Getting close to hitting the road. Still three weeks away but a boy can dream. Have been thinking about packing for a month and have already started putting things aside. Haven't been complaining about the heat in this space lately and that is because the temps are fluctuating due to the Plum Rains. About 1/3 of the time, the temperature is tolerable (still hotter than anything Seattle can throw at you, but still). Another 1/3 of the time it is raining, which I like. The last third? Effin' ridiculously hot with humidity that you read about. You know that I endeavor to come up with new ways to describe just how sticky this place gets and one that came to mind last weekend was that it was so humid, it felt like it was raining from inside the body out. Not funny, just true.
Saw this story today about an exploding hot pot in mainland China. Seems a patron dropped his lighter into the boiling soup pot and as the waitress was fishing it out, it exploded. No word on if the waitress or customers were severely injured by what the article describes as "a tidal wave of spicy, searing soup" (yum). If you just wanna see the video...
I mentioned how great John Wick III was, yes?
Finally for today, have been meaning to address an article Betty sent me titled The 10 Commandments of etiquette when you're at Costco. Obviously written with me in mind as I am an etiquette aficionado and bound by blood to Costco. Let's break it down...
1. No parking lot racing to get the best spot: It takes longer to find the perfect spot that is does to simply park far away and walk.
Seems fair enough although this should extend to all parts of life. I understand that only a few of us have a parking super power, but chill baby.
2. The Costco “attitude”: Don’t expect to get in and out in five minutes. This is an outing and a process, not an In-N-Out Burger run. Breathe and relax. Take your time and smell the hot dogs!
Of course not...does anyone really expect this? That said, one can be efficient and if you run your life in an organized way, you have already given yourself enough time to look around. Not every aisle has to be looked at like it is an art gallery. And as someone who has been up to his titties in hot dog water, the smell does not bring back fond memories yet I still buy one almost every time.
Of course not...does anyone really expect this? That said, one can be efficient and if you run your life in an organized way, you have already given yourself enough time to look around. Not every aisle has to be looked at like it is an art gallery. And as someone who has been up to his titties in hot dog water, the smell does not bring back fond memories yet I still buy one almost every time.
3. Greet the greeter: They are folks just like you who appreciate a smile and a hello. Remember the Golden Rule.
Another 'nah doi' rule. Of course you should be pleasant to people. This dude is starting to piss me off.
4. Costco cart traffic violation No. 1.: Keep moving. If you MUST stop: park your cart on the right side. Not everyone wants to stop and peruse the deals (or hog the samples) as thoroughly as you. Keep it moving!
4. Costco cart traffic violation No. 1.: Keep moving. If you MUST stop: park your cart on the right side. Not everyone wants to stop and peruse the deals (or hog the samples) as thoroughly as you. Keep it moving!
5. Food sample violation No. 1: Under NO circumstances are you to stop in the middle of the aisle and wait five minutes for the burrito sample to heat. Is this really your last meal?
Now we're getting into it. Putting these two together cause they are the bane of my existence. I understand that people are out of it most of the time, but you are allowed to fender bend their carts and in certain instances, clip their ankles with your cart . If you run up some offenders ankle with your cart, it is best to pretend to be as out of it as they were cause I promise you that they will be instantly rocked back into consciousness when their Achilles is shredded.. You are also allowed to add expensive items to a cart or move the thing into a completely different aisle if it is truly left unattended, especially if it was done so diagonally in the middle of the row. I do this often and will stand camouflaged near the luncheon meats and watch their confusion. This is also a benefit from #2 above as not being in a hurry lets you perform some of these lab mice experiments. One note of caution...do be careful when moving unattended carts if they have children inside and as a tip if you do decide to move one, make sure the child is not be old enough to make a positive identification later.
6 . Food sample violation No. 2: Keep your sampling to one ONLY. It’s a sample, not an entrée. Take your sample and move on. Not your lunch!
Screw you pal. If I love something, damn sure I'm going back for another. The sample pushers love it when you do as part of their pitch is to hook you in so you'll buy one. Dude obviously does not write in the business or psychology section of his local rag.
6 . Food sample violation No. 2: Keep your sampling to one ONLY. It’s a sample, not an entrée. Take your sample and move on. Not your lunch!
Screw you pal. If I love something, damn sure I'm going back for another. The sample pushers love it when you do as part of their pitch is to hook you in so you'll buy one. Dude obviously does not write in the business or psychology section of his local rag.
7. Costco cart traffic violation No. 2: Don’t stop mid-aisle and visit with that friend you haven’t seen for so long. If you must stop (See rule No. 4) or go off to the Paper Goods section and chat. You can catch up uninterrupted there.
Guy is running out of steam cause this is the same as numbers 4 AND 5. Yes, don't stop in the aisle stupid.
Guy is running out of steam cause this is the same as numbers 4 AND 5. Yes, don't stop in the aisle stupid.
8. Don’t overthink the best checkout line to go through — pick one! If Costco is busy they will all be about the same time in getting you through and out.
Has this guy been out of his hometown ever? I failed to look up where this article came from...hold on while I check. Oh my. It is from the Times Standard from Eureka, California. Have you ever been to Eureka. I have so you don't need to. I'd say it has a similar demographic to Alaska. Mostly filled with people that need to get a 'fresh start'/escape alimony payments. I do respect the old hippies that were the backbone of the weed industry before it became legal, but those patriots have been sidelined by big business. Kinda surprised there is enough of a population to support a Costco to be honest as it felt like more of a Walmart town to me. Checkout/TSA/any multiple line scenario present the same set of variables and one must instantly profile the lines, racially and by cart content, and pick one. Experience helps, and science will tell you that the lines to the left are usually less populated as most people are right handed and naturally gravitate that way, but there are never any guarantees as you can't see what is in a person's soul and what evil they are capable of when they get to the register.
9. Don’t ask for the runner to get the five items you forgot — get them while in the warehouse. Utilizing a runner delays all behind you. By the way: they do not actually run!
Do people do this? Full disclosure, there are a couple of things in the Taiwan Costcos that are two for the price listed but I can't read the sign and so they will run to grab the second jug of whatever. I don't ever think I have noticed this happening in any other circumstance and can't imagine it being a thing, especially one severe enough to list in a top 10 gripe list. Boy-o is working as a Costco gopher this summer so will ask him if he does this and what his pet peeves are.
9. Don’t ask for the runner to get the five items you forgot — get them while in the warehouse. Utilizing a runner delays all behind you. By the way: they do not actually run!
Do people do this? Full disclosure, there are a couple of things in the Taiwan Costcos that are two for the price listed but I can't read the sign and so they will run to grab the second jug of whatever. I don't ever think I have noticed this happening in any other circumstance and can't imagine it being a thing, especially one severe enough to list in a top 10 gripe list. Boy-o is working as a Costco gopher this summer so will ask him if he does this and what his pet peeves are.
10. Have your payment ready for the checker early — you have the time, money, and the conclusion of the Costco run is the exchange of currency. Be prepared to pay up.
This is the evil I was referring to in #8. This is certainly not Costco specific as most of my aggravation in life is dealing with folks that are out of it in public spaces, and this lack of preparation ranks up there on the list.
This is the evil I was referring to in #8. This is certainly not Costco specific as most of my aggravation in life is dealing with folks that are out of it in public spaces, and this lack of preparation ranks up there on the list.
Bonus: Greet the greeter on the way out — load your stuff out of traffic and drive safely out of the Costco lot. People are really clueless when in parking lots — both drivers and walkers. Thanks for shopping at Costco!
A bonus? Dude goes the extra mile. When I looked up the by-line confirmed that this was a dude as I simply assumed that anything so inane had to be from a male voice. His bonus is just a repackaging of 1 and 3.
Here is my recap of his 10 commandments. Pretend you have been in public before and realize that you are not alone in the world. Next week, I will present my 10 Costco Commandments...Taiwan Edition.
A bonus? Dude goes the extra mile. When I looked up the by-line confirmed that this was a dude as I simply assumed that anything so inane had to be from a male voice. His bonus is just a repackaging of 1 and 3.
Here is my recap of his 10 commandments. Pretend you have been in public before and realize that you are not alone in the world. Next week, I will present my 10 Costco Commandments...Taiwan Edition.
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