You know how proud I am of my alma mater American University...
Learned that not only Michael Cohen (pictured above in my graduating class' yearbook) is a proud AU Eagle alum, but the reason that Russian agent/spy Maria Butina came to the US was to get her masters at that fine institution. Sad thing is those are hardly the sleaziest of people I knew there, just the most accomplished in their sleaziness..
It has been a while since I commented on the drivers here. Don't worry, absolutely nothing has changed, it is just that I try not to repeat myself too often and if I were to detail all the new and frustrating acts of disrespect I see, would have to create a new space to share them and update it daily. Pretty sure I have gone through the 5 stages of grief about the situation here and am now finally in the acceptance stage. For example, yesterday I get to an intersection I cross a couple times a day. It is a choke point, especially during rush hour where two major roads connect through some side streets. You proceed down a one lane each way road in front of a hospital (where the old fellas get pushed out to the curb in their hospital gowns and oxygen tanks so they can have a smoke) and then splits into two at a T intersection with the left lane turning left and the right lane turning right. If you go left, you go in front of an elementary school, and to the right is a facility that operates a clinic or something that handles kids with Down syndrome. In other words, just an ordinary Taipei intersection.
I'm car number two going left waiting for the light and when it turns green, the guy in the left lane decides he wants to go right. Am sure you know where this is going...the guy in the right lane simultaneously decides he wants to go left. Hilarity ensues as they cannot figure how to resolve the situation as the clock runs out on the green and the rest of us are stuck through another cycle. In the past, I woulda laid on the horn and screamed every obscenity in my arsenal, but this time I just sat there quietly watching them in wonder as you would the animals at the zoo. Think I even chuckled to myself. Progress?
If you wanna keep up with the lingo of today, and especially if you have kids and need to break the code, you need to put the Urban Dictionary on your favorites bar. Was chatting with Babydoll the other day and referring to a girl we saw on the street she called her an ABG or Asian Baby Girl or aznbbygirl.. The Urban Dictionary definition of one of those...
An asian girl that spends her days hanging with gangsters and her nights partying and doing drugs. also wears makeup that makes them look like clowns. They also have big puffy hair.
You can go down a hole pretty fast on Urban Dictionary. As part of the ABG definition, the word 'twitch' is listed. 'Twitch' can either be 'part twit and bitch" or two girls that are 'twin bitches'. An 'Emily' is a girl that is dating the ex of her best friend. I cannot get away with regularly using the lingo I learn in the company of my 15 year old and her friends, but when you can drop a word bomb on them at an appropriate point, the look on their faces is priceless.
Got some laughs/sideways looks the other day when I was complaining about the hardships us white guys go through these days. Heard a couple of Asian ladies talking about their ancestry and lamented that us white guys are not allowed to ask "what kind of Asian are you" any more. Make Asians Great Again.
Last week in town before the break and the typical end of year shenanigans are happening. We had our last Coffee Morning of the year and the topic was the history and current state of the Indigenous population of Taiwan. We had a great speaker, a South African documentarian, come to give the talk and he was very even handed and sincere in his adoration of the indigenous peoples.. His very surprising take? History shows the native population was decimated by hundreds of years of colonial expansion and attempts at 'civilizing' them, and that the current efforts to make amends are fraught with political, economic and racial issues that have so many actors and levels to make the problems impossible to rectify with any consensus. Surprise!
I have been involved with another controversy that seems almost as problematic and intractable. Was at my volunteer job answering the phones on Wednesday and went to the bathroom. Did my business (number one) and washed my hands. Grabbed a paper towel to dry them, walked out of the bathroom and deposited the paper towel into the recycle box.
The two colleagues that were there saw it and reprimanded me for doing so. We then got into a 30 minute discussion on proper etiquette with my position being that the paper is proper to be recycled and that it wasn't soiled but just wet. They acquiesced to my line of thought but were steadfast in their belief that it was still wrong. I hate it when an dispute cannot be settled and will pursue it until agreement is found. While I will argue my point with passion and conviction, I can be convinced and concede but only when a persuasive and empirical counterpoint is offered. A couple nights later it was the company X-mas party and felt the need to reignite the debate with the entire crowd. Opinions were solidly mixed with some agreeing my point but most being disgusted by the act (of course they are disgusted by me in general rather than the act but expected that as it happens all the time). One of the ladies teen aged son was listening in and this kid is one of those that is thoughtful and talkative. Kind of annoying in a way to some cause kids should be seen and not heard but I welcomed his take which was that in Taiwan, the people that go through the recycling, which we all lump together, have to separate it into the various categories and that they get paid for what they bring in by weight. He proposed that the paper towel was not something that they would be able to consolidate and benefit from and that it would compost itself both in the recycle area and trash heap equally making it more work to recycle rather than putting in the trash. Am not certain that is all true, but he made a compelling and logical argument, rather than one based on faulty opinions about hygiene, and I conceded the point.
Allrighty then...we're off for the break and look forward to sharing some of the sights, sounds and yes, even the smells of our trip to the Isles. Am a bit nervous going in as the Irish have always been a nemesis for me. Am sure that I've documented my decades long issues with them that typically stem from me being a verbal fighter to them brandishing their knuckles early in any dispute. Have tried to keep a positive mindset and reverse the mojo, but this week the place I booked us in Dublin for 4 nights back in September canceled on us, and two subsequent Air BnB's that we liked and were accepted in also canceled our bookings. We now have place number four that seems OK and that is apparently secured, but it has been a hassle and a half (including an unresolved dispute where one of these fuckers is hanging on to a decent load of our cash) and I expect more rugs to be pulled. I am really gonna try to not be my typical asshole self when I'm there in hopes of making it out unscathed cause my Irish karma is in the shits.
As this is an even year, we're traveling with our Seattle mother/daughter duo this time. Our first of these together was in 2012 and now two of the three kids are legal drinking age. Looking forward to having some funny stories to share. Was reminded of one of my favorites from our 2016 trip to Italy by seeing this series of articles on Vox Media about the US culture's obsession with "The Best".
I typically book the stuff on the itinerary but in 2016 for reasons I don't clearly recall but think it had to do with the ladies narrative that all of the tour guides I book are attractive women (untrue), the ladies booked a driving tour for us one day of the Amalfi coast. They picked an Italian guy with great hair called Francesco. Our day with him is well documented as he was a total d-bag, albeit with great hair, and he railed on the unsophistication of Americans in general...to a group of Americans. One of his (many) talking points was how Americans always wanted to know what "the best" of anything was. While it is somewhat true as this series of articles details, it is more a product of language and social media rather than some nefarious plot or how uncultured we are perceived. At the end of the day as we are pulling back into our accomodation, I complimented Francesco in my most sarcastic way that he was "the best" tour guide we had ever had.
Have a great holiday and talk to you on the other side.
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