Welcome to my diary...the goal is to share with you the sights, sounds, and yes, even the smells of what it's like to be an Imbrogulio in a foreign land.
In another installment of 'bad North Americans in Taiwan', Cody Wilson, 3D gun advocate a-hole was on the run from authorities for sexually assaulting a minor. It was determined that he entered Taiwan before the word got out he was wanted and a man hunt was on. I heard about the story but didn't know of the TW connection until I was at a kids soccer game and a buddy had the local English language local paper. Don't see newspapers of any kind much so was curious and picked it up and saw the news. At that point, Cody (of course his name is Cody) hadn't been found but all of us white guys agreed that it was a matter of minutes before he'd be located cause not only are there CCTV's everywhere, but we kinda stick out. About 20 minutes later, they announced he had been found. Taiwan and the US do not have an extradition treaty, but they had zero problem shipping this waste of flesh back to the States and hope he rots forever.
In "I was wrong" news this week, said I didn't see a way Richmond didn't steamroll their way to the Aussie Rules Grand Final, which is tomorrow, but they were dismantled by Collingwood last week. The breakout star that night was 6' 10" Mason Cox. Great story of a Texan that found his way after college to Australia and is the tallest player ever to have played that game. He dominated last week and a crowd of 95,000 plus Aussies were chanting U-S-A. You don't hear that much these days outside of certain enclaves in the States. He is such big news that he is getting press in American media. Gonna root, sorry, barrack for the Pies over the West Coast Eagles.
Always loved the term barrack, which is only used to describe fandom for Aussie Rules teams. Cool origin of the usage of that word...from Urban Dictionary:
Barrack a term for supporters of sporting teams. In Melbourne, the Victoria Barracks were located at St. Kilda Cricket Ground end of the Albert Park Playing Fields until the 1970's. At the north end was South Melbourne Cricket Ground. BOTH were also used as Football Grounds. In those days, people worked on Saturday mornings until 1:00 pm. Most lived within walking distance of their workplace. Early Melbournian sporting followers and the Barracks Military and Civilian personnel, evolved the habit of "going" to the "football" after work before going home or whatever. The games were not fixtured together, but alternative Saturdays, thus 'trapping' or encouraging the supporters to both grounds EACH week. The South Melbourne Ground was at the other end of the park and necessitated a long stroll. The 'Outer' of the South Melbourne ground was artificially 'mounded' for spectators' better viewing. The perimeter public fence was built at some small distance behind the bottom of the mound, to services for the supporters convenience. Some supporters, along with their sons, arrived earlier for a better location. The sons often kicked a rag or paper football 'end-to-end' to each other to fill in time. Watching was always a group of boys atop the mound and were first to notice the Barrack Personnel walking across the playing fields. Then would cry "HERE COME THE BARRACKERS!" As all young boys well knew, that generally signified the "Game" was soon to commence.
Have a new installment of "Getting Old WTF". This one is only for the fellas cause it involves peeing and specifically, peeing while standing up. When one is drunk, one is wont to lean against something to steady oneself...the wall, a tree, the clothes hamper. You see it at public urinals all the time and that it is mostly old guys doing it. I didn't realize that the old guys don't necessarily need to be drunk cause I have been leaning against the wall to urinate recently. So I do that now. Did a half assed internet search and while there were a bunch of hits asking why old guys hold up the wall when peeing, could find no medical guide that weighed in. Plenty of threads by laypeople that had no interesting insight other than it being a balance need for us old guys, which is the likely reason. Those threads devolved into all kinds of urinating idiosyncrasies that were amusing with the consensus that guys that sit down to pee are viewed pretty dismissively as not being real men.
One more thing for the old guys. Have said it before, but rarely does a week go by where I don't notice an old dude in need of a nose hair trimmer. Women must grow nose hair at the same rate as men, right? You rarely see them with any hairs popping out, probably cause they examine their faces much closer than we do. I go at my nose with a couple different kind of trimmers often and still catch one or two peeking out, so if you ladies have any tricks of the trade on how to stay clean, please feel free to share.
Decided this week that I'm gonna try to let my hair grow till it (hopefully)gets straight. I've had a lifelong problem with severe scalp psoriasis that would get worse as my hair grew out, but that problem went away (either with age or that ayurvedic treatment I bought in Sri Lanka a couple years back). Have always wanted long hair and a Seattle buddy my age that has curly hair sorta like mine has let his grow and it looked cool. So will give it a go and see what happens. This is not a mid-life crises but more of a bucket list item. Stay tuned
Told you I became a Spotify fan recently. Have also become a Hulu devotee. We used Betty's sisters account this summer to binge on Fixer Uppers and liked the mix of old shows and new. One thing I watched was that Louis CK thing called Horace and Pete. An amazing cast and performances, but so deeply depressing Am a noir fan, but this was so dark as to be a black hole. The writing was on the wall that that guy had some serious demons. The reason I mention this at all is that I was so delighted to hear that Hulu is rebooting one of my all time favorites. Veronica Mars is coming back! And Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is joining the writing staff. Oh. My. GAWD!
Speaking of noise, that static programmed drum sound is getting ridiculous. Stop. Why am I the only person that is bugged by this? Are you all hypnotized?
Finally for today, do you notice anything missing? Have not complained about the heat is posting.. It kinda broke on Monday and has been mild (touching the 90's briefly every day, but still) and rainy all week. It has also been a mild typhoon year. One was supposed to come through this weekend, but it made a hard right to the north and it's only gonna lick us a bit
Not calling heat season over yet, but will be able to deal with a day or two here and there so will stop my bitchin'. As a hearty farewell to that nastiness, I leave you for this week with a screenshot from the Weather Bureau's site from a handful of years back that showed the path of a particularly sexy typhoon.
Have shared a bunch about Taiwan as a tourist destination, good and bad. I think it'd make an interesting spot for a few days, more if you are a nature lover/hiker, and only at the right time of year. This popped up in some feeds recently and encourage you to give it a spin (it's only 2:57 long). Think it hits it about right and is kinda fun in an annoying millennial kind of way. Let me know if you are more or less inclined to visit. If you are reluctant to clink on links in this space, search Jam Campus Taipei on YouTube.
What is the right time of year to visit? Certainly not now. I am going to bitch about the heat until it lets up or I immolate, whichever comes first. I know you are sick of me adding these screenshots but I could give a rats...it's 106 right now.
In kids news, the school had their first ever college fair last weekend. They have visiting colleges all the time, but this was the first where they had a bunch together (130 from all over the world) and was open to the public at large. They were expecting 900 but had 1700 attendees, so the place was jammed for the 3 hour show. Whenever I say jammed out loud do so in the voice of Kristin Wiig's character on The Californians as she describes the 405 at rush hour.
Saw a few folks I knew and they and their child went table together, but I thought it better if Babydoll went up on her own as it would be a good way for her to learn how to talk to these college types without risk, and knew that if I went along that I'd do all the talking and make inappropriate jokes. That gave me a chance to eavesdrop on others conversations and it is my firm belief that every current high school kid in Taiwan wants to study engineering in secondary education. Babydoll and I would meet up periodically to talk over what she heard and strategize questions, and think she took a lot away from it. Mom is not happy that I have been pushing Australia as a possible option, but I loved a place called Monash in Melbourne during this visit. As we'll likely be back in Seattle when Babydoll goes, mom thinks it is way to far away and that is a concern to me too, but the Boy will have completed 4 years at UVA and the distance from Taipei to Charlottesville is only 500 miles shorter than Seattle to Melbourne. Add that there are no direct flights to Charlottesville and it would be faster to see our Melburnian. There is a big BIG cost savings to studying outside the US however as we'll likely not be getting any in state discounts. Regardless, the experience with the universities outside of the States was good for her as it opened her mind to things like possibly taking on the IB thing during her next two years at school as many of those require it. Was impressed by her interest in the topic.
As for the Boy, don't recall if I shared the news already but he had to go back to the doctor as his tail thing hadn't gone away. The doctor said he had to go for another removal procedure. Mom had a visit planned last week and they scheduled the de-tailing to coincide with her trip. It sounded like everything went well and when she got back home called him up on the phone while we're driving from the airport. I have never heard him so dejected and in pain. I have raised these kids to not complain...'your arm hurts, well your face is killing me' for example. Kid had a broken arm for two days before I took him for an x-ray and he barely winced. Hate hearing people bitch and I endeavor to not be a complainer myself. If you ask me about something, like why am I limping, will tell you honestly, but will never bring it up. I know I've beaten that into the Boy cause he never whines so hearing him in distress was hard and knew it was for real. He told me today that he is thinking about walking with a cane so people stop asking him why he is walking so slowly. His transformation into Mini-Me is complete.
I was talking to some ladies here about our tails, cause there is nothing sexier to them than a man that is part beast, and apparently shared some graphic shots of his ass in a public posting a couple years ago when he had his first attempt at removing it and it made quite an impression on them cause they recalled it vividly. I will not share the picture of this go around...yet. I have put it at the bottom of this post. You probably won't get to the end of this entry for reasons to be explained, but if you are the type of person that just has to look at the car crash, scroll to the bottom.
Finally for today, going to complete summer travelogue by going back to the beginning and the 10 day/8 show Yo La Tengo run from May 31st to June 9th. Lot's of pictures and very specific recollections that are for my amusement only.
The dates are links to the set lists from that night.
Went with a buddy this night and had arepas before the show. We sit down with our sandwiches and my friend takes a bite. A huge chunk went down the wrong pipe and it came back out and all over me in smaller but still well seasoned meaty chunks. Gross for me, but we laughed. Went for throat soothing shakes at Dick's after the gig. This was also the first night hearing songs from their new album. As I was going to be hearing those a lot over the next few days, was glad they made a good first impression.
The set-up for this tour was two sets by them, no opener. First set was quiet and the second set being loud. If you are doing the math, that's 16 sets.
- Musical highlights: The Story of Jazz and I Heard You Looking.
This shot kind of reminds me of Schroeder from Peanuts. Think that kid would make a similar type of aural scrawl
The week before I left on this trip, aggravated my back something fierce. I stupidly decided to get out of bed is what did it. It was not getting better and got into see my doctor. As they know my history in detail, they hooked my up with the heavy duty prednisone. It'll take another week to get back to normal, but the immediate pain relief was a blessing. Would look back on tonight as being one of the best of this run from a noise perspective. Went to the show with the same friends from last night and had some of the worst pizza post-game at their local.
- Musical highlights: Detouring America, I'll Be Around, And The Glitter Is Gone, Upside Down and Hanky Panky Nohow
Drove to PDX and went to the show this evening with one of my concert wives. Whenever one is on the west coast, you can understand why middle America looks upon it with disdain cause everything is organic this and cruelty free that. Those are obviously good things that the heartland should embrace, but the snobbery with which the coastal elites talk about it is off-putting to even one of their own like me. Anyhoo, while it is a common refrain all along the 5, they really live it in Portland. Hard to explain but everything about that town is green/organic/etc to the DNA level. They don't say that straws are bad condescendingly, they just are and people have no issue with the paper ones or carry their own reusable straw. And beets. They are the new kale apparently as every restaurant has them on the menu and all are so organic that it makes Portlandia's mocking of them seem naïve. At one point, we're at a restaurant and there is a commotion on the other side of the place. Then an ambulance shows up. We ask the waitress what's up and she says "some one learned that the beets they ate weren't organic".
A great show tonight with my friend Malibu. Everyone that I talked to about going to see so many of their shows had the same reactions. First, a look mixing disbelief and concern for my mental health. Then they would ask why go see the same show every night and would have to explain that they play different songs and even the ones they did play nightly always had a different vibe or texture. At $25 per show, I saw them 8 times for $200 total, always within 10 feet of the stage and know most of my friends would go see U2, Maroon 5 or some other relic and pay more than 200 bucks tosit half a football field away and watch on a jumbotron. Third, they would ask if the band knows who I am. I don't think they do. We have had some interactions on email and they always personally respond to those, but they are faceless. At every show I've ever been to some of the band, and always Mr Kaplan, will man their merch table to talk to the fans and sign whatever. Very endearing and atypical, but I have never gone up to chat. I have them on such a pedestal that I don't want to be that guy that thinks he has a personal relationship with them and know I'd act like a weirdo if I did.
On this trip I carried a setlist of theirs I was given at a show in Vancouver a few years ago thinking that one day I would get the nerve to have them sign it but knew I never would on my own. Told my friend about it and she brought it along and took me up to the table after the show to have it signed. She did the talking initially but elbowed me up to him when he asked a question about it. He knew the tour the setlist was from but got the night wrong and gave me a look that he didn't believe my account of the night in question. Then I started blurting out fanboy shit. Ugh. The tour the list was from was the acoustic tour they did with Dave Schramm on second guitar and I asked why they didn't let Dave sing any songs (he played on their first two records and sang a couple tunes on those). Mr Kaplan's face scrunched up and his head turned almost all the way around like an owl. I rallied by asking about food. They recorded several albums in Nashville and as I was gonna be there the next week, asked for his recommendation on where to get the best Hot Chicken. I knew his answer was gonna be Prince's cause I know everything about them, but he confirmed that and told a story about how they were stopped by the Nashville airport TSA a couple weeks back as they were taking some with them on their plane out of town. Then my friend asked if I could take a photo with him. Can you tell my nipples are erect? The dude is 62 years old. Wish my hair was a little longer cause we'd look like brothers
I didn't have any picture frames but it fit into one of those old wedding photo ones...you don't mind, do you honey?
-Musical Highlights: Green Arrow, The Summer, Periodically Double Or Triple, Little Eyes, Artificial Heart an Evanescent Pez Drop
Had brunch with a few Taiwan friends that recently move back to PDX. They told me of a new sport outta Japan...competitive Pillow Fighting. Looks like a blast and would be a sexy co-ed sport.
My show buddy decided to take the night off so went to this show solo.
Musical highlights: Pablo And Andrea, Mr Tough, Cherry Chapstick, Today Is The Day and encore with Peter Buck and Scott McCaughey. Fred Armisen was watching from the wings.
After spending 4 nights with them playing their new songs, found that the ones I liked were now beloved friends. Out Of The Pool in particular was one that always satisfied.
Went to the two Fillmore shows with my brother in law. He is one of the few that gets the attraction and is all in on the noise. Heard the band say in Seattle they rec'd a song request via email, and have been hoping to hear them play my personal favorite song for years so sent an email for Swing For Life, which they honored this night. Love them for that.
Another treat tonight was their special guest. I like the band Calexico quite a bit and they were playing around the corner the same two nights. They brought the whole damn crew over to play the encore. Sublime...like they had been playing together for years.
Musical highlights: Swing For Life, Can't Forget, Before We Run, Shaker and Sugarcube
Something to love about the Fillmore is that they give stuff to you as you exit. It has always been a tradition to give apples to refresh you for the ride home, and a poster from the night. Look forward to framing this for the Cave one day.
A show with a ton of noise. There is something about the racket they make that resonates with yours truly. When I hear classical or opera, it makes me uncomfortable, but 5 minutes into their screeching roar and I am in heaven.
Musical highlights: Fog over Frisco, Awhileaway, Stupid Things, Drug Test, Decora and lovely Monkees cover during the encore.
The Fillmore is a shrine
Next evening was a night off from the Yo La Tengo's and took the opportunity to see the incomparable Jonathan Richman. He is simply adorable.
Picked up a buddy from Taiwan that moved to Santa Monica and met another pal from the old LA days at Vim for pre-game meal. No need to tell you how fantastic that was. A perfect way to start off the night at a new venue in the heart of downtown LA. It was both of these friends first Yo La Tengo shows and don't think they walked away as converts. Might be because this was the least exceptional of the 8 shows...the all LA band encore was pretty special.
Musical highlights: The new stuff has become essential
Next day was the last of the run but the day was free, so my old LA buddy and I did a pilgrimage to Arcadia. It was Belmont Stakes day so went to watch Justify become the 13th Triple Crown winner at the Great Race Place. Was just like every other time there...a gorgeous day with zero luck.
The obligatory visit to Taco Lita followed which made the day a success. I bought an extra one for the flight out of town the next day and consciously put it in my bag for a TSA experiment. Something about burritos and meat ball subs sets off their scanners and my bag gets pulled for secondary inspection every time. Sure enough, the TSA guy finds it wrapped up in my bag and asks me what it is and got to say my favorite TSA line..."it's my emotional support burrito".
Second show this run that I went to solo. I love going to shows with friends, but going alone is OK too, especially to see Yo La Tengo cause no one else has the same reverence for them. Have a particular spot I like to stand, which is 3 people back from the stage and off to the side in front of the monitors. It is rare when being front row has the sound well mixed cause you get the wash from the stage monitors. Most folks don't like to go to my spot cause it is too loud and/or crowded. That said, tonight I walked in and there was a spot on the stage right in front of Mr Kaplan.
Musical highlights: Alyda, Tony Orlando's House, Nothing To Hide and Story Of Yo La Tango.
New favorite phot of them.
At the end, not only did I not regret seeing all of these shows in a row, but felt great about that decision. I thought I would feel sad it was over, but knew that I had tickets to see three more shows in Japan in October. And they added a fourth night to that. Real excited to be able to share that with you soon.
You made it...here is the post surgery photo of the spot where the tail was.
Talk about tearing someone a new asshole. One day, a very special someone is gonna see all these scars and he'll have some 'splaining to do. Hope he comes up with some funny lines.
Had a disturbing dream the other night. Don't read a lot into my dreams, but this one shook me a bit. In it, was in the kitchen and there were cockroaches everywhere. Have been a bit more OCD than usual this week with regards to my cleaning regimens.
We don't see many of that kind of critter up on 16, but they can fly and with a nice updraft can easily make it up to our place. Here is a blown up version...
That bad boy was on the balcony and they freak me out. The shell is three times the thickness of an M&M. Was on the street the other night and someone had left a big fluffy piece of cake on a bench and one of these things had burrowed its way inside and you could see both its ass out the side and its antennae sticking out of the top.
Will get this out of the way...it was not over 100 degrees for two straight days. Barely cracked 90 even. It rained a lot, but as a true Seattleite went out into the fray. Temps immediately went back up to well over 100 since and we still have a month of this weather, but those two days were glorious. For me alone apparently. Have spent the last few effin' hot days listening to people...my people... thankful we are back to the weather that warrants extreme heat advisory warnings. Locals wear jackets when it is 110. I am definitely in the wrong climate for my pH
Was out on the field the other morning and it was blisteringly hot when a lovely guy asked me how I was doing and responded reflexively "I hate this place". I don't. The people are lovely, it is safe (as long as you stay away from expats named Oz Diamond) and things are really easy as is evidenced by the annual review of countries for expats where Taiwan ranked #1 for quality of life. I may have to check out this Ecuador.
Couple more local stories in the news to share. Talk among the expat community since we've been back was about a couple of North Americans involved in a drug deal gone bad where a local was killed. This story has everything. Drugs, tattoo parlors, extradition treaties, even a decapitation.
There was also a well written story about Taiwan's single payer health care system that anyone with interest in what it may look like for the States should peruse.
Movin' on...are there any Catholics out there and if so, why? Yuck...
Have said before how much I love digital picture frames and the one we had was an early generation that was not user friendly and could only hold 112 snaps. It would crop or rotate those in bizarre fashion. We upgraded this summer and the new one has a massive memory and works great. Has a bunch of features that my pre-internet brain is having a hard time grasping, but the basic slide show is flawless and the picture definition is amazing. Will often catch myself sitting mesmerized at the photos of people, places and plates of food. Spent a couple hours going through our photos to pick out winners and found this one from our first year in Taiwan. Babydoll was an eating machine at that time and wrote that the fridge was like her locker in magnetic letters, Must have thought it funny enough to take a snap.
What is notable on that snap is that it was taken in the Spring of our first year here as the trip magnets were from our first X-mas vacation in Italy (magnetic Monet has been a part of the family for almost 20 years). We have been travel monsters since and magnets have become one of our keepsakes. This is what the refrigerator looks like today.
So many memories. Told the kids they are gonna have to do a snake draft when mom and I pass to split them up coz we all have our favorites. Every Picture Tells A Story.
Pinnacle Rod. I repeat the line "My body stunk but I kept my funk" all the time. Don't think you could get away with covering it these days though. If you did, you'd have to be careful with this verse...
I moved right out east, yeah On the Peking ferry I was feeling merry, sailing on my way back here I fell in love with a slant-eyed lady by the light of an eastern moon Shanghai lil never used the pill, she claimed that it just ain't natural She took me up on deck and bit my neck Oh, people, I was glad I found her
Finally for today, have been close to abandoning Facebook. The whole ethical thing has been a bummer, but the real reason for considering saying goodbye is that the inane posts outweigh stuff that is interesting more and more. However, saw something this week that restored my faith in the medium and could be perhaps the greatest FB post ever. Have copied it below but changed the person's name to FB lady and left out the photo.
"I got a free black sweatshirt from IBM at a conference yesterday so I decided to put it in my bag today to give it to a homeless person when I come across one. I saw this guy begging and he was wearing only a thin short sleeved undershirt on a cool day.
FB lady: Excuse me. Would you like a sweatshirt? It’s new. Guy: yes yes! I’m cold. (He puts it on and was so happy and excited he went to the window to look at his reflection) FB lady: can we take a picture? Guy: why would you want to take a picture with a homeless person? FB lady: we are all the same.
When I had already crossed the street and looked back he had gone back to the window and was smiling at his reflection.
I do a lot of random acts of kindness and never post but my friends encourage I post to encourage and inspire others to do the same."
Wow. Incredible, no? For some context, I mentioned the high school sophomore girl that got shipped off to boarding school last week? Guess who the mom was. She said in a previous post that her daughter begged to let her go away to school and can understand why.
The use of dialogue is one of the tropes I love to use from time to time. Telling how she gave away a sweatshirt...a fucking free sweatshirt... as an example of one of the many random acts of kindness has to rank up there as one of the least self aware moments in FB history. Betty was so inspired that she is going to take the toiletry kit from Business class and pass them out at a homeless shelter like she is Santa Claus. Doing kind things when you can is most people's default mode right? I don't look for a medal when I hold the door for the guy in the wheelchair/very able bodied hot chick, nor do I alert the media when donating to the Goodwill, but maybe I should? How would God ever know?
Hard to pick a favorite line, but perhaps when she took the picture and when the guy asked why she wanted one with him and she said, "cause we are all the same" is mine. You know she took it to post this shit. Pure gold.
That's General Public's 'Hot You're Cool' and tool around singing that song a lot these days. I need to whine for a second. Won't take long but need to state for the record that the heat is killin' me. We have been back for exactly one month and the lowest 'high' real feel temperature of any day has been 106 degrees. Had to listen to Seattleites complain when it hit 90 for two whole days in a row, and those evenings cooled off to at least the low 70's. We may get into the 80's at night on occasion, but more likely it is in the 90's all night long. Sorry for math problem, but this is science run amok. When I talk to you and you ask me how Taiwan is, and I reply 'it's effin' hot', just nod or say I feel for you. Am saying it only cause it is the first thing that comes to mind and have to clear my mental slate to move onto something interesting. What I don't need is you equating it to that summer back in Aught 6 when it got hot for a week straight., or telling me you're from Alabama or Arizona, cause there are either breaks in the wave or it cools off when the sun goes down. It is seriously messing with certain body parts that will remain unnamed. This was Wednesday.
Think I'm joking...how about yesterday?
I simply cannot understand why they even have a 'Real Feel' designation. If it feels like 114, then it's 114 no?
That did not make me feel any better. You know what does make me feel better? Swearing.
Think I suspected as much, but that article talks about studies that show the benefits of cursing. In addition to it improving tolerance to pain, which explains certain personal predilections, a person who swears is effective at communication, is honest, tends to have higher IQ's and larger vocabularies, performs better at exercise, and is generally calmer. Fuck yeah we do.
I have a confession to make. I am an idiot. 'You finally admit it.' I can hear you say. I have never been an early adopter of technology and sometimes do so near the end of that versions life. Was about a decade late to the iPod for instance. I have heard it talked about for a few years now and the Imbros bought the Spotify Family plan a year ago. We all got our own accounts but I never logged in. Over the summer, saw a bunch of people using it and decided to dial it up when we got home as we purchased a dedicated computer just for media to hook up to the TV and stereo.
Spotify is a perfect way to digest music you love, want in the background, or check out new stuff. While it doesn't have everything, it almost does. All the stuff on my list to check out, things that I heard live years ago at some festival but never dug into, all of it. And for a few bucks a month, the savings are amazing. The amount of money spent on music in my life has to be in the tens of thousands and would easily pay for a year of the Boy's college tuition. Probably spent 100 bucks on CD's this summer alone. Haven't played anything else since logging in and find stuff from my favorite bands that I didn't even know existed, even from my beloved Yo La Tengo. Artists will post playlists of stuff they love to help you discover more and it also has most of my favorite podcasts. I am a cheap ass so knowing how dumb I was to ignore all the recommendations at my own expense frosts my butt. I really hope that the artists make a few bucks from them cause that is a concern for me, but I was buying CD's almost exclusively used anyway and this may get more into their pockets...at least that's how I'm trying to justify that ethical conundrum. A must have.
Speaking of tunes, something happened here for the first time since we arrived in 2012...saw a local band that kicked ass. Couple of buddies said there was a record release party on a Sunday night and that the band was noisy. That description was good enough for me so we went down to Legacy to see the show with the three bands. Had seen the first one somewhere and they had some moments, but never took it to 11, even though they were capable of doing so. This one was a bit too precious.
Second band was instrumental. They rocked OK, but instrumental bands always sound proggy, which isn't in itself a deal breaker, but has to be done just right for my taste. This one was a bit too sludgy.
They were fine, but bored after a couple so stepped outside for most of their set to watch the show going on outside of the LBGT film festival going on next door. A nice feature of Taipei is that I was able to walk outside of the venue with my cocktail. Maybe that isn't allowed and they just give the white dudes a pass, which wouldn't be surprising, but drinking alcohol in public seems cool as long as you behave. The opening bands sets, while decent, were mercifully short. Didn't have high expectations for the headliner, named Crocodelia, but as they used to say in my day and age, they blew my doors off. This one was just right.
Led by a couple brothers from Taoyuan, whoever was introducing music to them at a young age had good taste. 60's garage, high energy and visually appealing, they kept us enthralled throughout. They have three songs on Spotify if you are so inclined.
Really great to have some local tunes to enjoy and a surprisingly awesome Sunday night out with all the like minded fellas. Now if we can just find some delicious local food...
This school year has seen a couple more acquaintances of Babydolls leave to go to boarding schools in the states. While I appreciate there are situations where sending 15 year olds to the other side of the planet is beneficial, got me wondering what is worse for a kid...home or boarding school. Feels like child abuse either way to me.
It was my b-day the other day, same as Beyoncé, and the Google banner on the search page was wishing me a Happy Birthday John. What's next...telling me that eating the whole box of cookies isn't a great idea or congratulating me on how well I rubbed one out?
Something I forgot to talk to my doctor about was the particular hearing problem I've been having. Not that serious and should be worse with all the abuse I have put my ear canals through, but there is a scenario where I notice it greatly. Doesn't happen often, but in a crowded and noisy room, I cannot hear anything clearly and it becomes this ear splitting roar. Was in a room last weekend that started mellow, but as it filled, could not hold any type of conversation and the pain became so great that I had to leave the party. My mom gets it too and wonder if this is a thing that is hereditary or happens to a lot of us. If I had brought it up to my doctor, suspect she'd say "yeah...that happens".
One thing I did bring up with my doctor that I left out last time was this problem I have with regards to jokes. When we were with Babydolls friend in San Francisco, after another one of what my mom calls my "little comments", the friend says that I am really dark. That hit me hard and thought about it that night like Robin Williams character did after his first meeting with Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting...an existential crises. I do not consider myself a comedian per se, but am always trying to make people laugh. It's kind of a problem cause it is my default setting. During every conversation or interaction, am looking to make some kind of comment that will make the other person laugh. And then another, until it goes all the way to the lowest/dirtiest/grossest It is kind of bizarre and don't go into any of them with that in mind, but it just happens reflexively and involuntarily.
Tell this to the doctor, she feels my skull for a few minutes and asks some questions like "have you taken any blows to the head?". I reply, "many", and she says that it sounds like I may be suffering from Witzelsucht. I wouldn't expect you to read that whole description, but here are a couple of excerpts...
Witzelsucht is a set of rare neurological symptoms characterized by a tendency to make puns, or tell inappropriate jokes or pointless stories in socially inappropriate situations. These patients have difficulty fully interpreting a joke's content, but can recognize the importance of the form of a joke. Patients with witzelsucht often find non sequiturs, slapstick humor, and puns funniest since these forms of humor do not require integration of content across sentences. Early cases of witzelsucht observed damage to the mesial-orbital region of the frontal lobe.[5] In general, damage to this area results in puerility, disinhibition, and an inappropriate jocular affect.
OK, none of the part about talking to my doctor about it is true. I came across this disorder by accident somewhere and while I thought it was kinda funny, sounds a bit too on the nose, no?
Cleaning through the summer notebook in an effort to put it away soon, made some notes about America and trends we saw during the summer break that found their way in on more than one occasion. In no particular order or coherence.
- Words...have a couple friends with jobs in the HR field and we had talks about words that are now interpreted differently than they used to be. Weird, different...lots of things on gender. The consensus is that us older types are having a real tough time keeping up, and being correct politically is being used by certain elements on the right to complain about their political rivals, with some justification. They go too far obviously, using attacks on PC culture to justify their intolerant beliefs, but they do have some reason. This is an intensely evolutionary period culturally and language is a part of it. Total faith it'll work its way through as it always does, hopefully without too much destruction, but to the youth of today (and you will be old and out of touch like us soon enough), go easy on us older types. Don't think we're bad cause we use the wrong words, but explain it to us without accusing first. You're right in most cases and many of us will try to understand. Might be grumpy about it, but still.
- Lemon wedges...I like a lemon in my vodka rocks. This summer, nearly every time I asked for one from the bartender, he/she would reach across the bar top and angrily wring the fucker out into my cocktail like they were drying off a pair of underwear. Was there some change to the Bartender Encyclopedia? Felt unwelcomingly aggressive. The assault on all of us with fruit infused liquids continues unabated.
The clever design did not keep the fruits entrails from mixing with the H2O
- Mr Darcy...what is it about that character that gets ladies all hot? In every interaction he has a stink face, is never happy and shows such deep seated signs of repression that you want to have him lie on a couch and 'ask him who did this to you?' You know your never gonna get anything but a deep conversation on etiquette with that guy. It has to be cause he's rich no?
- Fireflies...are cool
- Forgive, but don't forget...heard that one all over. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with that. I forgive you for that heinous thing you did/believe in, so let's share some nachos while I keep thinking about what a waste you are? I am more of the mind to agree with X when they wrote "Your phone's off the hook, but you're not."
- Ice cream...did you know that they don't make 1/2 gallons any more? They are all 1.5 pints now. When did this happen? Get that they didn't want to raise the price and that Big Ice Cream colluded to trick us consumers. Someone pointed it out to me as I hadn't noticed, but become enraged every time down the ice cream aisles ever since. Not much we can do about it obviously, but be aware. And does anyone remember the Pepperidge Farms Lido cookies? They were the best and have completely disappeared. Research shows them discontinued in 2013 so they could focus on other varieties. I suspect another conspiracy. If we weren't so fat, I'd suggest we rise up to fight these injustices.
- Doctors...if you aren't licensed to be able to put a narcotic, surgical instrument or digit inside my body, do I have to call you Doctor? Bill Cosby is a "doctor" but is going to jail for doing two out of three of those. I totally respect the huge amounts of effort you dedicated to your studies, but just because you read a lot of books and put together a thesis on some topic that the other egg headed "doctors" deemed plausible in a pyramid scheme to justify their own titles, I am not feeling it.
- Distressed trucker hats...are a thing for old guys now. They were everywhere throughout the States this year and while they used to be the headwear of millennial hipsters, they jumped to the cargo short crowd over the last year. Knock it off old guys and while your at it, shave those gawd awful soul patches off your wrinkly old ass faces please. You look ridiculous. Yes, I am the fashion police
- Flopping...watched some World Cup this summer and the longest I went without seeing this flopping for a call move was 4 minutes. Pretending you're hurt to gain an advantage is OK with you soccer purists? They could legislate that out of the game instantly but we've all agreed it's cool? Tell me another sport that has anything like it? When I talk to these soccer aficionados not a single one likes it or is willing to defend it, but gives that 'part of the game/culture' shit. Soccer could be a great sport but until this gets fixed, you're a fool for watching. Any American that gets off watching MLS is just into European cosplay. Whatever. we all have our peccadilloes, but I am all out.
- Gameshow hosts...are all black guys bow. I like it, but every one seems like a bit of an overcorrection. Have written often about how great Wayne Brady is in Let's Make a Deal, but they are rebooting even the shittiest of games shows and putting any available black guy behind the microphone. Joker's Wild with Snoop Dogg?
It is brilliant, but still.
- Back-up cameras...was in 7 different rental cars this summer. All different rides, both foreign and domestic, and since they are all relatively new models they had the latest in back up camera technology. It has come a long way from just looking straight back and they now all have a fish eye capability that let's you see what is coming from the right and left to almost 180 degrees. Brilliant in parking lots and while it would be impossible to know how many lives/broken bones they have saved, am sure it is a lot. Another new feature we had in one car was this yellow indicator light near the rear view mirror that would engage if a car was in our blind spot. Once you got in sync with it, it was so valuable and can see them being standard in next year's models. Kudos.
- Siri/Alexa...has gotten a bit out of control. I heard "you've gotta get it" at least a dozen times. I'd ask why and they would then ask their device what the weather was or to change music, which never worked quite right. The only time I enjoyed it was when someone told their device to tell them a joke. Went something like. "Is your dog a French poodle, cause it is going Oui Oui all over." Not bad. Am not feeling a need to get it, but as with Spotify above, am I just spiraling down the same ignorance toilet as always? While I understand that any computer has a risk of recording you, does having a device expressly designed to silently listen and record every word or grunt you utter turned on all day and night sound like a good idea. It's like having a creepy dude silently watching you all the time. Ick. Additionally, no one ever thanks Alexa for doing whatever and perhaps if they would, maybe we'd have a nicer society.
- 57/29/11...listened to an enlightening guest on the Ezra Klein podcast about racism in America and made me see things in a new way. Yes, we all know that the Fox News watching geriatrics have that shit ingrained from a life's worth of experiences and getting it out of them will be close to impossible, but this podcast shed light (with statistics) about something we all know...that all racial groups have racist leaning against others. The Mexicans hate the blacks, blacks against Asians, etc. etc. From my experience, the Asians hate all y'all. Anyhoo, the statistic that shed the light on what is part of the root of this problem is all about is this...the average age of a white person in America is 57. Blacks and Asians are surprisingly the same at 29 years of age. Latinos average age is 11. Do with that what you will.
- Nose rings...why? You know that they put rings in bulls noses as they are naturally aggressive creatures and having them in their nose will make it hurt when they try to fight with another of their ilk. I saw a ton of humans of all genders wearing these things and at no time did I think it looked attractive. These people must get laid, probably with the dudes with the slave driver beards, but they have to be coated with dried snot all the time, no? This trend must stop. How about we stop hiring these tools, especially in the food service industries, which is probably the only field in which they are remotely qualified?
Weed...as it is legal recreationally on the whole of the west coast, it was a topic of conversation. Each year it seems more socially acceptable, and am not thrilled that it has replaced alcohol as the vice of choice for our high schoolers (and I do get the hypocrisy of that statement), but what is now obvious is that it ain't going away anytime soon. There is just far too much money in it for anyone to say 'nyet'. The amount of dispensaries proves that it is a successful endeavor, so business is on board. Betty was telling me that their biggest flower suppliers are getting out of that biz and switching their fields over to the bud. Politicians love it cause it is fresh cash for them to spend. Even the Thumpers are having a hard time coming out against it cause there has been zero evidence that the crashing of society (and cars) has been accelerated. I wish I had that ability to see the investment of the future cause somebody is gonna figure out how to become the Starbucks of weed and the folks on the ground floor of that are gonna get filthy rich.
- The Homeless...are everywhere. Perhaps the weed from above is having an affect on society, Homeless have been everywhere since I was old enough to be aware of them, but what has happened on the west coast the last few years is grotesque. Have mentioned it in the recaps from all our stops along the 5. I think I brought up the subject with everyone I talked to this summer and my question was always, why, what changed and who are these people? Most people kinda threw up their hands and those that did offer something were in clichés. My Seattle friends had the most to say as they wanted to submit Amazon to a head tax to pay for the problem was a hot political button recently, but was surprised to hear that these folks from all sides of the political spectrum agree that was a mistake as that the government had already thrown a ton of cash at the problem with little success in alleviating it. What the debate was lacking was a comprehensive sociological survey and analysis as to where these folks come from and what it would take to get them off of the streets. Is it cost of housing, mental health, lack of resources...all of that, or none of it? All the governments seem to want to do is build more housing, but have a hard time understanding how that solves the problem. Some school or think thank needs to roll up its sleeves and interview as many of these people as they can and only then can there be some real studies to identify the real sources as to why these people are out there and come up with realistic solutions to start to turn it in the right direction. I cannot blame these homeless folks cause I just don't know and while I feel bad for them, want them off of the sidewalks and out from under the overpasses. C'mon U-dub, you got enough bleeding hearts at that dump to devote some resources to this.
Finally for today, am gonna tell you the nasty thing I said the other night at school. That was obviously a tease cause you know I was gonna share, and since I'm feeling very witzelsuchty this morning, now seems like a good time. Am burying it down here cause while it isn't really too racist, it is extremely mean and some folks around this town do read this on occasion and hope I can slip one past the goalie.
We're at back to school night and the teacher in one of the classes is a slight of height man of Irish descent, complete with the red hair and an accent out of central casting. He starts talking and I type on my phone to Betty, "I wonder where he is hiding his Lucky Charms".
Did I mention we were going to Ireland in December. I may not make it out alive.
