December 17th, 2017

Hey there,

Last post of the year as we are heading out of town for the Christmas break...meeting up with the Boy in Portugal and Spain for a couple weeks.  Will have much to say when we get back I'm sure.

Got back from SF a couple days ago after from seeing my mom.  To catch you up, she fell and busted up her shoulder, which needed a replacement.  My sister had a 10 day vacation planned so I came over to be around.  Here are before and after photos of said left shoulder.

Titanium baby...I was the only person who could not only remember both the character and actor's name from the Bionic Woman (Jamie Sommers/Lindsay Wagner) but that she was a former tennis pro/current school teacher at the time of her horrific parachute accident.

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Mom is a fall risk so have had to have people stationed with her 24 hours, so I felt it was OK to sneak out a couple of times for some Gomez essential activities.  The first thing I did after booking the flight, my eyes went straight to the sports and music calendars.  Saw that the Raiders were home to the NY Giants one of the Sundays and reached out to my LA buddy that travels up a couple times a year to see them and by coincidence, was gonna be there for this game.

My Raider fandom started on January 9th, 1977.  11 year old me had been a Rams follower till that point and it felt like every year they would lose in the playoffs to the Vikings, led by a man named Fran, in increasingly devastating fashion.  Super Bowl XI (yes, the Super Bowl and I are the same age), was down the street at the Rose Bowl that year and pitted the Minnesota Frans, who defeated "my" Rams in the playoffs a week earlier,  against this team from Oakland.  The Silver and Black laid a smackdown on them of epic proportions and have never looked back.  The Autumn Wind.

The Autumn Wind is a pirate
Blustering in from sea,
With a rollicking song, he sweeps along,
Swaggering boisterously.
His face is weather beaten.
He wears a hooded sash,
With a silver hat about his head,
And a bristling black mustache.

He growls as he storms the country,
A villain big and bold.
And the trees all shake and quiver and quake,
As he robs them of their gold.

The Autumn Wind is a Raider,
Pillaging just for fun.
He'll knock you 'round and upside down,
And laugh when he's conquered and won.

While I prefer to watch my NFL on TV, had seen the Silver and Black many times live both in LA,  where they lived from '82 to '94, and whenever they came up to play the Seahawks, but had never been to a game in The Black Hole of Oakland.  With their departure to Vegas in a year or three, thought that I needed to make this pilgrimage.

Met up with my LA buddy a few hours before game time as I wanted to soak in as much of the scene as possible.  I am wearing the #25 of Hall of Famer  Fred Biletnikoff, who was my boyhood idol.  Not fast but hands like glue, which he also used on his hands.    Post football, he has dedicated his life to support battered women after the brutal murder of his daughter.  One of my heroes.  My buddy forgot his Raider gear and had to borrow his #7 jersey from his sister.  

The Raiders fans have a reputation as being violent at best and some folks were concerned about my safety.  My friends knew a guy that travels up every homegame and tailgates in the parking lot and after 20 minutes searching through the carnival like atmosphere, we found his set-up.

The Dude was a sweetheart and brewed us all up as good a cheesesteak sandwich as I've ever had.

Melty provolone.....arrrrgh.  We hung out for an hour or so and took the opportunity to walk around the aisles of likeminded Raider lovers.  

I've been to a few tailgates in my day and this was just like all the others in spirit.  Concerns of any violence melted away instantly as one could feel the love coming from all of the fans.  Even for the few but proud Giant fans walking around in their jerseys were not threatened physically, but as they walked down the aisles, they were greeted with a chorus of well intentioned chants of RAIDERS.  The atmosphere was like all other great tailgates I have been with he exception of the physical appearance of the fans.  All the other events I've been have felt like wine and cheese affairs, but this crowd looked like they all had received a one day furlough from San Quentin.  Beauty can be found anywhere if you look at it right.

As we walked into the stadium, my buddy recited the above poem and the hair on my neck stood up.  I lost track of my crew for a while so found a spot and soaked in the pre-game rituals from the teams.  Had never seen a full pre-game warm-up and was impressed with the choreography.  Everyone had a set of drills that came together like a grand theatre production. 

I found a single seat on line a couple rows back from my buddies crew in the end zone that is the void called the Black Hole.  All the cast of characters you see on TV were there.

I sat with my friends for a while and when their row got filled, went back to sit in my seat.  The lady that sold me the ticket was next to me and I fell in love instantly.  She was totally hammered by kickoff and threw out a steady stream of "Fuck Yous" throughout the action.  As she was 5 feet tall at best, and that everyone stands the entire game, she couldn't see any of the action on the field, but that didn't stop her from screaming F-U at every play.  Then, she'd turn her head to look at what happened on the big screen and yell F-U some more regardless of whether it was a good play or not for the Raiders.  I was kind of afraid of her and didn't want to agitate her so snuck a photo when she climbed on to her chair.

I did ask what she did for a living and of course she said "Human Resources". 

The game was notable as the one where they sat Eli Manning, breaking his consecutive game starting streak at 220 games, and for Marshawn Lynch's first 100 yard game as a Raider.

Raider-etes and a Frisbee dog catching show at halftime provided more entertainment.

Getting to a game here has been a dream since 1/9/77 and a 24-17 victory by the Silver and Black made the day complete and one I'll never forget.

Second foray out in the city was to see one of my favorites musicians...Jonathan Richman.  If I was there without having mom responsibilities, there were 6 shows I would have liked to have seen, but Jonathan is unlike any other and he always delivers.  Convinced a college buddy to come out for this one.

I wish I could tell you all the stories with this guy as he is one of a kind, but  there aren't many I should share  as they are bad examples for the youth of today.  I can say that he is the guy that gave me both my Gomez and Yogi nicknames.  

We are meeting up in the city pre-show for drinks and end up kitty corner on a major intersection talking to each other on the phone.  In a scenario that could only happen in San Francisco, he says that he is on the other side of  where the hazmat team is pressure washing the sidewalk where some homeless guy  had taken a dump and he won't walk through to meet me.  We end up making a loop around the Safeway and end up 10 feet from where we started.   Like the old saying goes about San Francisco, I think by Mark Twain...the city where you walk a mile uphill to watch a bum shit in the bushes.

After a funny dinner of catching up, and there was a lot to catch up on which again is unable to be shared,  we walked to the Swedish American Hall for the show.  Great old timey small venue with deep Nordic wood.  Jonathan Richman always delivers...the songs he played this night were all about love, the sun, dancing and dancing in the sun while in love.  A true original, he always makes me smile and think of the world as a beautiful place.  

He usually plays with just his trusty drummer sidekick, but this night, he had a female sitar player and a stand-up accordion dude.  The sitar player sat on the ground and had that sallow complexion of an unhappy vegan.  The accordionist was none other than Jerry Harrison, who was in Jonathan's first band The Modern Lovers but is better known as being in the Talking Heads.  They played 4 songs from an album he said they were working on together  in Oakland and then left the stage.  As the set-up at the venue had no backstage, they stopped the concert for 5 minutes and moved out the sitar/accordion through the crowd, which allowed a group of 8 late teen/early 20's girls  to weasel their way up the front.  Now I have never been a fan of this arm lock/push to the front maneuver, but had to respect that they were there at all since Jonathan started playing music in the '70's. One of the girls, who were deemed Josie and the Pussycats, was taking videos and the large black person next to me shamed them to stop.  Is that a new thing or is it just in PC SF?  I felt intimidated so only took one picture to document the night.

 

Other than those two outings, spent the rest of the time hanging at mom's place.  Last year at this same time, she had brain surgery to remove blood from her skull after a fall and her post-op was spent in a skilled nursing place that is attached to her retirement home, and she has to spend the recovery from this shoulder replacement surgery at the same place.  My sister has been on point throughout this ordeal and learned from last year that we can't be there all the time and since she is a fall risk with periods of delirium, we needed to hire caregivers to be in her room 24-7 to make sure she doesn't get up by herself.  Mom was in good spirits most of the time which has to be hard when you have to have someone in the room with you every moment of the day.  And night...creepy to have someone sitting there watching you while you sleep.  

Most of the caregivers and all of the nurses at the facility are Filipinas. By the way, why do they spell the name of the country the Philippines with a 'PH', but the people from there Filipinos with a "F' and only one 'p'?  The craft of caregiving is beguiling to me.  These ladies have to take my mom, all 90 years of her, to the bathroom, give her a shower, etc.  I wouldn't envy anyone giving a 51 year old me a shower and don't think there is enough money on the planet for someone to willingly wipe my ass, but these ladies do it with a smile on their face and still provide dignity to their patient.  They do these things with supreme efficiency and tenderness.  Have read how this industry projects to have has the most need for workers in the future.  Simply fascinated by how their culture has adopted this field as their countries greatest export.  

The days spent hanging with mom were mostly the same.  In between her physical/occupational therapy appointments, we had appointment TV watching.   Mom typically has Fox News on at her place but we all felt it better to not have that on in mixed company.  Instead, in the morning, it was a two hour rock block of Let's Make a Deal b/w The Price Is Right.  I was raised by TV with game shows as my nanny and could watch them all day long.  Midday TV was spent with a myriad of Judge shows.  Judy is still going strong and even though she is an American University alum, she really is a c***.  My personal favorite was Judge Mathis...one case involved a mom suing her son for a loan he didn't repay.  Trailer homes and crack addiction were strong in this family, but instead of berating the contesting parties a la Judy, Mathis broke down the cycle of addiction and celebrated their attempts at being clean and sober and was uplifting.  The evening found us with a couple hours of Family Feud to choose from across several channels.  We'd play along with the game and was a good diversion from the exercises and bowel movement talk.  One question was, "we asked 100 women to name something that they tell their husbands they are good at, even when they're not."  The lady buzzed in and said "sex".  The board flipped over as that being the number one answer, but instead of "sex", they called it "tickling her tulip".  Genius.

We didn't just watch TV...I taught mom and her daytime caregiver how to play gin rummy.  That not a single sole I encountered on the trip knew how to play was personally astonishing as I thought it was as ubiquitous as solitaire.  They learned quickly and the games immediately became super competitive while having the added benefit of helping with her working on the hand control of her bad wing.  We'd try to go outside every day and sit in the sun for 30-45 minutes for some vitamin D and watch the world go by. 

Would also have to set aside some time to do range of motion and strengthening exercises that were given to us by the therapists.  Before we started those, we'd have to warm up the arm, which entailed taking off of her sling.  When one gets a new shoulder, it has to remain motionless for at least a month so the wound can heal first, so she was strapped into this thing 24 hours a day.  After three weeks, she was allowed to take it off to eat and read. 

Side note...once they said she could read, we brought her in the SF Chronicle and one of the headlines was how the new Niner quarterback won his first game.  She asked me who is this Garropalo, so I pulled up a picture of him on the iPad.  She was physically moved by how pretty he is. 

She can't take off the sling by herself so we had to learn how to do it without moving her shoulder.   Doing that the first time was by far the most stressful part of my caregiving career.  The thought of damaging the shoulder and causing her pain was mortifying.  After taking it off, we were told to give her a 5-10 minute "retrograde" massage where you pull on her fingers toward the elbow like a glove, and then work down through the wrist to the elbow in an effort to stimulate blood movement.  It was weird to do that to mom and am not relating this to show that I am a good son, but to show admiration to the people that do this, and far more personal things for other people.  Not saying that I am a good or bad guy, but it is moments like those when you see a pathway to strive to be a better person.

Take Bret for instance.  Bret is the activities coordinator for the facility and they have stuff going all day long.  There would always be an hour or two daily where they would bring in a musician to play music.  It was heavy on Christmas carols and none of us really enjoyed doing that.  What we did sample was going to the bingo and blackjack hours that Bret led.  The patients are a mixed bag...some of them are with it and others are totally out of it, so Bret has to have a conversation with himself as he is not going to have a lot of interaction.  The stream of consciousness coming out of this guy was something to behold as he would talk for an hour straight peppering his deals/bingo calls with arcane movie references.  At bingo, he started out with a 10 minute soliloquy on Lucille Ball, talking about her relationship with Desi Arnaz, how she discovered Carol Burnett, etc. and would have gone on for the full hour if it weren't for my mom who finally interrupted him with "are we gonna play bingo or what?"  After the first  session with him, I thought he was a recovering crack addict who couldn't shake his mania, but realized that the guy is not only a showman of the highest order, but a fucking hero.

They try hard with the food choices at the place, but the meals tend to be bland, and by the time they make it to the rooms, are cold half the time.  Plus, I gotta eat too, so on a few of the evenings I made a take out run for us.  We are usually in Palo Alto in the summer when school is out and I bitch about the traffic every year, but being there when school is in session and navigating around to get food at rush hour is a special kind of hell.  It was during one of these torture sessions that I realized that the Stanford ethos has peaked.  Stanford had surpassed the Ivies as the center of knowledge and the preferred destination of the best and brightest, but as with any such pinnacle throughout history, they get a little too clever for their own good.  In an effort to make the streets as "safe" as possible they have effectively choked movement to death.  The traffic signals are timed so you have to stop at every single one for the longest period of time possible.  The level of mathematics that had to go into making that possible is impressive, but there is a fine line between clever and stupid.  Stanford isn't going away, but they are on the ledge.

Overall, I really enjoyed being able to spend quality time with my mom.  It is sad to be so far away and can imagine it would be a lot different if we were living in the same town.  The nurses and such were all saying what a nice son I was, but it is easy to come in for a week and be the good guy.  Like a deadbeat dad that swoops in with presents twice a year but doesn't have to deal with all the hard stuff.  For 90, she is in great shape and is tremendously upbeat most of the time.  She has her moments of frustration of course.  One of the caregivers came by one night and she said that she was in the hospital the night she came out of surgery and we laughed as she related how mom was so agitated that night that she scratched and kicked one of the nurses on duty.  She had no recollection of that fortunately.  Other than being weak, her greatest struggle is with memory...particularly short term.  One afternoon, she was talking about her German grandfather in such detail that it felt like he was in the room with us, but could not remember what she had for breakfast.  

Only other thing of note that happened was that I tweaked my back again.  Was in her room sitting on the edge of her bed and the phone rang.  I swiveled on the mattress to go tot he other side to answer it and there it went.  Shit.  Hurt like the first day I originally messed it up and was invalidated for days.  Had to have mom help put my socks on with her one good arm.  Went to a doctor there and they hooked me up with the prednisone and am feeling close to "normal" now.  We keep telling mom that for her to be able to get out of this nursing place, the first step is being able to wipe her own butt and as she is putting on my socks, she asks me if I can wipe my own ass.  Had to laugh at that and told her that I need my own team of Filipinas.

Okey dokey...before I go, here are a couple of jokes I heard last week.

What do Roy Moore and the weather have in common?  They're both gonna dip into the teens tonight.  

I know that one is outdated, but this one should be good to tell for a few more months (hopefully less).

How does Donald Trump know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?  He's never had a garbanzo bean on his chest before.

 

November 30th, 2017

A couple of quick updates from past episodes.

Am still receiving the periodic anonymous comments from the Jordanian pest control and auto repair places , but did get one from someone who must actually read this.  The comment?..."You are fucked up".  I couldn't agree more.

Mentioned that the new business going up next door was not a Bu-shi-ban, but another convenience store.  It was supposed to open November 30th, but these guys have it down and it debuted a week early.  I said there were 5 of these within a 1 block radius of our apartment, but forgot the Family Mart on the other side of the park, so it is now 6 Family Marts/7E's.  So convenient.

A new wave of shops have sprung up in the neighborhood within the last couple of weeks.

These are tiny "stores" that are loaded with one kind of claw grabbing arcade games.  Apparently, the Japanese are really into it, but these have been colossal rip offs since the day they were invented and have yet to see a single person inside.  It is hard to imagine who thinks this is a good idea.

What I wish people would spend their brain power on is to develop a pair of the surf shoes that don't smell like a thousand smelly feet after one wearing.

Took the above to the Philippines cause the water has a bunch of rocks and coral close to shore, and wore them on the first day.  The next morning, after letting them dry outside overnight, we came back from breakfast and the girls smelled them immediately.  It was my foot smell times 20...nasty nasty nasty.  Had to take them to the garbage can near the lobby it was so bad.  There absolutely has to be a better way.

Our T-giving trip was relaxing.  The place we stayed paled in comparison to the one we stayed last time nearby, but they tried hard and the girls both caught up on their sleep.  No funny stuff, but will update the reasons why Taiwan's airport is rated one of the best.  Once through security, there are many of the filtered water machines where you can refill your bottles for free, and those have settings for cold, room temp and warm water (which the locals prefer).  In addition, they have vending machines that sell bottles of water for NT$20, which is 60 cents US.  That you pay at least US$4 for the same sized bottle of Dasani (or $5 for the square Figi kind) at the effin' Hudson Bay is an absolute crime.

Have been reading this interesting book called They Thought They Were Free and finished it off on this trip.  Written in 1955, it is an account by the writer of his interactions with 10 regular Germans who were not in the army, but how they dealt with the rise of the National Socialists and the ways they justified it in their minds and lives.  Came to it from some show that said it had parallels with the way we are looking at the political dialogue and processes today.  While there were some, at least in the US, it feels like we have enough people to stand up to this xenophobic shit, but will admit that some parts did hit home, especially the racial justification parts.  Anyhoo, mention this not to get you to read it (although if history is your bag, you'll dig it), or to prove that I actually read (cause I don't read nearly as much as I should), but that this was an interesting book to travel with from a sociological perspective.

Having that giant swastika on the cover caused everyone that walked by at the pool or in the waiting lounge to look at the book, then look at my face with expressions of concern.  I'd want to yell that it was a book against the Nazi's, but then got fascinated by the universal expressions of dread.  No guys in white polos and khakis came up to me to talk about the good old days thankfully, and this was in Asia where their "nationalism" is as fierce but a tad more openly benign.

Moving on.  Something I do recommend that you watch, and only takes 3 and a half minutes is the below YouTube video discussing the history of chopsticks and why they are different in Japan, Korea and China.  If you are reluctant to click on links in this space, search for Chopsticks Quartzy on YouTube.

Betty, who would never say she "knows it all", but absolutely knows what she knows thought she knew all the reasons why they are so different from culture to culture, and she even learned a thing or two.  If you love food, you are going to look at chopsticks differently afterwards.  I won't go into all of it cause you need to see it, but one thing totally floored me.  The Chinese didn't share their food family style until the 10th century and only then after tables and chairs were introduced in Asia from the West.  Tables and chairs?  One of our biggest past times is discussing (debating) who has contributed more to civilization.  I would never admit this, but I don't think the west is superior per se and that invention is the mother of necessity and am a adherent to the theory put out by The Needham Question, but c'mon...tables and chairs?  Probably also explains the squat pot.

Acupuncture...mentioned that I tried it for the first time a couple weeks ago and have been several times since.  Still not sure how I feel about it, meaning is it voodoo or something for everyone, but let me relate the experience so far for posterity.

As background, I know my knees are shot and have been told that acupuncture can't really help the damage that is going on there, but my spine is now totally wrecked and people said to give this a try.  The guy that was recommended a couple of times happens to be across the street, and takes the Taiwanese National Health Insurance so had no excuse.  Would have liked to go with Betty for translating purposes, but this is busy travel season and didn't want to put it off any longer.  I went in and while the staff speaks no English, got through the admittance process OK and met with the doctor who does speak English well  I told him my tale of woe, the abbreviated version but did give him the CD images from this summers MRI, which he didn't look at for  this visit.  He took my pulse for no more than 5 seconds, looked at my tongue and felt my back for again, no more than 5 seconds.  Told me that my heart beat was irregular and felt satisfied to start the therapy.

After a couple of minute wait, was taken into the acupuncture room, which is all tiled off and reminds of a not really dirty, but not super clean YMCA bathroom without the urinals.  Dingy is a word I would use for it.   There are 6 stools and they have been filled every time I've been.  You sit on the stool and they point this 18th century alchemy looking contraption that blows steam onto your problem area.

The doctor comes in and for me, I get two pokes on the outside of each leg, one just below the knee and one at the ankle.  My other mates in the stick room get them all over, arms, legs, face.  And 9 out of 10 of the patients there are older than I, so unclear if the kids don't need treatment or if this is for the older set.

Not much to look at in there, and don't want to be seen taking too many snaps cause peoples (yours truly included) wrinkly body parts are exposed.  There are some notices about hours and things on the wall, and to help me pass the time, I watched a mosquito dance around the room ( a great environment for them for sure)  Below is all of the medical equipment needed.  A bunch of sticks and cotton balls for sterilization.

You sit with the needles and hot steam for 15 minutes and that is it.  After, I get 15 minutes of that electric stimulation device on my spine, and last time, he put me on the inversion therapy table for 10 minutes.  I love that thing and it made me feel better immediately.  Going back this afternoon and hope there is more of that in the plan.  The doctor did look at my MRI images and his only comment about them was that "your 4 and 5 (vertebrae)?" and then makes the sound of something breaking while making the motion of an Indian burn.  Great.  And is Indian burn not said anymore?

It is certainly not the experience you see in the movies or TV, with a person stuck with a hundred needles all over.  Putting in the needles feels like a light pinch, and then you don't notice them anymore.  Each visit costs NT$100, which is like US$3.25, so why not play it through.  Betty was interested and I took her after work the other day (they stay open several nights till 9pm, which is another nice feature.)  He did the same 30 second analysis of her, said she had poor circulation and then into the therapy she went.  She even got a couple needles in her head so must be way more messed up than I. She walked away in love with it.   Am sure to have more to say on this subject, just needed to put down the details so far.

Couple more things before signing off...Betty forwarded this link that I loved.  Have found it weird that I get a lot of things in my feeds about introversion and am pretty sure that I am on that spectrum.  The author posits in this essay that the shitty stuff he does, like being late, keeping money in a wallet he found on the street, is justified cause he is an introvert.  Funny and too true.

Caught some live music in town last week...a band called Pond who are from Australia and are the guts of the band Tame Impala.  Like a couple of their things and would never go see them in the States, but in the wasteland that is alternative music here, you gotta take what you can get.  I went, it was OK, and left after they played the song I liked.

Not much more to say other than I saw some bad male behavior.  The crowd at these shows is about 90% Taiwanese/10%Westerners and there were a couple of local looking girls in front of me.  When the band started up, a white guy (polo shirt and beard...not the hipster kind, more of the white supremacist type) starts to dance next to them.  They seem kinda game and do a light slam dance which all seemed harmless, but the guy wouldn't let it go.   He moves around, tries to start grinding with them, looking at them with a total creepy stare, that kind of crap.  Am watching this and the girls are getting visibly more uncomfortable when the guy gets up close to one and grabs both her hands and continues with his effed up gaze move.  Gross.  And I hate this stuff cause now we have to do something about it and it is distracting from the music.  I ask the girls if they know this guy while giving him the stink eye  and they don't speak English, but the next second, a local dude who must have been watching this go down too walks in front of the girls and stands between them and the creep.  He got the message and disappeared.

With this wave of dudes being outed as predators, sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming (today was Today's Matt Lauer's turn) and have heard some fatigue by certain pundits.  Must say that I feel it is going too far at times too, but know this is a seminal moment in history when all dudes are getting the word that this shit is over.  Fucking scum and seeing this prick at the show made me want to punch him right there.  I don't preach too much to the kids, but one of the few non-negotiable things that I pounded into the Boys head from the age that he started to notice girls was to not only respect women, but look out for their welfare when they are in vulnerable spots, especially in the lead up to being on his own at school.  I pray that I was convincing.

Alrighty...leave in a few hours for San Francisco.  Mom had her shoulder replacement and sister is going on vacation, so I get to hang for 10 days or so.  While I do have a couple of fun things planned, not looking forward to it as she doesn't seem to be acting well.  Not that you can blame her, but she has been getting delirious, sometimes aggressively so, and seems to be in the pity spiral that does not go over well with anyone, especially yours truly.  Gonna take all of my patience to deal for sure and have to keep reminding myself that she is 90 and that she has never been in a vulnerable state, that the frustration level is off the charts for her.  I may be too busy to post next week, or may have all the time in the world.  Will see you when I see you

November 17th, 2017

This space may be erratic in its postings for the next few weeks.  Heading out of town for T-giving weekend, so possibly nothing next week.  The annual Christmas break extravaganza is also almost booked (gonna be good) and just around the corner.  And another trip for me just popped up too...

Had this weird premonition the other day that something was up with my mom.  Nothing specific, just a feeling.  Don't get them a lot and they usually turn out to be nothing, but not more than 12 hours later I get a message that she fell and busted up her shoulder.  Thankfully, she didn't hit her head again, but at this point, she needs reconstructive or replacement surgery.  The initial doctor seemed reluctant to do such an intensive surgery on a 90 year old but just heard they found one that can perform it on Monday.  Ugh.  My sister has a vacation planned so will be visiting the States for a few days early December to be around her.  As it isn't her brain this time, should have a couple of moments to sneak away, so if you are in the Bay area then, drop me a line. More to come.

Quick update on local business activity.  The construction on the corner outside our place is not a new bu-shi-ban, but rather the other type of place that never goes out of business.  A new 7-11.  That means within a 1 block radius and that we can see from our apartment, we have 5 Family Mart/7-11's.  It is quite amazing how much this culture relies on these things.

Quick recommendation.  As with the personal discovery of arancini as detailed last time, found another slice of heaven on that southern Italy trip that has changed how I eat.

Hot sauce for pasta!  I picked up a bottle in Palermo and kinda forgot about it, but started adding a few drips to ziti and am now completely hooked.  Simply olive oil infused with red pepper, for a spice junkie, it is a revelation.  It doesn't mask, but rather enhances the flavor of the saucy goodness.  My initial bottle ran out and found a few different ones on Amazon and grabbed the above bottle.  How have I missed this, why don't more restaurants offer it or more recipes don't call for it as an ingredient?

Not gonna rant (too much) on the state of politics cause it simply too heinous, but did hear a funny/true analogy of trickle down economics during a discussion on the "historic" tax plan they are trying to get into law that I had not heard before.  Called Horse and Sparrow" economics, if you feed the horse a ton of oats, there will be more shit for the sparrows to eat.  Chirp.

Quick tease...yesterday, finally went to the local acupuncture place.  Had never tried it but had always wanted to and with my body breaking down exponentially am looking for relief in any way.  Not sure how I felt about it and the program is to go 3 times weekly.  Plus he gave me some herbs and spices (all natural of course) to take three times daily.  It was a bit of a freak out show for yours truly as only the doctor speaks broken English, and the setting is unlike any type of medical facility a dazzling west coast urbanite like myself has ever been.  Will detail more once I have some more perspective.

One of my buddies said I should get to writing the book that I have been contemplating.  Have been unmotivated to do it cause no one reads books anymore, and the topics for something original that have been rolling around in my brain probably only interest me or have been done to death.  Recently, have thought about dissecting the crap in this space to see if there is something there that I could slap together for posterity.  Even came up with a name for it..."On".  Chapters would be titled "On Food" or "On Driving" and would be a philosophy/etiquette tome.  We'll see...may make it a NY resolution.

One of the chapters would definitely be "On Women" cause I know that I have discussed them plenty.  Other than to share specific travel experiences with folks going to where we went, I have never gone back and read any of the previous posts.  Never look back darling...it distracts from the now.  Am a bit apprehensive about things I have said about the opposite sex especially in light of all the inappropriate touching in the news.  I like to think that I would be on the right side of this topic cause have always loved the company of women more than dudes.  I also feel like I have been on the right side of the harassment thing, but have to admit that dudes are awful.  I don't want to say all, but have to say that all dudes are more than capable of it to some degree.  Most of them/us are evolved enough to keep it in check, but it is always there all the time.  When you get into a position of power, and mix it with some shit from the past and living in certain cultural pockets that makes it OK in the brain, then I guess touching a little girl or whipping it out in front of people seems like a thing to do.  Sick. I always believe the women when they come forward, cause the attacks and humiliation they get when they do have to be as close to as awful as the original incident.  But am not letting all the ladies off scot free either cause there are plenty of females (with obvious issues both cultural and mental) that are giving the perps (including the gawdamn President who a lot of you voted for) a pass on this shit.  I lost a female acquaintance a couple years ago cause we got into it on FB over the video a woman shot of her walking the streets and the many men that would cat call and even stalk her.  She got mad at me by saying that it is fine when men think you're pretty and you should feel flattered, and was even cool with it for her then under 18 year old girls.  Like I said, fucked up on both sides of the aisle.  This is quite a time in society when it seems to be hitting the fan and feels like it is a turning point.  I guess that we do have the Prez (both past and present) to thank for something.  As usual, Pat Benatar said it best...stop using Sex As A Weapon

By the way, getting of scot free has nothing to do with a guy named Scott nor the Scottish people.

If you get off scot free you avoid punishment for doing something that deserves punishment. For example, “Although the police caught him red-handed, the judge said there wasn’t enough evidence and he got off scot free”.

The word scot in this sense has nothing to do with Scotland or Scotsmen, however. Scot is believed to be a word of old Germanic origin that is related to the words shot and shoot. In medieval England the scot was a tax levied on the members of a village or town which all the inhabitants had to pay in proportion to the size of their property or the extent of their land. Some people avoided the scot, however, often because their houses were built in unfavourable places such as hills with no water or places prone to flooding. Such people were described as scot free and the term has now come to describe anyone who avoids a punishment or financial penalty that they would normally have to serve or pay.

Finally for this week, and in keeping with my pop psychology bent, and also in anticipation of the upcoming release of "On", an article popped up on my feed that discussed millennial therapy issues.

The article was about the 6 main topics millennials cite as being their problems according to a survey of therapists.  I am absolutely fascinated by this generation, mainly due to how they are going to lead us on in the age of technology that my generation thought we were gonna get when watching the Jetson's.  I also think that they get treated harshly by older generations for doing stupid shit cause you know what other generation did stupid shit when they were young?  All of them (at least back to the Boomers...records from previous generations are spotty at best). 

Anyhoo, I like to stuff my pipe, lean back in my leather chair and opine on all matters, but since this is such a serious topic, have enlisted  a true genius on all things body and soul to help me analyze the millennials accordingly. So curl up on the couch and let you, and me...and the Pat Benatar talk some things through.

I can't make a decision.  What if I make the wrong decision?

You will.  A lot.  And the odds are that you will make a few that'll screw your life up to some degree.  We all do.  Odds are you are going to make a few wrong decisions that you didn't think about at all, and those are the ones that can really do damage.  Getting in the car drunk is a biggie and bet you can think of many more along this track.  We are all on a scale between thinking too much or not at all, but inaction is unacceptable.  Don't just do your best, do the best of someone that you admire.  Regardless of the decision you make, Pat Benatar  has some advice...

Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

I have difficulty saying "no", especially to my parents.

You should have difficulty cause they are usually right.  Unless you get bad ones. I am a 70% nurture/30% nature guy and guess what, (barring adoption, gene splicing, etc.) they are the ones that both nurture and provide the "nature".  The worst is the little kids that get abused before they have any tools to realize what's what and am glad you are here talking about it.  There are some seriously fucked up things adults do to kids and those people need to be exposed and in a lot of cases, jailed.  I am sorry if that is you and that you need to talk to a professional.  Now.

I also think (really, I pray) that most parents try hard and also screw you up by trying hard, so for the most part, give them a break but don't let them off the hook either.  Pat...how say you?


                                 
Hell Is For Children

Will I ever make enough money to start a life with my partner?

No.  Like the saying goes, if you have to ask the price, then you can't afford it.  There are times when indulging when the price is high is well worth it.  And you can't make money without spending money.  I'd worry less about how much cash you got and who this "partner" person is.  And I cannot stress this one enough...take your time.  Pat feels that Payin' The Cost To Be The Boss is the way to go.

She might also say that We Live For Love but to always Treat Me Right.  She has a lot to offer on this topic.

I feel helpless about all that's going on in the world.

You are...doesn't mean you can't say something.  I know from the previous topic that you don't have money, but bet you could spend some time on the matters that you feel strongly about?  Instead of coming into my office next week, why don't you spend an hour at a shelter of some kind, or go make up some Blood and Soil posters.  Whatever you're into.  Pat feels strongly that "When you get to the bottom. you go back to the top of the slide"

Helter Skelter.

I feel like a fraud.

You are...stop it.  Either being or feeling like one.  Am not even sure I know what that means cause the definition of being a fraud I think you mean is "a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities."  So either you are a fraud and you suck (and by the way, everyone knows that about you and hates you for it, so you aren't really a fraud, just a dick), or you aren't a fraud and are wasting time.  What kind of time Pat? 

Precious Time

My anxiety is interfering with my life.

Mentioned at the end of summer that during a parent seminar during UVA orientation on the kids adaptation to life away from home, researchers have seen a huge change from kids in the past feeling stress to now feeling anxiety.  The obvious reason was that parents in the past used to push their kids to achieve, to the new parenting style of laying everything out for them so get anxious when it comes their turn to perform on their own.  As the youngest child in a family from the "pushing generation"  parents, but who were too old and tired to push too hard, am lucky that I don't noticeably feel an inordinate amount of stress or anxiety.  And I think there are some lessons for you in that.   First, what's done is done and you were wired for better or worse the way you are, but that you have identified it allows you to use it as one of your super powers.  Second, a very wise friend, who was also messed up by his psychology professor parents, once said to me as we were discussing child rearing, "a little angst is a good thing".  So when it is your turn to screw your kids up, remember to instill a little anxiety and a little stress and most importantly, let your kids find out what's what without you telling them all the answers is the way to go.

As for today and tomorrow, you have got to find the thing that makes you happy where you can go to...what is the clinical term?...mellow the fuck out.  I'll share a few of mine to give you some examples.  A little exercise is great.  Don't get all obsessive over it, but at least a little walk every day.  And you don't have to go into complete silence to meditate as it can take whatever form works for you.  My beloved podcasts accompany me on my daily ritual and they can range from mindless fun to serious topics.  I also like to straighten things, which literally and metaphorically helps me put things in order.  Those work for me, but here is one that I truly believe will work for anybody.  Write it down.  Doesn't need to be diatribes like this, just simple notes.  Things to do, people to call, what you did that day, feelings...whatever.  Just make it a personal ritual of some kind.

And of course, music.  It comes in so many sizes and colors that there are several that fit you.  Pat agrees wholeheartedly.

Anxiety (Get Nervous)

November 11th, 2017

A friend asked on Facebook for some podcast recommendations the other day.  I loved that cause I have many and also got to hear about some new ones.  As an early adopter of podcasts, the ubiquitous and variety of them is almost to the point that I am overwhelmed by having so many to listen to or check out.   A new one that I am liking and recommend highly is called Intelligence Matters.  The host is Michael Morrel who was in the CIA and gave the daily briefings to Obama and was the one who delivered the news of 9/11 to W.   His guests are all extremely well connected government officials and the conversations are enlightening.   Not just US politics either...the one that led me to it was with the former head of the Venezuelan gas giant Citgo before Chavez.  Policy wonk shit.

But the reason I am mentioning it today is to recommend this MP3 player.

It is by Transcend.  I don't put music on it, so can't attest to how it does with sound quality, but it is 8gb so holds a ton.  It is really tiny, so fits anywhere and the controls are simple to use.  Why I think it is superior to others is that it is really a USB, so can plug into any charger, and the interface with a computer makes loading/deleting so easy.  And that it is a USB, if you are ever in need of an emergency storage device, there you go.  It has saved my butt a couple of times on that front.   It also has a sound recorder, so if one is ever in a situation where you need to get a clandestine recording, while it may not be admissible in court, it may just provide enough to use as blackmail or prove your innocence.  Finally , it has an FM radio, and while that may not be a huge need these days, in the event of a natural disaster when all cell service is knocked out, it may provide just the right bit of info to save a life.

Thought about the value of that last benefit yesterday as we had a disaster preparedness talk at the monthly Coffee talk at the Center.  Have lived for the vast majority of my life in places where massive earthquakes are always in the back of everyones mind and information about what to do in the event of one are some of my earliest memories.  Knowing what to do during and after a disaster is ingrained in my DNA and pray that all that training flows out should one occur.  It is the tips to do before one happens in preparation is what I found most valuable yesterday.  I am putting together a family "Go" bag, that has our documents, money, and some other must haves.  Plus it is very Jason Bourne.   Also updating our communication protocol and where we should meet and such.  We had speakers in from the US trade office (which is effectively the embassy here in a country that has no official diplomatic relations) and they shared some info about being a US citizen abroad.  One that I am gong to start doing is to lodge when we are overseas.  You can go onto State.gov and input your name and passport number and what countries you will be in and when.  If something happens where you are, the US government will know you are there and it may help in extracting you should the shit hit the fan.

One more thing about the Transcend MP3 player is that they are a Taiwanese company.  Taiwan does some interesting design work as this CNN article will attest.   Clever folk.  They are still the shittiest drivers and will never be able to fully commit to them until they change that, but still.

Betty is a nut.  She travels more than you can imagine...just took her to the airport for a run to Jordan for instance.  The work trip before this one was a two week, 14 flight marathon to Peru and Mississippi.  In between those, she elected to make a personal visit to go see the Boy at UVA for the Parents Weekend festivities.  They took in a football game, for which they stayed only for a quarter as it was in a downpour.

 There was a dinner in the UNESCO designated building called the Rotunda that was designed by Jefferson.  It was a smallish affair where you were chosen by lottery.  She didn't get chosen, but worked the system, using the fact she traveled 12,000 miles for the event, and got her party in the building.  I asked if they were served in traditional Jeffersonian style...by black folk.  Was told that gag was too soon.

The other lady in the photos is the Boy's "other" mom.  My good friend from college Laurie, who has appeared in the space in many a story, she resides in DC and Boy-o lived with her a couple summers back while doing an internship.  They developed a nice rapport and is close enough to be considered family in my book.  Having her 2 hours away makes us feel better about being so far from him and she is truly his other mom.  At least I thought so.  I  am told that they were at brunch the final day  and the moms were offering to take him to a store to get him supplied with something he needed.  Target, Staples...the usual.  And then Laurie says, "the liquor store?", and he jumped on the offer and he ended up with a giant bottle of vodka for his dorm room.  A mom wouldn't do that.  She is truly the wicked Auntie.

I did hear through Betty that Boychik has completed the most important rite of passage for any self respecting UVA student.  During their time at the school, tradition dictates that one must run the length of The Lawn (400+ yards) and back naked.

At American, we didn't need any dumb ass tradition to run around naked.  

By all accounts, the little shit is doing too well.  Have told you about him getting around, but Betty learned he has made a "special friend" and even invited her out for brunch where they told a story of jumping into some Jefferson fountain in their skivvies.  Have I mentioned that I am totally jealous and envious?  What wasn't good was I asked him about the recent election.  Was on him about getting registered, especially cause Virginia is on the front lines of the political divide.  He did get set up in time, which was good, but he didn't vote.  He was lucky that things broke the right way this time, but I told him he was lucky and that I was pissed.  Like I said...little shit.

Allrighty...it is now time for the top 11 portable snacks.  Of course, as one that believes Spinal Tap holds most of the answers to life's questions, this had to be a top 11.  There are no losers here as all are all true delights, but as a true 'merican, ranking is part of the culture.

As a reminder, these things have to be self contained snacks, easily transported, can be held in a 360 degree rotation without spillage, and taste just as good at a minimum of 30 minutes after purchase as it did right out of the over/deep fryer.

11 - Corn Dog.  Barely meets the longevity requirement.  These bad boys are "best" right out of the deep fryer and really only taste good to someone over 9 years old when eaten at the county fair or right after they lustily voted for Trump.    At the Washington state fair, they call them Krusty Pups and think that was the place where I last had one at least a decade ago.  I remember it well cause as I'm sitting there enjoying mine, a couple of local girls were sharing one nearby and were practicing fellatio on it.  Hot

10 - Calzone.  Probably shouldn't be on the list as you really can't eat them without a knife and fork.  And seriously, they are just pizza with twice the bread, and who needs to double down on the carbs at my age?

9 - Chicken Bake.  This one would rank higher if one of the criteria was 'you can have only one and you're starving'.  Total gut bomb.  Delicious, but they have a time and place.  Get the hot dog/coke for $1.50 (NT$50) as it's a better deal.

8 - Egg roll/Lumpia.  A tough one to rank as the variety and quality can vary so much from recipe to recipe.  At their best, the combination of savory meat and vegetables, especially when dipped with some sweet/hot chili sauce is sublime.  Problem is, that perfect combo is rare and the amount of times that I get a batch and enjoy them is maybe 2 out of 10.  And the frequency of the perfect blend has to be under 5%.  What happens is that the proprietor has good intentions initially,  but then goes for an extra buck and fills it with all cabbage, which has zero flavor, so they end up tasting like deep fried insulation

7 - Cha sao bao.  Probably didn't spell that right, and even if I did, every Chinese speaker would tell me I spelled it wrong.  These little gems are the pork buns you get at dim sum that have that lovely pork inside.  They have baked kinds, but the best are steamed.  While they are portable, they are best eaten right off of the cart.  Probably the best one is after it has gone around the lazy Susan a couple of times, you spy it from across the table and do that fast, (but not too fast cause you don't want to look like an animal, which you are) spin and snatch it up.  As with the egg rolls above, these suffer from consistency as the makers cheap out on the sweet sweet pork and of the three bites you take, two of them are just doughy goo.

6 - Empanada.  OK...we are getting into some lofty real estate now.  Empanadas have a tasty shelf life for as long as the meat inside doesn't spoil.  Savory?  Check.  Woulda ranked them higher but they too suffer from inconsistency as some people get too cute with the fillings and you don't know it until you are tonsil deep that some hippie thought putting quinoa or kale inside would be a good idea.  And I don't see them around enough.

5 - Samosa.  Yum.  As infrequent as you see an empanada, samosas can be found everywhere.  They get high marks for staying power and they are almost always good, no matter if you get one at the high end Indian joints, or at the end of the day at a street fair.  Think they dumb them down on the spice meter for the non-sub continent types and have to deduct a half point as they are deep fried to near death.

4 - Arancini.  You have probably never had one.  I was 51 years old before they entered my radar/bowels, which is an absolute crime.  I eat a ton of Italian and have since forever...how are these golden nuggets not anywhere.  A rice ball, coated in breading and usually filled with Bolognese sauce and mozzarella, although I had a couple filled with ham and cheese that were equally delicious.  Eminently portable and just a bit greasy.  Just this past January, we were at a decent sized tourist attraction in the middle of nowhere Sicily in the off season.  There were a ton of tourist trap shacks there, but since the crowds were low and it was during the holidays, all but two were shuttered.  One that wasn't had a case that had three arancini left and you could tell they had been sitting under the heat lamp for hours.   Hungry, we gladly paid 1 euro each (cheap...another bonus) and wolfed them down in the car.  They were fucking awesome.  I will remember that moment for the rest of my life.  That a traditional (re. not Chinese-ified) Italian joint would open up a short walk from the apartment and sell them every day, from 9am till midnight, almost immediately after I discovered them just a couple of months earlier is the definition of kismet.  Not sure how you do it, but find one, eat it, and thank me.

3 - Puff pastry.  Probably ranked too high due to recency bias (I ate three for dinner last night).  Not too greasy, baked and filled with just savory enough curried goodness.  Lasts for hours.  These have to be all over the planet, but have only noticed them here in Taiwan.  Really, just in Taipei.  I would add maybe 15-20% more filling, but close to perfect.  At # 3, they have to be.

2 - Meat pie/Sausage Roll. While very different, these two are a team.  Like a great mixed doubles pairing at the Australian Open or the Dynamic Duo.  While they originate in the UK, the ones that I'm talking about here are Australian only.  The Brits invented them, but out of necessity and their historic lack of taste and culinary decorum, they put weird body parts inside.  The Aussies have mastered the technique and these are the quintessential foods from Down Under (no offense to you Croc Dundee and your shrimps on the Barbie, which I never had or saw there).   Eat them anywhere, anytime.  You can read Green Eggs and Ham and substitute Meat Pie and Sausage roll.  I introduced the family to eating a Meat Pie (the ubiquitous 4 & Twenty brand) at an Aussie Rules football game and know their lives were forever changed.  At the game, the lady in front of us told us about a "Pie Floater", which is a meat pie in a bowl of pea and mint soup.  Immediately added to my bucket list.  While she claimed this was the best way to eat a pie, I told her that to me, the truest example of a traditional pie/roll experience is hitting the 7-11 after the pubs closed and getting one out of the heat lamp case that was molten hot on the outside, and partially frozen on the inside, and lustily devouring it next to the dumpster outside.  Good times.


1 - Burrito.  You had to see this coming.  Portable, flexible, diverse.  You can put literally anything in one.  Drown it in sauce, chimichanga the shit out of it, breakfast style or filled with cerebro or lengua, what can't you do burrito.  You know how sometimes you are lying in bed and it is cold but the window is open, you have a comforter that is just the perfect feel and weight, and it is a Sunday morning after a night of boozing and you have no plans or have go anywhere.  You are awoken by the need to pee, which you do, but immediately go back to the sack knowing you are going to gloriously  zonk out for a couple more hours.  You grab that blanket and what do you do?  Wrap yourself up like a gawdamn delicious burrito is what you do.  The only thing about a burrito that may be classified as a criticism, and it is not a critique of the burrito but of the establishment, is that at some of the burrito bars about the planet, the meat will sit too long and one can get a touch of the squirts.  Not always a terrible thing, and well worth the risk to be able to make the burrito in just the way you want it.  How are there not more songs written in your honor?

Lemme tell you how much I love burritos.  Have mentioned annually about the pilgrimage to my hometown and really, to Taco Lita for a combo burrito.  Have probably also mentioned that am not a huge tattoo fan, but am cool with one or two as long as they are meaningful to that person (and is old enough to have enough life experience for anything to be meaningful for the duration of their remaining days on the planet).  Don't think I mentioned that I want one but could never figure out what that meaningful thing was, until I did.  Haven't told Betty yet, and may just be doing so now, but I have decided to get the Taco Lita sun on my arm.  Here it is...

This will happen.  Still to be decided is on which arm (is there some protocol like where you put a bandana or earring?) and who is going to apply it.  I am opening up the forum to suggestions on both, and if you have any additional information on the topic, please feel free.

Finally for today, went down the US Festival '82 memory lane here recently and yesterday had a Pat Benatar retrospective in the car.  I fell in love with her and Spider Geraldo on my birthday at that show and found it in its entirety on YouTube last night.  I can place the exact moment that our threesome affair was consumated at 42:55 through to the end of Promises In The Dark.

Tell Grandma you fell off the swing.