November 22, 2012

Was reading this article on the 20 most dangerous vacation destinations, and Taiwan came in at #19 (just in front of New Zealand).  Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan were 1-3.  About Taiwan, they write that:

Taiwan offers the beautiful city of Taipei as well as access to the largest collection of Chinese artifacts in the world. Despite its cultural sites, the country is plagued with natural disasters. In fact, more than 70% of the island is prone to experiencing at least three different types of natural disasters, including: floods, earthquakes, typhoons, windstorms, and landslides.

We've experienced landslides and typhoons first hand. 

They left out the part about the balding properties of the acid rain...I never saw that mentioned in any of the tour guides.  Needless to say, since the acid rain discovery the other day, we are all carrying umbrellas now.  I have also thought it strange that all the cars here are newish when I was expecting them to be refurbished relics from the Vietnam era US Army "occupation", much like the frozen in time 50's vintage cars in Cuba.  But with acid rain, they all must have a short shelf life and disintegrate at a younger age. 

Another thing they left out of the article are the dangers to your health posed by the local driving techniques.  A tourist probably isn't driving much on their own, but they have to get in cabs at the least, or will walk on the streets somewhat, and with everyone driving like they are particles in the Large Hadron Collider, the risk of getting blasted into a Higgs boson is a clear and present danger.  

Regarding driving...received my fifth speeding ticket this week.  Another speed cam job...Betty is convinced we are subsidizing a good portion of the cities budget at this point.  Quite an efficient system and they must rake it the bucks from it as little to no actual police are involved in the process.  We are now aware (since I've been popped by everyone of them) of all the traffic cams on our daily commute and it is obvious that everyone else is too.  They all drive like bats outta hell, but as they approach a camera, they all slam on their brakes to a turtles pace as they go through the radar range, then gas it onto the next red light, at which they will run on many occasions. 

I could write a daily diary about the absolute non-sensical driving maneuvers that we see, but it would be repetitive after a short while...and they all come down to the question of whether the driver is stupid or asshole.  I do have to get a couple of the more common ones off my chest though. 

On a three of four lane road, you will often see a car drifting all the way to the left lane, but within a few yards of the intersection, decide that is the time for a right turn and will literally veer across all the lanes to make their turn. 

The other scenario is the impatient turner...this is the guy that arrives at an intersection and a car or two is sitting in the left turn lane waiting for a break in oncoming traffic to ease to make their turn.  The impatient guy will move around the waiting cars and pull in front of the first car in the turn lane so he can go first.  Often times his car is sticking into either the oncoming traffic lanes, so those cars have to veer around him (possibly hitting scooters that are careening alongside of those cars), or is sticking out into the through lanes of his own street also causing cars to veer around him into potential accidents.  I know this is an illegal move as I have studied their traffic "laws", but this is an absolute common and expected maneuver.  It seems like such an F-U move that this a-hole thinks his time and existence in this life is superior to anyone elses's that I seriously feel violence welling up inside me towards them. Being able to articulate this frustration helps me find my happy place.  I cannot wait to get to Italy in a few weeks to glimpse first hand at how they drive as their "creativity" on the roads is legendary and to see how it compares to TW.

In Chinese class the other day, we were learning the names for furniture and discussion turned to why the Japanese tables are so low and how that culture sits on the floor.  The teacher (who is now my go-to source on everything cultural) said that the Japanese originated from China, but they emigrated to those countries before the invention of the chair in China about 500 years ago and never widely adopted the use of it in their society.  I am then guessing that is the cause as to why Japanese butts evolved as they have as they do not start protruding a good 4-5 inches lower than those of the rest of the world. 

The Turducken game invented yesterday is providing endless hours of entertainment and predict it will be sweeping the nation Gangnam style soon enough.  To recap, a Tuducken is a Thanksgiving treat where a chicken is stuffed into a duck and then stuffed into a turkey.  The game is to who can come up with the "best" Chinese version of the Turducken...last nights winner was the Turdogat, which is a rat/dog/turkey combo.  Feel free to submit your concoction in the comments and we will announce the winner at Christmas.

Finally...stumbled across this SNL clip about the iPhone 5.  We've been quoting it liberally and now perform the Traditional Chinese Sarcastic Dance whenever someone starts whining.

November 21, 2012

A benefit of uprooting your life and moving into something completely new is how it forces your brain to reactivate.  Living somewhere, or doing anything the same over a long period of time makes the little things a lot easier, and I find myself longing for the similar.  At the same time, I can feel my mind expanding and searching out for new things, and find myself asking "why" a lot more.  One of the questions I have asked frequently is why are the locals so afraid of the water...in particular the rain.  They will all immediately pop their umbrellas out at the lightest of sprinkles and will keep them up long after the rain has stopped. 

In Seattle, the use of umbrellas is negligible and it is more a sign of a true local to walk around in the rain without one.  Some people (OK, the Q&A section of the Playboy centerfolds) will say that a turn-on for them is a walk on the beach.  I like those too, but I also love a nice walk in the rain. 

So I've been asking what the deal is with the umbrellas to nearly everyone I meet and never got a good answer...until today.  My Chinese teacher is a fantastic resource for cultural information.  She gives a real answer, unlike Betty or our cousin Sharon that just makes stuff up in an attempt to shock or horrify us.  The teacher said the reason for the umbrellas is due to the acid rain.  Shit.  She said to wear something black in the rain and you'll see that'll make permanent spots on your clothing.  It'll also make you go bald.  Double shit.  I have noticed a lot more hair falling out lately.  I read up on it a bit and it is true, and although they say it has gotten better in the last few years, increased pollution coming from China doesn't bode well for it to go away.  I was watching CNN during their coverage of the mainland Chinese power transfer the other day, and the correspondent was talking with the city in the background and the pollution was horrific...way worse than what I remember in LA in the 70's.  Check this out.   

Another answer I got recently was why there are so many stray dogs roaming the streets.  They don't seem wild and as I 've posted before, they seem quite smart and harmless.  What I was told was that when people grow tired of their dogs, they just kick them out of the house and loose on the street.  That made me sad...

Speaking of dogs, Thanksgiving is tomorrow and we are going to have about 17 family and friends over to celebrate.  We have an oven, but it's kinda small and the temperature is a bit unpredictable, so have ordered one from a tasty American BBQ joint that we discovered recently.  You know what a Turducken is of course...well here they have a Turdogen. 

November 20, 2012

The have a saying here that goes...Xiao jie mai sheme?  Xiao Jie mai gui xi fu.  Translated, that means, if you don't like the weather in Taipei, wait 5 minutes and shoot yourself in the face. 

Seriously, the weather has been really nice for the last month, but had a chance to break out that old joke (first heard about Seattle) as we suffered through really crappy weather at Paul's baseball games last Saturday and told it at dinner with the family later that night.  It took the kids a bit to get the awesomeness that is that joke, but to their credit, they finally appreciated it.  I know they did as later in the meal, we were reflecting on a meal that Betty cooked years ago where she put a new ingredient in one of the kids favorite meals and "ruined" it for them.  After rehashing that traumatic incident, I say to Paul, "If you don't like the food that your Mom cooks for you...", he said without skipping a beat, "I'll wait 5 minutes and shoot myself in the face." 

Back to baseball, it was the second part of their tournament and they had to win two games to get the trophy and they were victorious in both with scores of 6-1 and 8-3.  The second game was tied 3-3 going into the last inning when they busted it open with 5 runs.  Paul is still holding his own against the older competition going 3-7 with a walk and a couple of stolen bases on the day.

 

The problem was that it was Seattle weather...low 60's with a cool breeze along the river for the 8AM game, then a steady to heavy rain for the noon Championship game.  In spite of the downpour, the fellas were very happy with the outcome.

I keep hearing that it is cold here, but low 70's in the day and upper 60's at night still feels like summer to me.  My teacher says that dry cold only hits your skin, but the wet cold here goes all the way to the bone.  I always thought that Seattle was wet cold, so we'll see, but anyone that's been here a while swears that I'll be wearing a light jacket by this time next year, and a down coat in year 3. 

We lost the Grandma at Chinese class...she hasn't been for a while and the teacher thinks she went back home.  She was struggling with the culture shock and wasn't too surprised.  I hope she didn't stop coming when I laughed out loud at her when she claimed that the only legitimate news outlet was Fox News..."The only one that's fair and balanced." she said.  I do think I pissed off the other lady in my class lat Monday.  We were learning country names and she wanted to know the country name for Wales.  The teacher has taught Chinese in many countries (including Europe) and she was confused as Wales is a part of the UK, but lady was adamant about being Welsh and not British.  The conversation went like this:

Teacher: Is the Queen still the head of state?
Wales: Yes, but we are our own nation.
Me: Does Wales field their own Olympic team?
Wales: No, put my (British) passport says my nationality is Welsh.
Teacher: Do you have your own currency?
Wales: No...you just don't understand, we are our own country.
Me: Does Wales have their own seat at the UN?
Wales: (looking more agitated) No...we are our own country and it is insulting when people say that we aren't.
Me: Sounds like you're a POME (Prisoner Of Mother England) to me.

That's when I got the stinkiest of eyes and we all decided it was time to move on.  Here is what Wikipedia has to say about it.  Kind of sounds like it's the crackpot segment of their society, no?  Perhaps I'm being my usual unsympathetic self, but it seems awfully provincial...like the butt-heads that want to secede from the Union since the last election.  I can understand a group like the Armenians or Kurds striving for autonomy after centuries of persecution, but the Welsh?  And perhaps it's my love of the Star Trek dream of a future where we all speak the same tongue and consider ourselves part of a single race, rather than finding comfort by putting up walls to our own little worlds.      Regardless...don't let them free England!

We've been here roughly 4 months, and can already see some major changes in the kids.  Carolyn had attended Catholic school since Kindergarten, and she had always been the "religious" one in our family because of it.  She would always call me on using the Lords name in vain for instance.  The other day as we were driving to school and people were walking in the middle of the street without moving to the side, I had to give 'em a little toot of the horn.  Carolyn pipes up from the back seat and says, "Jesus, these people walk worse than they drive!"

Kinda caught me off guard and didn't have a reply ready other than laughing.  Oh well, am not in the running for Father of the Year anyway.

In an never ending thirst for all that is Chinese superstition, heard a couple of new ones lately that were too good not to pass along. 

First, if you point at the moon, your ears will rot.  My hearing is starting to go but always thought it was from years of pummeling them with way too loud rock and roll.

Second, men that are ticklish are afraid of their wives. Not sure about this one either as I am certainly not ticklish, but am definitely afraid of my wife.

Finally, from previous experiences in living overseas, one of the realities was that you miss out on certain pop culture trends.  I remember coming back from Argentina wondering what the whole Twin Peaks thing was about.  With the advancement of technology and being able to watch TV and listen to any radio station live wherever we are, am going to be able to keep up with such important trends like Honey Boo Boo.  Am wondering if it also goes both ways.  The biggest thing here (rivaling the heat of The Macaraina back in the day) is this artist called PSY and his song Gangnam Style.  The song and video truly are pure genius and the kids and I do the dance moves to perfection.  They have TV stations dedicated to the K-Pop genre (phenomenon?).  With the exception of PSY, it's all total crap, but the locals are totally in.  Pictures of the K-Pop stars on their notebooks, the hip kids sporting retro Flock of Seagull haircuts, etc. 

Oh yeah...twenty days into Mo-vember and am feelin' like one of ZZ Tops illegitimate children. 

Howdy

November 16, 2012

Promised a photo of the dog in stroller phenomenon.  Not only do I keep my promises, I go above and beyond.  Sorry about the iPhone rotation.

They seemed pissed that I was taking their photo, but they were damned cute.

November 14, 2012

I love stereotypes.  I think they are directionally correct and you can have a lot of laughs with them.  Again...not true in all cases, but are more true than not for gender, races, ages, political affiliation, etc.  I know it isn't politically correct to be so enamored by them, but this diary never claimed to be PC.

Heard about a new sub-ethnic group of Chinese this week called the Hakka.  If you read the Wiki definition  of them, you'll find they are a proud and influential group that has contributed much to Chinese history.  The resentment must come from the fact that they are migratory and settle in other provinces. We were having lunch with a friend here (Mexican raised in Canada) that married into a Hakka family, and he was going off on his Hakka mother-in-law.  Really wish I had a recording of it as he described how truly horrible, mean and cheap she is...hilarious.  Always complaining he doesn't make enough money, spent her husbands entire pension on new teeth forcing him to go back to work at half pay, eating rotten vegetables so as not to waste money buying fresh ones, and so on.  They were described as equal parts gypsy, Mexican and Jewish...even the word Hakka cannot be said without total contempt.  Try it...it's fun. 

While we're on the stereotype run, heard a good one about "Asian" eyes.  Obviously, there is a scientific aspect to why the structure of the eyes in Asia are genetically different that those in other parts of the world.  But as usual, the man on the street can simplify it in such a way as to make the world make perfect sense.  We were talking about the difference between the different Asian countries, along how they all look the same line, and heard this...you can tell the difference between them as the edges of Japanese eyes go up, Korean eyes go straight across, and Chinese go down.  So simple, but upon closer inspection...so true.  The Chinese, due to the geographic size are much more diverse (of course), but all in all, I have noticed this to be true.  Will save some of my other observartions about the Japanese and Koreans for another day.

Went to the final book discussion group at the kids school last Thursday.  The book is called How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen (And How To Listen So Your Kids Will Talk).  I have recommended this book in a previous post, but I love this book so much that have to do so again.  The lessons on how to deal with people, not just kids, are so simple yet work so well.  I catch myself a lot not doing what it promotes, and then seeing how the conversation turns negative, but the instant you start to talk/listen in the way the book describes, the person you are dealing with attitude changes immediately and positively.  True genius...if you read one book this year, I would consider this one.

So anyway, we were talking about differences between Western and Chinese culture with respect to families and how they take care of their elders.  Again, it's a stereotype, but in the West, children aren't expected to take in their elder parents, while in Asia, it is the expectation that you not only take care of them, but take them into your home.  I've noticed that the while the Chinese have friends, that they do more social things with their families than with their friends.  From my experience, I love my family deeply, but also consider my friends to be part of my family and treat them exactly (if not better) than my own family sometimes.  The consensus in the group (equal parts Chinese and Western) was this was true but that the Chinese were becoming more "Westernized" in this respect.  I was asked what my feeling/expectation was about my own kids taking care of me in my old age and it was my feeling that while I did not expect them to take care of me, I would hope that I raised them to want to do so. 

Carolyn's class has had a swimming unit the last few weeks.  The whole class goes to the pool three times a week and learns basic swimming safety skills, and yesterday, the parents were invited to come watch what they had been learning.  Very practical lessons on how to wear and use a life vest.

How to help a person that is struggling in the water.

How to dive, etc.

What they couldn't explain was the (stereotype) pathological fear of the Taiwanese to water.  For a race that lives on an island that gets a lot of rainfall, the aversion to water seems odd.  Carolyn and I were eating dinner at an open air restaurant the other night on a day in which it had rained, and we were counting the number of people that had umbrellas open, and it wasn't even raining.   At the swimming class, the teacher was giving an introduction and said that they had swimsuits ready for the parents to get in the water...it was a joke of course, but the poor Chinese moms were starting to freak out that they were going to have to get in with the kids.  Probably didn't help when I announced that I didn't need one as I prefer to swim naked.  My "brand" of humor still isn't getting through unfortunately. 

November 9, 2012

Sometimes when I sit down to post, I have a definite idea as to what's gonna come out...today is not one of those days. 

Last night was one of those where the wind was blowing down from the hills north of us, and the hills are alive with the smell of thermal activity.  Tons of hot springs bubbling up from the not so far away meshing of tectonic plates and releasing a heady steam of sulfur into the air.  Not the greatest smell, but it is something to a person with a love of How The Earth Was Made that makes this place so interesting....the knowledge that the ground below you is so alive.  That linked episode abouut gold from one of the greatest documentary shows ever is really worth watching.

This morning, took Betty early and there were not many people about.  At one intersection, saw a couple of girls that were all dressed up and looked like they were talking the walk of shame.  I think I noticed them mainly due to their legs being so skinny.  The combination of a little black cocktail dress and scrawny little legs made me coin a new term for that look...swizzle sticks.  Think it's going to take off.

That reminds me of something I learned at Chinese class the other day...our teacher is very sincere in telling us that the Chinese language is easy to learn in so many ways.  A common theme for her is that while there are over 1.5 million English words, there are only 50,000 Chinese characters.  Not only that, but words are continuously being added to the English dictionary, while in Chinese, they never add a new character but combine old ones for new inventions.  For instance, airplane in translated as a flying machine and a computer is an electronic brain.  I can see a benefit in keeping it simple, especially as someone new to a language, but there is something about the variety of the English language that allows one to turn a phrase that is far more interesting.  Has to be a total bitch to learn it, but has to be the reason why English is the language of comedy. 

On our route home from the Costco, we pass by this duck store...it has my favorite neon sign in town and finally snapped a picture to share.  No commentary, just think it's cool.

 

Finally for today, it's November 9th and we're 1/3 of the way into MO-vember...that special time of year when the fellas are encouraged to grow facial hair as part of prostate cancer awareness month.  It's a great time for yours truly as I've been able to grow the thickest of beards ever since I was 16 (which made me the designated under age alcohol buyer), but even more so as the Chinese just don't have that gene in their DNA (wonder what the Chinese call DNA).  It's a common trait amongst humans to be envious of what you don't have, and have been getting frequent envious comments from the men.  So far, the chicks seem equally split between being horror and arousal.  At the 7-11 this morning, this little little girl was just staring at me with her mouth agape.  Was chatting with Carolyn's 4th grade teacher at a Parent/Teacher function (with free booze) on Tuesday about facial hair, and he asked me if I knew why the Italians wore gold chains?  To let them know where to stop shaving of course. 

Hi, y'all.

November 7, 2012

Just got back from Chinese class...surprisingly, I am not hating it.  Having been arouund it for so long, it is much easier for me to understand conceptually than it is for my classmates.  The grandma on the other hand, has no chance.  She has so many excuses...today's was that her anti-seizure medicine affects her short term memory.  The teacher said she should study and then it would become long term.  The grandma also claimed that CNN stood for Communist News Network and that she missed Fox News cause it was the only one that was "fair and balanced".  Blows my mind. 

Side note...sitting here now watching the results come in and cannot tell you how glad I am that the pro-rapists Aiken and Mourdock both lost today.  I pray that the GOP gets the message to get out of the personal liberty business and focuses only on some good ol' fashioned fiscal conservatism. 

We were talking about social etiquette today in class and the teacher agreed that the Chinese don't get it.  Am a firm believer in holding doors and saying thank you when someone does...no one ever even acknowledges that you hold a door open and will always let one fly back on you as they go through one.  I saw an old fella nearly get knocked down this morning coming out of a shop by a young person.  They are very big on respecting the elders in their family, but screw you if you aren't blood.  You see it manifested everywhere, especially on the roads...gonna need to do something about it. 

Here is a "fact" I had not heard before...did you know that the grey hair on your head is genetic, but that having grey pubic hairs is caused by stress?  Don't ask me how I know...but I can say with pride that I am stress-free!

November 5, 2012

Couple of things I keep forgetting to mention.

First...if you should be thinking about a visit to Taiwan, October and (so far) November has seen absolutely perfect weather.  Highs in the low 80's/upper 70's and never getting lower than upper 60's at night.  A bit humid, but manageable.  Not sure if I would recommend it as a vacation destination on its own, but you could spend a few days to see it all,and then head onto another locale.

The other thing is a recommendation.  If you are a lover of good/bad TV like me, go rent yourself the Charlie's Angels series reboot from a year or so ago...the one with Jeter's ex Minka Kelly.  It only lasted 4 episodes on TV in the States, but they made 8 eps and just showed them in a marathon here.  Such great bad dialogue/wardrobe/plots...you name it, it had it all/nothing.  When you hear of a storm coming through, grab it and snuggle up in front of a fire with the Angels. 

Paul had his first baseball tournament this past weekend.  His team is made up of middle and high school age kids, but there aren't many of those teams in town, so this tournament was open to all ages of recreational caliber teams.  They had two games, and while there was a sprinkling of similar aged kids on the opposing teams, they were primarily made up of older guys.  As the second team was waiting to play his squad, saw some of their players having some pre-game smokes.  This guy was one of the pitchers they faced.

Was a decent junkballler, but they tagged him for a couple runs.  Paul's team were all kids in the field, bout their coaches pitched for them and they were both on fire.  Our team won both games by 4-0 and 4-1 scores.  Paul said he was a little freaked seeing how old the opponents were before the first game, but once it got going, he and the team settled in confidently.  He went 3-5 with a walk and RBI and played solid 3B.  They played with those goofy rubber balls, which takes some getting use to, but all in all, was a fun time and they are ranked #1 going into next weeks Championship round.  Some snaps...the field is along the river with a very lovely background.

 

So nice to watch baseball in nice weather after years of sitting in crappy cold Seattle spring temps...



 

I think that one of the main reasons Paul likes baseball is that it is 5% action, and 95% BS time.  With him being unable to flip shit to the Mandarin speakers, he pretty much whistles his way through the game.

The kid has a nice stroke (credit to Frank Meirer of Seattle Select baseball for that).



 

My favorite part of Chinese baseball is the post game group tipping of the cap to the other team...very positive mojo and a thing that should be adopted in US baseball.

I had to run before the end of the second game to take Carolyn to her soccer game.  She is on a U-10 club team...she has speed galore but needs to work on her aggression.  We have some time to work on that, but for now, it's all about the exercise and having fun...and fashion.  Tell me she doesn't look good in red?

She is #4...which is the unluckiest number in Chinese.  The sound saying "four" in Chinese is very close to the word for death, so is treated much like the #13 in English.  Many buildings do not have a fourth floor for instance.  We are embracing it on the field of play...who wants death bearing down on them?

November 3, 2012

Caught my first rock and roll show here on Thursday...finally.  A triple bill of And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Thurston Moore and Dinosaur Jr.  I wont bore you with an extended review, but Dinosaur Jr. was solid and super loud (as always), Thurston's new post Sonic Youth band was a big disappointment, and I absolutely loved AYWKUBTTOD.  Had always avoided them for some reason, probably due to the dorky name, but they rocked it hard and would recommend them to anyone that enjoys some loud driving rock and roll. 

Am happy to report that seeing a show in Taipei was much like the experience one would find in the States.  The sound was excellent (they make excellent high-end speakers here), very crisp and clear sound at high volume...I could feel the sound in my colon during Dino Jr.  A couple of things that were better is that I could see over the heads of the crowd better.  I wouldn't say the Taiwanese are short, their nutrition has been good far too long to be N. Koreanesque, but they aren't farm raised/steroid fed from birth sized like you get in the States, so I could be a few rows back and have a relatively unobstructed view.  They also don't get totally shit-faced and make an ass out of themselves.  There is some boozing for sure, but the only douche bags that I saw getting loaded and making a display of themselves were a couple of Westerners (embarrassingly enough).  There was a decent moshpit going at times...as the bands were from the U.S., there was a liberal sprinkling off Westerners in the club, and they were leading the way in the pit, so you could compare the dance stylings of the two cultures easily.  The Westerners had a much more bruising style (think rugby where you beat the crap out of each other and then hug it out after), while the TW's were more dancey/pushy/laughing.  Personally, I like to go to a show and not get my head pounded in (plus the knees can't take the abuse), so give the nod to the Asian mosh pit.  I think the lower contact in the pit can be attributed to the fact that everyone in it wears big thick glasses, and you wouldn't hit a kid with glasses.  

One minor complaint, and it wouldn't be a diary entry without at least one, was the high volume of backpacks.  I've noticed that they are not uptight about security here.  Living for the last 10 years in post 9/11 America, there is a huge difference in the feel of security in a country that has not been a target of terrorism.  For instance, when going to a baseball game or a show, no one looks in your bag and you can bring in whatever you want and ingest it freely.  Saw a bunch of people loading up with tall boy beers at the 7-11 pre-show and drinking them inside.  The downside of that is that 1 in 4 people had this big sack on their back so you're constantly getting jostled by people's swinging backpacks.  I understand that with a scooter culture, you have to carry your gear on your back and can't just leave it in the scooter.  Really, it was really a minor inconvenience that can be navigated easily enough and making (vodka infused) lemonade out of lemons, you know I'm gonna be packing my booze in next time.  So overall, a very positive and fun experience and am excited to start checking out some local stuff. 

Briefly, Betty and I went to Paul's 8th grade parent-teacher conference yesterday.  All the teacher's had a table and you would get 10 minutes with each (if needed).  Like everything at this school, the event was extremely well organized and we were able to meet all of his teachers without waiting more than 10 minutes for any of them.  After 8+ years of schooling, we've grown used to the reaction we get when meeting his teachers for the first time...goes something like this;

Us: "Hello, we're Paul's parents."
Teacher: "Ohhhhhh...so you're Paul's parents."

Once they get over the disdain of meeting the Demon seeds parents, we are then told about how "spirited" (at best) or disruptive he is in their class, so Betty and I are always ready for the worst. 

So every teacher we met yesterday gave us the same, "ohh, you're Paul's parents" line, to which we instinctively gave each other a knowing glance, but then they (all) launched into how much the loved having him in class.  He has earned really good grades in quarter 1, and other than the need for him to slow down, talk about his work effort was positive.  What surprised us was that they all loved his "spirit" in class.  Engaged, leader, fun, actively participant..how can things that were always disruptive before seem to be able to be channeled into positive attributes over a summer?  The (very cute) drama teacher mentioned three times as to how Paul would stick his head in her door between periods to say hello and would get mad at her if she didn't respond in kind back to him (a bit stalky sounding, but way to go boy).  His History/Homeroom teacher is an organizer of the Model UN team and appreciates his "gift of gab" so much that she recruited him onto their team that will travel to Malaysia in the Spring to compete with other schools.  The science teacher was the funniest of all when he leaned over the table and said in a whisper that, "this school probably has as high a concentration of nerds as any in the world, so a kid with Paul's social skills and intellect would do really well.".  WTF!!??  All hail the King of the Nerds.  Obviously, Betty and I were out of our minds ecstatic, and there is too much of a history of bad parent-teacher conferences to completely believe what we heard, but have been trying to understand the night/day change.  Could it be that Asian kids are so ingrained in study and not to express themselves openly, that all the teachers are appreciative of a kid that will offer up opinions and to not be afraid to embarrass himself in public?  Is it that teacher's in America are frustrated that they have a classroom full of kids that are "full of personality"?  Is it a commentary on the difference between private and public education, where a teacher is recruited and their employment is judged (and renewed) based on merit?  Or is it something else...?  Whatever it is, the change in this students effort and desire is palpable and pray that it is something he can build upon. 

November 1, 2012

Went back to Chinese class yesterday and told the teacher about my new Chinese name...PinPin.  She said that it was more of a feminine sounding name or like the way you would talk to a child,  In Chinese, they will say a word twice for baby talk (nai is milk so they say nai nai to kids)...much like we will add an "e" to a word (nice doggy) in English baby talk.  She said I should ask my family for a Chinese name, which I informed her they already had (Pon su, which translates as fat ass).  She laughed but confirmed the notion that it is very common for families to give mean nicknames to each other.  And you can only give a nasty nickname to a younger relative...not to an older one.  The teacher's nickname for her younger sister translated into "the ugly one".  One of the ladies in the class said that sucked cause she was the youngest child, but the teacher said, "that's OK...you can give your brother or sisters children an endearingly mean nickname".  I know that their calling me Fat Ass is supposed to be endearing, so I asked her about the name they call my wife's sister's husband, who happens to be Israeli.  They call him Yo Tai Gue...the Jewish Ghost.  Teacher didn't think that was so nice...my classmates were pretty much horrified. 

The teacher said I should try this website to give myself a Chinese name. You put in your name, birth date, and a defining characteristic. My name came up as Yan Zhi Han . For fun, I loaded my name in the Gangsta name generator and it came back as Fat Ugly Pud. When even the computer is mocking you, it's time to lose some weight.

We learned how to say numbers yesterday.  The number seven is pronounced "chee" and the teacher said that you are supposed to say that when you want someone to smile for a picture.  I mentioned that our family says "Whiskey" instead of Chee or Cheese.  That was met with another look of disbelief. 

An interesting note about numbers...in Chinese, the number 13 is said "1 ten + 3", 62 is "6 ten + 2" and so on.  The teacher said there was a study done and they found that the Chinese were better at math at earlier ages as the language made learning how to count easier.  With the stereotype that the Chinese are good at math, it kinda makes sense.  I said that is good to know so I can tell it to the Chinese side of our family, who always says their superiority in mathematics was due to a higher intellect.  A classmate chimed in that she wasn't surprised they would say that since they sound like alcoholic racists. 

Had an interesting back and forth with my (9 year-old) daughter this morning...they have swimming class this week and she was wearing her swim suit underneath her t-shirt.  She said that the swim top felt like a training bra.  She is definitely not ready for that yet, but said that she sees some of her friends starting to wear them.  I asked her what a training bra was training them to do?  She took a beat and then gave me one of her more disgusted looks.  Betty said it was to train them to stay in the right place...if you don't wear a training bra, will you end up looking like this?.




 That's the hot new fashion trend in Japan...bagel forehead saline injections.  I do not make this stuff up.

They have lots of holiday's here...last week was Taiwan Restoration Day, commemorating the return of Taiwan to China from Japan after WWII.  Japan had controlled Taiwan for the previous 55 years after the First Sino-Japanese War.  Yesterday was Chiang Kai-shek's b-day (Happy 126).  The ones I am still a bit confused over are the days when the Taoist/Buddhists burn the money.  Have detailed the practice of having a burning trash can outside of homes and shops where they burn money to appease the spirits, but on certain days, everyone starts lighting these things up and the whole city has a smell of burning paper.  Have not been able to figure out when and why these periodically happen, but am working on my understanding.  I think it has to do with the lunar cycle.  Another thing they do on these days is put out food offerings.  These are usually on a small card table in front of their stores and have incense and fresh fruit, and on almost every table, a bag of Doritos (Nacho Cheese or Taco flavor).  I love 'em too, but still cannot wrap my mind around why the spirits are so into them.  Much like Kwai Chang Caine, Grasshopper has a lot to learn..