August 23rd, 2015

In my fervor, forgot to finish the sunny/yang side to TW traffic last week, and that is the infrequency of accidents.  I saw a ton of rear-enders this summer, especially in Seattle and have to think that it is due to people losing focus due to their phones.  What happens on the roads here is so intense, that if you take your eyes off of what is in front of you for a split second, you are bound to hit a car veering in front of you, or a scooter that came out of your blind spot.  So, cheers to Taiwan.  I just started reading a book called 'Traffic' by Tom Vanderbilt, and it is about the psychology of the road and best practices.  I understand that this diary feels like a driving blog many times, but a couple of chapters in and have been both justified and called out as a hypocrite.  More to come...

On our way to the States this summer, took the opportunity to make a 6 day layover in Japan.  We decided to check out some towns on the island of Hokkaido on the northern end of the country.  The main town there is Sapporo, famous for its beer, 1972 Winter Olympics, and the Nippon Ham Fighters baseball team.

Sapporo is a decent sized town framed by mountains, was mercifully cool, and is very walkable. 

 The above was taken from the TV Tower that dominates the skyline. 

 Only Carolyn and I went up while Paul and Betty waited below.  What the hell is Paul doing with his legs?

 This was the day we devoted to walking around the town and we stumbled upon a fair that ran in the park that cuts through the town.

This festival celebrates the dance and food from across the country.  We were far more interested in the food, and it ranged from good, to crazy to crazy good.

Was not surprised that the efficient Japanese recycle, but they had stations with wranglers to ensure that everyone recycled properly.  Love that about them.

 

 What we were surprised by was the size of the crows.  Never got a clean shot of them, but they were gigantic and bold.  A good 1/3 bigger than any I have ever seen.  While we were enjoying a bacon wrapped asparagus skewer in a tent, one came in and grabbed the whole thing and flew away.  This is seriously a thing.

On a free afternoon, we decided to check out the Shiroi Kobito cookie factory, a European style confectioner, they had an hourly show on the grounds with bubbles and animatronic dancing chef's...a combination of Disneyland and  Duff Gardens (that is a 12 minute version of the Duff Beer song...very raga). 

 

The factory floor was mesmerizing...could have watched it for hours. 

 Their cookies were truly amazing, but with a name like shrioi kobito, which means "white lover" in Japanese, that was no surprise.

Our summer tour of baseball parks also started here with a visit to the Sapporo Dome for a Yomiuri Giant v Nippon Ham Fighter game.  Our favorite Ham Fighter was Soh Nagata.  Whenever he would do something, make a play, strike out, etc., our gag was that it was Soooo Nagata.  We're idiots.

 Domes are certainly useful, but they all feel cold and impersonal.  Spicing it up with mascots helped create a fun atmosphere. 

Now that Jon Stewart's version of the Daily Show is no more, John Oliver's 'Last Week Tonight' is must see TV...check out this clip about Japanese mascots and tell me I'm wrong.

Usually ahead of the trends, Japanese stadiums are woefully behind in offering gourmet artisan food options at the park.

 I'd say that they looked like Japanese penis', but have no idea what they look like as they always tile those out...

 One day, we hopped on the train to Otaru to visit the Nikka Whisky Distillery. 

 While the Sapporo Beer factory is more famous, daddy likes his whiskey, and since he sets the itinerary...

A great choice.  Established with loving care in 1934 after a local learned the skill from Scottish craftsmen, Nikka Distilling makes theirs in that style...smoking the malt with peat, etc. 

A brilliant tour and day.

 

 There are lots of things to love about Japan...Monet was inspired by their water lilies and bridges.

 How about the freaking Haiku!  This isn't one, but this poem struck me in a very emotional way.

 I know they take a lot of crap for not fully apologizing for, you know, WWII and all the rape and torture and stuff, but in their defense, they take an existing product and make it awesome better than anyone.  Check out this item at the breakfast table...a combo butter and jam packet where you simply split it in the middle and squeeze both simultaneously onto your toast.  All is forgiven.

Japan also holds the world record for many cool things.  Girls dressed up like cartoon characters...

 Random sandwich boards for photo-ops...

 And hilarious signs.

Good thing this is only from the waist up.

 God "Save" The Queen?

 Dropping bags on heads seems to be a scourge...

 This poor guys bowels discharged after such an incident.

All in all, we were quite happy to have visited this fine town.

 

August 16th, 2015

Mentioned that the kids started school on Thursday.  On Friday, the boy came home with this pile of books.

Damn...sorry kid.

Took a class on coaching some years ago, and one of the lessons was to deliver criticism in the form of a sandwich.  Two positive comments on the outside as bread with the thing to work on in the middle as the filling.  Not sure if it was them, me, or the music critic that famously reviewed the Spinal Tap album 'Shark Sandwich" as a "Shit Sandwich", but there you have it.  I know that I get down on Taiwan sometimes and feel like I'm only complaining and want to temper it a bit, but two to one seems unreasonable.  Am therefore going to try the Eastern approach of yin (shady side) and yang (sunny side).

Yin...the requirement that people wear swim caps in the pool.  Have railed on this one before, probably multiple times, but have to bring it up again as there have been new conflicts.  There is a pool in our apartment that they open for only two months (July and August).  As we're gone for most of it, try to utilize it for the two weeks we can.

The place has lifeguards on duty and for the last two years, there has been no issue.  Went down a couple times this year and the younger dude was cool, but the last two afternoons, this older guy was manning the pool, and he is adamant about the use of the swim cap.  While the requirement is fucking ridiculous (Taiwan being the only country in the gawdamn world that does this), I will abide reluctantly in a public pool situation and don the cap.  The more enlightened folks that run the pools at the American Club and Taipei American School, don't require them, and think that a private pool like ours should mirror that freedom.  I have asked locals for years why they do this and never get a satisfactory answer.  The only thing they point to is that hair clogs the drain.  Granted, Chinese hair falls out in clumps like they are on heavy doses of chemo, or that guy from High School with the wispy fine hair that could be shaped into the awesome Shawn Cassidy flip style once he got into his 20's, but isn't that why God made filters?  But they messianically worry about some hair follicles when tons of debris blows into the pool, or people are peeing in it constantly?  And have you seen my back (and front and ears and...) lately?  More hair back there than on a lot of peoples heads and am sure that stuff falls off in equal proportions. 

Anyway, have refused to wear it, and the old dude is flipping out.  He is yelling at me in Chinese and I am doing the same back at him in English...neither of us know what the other one is saying yet we totally understand one another.  I am drawing the line in the water on this issue here, so we will see how it plays out.  Wish me luck on my quest to change a society and to all of you future pool goers, you're welcome.

On the Sunny Yang side, due to seeing how people in the States are with fresh eyes over the summer, I came around a bit on the Taiwan style of driving.  They still do the most heinous of maneuvers, like flying through intersections with pedestrians/bikes in the middle of them, or turning left across multiple lanes of traffic to either sneak in front of a line of cars or make up for spacing out and being in the wrong place.  But...traffic moves here.  In the States, and especially in Seattle, things have ground to a halt.  I have three major complaints.

One, the deference to pedestrians has gotten out of control.  Walking is my only form of exercise so am out there and I get that supreme caution should be exercised, but Seattle has become a place where people will slam on the breaks if they perceive that  anyone on foot even near an intersection may be crossing in the future.  Everyone needs to take their turn and it has swung so far to the pedestrian not only having the right of way, but being treated as if they were a diety.

Similarly and secondly, bikes have become the pre-eminent force on the roads.  Again, am totally in favor of more people cycling, that they have their place and rights as much as anyone, but it has swung way too far too fast.  The amount of car lanes that have been taken away in favor of bike only lanes has been increasing each year exponentially.  I know the mayor of Seattle is a bike guy and has made it a super friendly place for them, but this is a trend that is sweeping the nation (LA just announced they are adding thousands of miles of this type of lane, taking major avenues like Sunset down to one lane for cars for instance).  I am even OK with that...I think the push to make cities more like Copenhagen is a worthy endeavor although feel it is being shoe horned in too quickly and in places that aren't compatible for such a rapid change.  Plus, Europe is far more progressive in their attitudes towards these kinds of social experiments...would prefer to see America deal with our guns and health care more progressively first.  You'd think that Seattle cyclists would be happy with all of this, yet the more dedicated enthusiasts feel the need to organize what I think they call "bike nights".  In theory, these should be positive events...gathering a group of people to all ride their bikes together in the evening to a destination, like an art gallery tour, park, etc...very family oriented  However, I read about the more aggressive ones, where a pack of bike riders will gather and ride slowly through the most congested parts of downtown during rush hour.  Was lucky enough to get stuck behind one of these gatherings...6pm on a Thursday night right through downtown...purposely going slow.  To add to their "message", many of them accessorize their rides.  Check out this tool with the blow up doll in the child carrier.

I like to consider myself a political independent...will lean towards being socially liberal and conservative fiscally.  My freaking blood boils at the extremists...for my liberal friends that get apoplectic with the gun nuts or Tea Partay-ers, this is the kind of shit that completely negates all of your arguments and why half of the country thinks Trump has some good ideas.  Knock it off.  Please...advocate for a more friendly bike environment.  Encourage your neighbor to join you for a ride or to vote for more areas of safe passage.  But by pissing off the majority of the population, especially after a day of hard work when they are at their most vulnerable does not make you Rosa Parks.  And how about that ambulance or fire truck that gets delayed in the traffic jam you helped create?  Fuck you guys. 

And this leads me to bitch number three...public displays of self-righteous behavior.  Stopped counting how many times I saw people take the slightest affront to etiquette with a rage bordering on violence.  Examples...the guy standing on the side of the road yelling at me, going less than the speed limit mind you, to slow down.  I was completely motionless at a stop sign but was a little bit past it as I couldn't see the cars coming from the left due to obstructions.  This butt hole slows down, lays on the horn like he passed out on it and starts freaking out.  I am just sitting there dumbfounded.  My favorite was on the path around Green Lake.  For non-Seattle types, there is a lake in town where the 3 mile trail around it is a popular place to walk/run/bike.  Had the chance to walk it a couple times this summer, and the path is broken into two...the inside track is for walkers/runners while the outside is for bikes/skaters.

Quick side note, there is no "correct" direction advocated at Green Lake with arrows in each lane pointing both directions.  It is as much a social experience as it is an athletic one, and that it is a big circle and not a track, I understand that the etiquette is different than it should be on a normal track, where you are supposed to go around it counter-clockwise.  People going clockwise on a track always bugs me, and have to add another reason why.  When people are coming at you in the wrong direction, their personal funk hits you in the face.  I didn't notice it as much when it is only one dope going 'round the wrong way, but when half of the people are coming at you, you tend to notice their particular odors much more.

So...am walking on Green Lake one afternoon, counter-clockwise of course, the Virgo in me would have it no other way, and there are two girls in front of me walking at around the same speed, and in front of them is another couple walking a bit slower.  To get around the slower folks, the girls move out into the bike/skate path to get around them.  At just that moment, self righteous bike guy comes sailing past and yells at the girls.  If that weren't enough, he goes up a bit and points down to the line dividing the foot and wheeled traffic and then (!) points to one of the signs that explains the path that they have erected around the lake.  So much effort displayed with his outrage.  The dude was going quite fast, and the fact that the lake path for bikes is designed to be done leisurely and is not a velodrome (signs also say that too) was totally lost on him. 

And before you get all..."you are one of the most self-righteous people I know"...I will admit to it.  I think, actually I know, we all are to some extent, but I have comfort in knowing that I am self aware and temper those feelings with ones of empathy.  Maybe it was there all along, but watching the States from afar and being immersed in it in smaller doses, feel like we are tilting away from trying to understand the other persons motives/situations first and becoming instantly indignant and taking a simple misunderstanding or less as a personal attack.

What was I talking about?  Oh yeah...sanctimonious behavior is just about nil in Taiwan when it should be off the charts.  Dicks are gonna be dicks, and maybe the lack of irritation to such behavior has codified it into being the norm, but think I like it better than the disdain.  I do know this, if the 28 million Taiwanese were magically transported to the States, there amount of homicides due to road rage would go up by 28 million

I meant to write about our week in Hokkaido, Japan this morning, but time flies when you're having fun.

August 13th, 2015

Hey there.  Long time no chat.  We are starting our fourth year in Taiwan and am gonna try to keep this diary going.  Will get into some of the funnier moments from our visit to the States later, but getting back to TW is a busy time and need to upload and sort through photos, overcome the nastier effects of jet lag, get the kids (grades 11 & 7) ready for school,

and this year, do some clean-up from the typhoon.  The kids and I missed it by a day, but it was a whopper.  The biggest in most people's memories.  Even though we are on the 16th floor, we had some pretty serious flooding in our apartment as the drain on our balcony must have clogged, and it overflowed through the doors (that weren't watertight) and into the apartment.  Betty and her mom were here and had to deal with it.  She was messaging me with pictures and pleas for help.  I will admit that I was not unhappy that I didn't have to deal and might have even muttered a "haw haw" to myself.  Must say that they did an awesome job as it was hard to tell that the place had a 1/2 inch of water in it, not much of a smell and pretty dry.  And Betty's mom is 80 so know it was hard on her poor body...sure wouldn't want my mom to have to work that hard.  Am worried about our Turkish rug and some of the wooden floors, but otherwise, not bad.

The same can't be said for the flora around town.  Trees of all sizes went down everywhere...quite astonishing at the number of them.  The sound of chainsaws has been constant all day.  Have to give the country kudos for weathering it so well.  A similar strength storm in the Philippines would have (and has) leveled towns and killed hundreds.  I read that only 6 died, and while power went out for millions during the storm, within 24 hours, power had been restored to all but a quarter million people.  The infrastructure here is damn good.  

But my thought for today is to relate just how pissed off I am at this country.  Not for the reasons that you would expect from me however.  Yes, the drivers are still complete butt holes, but I might be coming around in my opinion of them after watching my people's behavior this summer (more to come on that).  And I wasn't angry at the Costco yesterday watching how many people are so out of it when they are in a public space.  There was this guy at the exit yesterday and he was standing there in the middle of the lane with his cart perpendicular to the flow of traffic so only one cart could get by.  I watched as a handful of people slowly eased past him to the receipt checkers before I rammed his cart out of the way.  Tried not to be an asshole about it and did my best Rick Perry "Ooops" impression, but he got the message.  I'm not even pissed at how merciless the heat is.  That's not entirely true as this freaking heat and humidity cannot be understood unless you're in it for weeks on end without relief.  Was at a baseball game in DC on a hot and humid day for them, and everyone was bitching about it.  Paul and I were laughing at what pussies they were, but I suspect that the locals think the same of me as I bitch my way through the day. 

What pissed me off was the new street signs.  Have related at how most signs are in both Chinese and western lettering, but that the interpretation as to how to translate from characters to letters has changed over time and that the same words are spelled in almost comically different ways.  I'm walking down the street yesterday and notice a sign that looks new.

You can tell from the above that the one on the left looks weather beaten and the one on the right is nice and clean.  Here is a close-up of the one on the left...

De Xing is a fairly major street and have never seen it spelled any other way...until yesterday.

Even Weinerschnitzel got rid of the "Der" years ago.  I understand that there are names that are pronounced in a way that isn't intuitive.  Leicester Square and Cahuenga Blvd. should be spelled Lester and Coeanga respectively, but we don't go changing them with every new administration.  When I was learning to drive, I circled around for a couple hours looking for Coeanga to meet some friends and ended up driving home cause I couldn't find it.  But when you putt up two signs like this right next to each other, you have to think they are definitely trying to mess with the foreigners. 

Alrighty...that's all I have time for today.  I promise to post more when I can.

May 30th, 2015

The 90's was a great decade for t-shirts. It's Spring cleaning time and felt the need to do some wardrobe culling.  Had to say goodbye to a few that had gone from prized formal wear, to baseball practice phenoms, to pajamas.  Noticed that they all came to me during the Clinton administration and have been stalwarts of the shirt drawer for 20 years.  RIP my friends.

Perhaps ditching this Clips shirt will finally change their luck.

The Plum rains arrived in Taiwan this week.  That means that it'll be raining more on than off for a few weeks.  My favorite quote from that Wikipedia entry is, "The high humidity in the air during this season encourages the formation of mold and rot not only on food but on fabrics as well."  Ahhhh.  Add that to the increasing heat, and one is reminded of the first Naked Gun movie...Jane breaks into Franks house to cook dinner.  She is boiling a roast and seductively asks Frank how hot and wet he likes it.  Frank replies, "very hot...and awfully wet."

How hot is it?  It was so hot today, I saw the Mormons handing out pamphlets with their tie knots loosened.  The other day, the boy told me he was going over to a friends house and wouldn't be home for dinner.  When he got home, asked what he ate and said that they made burgers...regular ones and black bean burgers.  He chose the black bean ones and that they were really good.  Told him to get me an invite as I love a good black bean burger and would love to get their recipe.  He said that I probably wouldn't want to go as the family is Mormon and that they tried to sell him on the church...even gave him his own Book of Mormon.  Luckily, he has been taught to be wary of religion, but he is still polite about it, played along and got himself a black bean burger.  

Read an article that was something about 10 ways a woman knows she has been married a long time.  Can't find it and don't remember much except for one of them...In a dark room, you are able to identify your husband just by the sound of his farts. 

Mad Max Fury Road is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen.

Thought I'd take a few minutes to introduce you to some of my friends at the Shi Dong Market.  A couple of blocks from the apartment, the Shi Dong is an indoor farmer's market that sells all kinds of food items. 

I'm there daily grabbing something...with the weather rotting food so quickly, you have to buy fresh. This is the place that sells rice and legumes.

Relatively new, this is the dim sum vendor and one can get some cha sau bao (bbq pork buns) and lou bo gao (turnip cakes).

In between the rice and dim sum stalls is my favorite coffee guy.  He takes a lot of pride in his beans, knows just how much cinnamon I like in my cappuccino, and his price for one is 75 cents cheaper than the Japanese place across the street and $1.50 less than Starbucks

The fruit lady...she'll carve us up pineapple and/or mangoes, which the family likes for breakfast.

And this is the veggie stand.  Unfortunately, can only identify about half of their offerings, but they have asparagus, carrots, etc.

And if the above stand is out of something or their supply looks wilted, will take my biz to this place.  Not as big a selection, but their stuff is typically very good and their English is excellent...they always try to flag me down.
The smoothie shack...their English is not so good, but they make a damn fine 5 veggie smoothie.

It's not all good though.  Next to the veggie stand is what I think is the hot pot shack.  People love this stuff , I've eaten it a lot, but just don't get the attraction. 

The chicken part stall.  A far cry from the way I grew up buying chicken at the Sierra Madre Albertsons. 

But the place that I see in my nightmares is the animal part stall.   The tongues and hearts are easy to identify, but the fun is trying to guess the other parts.  Pretty sure that pancreas, lung and penis are featured.  It smells just as you'd think it would.

Likely the last installment until August.  School ends next week and we hit the road...coming to a town near you.  You know I hate the humblebrag, so will just brag as to how awesome our schedule looks.

June 8 - 13 - Head to the Japanese island of Hokaido.  In the north, see the coastal town of Otaru and the famous Nikka whisky distillery, a couple/three days exploring Sapporo (beer and baseball for sure), and then two nights in hot spring area called Noboribetsu. 

6/13-24 - SF.  Taking mom to Vegas for a couple nights, seeing some old friends and eating spicy Korean chicken

6/24 - 7/1 - LA.  Staying in Venice, seeing my oldest friends and eating burritos in Arcadia, and catching a Padre/Mariner game in SD

7/1-7/5 - Seattle...popping in for a few days before we head east

7/5 - 7/19 - NYC to DC - The Paul College tour kicks into high gear, but we are catching home games at the Yankees, Pirates and Nats along the way.  Betty joins the fun on the 10th and it will be a college reunion tour for us. 

7/19 - 8/9 - Seattle time.  Hoping our friends still remember and have time for us.  On the night of July 24th, there is a huge blowout at the Orient Express in SODO.  Everyone is invited and please message me for details.

Have a bitchin' summer.

May 23rd, 2015

From the corrections department...a few weeks ago, was touting the wonder that are flushable wipes.  While their benefits are still undisputed, their "flushability" has been called into question by the FTC.  The Nice-Pak corporation is standing by their claim saying they have positively tested based on the FTC's guidelines and they expect quick resolution to the issue, but in the meantime, and really all the time, don't over stuff the bowl.

Saw this headline on Yahoo news and had to click...The fascinating cultural reason why Westerners and East Asians have polar opposite understanding of the truth.  It seems that Western law originating from the Greeks "followed the 'law of the excluded middle', which states that if two people are debating, then one of them must be exclusively right and the other exclusively wrong." 

"The Chinese followed the "doctrine of mean," which states that if two people are debating, then they're probably both partly right and partly wrong — the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle."

This made me stop in my tracks as it is so obviously and astoundingly true.  Anyone that has been on jury duty or follows Western politics is painfully aware of the "law of the excluded middle".  Do I need to go into another diatribe about that?  Didn't think so, but I had never heard that term before and understanding the roots as to why people are so dogged in their opinions to their own detriment is powerful. 

As for the "Doctrine of the Mean", China's own history with this concept is interesting...having been the rule of the land for millennia, it was tossed by the Nationalists in the early 20th century as it was seen to be the hindrance behind their backwardness in the world.  As for the Communists, always wary of an authority other than their own, but seeing its deep roots in society, it is making a comeback in a movement called New Confucianism. 

A real example of this doctrine can be seen in, where else, traffic.  I have been told a bunch of times that in any traffic accident, no one is totally at fault and they determine the fines based on what percentage of fault you are in the altercation.    When you read about the doctrine of the mean, it makes a ton of sense and should be something we aspire to and will be making an effort to explore it more.  I feel the down side of it is that it lets butt holes off the hook a bit as they can do shitty stuff but never be totally at fault, but the tenant is solidly based in what we call the Golden Rule.  Wish I could hear a little bit more of that out of politicians.  Huge advantage Asia on this one.

I promised to pop into our local 7-E and take some photos of their "fresh" food offerings.  This is the closest one to our place (right across a 6 lane avenue).  There is a closer Family Mart on our block, but they do not offer the same smorgasbord as the Seven.

A really nice feature of the Sevens is that they almost all have restrooms.  As there are stores everywhere, the toilets are usually very clean and they don't care if you just come in to use them only.  This makes for the rare big city that doesn't smell like urine.  There are plenty of other unpleasant odors (like stinky tofu) around, but not seeing dudes peeing everywhere is a plus.

 The Sevens in the States offer food choices...I remember eating a 2AM 49 cent chili cheese dog in college on occasion, but it isn't your typical lunch destination.  I see people eating at the Sevens here at every visit.  They have tables and chair areas set up in most of them and they are never empty.  What to choose from?  They do have the hot dogs on the rotating wheel.  Everyone is horrified by these, but they must sell and they can't have many instances of food poisoning, otherwise they wouldn't be everywhere in the world.  Alas...no chili in Taiwan.

Things make a quick change for the bizarre soon after.  Menu not translated...I can only positively identify 30% of the choices, but can probably guess the right food group in about 70% of them.

Of all the items, I think that I might try the heated sweet potato before our time is up here.  At least I think that is what this is.  It looks fluffy and delicious, and is it possible to over cook a potato?.

 Now we move to the nasty main event.  A double decker stew of god knows what.  Actually, god probably doesn't know as this is an abomination and the progenitors of these things should be tried in the Hague for crimes against humanity.

People eat that and like it.  This was taken right at lunch time so the quality should have been primo, but look at the consistency of that water.   I know this is 7-Eleven and the bottom rung, but this is typical of the kind of food that is all over town. I read in travel guides and on line that the # 1 thing about Taiwan is the food...that Taipei has the best street food in Asia.  I ask everyone (by everyone, I mean expats) that have been here over 5 years what they think of the local fare.  They all say they like it, but when pressed for specifics, like what will they miss most when they go home or where do they eat, the answers are always the same.  "Din Tai Fung is good" is the first thing out of their mouths...granted, that's one place.   And then they start to get a glassy eyed look, maybe toss out some noodle stand or pancake cart, or that they get some great Japanese food downtown.  When I mention that Japanese food is not local, they sort of drift into the ether like a ghost.  We will meet the occasional Westerner that grew up in, or have parents from a place like Peru, where they butcher and eat every nail and intestine of an alpaca, that like the chicken feet or tendon soup, but they are the outlier.

Finally, we get the "boiled in something" eggs...

I've known Betty a long time and have been around variations of these things for just as long, but can I tell you a secret?  I have never tasted one.  All Chinese must eat them all the time cause they are ubiquitous, but as they used to say in my day...grody to the max!

May 16th, 2015

We have hit the boiling point.  212 degrees F. (100 C.).  It's been building for a couple weeks, so haven't really noticed, but the last two days are ones where you take a cool shower, and before you can get into the other room to put on clothes, sweat is already starting to pool in the deepest crevices.  When we get back from the States in August, it is already full tilt boogie on the thermometer and it is just misery through September.  This time of year where I feel like the frog in the pot of water.  Put him in a pot on the stove with the water at room temperature and then turn on the heat.  He doesn't realize that he is boiling until it is time for frog leg soup.  Have tried that analogy out a couple times this week and it just has not gone over.  Anyway, I am pretty much a miserable pissed off individual and cannot wait till school ends and we ditch this taco stand.

Might as well just embrace it and let it all hang out today.  Couple of quick follow-ups on my clockwise track friends from last time.  First, long time reader Mr. Richard Fader from Fort Lee, NJ wrote in suggesting that the black bands I saw were not nipple rash guards, but are fact heart monitors.  Those indeed do look like what I saw, so I suppose that it wasn't as egregious as I thought, but does remind me how supremely dismissive I am of the folks that feel the need to discuss how many steps they did today, their work out regimen, or how they have eliminated gluten from their diet.  If you are talking to your physician or life coach, have at it.  Those people are paid to indulge your narcissism.  For the rest of us, I'd rather hear about your fantasy soccer team, how you shot on the golf course, or how great your bratty kids are doing at school.  Second, as it is getting hotter, am trying to go for walks early AM or after sunset...not really much better, but anything helps.  Going at a different time, I see a whole new cast of characters.  This morning, there were a bunch of clockwise runners, but as I have been working on empathy lately, I realized they were simply going back and forth on the side of the track that was in the shade.  Part of my self improvement regimen is to show more empathy, to vicariously experience the feelings of others, so I understood their motivation and was good with it.  Except for the one guy that was making the full circle the wrong way...he had his shirt on but ran in a fashion that looked like a zombie with the back of his shirt on fire.  Not the fast World War Z/I Am Legend zombies, but the lurching George Romero kind.  And I don't think a zombie would mind if he was on fire per se, but my zombie runners arms were flailing in an exaggerated awkward windmill motion that looked like he was trying poorly to extinguish the flames.  Very distracting.  And by the way, have you ever seen an Asian zombie?  Think about it.

This empathy kick is not a new thing, I really try to understand a persons/countrys/cultures experiences to understand motives.  Doesn't mean that I don't ultimately judge harshly and sometimes incorrectly, but I do try.  Empathy was brought to the front of my mind during a talk that I attended about the geopolitics of Taiwan and its place in the world.  Probably mentioned it before, but one of the things I have volunteered to do around here is to organize the speakers that give the once a month coffee morning talks at the local English speaking community center ,and have been looking for topics that interest me in hopes that they would interest the community.  As having a mid-week talk naturally tilts towards women being able to attend, some of the folks at the center were worried that this kind of a talk would be too "high brow" for that audience.   I did not feel similarly and thought that was a bit misogynistic,  and am happy to report that it was our best attended event of the year.  I asked a teacher from the kids school to give it...Dr. Nick Corbin-Palo.  He teaches a class that Paul is in called Crisis and Leadership where they study and discuss various political issues (both current and historic) and have role playing exercises on how the different sides would (should) have dealt with them.  Super interesting to me and Paul really likes it.  Dr Nick (Hi Everybody) was really good...talked super fast but gave a coherent narrative about the big picture that frames Taiwan and the paths it can logically take while plotting its future. 

He has worked (and still consults) for the UN on negotiating strategies, and the second of his three pillars for negotiations is empathy.  The first was BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement) and the third was durability (basically making a deal that can stand the test of time rather than one that is doomed to fail).  It is the empathy part that struck most with me as I think that forgetting to consider the other sides experiences/needs/etc causes almost all of the unnecessary problems we face, from the micro personal to the macro world conflicts we are disgusted by in the news.  His example was how his view of the Asian "chessboard" has changed since he came to teach in Taiwan.  Previously, he saw that two pieces could be traded between the US and China.  China could give up its support in N. Korea and the US could do the same in Taiwan.  If you are playing Risk, makes all the sense in the world, but once he got his feet on the ground here and felt the people of Taiwan's real fear of a reunification with China, he realized how truly insensitive and unrealistic that idea was.  Think Sykes-Picot, Iran Nuclear program negotiations, or toolio stumbling clockwise around the track with arms spinning like a rusty weather vane...put yourself in the shoes of the people you are affecting judging.  Pretty basic idea but one many of us neglect too often.

I read something the other day that made me wretch.  Jeb Bush, pandering...excuse me, speaking at Liberty University said that the Obama Administration is attacking Christianity by use of "coercive federal power...demanding obedience in complete disregard of religious conscience" and going on to say, "Somebody here is being small-minded and intolerant, and it sure isn't the nuns, ministers, and laymen and women who ask only to live and practice their faith,".  The attack?  That providing birth control is part of Obamacare.  Ewwwww.  I get why there would be outrage over providing on demand abortions, I'm way left on the social issues dial and that issue gives me pause, but I have empathy for women that have to make that painful choice.  But birth control?  Best way to avoid the abortion conundrum is birth control.  This pandering to a base that wants you to not have premarital sex, when you know, you KNOW that they all have premarital sex and use birth control just simply makes these people unelectable (and supremely unlikeable).   Jeb later this week went on to say that he'd have invaded Iraq too, so he is pretty much dead meat.

Quick aside, of the GOP hopefuls so far, are there any that haven't made a statement that is so out of touch that you'd shudder if they got a hold of your TV remote, let alone sit in the Oval Office?  The only one that isn't already dead to me is Marco Rubio.  Yeah, he is wrong on the whole rapprochement with Cuba, but I take that one with a grain of salt based on his heritage (although even that is a bit dubious).  Haven't heard enough of him yet so will focus in for a while to see what's what.

Never a huge believer, I used to think that religion fostered values in people for the better, but as I have gotten older, I think the complete opposite and that it is more a tool that people use to promote racism and intolerance.  I know that is a narrow statement, and that a lot is done under the guise of religion that does a lot of good, but I feel that the evil tilt might outweigh the good.  Seriously, I do not know one person that is a-religious that has a racist thing to say.  Actually, they will say some of the most outwardly racist things but that are ways to start a discussion with humor rather than the cloaked racism that I am talking about.  The only people that I encounter (and please, am not saying every one of them, but a percentage that seems alarmingly high) that have no empathy are the religious types.  Coincidence?  My current view is that to be religious, you have to have faith, to believe in something that cannot be proven, but that you "learn" what the "truth" is from humans, who are at best inherently flawed, and at worst...are the worst.

Sorry about that, sometimes the world bums me out and find that getting it out

Speaking of getting bummed out, and it is definitely heat related, but definitely feel myself getting old.  Will be 50 in a few months and have noticed something that I am not sure how to handle..  While the number of times the planet has been around the sun since I was born is considered AARP eligible, the different parts of my body have aged at wildly different rates.  The extremes are that my knees are that of an octogenarian while my brain still has the maturity level of a 12 year-old boy.  

As an example of the latter, some Afghan kids were in town to participate in a Model United Nations (MUN) weekend at the kids school, and Paul was involved.  He told me that those kids were coming to his committee to answer questions, and I had one for him to ask,  He refused, so I sent it to the teacher (who walks on water in my book and I consider her a friend).  I wanted to know if the Afghani's call crocheted blankets Afghans or just blankets?   I never did hear the answer, but the teacher told Paul that she thinks that he is more mature than me.

Having a juvenile sense of humor is not the problem.  At least that is not my problem, but understand it could be yours.  My problem is, I need help sometimes...I want to sit in the chair, people to ask me if I need anything, open the door...basic deference to your elders like I was brought up to act.  But my problem is that I am still so damn good looking, that people do not see me for the senior citizen that my aching joints are telling me I am.

Something in the news that bumped me on a personal level was that ESPN was not extending the contract of Bill Simmons.  Have been reading him on Grantland for many years and am a devoted follower of his podcasts.  Definitely do not agree with him on everything, especially on his New England sports fandom (Boston fans are never not detestable), but he is funny and irreverent and will miss the hole that his departure will leave in my listening world.  Am auditioning new podcasts to see if any can stick in my rotation.  That rotation is:
Never miss:
Adam Carolla's daily podcast (another whose views can grate on occasion, but his contempt of everything and our shared age/upbringing in LA have made me a devoted listener since Loveline in the 90's.
Greg Proops' weekly podcast called The Smartest Man in the World.  Live before a studio audience, just amazing how he can riff on things off the cuff for an hour and a half.  Way to the left socially and is a huge baseball fan.  Borders on brilliance
The John Clayton Show, which is a 3hr radio show about football from a great voice on the subject.  Have been an avid listener for 20 years and being able to dial him up weekly keeps me ahead of the game in all things NFL.  His Sportscenter commercial is arguably their funniest.

During baseball season, I will listen to Buster Olney's Baseball Tonight, The Jonah Keri Grantland show and weekly MLB Extras updates by division, and football has me with Dave Dameshek, Greg Cossell (Howard's equally smug but knowledgeable son) and Grantland's NFL podcast.

Depending on their guest, will listen to Greg Fitzsimmons, Jay Mohr and Marc Maron, and usually have the latest Doug (Benson) Loves Movies and Judge John Hodgeman on my mp3 player when I run out of the above...

And Betty likes to listen to the John and Ken show when we are driving to/from work...they are conservative radio host/cranks that we listened to back in our dating days in LA when we were stuck in rush hour traffic. 

That sounds like a lot, but they keep me company when I'm in the kitchen, taking a walk or attending to my regular Hausfrau duties.  Like I said, have been auditioning podcasts and it looks like the Sklar Brothers podcast Sklarbro Country might stick.  Pop culture told comically with a heavy lean towards sports.   I would love to talk about any of the above, so let me know if you listen.  And if you have one that you feel is essential and would like to recommend, am all ears.

Finally, one more recommendation.  Find the first two episodes of a new show called The Last Man on Earth.  Here is the thumbnail description from IMDB..."Phil Miller was a normal guy, but when a plague struck, he became the last man on earth. His only wish was to have company, preferably a female. When he meets a survivor named Carol, he starts to rethink his wish."  Have only seen the first two episodes, so not sure if it can sustain over the whole series, but the first two had me laughing out loud by myself, especially the first one where he grapples with life as the last man on Earth.   Genius.

Not much time left in the Taiwan school year so only have a couple more posts before June, but in the next week I plan to work on taking you on an eating journey of the 7-11 across the street.  It will be a challenge to capture in words and pictures the tastes and smells that you can experience, but will give it my best effort.

May 10th, 2015

Think I have griped about this guy before, so indulge me for a second.  I like to walk the track across the street for exercise.  It's a nice track and the surrounding grass fields make it a popular place to play soccer, fly kites and hang out, so it is typically full of families.  I'd say that one out of every seven times I'm there, there is always the one dude that insists on going around the track clockwise.  You will have everyone else going counter clockwise with the exception of this guy.  And he is always kinda weird...always with his shirt off, typically he is in good shape but skews a little older.  This means that he doesn't have a lot of body fat, but age and gravity make his man boobs/nipples bounce rapidly and hypnotically.  My favorite of this guy is the one that wears the little black band around his chest, covering his nipples.  Have you seen these things...they look like electrical tape and go all around the chest at nipple level.  I went to the internet to find a picture of them and they must not be super popular as I could not easily find one.  Could not search for long as while the names of the products were funny (NipEaze/NipStrips), the images of bloody runners nipples was too much to bear.   My point is...what was my point...oh yeah, while I totally appreciate that runners nipples will chafe and get what the band is for, but when you are running without a shirt, why the hell do you need the ridiculous looking band.  Would love to know the motivation for doing this, am guessing it is narcissism mixed with loneliness, but what a dick.

Received an email advising that the annual air raid drill would be held this week,

The Taipei City Government has announced that the annual Wan An Air Defense Exercise will be held on Tuesday, April 28, 2015 from 1:30pm- 2:00pm in northern Taiwan.  The exercise will be marked by a loud siren.  During this 30 minute period, all vehicular and pedestrian traffic will be suspended.  Vehicles must pull off the road (except for freeway traffic), and pedestrians must take shelter for the duration of the exercise.  MRT trains will be operating as usual, but passengers will not be allowed to exit MRT stations.  The Taipei Rapid Transit Corporation (TRTC) has advised that violators of the air defense exercise regulations may be fined up to NT$150,000, per Article 25 of the Taiwan Civil Defense Act.  Please plan accordingly. 

Have been through these before, and this one went off as usual...sirens sound and then the streets are completely empty for a half hour.  I understand that in the recent past, everyone had to go to a designated bomb shelter, but now you just stay inside.  Always feels a tad surreal, and it does make you think about the underlying reason why they continue to do this.  While it is inconceivable that they would, there is still a real fear that China would make an all out assault on the island to retake Taiwan. 

Am not sure if it is due to our proximity, or if China is flexing its muscle more, but am pretty sick of PRC style.  Seems like every day, there is another story that makes me hate them even more.  Here are some from the last week...

- Katy Perry was in town last Tuesday, and in her show, she wore a dress made of sunflowers.  The sunflower was a symbol of the Taiwanese protesters last year that forced the ruling government to scale back their cross-straight trade deal with China, and ultimately led to that party's sound defeat in the November elections.  The Chinese are steamed at her and are contemplating banning her from China for it.  Talk about thin skin.

- Next up was this article that made the rounds on most of the news websites.  It is about how Chinese will hire Westerners to hang out, making their businesses more international and therefore, desirable.  The article centers on apartments and how having Westerners being seen at the location will feed the demand for that complex.   A couple of quotes from it...

"Now, it is true that the price of white people is expensive," the same agent told Borenstein. "But it makes the place feel classier."

and my favorite

If a client can't afford a white foreigner, he or she is advised to go with a black actor instead who have "a very open personality, yet are quite cheap." 

The most disgusting news item in this vein was the reaction to the Nepalese earthquake.  Aid from around the world was offered and accepted by Nepal, with the exception of that coming from Taiwan.  Now, Taiwan has their share of quakes and has well developed search and rescue teams, but their skill was not used in Nepal due to Chinese pressure.  Seems that China has been ramping up "aid" to Nepal in the last year or so with the thinly veiled caveat that Nepal crack down on Tibetan dissidents that traverse the country to meet with the Dali Lama in India.  As one of the poorest countries on Earth, Nepal can't afford to risk getting that desperately need aid cut off, so as to not offend them, they opted to let their own people die.  What dicks.  They have been showing the Godfather trilogy the last few nights on the local cable, and Part III is as bad as you remember, but the "make them an offer they can't refuse" ethos is alive and well. 

China is in the process of building islands in the Pacific to project their sphere of influence mainly because no one is willing to be their ally.  Their military ships cannot call on any ports in the world cause no one dares enter into that kind of security relationship.  Their "aid" is accepted in countries in Africa and Pakistan, but all of those places soon find that influence is a one way street. 

Look, you will never find me beating the drum of American exceptionalism.  Ted Cruz is the biggest tool in the shed on this front this week, telling a group of supporters/paranoid white people that the Garland Mohamed cartoon shooters were now able to meet their virgins.  I certainly don't condone fanatics resorting to murder when they are insulted verbally, but that was a story that had no good guys (eff you Patricia Geller).  I guess the cop that shot them down was a good guy, but you get my point.  Ted's speeches always are how Obama is going to consign the US to the scrapheap of history with his policies on health care and the IRS (or whatever).  Hey Ted, a gentleman is someone who know how to play the bagpipes, and doesn't.  The use of fear has always been a part of politics, but these guys are taking it to unprecedented levels.  Bitching about something is not a political platform.  Anyhoo, the US also uses aid as leverage, has tarnished history with regards to human rights, and about 40% of our electorate would just assume we send our planes and troops into half of the planet (the half where the brown people live) cause they are easily seduced by people that use American "exceptionalism" to sell more weapons.  But no one likes China.  No one.  Dicks. 

Heard a joke that I liked the other day.
 

A buddhist monk approaches a burger foodtruck and says “make me one with everything.” The buddhist monk pays with a $20 bill, which the vendor takes, puts in his cash box, and closes the lid. “Where’s my change?” the monk asks. The vendor replies, “change comes from within”.

A couple of quick movie recommendations.  Hot Fuzz and Tremors.  Hot Fuzz is hard to categorize...comedy and noir thriller...I love it cause not a scene is wasted and everything ties into the narrative.  Watch it, love it.  As for Tremors, it has been in my pantheon of great bad movies since the day it was released.  It had a run on one of the local bad movie cable channels (we have three) and could not turn away after stumbling on it.  You'd never see it if you read the plot, or even if I told you the genre, so will not give a synopsis, I just recommend that you check it out with an open mind and enjoy the ride. 

Finally for today, and I would guess I am late to this party, but have officially become annoyed by the "Keep Calm and..." t-shirts.  I not only question the judgement of anyone that prints, sells, buys or even slips on one of these lame ass things, but immediately disregard them as non-entities.  And really, have you ever told someone that is in distress to "calm down" and it has anything but the complete opposite effect?