January 26th, 2016

What's goin' on around here.  First, we've had the coldest snap of weather in the 4 years that we've been in town and the lowest temps here in 16 years.  How cold was it?  It got into the 30's for a few hours and there was a light dusting of snow on the mountain near our place.  Also was the first time that I saw the temperature lower here than in Seattle.  It was so cold that the Boy chose to wear long pants to school for the first time in 4 winters and took shit about it from his buddies.  Saw a report that 57 people died, mainly due to there not being central heating in most homes and that elderly folks are not prepared for the sudden snap.  I love it of course as I get to break out many of my jackets (which all seem to have a light moldy smell, but now can get them all cleaned up) and am able to sleep in a bit.  Got up at 7am the last two days, which is almost unheard of.  Usually am rousted around 5:30 in a pool of sweat.

The fallout from the election has been pretty muted for the most part.  Both the dude from the death metal band and the lady that took off her blouse both one seats in the government but sadly, the pigeon racing party got blanked.  China is being their usually bully self by ripping a page out of the old Stalinist propaganda machine's playbook with thinly veiled threats of military action should TW make any moves towards independence and a trolling campaign on the internet with mindless attacks on the Taiwanese renegades (Stalin would have both loved and loathed the internet).  The biggest story on election day was the forced apology that the mainland made the only Taiwanese member of the all-girl Korean pop band 'Twice' make after she dared wave a Taiwanese flag in concert  That they (by they I mean China and her band's management that was afraid of losing their mainland customers) made this teeny bopper give such an obviosly stilted and insincere apology fired up the pro-independence base to give that party not only the presidency, but their first majority in the legislature.  This band is total bubble gum and that they would even acknowledge their existence, let alone make it a huge deal, shows their colors as inept political strongmen.

I am really trying to understand why anyone would be pro-reunification with China at this point and all I am getting is that it is due to some nostalgia the old timers have towards the home they were "forced" to flee by the same government that is still in power.  While the underlying backstories are markedly different, the analogy to the DDP being the liberal Democrats and the KMT being the staunch conservatives seems solid.  Having been driven hard away from the Eisenhower conservative tradition that I grew up in towards the Clinton/Obama pragmatism by the lunacy of the evangelical right, not a surprise that the DDP is more attractive, to me but I am really trying to get a grasp as to what is fueling the conservative side here.  Unsurprisingly, feels like it's a money thing.

Finally, was able to snap a photo of Baby Doll wearing her fake glasses.  For posterity...

When we last left the travelogue, we were in the airport heading to Morocco.  The first thing to mention about the place is that it is on the African continent and setting foot there for the first time marked the completion of the personal achievement to visit every habitable continent on the planet.  Not even 50 additional pages in her passport, travel 200+ days a year Betty can say that (and I know it is killing her)  I have lived for extensive periods in North and South America, Australia and Asia, and have visited a good portion of Europe, so when the time comes to discuss and debate politics and world events, please assume that I know my shit from experience and that I am right.  I could agree with you and your natavistic take on whatever, but then we'd both be wrong.

I read that last line on a site dedicated to paraprosdokians, which is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.  Here is a short list...I've been saying #3 and #15 for years and expect me to be mixing in many of these going forward.

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
   
   

   Courtesy of Toothpaste for dinner
5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
7. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
8. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
9. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
10. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
11. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
12. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
13. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
15. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
16. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
17. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
18. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
19. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
20. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
21. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
22. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
23. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
24. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
25. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
26. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
27. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
28. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
29. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
31. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
32. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
33. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
34. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
35. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
36. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
37. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

Learned that term in an article about How Wile E. Coyote explains the world.  It is a long one, but if you love the Looney Tunes half as much as I do, it is worth the deep dive.

We arrived Marrakech midday and then hired a guide to show us around the next day.  Marrakech is a city of about a million people, but the Medina is the place to see.  A medina is the old walled part of a North Afican town and the one in Marrakech dates back to the 12th century and currently has about 250k residents. 

While there are traditional hotels outside of the medina, when inside the walls of the medina in Marrakech (as in most older places in Morocco), the thing to do is to book rooms in a riad.  A riad is a traditional house with an inner courtyard, and they are all privately owned.  Our riad was owned by a father and son who had both lived in the states, so they were great hosts for our first stop as they could explain things to us easily.  The son even walked us from our place to the main square when we arrived, which was critical as the streets are literal mazes of small alley ways.  There are no cars allowed in the medina as the alleys are only wide enough for two people to walk side by side.  We tooled around the square and alleys that first afternoon to get a feel for the place.    In the main square, Jemaa el-Fnaa, was the sight that one most expects to see in town.,.the snake charmers.

The snakes seemed like they were doped up and didn't get the same feel that I remember from Johnny Quest cartoons and Indian Jones, but still wild.

Here you can see one of the main streets and what it looks like in the early morning, before things opened up.

There were these little peek-a-boo windows everywhere and were told that they were for the women so they could look out but not be seen.  You can also get a feel for the color of the walls.  Every building and wall was painted in this same red/clay color throughout the medina.

And cats.  Muslims love their cats.  No one owns one but they are treated with religious respect as the Prophet Muhammad loved them.  People will leave out food and water for them and they can be seen roaming everywhere.

A couple photos of the size of the alleys and how crowded they get in the market areas...which are called souks in North Africa.

Our tour guide here was named Hassan and was with us for most of the day.  Of course, his name made me think of the Loony Tunes episode Ali Baba Bunny where the guy protecting the cave full of riches from Daffy Duck would chase after him and yell "Hassan chop".    As mentioned, the town is 1000 years old, but I wouldn't go to this city to see buildings.  First of all, the most impressive building is the mosque, but not being Muslim, we were not allowed inside.  The minaret and many of the other buildings were built in the same Moorish style that we saw in Granada and Seville (this minaret was almost identical to the tower outside the Seville cathedral)

We saw a bunch of other buildings that were not well preserved, but using ones imagination, could picture what it was like back in their hey day.  What we did see everywhere, and you can see in the below, were these massive nests that were constructed by storks.  Cannot recall ever seeing one of those that wasn't delivering a baby in a cartoon before.

While the buildings are interesting, they are not the highlight of walking around.  For me, it is looking at all the stores and people.  I stopped to admire a particular doorway, and the owner of the private home saw me and not only didn't shoo us away, invited us inside to see his home.  His kid was in the living room watching a soccer game.  Who does that?  Such amazing people. 

We popped into a local pharmacy and were amazed at all of the local herbs and spices and how they use them medicinally.  Talking to the owner and told him I have a problem with psoriasis and while he said that it was related to stress (which I found odd since I am as stress free as them make 'em), he sold me a shampoo made from local products and told me to use it for 20 days.  I am in day 12 of the program and must say that it is working.  No idea what it is made from and will never be able to buy more, and it might just make my hair fall out faster, but what the hell.

Our guide showed us the Jewish quarter, which is still an ongoing enterprise (it was Saturday so was all closed up when we visited unfortunately).  As I mentioned last time, the Jews had lived in peace with the Moors in Spain, but when the Christians initiated the Inquisition, one of the Jews choices was to leave the country and most of them came to Morocco where they have lived in harmony with the Muslims ever since.  Many of them left for Israel in the 1950's but were told that a percentage of them came back in the 60's after the wars as it was a far more peaceful environment.  Everyone we talked to said that they had no problem with the Jew and in fact, the current Moroccan finance minister is one.

Most kitchens are small and do not have proper ovens, so in order to cook their bread, the families will make their own dough and take them to a central bakery where they bake it over open fire for the local community.  You can imagine the amazing smells emanating from those.

Some other local words that we heard that day...
Bismillah - In the name of God and from Bohemian Rhapsody
Caravanserai - A roadside inn for desert travelers with a courtyard so you could park your camels. 
Kasbah - A North African fortress built with a unique four turret style.

And the orange juice...they have stands all over the place and will freshly squeeze you a glass for a dollar.  Was the best OJ any of us had ever tasted by far.

For dinner one night, we were recommended to try the Argana Café...the food was fine (a complete food diary to be presented later), but the view overlooking the amazingly vibrant Jamma el-Fnaa square was one of a kind.  We were telling our riad hosts that we were going to this place and they said that it had just recently reopened after the bombing.  What did you say?  The Argana Café is the most touristy place in all of Marrakech and in 2011, terrorists set off a massive bomb with the intention of killing as many foreigners as possible (they got 17 people that day).  Probably didn't need that info beforehand, but we had a good dinner.

 The next day, we booked a driver to take us to the coastal town of Essouria about 2.5 hours to the west of Marrakech.  On the way, you pass through the heart of argan country.  Argan is probably the most interesting thing we learned about in Morocco.  It is a tree that produces a fruit that is very similar to an olive.  We knew going in that argan is a popular/trendy beauty product, but what we didn't know is that this tree can only be grown in this certain area of Morocco.  They have tried to plant it in other places with similar climate (Mexico/Colombia/Israel), but it just won't take, so this place is quite unique.  Goats are quite fond of the leaves and berries and they will climb the tree branches to eat them.  We saw them by the side of the road and so a stop was required.

 As fun to see them as it looks.  We later learned that these trees were staged by locals with the goats being planted in the trees and are tied to the branches to keep them there so tourists will give them a few dihrams.  Regardless, a great experience.

Further up the road, there are plants/factories that harvest/manufacture products from the argan tree.  Many (most) of these plants are co-ops that use female labor and they showed us the processes to extract the oil from the seeds.  It is a process that defies mass production and all of it is had done.  Fascinating.

Essouria is a coastal town that sprung from a 16th century Portuguese fortress.  It is now a hippie mecca...they have a rock and roll festival every June and is a huge destination for the bohemian Europeans.  I bought a couple of discs of some local music from a shop called Bob Marleys

 We only had a few hours to spend here and if I had it to do all over again, would have by-passed Spain entirely and spent a few more days in this area.  First of all, the town was ultra mellow and was warm enough for some beach time.  And once you go up, and more so down, the coast, there are hundreds of kilometers of pristine and sparsely populated beaches and know it would have been amazing to explore.  Reminded me a bit of the Yucutan in the 80's when we would go to these beaches and no one was there.  Not many places like that left in the world and can see this being a hot destination.  Read about a small town a few miles outside of Essouria called Dilabet and had our driver take us there.  Dilabet is where Jimi Hendrix lived in 1968 and he wrote the song Castles Made of Sand about an old abandoned palace that is on the ocean that is being reclaimed by sand. 

Desert tour up next...