Sunday, August 28, 2016

August 28th, 2016

No matter how early or late I go to bed, if I had a paleo meal or something extra spicy/greasy/oily to eat, or whether or not I hydrated properly the day before or had 5 vodkas on an empty stomach, I will wake up between 5:20 and 5:40 AM every damn day.  Am sitting here at 9am on Saturday morning having been up for 3 1/2 hours and the entire family is still in bed.  I used to sleep in and figure it is just another sign of getting old.  I realized this summer while staying at a couple of places that were near farms that had chickens, that we have the same sleep schedule and I must be part rooster.  I sure do get called a cock a lot.


Quick update on the above, wrote that yesterday morning and am doing a spell check this morning before posting.  Went out for dinner last night and was guzzling a bunch of (really nice) wine and say 1:13 in the morning while climbing into bed.  Sure enough, up at 5:40 again. 

Need some help finding an alternative to saying to someone that they are "doing the Lord's work".  I want to compliment them but always feel uncomfortable saying that as I am hardly religious and don't want to give the impression I am.  Sometimes those people are actually undoing the Lord's work, and sometimes people are doing things that they think are the Lord's work but feels like just the opposite.  'Keep up the good work' and 'well done' are nice, but am looking for something with a bit more oomph and am open to suggestion.

Am consciously not writing much about TW at this point as it is so effin hot that it makes me grumpy about the place.  One thing that I've been wondering about though is why the mosquitoes attack me at the ankles.  I had guessed because that is where the skin is the thinnest, but scientists think that theses pests  have learned through the epochs of time where to go to get a little privacy while they suck your blood, and that their antennae are so attuned to smells that they know smells produced in different parts of the body.  Will talk more about them and DEET when we hit Utah next time, but to finish off the East Coast portion of our trip...

The DC Metro feels old.  When we were there in college, it was new and fresh, but it has aged quickly.  The cars are all beaten up, the stations, while always a muted grey, now feel like a dreary rainy dark day, and little parts of the infrastructure, like the ticket machines and escalators, are partially broken at every station.  Add a rash of crime going on and it was a big topic around town.  People are citing articles from when they built it predicting such an outcome as they had great design but were using low end materials.  We still used the crap out of it as it goes everywhere and we did manage to get in a smile or two while doing so. 


That one was taken after we had gone to the Gay Pride festival, which was held the day after the awfulness that went down in Orlando.  If you didn't know that had happened, you wouldn't have known it based on the exuberance the attendees at the parade.

Some other snaps from that day.
Wish I'd bought one of those.


Fabulous. 

The women of DC are an enigma.  You can tell the ones that work in government as they wear a uniform, which is a tastefully designed dress in an awful color that does not go with their skin color.  The men have it easy as they all wear the same suit, but feel for the women as they have a pressure to simultaneously keep it fresh and be governmentally professional (which is way different than the professional dress I am used to from LA and Seattle where it can be much more casual)  Think it gets easier in the Fall/Winter when they can wear tweed.

There is a reason they call DC 'Chocolate City'  

There are a lot of black people in DC  and not being around them as much in Seattle for years, or at all in TW for the last 4, was captivated by their style and especially the ladies hair.  So many colors and shapes and the amount of time and effort they put into has to be intensive.  I wanted so much to take their pictures but didn't think it appropriate.  One especially caught my eye as hers looked like a freshly made batch of curly fries...good crispy ones, not like those you get at the fair.  Mmmmmm...curly fries. Will talk about Philly and Baltimore a bit further down, but the ladies there don't hold a candle follicly to the ones here.

Went to a couple of Nats games and won't detail the stadium here as I did it last year, but I felt the same way as I did then.  Technically good, but cold.  Food and music played was awful (why do they only play music the teenagers like when the entire crowd is made up of 40-60 year olds?)  They can fix those things, but where the root problem lies is that the fan base is significantly transient, meaning a high percentage come from somewhere else so the Nats are their "second" team and not as beloved.  Add that they've only been there for 11 years, so don't have adults that grew up on them and that even though they've had recent success, they have been bounced from the playoffs several times in ever more excruciatingly painful ways and you don't get the same intensity as with more homogeneous fan bases.  I challenged many of them by riding their flaws and history and they all folded like an origami swan, with the exception of my ol' buddy Beeze.  We went to a game last year and reprised it with one against the Cubs on a Wednesday 4:05 start.  Great freaking game...12 innings, multiple blown saves and see-saw leads with an epic rally in the bottom of the 12 capped by every ones favorite Jayson Werth knocking in the walk off run.  Beeze did his team proud by knowing all the stats, defending the 25th man on the roster, even providing a humanizing anecdote for total piece of shit Jonathon Papelbon (The DC Strangler).  By the end of the game, I was a Nats fan.  At least for the rest of the night.



I really hope that the girls interned some of the history/info about DC.  I tried to share interesting anecdotes and offered them plenty of chances to see stuff first hand.  Would try to recap each day by asking questions we learned or about things from their history classes...even bought all the kids pocket size Constitutions.  Betty took Paul there for a week when they were about the same age and she expressed frustration with his lack of enthusiasm and I felt the same sometimes, but then I saw him now and could tell he did absorb it at the time as he was interested.  He would take the subway to a museum after work by himself sometimes just to see stuff.  The girls did get the best of me in a game of 'Which Presidents did not fulfill their entire term' game when I forgot about Nixon (for chrissakes).  They are Harding, Taylor, Harrison, Roosevelt (illness) Lincoln, McKinley, Garfield, Kennedy (assassination) and Nixon (crook).  One guy who won't have that concern is Bernie, whose prices for merch had been slashed by this time.



The George Washington Parkway is one of the prettiest drives in the country for sure. Is nice at any time of day, but had to take Carolyn's friend to the airport at dawn to get her to her flight, and that sunrise view over the Potomac with all the monuments lining up in silhouette...takes your breath away.

Last night in town, went to see The Cure with my friend Laurie and a couple of her buddies.  Am a Cure fan since the beginning, seen 'em a few times and they are still great.  Show was at Merriweather Post, which is a venue I never went to in the old days and is, without any doubt in my mind, by far the worst venue I have ever visited.  First, is situated between Baltimore and DC in a place with no public transport that makes it virtually impossible to drive to during the week without being in absolutely soul crushing traffic  Price gouging for drinks in a way that I'm surprised some fancy DC lobbyist hasn't figured a way to implicate them as war profiteers.  Food was not only insanely priced as well but inedible to boot.  We are making strides across the nation in food options at public venues but this place was firmly entrenched in 80's era hair band fare.  I would have overlooked all of it, but you couldn't see the stage...from any where.   And I moved around all over the lawn area from the front to the back and side to side and could not get a straight view of the stage.  The did have video screens that had the most bizarre camera angles that never changed and completely missed (lead everything) Robert Smith.   Was unreal and kept thinking that the architect that designed it was some kinda evil genius in the way he was able to bend light and sound to make it the most unpleasant shed in the nation.  I had to look it up afterwards, and not only was it ranked a couple times in the top 5 outdoor venues by Rolling Stone and Billboard within the last decade, but that it was designed by none other than Frank Gehry.  If you know any of his work (the EMP in Seattle for instance), then the torture I was put through makes total sense in retrospect.  I will say that I found a sweet spot in front of a speaker just in time for my favorite Cure (and maybe any other) song.  Was loud and they did an interesting version of it so the night wasn't a total waste.  This cover by Nouvelle Vague is hauntingly good too.


Finally for DC, have to mention a couple of meals we had.  Our first day there, Paul's boss took us to a tapas place where we had bacon wrapped dates.  Oh my.  This one you can try at home with no recipe. 

If you've visited DC, you know that stuff is far from each other and that you get hungry.  The food in the museums is Soviet era and the food trucks that line the mall, while getting better, still mainly consist of old hot dogs and...that's about it.   My tip to future visitors is The Hamilton.  Located a block off the mall and a block from the White House, near a ton of stuff, is giant so you can always get a seat, extremely well appointed with each room having a different theme that doesn't feel forced, nice mix of clientele with both tourist and K Streeters rubbing elbows, and a nice menu of fairly priced and interesting entrees that will make all happy.  I know we ate there at least three times and maybe four.  One day we thought we would try a food court that was touted in some guide around the corner, and it was so loaded with smelly middle schoolers from Indiana that we all turned to each other simultaneously and said, 'let's go to the Hamilton'.  Special call out to you, Spicy Chorizo Quesadillas.

Had two of the most momentous Indian food meals in my life.  One at the Bombay Club and the other at Rasika.  Laurie took us to Bombay Club early in our visit and the items were both familiar yet exotic.  And as it was located in the midst of government, John Kerry was enjoying a meal there with his wife.  Even the girls knew who he was and seemed impressed.  We wanted a photo but knew security loomed and sure enough, a quick scan of the room  found  three large suits with earpieces sitting nearby.  Laurie was bold enough to ask them if we could ask for a photo and they kindly advised against it.  Fair enough.

I was telling Beeze (whose been a foodie since I've known him...he of the story where he ordered something weird off the Chinese menu after a Dead show one night and the waitress exclaimed "that's organ," to him and he replied, "extra spicy please.") about Bombay Club and he countered with Rasika, voted top 3 Indian in the States.  We made a reservation for the next night while still in the Stadium.  It was fantastic as well...this time, only the ingredients were familiar but the flavors were mind blowing.  And, when we got there, the lady said do we want to sit in the main dining area (which was hopping), or downstairs next to the kitchen.  I think I must have given a facial expression of "don't stick us in the kitchen' when she said, "that's where President Obama sits when he comes here."  Sold.  Great meal and a great time.  Indian food has been climbing my top 5 list to the point where it now sits solidly at number 1. 

We also took the opportunity to go to a personal favorite, Bon Chon chicken.  Spicy assed double fried Korean chicken wings.  Check your neighborhood cause they are sweeping the nation.  Babydolls friend considers herself a master of eating spicy foods, putting jalepenos on everything she eats, but Bon Chon had steam coming out of her ears.  She thought her tongue was bleeding.  I told her dad that he has some training to do before she reenters the exotic pepper octagon with me again.

Finally, another college friend (Hen) and her husband (King) threw a second annual crab fest.  Basically, Maryland Blue Crab and Old Bay seasoning in a pot, crack 'em on the table.  Am sure I mentioned before that once you have had exposure to MD blue crab, you're pretty much ruined on any other for life.  You'll eat it, but will think of the real deal with every bite.  Here is my dirty secret...I don't like the Old Bay seasoning.  If anyone from the area reads this, I might be burned at the stake (after being rubbed liberally with Old Bay first).  It isn't bad in small doses, but they put it on in quantities that would make Keith Richards OD.  I can't taste the fucking crab people.  Whew...confession really does lighten the soul.  It was a great opportunity for Babydolls friend to experience it first hand and know she has been changed forever.





I haven't been chronological in DC and part of the reason is that we took off for three days for a side trip...two in Philly and one in Baltimore. 

Leading up to the trip, started singing the theme to Fresh Prince of Bel Air and soon enough, we were all singing all the words as the TV station in our hotel had a station that was running the show marathon style.


I'd driven through Philly once about a decade ago, stopping for a nasty cheese steak (with wiz) sandwich at Pat's before moving on, but have never seen the town and thought that it would be a good opportunity to build on the history tour for the girls while catching a Phillies game. 

We pulled into town late afternoon for a game that night.  Their stadiums and arenas are all clustered together south of town, but they felt far removed from the city.  When checking in, I asked the dude how do we get to the stadium and he said we need to drive and we'd better go soon cause...traffic.  Seemed odd as we were centrally located and why would they put all the stadiums in one place without public transport.  I had seen subway signs driving in, so asked another dude at the hotel and he said there is a station one block away that takes you right there.  Puts a bad taste in your mouth when the face of your place knows nothing about their environs, 

But maybe he had a point cause when we went into the subway, it was like Life During Wartime.  Empty in a way that felt threatening and apparently built at the ebb of when making things pleasant for the rider wasn't a  consideration in public projects.  Even the name of it SEPTA (South Eastern Pennsylvania Transport Authority) sounds like a toilet.



The game was fine, the Phillies are in serious rebuilding mode and got slaughtered, which takes some of the home crowds (legendary) 'enthusiasm' out of the mix.  Stadium was nice in a way that all of the new stadiums are, but as mentioned, its location did not add the charm that they do in Pittsburgh or San Diego.  They do have the best mascot on the planet (now that The Chicken has officially retired).

The food was a huge disappointment.  Was excited to learn that a branch of Tony Luke's (a cheesesteak place that a couple of locals had recommended) was in the park, but as with a lot of these stadium offshoots of famous eateries, was more than disappointing.  Cold and dry.   We were still hungry and saw a ton of people eating Chickie's and Pete's "Famous" Crabfries, so got a tub.  Famous can be good, like Tom Hanks, or it can be bad.  These famous crabfries are famous like Kim Jong-un is famous.  Not only the most disgusting thing we ate all summer, but possibly the most offensive thing I have ever eaten.  Basically, a tub of Old Bay seasoning with a couple of undercooked potatoes in it served with a side of dipping sauce that had the consistency of ejaculate.  No idea if the crab was in the tub or jizz.   Philly fans (and population) have a reputation of being prickly and you wonder if they eat this crap out of self loathing. 
Still, a lovely night with a couple of delightful women and a new notch on my tour of MLB parks belt.


Next day was devoted to seeing the sights of Philly.  The historic core is easily walkable and like the Washington Monument, needed to make an early walk over to get timed tickets to see Independence Hall and Liberty Bell.  The girls are at the age where they could sleep all day, so it gave me a chance to get up and out for an early walk, which is a great time to see a city.
The line to see the Bell looked long but moved quick and was as one would expect it to be (boring).
Same with Independence Hall.  It is famous as the place where the Declaration of Independence and Constitution were drafted and signed.  Nice guide, good info and glad to have seen it as anyone with a love of American History should.  Plus, it is the place of a cool scene from National Treasure, which I would argue is Nic Cage's finest work.

The other iconic building in town is City Hall and damn if I took one picture of it.  I did take many of the William Penn statue at the top from vantage points throughout the city.



We did the Bell/Ind Hall thing in the AM and decided to do the hop on/off bus for the afternoon.  Never a bad option to see a city if you have time constraints.  Our first hop off was at Reading Terminal Market for lunch. 
You have to go here if in Philly as it is a massive food paradise.  Too many options really and can't remember what we ate but do remember it being good and that the people watching was top notch.  The Amish even have a stand where they sell preserves.  We got peanut butter chocolate cookies for later and hopped back on the bus where our driver informed us that Reading Terminal Market was the "biggest indoor market" in either the world or country. 

What would follow for the next few hours was a tour of the most/biggest/longest things in the world that Philly was famous for.  It started early and never let up to the point that it was distracting.  We'd drive up to a place and he'd be talking about it, and all I kept thinking about was when he was going to say it is the ___est.  For example, Philly has:

- The second largest spinning guitar on top of the Hard Rock
- City Hall is the largest municipal bldg. in the world
- East State Penitentiary is the world's 1st penitentiary*
- Some statue of George Washington has the most accurate interpretation of his face
- Is the worlds 2nd most sarcastic city (after London)
 - Home of the largest seated indoor statue (at Masonic Lodge)
- Broad Street "one of" the longest straight streets in world
- Love Park was home of the first Occupy Movement

This fatuation extends to signage about town.

Every place you go in the world boasts of one or two of these "ests", but hats off to you Philly for having the largest collection of biggest things.

Note about penitentiaries that we learned.  They were created in response to the horrific overcrowding and toxic conditions of prisons with their design intention to create a humane environment for the prisoners.  They were given their own cells and the Good Book.  Very progressive in thought but soon learned that connection to reality was important and that it didn't take long for inmates to go insane in isolation. 

Love Park was a great public space too...we were told that they put in these lovely fountains in response to the Occupy Movement so they could always just turn them on if the unwanted elements wanted to sit in.  Deviously simple.  I think if Mr Burns heard about them, he would say "excellent"



Disappointed that they moved the Rocky Statue from the top of the steps he climbed in some ridiculous decision by humorless government bureaucracy. 

There is (or was) some weird obsession with Joan of Arc in Philly as they have a bunch of statues and tributes to her about town but could never figure out why. 

Instantly noticeable are people in surgical scrubs and medical coats everywhere...masses of them. 

We drove past the Barnes Foundation and looked at my watch, but we just didn't have the time and I knew the girls were getting tired.  Huge bummer as it has just the kind of art I love and am still kicking myself for missing it.  Hope the Boy goes to a school on the east coast as I need an excuse to go back and see it. 

Finally, on the bus as we were driving through the theatre district (which seems quite nice, we went that night to an cool old theatre and saw Finding Dory on opening night), the guy behind me sees some theatre and says, "I saw West Side Story there in the 70's starring Leslie Uggams".  The funniest sentence I've ever heard. 

Next morning we were to drive to Baltimore, but after our poor cheesesteak sandwich experience at the baseball game, I couldn't let the girls leave town without getting a good one.  I spent far too much time researching it but decided to go to Jim's on South.  The easy way would have been to go to the Geno/Pat's corner, but they feel like they exist now only for tourists.  Kind of like going to the CBGB's at Newark Airport.  We drove past them so I could show the girls and it was a slob fest of people.  Plus, learned in my research that Geno's is/was owned by racist jerks.  You can learn more about it here, but the first line of the article reads, "Joey Vento—the owner of Geno's Steaks, and a famous-xenophobic jamoke—is dead."  That's the kind of Philadelphia talk  I love. Defined, a jamoke is "A derogatory term used to describe a lazy assed, good-for-nothing, spoon"  I have got to work that  into my vocabulary.

Drove over to Jim's, waited in the 25 minute line and we got the real cheesesteak deal.  I couldn't talk the girls into getting it w/wiz as they have been raised at a time when they are well aware that kind of processed shit is toxic, but provolone is always a fine choice.  Sweet dude frying it up and mission accomplished.


I'll keep Baltimore short as it was on the itinerary for two reasons.  Go to an Oriole game and eat a crab cake.  Got to the hotel mid afternoon and it was ideally located right between the Inner Harbor and Camden Yards.  Went for a delightful walk around the Harbor to work off the cheesesteak and make room for the crab cake.  My folks (and their folks) are from Baltimore so have been there a lot and remember it before they did up the Inner Harbor.  Inspired design that is a civic gem. 


We returned to the place that our friend's took us to last year for crab cakes, Alchemy on 36th.  Not a huge fan of food porn, but here you go.
 Just perfect...thought they were the best I ever had last year and was worried they wouldn't live up to expectation, but they blew it away.  Greatest food I've ever had.  At this point I would tell you to not miss going here and looked it up for a link, and IT'S CLOSED FOREVER.  Upon further reading, the husband and wife team opened a new location is some trendy mall, so there is hope for the future, but it was in such a cute little hip part of town that I fear the worst.  Feel fortunate to have visited just in time.

Next day was the game, the girls and I made the 5 minute walk over and met the Boy, who had driven up from DC with Laurie, Hen and King and their daughters for a day in the park.  Betty and I went with my parents to an O's game in something like 1993.  My dad, a lifelong O's fan, had gotten us tix right behind home plate and we loved it.  Until the bottom of the 1st when the skies opened up and a torrential rain canceled the game.  Was pumped to return and for the Boy to see what I remembered was the best stadium in the biz.  Plus it was both newsboy cap and Father's Day.

 With all the new stadiums in the country, it is easy to forget that Camden Yards invented the blueprint for all to follow.  Incorporating the warehouse and skyline were genius and the place has held up perfectly.  Add in a crowd that is decidedly homegrown, has a chip on its shoulder and not much else to find pride in these days on a picture perfect day and defy you to find a better baseball experience.

The O's won and we all went for a delicious celebratory Italian ice in the Little Italy section of town.  Damn fine day.

That's it for the east coast...we fly to Denver tomorrow.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

August 26th, 2016

Does the Philippines get any press in the States?  As the neighbor to the south, assume it pops up in my new feeds more frequently, and as I am a big fan of the people and the beauty of the place as well as having empathy for them as it is not inherently rich, has a history of oppressive colonialism and occupation and takes a whipping from Mother Nature, tend to keep an eye on it.  The new President, Duterte, was elected in a landslide pledging to crack down on crime and corruption.  A lot of people make these promises, but this guy backs them up with death squads and has unleashed the military and vigilantes to shoot first, ask questions later.  As you can guess, the bodies are stacking up as vigilantes are becoming judge, jury and executioner.  Just read an article that within the first 4 months of his term, 1,900 people have been killed with over 1,200 of them still under "investigation".  While backlash has been strong internationally, he seems to still have the support of the people who were yearning for order.   The guy is almost as strongly opposed to homosexuality as he is to drugs...have seen this movie before and am guessing the ending.

Reason I bring him up is that the rhetoric he uses sounds a lot like what I hear from the new conglomerate of Ailes/Bannon/Trump are planning.  I'd laugh at the absurdity of the phenomenon that are those guys if I didn't see that it is successful right down the street, know the element in the States that would love to meter out their vision of justice, and my heart bleeds at the thought that so many people will vote for him.  And I did just self reference myself as a bleeding heart cause if you're not, what does that make you?  I wish I thought of it, but read somewhere that while being a Trump supporter doesn't make you racist, you are certainly racist adjacent.

Always nice to catch up with the Chinese side of the family and had a bunch of them over the other day for a BBQ.  I was waiting for it and was not disappointed as whenever we get with Betty's relatives, the first thing they say to me is that I look fatter.  Well, I've lost a few pounds (thanks for noticing) so knew that they couldn't use their go-to greeting.  As they step in the door, first thing that comes out of their mouth is that I need a haircut.  I love that about them cause what they say, while on the surface might sound hurtful, it is always the truth and that it is meant to be helpful.  I did go and get the haircut...not just because of their comments but more out of survival from the heat.  Next day, a dude we were working with on a project that we had just met says that I look like someone.  He thinks for a second and goes, "Adam Sandler".  Better than what I used to get in my larger days, Norm from Cheers, I suppose, but yet another instance of being identified as a Jewish person. 

The other piece of family news that is fascinating has to do with medicine.  A male cousin was recently married and about a month into their marriage, the wife gets diagnosed with cancer...a cancer that the western trained doctors gave her weeks to live.  This was about 6 months ago and it was related that she was in awful pain.  She subsequently went to a Chinese medicine doctor, who gave her the local herbs and spices and she is still with us.  She came to the party the other day, and while she doesn't speak any English and we didn't pry, she looked fantastic and most importantly, is still with us. This isn't the only time we've heard first hand accounts of cures to ailments working.  While I had considered it voodoo, there is something to having 3000 years of experience and the lesson is to reserve judgment on something that seems weird

That said, it brings us to today's Olympic update - Bodily Fluid edition.  First up, Chinese swimmer Fu Yuanhui's comments about being on her period during her event.    While obviously this happens all the time, it is the first I can ever remember a woman (of any culture) talking about it openly and that she was Chinese, where the topic is uber-taboo, made it exceptionally interesting.  I had known that Chinese are averse to the use of tampons but the stat that really stood out was that in China last year, 85 billion sanitary napkins were manufactured but not a single tampon.  Not sure how I feel about that in light of my evolving views on Eastern medicine. 

The other Olympic fluid story that resonated with me was the one where the French speed walker shit himself during the race and there are pictures of diarrhea and blood running down his leg, which he tried to mop up with a sponge.  Who hasn't been there?  And I would rank speed walking as the dumbest looking sport in the Olympics.

Before we move onto the summer travel log, listened to Marc Maron interview Alan Alda on his podcast this week.  If you liked MASH, or Alan Alda, or would just like to hear a lovely and interesting man talk about an epic career for an hour, it is good stuff.  Made me flash back to watching MASH on Saturday nights when I was 8 or 9 (favorite character will always be Frank Burns although section 8 Klinger was pretty funny too) through to its final episode in 1983.  I remember that final one well as it was during my high school year abroad in Australia and the school I was attending went on a four day trip from Melbourne to Adelaide.  I cannot remember why we went but do remember watching the finale in the room of my friends and being just so fucking depressed afterwards.  Hawkeye made the lady suffocate her baby?  I know that it was about war and all, but still.  During that same trip, they offered to show us a movie one night and some of us went.  It was called Johnny Got His Gun.  The premise was about a WWI veteran that had lost all of his limbs and face (eyes/nose/ears/teeth) but his brain still functioned normally.  Then it got more depressing from there.  I do not recommend that film.

So DC...we arrived there one month BPG (Before Pokémon Go).  After marveling at the spread of that game in one month in the States, I knew the Taiwanese were gonna flip out when it came here, and they did not let me down.


We went to DC last summer but returned this year as the Boy got himself a 6 week internship there.  He is a science guy and the job was working in a lab that specializes in fabric testing.  As they explained it to me, the new types of fabrics that are popular in exercise areas, (think Drifit or Lululemon) retain a biofilm that does not get removed in the wash.  I asked them to dumb it down some more.  When you perspire, bacteria grows on those areas and in natural fabrics, that comes out in the wash.  Also created is this biofilm which is the host that the bacteria grows on and while the bacteria comes out in the wash of these new weaves, for some reason, the biofilm does not and so the bacteria grows faster each time, which is why these fabrics smell so bad after repeated wears (kinda takes some of the sexy factor out of watching a room full of sweaty women doing the 'dead bug'  at yoga class).  The lab he was at was testing new detergents designed to kill the biofilm and his job was to get the samples ready, grow the bacteria, etc. 

He got the gig through a friend of mine and stayed for the summer with another friend of mine from college, the aforementioned Laurie whose car we destroyed in previous episodes.  I think he learned some stuff and know he had a good time.  Was a soft landing for when he goes off to school next year, living on his own, being responsible for laundry etc.  I say soft as Laurie treated him like a king.  They went to baseball games and parties and I could tell that they became good friends.  Babydoll and I went for the first few days to get him acclimated, but after the first day when we took the bus together to visit his job, we didn't see much of him.  Went to dinner and such, but that was about it.  I know that the Boy and Laurie became friends as towards the end of my time there, we met up for a late dinner together and they were running late...I can't remember exactly why they were but it had to do with them being disorganized.  As they were relating the story and it got to the point where they were recounting the goofy reason they were late, the Boy goes, "that is so us".  I literally did the spit take. 

So Babydoll and I are in DC for 10ish days and joining us was a friend of Carolyns from Taiwan that had moved back to the States the eyar before.  Thought it would be fun for her to have a friend her age as we toured places I knew she would find boring so they could find solace in being bored together.  Been thinking about how to recount the DC visit and think I'll break it into parts.  Will do a clinical review of sights and then move on...if you don't need a DC tour guide primer, feel free to skip to the next entry..

Sightseeing.  I lived in DC during college and have visited several times, but there was a ton of stuff that I never got around to seeing or just wanted to see again.

- The Mall and its surroundings are always great to see.  Jefferson is my favorite as it has the best views, is set apart by the tidal basin and his quotes that line the inside are inspiring.  Lincoln has great views too and what I learned this time was they have a stone on the steps where MLK gave the "I have a dream speech".  Imagining what it was like with the area surrounding it full of people gives one pause.



- One day, we all went up the elevator to the top of the Washington Monument.  Do not miss this...I tried to pre-order tix several months in advance but they are limited and couldn't get any, so walked over there in the am about 7:30 as they give out tix for that day at 8:30.  Absolutely stunning as you can see everything all the way to the horizon.  When you go down the elevator, they go slow so you can see some of the engraved stones that line the interior...ones from cities and states and of course, the Masons. 



- The Capitol.  Another one where you have to plan ahead.  You can get the tour through your House or Senate reps (I did mine through the 'at times' Honorable Maria Cantwell.  I messed up in understanding the directions and where to go  and we got there 5 minutes late so didn't get the photo-op with her.  The reason I messed up was that I assumed that the tour met at the Capitol when it really was at the Hart building across the street but the cool thing was that we got to ride the little subway that connects the offices to the Capitol itself.  On our way into the rotunda, we walked by Senator McCain's office just as he came out on his way to the Senate floor.  He looked very serious and determined and our guide later told us he had a big defense bill being voted on that day.  He was short...shorter than me.   Tours are led by college interns and there was the three of us plus another dude, so very intimate and you gives you a chance to ask questions and hear what they have to say.  Tons of imagery in the place and every statue and plaque tells a story.  They give you passes so you can sit in on the proceedings of the House and Senate, but the line was super long and moving at a galacial pace so we didn't wait.   I had been inside the Capitol; once before.  Can't remember the reason, but was walking around the building one day in college, something like 1984 or '85, and decided to go in.   I do not remember any security, probably as they weren't in session, and was able to not only walk unfettered around the main areas, but into the House chambers.  I was the only one in the place and just sat there musing on things an active minded college kid in '85 would muse on...our Founding Fathers, pastel linen colored formal wear, Duran Duran...was glad to have lived in DC before it became a maze of security checkpoints and blast proof barriers.  And I would never muse on Duran Duran.  In '85, that woulda been The Cure and REM, but Duran Duran sounds funnier.  I initially wrote Kajagoogoo but figured most people wouldn't get the reference unless you heard the song.




- Library of Congress - Since we didn't wait to go into the House/Senate, we headed next door for a tour of the Library of Congress.  Like the Senate buildings, it is connected by underground tunnel.  If you've been to DC, it looks close on a map, but shit is far.  Another in the don't miss department...elaborately decorated with imagery everywhere.  They had a Guttenberg Bible on display and someone interested in history could spend a day there checking out all the things in there.  The girls were starting to fade so related how when I was in college, I went there to check out books in research of my senior paper, which was about Brazilian petroleum giant Petrobras.  Sat in that round room with the green lights that you see in All The Presidents Men, just amazing the access we had in those days.  You can probably still do that, but would guess that the hoops you'd have to go through are labrynthian now.   Wasn't a bad paper as I recall, about 30 pages.  The girls were mesmerized as I related how we had to hand write out the early drafts and then use a device called a typewriter for the final copy.  OK, mesmerized is a little strong.  More like looking at me as if I was some loser dinosaur.  As I was telling them about corrector tape and the need to run to the People's Drig store in Dupont Circle to get one at 3am as it was the only one open that had them, another lady in our tour group gave me the Shhhhhhhh.  Was pretty sure I was whispering and the girls confirmed I was, so farted at her.  We also saw a guy in a utilikilt.  More on them another day.

- The Smithsonian.  So much to see here.  We were all underwhelmed by the Natural History museum.  Recall not liking it when I was 5 years old and have never warmed up to it.  Seeing a giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling was about it.  They did have an interactive room as a temporary exhibit where kids of all ages can look at all kinds of fossils and specemins of flora and fauna under a microscope.  That got boring fast and then we started looking at our own fingers at high magnification.  We were all sufficiently grossed out to see the Flamin' Hot Cheeto dust that the girls had eaten the day before lining their cuticles. 

The American History was far more engaging even though a 1/3 of it was closed for renovation.  Muhammed Ali's gloves, Prince's guitar, the flag that flew over Ft. McHenry and dresses from all of the First Ladies were highlights, but again, for a history buff...  There was a temporary exhibit about the Chincha Islands war that was fascinating.  These small islands off of the coast of Peru were covered in bird shit.  Hundreds or thousands of years of it piled a mile high in parts.  The Spanish figured out that made for the richest fertilizer ever known and started mining it.  They fought a "war" over it in fact.  In the space of 30 years, the guano was completely harvested to the bed rock below.  That's a high level recap of it, but I loved it.




I also did a couple laps through the Botanical Garden and communed with the cactus alone one morning. 

We hit the Holocaust museum but didn't understand that tickets were required to see the main exhibit so botched that one.  Mention it so you don't make the same blunder.

- National Archives.  Across the street from the Smithsonian and had never been in there.  The security people going into this building were the nicest and funniest I have ever encountered.  I literally went back to the hotel and wrote them up on Trip Advisor.  The Archives have the original Declaration of Independence and Constitution, both of which have faded to the point that they are almost illegible, but still important to see.  We got there around closing time so did not get to explore all the other things they have to offer, which is extensive and if I am fortunate to return to DC, Going back there with more time to spend is top of the list.

- Ford Theatre...went there solo as the girls had had enough one morning and wanted to hang at the hotel.  Another place that I had never visited.  It really put color to the story of Lincoln's assassination.  The tour, which you need to get pre-timed tickets for, has you sit in the theatre while an actor potrays the part of the police officer that was in attendance that night.  He tells the story of the night from his perspective and was really well done.  You then walk across the street to the house where they took his body and would die a few hours later. 

All of the above sights and tours are totally free.  Do your homework and get tix in advance, but great to keep costs down.  Also, if you want a White House tour, you need to go through your House or Senate rep like the Capitol tour, but need to do it much further in advance.  I tried 4 months ahead and was told that it needs to be at least six.   A bummer was that we were there during "Middle School" season (mid-May to mid-June, so everyplace had gobs of 12-14 year olds running around.  You have been warned.

- Spy Museum.  Got a lot of recommendations to go here and cost $18 bucks each.  The first floor was cool, seeing the devices spies used throughout US history and some interactive exhibits that were amusing.  The second floor however was a James Bond museum.  Props and such from most of the movies, which is fine if you like James Bond, and I do, but felt a bit ripped off as if I wanted to see fantasy stuff, I wouldn't go to a thing called a museum.  False advertising.

- National Cathedral.  Get the "behind the scenes" tour which takes you into the bowels and rafters.  Have seen the odd massive cathedral in my day and this one is good...replete with interesting nods to American history.  Seeing the little touches, like the wine bottles the construction people drank and incorporated in the rafters or hearing about the stained glass that are part of the inner stairwells makes it come alive.  And as you go to the top and the cathedral is on the highest point in the city, another spot where you get a commanding 360 degree view.  It does cost $25 to do it...worth it if you have the time but not sure I'd go out of my way.

- Mount Vernon.  This is George Washington's house on the Potomac about an hour outside of DC and cost us $17 apiece.  Another place that gets a lot of recommendations but we all found it underwhelming.  The house is cool I suppose, and the grounds were nice, but boring.  If you are a big GW fan, you might find it interesting but my notes from the day say that it's " for old people".  What did I learn?  That George died of quinsy, which would not be fatal today, and that he freed his own slaves...after he died.  To all of those strict Constitutionalists out there, remember most of these guys owned slaves and didn't consider people without white penises worthy of the right to vote.   Revere them with one eye open.

- Bike tour.  Finally, the girls, Boy and I did a sunset bike tour around the monuments.  Fun...with many of the streets downtown closed to vehicles and paths around the monuments, was a fun easy way to get around and doing them at sunset made for a pretty evening.  Can't remember the cost of this one, but worth it.


Have rambled on long enough.  Not as many yuks in here as some like, but you know how it goes.  Talk soon.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

August 21st, 2016

Hey there.  Been a while and hope I got a chance to see you this summer.  If we didn't, please don't take it personally as we were never in any place  too long and if we did see you, it was never long enough...for me.  As the self-aware asshole that I am, realize that a little of me goes a long way.

Not much new going on around town since we left.  The day we came back, we had a noon flight out of Seattle on Delta.  Woke up that morning and turned on CNN to the BREAKING STORY of the total computer meltdown and worldwide delays on the airline.  Shit.  We tried to turn our frown upside down as we all wanted to grab a Red Mill burger before we left and this was going to afford us time to do so, until we realized that it was Monday, their day off. 

At this point, we were envisioning having a super bad day ahead, but Delta really came through.  The delay that was reported on line for our flight was 3 hours and they got us out at that time.  The delay meant that we were scheduled to miss our connector flight in Japan, which was still showing on time.  Our fear now became that the fresh proteins (more on that later) we were smuggling into town would be stuck on a tarmac in the summer and not make it to the TW fridge in edible form.  Delta held that flight for the Seattle transiting passengers and we arrived home only three hours later than planned with food in excellent condition.  To top it off, about a week later, we got a message from Delta that they were giving each of us a $200 voucher to use within a year for our troubles.  It is easy and popular to bitch about airlines, especially the US based carriers, but Delta stepped up on a crappy day with accurate info, confident and pleasant customer service throughout, and the little mea culpa gift was a pleasant surprise.  Thumbs-up to you Delta.

Won't dwell on it too much as I have not only smelt it and dwelt it often,, but it is mind alteringly and energy drainingly hot here.  I unfairly bitch about this place in this space a lot, but it isn't that bad and is in many ways a great place to be.  It's just the heat pisses me off so much and I  uncomfortable all the time...24/7.

In exciting news, we developed a new game that we think will be sweeping the Chinese speaking world...it's called Chopsticks, Chicken Feet, Dumpling and is played exactly like Rock, Paper, Scissors.  You heard it here first.

And would comment on the Olympics, but our cable company doesn't carry them so only see some clips and stories.  What I've learned so far? 
- Lochte's a total dick.
- Taiwan one their first gold medal, in women's weightlifting.
- Weightlifting has the funniest events...the snatch, and the clean and jerk
That's about it.  Oh yeah, and our cable company sucks.  I've known this and was contemplating eliminating it altogether as we only collectively watch CNN on it and we stream most everything else,  but we're in the process of changing over to the other company in town and will see how it goes. 

We had a great summer.  On paper, felt it was one of my best travel planning efforts and it went off with few hiccups and many pleasant surprises.  So much to share so will just break it up into chunks with today's bite being Boston. 

Boston wasn't on the original plan, but as the Boy is a rising Senior and is focusing his eyes on certain schools, there were a couple there that are near the top of his wish list so we took the opportunity to fly there first and knock them out.  Being exactly 12 hours behind Taiwan, the East Coast is a long ass haul flight, but it does give one the chance to see some movies.  I watched Creed, Hail Ceaser and The Martian.  All fine airplane movies with only The Martian being one that should have been seen on the big screen. 

We planned to spend 48 hours there and arrived about 6pm on a Sunday night,  In a downpour, we immediately hit the North End area for some Italian food.  The North End is my favorite neighborhood in the States and our meal hit the spot.  Took 10 minutes to get there from the airport and found parking right in front of the restaurant we had chosen.  I've told you that my super power is being able to park in front of any destination in any city/country/continent at any time of day.  On the surface, seems like a meaningless ability to have, but in the moment...

Our college tour started the next AM at BU, which is on the Charles River and a block or so from Fenway.  Good location but none of us got a great vibe from it.  Wasn't on the Boy's list but thought we should check it out to maximize our visit and that we may be pleasantly surprised.  Notes from the first few days are sketchy due to jet lag, but MLK went there and they have a Panda Express on campus. 

The afternoon found us on the campus of Northeastern.  Had never heard of this place until a couple years ago when a friend of the Boy's brother went there.  Not as ideally centered as BU, but still in the heart of the city.  It is an urban campus but didn't feel as disjointed of one as does an NYU or GW in DC.  A nice touch we all liked was that in their outdoor common green spaces, they have put dozens, possibly hundreds, of Adirondak chairs for the student body to use to mingle, study, etc. 

A well respected school, they have a curriculum that is unique to any other school we have investigated.  It takes 5 years to get through there with the 3rd year being one where all students go to work for a company in their field of study.  The school works with companies around the globe and works in conjunction with their students to find the right fit.  And these aren't regular internships or study abroad programs, but paying gigs with real responsibilities.  They say that about 65% of the graduates end up going to work for the companies they did these "Co-ops" with.  The companies are all top shelf variety as well.  Our friend's borther went to work for Apple for instance and we saw him here in TW last Spring as he was visiting the Foxconn factories on island.  The school put up a graphic that listed a few of the companies they work with and all were recognizeable.  One that stood out to me was the New England Patriots and I asked the presenter if they had any relationships with other  teams that weren't total cheaters.  I didn't, but thought about it.

This place seems like every parents dream...getting an education that gives you a real skill and leg up on the job market.  All schools have career guidance programs and such, but nowhere close to the comprehensiveness of Northeastern.  Every other school mentions that they encourage doing a semester abroad, and as a two time participant in such programs, have always touted the positive affect they had on my life and outlook on the world, but they are many times just excuses to go smoke weed and have sex with hot local chicks/dudes in some fabulous foreign town...not that's what I did that, but people have said that.

Speaking of having sex with hot foreigners, we had dinner that night with one of our oldest friends that lives in Boston.  Monica was with Betty and I when we did our semester abroad in Argentina in 1986 (she was also the driver of the car we destroyed in Pennsylvania that I detailed last October 18th).  At dinner, she related a story from Argentina I had not heard.  She had an Argentine boyfriend (with the name of James Dean) whose family owned a farm (estancia) outside of Buenos Aires.  In those pre-cellphone days there, having a land line was a big deal and having one in your home far outside of the big cities was very rare and they had just gotten one installed at their farm.   Betty and Monica were invited out for a long weekend to their farm to ride horses and do well-to-do Argentine things.  Apparently, they were learning how to shoot rifles and Monica shot out the phone connection, which horrified the family enough that they banished her into the pool house for the rest of the weekend while Betty was allowed to enjoy the farm.  Good times.  Monica is one of our favorite people and was great to see her.  Hope that the Boy chooses a school there for many reasons, but being able to see her more often is one of them. 

Next morning was our visit to Tufts, which is about a 15 minute drive from downtown in a well heeled suburb.  It was the main one the Boy wanted to see and it did not disappoint.  My only note that I have from the visit was that it was "good"  The campus was the Goldilocks size, has excellent programs and reputations in ones he's interested in, is urban enough but also tranquil.  We'll see how it evolves over the summer but get the feeling it is his # 1 choice.  Will not be a gimme for him to get in to, but looking at the numbers, he has a chance.

In regards to schools, have a recommendation for you.  Not sure how anyone takes these when I give them, but this one is ironclad and essential.  Go find the podcast by Malcolm Gladwell called Revisionist History.  If you don't know him, he is an author and will quote a sentence from Wikipedia, " that Gladwell's books and articles often deal with the unexpected implications of research in the social sciences and make frequent and extended use of academic work, particularly in the areas of sociology, psychology and social psychology."  His first season of 10 podcasts just finished and they are uniformly interesting and thought provoking.  About 45 minutes to an hour long, they are great for long commutes or walks.  I know I suggest things on here from time to time that are not that great (Fast and Furious or Tremors come to mind), but this is absolutely fantastic  and you're thoughts will be provoked in a good way. Reason I tought of it here was that he did a 3 episode arc on education that really resonated after visiting and thinking about schools and education so much the last couple of years.  

We flew out that afternoon to our next destination, Washington DC.  Will try to post soon.


Sunday, May 29, 2016

May 29th, 2016

I know I said last time was the last before summer break, but some things popped up that inspired me to share. 

First, sauna season has arrived.  Screen shot from yesterday afternoon with a temperature of 91, but with humidity, the real feel says 105.  With the occasional afternoon thunderstorm, not only does it ratchet up the sauna feel, there is ample standing water for the mosquitoes to breed freely and we are getting eaten.  Awful.




Funny quote of the week, US politics edition...Jeb! Bush said that Trump supporters are not a bunch of idiots.   Hard to admit, but I agree with Jeb! on this.  While I think they are not well-read, they aren't idiots...they are either bigots or suckers.   Other than standing up to Trump...what a total waste Jeb! was.  The amount of his gaffes and examples of ineptitude are too many to list, but my favorite/the moment I realized he was a complete black hole was when he was asked at the debate if we were to add a woman to US currency, who would he recommend.  He chose Margaret Thatcher.  Still makes me laugh.

Funny quote of the week, China/Taiwan politics edition...the main land is freaking out about a woman being the boss in Taiwan.  A great commentary on her out of the official "news" agency on the day of her inauguration..."As a single female politician, she lacks the emotional drag of love, the pull of the ‘home,’ and no children to care for,” Chinese state newspaper Xinhua noted about 59-year-old Tsai Ing-wen in an article posted Tuesday. “She leans toward an emotional, personal and extreme development of her political ruling style and strategies.”
“Her political maneuvering focuses more on tactical details than strategic directions,” the outlet continued. “She puts extreme emphasis on short-term targets and takes long-term goals less into account.” 

I should watch Fresh Off The Boat more as research, but just can't get into it.  It's not bad...the dad is kind of a puss, the kids are (understandably) caricatures, but will tune it in as the mom is a riot and nails the Tiger Mom thing..    Caught a slice of it this morning and one of the kids was asking permission to go on a field trip, and once mom found out it was going to Colonial Florida, she was all for it as she loved the early settlers and equated them to today's Chinese..."their struggle, the hardships they endure, their use of the entire Colonial buffalo."

The big news in Chinese racism this week was the commercial for laundry soap. 



If you don't like to click on stuff, the cute Chinese girl is doing laundry and the black boyfriend takes a break from painting the other room.  Betty says he is from Africa but I say French.  Either way, before she lets him grab a kiss, she stuffs a laundry pellet into his mouth, crams him into the washer and he comes out of the cycle as a spindly Chinese dude with a brilliantly white t-shirt.  The internet blew up calling this the most racist commercial ever.  I took it one more step by saying that while the shirt was completely white, the dude was still not, equating the color of his skin to that of an armpit stain.  If they wanted to show a totally bleached out white person, they should have hired Michael Cain (he is always available).  I guess using Michael Cain as a reference shows my age...also I grew up when the Calgon Ancient Chinese Secret commercial playing every 5 minutes so may have been desensitized to this kind of "racism"


The real impetus for adding this extra post was the "discovery" of this blog called The Half Asian Reality.  I say discovered but it popped up in my Facebook feed and having a half-Asian son, thought I might glean some insight into the world he lives in.  I did gain insight, but only into a world of the mentally ill.  If you are afraid of the mind of mass murderers before they snap, this isn't for you.  But if you are curious to see a lunatics manifesto evolving before your eyes, this is the place.

This is by a male with a white dad and Asian mom who resents them both (Dad is a Holocaust denier and thinks gays should be hanged, mom was...so many things), is convinced all Asian women want white guys to enhance their status and hate their own offspring because they don't look white enough.  All white women hate him (even though he is self-described stud) because he looks Asian, and that half-Asians all drive BMW's, which he nicknames Biracial Murder Wagons. 

You can't go wrong looking at any of his posts and will be teased into them with titles like...


Literally every white guy who likes Asian women has something wrong with him, including my own father

More Psychotic Chinese women, Part 3


Below is his posting called, "Asian Women Don't Love part 2.   Breathtaking....
Any Asian woman reading this will know this is true. Some, who like Asian men, will read this and agree. Some, who like white men, will read this and get angry, but they know it’s true. For some reason, black women agree almost 100% of the time.
Asian women love an image.
My mother is Chinese and my father tall, blue eyed, bearded, white, with a strong jaw, a large physique, hairy arms.
But they didn’t love each other, and they never did. She used him to make herself feel better compared to her Asian peers and siblings. To feel like she was just as good as those blonde girls she saw in catalogues. White guys will deny this till the end of time but they don’t understand Asian culture. How cutthroat it is to one up your sisters, your peers, your friends. If you get a white husband you can do that. Better yet a tall, light haired husband.
I am a Eurasian son of a tall white guy and a cutthroat, soulless Asian woman so I have no reason to lie other than to voice my outright disgust for some Asian women and white men, and my embarrassment belonging to this demographic.
Asian women see that they have high value in the eyes of people like my father. All they have to do is play a game, market themselves as being traditional, subservient and get their “white lover.”
Conservative white men who are “sick” of the “liberated” behavior of white women. “Liberated” behavior pretty much just means: white women won’t be with me because white women have too high standards. They don’t like my meek behavior. 
Asian women have high standards too. 
But to them, a white guy is just a way to circumvent their search for a high standards Asian guy, and “white men” are just a step up, because they’re white. They have blonde hair. This is better than any Asian guy.
Asian women feel better about this. They feel like they’ve “made it.”
But they don’t love the man. They present an image of their marriage to the outside world but inside their homes they nag the shit out of the guy, they bully him, they pressure him to put on a show for their friends. Asian women are bottom of the barrel, mass-produced, white-worshipping trash and yet they expect their own children not to notice.
Look at the photo of my parents. My dad staring blankly at the table while the sisters chatted away. He was an accessory, a means to an end, that’s all. Why is it when you see Chinese women married to white guys, the child is shown off like a handbag – the husband nowhere to be seen? Why is it when you see these couples in public, between the bouts of PDA that makes everyone uncomfortable, they seem miserable?
They will have sex with him a few times but only as long as he keeps up the image.
Look at how many Asian women love taking trips to London and Paris, taking pictures of the buildings. This is just an image. Nothing else. The white man makes them feel like they’re just as good as the Parisian buildings, the Parisian street scenes they’ve seen in movies.
Years ago my mother took a trip to Paris, and she brought along her sister. Her sister, also, was conveniently married to a white man, and a tall one (divorced now, haha). My dad stayed back in the office.
Their third sister was not married to a white guy. She is now a VP at a very large, very powerful investment bank and owns some of the top tier property in New York. Her husband is Chinese. She’s a devout Christian as well and arguably the prettiest in the family.
My mother? She died, she essentially willed herself to death, years after becoming so irate at my father for failing to match up with the “American dream.” He made only $40,000 a year. He was going bald. He couldn’t afford to take her on trips to Paris anymore. He even refused to live in Manhattan for fear of Jews and blacks, the place my mother loved.
When my dad went to go visit his family in his country bumpkin small town, my mother would scream about how she hated it, how she hated that small little town, where there were no street lights. She would beg to go back to Manhattan.
It wasn’t love. She only “stuck” with him as long as he provided an image. After all – she wanted a white man, so any white man could have done.
I’m surprised she didn’t cheat, to get what she wanted. And at the very end, right before she died, she hated him so much for not providing her the life she thought she could get with a 6’2″ or 6’3″ white guy, like she saw in the movies. Like many insane Asian women, she threatened to kill herself in front of me, and my brother; by holding a butcher’s knife to her arm. She would drive our car up to 100 mph on the highway and threaten to crash. She would throw knives at the wall and whisper in my ear before bed about how worthless my father was.
My wife does not like white men. She is Asian. The reason for this is as follows: she has told me that she wants “security.” She wants a quiet life where she can just raise her babies and enjoy a quiet existence. Very different from those women who dream of living abroad and mingling with white people to feel as if they’re better than their peers.
And now, as their son, I’m perpetually stuck in between. Being proud to be Asian is just ridiculous at this point. To this date, I still remember the horror of feeling so completely alone around white people, seeing Asian woman after Asian woman throwing herself at white guys. I had to actually go off to an Asian country to die, due to my self-hatred; a self-hatred instilled in me by the people around me, in my own family.
And now and then when I feel “proud” to be Asian I just think back to that moment that I realized that I was completely abandoned by the same people who are creating people just like me.  Any pride just slips away.




Wednesday, May 25, 2016

May 25th, 2016

Hard core runners are like Germans.  They have zero sense of humor.  They think they do, but they don't.  There isn't much that you can search on the internet that doesn't come up with a result, and that is one of them.  My guess is that those people are so insular so as not to really interact with the community outside of their hard core running, so they think they are funny in their own group but are totally invisible to the rest of us...except when I gun the car engine next to them on the street.  Our May Coffee morning at the Center, we had a lady come to talk about running in Taipei and while she was quite good, zero on the chuckles.  I prepped a couple of gags to throw at her to test my theory...one that I thought she would think is funny but isn't, and one that cracks me up but knew she would look at me in disbelief.  See if you can guess which is which...

Q: How do you know you're a dedicated runner?
A: When your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.

Q: What's the hardest thing about running cross country?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

So what is going on around these parts?  It is earthquake season..  Mentioned last time that we had a swarm of +5 a couple weeks ago and there have been dozens between 3 and 5 since.  Can't feel them much on street level, but do roll up on the 16th floor. 

It is also Dragonfly season.  Forget about it until all of a sudden, I am in a swarm of them when I'm out and about.  Am a big fan as they are totally ancient and haven't changed in 350 million years, and their method of flight is beautiful.  Also, they are totally uninterested in my blood, unlike the biggest killer on the planet. This little gal got some of my blood, but paid the ultimate price. 



In other big local news...we're getting a new Family Mart.  The one a block and a half away is closing and a new one is opening up only a block away.

This is the view from the corner of our apartment and you can see the new sign at the end of the street.
So excited...it's gonna have food, an ATM and toilets.  To be fair, they all do and the fact that there are open public toilets everywhere should be high on those lists of things Taiwan does better than anyone else.  The food that is in all of them however is an abomination.  Have detailed it before, but the smell in all of the convenience stores here is uniformly awful
Yesterday was moving day...moving the stock up the alley to the new one...
From the old one.

They seem to do the moving of these stores from one location to another a short distance away a lot.  It's probably due to them wanting to get a slighltly better location with more traffic, but I suspect that after a certain amount of time, the build-up of oil from the nasty food bins gets so thick that it becomes impossible to clean and the place is in danger of spontaneous combustion

Finally in local news, the new President, Tsai Ing-Wen, was sworn in last Friday.  All of her public statements are well thought out, deeply veiled acknowledgement that it will not be business as usual with China, and the Chinese have responded predictably with not so well disguised threats.  Their hopes of reuniting with Taiwan in a One Country/Two Systems arrangement is dead.  As the mainlands economy evolves from heavily subsidized manufacturing to consumer based, Taiwan had better hope it goes well, otherwise, they are gonna need a distraction from their unhappy populace.  Nothing distracts the people like a good military intervention.

The kids and I head out in a week and as the good Virgo that I am, am feverishly getting ready.  I already have my clothes put aside...one of the yearly routines is to look for clothes that are on their last leg so as to abandon them at the end of summer to save room for the new stuff we need to buy.  In looking at the t-shirt pile, there were some old friends that were so worn that I had to say good-bye to.  These are all from the 90's and wore them sparingly for decades, but when walking around here, need to wear light colors so as to no absorb so much heat.  My white tees have therefore taken a beating.

First is the commemorative t-shirt they gave away on Santa Anita Derby day in 1998.  Pit stains, and holes make this one too disgusting to even wear to bed.  Loved this one as the cartoons of the horses were so well done. 




Plus, Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Real Quiet was on the back (he finished second to Indian Charlie thist day).  I bet on Classic Cat cause I thought his karate ghi was the coolest...he  came in fifth.. 
Also said goodbye to this Nordstrom shirt they gave us on the 100th anniversary celebration.  Can barely see the logo anymore and it had a softball sized hole in the armpit.  I was only 6 months into my career at Nordstrom at the time, and they asked if I would give a short testimonial on what the company meant to me at the big celebration, which had something like 4000 people at the convention center.  Think I did OK and included a crack aimed at the Nordy boys about how I wasn't tall and Sweedish, but still felt like a shoe dog.  I never did learn why they asked someone with so little time at the company to do so, but was still a good memory and am sad to lose this piece of personal history.
And most regrettably, had to get rid of this gem.  It has been worn so many times that it is thin to be transparent.  You can see my areolas.   Bought this on our honeymoon in Paris in 1994.  We were taking a self guided walking tour on Ile St Louis and it said to stop for a gelato at Berthillion.  If I close my eyes, can almost taste that great ice cream and feel the warmth of the sun on an idyllic day strolling with my lovely bride.. 
This is likely the last installment before the summer break.  It's gonna be a good one this year and am looking forward to seeing friends and family in DC, Baltimore, California, Portland and Seattle, as well as seeing some new things.  Have driven through Philly but have never walked around and budgeted a couple days there.  We're also gonna see Denver and drive through Utah, seeing some national parks and Salt Lake City before driving through Nevada to see my mom in SF.  Good times and hope to share them with you in the Fall.  Stay cool.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

May 14th, 2016

White people...

I did not win the election for school board this year.  In the post game analysis, I did receive over 90% of the white vote (and 100% of the white non-evangelical constituents).  You'd think that would be good, but with only 10% of the school population being white (and by white, in this case I mean people that have spent more than 5 years living in the west.  Betty gets to check that box on her application) that was not good enough.  I definitely needed to adjust my message to the Chinese audience, but could not in good conscience do so.  Their loss.   

It's that time of year to look around and see who isn't going to be here when we return in the Fall.  Feels like half of the expats we have come to appreciate are bugging out.  Last year was tough as I lost three quality drinking buddies.  Not losing those per se, but a huge layer of the ladies that I enjoy are heading back to the states.  Don't have any hard data, but anecdotally, seems that companies are scaling back on their expat programs.  Have heard it a dozen times recently that a person wants to stay but that their employers are utilizing local employees to fill the spots that the expats used to hold.  There will always be the diplomat families (who are aggravating to talk to as they will never comment on anything sparking of controversy), but am starting to miss the computer company families already. 

Here is something I don't understand...why do we give a shit about coal miner jobs?  Was sitting here last week, happily watching Ted Cruz get whipped in Indiana and bow out of the race.  His speech was filled with nods to God and the gospel.  Such an icky dude and was by far the worst option.  You know who didn't mention God once in their speech tonight?  Donny T.  Gotta love that about the guy, but he kept going on about getting coal miners back their jobs.  Why are we so concerned about an industry that will soon be on the scrapheap of history?  Did we squash the telegraph to save the Pony Express industry?  I get that it's part of the climate denier thing, but the majority think there is something to it and if you live in a place where you can't see the sky and your kids can't play outside cause of all the smoke from the coal fired plants, you understand that it is an inefficient and deadly fuel source.  Saw a letter on some papers site by a person that said well what I have been saying forever.  To paraphrase...if you are wrong and climate change is due to humans, then we are gonna see disaster that you can't imagine.  If I am wrong and it isn't caused by humans, then we have more efficient energy and cleaner air...probably with huge new industries and jobs created.  Whoever said being a coal miner was a great job anyway.  You work underground, likely get an awful disease and probably go to work thinking that you'll get buried alive. 

Anyhoo, gonna be a fun summer listening to people tie themselves up in knots trying to rationalize voting for Trump. 

Picked up Baby Doll the other day and she is carrying these...

"Where'd ya get those" I ask.  The boy she likes gave them to her and asked her to be his girlfriend.  She seemed fairly pleased about it and I follow up by asking 'what does that mean exactly'.  She laughed while she said she didn't know.  The kid seems harmless enough but can't say that I like this one bit.

Heard this piece of info the other day...the reason that there is such a large gay community in San Francisco is that in the 1940's, if you were found to be gay in the military, they would discharge you at whatever port was the next stop.  One of the biggest in those days was SF and so there was a  concentration there that found a liberal and welcoming community for them.  Did some research and while there were other contributing factors, that is sited as one of the most prevalent.  Found it interesting and thought I'd pass along.

Another fact I heard, that is far less interesting to most, is that Japanese pitchers that come to the States to pitch usually wear #18.  Turns out that the ace in Japanese staffs wear that number as the greatest pitcher in early Japanese baseball history wore it, so it is a number of honor and signifies you are the best on your team. 

Speaking of baseball, have been flat out working on our summer plans, which is why I have not had time to devote to this space.   I know it sounds like fun, and it is, but a lot of time goes into setting up two months on the road.  Accommodations aren't cheap and fortunately, Betty is a rabid hotel points hoarder and has rewards at 7 different chains.  Finding the hotel in the right part of town while comparing the amount of points to be deducted so that it is a good deal is an art form.  This has always been her domain but am working on it and the sense of satisfaction when you can find a smokin' deal is great.  The goal is to not spend a dime on accommodations...will probably have to buy a couple nights here and there, but think it's going to be close.

May go more into the itinerary plans later probably, but the best part about planning it is to figure out how to get to the most baseball games and stadiums.  Looks like it'll be 8 this year with me seeing one or more home games at the Nationals, Phillies, Orioles, Rockies, Giants, A's, Dodgers and Mariners, with the Philadelphia and Colorado stadiums being new ones for me.  I love baseball.

The new Taiwanese President takes office next week...I've said before that she seems to good to be true and have high hopes, but a lot is stacked against her.  Internally, while there was an 8 year stretch where her party (DDP) won the presidency, the legislature has been controlled by the KMT continuously since 1949.  While the DDP did win the legislature this time, the levers of power in the rank and file are all still KMT appointed.  There will be some residual foot dragging to be sure. 

It is the external pressure from China that is the big worry.  When the KMT guy came in 8 years ago, he pivoted the economy to do more business with China.  The thought was that it would bring more prosperity to the island.  It did, for the ultra rich, but the people on the street saw little to no benefit.  So now that the DDP, who are decidedly not pro-China, is coming to power, China is turning off the tap to Taiwan.  From little things like restricting tourists from visiting (a large source of income), to middle things like pressuring countries to renounce recognition of Taiwan, to big militarily threatening things, China is playing the bully..  Who thought that tying your economy to the country that has pledged to reincorporate you, by force if necessary, was a good idea?  These old Conservative KMT jokers apparently.  As their economy sputters, the geopolitical fear is that China  will lash out somewhere to take the proletariats mind off of eating something disgusting (which begs the question....what would be a disgusting thing for Chinese to eat?)  When dealing with China on the macro level, and I refer to it in the micro level as well, there is an old Chinese adage that should inform ones decision.  I can't remember it exactly, but it goes something like...poke a haystack with a pitchfork, if you meet no resistance, proceed.  If you meet with steel, retreat.  These guys will never fight against a determined foe, but if you let them, they will creep forward forever. 

Earthquakes galore the last few weeks.  Three over 5.0 in the last couple of days alone.  No one freaks out, but still, it freaks you out.

We bug outta here on June 5th and will try to post one more time before then.  If not, hope to see you somewhere along the road soon.