I love when something funny happens that reminds of something else funny from the past...sorta like a smell or taste will transport you back in time. This week while trolling the NFL injury reports on-line, a Baltimore Ravens football player is listed as being questionable to play this Sunday as he was hit over the head with a bottle by an angry stripper named Sweat Pea. This information triggered my brain to recover a file from Freshman year of college when I was part of the American University meal plan. Terrible food, we would steal giant ziplock bags full of Cap'n Crunch and eat that for dinner, then went off of the plan altogether after one semester and lived off of 39 cent chicken pot pies from the A&P and happy hour specials for the next few years. But during that one semester, there was a server whose name tag read "Sweet Thing". She was a large lady, with a little tiny baby mustache, that worked over a line of greasy hot serving trays. Her nickname quickly became "Sweat Thing". I can visualize like it happened 5 minutes ago my friend Katie putting her tray down on the table and declaring, "just got my burger from Sweat Thang."
Our Chinese class this year has moved from a structured vocabulary/grammar based curriculum to a "conversation" class. We communally decide what we want to talk about then write dialogue about it learning the vocabulary to go along with it. Things like making reservations, ordering food, going to the market, etc. We got into making a reservation at a hot spring (of which there are many in these parts), which naturally led to discussion of the weird things people do. I mentioned our experience in Korea over the summer where we went to the foot flesh eating fish exfoliation place, which was met with equal parts knowing nods and disgust, and then was one-upped by the teacher who described the new thing in Japan. Whenever someone uses the term "new thing in Japan", you know it is going to be either robot related, or something extremely twisted and perverted. Or sometimes both. I give you, Japanese Snail Beauty Treatment. Very restorative and moisturizing. The snails are fed a diet of organic vegetables and they are kept at a constant 20 degree C (68 Fahrenheit) temperature. I'd be game to give it a try if it weren't for the fact that one treatment costs a whopping $350 and probably won't try it as DIY. And is it wrong that I felt a little turned when watching that video?
Had a chance to go to the kids school where the high school counselors put on a morning coffee discussion for the parents about keeping your high school student healthy and happy. They led off with this quote...
“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”
Sounds like some parents I know, but was uttered by Socrates. This meeting was mostly about not overloading your kid with activities and making sure they get enough sleep...obviously a Chinese high school as they have to remind the parents not to burn their kids out with tutors and violin lessons, etc. If it was a US high school, we'd hear more about how to keep your kids away from drugs and the day care center they offer at school to help keep the teen moms coming. Towards the end, we broke into parent discussion groups by table and they gave us some questions to help spur on our conversations. Can't really remember the questions exactly, but one of them sparked one of the moms to declare that at home, she is always the bad guy to the kids. They are always mad at Mom for telling them what to do, being mean to them, etc., you know the story. Then another mom says the same thing goes on at her house and that the dad is always the good guy. A third mom agrees with the first two and says that her kids think she is a real Bee-atch. I could not resist and then say to the table, "You know why that is?" paused for a couple of beats to build the mood..."Cause it's true." After a couple seconds of silence, got the awkward laughter I was looking for, but know I didn't make any new friends that day. Actually, probably made one as the other dude at the table secretly gave me the raised eyebrow/head nod.
Went to my first foot massage last night. Was driving Betty home from the airport and said she "needed" a foot massage. Since the kids were all taken care of for the night, thought it would be an opportune chance to try one. Am not a massage lover...always find myself more tight and in pain the next day. My feet don't typically hurt, even though I've had major foot surgery (triple arthrodesis), but thought it might be a good time since I like the little massage they give when you get a foot pedicure (the best...fellas, do yourself a favor and try it if you haven't) and that everyone raves about them.
We went to Betty's joint around the corner (another great thing about living in a dense urban setting...$20 hour long foot massages a five minute walk from home). Nice place, clean and well appointed. Soaked the feet for a few minutes in some fragrant water while they do a short neck massage, then a half an hour on each foot. The masseuses had never had a patron bring a beer along to enjoy during the chirapsia (deep cut word from the synonym dictionary), so we all had a first that night. Once my lady started working on my ankle, she asked Betty what happened to my foot as she could feel the metal screws from the surgery mentioned above (gross for her). What was even grosser for her was after the foot massage when they were asking if we wanted to do a full body one. They were talking to Betty as they had as much English knowledge as I do Chinese, but I can do a good job of catching the drift if the context is clear. Betty says no and then they look at me...Betty says something else to them and the lady gives the look of revulsion that is crystal clear in any language. Once we're outside the door, Betty relates the above and says that when they asked if I wanted a massage, she said no because I have a very hairy body/back. Being less evolved is both a gift and a curse.
The foot massage itself felt OK. I didn't get the endorphin rush that I was expecting after listening to everyone that loves them, which was disappointing. My feet didn't feel much (any) better afterwards and the parts that were painful going in, feel even more so this morning. As we're chatting this morning, Betty just cannot understand, almost to the point of disgust, as to why I didn't love it nor why I don't want to go back. I just had a similar conversation with my buddy John about going into a football betting pool with him. He was getting mad, even insulting me, saying it's just a few bucks and it's so fun.
Why do people insist you love something they love? If you say no, or that you hate something without ever trying it, well shame on you, but when multiple people whose opinion you respect recommend something, I think you should be obligated to try it with an open miind and not say "no" just to be a contrarian.
That said, I do respect the position where a person has one thing that everyone in the world adores, but you have never tried just on principle, such as watching the Godfather or eating Thai food.
However, if your friend does try Thai food, foot massage, etc. and doesn't love it as much as you, then just let it go please. I know I am guilty of such behavior. With age comes maturity and a better understanding of people along with it, so to those where I have insulted you for not loving something (that you really should love) as much as I do (3 page laminated list available on request), I apologise.
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