October 31st, 2021 Q2

 Hey there,

Day two is here.  Starting this after lunch, which was quite good.  I know.  It was a cup of fruit and veggies, and then there was a hot and sour soup and then a fried cutlet.  Looked like one of their pork specials, but was filled with ham and cheese.  I would actively seek it out on the outside.  So far so good on that.  Betty loaded me up with PB&J fixins but have to open those up as of yet.  If I come out the other end liking Taiwanese food, I just don't know what that'll mean.

Speaking of coming out the other end, the toilet in this place is how I imagine those in heaven working.  

Looks like a normal toilet, but lemme share some of its features.  The lid/seat opens when you walk near it, and will flush and close itself should you leave something in the bowl.  Weird to have it reacting to your presence, but that just makes it my best friend right now.  Will get close to it sometimes just to have it acknowledge my presence.  But that is not what makes it special.  On the wall next to it is the control pad.

They say that there is more technology in your (fill in the blank) than they had in the Apollo missions, and I swear that this thing could easily direct you to the Sea of Tranquility and back.  There are buttons on the top that you can push for a pee or poop depending on what you have deposited, and then buttons that will raise/lower the lid and one for the lid and seat if you are a dude and just need to pee.  The buttons yo see here starting from the left are Off, then two speeds of water to wash your rectum (Rectum? Damn near killed 'em.).  Next to that is one for the lady parts.  I haven't tried that one yet, but it's only day two and you know I'm gonna get in touch with my feminine side soon enough.  And finally, a warm air dryer.  Still working on the buttons below that but suspect they regulate the temperature of the water/air).  I could Google translate the buttons, but it is the mystery of what could happen that is the spice of life.  Air travel, especially a 12 hour jaunt from the States to Taiwan, typically does a number on my bowel movements.  I now put a couple of prune juice cans in my luggage to jump start the flow if needed.  But so far, it is all systems go and in fact have pooped 5 times in the last 24 hours.  Maybe there is some hidden ingredient in this Taiwan chow that they keep a secret...ancient Chinese secret perhaps.

Way too early to complain about the isolation, and with the technology can chat with you all.  What gets me at this point is not being able to go for a walk.  I should be doing some stretching and resistance work...maybe tomorrow.  OK, not tomorrow cause football is gonna be on all day, so the next day.  

Where to start on America this summer.  I went back and looked at the thing I wrote after a couple weeks and those observations held true.  Traffic was markedly better.  All the locals bitch about how lanes were cut back to add bicycle only spaces, but the shit ran smoother.  I wanted to tell these folks that there are people out there that study traffic flows and that sometimes what works is counterintuitive, but like with some of this stuff, getting people to challenge their long held beliefs is not gonna happen.  

With that in mind, want to share my feelings on Jon Gruden.  As a Raider fan since January 1976, he has been part of my experience for a long time.  It was funny when they likened him to Chucky, and he had a moment with us that saw Raider Nation rise to some prominence (until the Tuck Rule).  NFL announcer and back to the Raiders for a contract that was stupid from its conception.  I wasn't a fan of that deal nor of him.  Great brain for offensive schemes, but blind to defense and it was obvious that his interpersonal relationships with the players blew.  I was hardly surprised when the vile crap he spewed came out and good riddance is how I feel.  Here is the thing.  I am a privileged white boy from the valley, and everything that guy said in those emails was the language of my youth.  Walk off a concussion, women's legs are mere pedestals for their titties, and the black shit all were familiar.  Things from your childhood get baked in for better or worse, but then what happens?  For me, I got out.  Study abroads, school in DC and then these last few years traveling everywhere, it is seeing how others live and love and hate.  Not that you can't do that if you never leave home, but suspect it is harder..  I fight the thoughts ingrained in me all the time and it leaks out more than I care to admit and the kids are right there to point it out when it does.  

What the whole affair shows though is that the groups on the bottom are right when they complain the game is rigged.  Gruden coached a group that is wildly black yet he not only skated through, but was promoted to upper management where his take on race was so reprehensible and his power to hire/fire absolute.  When blacks, or women or whomever says the game is stacked against them, believe it.  It's a good place to start. .

October 30th, 2021 Q1

Hey there,

It's been a while.  It is October 30th and I just arrived back in Taiwan.  The rules here are that any arrival into the country must be under strict quarantine for 2 weeks.  Not only that, but you must quarantine in a government authorized location and Betty booked me at the Tango Nanshi, which is located in downtown Taipei.

My thought is to write a daily entry to document my fortitude in handling this isolation, or to give you a peek as someone slowly loses their mind.  

The flight from Seattle to here was quite good.  I think.  Plane left at one in the morning, so was tired to start, but with a Zanax, a stiff whisky (Kavalan...Taiwan style) or two, and a couple/three of the PNW's finest edibles, I slept a good 8-9 hours of the 12 hour flight.  My flight attendant (Vivian) commented that I was a good sleeper.  Vivian also offered at the beginning of the trip that there were two bathrooms for us to use in Biz class, but the one on the left is bigger and would be good for me.  Damn.  There is a matter of fact honesty that some would call brutal in these types, but as a dealer in brutal honesty, have to take it in the spirit in which it was intended.  In this case, so fatty can take a dump in comfort.  

Don't know how many places have this level of quarantine, but there can't be many.  They are getting their vaccination rates up, but not yet to the level where they are willing to let down their guard and have seen next February as the date where enough will have received the shot to let down this particular restriction.  

Upon arrival in Taiwan, you first hit a group of folks right outside the jetway in full hazmat gear that confirms your documents.  This group does not mess around either.  The form I completed in Seattle was on-line to them and they didn't like something, so had to renter it all again.  I'm hungover/jetlagged and am obviously lost, so a dude comes up to help.  He has similar problems with the data entry, going 'huh' several times before calling in the supervisor.  She takes another good 10 minutes and several 'huh's before it finally clicks.  Then onto the regular Customs people.  The locals love telling me what to do...which bathroom to use, what line to go in, etc.  Nothing gets under my skin more than being micromanaged, but this is the land of it.  Baggage carousel is next and they take longer than usual to come out as they spray them all down with disinfectant.  Next, you follow the ropes to a covid test...this one is a spit kind.  Betty had been through this before and she was parched and it took her a while to cough up enough luggies to satisfy the tester.  I stayed fully hydrated and have never had a problem dredging up a good spit.  The test people were a little impressed.

After that, you go to the taxi stand.  No other choice as you gotta go directly to the hotel as shown in your docs.  Before getting in the cab, they spray everyone down with more disinfectant.  Neck to shoes.  Front then back.  And then lift up the shoes so they can spray the bottom of your feet.  What about my balls dude? Something is always incubating down there.  

Taxi ride was uneventful.  Many of the drivers here outfit their rides with shrines to whatever.  Usually it is some stuffed animals, religious medalions, and at least 3 screens.  This driver had three gorillas above her navigation screen that I originally thought were the See/Hear/Speak no evil, but on closer inspection, they were Think/Pray/Hear.  I wanted to know more but alas...translation difficulties.

The hotel room is fine.  Am sure I will document it more later, but it has a balcony, so that helps.  No one ever quite understands me when I tell them how shitty Taiwanese food is.  I can tell they think I'm just crazy cause "Asian food is so good".  They bring you three meals a day to the room...there is a 30 minute delivery window, they drop it off on a table outside the door and ring the bell.  They must ding dong ditch cause the hallway is empty by the time you get to the door.  

Have had three meals delivered today.  The first thing to note about them is that they are all cold.  I get it...boxed meal from somewhere outside the hotel it is gonna be cold.  There is a microwave in the room, so that helps.  Here is a picture of dinner.

Some root veggies bottom right, three cherry tomatoes and half a golden potato bottom left, and then three chunks of white meat chicken over a bet of angel hair pasta with maybe some butter on it.  Flavorless all but not entirely inedible thanks to the Ghost Pepper sauce I packed.

I went to our PO mailbox one last time yesterday and they were selling sauces and had a rare stroke of brilliance to buy the hottest one they had.  And this shit is H-O-T.  Instant nose run.  Made that chicken go from Taiwan bland to ass kickin' with a couple drops.  

Oh yeah...that brown stuff at the top was a mystery at first but was the famous red bean soup.  Sounds good, but the only thing worse than the blind leading the blind is the bland leading the bland.  I'd eat it if I was starving, but it has the taste and consistency of rainwater filtered through a nearly clogged drain.  

I haven't seen the requirement myself, but am told that you can't have booze in the quarantine, and I am not a big drinker so thought it'd be fine without, but at the gate in Seattle was a duty free store so I figured that was a sign.  Took a bottle of Johnnie Black to the counter and the lady said $42, but tells me they are having a special on the Johnnie where two bottles only cost $58.  I mean, would you say no?  So I have my precious brown, which I am enjoying now.  Hotel is very responsive to my request for ice, so I got that going for me.  

OK...that's enough for today.  Am in that part of the jetlag where things are just not all firing.  And I just finished my second stiff pour and am feeling it.  Will try again tomorrow.  Have all kinds of notes about the 5 months spent in the States to share and have the time, so we'll see ya manana.