Welcome to my diary...the goal is to share with you the sights, sounds, and yes, even the smells of what it's like to be an Imbrogulio in a foreign land.
Am still receiving the periodic anonymous comments from the Jordanian pest control and auto repair places , but did get one from someone who must actually read this. The comment?..."You are fucked up". I couldn't agree more.
Mentioned that the new business going up next door was not a Bu-shi-ban, but another convenience store. It was supposed to open November 30th, but these guys have it down and it debuted a week early. I said there were 5 of these within a 1 block radius of our apartment, but forgot the Family Mart on the other side of the park, so it is now 6 Family Marts/7E's. So convenient.
A new wave of shops have sprung up in the neighborhood within the last couple of weeks.
These are tiny "stores" that are loaded with one kind of claw grabbing arcade games. Apparently, the Japanese are really into it, but these have been colossal rip offs since the day they were invented and have yet to see a single person inside. It is hard to imagine who thinks this is a good idea.
What I wish people would spend their brain power on is to develop a pair of the surf shoes that don't smell like a thousand smelly feet after one wearing.
Took the above to the Philippines cause the water has a bunch of rocks and coral close to shore, and wore them on the first day. The next morning, after letting them dry outside overnight, we came back from breakfast and the girls smelled them immediately. It was my foot smell times 20...nasty nasty nasty. Had to take them to the garbage can near the lobby it was so bad. There absolutely has to be a better way.
Our T-giving trip was relaxing. The place we stayed paled in comparison to the one we stayed last time nearby, but they tried hard and the girls both caught up on their sleep. No funny stuff, but will update the reasons why Taiwan's airport is rated one of the best. Once through security, there are many of the filtered water machines where you can refill your bottles for free, and those have settings for cold, room temp and warm water (which the locals prefer). In addition, they have vending machines that sell bottles of water for NT$20, which is 60 cents US. That you pay at least US$4 for the same sized bottle of Dasani (or $5 for the square Figi kind) at the effin' Hudson Bay is an absolute crime.
Have been reading this interesting book called They Thought They Were Free and finished it off on this trip. Written in 1955, it is an account by the writer of his interactions with 10 regular Germans who were not in the army, but how they dealt with the rise of the National Socialists and the ways they justified it in their minds and lives. Came to it from some show that said it had parallels with the way we are looking at the political dialogue and processes today. While there were some, at least in the US, it feels like we have enough people to stand up to this xenophobic shit, but will admit that some parts did hit home, especially the racial justification parts. Anyhoo, mention this not to get you to read it (although if history is your bag, you'll dig it), or to prove that I actually read (cause I don't read nearly as much as I should), but that this was an interesting book to travel with from a sociological perspective.
Having that giant swastika on the cover caused everyone that walked by at the pool or in the waiting lounge to look at the book, then look at my face with expressions of concern. I'd want to yell that it was a book against the Nazi's, but then got fascinated by the universal expressions of dread. No guys in white polos and khakis came up to me to talk about the good old days thankfully, and this was in Asia where their "nationalism" is as fierce but a tad more openly benign.
Moving on. Something I do recommend that you watch, and only takes 3 and a half minutes is the below YouTube video discussing the history of chopsticks and why they are different in Japan, Korea and China. If you are reluctant to click on links in this space, search for Chopsticks Quartzy on YouTube.
Betty, who would never say she "knows it all", but absolutely knows what she knows thought she knew all the reasons why they are so different from culture to culture, and she even learned a thing or two. If you love food, you are going to look at chopsticks differently afterwards. I won't go into all of it cause you need to see it, but one thing totally floored me. The Chinese didn't share their food family style until the 10th century and only then after tables and chairs were introduced in Asia from the West. Tables and chairs? One of our biggest past times is discussing (debating) who has contributed more to civilization. I would never admit this, but I don't think the west is superior per se and that invention is the mother of necessity and am a adherent to the theory put out by The Needham Question, but c'mon...tables and chairs? Probably also explains the squat pot.
Acupuncture...mentioned that I tried it for the first time a couple weeks ago and have been several times since. Still not sure how I feel about it, meaning is it voodoo or something for everyone, but let me relate the experience so far for posterity.
As background, I know my knees are shot and have been told that acupuncture can't really help the damage that is going on there, but my spine is now totally wrecked and people said to give this a try. The guy that was recommended a couple of times happens to be across the street, and takes the Taiwanese National Health Insurance so had no excuse. Would have liked to go with Betty for translating purposes, but this is busy travel season and didn't want to put it off any longer. I went in and while the staff speaks no English, got through the admittance process OK and met with the doctor who does speak English well I told him my tale of woe, the abbreviated version but did give him the CD images from this summers MRI, which he didn't look at for this visit. He took my pulse for no more than 5 seconds, looked at my tongue and felt my back for again, no more than 5 seconds. Told me that my heart beat was irregular and felt satisfied to start the therapy.
After a couple of minute wait, was taken into the acupuncture room, which is all tiled off and reminds of a not really dirty, but not super clean YMCA bathroom without the urinals. Dingy is a word I would use for it. There are 6 stools and they have been filled every time I've been. You sit on the stool and they point this 18th century alchemy looking contraption that blows steam onto your problem area.
The doctor comes in and for me, I get two pokes on the outside of each leg, one just below the knee and one at the ankle. My other mates in the stick room get them all over, arms, legs, face. And 9 out of 10 of the patients there are older than I, so unclear if the kids don't need treatment or if this is for the older set.
Not much to look at in there, and don't want to be seen taking too many snaps cause peoples (yours truly included) wrinkly body parts are exposed. There are some notices about hours and things on the wall, and to help me pass the time, I watched a mosquito dance around the room ( a great environment for them for sure) Below is all of the medical equipment needed. A bunch of sticks and cotton balls for sterilization.
You sit with the needles and hot steam for 15 minutes and that is it. After, I get 15 minutes of that electric stimulation device on my spine, and last time, he put me on the inversion therapy table for 10 minutes. I love that thing and it made me feel better immediately. Going back this afternoon and hope there is more of that in the plan. The doctor did look at my MRI images and his only comment about them was that "your 4 and 5 (vertebrae)?" and then makes the sound of something breaking while making the motion of an Indian burn. Great. And is Indian burn not said anymore?
It is certainly not the experience you see in the movies or TV, with a person stuck with a hundred needles all over. Putting in the needles feels like a light pinch, and then you don't notice them anymore. Each visit costs NT$100, which is like US$3.25, so why not play it through. Betty was interested and I took her after work the other day (they stay open several nights till 9pm, which is another nice feature.) He did the same 30 second analysis of her, said she had poor circulation and then into the therapy she went. She even got a couple needles in her head so must be way more messed up than I. She walked away in love with it. Am sure to have more to say on this subject, just needed to put down the details so far.
Couple more things before signing off...Betty forwarded this link that I loved. Have found it weird that I get a lot of things in my feeds about introversion and am pretty sure that I am on that spectrum. The author posits in this essay that the shitty stuff he does, like being late, keeping money in a wallet he found on the street, is justified cause he is an introvert. Funny and too true.
Caught some live music in town last week...a band called Pond who are from Australia and are the guts of the band Tame Impala. Like a couple of their things and would never go see them in the States, but in the wasteland that is alternative music here, you gotta take what you can get. I went, it was OK, and left after they played the song I liked.
Not much more to say other than I saw some bad male behavior. The crowd at these shows is about 90% Taiwanese/10%Westerners and there were a couple of local looking girls in front of me. When the band started up, a white guy (polo shirt and beard...not the hipster kind, more of the white supremacist type) starts to dance next to them. They seem kinda game and do a light slam dance which all seemed harmless, but the guy wouldn't let it go. He moves around, tries to start grinding with them, looking at them with a total creepy stare, that kind of crap. Am watching this and the girls are getting visibly more uncomfortable when the guy gets up close to one and grabs both her hands and continues with his effed up gaze move. Gross. And I hate this stuff cause now we have to do something about it and it is distracting from the music. I ask the girls if they know this guy while giving him the stink eye and they don't speak English, but the next second, a local dude who must have been watching this go down too walks in front of the girls and stands between them and the creep. He got the message and disappeared.
With this wave of dudes being outed as predators, sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming (today was Today's Matt Lauer's turn) and have heard some fatigue by certain pundits. Must say that I feel it is going too far at times too, but know this is a seminal moment in history when all dudes are getting the word that this shit is over. Fucking scum and seeing this prick at the show made me want to punch him right there. I don't preach too much to the kids, but one of the few non-negotiable things that I pounded into the Boys head from the age that he started to notice girls was to not only respect women, but look out for their welfare when they are in vulnerable spots, especially in the lead up to being on his own at school. I pray that I was convincing.
Alrighty...leave in a few hours for San Francisco. Mom had her shoulder replacement and sister is going on vacation, so I get to hang for 10 days or so. While I do have a couple of fun things planned, not looking forward to it as she doesn't seem to be acting well. Not that you can blame her, but she has been getting delirious, sometimes aggressively so, and seems to be in the pity spiral that does not go over well with anyone, especially yours truly. Gonna take all of my patience to deal for sure and have to keep reminding myself that she is 90 and that she has never been in a vulnerable state, that the frustration level is off the charts for her. I may be too busy to post next week, or may have all the time in the world. Will see you when I see you
This space may be erratic in its postings for the next few weeks. Heading out of town for T-giving weekend, so possibly nothing next week. The annual Christmas break extravaganza is also almost booked (gonna be good) and just around the corner. And another trip for me just popped up too...
Had this weird premonition the other day that something was up with my mom. Nothing specific, just a feeling. Don't get them a lot and they usually turn out to be nothing, but not more than 12 hours later I get a message that she fell and busted up her shoulder. Thankfully, she didn't hit her head again, but at this point, she needs reconstructive or replacement surgery. The initial doctor seemed reluctant to do such an intensive surgery on a 90 year old but just heard they found one that can perform it on Monday. Ugh. My sister has a vacation planned so will be visiting the States for a few days early December to be around her. As it isn't her brain this time, should have a couple of moments to sneak away, so if you are in the Bay area then, drop me a line. More to come.
Quick update on local business activity. The construction on the corner outside our place is not a new bu-shi-ban, but rather the other type of place that never goes out of business. A new 7-11. That means within a 1 block radius and that we can see from our apartment, we have 5 Family Mart/7-11's. It is quite amazing how much this culture relies on these things.
Quick recommendation. As with the personal discovery of arancini as detailed last time, found another slice of heaven on that southern Italy trip that has changed how I eat.
Hot sauce for pasta! I picked up a bottle in Palermo and kinda forgot about it, but started adding a few drips to ziti and am now completely hooked. Simply olive oil infused with red pepper, for a spice junkie, it is a revelation. It doesn't mask, but rather enhances the flavor of the saucy goodness. My initial bottle ran out and found a few different ones on Amazon and grabbed the above bottle. How have I missed this, why don't more restaurants offer it or more recipes don't call for it as an ingredient?
Not gonna rant (too much) on the state of politics cause it simply too heinous, but did hear a funny/true analogy of trickle down economics during a discussion on the "historic" tax plan they are trying to get into law that I had not heard before. Called Horse and Sparrow" economics, if you feed the horse a ton of oats, there will be more shit for the sparrows to eat. Chirp.
Quick tease...yesterday, finally went to the local acupuncture place. Had never tried it but had always wanted to and with my body breaking down exponentially am looking for relief in any way. Not sure how I felt about it and the program is to go 3 times weekly. Plus he gave me some herbs and spices (all natural of course) to take three times daily. It was a bit of a freak out show for yours truly as only the doctor speaks broken English, and the setting is unlike any type of medical facility a dazzling west coast urbanite like myself has ever been. Will detail more once I have some more perspective.
One of my buddies said I should get to writing the book that I have been contemplating. Have been unmotivated to do it cause no one reads books anymore, and the topics for something original that have been rolling around in my brain probably only interest me or have been done to death. Recently, have thought about dissecting the crap in this space to see if there is something there that I could slap together for posterity. Even came up with a name for it..."On". Chapters would be titled "On Food" or "On Driving" and would be a philosophy/etiquette tome. We'll see...may make it a NY resolution.
One of the chapters would definitely be "On Women" cause I know that I have discussed them plenty. Other than to share specific travel experiences with folks going to where we went, I have never gone back and read any of the previous posts. Never look back darling...it distracts from the now. Am a bit apprehensive about things I have said about the opposite sex especially in light of all the inappropriate touching in the news. I like to think that I would be on the right side of this topic cause have always loved the company of women more than dudes. I also feel like I have been on the right side of the harassment thing, but have to admit that dudes are awful. I don't want to say all, but have to say that all dudes are more than capable of it to some degree. Most of them/us are evolved enough to keep it in check, but it is always there all the time. When you get into a position of power, and mix it with some shit from the past and living in certain cultural pockets that makes it OK in the brain, then I guess touching a little girl or whipping it out in front of people seems like a thing to do. Sick. I always believe the women when they come forward, cause the attacks and humiliation they get when they do have to be as close to as awful as the original incident. But am not letting all the ladies off scot free either cause there are plenty of females (with obvious issues both cultural and mental) that are giving the perps (including the gawdamn President who a lot of you voted for) a pass on this shit. I lost a female acquaintance a couple years ago cause we got into it on FB over the video a woman shot of her walking the streets and the many men that would cat call and even stalk her. She got mad at me by saying that it is fine when men think you're pretty and you should feel flattered, and was even cool with it for her then under 18 year old girls. Like I said, fucked up on both sides of the aisle. This is quite a time in society when it seems to be hitting the fan and feels like it is a turning point. I guess that we do have the Prez (both past and present) to thank for something. As usual, Pat Benatar said it best...stop using Sex As A Weapon
By the way, getting of scot free has nothing to do with a guy named Scott nor the Scottish people.
If you get off scot free you avoid punishment for doing something that deserves punishment. For example, “Although the police caught him red-handed, the judge said there wasn’t enough evidence and he got off scot free”.
The word scot in this sense has nothing to do with Scotland or Scotsmen, however. Scot is believed to be a word of old Germanic origin that is related to the words shot and shoot. In medieval England the scot was a tax levied on the members of a village or town which all the inhabitants had to pay in proportion to the size of their property or the extent of their land. Some people avoided the scot, however, often because their houses were built in unfavourable places such as hills with no water or places prone to flooding. Such people were described as scot free and the term has now come to describe anyone who avoids a punishment or financial penalty that they would normally have to serve or pay.
Finally for this week, and in keeping with my pop psychology bent, and also in anticipation of the upcoming release of "On", an article popped up on my feed that discussed millennial therapy issues.
The article was about the 6 main topics millennials cite as being their problems according to a survey of therapists. I am absolutely fascinated by this generation, mainly due to how they are going to lead us on in the age of technology that my generation thought we were gonna get when watching the Jetson's. I also think that they get treated harshly by older generations for doing stupid shit cause you know what other generation did stupid shit when they were young? All of them (at least back to the Boomers...records from previous generations are spotty at best).
Anyhoo, I like to stuff my pipe, lean back in my leather chair and opine on all matters, but since this is such a serious topic, have enlisted a true genius on all things body and soul to help me analyze the millennials accordingly. So curl up on the couch and let you, and me...and the Pat Benatar talk some things through.
I can't make a decision. What if I make the wrong decision?
You will. A lot. And the odds are that you will make a few that'll screw your life up to some degree. We all do. Odds are you are going to make a few wrong decisions that you didn't think about at all, and those are the ones that can really do damage. Getting in the car drunk is a biggie and bet you can think of many more along this track. We are all on a scale between thinking too much or not at all, but inaction is unacceptable. Don't just do your best, do the best of someone that you admire. Regardless of the decision you make, Pat Benatar has some advice...
Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
I have difficulty saying "no", especially to my parents.
You should have difficulty cause they are usually right. Unless you get bad ones. I am a 70% nurture/30% nature guy and guess what, (barring adoption, gene splicing, etc.) they are the ones that both nurture and provide the "nature". The worst is the little kids that get abused before they have any tools to realize what's what and am glad you are here talking about it. There are some seriously fucked up things adults do to kids and those people need to be exposed and in a lot of cases, jailed. I am sorry if that is you and that you need to talk to a professional. Now.
I also think (really, I pray) that most parents try hard and also screw you up by trying hard, so for the most part, give them a break but don't let them off the hook either. Pat...how say you?
Hell Is For Children Will I ever make enough money to start a life with my partner?
No. Like the saying goes, if you have to ask the price, then you can't afford it. There are times when indulging when the price is high is well worth it. And you can't make money without spending money. I'd worry less about how much cash you got and who this "partner" person is. And I cannot stress this one enough...take your time. Pat feels that Payin' The Cost To Be The Boss is the way to go.
She might also say that We Live For Love but to always Treat Me Right. She has a lot to offer on this topic. I feel helpless about all that's going on in the world.
You are...doesn't mean you can't say something. I know from the previous topic that you don't have money, but bet you could spend some time on the matters that you feel strongly about? Instead of coming into my office next week, why don't you spend an hour at a shelter of some kind, or go make up some Blood and Soil posters. Whatever you're into. Pat feels strongly that "When you get to the bottom. you go back to the top of the slide"
Helter Skelter.
I feel like a fraud.
You are...stop it. Either being or feeling like one. Am not even sure I know what that means cause the definition of being a fraud I think you mean is "a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities." So either you are a fraud and you suck (and by the way, everyone knows that about you and hates you for it, so you aren't really a fraud, just a dick), or you aren't a fraud and are wasting time. What kind of time Pat?
Precious Time My anxiety is interfering with my life.
Mentioned at the end of summer that during a parent seminar during UVA orientation on the kids adaptation to life away from home, researchers have seen a huge change from kids in the past feeling stress to now feeling anxiety. The obvious reason was that parents in the past used to push their kids to achieve, to the new parenting style of laying everything out for them so get anxious when it comes their turn to perform on their own. As the youngest child in a family from the "pushing generation" parents, but who were too old and tired to push too hard, am lucky that I don't noticeably feel an inordinate amount of stress or anxiety. And I think there are some lessons for you in that. First, what's done is done and you were wired for better or worse the way you are, but that you have identified it allows you to use it as one of your super powers. Second, a very wise friend, who was also messed up by his psychology professor parents, once said to me as we were discussing child rearing, "a little angst is a good thing". So when it is your turn to screw your kids up, remember to instill a little anxiety and a little stress and most importantly, let your kids find out what's what without you telling them all the answers is the way to go.
As for today and tomorrow, you have got to find the thing that makes you happy where you can go to...what is the clinical term?...mellow the fuck out. I'll share a few of mine to give you some examples. A little exercise is great. Don't get all obsessive over it, but at least a little walk every day. And you don't have to go into complete silence to meditate as it can take whatever form works for you. My beloved podcasts accompany me on my daily ritual and they can range from mindless fun to serious topics. I also like to straighten things, which literally and metaphorically helps me put things in order. Those work for me, but here is one that I truly believe will work for anybody. Write it down. Doesn't need to be diatribes like this, just simple notes. Things to do, people to call, what you did that day, feelings...whatever. Just make it a personal ritual of some kind.
And of course, music. It comes in so many sizes and colors that there are several that fit you. Pat agrees wholeheartedly.
A friend asked on Facebook for some podcast recommendations the other day. I loved that cause I have many and also got to hear about some new ones. As an early adopter of podcasts, the ubiquitous and variety of them is almost to the point that I am overwhelmed by having so many to listen to or check out. A new one that I am liking and recommend highly is called Intelligence Matters. The host is Michael Morrel who was in the CIA and gave the daily briefings to Obama and was the one who delivered the news of 9/11 to W. His guests are all extremely well connected government officials and the conversations are enlightening. Not just US politics either...the one that led me to it was with the former head of the Venezuelan gas giant Citgo before Chavez. Policy wonk shit.
But the reason I am mentioning it today is to recommend this MP3 player.
It is by Transcend. I don't put music on it, so can't attest to how it does with sound quality, but it is 8gb so holds a ton. It is really tiny, so fits anywhere and the controls are simple to use. Why I think it is superior to others is that it is really a USB, so can plug into any charger, and the interface with a computer makes loading/deleting so easy. And that it is a USB, if you are ever in need of an emergency storage device, there you go. It has saved my butt a couple of times on that front. It also has a sound recorder, so if one is ever in a situation where you need to get a clandestine recording, while it may not be admissible in court, it may just provide enough to use as blackmail or prove your innocence. Finally , it has an FM radio, and while that may not be a huge need these days, in the event of a natural disaster when all cell service is knocked out, it may provide just the right bit of info to save a life.
Thought about the value of that last benefit yesterday as we had a disaster preparedness talk at the monthly Coffee talk at the Center. Have lived for the vast majority of my life in places where massive earthquakes are always in the back of everyones mind and information about what to do in the event of one are some of my earliest memories. Knowing what to do during and after a disaster is ingrained in my DNA and pray that all that training flows out should one occur. It is the tips to do before one happens in preparation is what I found most valuable yesterday. I am putting together a family "Go" bag, that has our documents, money, and some other must haves. Plus it is very Jason Bourne. Also updating our communication protocol and where we should meet and such. We had speakers in from the US trade office (which is effectively the embassy here in a country that has no official diplomatic relations) and they shared some info about being a US citizen abroad. One that I am gong to start doing is to lodge when we are overseas. You can go onto State.gov and input your name and passport number and what countries you will be in and when. If something happens where you are, the US government will know you are there and it may help in extracting you should the shit hit the fan.
One more thing about the Transcend MP3 player is that they are a Taiwanese company. Taiwan does some interesting design work as this CNN article will attest. Clever folk. They are still the shittiest drivers and will never be able to fully commit to them until they change that, but still.
Betty is a nut. She travels more than you can imagine...just took her to the airport for a run to Jordan for instance. The work trip before this one was a two week, 14 flight marathon to Peru and Mississippi. In between those, she elected to make a personal visit to go see the Boy at UVA for the Parents Weekend festivities. They took in a football game, for which they stayed only for a quarter as it was in a downpour.
There was a dinner in the UNESCO designated building called the Rotunda that was designed by Jefferson. It was a smallish affair where you were chosen by lottery. She didn't get chosen, but worked the system, using the fact she traveled 12,000 miles for the event, and got her party in the building. I asked if they were served in traditional Jeffersonian style...by black folk. Was told that gag was too soon.
The other lady in the photos is the Boy's "other" mom. My good friend from college Laurie, who has appeared in the space in many a story, she resides in DC and Boy-o lived with her a couple summers back while doing an internship. They developed a nice rapport and is close enough to be considered family in my book. Having her 2 hours away makes us feel better about being so far from him and she is truly his other mom. At least I thought so. I am told that they were at brunch the final day and the moms were offering to take him to a store to get him supplied with something he needed. Target, Staples...the usual. And then Laurie says, "the liquor store?", and he jumped on the offer and he ended up with a giant bottle of vodka for his dorm room. A mom wouldn't do that. She is truly the wicked Auntie.
I did hear through Betty that Boychik has completed the most important rite of passage for any self respecting UVA student. During their time at the school, tradition dictates that one must run the length of The Lawn (400+ yards) and back naked.
At American, we didn't need any dumb ass tradition to run around naked.
By all accounts, the little shit is doing too well. Have told you about him getting around, but Betty learned he has made a "special friend" and even invited her out for brunch where they told a story of jumping into some Jefferson fountain in their skivvies. Have I mentioned that I am totally jealous and envious? What wasn't good was I asked him about the recent election. Was on him about getting registered, especially cause Virginia is on the front lines of the political divide. He did get set up in time, which was good, but he didn't vote. He was lucky that things broke the right way this time, but I told him he was lucky and that I was pissed. Like I said...little shit.
Allrighty...it is now time for the top 11 portable snacks. Of course, as one that believes Spinal Tap holds most of the answers to life's questions, this had to be a top 11. There are no losers here as all are all true delights, but as a true 'merican, ranking is part of the culture.
As a reminder, these things have to be self contained snacks, easily transported, can be held in a 360 degree rotation without spillage, and taste just as good at a minimum of 30 minutes after purchase as it did right out of the over/deep fryer.
11 - Corn Dog. Barely meets the longevity requirement. These bad boys are "best" right out of the deep fryer and really only taste good to someone over 9 years old when eaten at the county fair or right after they lustily voted for Trump. At the Washington state fair, they call them Krusty Pups and think that was the place where I last had one at least a decade ago. I remember it well cause as I'm sitting there enjoying mine, a couple of local girls were sharing one nearby and were practicing fellatio on it. Hot
10 - Calzone. Probably shouldn't be on the list as you really can't eat them without a knife and fork. And seriously, they are just pizza with twice the bread, and who needs to double down on the carbs at my age?
9 - Chicken Bake. This one would rank higher if one of the criteria was 'you can have only one and you're starving'. Total gut bomb. Delicious, but they have a time and place. Get the hot dog/coke for $1.50 (NT$50) as it's a better deal.
8 - Egg roll/Lumpia. A tough one to rank as the variety and quality can vary so much from recipe to recipe. At their best, the combination of savory meat and vegetables, especially when dipped with some sweet/hot chili sauce is sublime. Problem is, that perfect combo is rare and the amount of times that I get a batch and enjoy them is maybe 2 out of 10. And the frequency of the perfect blend has to be under 5%. What happens is that the proprietor has good intentions initially, but then goes for an extra buck and fills it with all cabbage, which has zero flavor, so they end up tasting like deep fried insulation
7 - Cha sao bao. Probably didn't spell that right, and even if I did, every Chinese speaker would tell me I spelled it wrong. These little gems are the pork buns you get at dim sum that have that lovely pork inside. They have baked kinds, but the best are steamed. While they are portable, they are best eaten right off of the cart. Probably the best one is after it has gone around the lazy Susan a couple of times, you spy it from across the table and do that fast, (but not too fast cause you don't want to look like an animal, which you are) spin and snatch it up. As with the egg rolls above, these suffer from consistency as the makers cheap out on the sweet sweet pork and of the three bites you take, two of them are just doughy goo.
6 - Empanada. OK...we are getting into some lofty real estate now. Empanadas have a tasty shelf life for as long as the meat inside doesn't spoil. Savory? Check. Woulda ranked them higher but they too suffer from inconsistency as some people get too cute with the fillings and you don't know it until you are tonsil deep that some hippie thought putting quinoa or kale inside would be a good idea. And I don't see them around enough.
5 - Samosa. Yum. As infrequent as you see an empanada, samosas can be found everywhere. They get high marks for staying power and they are almost always good, no matter if you get one at the high end Indian joints, or at the end of the day at a street fair. Think they dumb them down on the spice meter for the non-sub continent types and have to deduct a half point as they are deep fried to near death.
4 - Arancini. You have probably never had one. I was 51 years old before they entered my radar/bowels, which is an absolute crime. I eat a ton of Italian and have since forever...how are these golden nuggets not anywhere. A rice ball, coated in breading and usually filled with Bolognese sauce and mozzarella, although I had a couple filled with ham and cheese that were equally delicious. Eminently portable and just a bit greasy. Just this past January, we were at a decent sized tourist attraction in the middle of nowhere Sicily in the off season. There were a ton of tourist trap shacks there, but since the crowds were low and it was during the holidays, all but two were shuttered. One that wasn't had a case that had three arancini left and you could tell they had been sitting under the heat lamp for hours. Hungry, we gladly paid 1 euro each (cheap...another bonus) and wolfed them down in the car. They were fucking awesome. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. That a traditional (re. not Chinese-ified) Italian joint would open up a short walk from the apartment and sell them every day, from 9am till midnight, almost immediately after I discovered them just a couple of months earlier is the definition of kismet. Not sure how you do it, but find one, eat it, and thank me.
3 - Puff pastry. Probably ranked too high due to recency bias (I ate three for dinner last night). Not too greasy, baked and filled with just savory enough curried goodness. Lasts for hours. These have to be all over the planet, but have only noticed them here in Taiwan. Really, just in Taipei. I would add maybe 15-20% more filling, but close to perfect. At # 3, they have to be.
2 - Meat pie/Sausage Roll. While very different, these two are a team. Like a great mixed doubles pairing at the Australian Open or the Dynamic Duo. While they originate in the UK, the ones that I'm talking about here are Australian only. The Brits invented them, but out of necessity and their historic lack of taste and culinary decorum, they put weird body parts inside. The Aussies have mastered the technique and these are the quintessential foods from Down Under (no offense to you Croc Dundee and your shrimps on the Barbie, which I never had or saw there). Eat them anywhere, anytime. You can read Green Eggs and Ham and substitute Meat Pie and Sausage roll. I introduced the family to eating a Meat Pie (the ubiquitous 4 & Twenty brand) at an Aussie Rules football game and know their lives were forever changed. At the game, the lady in front of us told us about a "Pie Floater", which is a meat pie in a bowl of pea and mint soup. Immediately added to my bucket list. While she claimed this was the best way to eat a pie, I told her that to me, the truest example of a traditional pie/roll experience is hitting the 7-11 after the pubs closed and getting one out of the heat lamp case that was molten hot on the outside, and partially frozen on the inside, and lustily devouring it next to the dumpster outside. Good times.
1 - Burrito. You had to see this coming. Portable, flexible, diverse. You can put literally anything in one. Drown it in sauce, chimichanga the shit out of it, breakfast style or filled with cerebro or lengua, what can't you do burrito. You know how sometimes you are lying in bed and it is cold but the window is open, you have a comforter that is just the perfect feel and weight, and it is a Sunday morning after a night of boozing and you have no plans or have go anywhere. You are awoken by the need to pee, which you do, but immediately go back to the sack knowing you are going to gloriously zonk out for a couple more hours. You grab that blanket and what do you do? Wrap yourself up like a gawdamn delicious burrito is what you do. The only thing about a burrito that may be classified as a criticism, and it is not a critique of the burrito but of the establishment, is that at some of the burrito bars about the planet, the meat will sit too long and one can get a touch of the squirts. Not always a terrible thing, and well worth the risk to be able to make the burrito in just the way you want it. How are there not more songs written in your honor?
Lemme tell you how much I love burritos. Have mentioned annually about the pilgrimage to my hometown and really, to Taco Lita for a combo burrito. Have probably also mentioned that am not a huge tattoo fan, but am cool with one or two as long as they are meaningful to that person (and is old enough to have enough life experience for anything to be meaningful for the duration of their remaining days on the planet). Don't think I mentioned that I want one but could never figure out what that meaningful thing was, until I did. Haven't told Betty yet, and may just be doing so now, but I have decided to get the Taco Lita sun on my arm. Here it is...
This will happen. Still to be decided is on which arm (is there some protocol like where you put a bandana or earring?) and who is going to apply it. I am opening up the forum to suggestions on both, and if you have any additional information on the topic, please feel free.
Finally for today, went down the US Festival '82 memory lane here recently and yesterday had a Pat Benatar retrospective in the car. I fell in love with her and Spider Geraldo on my birthday at that show and found it in its entirety on YouTube last night. I can place the exact moment that our threesome affair was consumated at 42:55 through to the end of Promises In The Dark.
Baseball is over for the year. Am not ready to break down or even discuss the final result today...and maybe never...but will repurpose a joke. A devout evangelical Christian, a die-hard Trump supporter and a Houston Astro fanatic walks into a bar. He orders a drink.
That joke originally has a priest, a rapist and a pedophile walking into the bar. You can also replace 'priest' with Hollywood producer, Fox executive, Fox on-air personality or Kevin Spacey.
Hodge podge day...cleaning out some disconnected randomness. Wouldn't even consider the below half baked. More just raw, unwashed and about to be expired ingredients
The business environment in our neighborhood is quite odd. In our 5 years here, either the place already existed and has stayed in business constantly, or has turned over several times. Am told that places offer sweet deal leases for the first year, then jack them up, and the stores inevitably don't do well and close. So many bakeries, clothing joints and restaurants have come and gone (coulda sworn that Cronut was gonna make it for the long haul). There is one glaring exception, and that are the Bu-shi-bans. Bu-shi-bans are after school tutoring places for kids and when we got here, there was one on the corner. I strolled around yesterday and counted them up, and there are now 9 within a three block radius of our apartment with two more being built. And once they open, business is booming as we see them filled with zombie kids being tortured every afternoon. Better than sucking down bubble teas on the corner I suppose, but how about a little exercise for their bodies?
The Apple Cider Vinegar experiment is over. One month sucking down a shot every morning. It was promoted as having a ton of health benefits, but other than making my already perfect stools a bit softer, did not notice any gains to my skin quality, nor losses in weight. My verdict is that unless you are constipated, it is unnecessary.
Have told you about the ladies that dance/exercise/dancercise in the park below our apartment and how they have a soundtrack that we can hear softly on the 16th floor. They must have broken out a new CD as they are now playing Christmas carols sung in English by Chinese vocalists. You'd think that it would be awful, and that it is a bit early for Christmas jingles, but don't hate it. And the old bats are adorable.
Sometimes make predictions in this space in the event that aliens or my kids read it someday. Today's thought for the future is that in 20 years, and probably less, the acronym CRISPR will be the hottest topic on the planet. We are currently blinded by tons of tweeted shit, but there are people out there doing real things that are gonna turn us into Star Trek characters. CRISPR stands for "Clustered Regularly Interspaced Short Palindromic Repeats" and at its most basic means that it'll be able to write our genetic make-up to spec. These folks are close already and the moral, ethical and medical implications are endless. This is not conspiracy theory stuff either. One of these days, need to go back and look over this diarrhea I emit to see how I'm prognosticating.
Mentioned recently that the weather has flipped and we are now in a still moisture laden, but markedly cooler pattern. At least 20 degrees off the thermometer during the day, the A/C is off and the shower handle now dips slightly to left of center. Look at this glorious morning shot from the balcony this morning. With the heavy clouds hugging the mountain and the streets still moist from the rain, looks downright Seattle-esque
This next paragraph is particularly crude, so skip ahead to the next one if that offends.
So for the last few years, and more noticeable recently, whenever I go into a new environment, or the weather pattern changes rapidly, my dick and balls get itchy. Itchy is an understatement as it feels like they are melting like the Nazi's face when the Arc is opened in Indiana Jones. I really try to not go at them in public, but embarrassingly caught myself doing so the other day. It goes away after a couple of weeks, and calamine lotion provides instant relief (while providing a lovely pinkish hue), but my junk is an accurate meteorological weather vane. If some people have a trick knee that predicts the weather, that means I have a...?
Forgot where I saw it, but clicked on this link that rated the world's best airports to sleep in. Asia has most of the top ranked ones for reasons they outline, but numbers 1, 2 and 4 are Singapore, Seoul and Taiwan respectively. If you have read carefully, I have spent entire night sleeps in all three within the last year. Not sure if there is a tag line in there anywhere, just sayin'
White male privilege is real and it is spectacular. You should really try it sometime.
Might get in trouble for this, especially in light of all the pussy grabbing going on, but why do all the women that run in movies look like they have never sprinted before? Their elbows are up near their ears and arms are pumping way too hard. I know women can run properly and easily, and presume it's that the actresses were not sporty types in their youth, but c'mon Hollywood, can't we get afford a trainer or edit them better? I know if I was cast in a role where I had to slap on a pair of heels without snapping my Achilles, I'd practice beforehand. I do rock evening wear and French maid outfits very naturally however and am ready for my close-up
Betty is really in tune with travel requirements and their ever changing nature, and she was telling us at dinner the other night about how it is now mandatory that your carry-ons will now be hand checked at the gate before boarding the airplane. My opinion of any security procedure is whatever you want to do, short of a cavity search, is fine by me and will be docile and compliant. I would never do this because I am all for tight security and respect the people that do the job cause it has to suck, but contemplated that it would be fun to pack a giant rubber dido in my bag to give the TSA something to talk about on their coffee breaks. We did wonder where we could buy such a thing here in Taipei.
At the same dinner, the person we were with claimed that jade is simply any polished stone. I called bullshit but since we were at the table, would not fact check him on the cell phone. It isn't.
Betty forwarded me an article about a class being offered soon at UW about media literacy. Worth 3 credits and graded, it is called "Calling Bullshit - Data Reasoning In The Digital Age" You can check out the syllabus here and says that anyone can join in online. Will endeavor to practice what I preach and take it. Hope I can do so as pass/fail.
One more thing. This isn't a prediction per se, but are some words of advice for the kids of the future. As they are unlikely to read this for another 20 years and I'll likely be in a jar in the closet, and since it was Halloween this week, consider this a message from the beyond.
Kids, I know you love your mom and that she is always a delight to be around. But in those rare times when she is cranky and getting on your last nerve, just play the below advertisement for A Place For Mom. I guarantee she will behave.
