October 22nd, 2016

Had a professional picture of our car taken here the other day...like it?

This is what we get in the mail for a speeding ticket.  Cost 1,800 local dollars, or about 60 bucks.  First one in ages.  For non-long time readers, I got about 10 of these in the first month we were here before we figured out what was going on and where all the speed cameras are.  This is the second since, so pretty good.  I sometimes get totally rockin' out and become one with the vehicle. 

Mentioned last time that it was a back-to-back event night last weekend.  The Community Center auction was Friday.  The Center is the place where I like to donate my time and help them out whenever I can.  They are a non-profit that is there for the local expat community by holding classes and tours, but the main function is providing counseling services many of which they perform at reduced rates or free, so they are forever in need of funds to survive.  The auction is their biggest fundraiser and this was the best one that I've attended.  Not much to share other than this delightful picture of the Boss and I...masquerade themed.

Hit it pretty hard so was not feelin' 100% for the next day's event of the kids school Food Fair.  I help out at the school when I can too, but they are lousy with cash so don't get as much soul salvation.  Still, I am considered the Hot Dog guy over there as I've been running the hot dog booth twice a year for a few years now.  Our goal is to sell 1000 dogs from 10a to 3p and have always sold out.  I typically have a propane grill and a charcoal one, but we always end up using the propane one mainly as it is just easier.  This year, decided to go all charcoal as the dogs simply taste better.  I knew it, and it was pointed out to me often throughout the day, but as soon as that decision was made it would rain that day (karma is such a bitch).  Sure enough, the morning found a steady drizzle, but not too bad.   As soon as the clock hit 10AM, the skies opened up...pouring rain coming down at a 45 degree angle.  My always reliable morning grill partner Louis and I went full urban caveman just to keep the fire alive.

 It hammered us for a good hour before letting up, but we kept the coals hot  and grilled our brains out the rest of the day.  Attendance was way off and we didn't quite sell out, but close.  We made steep price reductions just to move the product and were able to feed all the security and maintenance staff at the end of the day with the leftovers, so added a few karma points back into our column. 

It is a ton of fun but hard work for yours truly as I'm there from 7a to 4p immersed in charcoal fumes, hot dog juice and completely drenched from the rain.  I know when I smell bad, but this day was something else.  I had to throw away my wallet, which I loved and  has been for the better part of a decade inches away from my butthole, cause it got a funk from the dogs that was permanent.  I took two showers that night and another the next morning and I caught a whiff of myself around lunchtime and still wreaked.   Still a great day.

You don't have to love baseball for me to like you, but it wouldn't hurt.  Was watching game three of the Indian/Blue Jay game and the images of Trevor Bauer's finger gushing blood on his pitching hand was just amazing.  He cut a gash in it 3 days prior while playing with a drone.  There have been many a bizarre injury in baseball and ran across this article documenting a few of them. 

Tore his meniscus trying to give his teammate a shaving cream pie to the face following a win.

Missed time after his protective cup pinched a testicle.

The Mariners power hitter slipped out of his chair and bruised his tailbone reaching for his son’s flip flop in 2010.

Broke his collarbone falling down the stairs carrying venison meat

Missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eye.

Cut his hand trying to butter a roll at a Texas Rangers luncheon

Strained a muscle in his back picking up his lunch tray.

Missed two starts after developing elbow inflammation — the supposed cause? Flipping sunflowers seeds at teammates.

Strained his oblique supposedly fluffing his daughter’s pillow.

Dislocated his shoulder trying to tear a phonebook in half — he had seen motivational speakers do it.

Fell asleep in a tanning bed in 2002 — was told by doctors to stay out of the sun mid-season. The next game was a day game.

Stabbed himself in the stomach trying to open a DVD with a knife.

The NL MVP chipped a tooth on a microwaved donut, requiring a root canal

Fell asleep with an icepack on his foot — developed frostbite in August.

Didn’t miss time, but the legend is that he burned himself ironing a shirt he was wearing.

Missed the 2006 ALCS after injuring his wrist playing Guitar Hero.

Allegedly broke a rib vomiting after a bad in-flight meal — he played through it.

Tore his ACL when his manager separated him from an umpire during an argument.

Stabbed himself in the leg trying to open the packaging of “The Club” car lock. Later that year he punched a trash can, broke his hand and contracted tuberculosis.

Tore knee ligaments falling off a treadmill — only to re-injure the knee riding a bike during rehab

Strained his back sneezing in 2004.

Claimed to have missed time in 1998 because of spider bites.

Left the 1985 World Series on a stretcher after the tarp machine rolled over his leg.

Fell through a glass table after waking up from a dream that spiders were eating him.

The tarp rolling over the guy is probably the most famous but think I like the one where he fell through a glass table after a spider bite dream.  And what the hell is a microwave donut?

We have a lizard living in our apartment.  We've all seen it and I tried to capture it a couple of times, but he is so fast.  I said he looks yellow but Babydoll says green.  Betty said that lizards change color and am pretty sure that's not true.  One of my earliest memories is my mom trying to shoe out a lizard from the kitchen with a broom and her freaking out when she caught it by the tail and the tail came off.  I think I'm OK with our new pet, but the other night was getting ready to take the meat off of a Costco rotisserie chicken.  Betty walks in and I ask if she'd do it for me as it kinda grosses me out.  She starts digging in and screams...I think that the lizard has startled her, but it was the head of the bird that popped out at her.  Chinese need to see the head on their creatures as it somehow signifies freshness and Costco complies. 

Am not a devotee, but will watch the show 'Fresh Off The Boat' if I stumble upon it.  Think the Chinese caricatures are a little forced,  but sometimes they totally nail it.  Caught an episode the other day about the brother coming to visit the family and the dad says "let me take your suitcase" and the brother says "no no, I've got it".   It soon devolves into a wrestling match over the bag as to who is going to carry it.  The younger kid asks what is going on and the older brother says that it is a typical Chinese 'polite fight'.  Never heard it described as such but yes, .that is exactly what happens.   Everyday on the elevator, people will fight about letting the other person off first and it gets so annoying.  Always feel like a loser when I give in and sometimes will battle for a win.  The other day, was making a right turn in an unmarked four way intersection...no stop signs or lights and it is truly unbelievable how many of those there are, and a woman is three steps into the intersection.  I stop of course cause that is what good people do, but that isn't the custom here and the woman stops and starts baking up.  I ain't gonna lose this polite fight so I wave her to cross and she backs up further...into the curb and falls on her ass, spilling the contents of her bag.  So funny.

This polite fight is all for show cause as soon as they can get anonymity, they all...let me repeat...ALL will take advantage if they can.  Haven't ranted about the drivers recently cause I heard complaints as that is all I do in this space, but pulled up a car length behind the first car in the left turn only lane.  He apparently wants to go straight but the left turn arrow turns green and he sits there.  He his gonna wait until the light to go straight turns green so he can go that way.  Meanwhile, I and all the cars behind him now have to suffer cause of his fuck up and complete unwillingness to eat his mistake and go around the block. Of course, I lay on the horn more than Kanye lays on the auto tune and can see both the first guy and the drone in between us looking at me in their rear view mirrors like raccoons.  I don't buy your politeness people cause it is totally fake.  The true character of  person is whether they do the right thing when no one is looking.

Have talked about the musical garbage trucks a couple times, but someone made a nice video of it and share it here. 

Finally, someone sent me a photo from the college days.  This has to be '84 or '85

So ahead of the times.  I was rockin' both the 'fro and hipster beard when both were out of style.  And this is also  proof that I was a fan of nasty women way before that became a thing.