Monday, August 24, 2015

August 23rd, 2015

In my fervor, forgot to finish the sunny/yang side to TW traffic last week, and that is the infrequency of accidents.  I saw a ton of rear-enders this summer, especially in Seattle and have to think that it is due to people losing focus due to their phones.  What happens on the roads here is so intense, that if you take your eyes off of what is in front of you for a split second, you are bound to hit a car veering in front of you, or a scooter that came out of your blind spot.  So, cheers to Taiwan.  I just started reading a book called 'Traffic' by Tom Vanderbilt, and it is about the psychology of the road and best practices.  I understand that this diary feels like a driving blog many times, but a couple of chapters in and have been both justified and called out as a hypocrite.  More to come...

On our way to the States this summer, took the opportunity to make a 6 day layover in Japan.  We decided to check out some towns on the island of Hokkaido on the northern end of the country.  The main town there is Sapporo, famous for its beer, 1972 Winter Olympics, and the Nippon Ham Fighters baseball team.

Sapporo is a decent sized town framed by mountains, was mercifully cool, and is very walkable. 
 The above was taken from the TV Tower that dominates the skyline. 
 Only Carolyn and I went up while Paul and Betty waited below.  What the hell is Paul doing with his legs?
 This was the day we devoted to walking around the town and we stumbled upon a fair that ran in the park that cuts through the town.

This festival celebrates the dance and food from across the country.  We were far more interested in the food, and it ranged from good, to crazy to crazy good.





Was not surprised that the efficient Japanese recycle, but they had stations with wranglers to ensure that everyone recycled properly.  Love that about them.
 
 What we were surprised by was the size of the crows.  Never got a clean shot of them, but they were gigantic and bold.  A good 1/3 bigger than any I have ever seen.  While we were enjoying a bacon wrapped asparagus skewer in a tent, one came in and grabbed the whole thing and flew away.  This is seriously a thing.
On a free afternoon, we decided to check out the Shiroi Kobito cookie factory, a European style confectioner, they had an hourly show on the grounds with bubbles and animatronic dancing chef's...a combination of Disneyland and  Duff Gardens (that is a 12 minute version of the Duff Beer song...very raga). 
 
The factory floor was mesmerizing...could have watched it for hours. 

 Their cookies were truly amazing, but with a name like shrioi kobito, which means "white lover" in Japanese, that was no surprise.

Our summer tour of baseball parks also started here with a visit to the Sapporo Dome for a Yomiuri Giant v Nippon Ham Fighter game.  Our favorite Ham Fighter was Soh Nagata.  Whenever he would do something, make a play, strike out, etc., our gag was that it was Soooo Nagata.  We're idiots.

 Domes are certainly useful, but they all feel cold and impersonal.  Spicing it up with mascots helped create a fun atmosphere. 
Now that Jon Stewart's version of the Daily Show is no more, John Oliver's 'Last Week Tonight' is must see TV...check out this clip about Japanese mascots and tell me I'm wrong.

Usually ahead of the trends, Japanese stadiums are woefully behind in offering gourmet artisan food options at the park.

 I'd say that they looked like Japanese penis', but have no idea what they look like as they always tile those out...
 One day, we hopped on the train to Otaru to visit the Nikka Whisky Distillery. 
 While the Sapporo Beer factory is more famous, daddy likes his whiskey, and since he sets the itinerary...

A great choice.  Established with loving care in 1934 after a local learned the skill from Scottish craftsmen, Nikka Distilling makes theirs in that style...smoking the malt with peat, etc. 

A brilliant tour and day.
 
 There are lots of things to love about Japan...Monet was inspired by their water lilies and bridges.
 How about the freaking Haiku!  This isn't one, but this poem struck me in a very emotional way.
 I know they take a lot of crap for not fully apologizing for, you know, WWII and all the rape and torture and stuff, but in their defense, they take an existing product and make it awesome better than anyone.  Check out this item at the breakfast table...a combo butter and jam packet where you simply split it in the middle and squeeze both simultaneously onto your toast.  All is forgiven.


Japan also holds the world record for many cool things.  Girls dressed up like cartoon characters...

 Random sandwich boards for photo-ops...

 And hilarious signs.
Good thing this is only from the waist up.
 God "Save" The Queen?
 Dropping bags on heads seems to be a scourge...
 This poor guys bowels discharged after such an incident.
All in all, we were quite happy to have visited this fine town.
 

Sunday, August 16, 2015

August 16th, 2015

Mentioned that the kids started school on Thursday.  On Friday, the boy came home with this pile of books.
Damn...sorry kid.

Took a class on coaching some years ago, and one of the lessons was to deliver criticism in the form of a sandwich.  Two positive comments on the outside as bread with the thing to work on in the middle as the filling.  Not sure if it was them, me, or the music critic that famously reviewed the Spinal Tap album 'Shark Sandwich" as a "Shit Sandwich", but there you have it.  I know that I get down on Taiwan sometimes and feel like I'm only complaining and want to temper it a bit, but two to one seems unreasonable.  Am therefore going to try the Eastern approach of yin (shady side) and yang (sunny side).

Yin...the requirement that people wear swim caps in the pool.  Have railed on this one before, probably multiple times, but have to bring it up again as there have been new conflicts.  There is a pool in our apartment that they open for only two months (July and August).  As we're gone for most of it, try to utilize it for the two weeks we can.

The place has lifeguards on duty and for the last two years, there has been no issue.  Went down a couple times this year and the younger dude was cool, but the last two afternoons, this older guy was manning the pool, and he is adamant about the use of the swim cap.  While the requirement is fucking ridiculous (Taiwan being the only country in the gawdamn world that does this), I will abide reluctantly in a public pool situation and don the cap.  The more enlightened folks that run the pools at the American Club and Taipei American School, don't require them, and think that a private pool like ours should mirror that freedom.  I have asked locals for years why they do this and never get a satisfactory answer.  The only thing they point to is that hair clogs the drain.  Granted, Chinese hair falls out in clumps like they are on heavy doses of chemo, or that guy from High School with the wispy fine hair that could be shaped into the awesome Shawn Cassidy flip style once he got into his 20's, but isn't that why God made filters?  But they messianically worry about some hair follicles when tons of debris blows into the pool, or people are peeing in it constantly?  And have you seen my back (and front and ears and...) lately?  More hair back there than on a lot of peoples heads and am sure that stuff falls off in equal proportions. 

Anyway, have refused to wear it, and the old dude is flipping out.  He is yelling at me in Chinese and I am doing the same back at him in English...neither of us know what the other one is saying yet we totally understand one another.  I am drawing the line in the water on this issue here, so we will see how it plays out.  Wish me luck on my quest to change a society and to all of you future pool goers, you're welcome.

On the Sunny Yang side, due to seeing how people in the States are with fresh eyes over the summer, I came around a bit on the Taiwan style of driving.  They still do the most heinous of maneuvers, like flying through intersections with pedestrians/bikes in the middle of them, or turning left across multiple lanes of traffic to either sneak in front of a line of cars or make up for spacing out and being in the wrong place.  But...traffic moves here.  In the States, and especially in Seattle, things have ground to a halt.  I have three major complaints.

One, the deference to pedestrians has gotten out of control.  Walking is my only form of exercise so am out there and I get that supreme caution should be exercised, but Seattle has become a place where people will slam on the breaks if they perceive that  anyone on foot even near an intersection may be crossing in the future.  Everyone needs to take their turn and it has swung so far to the pedestrian not only having the right of way, but being treated as if they were a diety.

Similarly and secondly, bikes have become the pre-eminent force on the roads.  Again, am totally in favor of more people cycling, that they have their place and rights as much as anyone, but it has swung way too far too fast.  The amount of car lanes that have been taken away in favor of bike only lanes has been increasing each year exponentially.  I know the mayor of Seattle is a bike guy and has made it a super friendly place for them, but this is a trend that is sweeping the nation (LA just announced they are adding thousands of miles of this type of lane, taking major avenues like Sunset down to one lane for cars for instance).  I am even OK with that...I think the push to make cities more like Copenhagen is a worthy endeavor although feel it is being shoe horned in too quickly and in places that aren't compatible for such a rapid change.  Plus, Europe is far more progressive in their attitudes towards these kinds of social experiments...would prefer to see America deal with our guns and health care more progressively first.  You'd think that Seattle cyclists would be happy with all of this, yet the more dedicated enthusiasts feel the need to organize what I think they call "bike nights".  In theory, these should be positive events...gathering a group of people to all ride their bikes together in the evening to a destination, like an art gallery tour, park, etc...very family oriented  However, I read about the more aggressive ones, where a pack of bike riders will gather and ride slowly through the most congested parts of downtown during rush hour.  Was lucky enough to get stuck behind one of these gatherings...6pm on a Thursday night right through downtown...purposely going slow.  To add to their "message", many of them accessorize their rides.  Check out this tool with the blow up doll in the child carrier.
I like to consider myself a political independent...will lean towards being socially liberal and conservative fiscally.  My freaking blood boils at the extremists...for my liberal friends that get apoplectic with the gun nuts or Tea Partay-ers, this is the kind of shit that completely negates all of your arguments and why half of the country thinks Trump has some good ideas.  Knock it off.  Please...advocate for a more friendly bike environment.  Encourage your neighbor to join you for a ride or to vote for more areas of safe passage.  But by pissing off the majority of the population, especially after a day of hard work when they are at their most vulnerable does not make you Rosa Parks.  And how about that ambulance or fire truck that gets delayed in the traffic jam you helped create?  Fuck you guys. 

And this leads me to bitch number three...public displays of self-righteous behavior.  Stopped counting how many times I saw people take the slightest affront to etiquette with a rage bordering on violence.  Examples...the guy standing on the side of the road yelling at me, going less than the speed limit mind you, to slow down.  I was completely motionless at a stop sign but was a little bit past it as I couldn't see the cars coming from the left due to obstructions.  This butt hole slows down, lays on the horn like he passed out on it and starts freaking out.  I am just sitting there dumbfounded.  My favorite was on the path around Green Lake.  For non-Seattle types, there is a lake in town where the 3 mile trail around it is a popular place to walk/run/bike.  Had the chance to walk it a couple times this summer, and the path is broken into two...the inside track is for walkers/runners while the outside is for bikes/skaters.

Quick side note, there is no "correct" direction advocated at Green Lake with arrows in each lane pointing both directions.  It is as much a social experience as it is an athletic one, and that it is a big circle and not a track, I understand that the etiquette is different than it should be on a normal track, where you are supposed to go around it counter-clockwise.  People going clockwise on a track always bugs me, and have to add another reason why.  When people are coming at you in the wrong direction, their personal funk hits you in the face.  I didn't notice it as much when it is only one dope going 'round the wrong way, but when half of the people are coming at you, you tend to notice their particular odors much more.

So...am walking on Green Lake one afternoon, counter-clockwise of course, the Virgo in me would have it no other way, and there are two girls in front of me walking at around the same speed, and in front of them is another couple walking a bit slower.  To get around the slower folks, the girls move out into the bike/skate path to get around them.  At just that moment, self righteous bike guy comes sailing past and yells at the girls.  If that weren't enough, he goes up a bit and points down to the line dividing the foot and wheeled traffic and then (!) points to one of the signs that explains the path that they have erected around the lake.  So much effort displayed with his outrage.  The dude was going quite fast, and the fact that the lake path for bikes is designed to be done leisurely and is not a velodrome (signs also say that too) was totally lost on him. 

And before you get all..."you are one of the most self-righteous people I know"...I will admit to it.  I think, actually I know, we all are to some extent, but I have comfort in knowing that I am self aware and temper those feelings with ones of empathy.  Maybe it was there all along, but watching the States from afar and being immersed in it in smaller doses, feel like we are tilting away from trying to understand the other persons motives/situations first and becoming instantly indignant and taking a simple misunderstanding or less as a personal attack.

What was I talking about?  Oh yeah...sanctimonious behavior is just about nil in Taiwan when it should be off the charts.  Dicks are gonna be dicks, and maybe the lack of irritation to such behavior has codified it into being the norm, but think I like it better than the disdain.  I do know this, if the 28 million Taiwanese were magically transported to the States, there amount of homicides due to road rage would go up by 28 million

I meant to write about our week in Hokkaido, Japan this morning, but time flies when you're having fun.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

August 13th, 2015

Hey there.  Long time no chat.  We are starting our fourth year in Taiwan and am gonna try to keep this diary going.  Will get into some of the funnier moments from our visit to the States later, but getting back to TW is a busy time and need to upload and sort through photos, overcome the nastier effects of jet lag, get the kids (grades 11 & 7) ready for school,

and this year, do some clean-up from the typhoon.  The kids and I missed it by a day, but it was a whopper.  The biggest in most people's memories.  Even though we are on the 16th floor, we had some pretty serious flooding in our apartment as the drain on our balcony must have clogged, and it overflowed through the doors (that weren't watertight) and into the apartment.  Betty and her mom were here and had to deal with it.  She was messaging me with pictures and pleas for help.  I will admit that I was not unhappy that I didn't have to deal and might have even muttered a "haw haw" to myself.  Must say that they did an awesome job as it was hard to tell that the place had a 1/2 inch of water in it, not much of a smell and pretty dry.  And Betty's mom is 80 so know it was hard on her poor body...sure wouldn't want my mom to have to work that hard.  Am worried about our Turkish rug and some of the wooden floors, but otherwise, not bad.

The same can't be said for the flora around town.  Trees of all sizes went down everywhere...quite astonishing at the number of them.  The sound of chainsaws has been constant all day.  Have to give the country kudos for weathering it so well.  A similar strength storm in the Philippines would have (and has) leveled towns and killed hundreds.  I read that only 6 died, and while power went out for millions during the storm, within 24 hours, power had been restored to all but a quarter million people.  The infrastructure here is damn good.  

But my thought for today is to relate just how pissed off I am at this country.  Not for the reasons that you would expect from me however.  Yes, the drivers are still complete butt holes, but I might be coming around in my opinion of them after watching my people's behavior this summer (more to come on that).  And I wasn't angry at the Costco yesterday watching how many people are so out of it when they are in a public space.  There was this guy at the exit yesterday and he was standing there in the middle of the lane with his cart perpendicular to the flow of traffic so only one cart could get by.  I watched as a handful of people slowly eased past him to the receipt checkers before I rammed his cart out of the way.  Tried not to be an asshole about it and did my best Rick Perry "Ooops" impression, but he got the message.  I'm not even pissed at how merciless the heat is.  That's not entirely true as this freaking heat and humidity cannot be understood unless you're in it for weeks on end without relief.  Was at a baseball game in DC on a hot and humid day for them, and everyone was bitching about it.  Paul and I were laughing at what pussies they were, but I suspect that the locals think the same of me as I bitch my way through the day. 

What pissed me off was the new street signs.  Have related at how most signs are in both Chinese and western lettering, but that the interpretation as to how to translate from characters to letters has changed over time and that the same words are spelled in almost comically different ways.  I'm walking down the street yesterday and notice a sign that looks new.

You can tell from the above that the one on the left looks weather beaten and the one on the right is nice and clean.  Here is a close-up of the one on the left...
De Xing is a fairly major street and have never seen it spelled any other way...until yesterday.
Even Weinerschnitzel got rid of the "Der" years ago.  I understand that there are names that are pronounced in a way that isn't intuitive.  Leicester Square and Cahuenga Blvd. should be spelled Lester and Coeanga respectively, but we don't go changing them with every new administration.  When I was learning to drive, I circled around for a couple hours looking for Coeanga to meet some friends and ended up driving home cause I couldn't find it.  But when you putt up two signs like this right next to each other, you have to think they are definitely trying to mess with the foreigners. 

Alrighty...that's all I have time for today.  I promise to post more when I can.


Saturday, May 30, 2015

May 30th, 2015

The 90's was a great decade for t-shirts. It's Spring cleaning time and felt the need to do some wardrobe culling.  Had to say goodbye to a few that had gone from prized formal wear, to baseball practice phenoms, to pajamas.  Noticed that they all came to me during the Clinton administration and have been stalwarts of the shirt drawer for 20 years.  RIP my friends.



Perhaps ditching this Clips shirt will finally change their luck.

The Plum rains arrived in Taiwan this week.  That means that it'll be raining more on than off for a few weeks.  My favorite quote from that Wikipedia entry is, "The high humidity in the air during this season encourages the formation of mold and rot not only on food but on fabrics as well."  Ahhhh.  Add that to the increasing heat, and one is reminded of the first Naked Gun movie...Jane breaks into Franks house to cook dinner.  She is boiling a roast and seductively asks Frank how hot and wet he likes it.  Frank replies, "very hot...and awfully wet."

How hot is it?  It was so hot today, I saw the Mormons handing out pamphlets with their tie knots loosened.  The other day, the boy told me he was going over to a friends house and wouldn't be home for dinner.  When he got home, asked what he ate and said that they made burgers...regular ones and black bean burgers.  He chose the black bean ones and that they were really good.  Told him to get me an invite as I love a good black bean burger and would love to get their recipe.  He said that I probably wouldn't want to go as the family is Mormon and that they tried to sell him on the church...even gave him his own Book of Mormon.  Luckily, he has been taught to be wary of religion, but he is still polite about it, played along and got himself a black bean burger.  

Read an article that was something about 10 ways a woman knows she has been married a long time.  Can't find it and don't remember much except for one of them...In a dark room, you are able to identify your husband just by the sound of his farts. 

Mad Max Fury Road is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen.

Thought I'd take a few minutes to introduce you to some of my friends at the Shi Dong Market.  A couple of blocks from the apartment, the Shi Dong is an indoor farmer's market that sells all kinds of food items. 

I'm there daily grabbing something...with the weather rotting food so quickly, you have to buy fresh. This is the place that sells rice and legumes.
Relatively new, this is the dim sum vendor and one can get some cha sau bao (bbq pork buns) and lou bo gao (turnip cakes).
In between the rice and dim sum stalls is my favorite coffee guy.  He takes a lot of pride in his beans, knows just how much cinnamon I like in my cappuccino, and his price for one is 75 cents cheaper than the Japanese place across the street and $1.50 less than Starbucks

The fruit lady...she'll carve us up pineapple and/or mangoes, which the family likes for breakfast.
And this is the veggie stand.  Unfortunately, can only identify about half of their offerings, but they have asparagus, carrots, etc.
And if the above stand is out of something or their supply looks wilted, will take my biz to this place.  Not as big a selection, but their stuff is typically very good and their English is excellent...they always try to flag me down.
The smoothie shack...their English is not so good, but they make a damn fine 5 veggie smoothie.
It's not all good though.  Next to the veggie stand is what I think is the hot pot shack.  People love this stuff , I've eaten it a lot, but just don't get the attraction. 


The chicken part stall.  A far cry from the way I grew up buying chicken at the Sierra Madre Albertsons. 
But the place that I see in my nightmares is the animal part stall.   The tongues and hearts are easy to identify, but the fun is trying to guess the other parts.  Pretty sure that pancreas, lung and penis are featured.  It smells just as you'd think it would.




Likely the last installment until August.  School ends next week and we hit the road...coming to a town near you.  You know I hate the humblebrag, so will just brag as to how awesome our schedule looks.

June 8 - 13 - Head to the Japanese island of Hokaido.  In the north, see the coastal town of Otaru and the famous Nikka whisky distillery, a couple/three days exploring Sapporo (beer and baseball for sure), and then two nights in hot spring area called Noboribetsu. 

6/13-24 - SF.  Taking mom to Vegas for a couple nights, seeing some old friends and eating spicy Korean chicken

6/24 - 7/1 - LA.  Staying in Venice, seeing my oldest friends and eating burritos in Arcadia, and catching a Padre/Mariner game in SD

7/1-7/5 - Seattle...popping in for a few days before we head east

7/5 - 7/19 - NYC to DC - The Paul College tour kicks into high gear, but we are catching home games at the Yankees, Pirates and Nats along the way.  Betty joins the fun on the 10th and it will be a college reunion tour for us. 

7/19 - 8/9 - Seattle time.  Hoping our friends still remember and have time for us.  On the night of July 24th, there is a huge blowout at the Orient Express in SODO.  Everyone is invited and please message me for details.

Have a bitchin' summer.