Welcome to my diary...the goal is to share with you the sights, sounds, and yes, even the smells of what it's like to be an Imbrogulio in a foreign land.
There is a saying that goes 'one death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic'. Yesterday, Taiwan announced its first case of locally transmitted Covid in 253 days. That articles says it was a pilot of New Zealand nationality breaking his quarantine and lists stores he visited while possibly infectious. Costco of course, and two department stores in our neighborhood are on the list. What the article doesn't say was filled in by the rumor mill almost immediately. Betty is tuned into it way more than me and she says that this guy is a New Zealander of Iranian heritage, which of course makes him 10 times more ominous, and that he has been uncooperative with authorities cause he broke quarantine to step out on his wife, with the mistress being the person he transmitted the virus to. Ouch.
It might be hard to imagine, but the entire country is freaking the fuck out. I was out with a couple of relatively sensible American guys a couple days before this story broke and they are both convinced that Taiwan is lousy with the virus but it isn't being reported cause of some cover-up or that the locals have an immunity of some kind. Lemme tell you, I have had it with all conspiracy bullshit and have no idea what to do about it. We'll see what happens but people are talking about stricter distancing measures being put into place as early as today.
I was out with those guys cause we went to see a show by local faves of mine 88 Balaz. Went into detail about them and a show we went to a couple months ago, but cannot tell you how fortunate I feel being able to get into a dark club and have my ears pummeled.
First band was called Shoot Up and they put on a decent high energy ska set.
88 Balaz is a tight professional unit.
I was up front by the speaker doing a bit of moshing and my buddy took this great snap from his vantage point.
It has been nice to have The Boy back in the house. We're going on a trip down south the first week of the new year and are just hanging out, working on jigsaw puzzles, going to the dentist and such. The Boy and Babydoll took a cooking class together and learned how to make some local specialties including homemade bubble tea. I only mention it to share the pictures the place took of them.
Betty bought a mini Christmas Tree and we thought that we should get presents for each other. We've never been in Taiwan for this holiday and so never got a tree, and haven't exchanged presents since 2011. Haven't really missed it and don't want to get into the conspicuous consumption game again, so we decided to do all of our shopping at the 'crap shack'. They have these stores that sell everything as long as it is of low quality and price. A glorified dollar store if you will. Have to say that I am looking forward to making breakfast and opening gifts in our pajamas. May even turn on some Christmas music.
A couple quick local news follow-ups. First, Iguanazilla! A 6 foot long iguana 'scared' a local woman (it woulda startled me too) and has been 'arrested and brought to justice'. It was later euthanized and thus ended the 'Pintung dinosaur rebellion'. That poor beautiful creature was just trying to live its best life man. It says the iguanas are a nuisance as they have no natural enemies, but I can think of one.
In other news, wish I had gotten wind about this event beforehand so I coulda gone and identified some people, but the Epoch Times helped organize a Stop The Steal rally right here in Taipei. Noted international religious nut job purveyors of conspiracy theories the Epoch Times teamed up with noted local religious nut job purveyors of conspiracy theories the Falun Gong for heaping bowlful of crazy. Expats and local idiots united to pledge fealty to the conman and freedom or something. You could only tell that the rally was held here instead of Georgia by the wearing of masks.
Finally for today, sharing this opinion piece from the NY Times with the title; Pound for Pound, Taiwan is the most important place in the world. It details how Taiwan positioned itself to be an essential piece in the global chain of technology by investing in microchip infrastructure. I remember when Made in Taiwan equated to cheap t-shirts.
Before we get into it, had a realization for y'all and while it isn't great news, thought you should know. I really hate being a dire predictor of negative thoughts, but see and hear a lot of people looking forward to 2021 and a change to the Earth's karma. That is not gonna happen on January 1st and here is why. While January was pretty sucky in 2020, and the virus originated sometime in late 2019, it really didn't hit the global fan until February, right around Chinese New Year. As the virus' origin is Chinese, I am certain that the karmic change will not occur until February 12th when the Chinese New Year changes from the stinky rat to the delicious cow. Still pretty close, and one would think that with vaccines being administered now and a new administration coming in on the 20th of January, that the first of the month would be safe, but the vision I had was of a lot of people being 'affected' by the raging virus, and what some element of whatever these Q cultists will do based on their fever dreams about their savior, the 6 weeks are still gonna suck hard and I beg my friends and loved ones to keep their heads down and hearts open until then.
The Boy finished his quarantine last Wednesday. He only opened the door to his studio apartment to bring the food we dropped off in and put empty bags out for us. The government texted him twice a day asking him to rate his health...1 was fine, 2 was feeling ill and 3 was having symptoms, and he received a call from the CDC every other day or so asking how he felt and what his temperature was. A few days before his time was to end, the cops showed up, but since his apartment needed keys to get past the gate and then main door, and he didn't dare step out to open those, they went away. They came back the day before his quarantine was to end with a better plan apparently as he told us there was a knock on the door and there they were. They asked the same stuff and went away. We were kinda surprised they didn't administer a test, but at this point we trust their analysis of situations.
We were talking in the car one day and the subject turned to mask wearing and I was curious about what he sees in the States. He says that most people have them on but that a ton of those are the under nose/chin. He hasn't seen any of the 'mask as tyranny' yahoos, but a lot of passive resistance. I tell him to look out the window at the people walking on the street. It is morning rush hour and there are a couple/three dozen people walking in view and at least 2/3 of them have masks on. No local transmissions in almost 8 months but still extreme vigilance. Will ask him his impressions at the end of his stay in January.
The big news around here is that we got another first down in our parenting football drive. Have been working on this metaphor for a while and can't seem to get anyone else on board as I don't think there are many people as die hard a football guy as myself, but it works so well. In short, raising a kid is like a football drive. The kickoff is the birth. Most folks start at the 25, but some kids are born with issues and so they get backed up. A touchdown is when your kid graduates from whatever school level they ultimately reach and get a job that puts them on their own. Only then can you spike the ball. Sometimes you get big gains early, but the last 20 yards is the hardest. Some kids grind it out early in the drive and get in gear later. There are penalties that push you back and sometimes plays result in a loss of yards. Any success or failure can be measured in this metaphor.
Babydoll just got a chunk play first down putting her in field goal range. This week, she was accepted via early decision into her school of choice...University of Virginia. Yes, that is the same school that her brother is attending and is on schedule to graduate in May '21. She withdrew her applications for the other schools as if you submit for early decision and are accepted, it is binding that you attend that school. We are quite happy with UVA based on The Boy's experience and that it means regular trips to DC for us,, but I was (not so) secretly hoping for any of the other ones to be the choice. We'll never know if they were possible now, but in consideration were Tulane (food and music), Vanderbilt (same, especially hot chicken) and UNC (their baby blue looks great on me plus The Boy will be 10 miles away). And she tells me a few days before all of this that if she didn't get into those, that she was still gonna apply to schools in Melbourne, which was my dream.
The Boy was puffing himself up saying that his sister copied him, and Betty and I were somewhat surprised that was her first choice, but her familiarity with the place through her brother, that it has weather, but not the extreme kind, that it is well respected in the areas of study she intends to pursue, and that it has the college town rah-rah experience she was looking for , it made all the sense. The kids roads to going there were as close to opposite as they could be; The Boy took little time thinking about where he wanted to go and didn't even remember applying to UVA and sent his applications at the 11th hour, while B-doll has been mulling it over for more than a year, submitting her apps as early as possible, etc, so it is funny that all roads led to Charlottesville for both.
It is good having the Boy in town as it is really the first extended period of time we have seen him since 2017 and can see how he has evolved. Or devolved. Seems like a decent dude and I can still see a ton of his parents in his mannerisms with the most noteworthy that he has become an avid napper. It should be no surprise that he is a polyphasic sleeper as both Betty and I enjoy/require a nap each day. In the nature v nurture debate, based on my personal experience, it is a solid 35 nature/65 nurture. I say that based on watching the other child. She has little of Betty's or my weird habits but plenty of her own that could only come from DNA. Like she has still never burped. Ever. Not once. We all walk around oozing burps like human bagpipes. I think it is most pronounced in her handwriting...pretty sure I've shared an example before, but it could be confused with something printed off a typewriter and in a tiny font. It's almost looks pathological in nature and would be easily confused with a crazy persons manifesto. In my retelling of this story to people, this is where I would get a little horror movie and say in a hushed tone that she is adopted and doesn't have a belly button. I do get a few "really"s before they realize that it a bit, but can tell they are still not 100% sure.
Allrighty then. Didn't see any fun local news articles to share this week. There was one yesterday about a rookie policeman being hailed as a hero for saving a kitten that was abandoned and stuck in the middle of the freeway, but did not come with the funny writing or insight. I will share this article with the headline: Taiwan rated only country in Asia with open civic space in 2020.
In its annual report titled "People Power Under Attack 2020," Civicus Monitor wrote that amid the coronavirus pandemic, civic space has declined across the globe, with only 3.4 percent of people living in an open society. In the 25 countries listed in the Asia Pacific region, only Taiwan has been rated as truly open.
The report assesses the civic space of various countries from the perspectives of the freedoms of association, peaceful assembly, and expression. Each country is rated as falling into one of five categories: “open”, “narrowed,” “obstructed,” “repressed,” and “closed.”
In the Asia Pacific, four countries — China, Laos, North Korea, and Vietnam — were rated as closed. Nine were listed as repressed, nine as obstructed, and only Taiwan was deemed to be open.
Under the section "Positive Developments," Taiwan was listed for having hosted one of the few Pride marches seen in 2020, with the LGBTQI+ community "visibly asserting their rights."
The Philippines was the only country in the region to be downgraded from obstructed to repressed "owing to its decline in fundamental freedoms." The report cited the shutdown of ABS-CBN; conviction of journalist Maria Ressa; imprisonment of Senator Leila De Lima; and attacks, murders, and harassment of human rights defenders as reasons for the downgrade.
However, the report also pointed out that Taiwan’s legislative amendments directed at combating misinformation raise concerns about the right to freedom of expression. Civicus Monitor also expressed concern that Taiwan's Assembly and Parade Act "continues to disproportionately restrict people’s right to hold peaceful assemblies."
It doesn't say in this article that the States was downgraded from 'open' to narrowed', and I would have thought that S. Korea or Japan would have been in the open category. Anyhoo...one more notch in Taiwan's lipstick case (for you Benatar fans).
Today was gonna all be about Taiwan's animal kingdom, but want to share a little bit about a party first. Consider this a tale from the other side of the plague.
To make a long story a bit shorter, Betty used to be involved with a Latina wives club but fell out of contact as she couldn't go to their stuff as she traveled so much and worked the rest of the time. Since there is no travel, she reunited with them a couple weeks ago and met some Argentine ladies, and from that we got invited to the Argentine Christmas party last Sunday.
This thing was amazing...about 30 folks, all speaking that certain brand of Argentine Spanish called Castellano, which is extra passionate and flowery. The food was all the treats from Buenos Aires we miss. The names are familiar (chorizo, milanesa, empanadas) but were done in typical porteno style and I ate so much that I was physically ill. The host, who I was led to believe is the equivalent of the ambassador, invited a musician to play sad Tango accordion. A couple of folks started talking to me in Castellano before realizing I have a bad Mexican Spanish accent and wasn't one of them, but paid me the ultimate compliment (to them) that I looked Argentine. I am Italian/German and you know they invited a bunch of Germans in the country in the mid 1940's, so it makes some sense. Everyone kisses each other hello and goodby and it is amazing that there was not a shred of fear or hesitation in Taiwan in December of 2020.
A quality night for me, but very special for Betty as she loves herself all things Argentina. We're walking home and she says in a tone that I only hear when she has her Spanish brain activated..."weren't those people just lovely?" Takes more than a big belly full of empanada for me to join her ebullience and reply with, "yeah, for a bunch of Mexicans.". She adds that it is nice to be out with folks here that don't talk obsessively about their workout regime. Truth. Cannot tell you how many conversations I have to excuse myself from with dudes detailing their bike ride or some dumb ass mega run they are training for. Are those conversations for them or for me...pure torture. One of the many reasons I always prefer to chat with the ladies at all times.
Allrighty...wacky Taiwan creature time. First off is this article detailing a Horde of earthworms scare in eastern Taiwan. That picture is kind cool, showing a running track completely covered in earthworms, but as always, it is the writing that sets this news apart.
The uncanny scene raised concern among the superstitious. Some residents worried it was an omen of a natural disaster or some other catastrophe, while others considered it merely the result of the heavy rain from the typhoon that swept past the southern tip of Taiwan last week.
I love how they equate people predicting disaster to others considering it merely the result of heavy rain. If you thought that believing crazy shit as truth was limited to your country...
Another one that popped up recently stated that Eating green iguanas legal in Taiwan. These dinosaurs are invading irrigation systems and causing all sorts of havoc and there is a bounty on their heads...in 9 months, they have paid out on 5,500 hides. They do not recommend that you eat them, cause they have parasites, confirmed it is not illegal to do so. The telling line is that experts don't want people making them a "gourmet delicacy" cause you know that's next.
A police officer on Saturday (Dec. 5) was attacked by an Asian giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia), which bit into his ear before he was able to kill the murderous marauder.
While patrolling the Dajia River Power Plant in Taichung City's Heping District at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning, Chang Wen-yung (張文勇), 51, came upon an Asian giant hornet, known in Taiwan as a “tiger head bee” (虎頭蜂), which suddenly landed on his left ear — its venomous stinger positioned precariously close to his temple.
According to his account of the harrowing encounter posted on Facebook on Sunday (Dec. 6), Chang wrote that he could hear the buzzing sound of the hornet but he dared not swipe or bat his ear as he feared this would provoke the insect to begin relentlessly stinging him. He said the creature then began to chew into the cartilage next to his ear canal.
He wrote that he walked into a bathroom in order to get a better look at where the beast was positioned. The hulking Hymenoptera continued to chomp on his ear for approximately five minutes as Chang calmly recorded the assault with his smartphone.
Finally, the aggressive arthropod flew away from his ear, and Chang quickly slammed the bathroom door shut to trap it inside. He then grabbed a towel and used it to whip the vicious Vespidae to pieces.
Chang said that the hornet had chewed off a small chunk of his ear, causing it to bleed. Fortunately, he was not stung by the venomous insect and therefore did not seek medical attention.
He wrote that this was the first time he had been attacked by a hornet since being transferred to the facility in July of this year.
The Miaoli County Fire Department pointed out that the hornets are attracted to flowers and plants with bright colors and strong fragrances, reminding people who travel to mountainous areas to avoid wearing brightly colored clothing and perfume, reported EBC. In the event of encountering an Asian giant hornet hovering nearby, the fire department advises people not to try to hit it, but instead to stay calm and carefully walk away.
Jeez...those photos. This author hilariously described the hornet as The Murderous Marauder, The Hulking Hymenoptera, and the Aggressive Arthropod. He has to be a big wrestling fan cause those are awesome nicknames.
Never heard of the Tiger Head Bee or Asian giant hornet, but research confirms that friends in the States will know them as the freaking Murder Hornet that was just found in Washington State. The article made it sound as if the venom would kill you, but apparently you'd need to get stung a dozen times and then would die from kidney failure, so no 100 steps. What is 100 steps? A friend was telling us last week about some snake on this death trap of an island whose bite will kill you within 100 steps. I kid you not.
I left you last time talking about the protests against the importation of U.S. pork into Taiwan. Those protests didn't just stop on the streets and last week saw a full scale food fight in the Taiwanese parliament. The party protesting the importation brought trays of pig innards into the chamber and started chucking them at the opposition. And then the fisticuffs ensued. If you don't want to click on my link, just type in Taiwan pig guts into YouTube and you'll get all kinds of hits.
The ease and comfort all of the participants have in handling raw pig organs is beautiful and sexy. I'd give anything to see Mitch get a face full of pig guts. I remember TV clips from the 80's that had Taiwanese politicians fighting in the parliament, but thought they had evolved. In the search for the pig guts fight, see that it is still happens with decent frequency. Here is another recent one where they had a water balloon/chair throwing fight from 2017.
Also following up from last week, the government has announced they are going to start cracking down on tailgaters. This is long overdue...I detailed these monsters in my driving recap a month or so ago. The Transportation minister,
"pointed out that malicious tailgating threatens the safety of others and that he witnesses such behavior on a regular basis. He said it is a sign of poor driving culture and that complete reform is necessary."
Have to give this place credit for recognizing their shortcomings and taking this stuff on. Maybe they have been reading my 9 year long diatribe?
And to continue the thread about Taiwan feeling neglected and alone in the world, two stories came out this week that demonstrate that. Today, there are rumors out of Japanese media sources saying that 45 may visit Taiwan before leaving office. The author says that 45 wants to complete all "unfinished promises" before January 20th. I doubt it, mainly cause he isn't gonna get off his ass for anything other than golf and complaining, and the list of unfinished promises out of that guy would take a lifetime. The realization is that the people here would welcome Satan himself if he recognized Taiwan as an independent nation, but as Beelzebub is not available, they will happily welcome one of his minions.
The locals also got pissed at Bloomberg News for ranking Taiwan 3rd in its handling of the Covid-19 response behind New Zealand and Japan. Can't really blame them for that as the evidence laid out in that article clearly shows TW kicked all the ass. The only thing they really get dinged for is future access to the vaccine, but that isn't even a thing yet.
Instead of the standard pole dance performance for a wedding or funeral, a young man appears to have been "kidnapped" to take part in an elaborate birthday parade. At 9 p.m. on Saturday evening (Nov. 21), a male user of the Facebook group Baoyuan Commune (爆廢1公社) posted a video with the caption "My poor friend is having his birthday and he was tied to a pole dance jeep. He's just now finally passed Tainan's Dawan Road."
In the video, a scantily clad woman in a halter top, skintight shorts, white stalkings, and white high-heel shoes can be seen standing on the roof of a jeep while grasping a pole in one hand and a microphone in another. She can then be heard saying, "I'd like to first apologize to all our friends at the scene if we're disturbing you, I'm sorry! But you only celebrate your 23rd birthday once! Let's join together and help him have a birthday he'll never forget!"
She then called on bystanders to join in, exclaiming, "Can you all shout happy birthday with me? One, two, three ... Happy Birthday ... Yeah!" Next in the frame appears a man standing motionlessly as he is tied tightly with what appears to be several layers of plastic wrap to a dance pole on the trailing jeep, followed by at least two more jeeps with pole dancers at the ready.
"Instead of the standard pole dance performance for a wedding or funeral."? I didn't get a stripper jeep at my wedding, and will obviously miss out on one at my funeral. And I checked...there is nothing auspicious about the 23rd birthday that requires being saran wrapped to a jeep with strippers.
Last week was Thanksgiving. Our first Thanksgiving in Taiwan, we had the full meal at our apartment with a load of family and friends, but have always left the country for the long weekend in subsequent years. Since that wasn't an option in 2020, we arranged to rent out a house with another family for a few days.
In August, Betty and I road tripped down the east coast. We spent a night at a hot spring place in Su'ao, a couple nights at a BnB near Hualien, and then a few nights at another BnB in a town called Dulan just north of Taitung. THe SU'ao and Hualien portions of that trip were nice, but we were both blown away by Dulan. 6.5 hours drive from Taipei, it is a beach town out of the past. Where Taiwan sits geologically, the beaches are weird. On the west coast, where all the people live, it faces China across the Taiwan Straight and have never heard of a single person that has recommended, let alone been to a beach there. The east coast faces the Pacific and is along the edge of a fault, so the mountains shoot straight up near the coast, and the water drops of sharply and is at one end of the Marianas Trench. It is also new geologically, so most of that sides coast is rocky and the currents are treacherous for swimming. Add the fact that the Taiwanese are neither lovers of sun nor surf, and you do not get a ton of beach destinations that you would think would be abundant on a tropical island. I forget how we stumbled onto it, but Dulan (and a couple of other little stops nearby) are the only real surf beaches here. The small contingent of Taiwanese surfer dudes and their hippie counterparts have settled here, so the town looks like every other town here, but it is littered with cool little eateries and shops. It is a throwback to a time in the States before the BEach Boys made catching a wave trendy, and it feels like we discovered an unknown gem before anyone else. I haven't been everywhere here, but this is my favorite little spot by a long margin.
We also lucked into a really nice BnB in August...the place sits on a hill that has great views of the water and the mountains behind in perfect feng shui proportions.
They have two double and two quad rooms, and we asked the lady in August if we could use the kitchen for Thanksgiving. She said if we rented out the whole place, we were free to do as we pleased, so asked another family we know with kids and booked the place for three nights.
The other family have two daughters in the upper school and also a niece that is 20-something, and they all hail from Texas. To respect their privacy, I will refer to them as Tex ____.
We bought a cooked bird and some other fixins, cooked a bunch of side dishes and loaded up the rig. Me and Tex Dad husband drove while the rest of the gang of 10 took the train. We traveled on Thursday and planned to do Thanksgiving on Friday, so on Thursday night, we made reservations at their local French place. Betty and I tried to go there in August, but it was fully booked. We made reservations in advance for 10 for this evening. We aren't giant French food aficionados, but the name of this place made us want to go. Dulan Crap.
The food was good, and we like this family quite a bit so the night was lively. We had to ask the lady what was up with the name...like does crap mean something in French other than crap? The place is run by the lady and her 'stubborn' French husband. She was hard to understand so some of us thought she said 'sunburned' husband as a way of telling us he was black. He wasn't. We asked about the name and she said that everybody asks her that. No shit lady, you named your restaurant Crap. Anyhoo, she says on their first night in town, the owner of another restaurant they were eating at told the husband that he had a face that should be eating at the 7-11. That was as far as she got into the story. I have to assume that his response was that Dulan is crap, but 'having a face that should be eating at 7-11' is a classic put down. We saw the husband later and the description was spot on.
Here we are...
Friday was our Thanksgiving day. The BnB cooks breakfast and it was great in August and the same this go around. The caretakers use a bunch of veggies from the garden and provide probably the healthiest meal I've eaten all year.
Our plan was to hit the beach in the late morning, take a nap and then put out the spread, and we pulled it off with aplomb. The beach in August was really nice, filled with kids taking surfing lessons, but so effin' hot that I literally got blisters on my feet from the sand. This time, it was a delightful 82 degrees, the beach was empty except for us and the water was the perfect temperature. Not cold enough even to make the boy parts shrivel up. We took the football down and tossed it in the waves.
As part of our family, we brought along Carolyn's best/oldest school friend and Betty's nephew who took a semester off from university in the States to study Chinese in Taiwan. He is staying with his grandparents, which I think is Betty's uncle but could be wrong cause family relationships are very confusing. That is him on a rock with Babydoll.
Tex Dad is a gadget guy and he brought his drone to the beach. I have never seen one in operation up close and now want one. It was pretty windy on this day and I thought there was no way it was gonna fly, but the damn thing did it effortlessly. He hooks his phone to it like you would a stand in the car, and he can fly it while watching the video from the camera on the phone. And far...he flew it until we couldn't even see it, but he could eyeball its location on the phone. The kids were out of sight over some rocks on a hike and he flew it so we could spy on them, getting so close that he ultimately crashed it into one of them (and broke a little skin). While I want one, know it'd be a waste of time as I am not a gadget guy and don't have the patience to learn how to do it right before crashing it to bits.
Nap time was perfect, and then we put our T-giving feast together.
Hard to see, but in the background we hooked the NFL up to their TV and watched the entertaining Dallas v Washington game. Cobbled together a meal with all the required items, including a decent version of the Imbrogulio family mac-n-cheese. B-doll's friend has never lived in the States and this was her first exposure to a Thanksgiving throwdown...always like to be part of a person's introduction to something new.
We had pecan, Oreo cheesecake and a pumpkin pie for dessert. We originally had two pumpkin pies. Betty used her pull at Costco to reserve them in advance and when we went to pick them up, the store had long been sold out and we got some looks from others wondering where we got them. One lady even asked us and I tried to convince Betty into us selling her one of our because we obviously had more than enough dessert with one, and to be fair, the Costco pumpkin pie is not the best. That last statement might get me in trouble, but it is undeniably true. Me and Tex Mom picked up the bird the next morning and it was our job to load the coolers with all the food for the drive down. I'm trying to fit one of the oversized pumpkin pies into our regular cooler, and the thing slips out of the tray and is destroyed. I know I'm in the doghouse cause I've been railing for the last 48 hours that we only needed one and that they are shit anyway, and then this happens. I try to blame Tex Wife for the mishap but alas...
The BnB has some birds and they are allowed to roam free if the guests are cool with it. I'm indifferent to birds...when we were dating, Betty had one that she used to let fly around the apartment. Hated that effin' thing as it used to shit all over the place, but put up with it cause of love. It disappeared one day and it's my recollection that Betty left a door open. When I brought it up, I wasn't accused of killing the bird, so that must be what happened. I will admit to manslaughter of the pumpkin pie though. Tex Dad was uncomfortably comfortable with them.
The kids went and hung out and us big types played games...some Uno and something called Mexican Train dominoes (of course the Texans would bring a borderline anti-Mexican game to the table. Loads of fun and a ton of laughs.
We planned a lazy Saturday with the only activity being a 30 minute drive to the iconic sight in this part of the country, the Sanxiantai Bridge. It does look kinda cool and leads to an island where you are supposed to be able to climb around. I say supposed to as we didn't actually cross it as the weather was windy rainy and it was closed. This was the third time I've been to this site three times and have never crossed it as the first time was during a typhoon, and when Betty and I went in August, it was a million degrees and the parking lot was jammed. I got into a Mexican standoff with another car waiting for a spot and we ultimately said 'screw it' and drove off. We are planning to go down again for X-mas and look forward to missing out on the bridge again.
It does look sorta fun, but that this is the highlight of a trip to this area lets you know how remote the place is.
5 minutes from the BnB is another of the 'iconic' sights in Taitung County...Water Running Upward. That government tourist site describes it as a 'geographical miracle', but it is really an irrigation ditch that an optical illusion makes it look like it goes uphill. Tex Dad tried to improv some BS about it being on the Tropic of Cancer or something, but our know-it-all high schoolers shut him down with some classic eye rolls. Absolutely ridiculous and a must see.
We popped into Dulan proper to peruse the weekend market that is held at the Old Sugar Factory, which is a cool old building. My favorite Dulan hippie runs a stand there with his wife/daughter named The Coconut Woman. She makes crafts out of coconut leaves and he sells his home brew hot sauce. Dulan is littered with burnouts that have life all figured out and are not shy in telling you so. This guy lived in Mexico for years and his English accent is spot on East LA Chicano. His hot sauce is pretty good too.
And we then lunched at the other place we wanted to go in August that was too crowded...Dulan Fish and Chips. Not bad for fish and chips and the place is exactly what you would picture a family run beach town stand would look like. Totally chill, cool tunes, cheap Coronas, animals and small children meandering in and out...loved every bit of it.
Oh yeah...shaved ice is big in this country but is not my thing. Our table got the red bean on the recommendation of the proprietors, and the ice was fine, but they did a little number on the top of it. Not sure exactly what they made it with, but it tasted exactly like a good creme brulee. None of the shaved ice connoisseurs had ever seen or tasted anything like it.
Can you tell I am enamored of this little spot of the globe. It feels like we discovered it and hesitate to talk it up in fear of it being ruined.
That's about it...we had leftovers along with some tasty brisket that Tex lovingly smoked for dinner and that was that. The Texans trained it home and we drove. We took the long way as we wanted to have lunch at a spot in Hualien that we visited in August called Salt Lick. All Western menu, but the draw for us was some deep dish pizza. Not as good as the best Chicago has to offer, but certainly better than some of what I've had there. A treat that can only be found in this country here.
Talking to B-doll this week and she mentioned that the friend she brought told her that her parents, who are decidedly locals, asked her "how white was the weekend". First of all, very. Second, I am simply floored by their racism and would never say such a thing personally. OK, that is exactly something I would say and I love that family for it.
Quick blast today as this Thursday is Thanksgiving and there is a ton going on in anticipation of it. The Boy passed his covid tests and is in the air back to TW as I type. He goes to an apartment for two week quarantine and we have to get him set up with food and such tomorrow as we are headed out of town for the holiday.
The family and some friends have rented out a house near the southeastern city of Taitung for the long weekend. The house is in a little burgh a few miles north of Taitung called Dou Lan (Dulan). Betty and I stayed there in August during a week we spent driving around (that I've still yet to detail) and we loved it. It is a surf town in the style of old 70's California ones, where the shops and restaurants are all run by burnouts and the vibe is particularly mellow. We rented out the whole place with another family and are gonna prepare a proper T-day feast complete with NFL on the screen.
Gonna share three quicky local news items this week with the first being a concentrated government effort to clamp down on scooter and bicyclists that ride on the sidewalks. Always assumed that this was legal as you see it constantly, and hard to blame folks staying off the roads with the a-hole drivers that give half a shit about cutting off anything, but it is super dangerous and cannot stand it. Years ago when the Boy was still here and a scooter nearly clipped us on the sidewalk and I said that I fantasize about clotheslining these scofflaws, and he said he did too. I know it is abhorrent to him, but he has almost all of my bad traits. Anyhoo, potential progress in Taiwan's quest to become first worlders.
Another story about the roads (you know how much I love them) is one where Taiwan is way ahead of the world. In 2021, they will start using acoustic cameras using an array of 32 microphones, a host computer and camera to detect the license plate to catch vehicles exceeding a certain level of decibels.. Fines will be US252. Brilliant use of technology to curb these guys (always guys) that need people to notice them by making loud noises. We leave our windows open all the time and live on a major road where these damaged souls love to wind their souped up scouters and piece of shit Nissans in the middle of the night. Never bothers me cause I sleep the sleep of the just, but as one that is sensitive to light, appreciate those sensitive to sound and there is no good reason for that crap. Suspect this will never be allowed to cross the Pacific cause of Americans freedoms to be a loud piece of shit.
Finally, I totally missed this protest, but thousands marched last weekend against imports of US pork. If you know anything about the Asians, they love them some pork products. To cozy up to the US government, Taiwan chose to lift the ban on US beef and pork products recently. They don't seem too peeved at the beef imports, probably because they don't eat it as much and the lack of grazing land here prohibits a vibrant cattle industry. But they prize their pork and the problem they have with the American kind is that US producers allow the use of a hormone called ractopamine to make the pigs grow bigger and give leaner meat. Not much detail in that article about ractopamine, and I'm way too lazy to research, and have ingested all manner of pesticides and hormones in my 55 years to give a rat's at this point, but good on them for taking a stand. Maybe. The protest was organized by the opposition KMT party and this might just be a political ploy to rile up their base...yes they do that everywhere. The KMT can't criticize the party in power cause the crushed the virus, so this wreaks as a way to stay relevant. Still, as a card carrying member on Antifa, I love a good protest and absolutely would have gone down to lend my white ass to their cause.
One follow-up to last time and the story of the guy that was shaken out of his coma by the words chicken fillet. The miracle foodstuff when I'm in my coma is definitely Meatball Sandwich, but what I have found to be a great topic of conversation is to ask people what would be their go-to life saving food item. It really gets the minds working and is a terrific ice breaker. In other Meatball Sandwich saving the world news, a college student got a do over on an exam when she explained to her professor that a meatball fell out of her sandwich and onto her laptop during an on-line exam and logged her out of it prematurely. The teacher had never had this excuse before and was so taken by the situation that he let the student retake the exam. You can read about it here, there are even pictures. If I was a college kid, I would be in love with this co-ed.
Last time I cleaned up a bunch of old stories about Taiwan, and intend to do the same with some pressing global issues today. This burrito holder is proof that geniuses walk amongst us. It's one of those ideas that makes you kick yourself for not thinking of the obvious things. Upon closer inspection, it isn't really that innovative a product, just a burrito shaped tupperware...sexy but still. And at 50 bucks, is anyone gonna really buy it? No jokes or insight to share for this, I just think burritos are really cool. And who doesn't need a bit of good news these days?
You will also be happy to know that my crusade against the use of the word pride continues. It remains a balancing act not only cause I am most certainly not against capital "P" Gay Pride, but people get so touchy when they get called out on it. "I'm proud of you" is said so often that it feels as meaningless as "How are you" in that it is a thing lazy minded people will say to congratulate someone, but once again, taking pride in others efforts is as mighty selfish so if you catch yourself saying it, or when you hear it out of others, think about another way to tell someone they worked hard and did a good job at something. I bring this up yet again as this funny George Carlin bit popped up on YouTube the other day so thought I'd share...Pride goeth before the fall.
And if you want some more scholarly reasons why this is a shitty thing to say, here are three reasons, and here are some strategies to come up with meaningful alternatives cause I know you mean well, you just sound like a narcissistic jerk that doesn't put much thought into their words.
I do think that I am making progress on the overuse of the word actually. Another bit that popped up in my YouTube recommendations is this SNL sketch called Passive-Aggressive Pam. Note how her use of 'actually' accentuates her passive aggressiveness.
And you have got to read this article titled 9 Behaviors That Make You Seem Like A Condescending Jerk. Number 1? Using the word actually too often...I say just eliminate it altogether. Do not share this stuff just to rattle your cage, but read them with an eye on my own self improvement. The 9th behavior is one that I am very guilty of...cracking jokes at the wrong time. Here are a couple of paragraphs from that...
There is a time and place for humor—most times and most places, in fact. But there are times when making a joke is uncalled-for—not inappropriate, per se, but unnecessary and potentially condescending. “Men don’t have always have the skillset to sit in their feelings,” Crossman says. “When things get deep, they’ll make a joke.”
Crossman attended an event to honor his old running coach, and one of the runners—who went on to be an Olympian—was telling an emotional story about how important the coach had been to him. The old coach, made uncomfortable by the tale, blurted out a joke. “He couldn’t handle how heavy the story was,” says Crossman. Be aware when someone’s trying to make a statement and deal with the emotions rather than make a joke to distract yourself.
Since I crack jokes all the time, I know that some/many of them are at the wrong time. Haven't done a good job regulating this cause they are reflexive, but do know that I am trying. And lighten the fuck up.
Here is a topic that I have seen people shaming other people for recently that I had no idea was a thing. We aren't putting two spaces after a period anymore? I know this was drilled into me throughout my formative years but now it is ridiculed (probably by millenials) as being something the cavemen used to do? Am perfectly fine with this, just wish that we were all informed about the change via lengthy telegram or fax.
Do you have Spotify? A late adopter of it a couple years ago but have listened to it almost exclusively ever since. I started a playlist early on and now have many, but there is one that has been the receptical of all sorts of songs. I know that no one likes the music I love, but this playlist isn't my normal go-to stuff, but is rather music that has flowed through my transom from all kinds of sources and think it is bullet proof. Music from the last 100 years, it is heavier with some genres over others, but it is bouncy and cool in a hipster way from every decade and am really happy with it. It's over 100 hours long now and is best listened to on shuffle. You can click on this link to get it and then hit follow or send me a note and can invite you via whatever medium you prefer. Seriously, it costs you nothing and will give your money back if you don't like it.
Last time I communicated with you about media, I was in the middle of hate watching the show House. It got worse as it went along, but I cannot quit a show once invested and finished it off. After that, I watched something called Counterpart, which has that JK Simmons guy as a spy in Germany who travels between parallel universes and interacts with his counterpart in the other one. It is Sci-fi spy thriller of two seasons and recommend it if you've run out of everything else and are looking for something weird. The Mandalorian season 2 is on now and that thing is just about perfect. I also got into the show Fargo. Had avoided it cause the movie was so great and could not believe the show would be any good, but it is incredible and give it 5 stars...last episode of season 4 comes out next Monday. And will admit that I am still watching stupid NCIS and Bull...the season premiere of Bull was last night and might just be the worst piece of TV I've seen in a looooong time. You can say a lot of bad things about me, but disloyalty is not one of them.
Finally for today, cannot believe that there is a need to go around this block one more time. Ran into an old acquaintance in the States on line this week and their crazy escaped with a volunteered matter of fact statement that masks were worthless. My eyes literally start bouncing inside my head at the fucking death cultists continuing to swallow this garbage. Now if this old acquaintance were a light bulb, he would not be on the Vegas Strip. I wouldn't even say he's a dim bulb, but is like one of those florescent ones that flickers on and off...more off than on and always surprises you when it flicks on unexpectedly. First of all, science. Tried to relate how great it is to live here and for life to be totally normal and death free in no small part to the rabid use of masks to prevent transmission. There has not been a single locally transmitted case in over 200 days, but in anticipation of the cold season where transmission rates are higher, the country is reinstituting mask requirements in all public gathering places starting December 1st. Here are the specifics should you care.
They want us sane patriots (wearing a mask should be a sign of patriotism, no?) to play nice with these chumps to close the political divide, but gawdamn, where do you even start? After a patient telling of this person about my first hand account of how it works here, I got back a reiteration that of his 'belief' that masks do nothing. I signed off by telling him not to kill his mom over the holidays and think he thought that was funny.
Thought that for this week, I'd share some local news items that have backed up over the summer, but first, have a story that has been bugging me something fierce that I need to share.
At Babydolls school, when you come into high school as a Freshmen, they assign everyone a teacher to act as a Student Advisor. This Advisor will follow you throughout high school so if they don't leave, you have them for 4 years. This Advisor gets a handful of kids, like 6-8, and they meet every few weeks in a group to talk about stuff. Not a grade counselor or college advisor, but a person that can take the kids emotional temperature to make sure all is well with them. A great idea as it gives the kids one person that can get to know them in a way so they can tell if they are coming off the rails.
The dude she has was also her math teacher one year and we meet with him at parent teacher conferences each year so have gotten to know him relatively well over the years. He's always seemed quirky to me, and as he is an avid runner, I never really trusted him, but for the most part felt he was benign. Had daddy/daughter dinner the other night and B-doll shared a story about how 'disappointed' she was in her Advisor. Last week, when the election was done but not decided, they had a conversation about it. Not clear if someone asked, or if he volunteered it, but the Advisor said that he didn't vote. Well that sure is being a great role model for the kids at an American school. He goes on to add that if he did vote, it probably woulda been for 45. Then he volunteered that he'd vote for him as he couldn't vote for Biden as he announced he was going to nominate a woman VP before he began his search in earnest.
First, fucking bullshit. I never really considered this guys politics or moral compass, but that "reasoning" is code for every piece of shit white guy take that they are being usurped by everyone that isn't a piece of shit white guy. I guarantee you this boob thinks he's an open minded guy too. That he can overlook all of 45's heinousness, 230k and counting dead should be more than enough, and site Biden choosing to select one of the extremely high qualified women to be the first female VP in history as his reason to overlook all of it sickened Babydoll, and me by extension. And that he felt cool enough with his take to tell this to a young woman of color? I called him a boob, but that is way too nice cause I like boobs. Am planning my strategy to take this garbage out.
OK...so what has been happening around these parts? .
A couple of weeks ago, Taiwan passed 200 days without a single case of C-19 being transmitted locally. You can read about it here. Still get cases coming in from overseas, but since everyone is quarantined upon arrival in a textbook demonstration of contact tracing, they don't get out to infect the rest of us. Taiwan sits at 500 cases total and 7 deaths. This news made the rounds internationally and I had several U.S. friends send it back to me asking how they/we did it. Certainly no secret and have detailed it in this space a few times, but the most obvious thing that I could share was that the folks here wear the masks with fervor. That the outgoing president decided early on to make mask wearing a political issue, one that Biden will find difficult to turn around since some are so willing to be in the cult that they cannot absorb common sense, that would be the place to start.
Another story about Taiwan (here is the local version of it) that made certain news sites and I had to answer was that Taiwan stood out as one of the few countries that "favored 45". I was asked if/how that was possible and had to confirm that it was. There is a certain element of the population here that thinks 45 is tough on China, and sees his selling of arms to Taiwan and that he sent an official here a couple months ago as evidence of some unwavering support of Taiwan. That official was HHS Secretary Azar and was the highest ranking official to visit Taiwan since 1979, and that was a huge deal to the locals as it should have been as any international recognition here is treated like being bestowed some holy legitimacy. As an example of that, check out this story from the paper today that shows Kamala sitting with her Taiwanese counterpart at a lunch on prosecuting drug offenders in 2015 as evidence she is pro-Taiwan. Here is another where the local press is weighing in on a possible Biden defense secretary pick saying she is good cause she has stated that the US could sink the Chinese navy in 72 hours. Oooof.
That Azar trip was ostensibly one for him to come here to learn strategies on how to deal with the Covid. Obviously that was total BS as nothing was ever mentioned about the visit or what he learned since, and any person remotely fluent in geopolitics knows it was a stunt to piss off China, which it did of course. The folks here are so desperate to be acknowledged that they will swallow any tripe that legitimizes them. I know it was not mentioned in the States, and was quickly swept under the rug here, but in John Bolton's book (remember when that came out a couple of months ago that seems like years), there was a passage where he talks about how 45 feels about the Taiwan/China issue. Here is the full story, but the relevant paragraph is:
Bolton wrote that Trump has blown off China's human rights abuses in Xinjiang and Hong Kong and downplayed the U.S.'s commitments to Taiwan. In a quote released by NPR, Bolton claimed Trump seemed to think very little of Taiwan: "Although it came in several variations, one of Trump's favorite comparisons was to point to the tip of one of his Sharpie [marker's] and say, 'This is Taiwan,' then point to [his desk in the Oval Office] and say, 'This is China.'"
Anyone that is not oxygen deprived knows 45 wouldn't lift a fat stubby finger to defend Taiwan. Poke China and sell some bullets? No problemo. I don't blame the locals for being suckered in, but they are still suckers nonetheless and react the same way suckers everywhere react when their suckitutde is pointed out.. I think that is the takeaway from this era but what has always been true...that there are gullible, easily impressionable, intellectually incurious people in every corner of the planet and amongst every creed, color and gender and they are being hyper-exploited by cell phones and social media. Anyhoo, the Taiwanese falling for 45's seeming devotion to the island reminded me of Lisa Simpson when Springfield Elementary's teachers went on strike.
Before moving on from poking the Chinese bear, local Costco was name checked for this.
I don't fully understand this article, but I know from South Park that people equate Chinese dictator Xi Jingping with Winnie the Pooh and locals found this deflated look of a Winnie the Pooh costume to be hilarious cause as the photographer wrote,
"Sad Winnie... I'll take you home. For NT$297, I can buy you and take you back to wear as pajamas."
It goes onto say that Xi is "a tubby little cubby ass stuffed with fluff". Humor rarely translates well.
What always translates perfectly is a team mascot..
The fish head mascot of a semi-pro baseball team, Sababoy was designed to promote tourism in the city of Tainan. I share this as a demonstration as to why we don't vaction much around the island. Visit Tainan...come for the baseball, stay for the fish heads. Eat them up, Yum!
Last week was the annual gay pride parade in town. Wasn't able to go this year, but it is a pretty big deal. Always the largest in Asia and with C-19, at 135,000 reported marchers, the largest on the planet in 2020. They've come along way here, with same sex marriage being allowed by law last year, but some parts of the government aren't too cool with it yet. License plates here have a system with them being 3 letters and then 4 numbers. This article from August relates that the government still bans the letter combination GAY as a viable plate due to its "alleged controversial nature" Also not allowed on the 24 combo list are SEX and BRA, which probably get those tandem scooter riders all moistened up when they see it. Also banned are the words CAT, PUP, ANT and APE. I tried to find more info about the whole list and why some of these combos made the list to no avail.
This piece of news from September was welcome and long overdue. "Taiwan to fine drivers for not yielding to pedestrians" I won't dwell on the asshole moves that has to be taught in driver's ed. here, but this is in the top 3 most egregious. Someone is in the middle of a clearly marked crosswalk and dipshit drivers will cut them off. The almost complete lack of patrolmen issuing tickets means that unless you kill someone, you can pretty much do as you see fit. They only start enforcing stuff once enough people have been maimed or killed...I wonder if there is a ghoulish rubric for that.
Related, Taiwan teen woken from 62-day coma by words chicken fillet" Of course he was in the coma from as a result of a traffic accident. These articles are typically short, but in it are two passages that describe his condition in exquisite detail...in the accident Mr Chiu suffered,
subdural hydrops, pneumothorax, laceration of spleen, right kidney, and liver, bleeding from abdominal cavity fractures, common iliac artery bleeding, and most of his internal organs were seriously damaged.
and his surgeries included,
craniotomy, laparotomy, right kidney nephrectomy, splenectomy, liver repair, right clavicle and right femur open reduction and internal fixation (ORIF), bilateral internal iliac artery embolization to stop bleeding, and enterostomy.
One almost needs medical training to get through those descriptions. A nurse attending to Mr Chiu said he went through a "constant war with the God of death" and said he was awoken when "his older suddenly joked 'Brother, I'm going to eat you your favorite chicken fillet'". Should I ever be in a coma, suggest frequent mentions of meatball sandwiches and chili dogs as part of my treatment.
Also related, scooters are most certainly not allowed on the freeways. I know I have a bunch of clicks in today's entry but most are there to go to if you wanted more info. You have got to click on this one and scroll to the bottom and watch this dipshit cause a 10 car pile-up. As a ton of cars have dash cams, there are some great angles.
Aw hell...while we're at it, sharing a couple YouTube video compilations of Taiwan scooter crashes. Russian ones are more spectacular, mainly as they include crazy Ivans screaming and yelling, but these will give you a sense for the challenges the locals have with depth perception.
A 28 year old man fell on a 54 year old woman driving a scooter. Police are investigating The woman cites her good fortune for not being injured as she has had many family members pass away this year and that they were the cause of blessing or good fortune that kept her from further injury. I've been shitty to some of my relatives, can their spirits travel internationally? My favorite line from all of the articles today is in this story. Describing the woman's scooter..."
The handlebar and one of the rearview mirrors of her scooter were damaged.
