Hey there,
Always think at the beginning of the week that I have nothing to share, and something always comes up. This week, Babydoll made an admission that I knew was coming but didn't think she would admit at such a young age. She went to Boston over the T-giving break to see a friend who got tickets to see a show. Pink Sweats at some little club. She'd only been to a couple of shows and they were at big venues for things like Ariana Grande. She said that she now understands why I love to go to shows cause the tickets were only 30 bucks and she stood right up the front...and loved it. I was beaming with delight that she arrived at this conclusion. When I said that you should listen to what your old man says instead of rolling eyes/scoffing, she said that doing those things were her responsibility as a child, and I can see her point. Maybe next year I can coax her into attending one of the Yo La Tengo Hanukkah shows with me. I would certainly have gone to see Pink Sweats with her, although that might have embarrassed her into catatonia. It would be a joy to share concert etiquette with her
Another unrelated related thing this week was that I attended a talk by a cross cultural consultant. It was billed as East-West intercultural communications, and it was perfectly fine. Her spin was that on one end of the spectrum in countries like America and Australia, people speak in low context and state concisely what they want and mean, whereas in societies like Asia, the speak in high context with much nuance and the listener having to infer meanings rather than having it spelled out. In Thai, they don't have the word 'no', but rather yes and not yes. That kind of thing. This comes from the West being derived from the Socratic method and eastern thought being more Tao. I've been around this topic since my study abroad when I was seventeen and have heard the same talk dozens of different ways, and it is good to hear the differences in cultures called out cause some folks are new to the game and need to hear it, but for old timers like me, find it more annoying cause the bottom line is simple. When you are in a new culture or an environment different than yours for the first time, your outlook has to be that the things you experience are not weird, but different.
I was 17 years old and there was a group of 30 of us exchange students about to spend a year in Australia. On the bus that took us from the airport to the school where were to have a day of orientation, one of the exchange group leaders said those words and they ring in my ears whenever I go somewhere new. This got me thinking about all the snippets of things I have heard throughout the years that have rang true and have become part of my outlook and life philosophy that I lean on almost every waking minute. How to act at a show or in a new country....or at work, school, around the dinner table, etc.
So I decided to make a list of those things. I blasted out the below in 25 minutes pomodoro style and intend to put these in a list and polish/add to it for a few months/rest of my life. Consider me a prospector. I have panned the river of life and separated out a few nuggets, put them in a sack, loaded it onto my burro and am delivering them to you. I do not profess myself as a philosopher nor claim any of these as original. Many of them are from song lyrics (none from Bob Dylan). I welcome your thoughts and input.
- Always say a person's name before saying what you have to say, they will pay attention that way
- Stand in front of someone when they fail. Stand behind them when they succeed
- Kids should always be taught to refer to adults as Mr/Mrs/Ms/Dr./Professor/Coach and then their last name
- Never ask a child/anyone a nebulous question unless you want a 'fine' as an answer. Never 'how was school today', but rather, 'what did they talk about in history class' or 'why did you choose that color in your drawing'.
- Always give a choice of two things rather than leaving it up to the child/anyone. Never, what do you want for dinner/time for bed. Rather, do you want pasta or chicken/do you want to brush your teeth before or after you watch some before bed videos/TV, This works for adults just as well. Giving people power to choose from choices that are beneficial to you both gives them power.
- Obey the laws of Maximum Capacity. When two lanes merge into one, don't merge early but go to the end of the lane and zipper into one line.
- Related to the above, always allow the one/one zipper to occur...don't drive up the person's ass in front of you to cut off the natural order.
- Don't litter. It is OK to pee outside if you really gotta go and there is no bathroom
- Ask for help when you struggle. Asking for help, from a teacher/mental health professional/etc., is not an admission of personal failure.
- Related...waiting to the last minute to do an assignment/project will ensure that it is not your best.
- Related...do your best and move your ass
- Being the person that is chronically late is never cute.
- If someone is being shitty to you, consider that they may be having a bad day or have some stuff going on in their life and give them another chance
- However, there are times when you have to cut people out of your life. Think about it long and hard before you do as it is never an easy decision or a pleasant thing to do, but the alternative is worse if you determine it to be the right thing.
- You must try something 11 times before you are allowed to say you hate it.
- Never say "I am proud of you" unless you created the person out of clay or from the rib of a man. You are taking ownership and credit for their accomplishment.
- When you are wrong, say it.
- 'Thoughts and prayers' is empty bullshit. Always.
- Saying you are not a racist automatically makes you a racist. Everyone has some racism in them and you should always be looking for ways to get it out of your system. It is easy to go online and support a (fill in the blank) business.
- Extremism is always bad. Big business will never look out for you/big government will always become corrupt. Start from the middle and work your way out.
- Take a nap. Every day if you can. 1 hour is the most efficient.
- Take a walk. Every day if you can.
- Tell a friend when they wear something stupid/listen to a friend when they tell you you're wearing something stupid. Your girlfriend/wife should not be considered a friend in this instance.
- If you want a tattoo, write down what you want and wait one year before you get it. If you still want it, knock yourself out. Just please don't get it on your face.
- Speed them up when they go to slow, and slow them down when they go too fast.
- Be patient with old people. Also, they know stuff.
- The kids of today are not (fill in the blank). You were likely worse in your day. And they often have good takes on life, so listen to them too. Except for their music...that stuff is garbage.
- Protect kids from making big mistakes and let them make all the little ones. What they wear to school is rarely a big mistake.
- Once your kid hits 20 years old, your work is done.
- If you wear dress shirts, wear an undershirt. Pit stains are for life.
- Sometimes, a person's wiring is messed up and you should call an electrician.
- Never argue with improving the view.
Imbro/Post/dogs
Stairs are Imbros mortal enemy
Distintion, highest
Friends basketball pants
Stay fresh cheese bags
Move your ass should be a stand alone
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