Had this weird premonition the other day that something was up with my mom. Nothing specific, just a feeling. Don't get them a lot and they usually turn out to be nothing, but not more than 12 hours later I get a message that she fell and busted up her shoulder. Thankfully, she didn't hit her head again, but at this point, she needs reconstructive or replacement surgery. The initial doctor seemed reluctant to do such an intensive surgery on a 90 year old but just heard they found one that can perform it on Monday. Ugh. My sister has a vacation planned so will be visiting the States for a few days early December to be around her. As it isn't her brain this time, should have a couple of moments to sneak away, so if you are in the Bay area then, drop me a line. More to come.
Quick update on local business activity. The construction on the corner outside our place is not a new bu-shi-ban, but rather the other type of place that never goes out of business. A new 7-11. That means within a 1 block radius and that we can see from our apartment, we have 5 Family Mart/7-11's. It is quite amazing how much this culture relies on these things.
Quick recommendation. As with the personal discovery of arancini as detailed last time, found another slice of heaven on that southern Italy trip that has changed how I eat.
Hot sauce for pasta! I picked up a bottle in Palermo and kinda forgot about it, but started adding a few drips to ziti and am now completely hooked. Simply olive oil infused with red pepper, for a spice junkie, it is a revelation. It doesn't mask, but rather enhances the flavor of the saucy goodness. My initial bottle ran out and found a few different ones on Amazon and grabbed the above bottle. How have I missed this, why don't more restaurants offer it or more recipes don't call for it as an ingredient?
Not gonna rant (too much) on the state of politics cause it simply too heinous, but did hear a funny/true analogy of trickle down economics during a discussion on the "historic" tax plan they are trying to get into law that I had not heard before. Called Horse and Sparrow" economics, if you feed the horse a ton of oats, there will be more shit for the sparrows to eat. Chirp.
Quick tease...yesterday, finally went to the local acupuncture place. Had never tried it but had always wanted to and with my body breaking down exponentially am looking for relief in any way. Not sure how I felt about it and the program is to go 3 times weekly. Plus he gave me some herbs and spices (all natural of course) to take three times daily. It was a bit of a freak out show for yours truly as only the doctor speaks broken English, and the setting is unlike any type of medical facility a dazzling west coast urbanite like myself has ever been. Will detail more once I have some more perspective.
One of my buddies said I should get to writing the book that I have been contemplating. Have been unmotivated to do it cause no one reads books anymore, and the topics for something original that have been rolling around in my brain probably only interest me or have been done to death. Recently, have thought about dissecting the crap in this space to see if there is something there that I could slap together for posterity. Even came up with a name for it..."On". Chapters would be titled "On Food" or "On Driving" and would be a philosophy/etiquette tome. We'll see...may make it a NY resolution.
One of the chapters would definitely be "On Women" cause I know that I have discussed them plenty. Other than to share specific travel experiences with folks going to where we went, I have never gone back and read any of the previous posts. Never look back darling...it distracts from the now. Am a bit apprehensive about things I have said about the opposite sex especially in light of all the inappropriate touching in the news. I like to think that I would be on the right side of this topic cause have always loved the company of women more than dudes. I also feel like I have been on the right side of the harassment thing, but have to admit that dudes are awful. I don't want to say all, but have to say that all dudes are more than capable of it to some degree. Most of them/us are evolved enough to keep it in check, but it is always there all the time. When you get into a position of power, and mix it with some shit from the past and living in certain cultural pockets that makes it OK in the brain, then I guess touching a little girl or whipping it out in front of people seems like a thing to do. Sick. I always believe the women when they come forward, cause the attacks and humiliation they get when they do have to be as close to as awful as the original incident. But am not letting all the ladies off scot free either cause there are plenty of females (with obvious issues both cultural and mental) that are giving the perps (including the gawdamn President who a lot of you voted for) a pass on this shit. I lost a female acquaintance a couple years ago cause we got into it on FB over the video a woman shot of her walking the streets and the many men that would cat call and even stalk her. She got mad at me by saying that it is fine when men think you're pretty and you should feel flattered, and was even cool with it for her then under 18 year old girls. Like I said, fucked up on both sides of the aisle. This is quite a time in society when it seems to be hitting the fan and feels like it is a turning point. I guess that we do have the Prez (both past and present) to thank for something. As usual, Pat Benatar said it best...stop using Sex As A Weapon
By the way, getting of scot free has nothing to do with a guy named Scott nor the Scottish people.
If you get off scot free you avoid punishment for doing something that deserves punishment. For example, “Although the police caught him red-handed, the judge said there wasn’t enough evidence and he got off scot free”.
The word scot in this sense has nothing to do with Scotland or Scotsmen, however. Scot is believed to be a word of old Germanic origin that is related to the words shot and shoot. In medieval England the scot was a tax levied on the members of a village or town which all the inhabitants had to pay in proportion to the size of their property or the extent of their land. Some people avoided the scot, however, often because their houses were built in unfavourable places such as hills with no water or places prone to flooding. Such people were described as scot free and the term has now come to describe anyone who avoids a punishment or financial penalty that they would normally have to serve or pay.
Finally for this week, and in keeping with my pop psychology bent, and also in anticipation of the upcoming release of "On", an article popped up on my feed that discussed millennial therapy issues.
The article was about the 6 main topics millennials cite as being their problems according to a survey of therapists. I am absolutely fascinated by this generation, mainly due to how they are going to lead us on in the age of technology that my generation thought we were gonna get when watching the Jetson's. I also think that they get treated harshly by older generations for doing stupid shit cause you know what other generation did stupid shit when they were young? All of them (at least back to the Boomers...records from previous generations are spotty at best).
Anyhoo, I like to stuff my pipe, lean back in my leather chair and opine on all matters, but since this is such a serious topic, have enlisted a true genius on all things body and soul to help me analyze the millennials accordingly. So curl up on the couch and let you, and me...and the Pat Benatar talk some things through.
I can't make a decision. What if I make the wrong decision?
You will. A lot. And the odds are that you will make a few that'll screw your life up to some degree. We all do. Odds are you are going to make a few wrong decisions that you didn't think about at all, and those are the ones that can really do damage. Getting in the car drunk is a biggie and bet you can think of many more along this track. We are all on a scale between thinking too much or not at all, but inaction is unacceptable. Don't just do your best, do the best of someone that you admire. Regardless of the decision you make, Pat Benatar has some advice...
I have difficulty saying "no", especially to my parents.
You should have difficulty cause they are usually right. Unless you get bad ones. I am a 70% nurture/30% nature guy and guess what, (barring adoption, gene splicing, etc.) they are the ones that both nurture and provide the "nature". The worst is the little kids that get abused before they have any tools to realize what's what and am glad you are here talking about it. There are some seriously fucked up things adults do to kids and those people need to be exposed and in a lot of cases, jailed. I am sorry if that is you and that you need to talk to a professional. Now.
I also think (really, I pray) that most parents try hard and also screw you up by trying hard, so for the most part, give them a break but don't let them off the hook either. Pat...how say you?
Hell Is For Children
Will I ever make enough money to start a life with my partner?
No. Like the saying goes, if you have to ask the price, then you can't afford it. There are times when indulging when the price is high is well worth it. And you can't make money without spending money. I'd worry less about how much cash you got and who this "partner" person is. And I cannot stress this one enough...take your time. Pat feels that Payin' The Cost To Be The Boss is the way to go.
I feel helpless about all that's going on in the world.
You are...doesn't mean you can't say something. I know from the previous topic that you don't have money, but bet you could spend some time on the matters that you feel strongly about? Instead of coming into my office next week, why don't you spend an hour at a shelter of some kind, or go make up some Blood and Soil posters. Whatever you're into. Pat feels strongly that "When you get to the bottom. you go back to the top of the slide"
I feel like a fraud.
You are...stop it. Either being or feeling like one. Am not even sure I know what that means cause the definition of being a fraud I think you mean is "a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities." So either you are a fraud and you suck (and by the way, everyone knows that about you and hates you for it, so you aren't really a fraud, just a dick), or you aren't a fraud and are wasting time. What kind of time Pat?
My anxiety is interfering with my life.
Mentioned at the end of summer that during a parent seminar during UVA orientation on the kids adaptation to life away from home, researchers have seen a huge change from kids in the past feeling stress to now feeling anxiety. The obvious reason was that parents in the past used to push their kids to achieve, to the new parenting style of laying everything out for them so get anxious when it comes their turn to perform on their own. As the youngest child in a family from the "pushing generation" parents, but who were too old and tired to push too hard, am lucky that I don't noticeably feel an inordinate amount of stress or anxiety. And I think there are some lessons for you in that. First, what's done is done and you were wired for better or worse the way you are, but that you have identified it allows you to use it as one of your super powers. Second, a very wise friend, who was also messed up by his psychology professor parents, once said to me as we were discussing child rearing, "a little angst is a good thing". So when it is your turn to screw your kids up, remember to instill a little anxiety and a little stress and most importantly, let your kids find out what's what without you telling them all the answers is the way to go.
As for today and tomorrow, you have got to find the thing that makes you happy where you can go to...what is the clinical term?...mellow the fuck out. I'll share a few of mine to give you some examples. A little exercise is great. Don't get all obsessive over it, but at least a little walk every day. And you don't have to go into complete silence to meditate as it can take whatever form works for you. My beloved podcasts accompany me on my daily ritual and they can range from mindless fun to serious topics. I also like to straighten things, which literally and metaphorically helps me put things in order. Those work for me, but here is one that I truly believe will work for anybody. Write it down. Doesn't need to be diatribes like this, just simple notes. Things to do, people to call, what you did that day, feelings...whatever. Just make it a personal ritual of some kind.
And of course, music. It comes in so many sizes and colors that there are several that fit you. Pat agrees wholeheartedly.
Anxiety (Get Nervous)
You are fucked up...
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