June 18th, 2020

Hiya,

Some Gomez items for ya this week.

As regular visitors to this page know, Taiwan has licked the virus and this week saw the country take off restrictions on crowd sizes, which meant that baseball stadiums can be filled to the brim.  Not that they ever are, but still.  There is a couple we are friendly with that are moving back to the States on Friday and they are big baseball fans and wanted to catch one more game in person this year as they are rightfully skeptical of seeing any MLB in 2020, so we agreed to catch a Wednesday night tilt between the Brother Elephants at the Fubon Guardians.

These games are a ton of fun but the stadium across the street from our apartment is being renovated this season, so we Ubered to Xinshuang (about 40 minutes away).  Was kinda dreading it cause it is so hot and motivating to go out is an issue, but had to do it for our departing friends and am glad we did.

It looks like a pleasant evening in this snap, but it was 105 degrees at first pitch.

And only "cooled" off to 96 at the end of the game.

The fan experience in Taiwan is pretty good.  While the stadium can be filled up and you don't need PPE's in the seats, you do need to wear your masks in the concourse area.  To have fun with the restrictions, instead of the Kiss Cam, they had the Wash Cam.  They pan around the stadium with the running water and people wash their hands in it.  We got put up on the big screen and I started with the hands, then moved to my armpits.  As I stood up to then simulate washing my ass, our other friends came back with their food and got in the way.  That woulda been a good one, but alas.

Sidetrack...I was fortunate to see Redd Foxx in Vegas before he passed and he did his classic "You Gotta Wash Your Ass" bit and wanted to insert that YouTube video of his album of that name.  Something changed recently with how this blog spot operates and have been having issues finding videos I want, so instead of linking to that album, which you should search out if you have some time, here is 4 minutes of Redd doing filthy 'Confucius Say' jokes.  The kids would say, "highly inappropriate"

Games cost about 10-12 bucks for a seat and a feature that is hard to believe is that not only can you bring in your own food, but your own booze too.  As much as you can carry from what I can tell.  Being a whisky drinker makes the load manageable.  The food options at this place were limited, but not awful and I got a personal spicy chorizo pizza that was legit.   What was a hoot was the wep napkin they included with my pie to clean off after eating...that is actual size.

The Asian love themselves a goofy mascot and the Guardians were no exception.  The addition of PPE is a nice touch.

By far the most endearing/obnoxious difference between a baseball game in the States and here are the songs.  Every player has their own song and the chear squad beats a drum (sometimes accompanied by horns) and sings whoever is up at bats song during the entire at bat.  And it is amplified throughout the stadium...loud.  So it is some variation of hitto hitto go-go-go full blast all night.  It's cute for an inning maybe, but gets really old.  What is endearing is that many of the fans, mostly the ladies, will dance to the songs.  Each track has an accompanying individual dance routine and the fans know them all, so they will do all the moves for each player all night long.  It's also cool that the crowd is easily 40-50% women and they give it all in their dance moves.  We had three girls behind us, that we estimated to be between 17 and 35 years old, just digging in all night.

                                            
Oh yeah...they have regular old cheerleaders too, which is a very nice touch.

It was a 15-1 drubbing of the home Guardians by the Brother Elephants, but the home faithful danced and cheered all night and couldn't have cared less.  Good times.

Addios to those two in the middle.

The other piece of personal news is that there has been a hair update.  It has been pretty unanimous that folks have not been fans of the long hair experiment but I said that when Betty says it is time to go, that's when it is time to go.  She gave the nod this week.  Have been (literally) itching to give up on it cause it wasn't progressing in a way that I thought was cool.  Was gonna let  it ride this summer to annoy all my friends and family, but since we are stuck in this soul sucking heat, went to have it shaved this morning.  For posterity, took a series of selfies today showing just how horrific it was.

Just out of bed.

I call my mom every morning around 6AM and while I'm chatting on Skype with her, brush it to get the knots out.  She thinks it's awful, but since she is in lockdown, it gives us a couple minutes of something to talk about.

Then in tied up ponytail mode.

I had not been to the lady that has cut my hair since we arrived in town for just short of two years.  She speaks less English than I do Mandarin, and when I took off my hat and undid the hair tie, she said in perfect Keanu Reeves, "woah".  There was a woman in the chair next to me getting her hair permed to be curly and the look on her face was disgust.  It took the stylist about 10 minutes to shave it and here is the hair pile.  Doesn't look as big in the photo as it did in person.  

I am not pretty, but it looks pretty good.  When it was finished, the lady in the chair next to me turned and gave a big thumbs up.

Finally for today, my new favorite non-sequitur conversation starter is...I think that Kim Yo-Jong is pretty hot, but I've always had a thing for ruthless dictatorial women that could have me killed on a whim.