...California and 'You need to watch something happy/funny after a horror movie even though you’re an adult'

The good thing about not burping is that is sounds like it will only be of mild discomfort in life.  I did get a tad freaked out by a talk I heard last week about Third Culture Kids (TCK) and the negatives that arise from being one.  Have probably mentioned that one of the things I do around here is to arrange for a monthly coffee morning at the Community Services Center.  We get a speaker to come in to give a talk on something (hopefully) of interest to the expat community and provide coffee and snacks to the guests in hopes of driving more exposure and interest in the things the Center does.  As the curator, I tend to prefer to book speakers on topics that I am interested in (although will have ones on things I can't stand...like running) and we are friends with a guy that just got his PhD on the topic of TCK.  A Third Culture Kid is one that is from a certain country that spends many of their formative years (11-18) in another culture.  That person then is not a product of their origin country nor are they totally of the one they are living in and they have found that these kids develop their own identity, or a Third one. 

There are a ton of benefits and you can probably guess most of them.  They are able to adapt to new situations well, are more empathetic to other cultures and people, etc.  As our kids will definitely be in this demographic, I wanted to know what some of the potential challenges they will face once the time comes to re-integrate with American culture and hopefully learn how to mitigate those.  An interesting trait is that while they are very comfortable meeting new people, they tend to have problems making a lot of deep long term relationships and most end up marrying people with the same life experiences.   Feelings of disconnection seems to be the biggest worry and it can range from small things, like not being able to drive when everyone else can, to big ones, like profound loneliness.  The speaker said that 40% of TCK girls in college had some thoughts of suicide.  Not many acted on those feelings  of course, but that number was shockingly high.  It is good to know this and there were some tips on how to identify these traits, what to do when you do see them and ways to encourage more activity at the start of the re-integration process to smooth out the ride.  We also were recommended some books to help us understand things in advance.  I know a bit about it first hand having lived a bit overseas in high school and my biggest hole was not knowing/understanding what people were talking about culturally, but it seems these days that the web has blurred those lines pretty effectively.  I did feel saddest for the Korean and Japanese parents in the audience as the speaker said that kids from those cultures have the toughest time as the homogeneousness of those societies ostracize the 'foreign' the most. 


Will be keeping an extra close eye on Babydoll when her turn to go to college comes around because of this information and will do the same for the Boy next Fall, but he doesn't strike me as the type to have issues like these.  I haven't mentioned his application process much as the big dump of acceptance/rejection letters are due end of March/beginning of April and don't want to jinx anything.  Things are way different with the application process these days than they were in mine, almost to the point that they are unrecognizable.  That everything is on-line alone makes it so much easier and they have really nice counselors at their school that know the process intimately and did all the heavy lifting.  I feel for my Seattle friends in this regard.  Was talking to some of the ones whose kids go to the high schools Boy-o would have attended and the topic came up.  They seemed very interested in picking my brain and as you can tell, it is slim pickins'.  I said that we get a ton of info from our schools college counselor (they have several of them at the school whose sole job is to assist kids with the process and the ratio is like 37 kids per counselor) and our friends just sorta looked like I was speaking in a different language.  Seattle Public does not have a single college advisor in their entire district.  I cannot imagine how one can sort through all of the options, figure out which schools would be good for their kids and know they are missing on some opportunities. 

Regardless of where he goes, am really gonna miss that guy.  Thought about that at dinner last night as he eats a ton and will have to alter the quantity and type of foods that get to the table.  Will probably be easier, but still.  I know he won't but I hope he shares stuff when he's gone.  I say I know he won't as he doesn't share it now and that I have to drag whatever info out of him, It is all the little stuff that drives me nuts that I know I'll miss most.    Him swearing at his friends when they are gaming, the BO smell in his bedroom...maybe I'll just start swearing more and bathing less.  Will also miss being involved with baseball. 

Last weekend, Betty and I went down to Taitung for the school's team only "away" games.  Am not going to get into the quality of the school's baseball program as I know some local types read this space and my disappointment with the way the school has handled his class is beyond measure and I my rant would be so caustic as to warrant some sanction or discipline.  I will say that the coaches, particularly the Head Coach, is a great teacher and leader who has made the most out of the situation.  Anyhoo, we flew to Taitung, which is a city of 110,000 on the sparsely populated SE coast and is the heartland of the Taiwanese baseball culture.  It takes an hour in the air on one of these...not a big fan of the prop planes.


  As it is not as cosmopolitan, the opportunities for the young there are less than in the urban centers, so athletics and the potential to make it out of there by playing them is higher.  Our kids practice for a couple weeks and play a total of 6 games, so we are not good.  The kids down there go to baseball schools and we were told they go to class  till 1p, take a nap then go out for 3-4 hour practices every day.  The teams our high schoolers played then were of middle school age and they kicked the crap out of our boys.  It was still a  great trip, the fellas bonded and we saw some baseball.  Boy-o is #24 on your scorecard.


 I thought the above shot was good and his swing looked strong, but you can see the ball in front of the batters box and this effort was a weak dribbler back tot he pitcher.

The ceremonial bow to each other post game is lovely one although I prefer the line-up high five 'good game' ritual mainly out of personal experience.
 Between games, the boys ate their box lunches together in a cross cultural exchange of camaraderie.

 Keep meaning to ask what this little side conversation was about, but is emblematic of what I love most about baseball.  A ton of time to shoot the shit of all kinds. 
On our one night in Taitung, the hotel was on the street in the middle of the towns night market.  The Taiwanese love them some night markets and I liked this one better than the ones in Taipei as it was way mellower/less crowded.  They still had all the lame crap to sell, which is 50% cell phone skins and 50% knock off footwear, and the highly touted but universally awful local street food.  One of these has to be dick.
Had not seen blow torch beef before...


The fellas spent a few minutes together playing the dopey street carnival games.  TCK kids are simultaneously world wise and painfully innocent. 

Betty even got in on some of that sweet mah jong bingo action.  Can easily fast forward seeing her getting banned from the retirement home bingo game for being too aggressive with the other players.
Then the obligatory game of grab ass in the pool.

This is pretty much the entirety of our teams cheering section on day one.  Was tough to get a wave started, but our effort was strong. 
A good thing about Taiwan is that no one hassles you when you want to have a beer in a public place. 


Two polls of expats from 2016 have been making the rounds here that claim that Taiwan is both the best place to live for expats with regards to quality of life and with the friendliness of the locals towards them.  As our only recent experience with this kinda life is being here, can't compare, but have to say that it is surely an easy place in which to dwell.  And these days, feel fortunate to be at arms length from the insanity.

Haven't ranted about politics much in this space lately cause it'd be pointless, know I wouldn't be converting anyone and might piss off the few of you that feel differently than I.  That said, what is going on in just two months of this regime is stunning.  The whole love affair with Russia from the right side of the aisle makes zero sense.  Think I have come to a conclusion as to what went down there...Russia thinks they are a great power and knows that the thing that will restore them to their previous "greatness" is a weaker America.  Side note, they have never been a great power, not even when Communism ruled the world.  They are big and have been blessed with a population that has uniformly accepted their shitty living conditions so accept these dictators without complaint (even to the point they admire their "strength").  So Russia needs to knock the US down a peg and they know (first hand in Putin's case) that Hilary is a ball buster,  They do this hack job on her cause they know Trump is a dolt who will be incapable of forging a coherent plan to roll them back.  No 3D conspiracy by the Trump gang cause they are obviously incapable of that high level of thought.  The old adage to 'never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity' seems apropos.

Trump is not an effective manager as his choices of the best people's performance so far proves.  And he doesn't seem to be a very deep thinker.  I mean take your pick of awful tweet or lack of any original thought.  It is obvious that he has no clue what is in the health care bill ("who knew it was so complicated") and you absolutely know he couldn't possibly have read or  understand the budget proposal from this week as it goes against everything he said on the trail.  His greatest gift is setting everything up so he can put the blame on someone else.  He has hired and listens to the radical side of the Republican party that knows all government is bad, so let's get rid of all of it.  I am totally conservative by nature and am well aware there is waste in government, but what I want, and think any critical thinking person would desire is for our government to work to streamline programs to make them more efficient. That goes equally for the military by the way.   Yes, socialism alone would be incredibly inefficient, but this reliance on the belief that the "market" and the wealthy will take care of our societies ills alone is just as inconceivable.  Rich people are great...they have clever minds for the most part  and have figured out ways to make money, but that doesn't make them philanthropic or even nice.  And I believe that a good reason that they were able to get rich is that they operate in a country that affords them the ability to make money.  There are healthy people that buy their shit and infrastructure for them to get it into the stores, so it is their obligation to pay it back to keep those things going.  It is astonishing that there are so many dumb asses that buy the no tax argument and that so many of them are poor people.  I make it a point to read things from the conservative or alt-right side and do it every day.  It is hard to do cause it is so pessimistic and hateful...I read this thing by Ann Coulter yesterday defending the Russia love affair by railing on the "historic" weakness by liberals against Russia since Lenin.  I mean, forget that Truman and Johnson went to war over Communism or that W looked into Pooty Poots eyes and shit.  But what is just so soul crushing is going down to read the comments.  I don't recommend you do it unless you are the type that likes to pull off band-aids, but the spew that comes out is truly hard to believe and that it likely comes from a person that has a mother or child.  I understand that anyone that comments on a Breitbart Ann Coulter story in the affirmative is the lowest kind of human that we make, but they are the tip of this movements spear, and if you align with any of what is going on...makes my heart sink that someone I know has that kind of hate in theirs.  And where it worst is the immigrant thing.  Again, I don't agree with embracing illegal immigration and am OK with enforcing the laws on that, but let's be fair and punish employers that hire them too.  Doesn't that seem fair?  That people forget, or are just to fucking stupid not to realize that immigrants are what made America the greatest society in the history of mankind is a testament to something.  So they are ignorant or are racist, cause those are the only two choices.  Take your pick...I feel sorry for the ignorant ones cause they are suckers to the highest degree.  We are all suckers in some way and know we are embarrassed by something where we have been duped into being taken advantage of, but critical thinkers will reflect on their own gullibility and vow to learn from it.  There is this vein of the suckers doubling down on their stupidity by continuing to believe they are right when all evidence points otherwise which is why they swallow all the lies as truth.   For the racist ones...I would say I was done with you, but then you'd get off easy.  For the racist ones, I'm coming for you. 




Monday, March 13, 2017

March 12th, 2017

Hey there.

Have said it before, but I get so pissed at the 6am parades for the dead guys.  Bad drumming and cymbals at six on a gawdamn Monday morning is an attack

We get alerts from the local embassy here with things to watch out for around town;  Dengue fever, protests, etc.  I received the below alert the other day and 5 people thought it pertinent enough to forward to me.

We would like to remind all U.S. citizens in Taiwan of the guidance contained in the Department of State’s travel.state.gov website on Taiwan’s local laws, particularly as these laws relate to controlled substances. Over the last several months, the American Institute in Taiwan has seen an increase in arrests related to possession of marijuana. The U.S. citizen community in Taiwan should be aware that penalties for possession, use, or trafficking in illegal drugs (including marijuana) in Taiwan are severe, and convicted offenders can expect long jail sentences and heavy fines. Taiwan also has the death penalty for certain drug offenses. Law enforcement in Taiwan treats all drug violations very seriously.

A new Feelies record came out last week and it is good. If you like the Feelies, then I like you.   Have also had a reawakening to all things NRBQ.  They were a band that I got into in that weird period where cassettes seemed like a good idea and I never had any on vinyl nor CD.  Live From Yankee Stadium (which is neither) is my personal fave and you can get it on iTunes for $5.99. 


And a buddy sent me a link to a review of this Ramones show in Seattle in 1977.  I was a bit young for their first couple few years, but did catch them a few times in the early 80's.  Actually, we ran late to a couple shows and due to their 30 songs in 20 minutes ethos, arrived as the smelly masses were leaving.  Not a good effort of theirs was them opening a triple bill consisting of the Ramones, Tom Tom Club and Blondie at the Greek Theatre in LA.  That had to be the 90's and all three were well past their prime.  The best of times was them at the Hollywood Palladium and one night as they were playing Beat On The Brat, the crowd opened up in front of us and one dude comes stumbling out of the pile while another  guy with a cast on his leg from foot to hip was hammering him with his crutch.  Like I said, the best of times.

Last I left you, was heading to Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam to join Betty for a couple nights.  She was finishing a week of work there and joined her to check it out.  Joining us was a co-worker of Betty whose wedding we attended in 2006.  We met up for a late supper of Italian food naturally.  At the table next to us was a loud table of a group from Under Armour.  One of their party got louder and louder as the evening went on and the savvy executives in our group commented that is why that company is in trouble. 

We really had one day to see the sights and we went for it.  In the AM, we booked a tour to visit the Cu Chi tunnels.  These are not only famous for their hilarious sounding name (and Vietnamese still leads the planet for words that sound dirty in English...their money is called Dong for crying out loud) but of their historic significance  Won't do a deep dive into their history (the wikipedia page does a good job explaining them), but briefly, they are a network of tunnels over 100 miles in length where the Viet Cong based their attacks on the American headquarters in Saigon/HCM) during the Vietnam War, which is called the American War in Vietnam.  Located about 17 miles outside of the city center, we took an hour long fast boat ride out to them.  Our guides name was pronounced "You" and don't know how to spell it.

 She was a delight...funny and knowledgeable and showed us a clip from a CNNGo report of Ho Chi Minh city that she was in.  But can we knock it off with the peace sign in every photo?  More on that later. 

 Assumed this load of humanity had to be from the States, but they were the New Zealand version of WT.  Their group was just ahead of ours while walking around and we literally got stuck behind them in the tunnels.




The big mural behind the booby trap demonstrations showed GI's being impaled in horrific fashion and I noticed that all of the Americans depicted were white.  "You" didn't know if that was on purpose or not but a size able percentage of Americans in the war were black soldiers.  We were told that the tunnels that they opened to visitors were widened to accommodate Westerners, but they were still so narrow to be unholy.  This is an amazing site and made a huge impression as to the surreal nature of war on all parties concerned. 

After the boat took us back to town, we had a couple hours before our evening tour and took the opportunity to walk around District 1.  This is the core of old Saigon and houses the prime examples of French colonial architecture and the hotels where the war correspondents made their reports/got their drink on.  Had a cocktail on the rooftop bar of the Caravalle Hotel overlooking the old quarter.
 You can walk from end to end of these sights in about 10 minutes, which makes for a pleasant stroll.  The People's Committee Building was ginger bread-y
 Unkie Ho.
 And the General Post Office, designed by Gustav Eiffel, is as lovely a building as you'd find anywhere

 After a cap nap, it was time for our XO Foodie Tour.  We all climbed on the back of a scooter with our female driver/guides. 
For the next 5 hours, we were driven all over the city.  Vietnamese traffic is organized chaos.  7 million inhabitants of Ho Chi Minh and 7 million scooters.  We were told more than once than when you cross traffic on foot, scooter or car, just go slow and steady and you won't get hit.  If you make a sudden dash or stop...bang.  It works, and is way better than Taiwan traffic culture.  I've driven in a lot of places and have studied traffic in far more, and am convinced that the driving here is the worst.  Am not talking about traffic, which is not bad in Taipei and is far worse in LA or Seattle, but the courtesy that they show to one another.  Have never been to China, where they say it is worse than here, but if that is your defense...

The girls were very good drivers and we all felt safe immediately.  I say girls cause they have a shelf life in this job and it is customary to "retire" by the age of 27.  The reason for that is they believe that all the shaking of the scooter rattles their lady bits to the point of infertility. 

We rode for about 15 minutes to our first stop and met up with the other half of our group...three doctors from a hospital in Alabama in country for some work with local counterparts in a cross cultural project.  They were nice enough with the most gregarious being the big Russian guy (in the middle). 

I have a nice tan going. 

 The first dish was a lovely bowl of Bun Bo Hue.  From central Vietnam, is similar to pho but spicy and thicker.  Have never been a big pho fan, mainly cause it is a bit plain for my taste, but this was fantastic and will throw it down whenever.  I put a lot of the garlic chili sauce in mine as you can see.
 After a little driving tour of Chinatown, we headed over to the BBQ district.  Giant tents filled with revelers.  Sitting at long tables, our drivers turned into grill masters and they fed us goat with okre (good), beef that was edible, shrimps that were OK, and finally, jumping chicken/frog.  The meat was fine, but as with chicken feet, am not big on the little bones. 






Before our last food stop, we had time for some more driving around town.  Such a great way to see the city.  Our ladies would point out where the Koreans lived, the area by the river where young lovers go to snuggle all the while dodging the other two wheeled 7 million inhabitants deftly. 





My driver just could not stop throwing out a peace sign in every photo.  There are more than a dozen photos of her and she has two (or four) fingers up in every one...even while driving.  I tried to get her to stop, but she was so darn cute that I couldn't yell. 

Last stop was for seafood.  The drivers helped crack our delicious chili crab legs


 Scallops with spring onion and peanuts
 Baby quail eggs with betel nut lettuce and noodles wrapped in rice paper


 Some clams
 And finally, the "highlight" of the tour...Balut.  Betty has done this tour before and kept trying to scare us off of it throughout the evening.  Balut is a developing bird embryo (usually a duck or chicken) that is boiled and eaten from the shell.  The length of incubation before the egg is cooked is a matter of local preference, but generally ranges between 14 and 21 days.  The eating of balut is controversial due to religious, animal welfare and human health concerns.  Betty said that there can be little bones, cartlige and feathers in it.   On the way to the restaurant, my driver asks if I want to eat it in the traditional way, which is just boiled, or if I wanted it with tamarind sauce and peanuts.  Much like bacon, everything tastes better with tamarind sauce and peanuts and Betty had me leery already, so I chose that style.



Betty says I had a look of disgust on my face, but why did she have to work us up throughout the night?  It wasn't bad.  Wouldn't say it was good either, but I got it all the way down and if there were feathers in it, I couldn't tell.    The Russian doctor ate three boiled ones and think he was just trying to show off for his cute driver.  We were the only two of our group of six that went for it...so good job by me.

Coconut jelly for dessert
And some dinner entertainment from a teen age girl fire breather.
We had our drivers drop us off at the other iconic roof top bar at the Rex Hotel for a nightcap (I had a Rexpolitan, which was a pink vodka drink), complete with local cheesy band playing 70's disco music.

 Finished my book poolside in the morning and debated whether to buy the melons offered for sale in the taxi on the way to the airport.
 In local news last week, Betty and I participated in the Taipei version of the Women's March.  I marched in the Pride parade late last year and there were tens of thousands that day. 
 For the Women's March, there were tens of tens in attendance and 90% of those had to be Westerners.  To be fair, it was at 4pm on a Wednesday, and Taiwan already has a decent respect for their females (the President is a lesbian).  It was a decent walk...saw a bunch of girls (and boys) from the American School.  The locals watched us with some curiosity and the only dissenting voice was an American lady straight outta the trailer standing on a bench with her bible yelling at us to "Repent Your Feminism"!  Never thought that feminism was an affront to Jesus, so looked up that phrase.  Here is a delightful link to and article on JesusisSavior.com that'll hip you to the fact that women have been evil since Eve.