Sunday, May 26, 2019

May 26th, 2019

Hiya,

Getting close to hitting the road.  Still three weeks away but a boy can dream.  Have been thinking about packing for a month and have already started putting things aside.  Haven't been complaining about the heat in this space lately and that is because the temps are fluctuating due to the Plum Rains.  About 1/3 of the time, the temperature is tolerable (still hotter than anything Seattle can throw at you, but still).  Another 1/3 of the time it is raining, which I like.  The last third?  Effin' ridiculously hot with humidity that you read about.  You know that I endeavor to come up with new ways to describe just how sticky this place gets and one that came to mind last weekend was that it was so humid, it felt like it was raining from inside the body out.  Not funny, just true.

Saw this story today about an exploding hot pot in mainland China.  Seems a patron dropped his lighter into the boiling soup pot and as the waitress was fishing it out, it exploded.  No word on if the waitress or customers were severely injured by what the article describes as "a tidal wave of spicy, searing soup" (yum).  If you just wanna see the video...
This gave me flashbacks of every hot pot meal I've ever had except but the spicy, searing soup projects like this outta my butt.

I mentioned how great John Wick III was, yes?


Finally for today, have been meaning to address an article Betty sent me titled The 10 Commandments of etiquette when you're at Costco.  Obviously written with me in mind as I am an etiquette aficionado and bound by blood to Costco.  Let's break it down...

1. No parking lot racing to get the best spot: It takes longer to find the perfect spot that is does to simply park far away and walk.

Seems fair enough although this should extend to all parts of life.  I understand that only a few of us have a parking super power, but chill baby.


2. The Costco “attitude”: Don’t expect to get in and out in five minutes. This is an outing and a process, not an In-N-Out Burger run. Breathe and relax. Take your time and smell the hot dogs!

Of course not...does anyone really expect this?  That said, one can be efficient and if you run your life in an organized way, you have already given yourself enough time to look around.  Not every aisle has to be looked at like it is an art gallery.  And as someone who has been up to his titties in hot dog water, the smell does not bring back fond memories yet  I still buy one almost every time.

3. Greet the greeter: They are folks just like you who appreciate a smile and a hello. Remember the Golden Rule.

Another 'nah doi' rule.  Of course you should be pleasant to people.  This dude is starting to piss me off.

4. Costco cart traffic violation No. 1.: Keep moving. If you MUST stop: park your cart on the right side. Not everyone wants to stop and peruse the deals (or hog the samples) as thoroughly as you. Keep it moving!

5. Food sample violation No. 1: Under NO circumstances are you to stop in the middle of the aisle and wait five minutes for the burrito sample to heat. Is this really your last meal?

Now we're getting into it.  Putting these two together cause they are the bane of my existence.  I understand that people are out of it most of the time, but you are allowed to fender bend their carts and in certain instances, clip their ankles with your cart .  If you run up some offenders ankle with your cart, it is best to pretend to be as out of it as they were cause I promise you that they will be instantly rocked back into consciousness when their Achilles is shredded..  You are also allowed to add expensive items to a cart or move the thing into a completely different aisle if it is truly left unattended, especially if it was done so diagonally in the middle of the row.  I do this often and will stand camouflaged near the luncheon meats and watch their confusion.  This is also a benefit from #2 above as not being in a hurry lets you perform some of these lab mice experiments.  One note of caution...do be careful when moving unattended carts if they have children inside and as a tip if you do decide to move one, make sure the child is not be old enough to make a positive identification later.

6 . Food sample violation No. 2: Keep your sampling to one ONLY. It’s a sample, not an entrĂ©e. Take your sample and move on. Not your lunch!

Screw you pal.  If I love something, damn sure I'm going back for another.  The sample pushers love it when you do as part of their pitch is to hook you in so you'll buy one.  Dude obviously does not write in the business or psychology section of his local rag.

7. Costco cart traffic violation No. 2: Don’t stop mid-aisle and visit with that friend you haven’t seen for so long. If you must stop (See rule No. 4) or go off to the Paper Goods section and chat. You can catch up uninterrupted there.

Guy is running out of steam cause this is the same as numbers 4 AND 5.  Yes, don't stop in the aisle stupid.

8. Don’t overthink the best checkout line to go through — pick one! If Costco is busy they will all be about the same time in getting you through and out.
Has this guy been out of his hometown ever?  I failed to look up where this article came from...hold on while I check.  Oh my.  It is from the Times Standard from Eureka, California.  Have you ever been to Eureka.  I have so you don't need to.  I'd say it has a similar demographic to Alaska.  Mostly filled with people that need to get a 'fresh start'/escape alimony payments.  I do respect the old hippies that were the backbone of the weed industry before it became legal, but those patriots have been sidelined by big business.  Kinda surprised there is enough of a population to support a Costco to be honest as it felt like more of a Walmart town to me.  Checkout/TSA/any multiple line scenario present the same set of variables and one must instantly profile the lines, racially and by cart content, and pick one.  Experience helps, and science will tell you that the lines to the left are usually less populated as most people are right handed and naturally gravitate that way,  but there are never any guarantees as you can't see what is in a person's soul and what evil they are capable of when they get to the register.

9. Don’t ask for the runner to get the five items you forgot — get them while in the warehouse. Utilizing a runner delays all behind you. By the way: they do not actually run!

Do people do this?  Full disclosure, there are a couple of things in the Taiwan Costcos that are two for the price listed but I can't read the sign and so they will run to grab the second jug of whatever.  I don't ever think I have noticed this happening in any other circumstance and can't imagine it being a thing, especially one severe enough to list in a top 10 gripe list.  Boy-o is working as a Costco gopher this summer so will ask him if he does this and what his pet peeves are.
10. Have your payment ready for the checker early — you have the time, money, and the conclusion of the Costco run is the exchange of currency. Be prepared to pay up.

This is the evil I was referring to in #8.  This is certainly not Costco specific as most of my aggravation in life is dealing with folks that are out of it in public spaces, and this lack of preparation ranks up there on the list.  
Bonus: Greet the greeter on the way out — load your stuff out of traffic and drive safely out of the Costco lot. People are really clueless when in parking lots — both drivers and walkers. Thanks for shopping at Costco!

A bonus?  Dude goes the extra mile.  When I looked up the by-line confirmed that this was a dude as I simply assumed that anything so inane had to be from a male voice.  His bonus is just a repackaging of 1 and 3. 

Here is my recap of his  10 commandments.   Pretend you have been in public before and realize that you are not alone in the world.  Next week, I will present my 10 Costco Commandments...Taiwan Edition.



Friday, May 17, 2019

May 17th, 2019

Hey there,

What's goin' on?  Around our clan, The Boy finished his second year and is doing what all good East Coast college kids do right after school...head to the beach in the Carolinas.  No details available other than he and some buddies road tripped down to Myrtle Beach to spend a week.  We used to do similarly in my day and I pray that he isn't doing half the crap we used to pull.  Good for him though cause after that he is gonna be working a 40hr week at Costco as a shopping cart wrangler.  Should be good for his bank account and to experience a summer doing manual  work so he gets that perspective.

Babydoll is gearing up for exams next week and had final dance performances today and Prom tomorrow.  Will share snaps if she lets me.

As for me, we had our last Coffee Morning of the semester and an artist came into talk about his work and how he got there.  I wasn't expecting much, but the dude's journey and accidental entry into the art world was fascinating.  He pencil draws cityscapes from the perspective of a plane or drone and they are arresting.  You can see what I mean by looking at  his website OverThe City.Asia.  Stuff is great but think he is wasting his talents by focusing on Taiwan.  He could make loads doing these on more populous places.

I also went to see John Wick 3 yesterday and loved every second of it.  Totally get that it isn't your thing, but it ranks up there with Mad Max Fury Road as the greatest action movie I've ever seen.

Other than that, it is baseball every day for me till we break.  I know I have said how much I love walking around campus or the neighborhood, even the airport, and kids and their folks will come up and say 'Hi Coach Imbro'.  Got me thinking about other nicknames I have and how blessed I am to have so many.  Many are takes on our name, like Johnny I, Coolio and Chinese Dinner (while I don't remember why  some elementary kid thought our name sounded like a Chinese dinner, I suspect it is that we didn't have a lot of Chinese kids or food choices in very vanilla mid-70's Arcadia, California).  This space is called Gomez Diaries and nearly most of the people I know from school, including Betty, call me that only.  I won't retell the origin of that name as it is for 21 and over and know it's been detailed before.  The rest of the college friends call me Yogi due to my penchant for breaking into their dorm rooms and stealing their pic-a-nic baskets.  A couple have resurfaced recently due to this hair growing experiment.  A new one that someone called me the other day was Q-tip as the mane is bushy and white.  Back in elementary school, the kids would call me Brillo Pad and Tumbleweed.  Like I said, blessed.

Looking forward to getting out of the heat and back to the States to see my mom.  She is 92 and while she is in way better physical shape than she should be, have noticed some distressing changes in her mind when talking to her on Skype.  Every time we talk, sometimes several times during the conversation, she'll ask me where my Dad is.  "Where is your father John...he was in the garden earlier." and things like that.  As my dad  passed away many years ago, hearing her say these things this and seeing her deteriorate is heart wrenching.  The only thing that makes me feel better is seeing the smile on her face when I remind her he's been dead for 10 years.

One thing I am not looking forward to this summer is the battle between me and Lemon Water. Couldn't help myself and clicked on this article, obviously written my the Lemon Advisory Council, about 7 things that happen when you drink Lemon Water for 7 days.  Have cut and paste the set-up for you.

"Lemon water is a huge fad right now, but you may be wondering if it can live up to the hype. It has been touted for everything from weight loss to cancer prevention, and while we can honestly say that no single beverage can cure every physical ill, this drink is pretty darn good for you.

One of the best things about drinking lemon water is that the recipe is up to you. You may use as much or as little lemon as you prefer, and even include additional ingredients like mint, honey, or other fruit. Lemon water may also be consumed warm or cold according to preference.
However, according to nutritional experts, the ideal way to drink lemon water in order to reap the most benefits is warm with at least ½ a sliced lemon included, peel and all. You don’t need to eat the lemon slices, but the peel contains valuable polyphenols, which are antioxidant compounds that can aid in weight loss. Adding lemon slices to warm water helps to extract more polyphenols than cold water can.

So what are the potential benefits of drinking lemon water every day? There are many, and some of them, like #3 and #7, make the habit worthwhile all on their own. Along the way we will bust a couple of myths about lemon water, too."
 
At least they acknowledge it is a huge fad.  I will acknowledge that #3 (more vitamin C) and #7 (helps prevent urinary tract infections) are very beneficial but will counter that I can and do get citric acid and vitamin C from other sources naturally and more importantly, not thrust upon me by the concierge at Marriott.  The rest of them are either benefits related to 3 & 7, like reducing kidney stones or tighter skin.  #1 is that it gives you fresher breath, but will guarantee that you will find a much fresher breath if you have a regular flossing regimen.  I will say the jury is still out as to whether it helps with weight loss based on their studies in mice.  The one that bumped me was   that it can help stabilize your mood.  To quote:

"The same invigorating scent that neutralizes odors can also reduce your stress and keep you feeling calm. That’s why lemon oil is a common ingredient in aromatherapy oils. When you drink lemon, you get the same stress relief plus the benefit of potassium in the fruit. Potassium is critical in the regulation of blood pressure, and high blood pressure is a key factor in your experience of stress.

If you drink your lemon water warm, you’ll experience additional soothing effects. But however you consume it, try reaching for some lemon water before you resort to wine after a particularly difficult day."

Obviously, lemon water does the opposite of reducing stress in me.  Know you were expecting a take down of lemon water but will agree that it has real benefits and people like it   I love lemons too, lemon sorbet is really the only good sorbet, and a twist in my whisky is a nice touch, shoot, I may even adopt a regimen of warm lemonade or something.  While I still feel that forcing lemon water on the entire population is unnecessary cause you can and should get all of the above easily from other sources, am going to take this off of my list of things to rail on constantly and will simply shake my head in disgust and mumble 'fucking lemon water' under my breath whenever I see it.  You're welcome.

Finally for today, a couple of hot topics in the news have been on my mind and have been trying to think them through.  The first is all this Iran sabre rattling.  This feels really familiar doesn't it.  Making up a threat even to the point of manufacturing an incident like the oil tankers or mysterious pictures of missiles and having the news buy into it so we all assume this backwards ass nation is capable of threatening humanity just to start a fight with them cause they don't like them for whatever reason.  This crowd even has the same players that ginned up the Iraq thing and yet they get quoted like that never happened.    I know it's bullshit cause they tried to change the government in Venezuela with the exact same game plan.  All of the "incidents" and reported mutineers that made a revolution seem imminent were all found to be total fabrications.  I am not a fan of Maduro or the Iranian regime, but am mighty worried about picking these fights for reasons that are opaque at best.

The other one is the battle that has been telegraphed for years but now has the weight of evangelicals in positions of power over abortion.  This has always been the trickiest of policy debates that the left supports as it is taking away potential life, and how do you defend it.  I know I have a hard time doing so.  I will always to defer to women and their feelings about their health, and that it is a bunch of white dudes who claim to be "Christians" (while simultaneously voting for the death penalty) are leading the charge makes me sick to my stomach, something crossed my mind that I have not heard as a compromise..  Other than in the cases where the mother's health is in jeopardy or where the pregnancy was forced (all very tricky but think we can agree on those in scope), would trading abortion rights for the Second Amendment be something worth considering.  Am sure that it would be a non-starter for most cause of the passion involved, but they feel like they are two sides of the same coin in a way and think I'd do it just to watch the gun aficionados lose their minds.  I dunno, have never said this out loud and hesitate cause it is toxic, but have declared  this is a safe space so there you go.



Sunday, May 12, 2019

May 11th, 2019

Hey there,

Some news stories you might have missed from around the globe.  Will start local and radiate outwards.

I loved this story about a Taipei taxi driver that was so pissed about getting speeding tickets from the roadside traffic cameras that he came back in the middle of the night with a pack of post-its and covered up the camera lenses.  The surveillance footage of him using a stick to affix the post-it to the camera is hilarious.  Article states that defacing official property could have landed him in jail for 5 years, but he expressed appropriate remorse and was sentenced to two months, which could be reduced to a hefty fine.  I have no love for the local taxi drivers for many reasons, but have absolute respect for this guy.  It may not be in your town yet, but this is a great example about how the proliferation of surveillance cams is not only gonna make us safer from crime, but will end all manner of hi-jinks.

Next is a great example of how petty and to what lengths the Chinese will go to keep their thumb on any expression of Taiwanese autonomy.  At the International Food Fair day at some Hungarian University, the Chinese embassy complained about a booth that was to sell food from here under a banner of Taiwan Cuisine, and the organizers made them take it down.  We could get into the geopolitics of nationalism and identity and how the Chinese are not the only ones that are sensitive about stuff like this, but a great example as to how any perceived slight, no matter how remote or small, is attacked every time.  You know they have to be worried when Taiwan is always cited as having positive attributes, like being ranked the 17th richest nation with respects to division of wealth (China 74 out of 191), and being ranked by Gallup as the chillest nation on Earth in terms of stress and negative experiences (sorry Chad).

Couldn't pass up sharing this story, (with accompanying video) from the Philippines.  President and Strongman Duterte was giving some speech and a giant cockroach climbs up his sleeve.  A guard comes over to knock it off unsuccessfully and it moves down the front of his shirt.  He then knocks it to the ground, crushes it with his shoe and declares "It's a liberal for sure."  I know he is all for indiscriminate killing of perceived enemies to the State, but the guy is a damn good improviser.

Finally, news from Norway. This one is a personal tale of caution.  Seems a dude had a knee injury and he bought a plastic stool to put in his shower so he could wash himself properly without slipping.  A great idea and one I have been considering for a while as mine hurt often and it will help when it comes time to wash my feet.  This guy went to IKEA and found one, but it had a bunch of little holes in it as chairs will do.  The problem arose as the holes were just the right size for his balls to slip through and get caught.  It took a while for him to dislodge his "nutter" but the cold water caused shrinkage and he was able to free himself.  This is Norway so there was no lawsuit and his notation to IKEA and their response were good natured.  He now puts a washcloth over the seat to prevent a repeat performance.

Sorry for the cop out post this week, but there is not much in personal news worthy to share and have not had the free time to spend on this space.  Baseball practises are 5 days a week and  whenever Betty is in town, she keeps me busy.  Busy with not only the usual tasks of attending to her every need, but she has been on a travel planning kick and that means I am researching things to do.  It is a glorious task so am not complaining in the least, but she has gone a bit crazy is booking 10 months out.  A bit of a humblebrag here, but get this for an itinerary.  Our summer States romp starts in one month and Babydoll and I are gonna do a road trip from Atlanta to DC to see friends and family, but also see a mess of schools.  We then go to SF to hang with my mom, and then Betty and I are going to sneak off to Chicago for 5 days as it is close to our 25th Anniversary, so we are doing that before we end with a couple weeks in Seattle.  Before we settled on Chicago, Betty considered doing a road trip for us from Mt Rushmore to Seattle, but after our arguments about driving during the last two road trips, really every road trip ever, I swore that I would not do another one unless she was bound and gagged in the trunk of the car.

After we get back to TW, we will be in Bali for Thanksgiving, then Europe for Christmas break (current plan is Bulgaria/Romania but have not locked in yet).  Next, we are going to Oman for Chinese New Year (apparently, road tripping in Oman is the thing to do and they are OK with tying up women and putting them in the trunk there...gag optional but recommended) and finally a 10 day Spring break trip combining New Caledonia and Melbourne, Australia.  Sick, right?

Alrighty then...

Saturday, May 4, 2019

May 4th, 2019

Hey there...

The first Plum Rain of the season arrived in town this Wednesday.  About time cause it's been so hot recently that the moisture has been building around my plums.

It is way late and seems like forever ago, but am gonna hammer through our Myanmar trip.  It took forever cause I needed to go through Betty's photos first and while the quality was good, the quantity was overwhelming...nearly 1800 over 6 days.  What is that?  There are a mess of good ones and am gonna attach a load of them with a running guide of what we did and where, but first am gonna give an overall impression of the place.

Stated that I wasn't eager to go to Myanmar but Betty had it on her list and you do what ya gotta do.  My reasons for not wanting to go were that it is always hot and in looking at the itinerary, there were a lot of Buddhist temples and I have long been a believer of the adage if you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.  And we did the latter.  I thought I knew a decent amount about the place but was sadly mistaken.  Here is my 10 cent recap of their history.  Kind of a backwater even in terms of SE Asian cultures, they had their heyday about 1000AD.  Between then and the British arriving in the 1800's, it was an amalgamation of loosely related tribes...there are 37 of them in the country today.

When the British do their colonial thing in Burma, it is towards the end of their run and they used it to exploit natural resources (natch), but weren't there long enough, or gave much of a shit, to put much of the good stuff, like infrastructure, in so it was kind of the forgotten outpost.  WWII was all about the gentle touch of the Japanese occupation (The Bridge on the River Kwai?) They gained their independence in 1948 and after several attempts at democracy, with some notable world politicians like U Thant, the military took over in 1962 and ruled with the typical corrupt and harsh hand that you would expect until 2011.

No one really gave this military government much thought all that time cause we weren't at war with the Commies there and why mess up a good thing?  What sealed the military's fate was Cyclone Nargis in 2008 when an estimated 200,000 people died.  It is estimated cause there was no real census before or after, areas were totally wiped out and the government refused any aid to enter the country.  The democratic government elected in 2011 with Nobel prize winner Aung San Suu Khi is hamstrung by the military, which naturally still wields ultimate power.  Continued sectarian strife and civil wars, which have been going on since 1948, but you hear about them now as there is a modest amount of freedom, abound in all parts.

Think it is safe to say that I am fairly well traveled albeit more of the Grand Tour kind than that of visiting the poorer areas of the planet.  Of all the places I have spent time, Myanmar gave me a feeling of hopelessness not felt anywhere else.  I've never been to India and experienced that nation's poverty on epic scale, but whenever I read stuff or listen to folks that go, there is always a kernel of hope or areas of the economy doing well or having potential.  I felt zero hope in the folks we encountered here.  Other than scratching a living out in some service or agricultural endeavor, there are only two avenues to make it out of that existence.   The military controls all the levers of industry, so you can do that, or you can devote your life to Buddhism.  There was an English language newspaper that I got my hands on daily, and there would be multiple horrific stories about what goes on.  One day was an article about drug addiction...Myanmar back in the day was a corner of the Golden Triangle heroin trade, but in recent years, technology has made it easy to eradicate the crop, so the savvy drug lords moved their trade indoors and now make meth.  The meth is so cheap that the rate of addiction and all the associated horror that goes on with that controls huge areas of the countryside.  Another day was a story of a Burmese maid that was sent home from Singapore in a brain dead coma.  Myanmar does not allow its people to work outside of the country, like Indonesia and the Philippines do, for whatever reason, but the people are so desperate that they go anyway.  These folks aren't trained or protected (like Indonesians and Filipinos), so their employers get unhappy with their work and beat the shit out of them.

The story that hit me the hardest was about the Burmese "brides".  China didn't like having girls for a few decades and they are experiencing a shortage of them now.  The solution is to bring in women from other countries, with Burma being the easiest target, to become brides.  This is sometimes done legally but more often, the women are trafficked.  There are no glamour wedding in store for these girls however.  The story commented how these women are kept prisoner in the homes of these men, impregnated, and when they give birth are sent back to Myanmar without their child.  Some of these women do it voluntaril  just to get a few bucks or food.

I never once felt unsafe there, which is obviously a result of a fear of the authorities.  I also never once felt any spontaneous or real looks or emotions of joy.  Wherever we'd stop there were the usual folks selling their trinkets and they barely even tried to entice us.  The hawkers in each town would have a line in English to say, "Maybe later" or "You promise" for example, but they said it like a character would in 1984...saying their lines with no enthusiasm or real belief.  People took us around the sights, or fed us or took our tickets at airports, but just never felt anything other than resignation.  I know that there has to be joy and we missed it of course, but it felt really weird and sad.  I always feel lucky and understand that it is because of where and when I was born, but if I was born there in 1965...

Want to hear the most messed up thing about the place?  We all know it used to be called Burma and was renamed Myanmar...officially the Republic of the Union of Myanmar.  I thought that Burma was a name given by colonial Britain but research shows that wasn't the case and that it was the military that thought  the sound of 'Republic of the Union' empowered them somehow.  Their language used to be called Burmese but with the new name, is called something else.  I asked some people what it was called now and they were at a loss, calling it the language of Myanmar and such.  Obviously, the new language has to be called Mayonnaise.

Not the funniest but that was the best joke I came up with on the trip and while it was lost on the natives, I enjoyed it and have worked it into the rotation.  OK...onto the travelogue.  Many photos and a few comments so feel free to peel off as you see fit.

A good thing about going to Myanmar from Taiwan is that there is a direct flight to Yangon (5hr) so do not have to spend an entire day in transit like many SE Asian destinations, so had some time this afternoon to check out the capital of 3.4 million souls.  The Yangon airports are quite nice and modern too.  We met our driver and guide and headed into town but of course had to stop on the way to see the big Buddha.  It is big and he's chilling out, but him being made of plastic kind of made it lose its luster for me.

 After a quick refreshment at the hotel, we headed down to the colonial/governmental core.  Our guide told us not to pay this lady for the chance to free a bird for good luck.  Paying to set something free seems to be a theme
The central park was filled with locals and they seemed to be having a good time...

A couple of the old buildings are still functioning and in decent shape
 But the majority are crumbling under decades of mold and inattention, and are filled with squatters
 One that isn't is the old post office turned into a jail.  Still in need of a good scrubbing however
 And in a bizzare scene, outside in the van are the folks pending movement into the jail where friends and family get to talk to them and bring them snacks
 We then walked around the open air street market to look at all the produce and meat.
 As a westerner with a penchant for meats being kept refrigerated and free of mass amounts of flies making babies on it, I can never get past the nausea seeing all cuts of meat and fish sitting on the ground in 100 degree heat.


 We immediately saw all people with this white stuff on their faces and learned it is called thanaka,  Here it is and will go into it a bit more later
Last stop of the day was at dusk for the Shwedagon Pagoda which is the center of the religion in the country and every person we would later speak to asked if we had seen it.  We saw a lot of temples/pagodas/monasteries and this will be the last time I name them cause it started to bleed together quick

 This is a common refrain in all parts of the globe.
 You get a glimpse of the Mayonaise language in the above photo which has been described as looking like butts...lots and lots of butts.

Photo op by the sacred bodhi tree
 Big and gold with hundreds of smaller shrines around it.


 A feature of many shrines is the addition of LED halos around the Buddhas. Felt cheap and disrespectful, but hey...it's your thing

Next AM (early...all of our departure times were ungodly early) we took a short flight to the historic capital of Bagan.  Myanmar has 5 different regional airlines and we took them all for some reason.  You could drive, but a 25 minute prop plane flight would take 8 - 20 hours by car.

Bagan was at its peak in the 11 century and there are aver 3,800 hundred temples there and it felt from the start that our guide was gonna show us them all.  "This one has plaster!" or . "This Buddhas eyes follow you around the temple."  We went to a few this day and were told stories, none of which I wrote down.  This was the goldest one.


 Effin' adorable future monks
 Get it on...
 Making donations/offerings to the Buddha is di rigeur.  Small bills, food and one had cigarettes.

 So this thanaka stuff is tree bark ground into a paste and the folks put it on their face and then form into designs.  We're told it also has sunscreen properties but seemed to be more of a make-up thing.


 Every guide we talked to had the obligatory rant against the Chinese tourists.  Myanmar's issues with them are the same as everywhere...they come in hordes, don't buy anything local, make messes, etc.  Since the Rohinga crises, tourism from western countries is said to be down 40% so in order to make up for the shortfall, they gave the Chinese an exemption and made their entry into the country visa fee free, which seems to have helped increase tourism as the place was filled.  We had no interest, but in the Chinese tourism books as a thing to do is to take a horse cart around the old Bagan.  As it was one of the few things the Chinese would spend money on in the local economy, the horse cart drivers doubled their rates.  Good for them.
 Mayonnaise lacquerware has a long tradition and we were taken to a shop to view the operation and it was fascinating.  This step by step wheel of the process gave good insight as to the process.  The craftmanship is laborious and extraordinary.  We bought a lovely tray.
 Adorable kid in the shop playing with bubblewrap.

 Last stop of the day was to a small rise that was built for people to congregate and watch the sunrise/sunset.  The place is incredibly flat, so from a short perch, you can see as far as the pollution will allow.


 Which isn't far.   You can sort of get the gist as to how many temples there are in this region in that shot.   I mentioned it was hot, but the "haziness' we were met with from arrival to departure was unrelenting.  It is not industrial pollution but rather a combination of stifling humidity and mass burning of leaves and garbage that coats the air.  I asked in each town if there is ever a time when the sky turns blue.  "No" was the answer every time. .  The people watching here was pretty good.  There was some Thai influencer there live streaming his time in Bagan.

Every stop we would get the folks running up to us trying to sell their souvenirs and they were not terribly interesting, but here was a bunch of kids that used crayons to draw pictures of the sites and then sell them. Thought that was really cool and wanted to talk to these kids about it, but they were devoid of passion, which is when I noticed the lack of that in this crowd.
Had to get one of their renderings of course.

Next day was number two in Bagan and we had the thing that is rated number one activity in Myanmar...a balloon ride over Bagan.  Gotta go early for rides to catch the right air currents.  The buses w were picked up in were old Japanese troop transports.  You can feel the ghosts.



Must say that I was nervous going in as had not been wowed by the local attention to safety and infrastructure, but the balloon companies are all owned by Brits with the pilots coming from the Commonwealth.   Can't see it too well in this photo, but these balloons carry 16 passengers and the baskets are separated into 4 compartments.  They put the other Chinese lady flying solo in our wedge, and the rest of the balloon was filled with Germans.  All of the white tourists we encountered this trip were Germans and it became a running gag when we would stumble across them being their German selves, we would say "Germans" in the way Seinfeld used to say "Newman"..  A story we were told yesterday at the temple with the fading mosaics was that half of them were gone as they were stolen by a German industrialist who cut them off the wall. Not the first time we've heard about this penchant of theirs.  Germans...










 A smooth ride and pretty I suppose, but the barren landscape and it being all brown from ground to sky , I was ready to land.  Betty and I did a balloon ride in Napa a few years ago, and the sky was crystal clear so am obviously jaded.  A colleague from school travelled there this week and we did a bunch of the same stuff.  This balloon ride was a bucket list thing for her and she loved it and it was hard for me to bite my tongue and not say that it was disappointing.

We landed on the banks of the Ayeyarwaddy River, which originates in the Himalayas and is the main artery and life blood of the country, and saw these folks drying their chilis.  Think this was my favorite moment in Bagan.


We were done early and our guide picked us up at 10ish to go to some city an hour away to see a depressing open air market, and more monestaries/temples/monestary temples.  But first, Betty decided to try her hand at thanaka




 Power move would have been to tell the guy we'd prefer to bag it and hang poolside cause we had all seen enough and it was roasting hot.  Going to this guys monastery and him showing us the sacred texts, and writing in his book as cool, but still.


 Last activity of the day as a boat ride on the Ayeyarwaddy for sunset, which was nice cause it was cooler.

Day 4  had us on another prop puddle jumper to the city of Mandalay.  That name evokes thoughts of a golden city and Crosby/Hope buddy films.  We get in the car and the place is a dump.  The highlight of the morning was going to (another) monastery and watching the monks line up to eat.







Then it was onto the hillside for more temples and views of the brownness.


 We then went to a part of town where we took a "ferry" across this river to an island that held the old fortresses and such.



The idea was to eat lunch and then take a two hour horse cart ride around the place that had more temples that were all advertised to be crumbling.  We felt bad for the horses.





This is where we learned our lesson from yesterday and made the call to tell the guy that we were done and wanted to pass on the horse cart and call it a day.  You can see the look of satisfaction on our faces knowing there were no more temples in store.

Those hats look goofy, but let me tell you how great they are.  Our guide had one and we saw him take it out of his bag in folded form and strap it on.  Folded, it is the thickness of a Pee-chee folder and half the size, and in the shape of a pagoda.  


Absolutely perfect to chuck in your bag for anytime perfect sun protection.  At 75 cents apiece, bought a half dozen of them for future use.

Before he took us to the hotel, asked him to stop at the U Bein Bridge as it was featured highly in the books I read beforehand.  Spanning over a kilometer over the main lake in town, it is the longest bridge made of teak in the world and is full of locals passing the time and is supposedly crammed at sunset.  We liked it OK, but the thing we were fascinated by were the dudes in the water harvesting the vegetation





Our day over early, the hotel we stayed that night was quite good...Babydoll and I took a dip, the girls went for massages while I napped, then we had dinner in the bar and they served very tapas of good quality.  We were feeling pretty good.

As I blab this out, get the feeling that I am being negative on the place but you know you get the straight shit from me as I have not been wowed to this point.   We had a couple days to go and we left early the next morning for our flight to our final stop, which was the  Inle Lake area.  Without question, this place was great and totally turned my head around on Myanmar.

The lake is about an hour ride from the airport and we had the obligatory monastery stop on the way.  Even the monastery here was interesting with thousands of shrines placed in cubbies throughout.


 Watching the young students doing their homework and fighting over the pencil was enjoyable.


It was still early morning so the plan was to drop our bags and hit the lake.  We climbed into the standard boat on the lake, a long skinny teak thing, and took off for the hour ride across to the north side.  This place is interesting in that the people that live and make their livelihood there don't just use the lake as a resource, but they live their entire existence on it.  As we cruised its length, we saw how.

There were a mess of these boats harvesting the vegetation that grows at the bottom and they sell it to farmers to use as soil and fertilizer for the farms that grow veggies in floating gardens.

 Stopped for lunch at a restaurant on the lake and sampled the fresh produce and fish from the area and had the best meal of the week.
 We found the tomatoes and avocados to be particularly delish.  Note the thanaka on Betty's face.
 We spent the afternoon visiting the industries of the area.  First was the cigar factory that makes flavored stogies called cherut.  I passed cause I don't need another bad habit
 A couple of shots of the buildings that are on the lake.  They are all on stilts and you can see that they are about 10 feet above the water.  In a couple of months when the rains hit, the water level will reach the floor
 I was curious as to how they dealt with their waste as there is no plumbing.  Our guide said each one has a room offset from the main building (you can see it with the blue tarp underneath in the below), and they use that seaweed from before as a filtration device as it cleanses their excrement.  I suppose it works cause they've been doing this for centuries and you don't see a lot of garbage or floating dookies, cholera is not an issue and we didn't get sick once, but still.
 Next shop was the one that makes the teak long boats that are the only kind we saw on the lake.  Did not see a single fiberglass speedboat or any other kind but these handcrafted type.  I bought a new teak cooking spoon
 Silver factory.  Was interested by the chemistry that goes into separating the silver from the rest of the ore
 And the weaving/textile factory.  One of the few that extracts lotus fibers to use in textiles, which Betty had never seen, and she has seen a lot of factories.

 Some great visuals

 On the way back to the town, we drove through some of the floating farms.  They lay down logs and start putting soil and vegetation on top to create the bed.  Ingenious and can attest that the stuff they grow was quite good.


 The fires of locals burning whatever dotted the shores and hills.
All of the places we stayed in Myanmar were nice, but the place here was one of my all time favorites.  Also on stilts on the lake,the rooms were well appointed but subtle, strong  WiFi for me to catch up on opening weekend of Aussie Rules Football, and tons of cute touches like a floating swimming pool, a month old puppy named Rambo that dominated everyone's attention, and a sunken rickshaw where ducks live called Duckingham Palace.

 I had read that there were a couple of wineries nearby and entertained going to check them out, but decided to hang and relax at this cool place instead.  Their restaurant served super fresh and yummy local meals and we enjoyed a bottle of the local Rose that was refreshing.



Our flight out the next day was late so we had one more day on the lake.  As we headed onto the lake this morning, got the good photos of the traditional one legged fishermen.  This crew positioned themselves to be models of the fishing style as to get some tips, but this is how they really fish.








Our guide took us to the massive 5 Day Market where the people from the lake and surrounding countryside come to sell their stuff.  Smells and colors galore.

Traffic jam getting into the place.
 Kept trying to convince Babydoll these were made of human teeth.  Was more fun when she was younger and more gullible




 Bundles of bamboo sticks for farmers to use to tie up their tomato plants.

 Mentioned that there are 37 different tribes in Myanmar and as this is a meeting ground for the region, many of them are represented.  You can tell the difference of some by their headwear.




 Of course this spot had a temple.  I may be wary of your religion, but I can at least be decent towards it.
 Hard to see in the photo but the attraction at this temple are the 5 Buddha statues that are covered so thoroughly with gold leaf that they are now lava lamp looking blobs.
 That's no lady, that's my wife.
Last activity of the day was a 45 minute sprint up one of the streams that feed the lake to a place for lunch and yet another temple.  These boat rides are so hypnotic and the people in the villages a few miles off the lake are filled with different tribes.





 Enough with the sad temples.
 There are 8 animals in the religion and you are the one from the day you were born.  There are 8 cause it is a luck number and they split Wednesday into two to make it an even number.  I am a Saturday/Dragon (the best of course), while the girls are Garudas.  They are mythical too but also pretty slick
 Local fun in the water
 There were Karen littered throughout the region.  One of the people we were talking to about the Karen said they put the metal rings around their necks and ankles to protect them from tigers that go for those weak spots when they attack.  That was a new one as I previously heard/read they were simultaneously used to make them more beautiful to attract men, or ugly to keep them from becoming victims in war.
 Betty thought she'd buy a a local scarf and was enveloped by the local zombies chanting 'Your promise"  Freaked me out a bit.







A long boat ride back, then an hour to the airport, long delay there and then late into Yangon for our early flight home the next day.  We had been with a lady that guided us around the last two days and she was a 40-something woman with twelve toes.  Very polite but as with all the folks we encountered, there was something in the background that felt sad.  On the drive to the airport, we were talking about life and such and she shared her dreams of starting a small business but has been thwarted as the money she makes has been going to pay for her father's chemotherapy as there is no medical insurance.  She told this in a way that was sad of course, but not in a way where  she was looking for sympathy or angry that life was against her, it just was.  A fitting way to go out.