December 26th, 2021

Hiya,

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  Around here, that means giant pink insulation Christmas trees.

Saw a clip of O-45 where he claims he won the war on Christmas during his tenure.  He added that everyone now loves Christmas...Christians, Jews, Muslims.  I'll add the Asian religions to that too.  What a knob that guy is and I blow a gasket whenever I hear someone praise him by saying things like, small business owners loved his tax cuts.  The absolute best thing I could say about anyone that votes GOP these days is that they are willfully ignorant.  And they are gonna take charge of stuff in this next election...you just know it.  Step up your resistance people.  Call them out when you can and make them have consequences.  I have suggestions.

One thing I loved in the old holiday times were getting the year in review letters from some people about their families.  Always wanted to write up a parody version but realized some dopes would think it true and didn't want to embarrass the kids.  Now, people just blurt their shit out on the toilet in a constant stream, and a few of us still post blogs, but this year was one of a significance for our clan and yours truly and thought I would put down some of the bigger events in print to document it.

2021 saw:

- Mom passed in January.  Think about her a lot and miss our chats.  A lot of my friends moms/dads passed away this year too.  We used to go to a lot of friend's weddings, then it was our kids b-day parties, now we commiserate on our mutual losses.  What's next?  I'd like to think it'll be sharing pix of our grandkids, so will go with that.  And that is by no means a hint to my children.  

- Lost two beloved kids to mental illness this year too.  Seems like forever since our baseball guy took himself off the field, yet think about him in some way every time I go out for practice.  Another dear friend's son, who we've known since he was in diapers, lost his battle with his demons recently.  I try to find words and they are never there.  

- Betty and I bought a new house (and car) sight unseen and they are major steps in the next part of our journey.  Together...for better and for worse my dear.

- I got two new knees that will change every step I take for the rest of my life.

- Both kids graduated (with distinction!) and moved onto the next phase of their lives.  So far so good.  And they both seem like caring and thoughtful humans.  If you know me in the least, am loathe to use the word pride...but I am so fucking proud of both of them.  Really.

That is some major shit. 

Okey dokey...how about some Taiwan road work?

In our neighborhood the last few weeks are parked these little pink trucks with vials on the roof.  

Mobile botox.  I get you want to appear younger and the look good/feel good thing but I smell underregulated and under trained practitioners injecting some weird shit into your face.  Cute trucks though.  

Digging through my saved Taiwan News articles from the summer, will share some today dealing with transportation.

This one has video of a 'horrific' scooter accident.  It isn't one of those articles that is written in the goofy get my thesaurus style, but the video is brutal.  No one was seriously hurt but there were a few broken bones.  Hesitate to point it out, but a woman blew through the red light.

In other scooter news, heard about this before I saw it as people were mighty impressed.  A family of 6 on a scooter!  Is nice to see them all with helmets on, and am stunned that the fine for the infraction, which is possible for any more than two on a scooter, ranges from US$9 to US$18.  Other than the video of the sextet, I enjoyed the shared community comments, and many were about how these folks should be celebrated for having so many kids.  Taiwan has the lowest birthrate in the world and there is a low key but prevalent campaign for people to get busy.  

Will stay on the roads to finish the local news section for this week.  Surveillance cameras caught a dude getting out of his car in one of Taiwan's long ass tunnels in the middle of the night and doing some dance moves.  I think it is adorable, but of course it is on surveillance cameras cause everything is covered by cameras in this place, which is why I publicly urinate a lot less in this country.  It is also noted in this article that the fines for failing to follow signs is US$33 to US$66,  The true mystery here is, what kind of music is this guy listening to that would compel him to dance in a tunnel?  I get that the acoustics are probably pretty cool in there, but these people's taste in music is rat shit, and certainly undanceable.  

The James Webb Space Telescope launched last night.  Watched cause I'm a huge astronomy nerd.  Watch tons of videos about all that stuff, and one of my go-to podcasts for sleepy time is called Astronomy Cast where a an astrophysicist and a science journalist will take on a topic weekly.  They've been doing it for 12 years so it is almost endless.  Not sure when or why this became a thing I love, but was reading a guy I like on a sports website that does a weekly mailbag column, and the question was what was the greater human achievement; the development of penicillin or man landing on the moon.  The author went with the moon landing and the last paragraph of his explanation put words as to why I think I love space stuff so much. 

More importantly, it represents both the ambition of mankind and its ability to fulfill that ambition. It’s very easy to get bogged down in Earth’s bullshit. I know. I have Twitter and everyone there is constantly giving each other reasons to feel like absolute shit about everything, all the time. I fucking hate it. Meanwhile, this is potentially the greatest—and only?—intelligent civilization in the history of the universe. You can think, you can see, and you can dream. And what better use is there for all of those faculties than reaching out across space and time and SUCCEEDING? People go to church for comfort, to remember that there are things beyond themselves and beyond the grasp of everyday living. I think about space in the same way. It takes me out of the day and sends me somewhere else, and I’m forever grateful for that.

Not much to report on knee rehab.  No unusual setbacks, just dealing with throbbing pain that gets a bit less each day.  I think it is about the same as last time, maybe a skosh better,  but too early to tell.    Supposed to get off the walker on Wednesday when I have my follow up doctor visit, which will be nice cause then I can start going out.  He let me start driving at two weeks the first go around, and that was on the right knee, which I still find absolutely insane yet I got in the car that afternoon.  

Am definitely taking it slower this time, which means that I have more time for watching stuff.  The show I have adopted is The Expanse and am all in.  A show about humanity 300 years in the future with Earth, Mars and the asteroid belt population (called Belters) vying for dominance. Am a couple of seasons in and it is well paced and is evolving in a way that it is keeping me guessing.  During the day, it is either NFL, or whatever I can find on ESPN+, which is usually women's league cricket from New Zealand.  Very calm and pastoral.  And the announcers accents are so cute...New Zealanders have the most pleasant of the English accents in my opinion.  On Thursday, watched a spirited match between the Canterbury Magicians v The Northern Brave Women, and it was a warm day.  The crowds are not huge, maybe a hundred or two surrounding the oval, but they were selling ice cream, and for the better part of 3 hours, the announcers would see a shot of someone eating an ice cream cone and then comment on their method of eating it.  One guy licks around the edge, another is a biter, then a kid is licking their arm cause it dripped down it, and finally, the announcers got their own cones and had a lengthy discussion about how tasty they were on a warm afternoon.  I think I fell asleep for a good hour or so of it...great viewing.

December 19th, 2021

Hey there,

100% knee talk today.  

Made it through.  Not gonna say I wasn't nervous, what with them digging into my body in such a violent fashion, but certainly more confident than the first go around.  Surgery was on a Tuesday and it is Sunday today.

Checking in on Monday afternoon went pretty much the same as last time.  Blood pressure, chest x-rays and an EKG (complete with the stickers to adhere the nodes to my hairy chest that were painful to rip off and in the room with the cot under their winter coats).  There was one new wrinkle in the pre-op checklist with the nurse this time. Should preface this with the fact that the nurse was kinda cute.  She went through all the items, like do I have a family history of hypertension, how much do I smoke, blah blah, but this lady seemed to focus in on my alcohol consumption.  Betty had to translate my intake of booze, which isn't really regular.  I'll have one with dinner many nights, and will toss 2-3 back if we are out at a party or something, but something got lost in the translation cause it came back to me via Betty as her saying that 'sometimes when people drink a lot, they get delirious after anesthesia and to prevent them from hurting themselves, she may have to tie me down.'  Oh really...  She then asked if I had any questions,  and I said in my best sexy voice, you know the one, "does that cost extra?"  I made Betty translate it to her and got zero response, so either the joke didn't land, or she is a professional dominatrix.  Little tip to the kiddies out there, every nurse is a sadist to some degree.

I got a new hospital helper this time.  At hospitals here, you have to have someone in the room with you at all times cause the nurses don't have the same responsibilities as they do in the States and there is no way Betty nor I want her in there taking care of business.  We liked the last gal from the first knee OK, but she is choosing not to be vaccinated and can't come into the hospital.  I don't know her situation and she may have a true issue with the vaccines, but good riddance to the anti-vaxxer.  In retrospect, she was nice to have around, but really was a lump.  

The hospital sourced a helper and then called back saying that with my size, they were gonna get a dude instead.  Makes sense.  These folks have no qualms in pointing out my size.  The doctor said he is inserting longer posts down the femur to support my weight.  I appreciate all of that, including the honesty.

The new guy was local and speaks no English, but he is well versed in what this orthopedic hospital does and how people recover from this type of surgery, so way better.  And he knows all the secret spots...even took me out in the wheelchair for a puff the afternoon after the surgery.  Dudes name is Bear.  Love it.

A poop paragraph here.  That evening after the surgery, I wasn't expecting to poop cause anesthesia is constipating, but I had to go.  Bear gets the wheelchair that has the poop hole and bucket in it and I take one.  It felt pretty big but got a look at it after I got up, and it was the biggest load I have ever created, and I would never kid about the size of my load.  It was as big as a large ear of corn.  I feel bad that Bear had to deal with that monster, but nurses are simply the best kind of humans...in addition to being sadists.

The first night is completely brutal.  Pain pain pain.  I took all the meds they gave me and supplemented with the oxycodone that I had squirreled away, but still ruthless.  Not 'tie me up I've been a bad boy' ruthless, but close.

The next morning, the nurse came in and asked if I wanted to go home that day if the doctor approved.  Absolutely.  He came in around 11am and said I was good to go.  I went home on day 3 last time, so figure day two was that much better,  He is not too chatty but seemed extra happy with his work this time.  He said this knee was in way worse condition than the first knee as there was a lot more trauma and bone degeneration.  The right one was far less stable and way more painful for years and would have guessed otherwise, but dude knows his knees.

Then he told me of the unusual problem he had this time with some existing metal.  Here is what it looked like pre-op.

There are a couple of pieces of metal in there from a previous ACL replacement.  The one on the top was not a problem, but the one on the bottom was in the way of the replacement part stem.  The screws are part of me now and could not be removed, so he had to drill a piece of them away using a diamond saw.  I asked him if he had to use a hammer of some kind and he said he did.  I thought I was hallucinating, but must have sorta woken up during the procedure and heard metal on metal hammering.  It sounded like a movie where miners are going at a wall of copper ore with a pick-axe.  In retrospect,..Fucking-A.  

Hard to see the screws protrusion if you don't know where to look, but he said it was all good in the end.  The procedure took at least twice as long because of the extra work.  Remember looking at the clock before the lights went out and it was 8:20, and think I recall seeing it as 10:52 on the way out.  It took 45 minutes the last time.  He said it was physically hard to do, but that he was strong and made me feel his bicep.  It was impressive.  Dude is gonna be a grandfather in a few weeks.  

Last thing he said was that my knee bones are small.  Something about my patella measuring 29 when it should be at least 33.  Probably is a contributing factor in all the problems I have had over the years.  Here is what half-assed internet research said. 

Patella height ranges from 22 to 38 mm with mean 31.33 

So I have the patella size of a demure Asian lady?  That explains a lot.  Thanks genetics.

OK...scar picture time.  They took off the bandage the day after the surgery and here it is.

Not too gory.  This time, they sold me some compression socks.  Not socks really, just covers the ankle to the bottom of the knee, so whatever you call those.  Leggings?  They look pretty cool...kinda like Lebron James.  Supposed to wear them for 4-6 weeks. We pay in cash and the total out the door, including all the surgery/parts and hospital stay was NT$144,000, which is $5,179 bucks.  Expect to get that back minus deductible from our US health insurance, who has to be delighted at the cost of the bill, so it'll be about US$1,200 for the pair.  Amazing.

So intake was Monday, surgery was Tuesday AM, and I got to go home on Wednesday.  Since one of the knees as been repaired, pushing off to get up after sitting down has been easier.  Bear came home with us and stayed till Friday.  I do not claim to be an expert in grading physical therapists, nor am I alone in thinking I have a decent bullshit detector, but I do have a decent amount of experience with PT's and my BS detector is pretty damn good.  I think that now that I have quite a bit of cobalt in me, that I am receiving signals from the beyond at a much higher frequency.  Here is what 56 years of experience has taught me about PT.  It is an effin' scam and the practitioners are failures at real work.  That is harsh as there are people that really invest in learning and adapting, but for the most part, these people learn a few exercises and then belch them out to their patients without taking into account anything about their situations.  They all love that electro-pulse thing and strap that on ya for 15 minutes, then ice you down for another 15 and call it a day.  That electro thing is borderline useful at best and you know it.  People just like it cause they don't have to do anything but can say they went to PT.     Betty is going to a place here for a shoulder thing that has been bugging her for months and she says they stick her in a machine and it pulls on her arm.  I think the most egregious example I ever saw was when my mom was getting up there in age and her mobility and strength was starting to decline.  Might have even been after her head injury.  Anyway, she gets a guy recommended to her and she likes his energy and attitude.  Sadly, having a great attitude doesn't translate into having brains.  Or common sense.  This guy straps my 80-something year old mom into a rowing machine of all things and her back is tweaked for months.  I know I wrote that up at the time, but it pisses me off still.  That dude was really a sweet guy and he came by my mom's room when she was recovering from stuff just to give her some company so feel bad about slamming him, but that's my mom.  

Have a few more examples but my anecdotes really aren't fair.  There are some true heroes in the industry that work with people that are truly disabled and do the Lord's work.  The reason all this came back into focus was just how good Bear was and that the others pale in comparison.  He obviously has experience with my particular recovery as he knows the right exercises and stretching and can explain why they are important.  I was worried about bruising I had last time but he said it was not only normal, but a good thing.  Little things like that.  

Swelling and blood flow are a real issue and concern, but he had plans for that.  First some light massage first couple of days, but then he did this move that got translated to me as releasing my bad chi.  I lay down and he puts his shin on my upper thigh, where the most swelling is, and puts his entire body weight on it.  For a long time..at least a minute but felt like longer cause it hurt bad.  He'd roll it around a bit for max pain, but after he was done, I could feel a release of pressure in the leg and what I would call endorphins all over.  He said that this isn't an every day process, and only needed to be done a few times and came back to do that only a couple times after he was done staying with us.  We insisted on paying for these return visits and he said that he could not accept payment cause doing so is the right thing to do.  He did add that it has to be done between the hours of 11a and noon, or at 11p and midnight cause of something to do with the Earths' axis, so that seemed a bit mystic to me but am I gonna argue?  Have seen enough in my time to never scoff at this eastern medicine stuff.  The thing he said that convinced me that this guy knew his stuff was when he was talking to Betty and asked if my prostate was OK as he felt I wasn't peeing enough and getting enough water.  My prostate has been OK so far according to my doctor, but he was totally right in that I have not been taking in enough liquids.  I monitor the color of my urine closely (you should too) and it has been dark yellow the last few days, which is a clear sign of not getting enough water.  Don't think many would argue that being well hydrated is a positive and especially during a time of intense recovery, and that he picked up on that told me all I needed to know.  One other thing he said was after looking at my ear lobe and said that I had wrinkles in them, which could indicate heart issues.  Maybe its cause I love too much, or possibly that I eat a lot of crap and smoke/drink.  Not a huge mystery for Colombo to discern, but still.  

He also added that I was fortunate to have this knee doctor as his opinion was that he is in the top 5 in all of Asia.  Fortunate indeed.  It has been exactly 5 days since surgery and I already feel great.  Still a ton of pain and aggravation at not being able to do anything, but way better than at the same stage as last time, which can be attributed to having a good doctor, wise helper, knowing what to do (like early ingestion of prune juice), and perhaps most importantly...what not to do.  A common question I get asked about having new knees is if I'm gonna start running.  For one, you obviously don't know me at all.  Jogging across a street when the walk light is blinking red would be the ultimate for that.  It's been 20 years since I could move properly, so just learning how to walk with my head up, and not scanning the ground looking for a crack in the sidewalk that would send me crashing to the ground is gonna be a process.  Since I've spent a ton of time on the knee this week, here is a brief history of my leg issues.

1984, in separate incidents, I broke my left heel jumping down some stairs in front of my dorm and blew out my left ACL after an uncontested layup playing basketball.  The ankle never healed properly and I did nothing with the ACL for 15 years.  Those two things kept getting worse and since I was favoring the right leg, it started to show cracks, probably due to my abnormally petite knee bones.  Finally went in to see a doctor about it and they were skeptical, but took a picture of the knee and sure enough, said that a new ACL was needed.  Did that surgery, but the recovery aggravated the ankle to the point that the knee guy took a picture of it.  Will never forget him coming back into the room after the x-ray and asked, "were you in a serious car accident?"  This has to be late '90's if memory serves.  The foot doctor says he has to reconstruct and fuse the ankle bone, taking some marrow from my hip to do so.  That was a major surgery and have a good 18 inches of scars to prove it.  All during these years, the cartilage in both knees had been compromised and had several (4-6?)  procedures to "clean it up" to the point that both knees were now bone on bone.  In 2008, after our best softball season where we lofted the comically large trophy, I went to the knee doc again and he said that my playing days were over and that I needed new knees, but that I had to suck it up till my 50's cause if you replace them too early, they wear out and the next set lasts half as long.  So here I am, solidly on the down slope of my mid-50's and this will be the first time in 36 years where I will be somewhat normal.  I really don't know what that means but am excited to find out.  Not looking for any sympathy cause it is what it is and I did it to myself, just thought it might shut up anyone that thinks or says I am a whiner.  Every step I've taken in at least 20 years has had some amount of pain.

Here is my goal for the end of 2022.  Last weekend, was at the park where a bunch of baseball fields are to coach some kids, and on an adjacent field was our cousin's husband Lucas playing on his over 50 baseball team.  He said they can always use dudes and that I would be welcome to come out with them, so getting out there, playing some third base and running out a base hit is the goal and will be working towards that in 2022.  

12/12/2021

Hey there,  

Know I have said this before, but the level the locals go to with the mask wearing is extraordinary.  Amazed every day that I do not see a single person walking around without it covering their nose and mouth properly.  On the track I go to exercise on, some people will take them down, but about half keep them on while running laps.  And there hasn't been a single locally transmitted case reported in over 30 days.  If the States went one day without a case, there would be a tickertape parade.  I know it is like comparing an apple to an orchard full of apple trees, but still.

Haven't mentioned the kids much lately.  I don't bring them up in conversation out of the blue for two reasons.  First, they are both in good spots in their lives and don't want to jinx it.  Second, some folks are not as lucky and theirs are going through tough times and you never want to be that person bragging on your kids to people that don't care or that you may make feel bad, so I only offer updates should people ask after them.  If you are here, I assume you are curious, so here goes.  

The Boy seems to be in a decent space.  Last I heard he had a special friend, enjoys his j-o-b, and dog sat for his cousin (my sister's kid) a couple of weeks back.  The dog survived.  I didn't want to say anything but the last time that an Imbro dog sat for a Post, the dog didn't survive the night.

Babydoll seems to be thriving in her first year. Last I heard, she has a special friend, and samples all the offerings that a big university has, like basketball games and lawn lighting ceremonies.  She attended the Freshman, excuse me...First Year Formal and here is a shot of her and her girlfriends before they headed out.  

Made me happy that she was the only one to not wear tennis shoes.  Must be all that Nordstrom DNA.  And Betty said she was the best looking of the bunch.  I didn't include the photo with the special friend out of respect for her privacy (and that the nature of relationships at this age could mean that  they may be kaput in the near future and don't want to record that).

She joined some dance production at the school and enjoyed it so much she is considering minoring in it.  As we dance aficionados say...merde.

Wish we could have gone.  The Boy drove up to represent us.

One more brag.  Last Spring, the kiddies graduated from their respective High School and College.  We saw The Boy's diploma and while it is hard to see in this photo due to the flash light on that part, it reads his degree was with "Highest Distinction" 

Thought that was quite impressive.  It happens that he was visiting Seattle with a college buddy that also graduated in the same school, and his degree also came with Highest Distinction.  May have read the dictionary wrong or just had been a bad student, but can there be multiple highest's?  

When we got back to Taipei, the school had us pick up an award for Babydoll that she didn't receive in person as the end of school was shut down due to covid.  Hers was for Academic Distinction.

I goof on the schools these days cause it feels that everyone gets an A and they grade on these curves that'd make Hef sit up and take notice, but upon research, is not a gimme.  I tried to bait The Boy into making a joke that B-dolls wasn't Highest, but he took the high road and said he didn't get the same in High School and that B-doll is a better student than he was.  If I'm ever baiting you into saying something awful, the high road is the only way to win the game.

Regardless, they are both quite intelligent and obviously get that from their mother, and just hope that they do something good for the universe.  As Eleventh Dream Day would sing, Two Smart Cookies.

I go in on Monday for knee replacement surgery.  Old lefty will be shiny and new come Tuesday afternoon.  Went to get my pre-op pedicure yesterday so I'd look presentable to the nursing staff.  Pushed it out far longer than normal to maximize the time they'd be clean post-op, and my toenails were so long that it'd make a lemur envious.  I'd share a photo, but know there is at least one foot fetishist on copy.

Feel better prepared this time as I re-read Know What To Expect When Your Expecting a New Knee, which I wrote..  Think that I'll be able to move better during recovery as I have a good knee to balance on/push off from.  And in anticipation of round two, hoarded all of the kids meds they had leftover from previous medical procedures.  They had some good stuff and experimented with them during quarantine to know which ones did what.  Wish me a speedy recovery.  

Finally, over the summer, saved a bunch of local news articles with the intention of sharing them with you at a later date.  Haven't found the time or whatever to do so in earnest, but will leave you today with my favorite.  

Black Friday fight at the Costco.

To entice you to click on that link, two guys had a disagreement over the queue for the after Thanksgiving (which they don't celebrate here) sale of Herbal Essence shampoo.  This article has everything, a blow by blow description that would make Bert Sugar blush, dudes in flip flops using rudimentary kung-fu kicks on each other, Costco...  And the whole thing wraps up with the actual video, including the knockout blow.  Mangia!

December 5th, 2021

Hey there,

Always think at the beginning of the week that I have nothing to share, and something always comes up.  This week, Babydoll made an admission that I knew was coming but didn't think she would admit at such a young age.  She went to Boston over the T-giving break to see a friend who got tickets to see a show.  Pink Sweats at some little club.  She'd only been to a couple of shows and they were at big venues for things like Ariana Grande.  She said that she now understands why I love to go to shows cause the tickets were only 30 bucks and she stood right up the front...and loved it.  I was beaming with delight that she arrived at this conclusion.  When I said that you should listen to what your old man says instead of rolling eyes/scoffing, she said that doing those things were her responsibility as a child, and I can see her point.  Maybe next year I can coax her into attending one of the Yo La Tengo Hanukkah shows with me.  I would certainly have gone to see Pink Sweats with her, although that might have embarrassed her into catatonia.  It would be a joy to share concert etiquette with her

Another unrelated related thing this week was that I  attended a talk by a cross cultural consultant.  It was billed as East-West intercultural communications, and it was perfectly fine.  Her spin was that on one end of the spectrum in countries like America and Australia, people speak in low context and state concisely what they want and mean, whereas in societies like Asia, the speak in high context with much nuance and the listener having to infer meanings rather than having it spelled out.  In Thai, they don't have the word 'no', but rather yes and not yes. That kind of thing. This comes from the West being derived from the Socratic method and eastern thought being more Tao.  I've been around this topic since my study abroad when I was seventeen and have heard the same talk dozens of different ways, and it is good to hear the differences in cultures called out cause some folks are new to the game and need to hear it, but for old timers like me, find it more annoying cause the bottom line is simple.  When you are in a new culture or an environment different than yours for the first time, your outlook has to be that the things you experience are not weird, but different.  

I was 17 years old and there was a group of 30 of us exchange students about to spend a year in Australia.  On the bus that took us from the airport to the school where were to have a day of orientation, one of the exchange group leaders said those words and they ring in my ears whenever I go somewhere new.  This got me thinking about all the snippets of things I have heard throughout the years that have rang true and have become part of my outlook and life philosophy that I lean on almost every waking minute.  How to act at a show or in a new country....or at work, school, around the dinner table, etc. 

So I decided to make a list of those things.  I blasted out the below in 25 minutes pomodoro style and intend to put these in a list and polish/add to it for a few months/rest of my life.  Consider me a prospector.  I have panned the river of life and separated out a few nuggets, put them in a sack, loaded it onto my burro and am delivering them to you.  I do not profess myself as a philosopher nor claim any of these as original.  Many of them are from song lyrics (none from Bob Dylan).  I welcome your thoughts and input.

- Always say a person's name before saying what you have to say, they will pay attention that way

- Stand in front of someone when they fail.  Stand behind them when they succeed

- Kids should always be taught to refer to adults as Mr/Mrs/Ms/Dr./Professor/Coach and then their last name

- Never ask a child/anyone a nebulous question unless you want a 'fine' as an answer.  Never 'how was school today', but rather, 'what did they talk about in history class' or 'why did you choose that color in your drawing'.

- Always give a choice of two things rather than leaving it up to the child/anyone.  Never, what do you want for dinner/time for bed.  Rather, do you want pasta or chicken/do you want to brush your teeth before or after you watch some before bed videos/TV,  This works for adults just as well.  Giving people power to choose from choices that are beneficial to you both gives them power.

- Obey the laws of Maximum Capacity.  When two lanes merge into one, don't merge early but go to the end of the lane and zipper into one line.

- Related to the above, always allow the one/one zipper to occur...don't drive up the person's ass in front of you to cut off the natural order.

- Don't litter.  It is OK to pee outside if you really gotta go and there is no bathroom

- Ask for help when you struggle.  Asking for help, from a teacher/mental health professional/etc., is not an admission of personal failure.  

- Related...waiting to the last minute to do an assignment/project will ensure that it is not your best.

- Related...do your best and move your ass

- Being the person that is chronically late is never cute.

- If someone is being shitty to you, consider that they may be having a bad day or have some stuff going on in their life and give them another chance

- However, there are times when you have to cut people out of your life.  Think about it long and hard before you do as it is never an easy decision or a pleasant thing to do, but the alternative is worse if you determine it to be the right thing.

- You must try something 11 times before you are allowed to say you hate it.

- Never say "I am proud of you" unless you created the person out of clay or from the rib of a man.  You are taking ownership and credit for their accomplishment.

- When you are wrong, say it.

- 'Thoughts and prayers' is empty bullshit.  Always.

- Saying you are not a racist automatically makes you a racist.  Everyone has some racism in them and you should always be looking for ways to get it out of your system.  It is easy to go online and support a (fill in the blank) business.  

- Extremism is always bad.  Big business will never look out for you/big government will always become corrupt.  Start from the middle and work your way out.

- Take a nap.  Every day if you can.  1 hour is the most efficient.

- Take a walk.  Every day if you can.  

- Tell a friend when they wear something stupid/listen to a friend when they tell you you're wearing something stupid.  Your girlfriend/wife should not be considered a friend in this instance.

- If you want a tattoo, write down what you want and wait one year before you get it.  If you still want it, knock yourself out.  Just please don't get it on your face.

- Speed them up when they go to slow, and slow them down when they go too fast.

- Be patient with old people.  Also, they know stuff.

- The kids of today are not (fill in the blank).  You were likely worse in your day.  And they often have good takes on life, so listen to them too.  Except for their music...that stuff is garbage.

- Protect kids from making big mistakes and let them make all the little ones.  What they wear to school is rarely a big mistake.  

- Once your kid hits 20 years old, your work is done.  

- If you wear dress shirts, wear an undershirt.  Pit stains are for life.

- Sometimes, a person's wiring is messed up and you should call an electrician.

- Never argue with improving the view.

Imbro/Post/dogs

Stairs are Imbros mortal enemy

Distintion, highest

Friends basketball pants

Stay fresh cheese bags