Reason I bring him up is that the rhetoric he uses sounds a lot like what I hear from the new conglomerate of Ailes/Bannon/Trump are planning. I'd laugh at the absurdity of the phenomenon that are those guys if I didn't see that it is successful right down the street, know the element in the States that would love to meter out their vision of justice, and my heart bleeds at the thought that so many people will vote for him. And I did just self reference myself as a bleeding heart cause if you're not, what does that make you? I wish I thought of it, but read somewhere that while being a Trump supporter doesn't make you racist, you are certainly racist adjacent.
Always nice to catch up with the Chinese side of the family and had a bunch of them over the other day for a BBQ. I was waiting for it and was not disappointed as whenever we get with Betty's relatives, the first thing they say to me is that I look fatter. Well, I've lost a few pounds (thanks for noticing) so knew that they couldn't use their go-to greeting. As they step in the door, first thing that comes out of their mouth is that I need a haircut. I love that about them cause what they say, while on the surface might sound hurtful, it is always the truth and that it is meant to be helpful. I did go and get the haircut...not just because of their comments but more out of survival from the heat. Next day, a dude we were working with on a project that we had just met says that I look like someone. He thinks for a second and goes, "Adam Sandler". Better than what I used to get in my larger days, Norm from Cheers, I suppose, but yet another instance of being identified as a Jewish person.
The other piece of family news that is fascinating has to do with medicine. A male cousin was recently married and about a month into their marriage, the wife gets diagnosed with cancer...a cancer that the western trained doctors gave her weeks to live. This was about 6 months ago and it was related that she was in awful pain. She subsequently went to a Chinese medicine doctor, who gave her the local herbs and spices and she is still with us. She came to the party the other day, and while she doesn't speak any English and we didn't pry, she looked fantastic and most importantly, is still with us. This isn't the only time we've heard first hand accounts of cures to ailments working. While I had considered it voodoo, there is something to having 3000 years of experience and the lesson is to reserve judgment on something that seems weird
That said, it brings us to today's Olympic update - Bodily Fluid edition. First up, Chinese swimmer Fu Yuanhui's comments about being on her period during her event. While obviously this happens all the time, it is the first I can ever remember a woman (of any culture) talking about it openly and that she was Chinese, where the topic is uber-taboo, made it exceptionally interesting. I had known that Chinese are averse to the use of tampons but the stat that really stood out was that in China last year, 85 billion sanitary napkins were manufactured but not a single tampon. Not sure how I feel about that in light of my evolving views on Eastern medicine.
The other Olympic fluid story that resonated with me was the one where the French speed walker shit himself during the race and there are pictures of diarrhea and blood running down his leg, which he tried to mop up with a sponge. Who hasn't been there? And I would rank speed walking as the dumbest looking sport in the Olympics.
Before we move onto the summer travel log, listened to Marc Maron interview Alan Alda on his podcast this week. If you liked MASH, or Alan Alda, or would just like to hear a lovely and interesting man talk about an epic career for an hour, it is good stuff. Made me flash back to watching MASH on Saturday nights when I was 8 or 9 (favorite character will always be Frank Burns although section 8 Klinger was pretty funny too) through to its final episode in 1983. I remember that final one well as it was during my high school year abroad in Australia and the school I was attending went on a four day trip from Melbourne to Adelaide. I cannot remember why we went but do remember watching the finale in the room of my friends and being just so fucking depressed afterwards. Hawkeye made the lady suffocate her baby? I know that it was about war and all, but still. During that same trip, they offered to show us a movie one night and some of us went. It was called Johnny Got His Gun. The premise was about a WWI veteran that had lost all of his limbs and face (eyes/nose/ears/teeth) but his brain still functioned normally. Then it got more depressing from there. I do not recommend that film.
So DC...we arrived there one month BPG (Before Pokémon Go). After marveling at the spread of that game in one month in the States, I knew the Taiwanese were gonna flip out when it came here, and they did not let me down.
We went to DC last summer but returned this year as the Boy got himself a 6 week internship there. He is a science guy and the job was working in a lab that specializes in fabric testing. As they explained it to me, the new types of fabrics that are popular in exercise areas, (think Drifit or Lululemon) retain a biofilm that does not get removed in the wash. I asked them to dumb it down some more. When you perspire, bacteria grows on those areas and in natural fabrics, that comes out in the wash. Also created is this biofilm which is the host that the bacteria grows on and while the bacteria comes out in the wash of these new weaves, for some reason, the biofilm does not and so the bacteria grows faster each time, which is why these fabrics smell so bad after repeated wears (kinda takes some of the sexy factor out of watching a room full of sweaty women doing the 'dead bug' at yoga class). The lab he was at was testing new detergents designed to kill the biofilm and his job was to get the samples ready, grow the bacteria, etc.
He got the gig through a friend of mine and stayed for the summer with another friend of mine from college, the aforementioned Laurie whose car we destroyed in previous episodes. I think he learned some stuff and know he had a good time. Was a soft landing for when he goes off to school next year, living on his own, being responsible for laundry etc. I say soft as Laurie treated him like a king. They went to baseball games and parties and I could tell that they became good friends. Babydoll and I went for the first few days to get him acclimated, but after the first day when we took the bus together to visit his job, we didn't see much of him. Went to dinner and such, but that was about it. I know that the Boy and Laurie became friends as towards the end of my time there, we met up for a late dinner together and they were running late...I can't remember exactly why they were but it had to do with them being disorganized. As they were relating the story and it got to the point where they were recounting the goofy reason they were late, the Boy goes, "that is so us". I literally did the spit take.
So Babydoll and I are in DC for 10ish days and joining us was a friend of Carolyns from Taiwan that had moved back to the States the eyar before. Thought it would be fun for her to have a friend her age as we toured places I knew she would find boring so they could find solace in being bored together. Been thinking about how to recount the DC visit and think I'll break it into parts. Will do a clinical review of sights and then move on...if you don't need a DC tour guide primer, feel free to skip to the next entry..
Sightseeing. I lived in DC during college and have visited several times, but there was a ton of stuff that I never got around to seeing or just wanted to see again.
- The Mall and its surroundings are always great to see. Jefferson is my favorite as it has the best views, is set apart by the tidal basin and his quotes that line the inside are inspiring. Lincoln has great views too and what I learned this time was they have a stone on the steps where MLK gave the "I have a dream speech". Imagining what it was like with the area surrounding it full of people gives one pause.
- One day, we all went up the elevator to the top of the Washington Monument. Do not miss this...I tried to pre-order tix several months in advance but they are limited and couldn't get any, so walked over there in the am about 7:30 as they give out tix for that day at 8:30. Absolutely stunning as you can see everything all the way to the horizon. When you go down the elevator, they go slow so you can see some of the engraved stones that line the interior...ones from cities and states and of course, the Masons.
- The Capitol. Another one where you have to plan ahead. You can get the tour through your House or Senate reps (I did mine through the 'at times' Honorable Maria Cantwell. I messed up in understanding the directions and where to go and we got there 5 minutes late so didn't get the photo-op with her. The reason I messed up was that I assumed that the tour met at the Capitol when it really was at the Hart building across the street but the cool thing was that we got to ride the little subway that connects the offices to the Capitol itself. On our way into the rotunda, we walked by Senator McCain's office just as he came out on his way to the Senate floor. He looked very serious and determined and our guide later told us he had a big defense bill being voted on that day. He was short...shorter than me. Tours are led by college interns and there was the three of us plus another dude, so very intimate and you gives you a chance to ask questions and hear what they have to say. Tons of imagery in the place and every statue and plaque tells a story. They give you passes so you can sit in on the proceedings of the House and Senate, but the line was super long and moving at a galacial pace so we didn't wait. I had been inside the Capitol; once before. Can't remember the reason, but was walking around the building one day in college, something like 1984 or '85, and decided to go in. I do not remember any security, probably as they weren't in session, and was able to not only walk unfettered around the main areas, but into the House chambers. I was the only one in the place and just sat there musing on things an active minded college kid in '85 would muse on...our Founding Fathers, pastel linen colored formal wear, Duran Duran...was glad to have lived in DC before it became a maze of security checkpoints and blast proof barriers. And I would never muse on Duran Duran. In '85, that woulda been The Cure and REM, but Duran Duran sounds funnier. I initially wrote Kajagoogoo but figured most people wouldn't get the reference unless you heard the song.
- Library of Congress - Since we didn't wait to go into the House/Senate, we headed next door for a tour of the Library of Congress. Like the Senate buildings, it is connected by underground tunnel. If you've been to DC, it looks close on a map, but shit is far. Another in the don't miss department...elaborately decorated with imagery everywhere. They had a Guttenberg Bible on display and someone interested in history could spend a day there checking out all the things in there. The girls were starting to fade so related how when I was in college, I went there to check out books in research of my senior paper, which was about Brazilian petroleum giant Petrobras. Sat in that round room with the green lights that you see in All The Presidents Men, just amazing the access we had in those days. You can probably still do that, but would guess that the hoops you'd have to go through are labrynthian now. Wasn't a bad paper as I recall, about 30 pages. The girls were mesmerized as I related how we had to hand write out the early drafts and then use a device called a typewriter for the final copy. OK, mesmerized is a little strong. More like looking at me as if I was some loser dinosaur. As I was telling them about corrector tape and the need to run to the People's Drig store in Dupont Circle to get one at 3am as it was the only one open that had them, another lady in our tour group gave me the Shhhhhhhh. Was pretty sure I was whispering and the girls confirmed I was, so farted at her. We also saw a guy in a utilikilt. More on them another day.
The American History was far more engaging even though a 1/3 of it was closed for renovation. Muhammed Ali's gloves, Prince's guitar, the flag that flew over Ft. McHenry and dresses from all of the First Ladies were highlights, but again, for a history buff... There was a temporary exhibit about the Chincha Islands war that was fascinating. These small islands off of the coast of Peru were covered in bird shit. Hundreds or thousands of years of it piled a mile high in parts. The Spanish figured out that made for the richest fertilizer ever known and started mining it. They fought a "war" over it in fact. In the space of 30 years, the guano was completely harvested to the bed rock below. That's a high level recap of it, but I loved it.
I also did a couple laps through the Botanical Garden and communed with the cactus alone one morning.
We hit the Holocaust museum but didn't understand that tickets were required to see the main exhibit so botched that one. Mention it so you don't make the same blunder.
- National Archives. Across the street from the Smithsonian and had never been in there. The security people going into this building were the nicest and funniest I have ever encountered. I literally went back to the hotel and wrote them up on Trip Advisor. The Archives have the original Declaration of Independence and Constitution, both of which have faded to the point that they are almost illegible, but still important to see. We got there around closing time so did not get to explore all the other things they have to offer, which is extensive and if I am fortunate to return to DC, Going back there with more time to spend is top of the list.
- Ford Theatre...went there solo as the girls had had enough one morning and wanted to hang at the hotel. Another place that I had never visited. It really put color to the story of Lincoln's assassination. The tour, which you need to get pre-timed tickets for, has you sit in the theatre while an actor potrays the part of the police officer that was in attendance that night. He tells the story of the night from his perspective and was really well done. You then walk across the street to the house where they took his body and would die a few hours later.
All of the above sights and tours are totally free. Do your homework and get tix in advance, but great to keep costs down. Also, if you want a White House tour, you need to go through your House or Senate rep like the Capitol tour, but need to do it much further in advance. I tried 4 months ahead and was told that it needs to be at least six. A bummer was that we were there during "Middle School" season (mid-May to mid-June, so everyplace had gobs of 12-14 year olds running around. You have been warned.
- Spy Museum. Got a lot of recommendations to go here and cost $18 bucks each. The first floor was cool, seeing the devices spies used throughout US history and some interactive exhibits that were amusing. The second floor however was a James Bond museum. Props and such from most of the movies, which is fine if you like James Bond, and I do, but felt a bit ripped off as if I wanted to see fantasy stuff, I wouldn't go to a thing called a museum. False advertising.
- National Cathedral. Get the "behind the scenes" tour which takes you into the bowels and rafters. Have seen the odd massive cathedral in my day and this one is good...replete with interesting nods to American history. Seeing the little touches, like the wine bottles the construction people drank and incorporated in the rafters or hearing about the stained glass that are part of the inner stairwells makes it come alive. And as you go to the top and the cathedral is on the highest point in the city, another spot where you get a commanding 360 degree view. It does cost $25 to do it...worth it if you have the time but not sure I'd go out of my way.
- Mount Vernon. This is George Washington's house on the Potomac about an hour outside of DC and cost us $17 apiece. Another place that gets a lot of recommendations but we all found it underwhelming. The house is cool I suppose, and the grounds were nice, but boring. If you are a big GW fan, you might find it interesting but my notes from the day say that it's " for old people". What did I learn? That George died of quinsy, which would not be fatal today, and that he freed his own slaves...after he died. To all of those strict Constitutionalists out there, remember most of these guys owned slaves and didn't consider people without white penises worthy of the right to vote. Revere them with one eye open.
- Bike tour. Finally, the girls, Boy and I did a sunset bike tour around the monuments. Fun...with many of the streets downtown closed to vehicles and paths around the monuments, was a fun easy way to get around and doing them at sunset made for a pretty evening. Can't remember the cost of this one, but worth it.
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