June 14th, 2019

I'm coming your way.  The hair thing is gonna be in your face and am happy to discuss it, will accept without reprisal any gag you may have though you only get chuckle points for originality. I could care less if you like it or not cause the chicks dig it and that is all that matters.  

It is nasty and will cut it eventually, but am committed to it through at least October as there is a Halloween party and look to incorporate it into my costume.  Haven't landed on one yet and welcome your input on that.  Some weird clown is obvious and appropriate but the thought of slapping on a bunch of make-up sounds gross and too much of a hassle.  Am not opposed to dying it some funky color and perhaps color it all white and go as a Q-tip.  Art Garfunkel or Phil Spector are the current leaders in the clubhouse and do have an orange jumpsuit  so could go as jailhouse Phil, although his locks have left him

One more thing...when I wash and comb it out, can get it into what one person described as 'Italian mobster' hair.  May look for some product to keep it relaxed and am close to the point where I can tie it in the back.  Will let Babydoll work on that at some stage.

It is still stinky hot this week, but am not complaining.  You'd think it was due to the fact I know we'll be hitting the road on Saturday, but that wasn't making me feel better.  Since last time I posted, learned about a music festival in September and have arranged to attend.  Called Huichica it is two days in Walla Walla and is supposed to be a melding of good food, fine wine and indie rock-and roll.  They even issue you a wine glass upon entry.  The line-up is full of bands I like and a bunch that I am curious about, with the headliner being my beloved Yo La Tengo.  Knowing I have a Yo La Tengo ticket for an upcoming show soothes my soul like nothing else and I go to that happy place when I think about complaining about anything.  I know that is weird or selfish, but it just is and isn't that enough.

Just read a story about the pearl clutching by some about the US Women's soccer team beating Thailand 13-0 and made me think of a game the Seattle soccer team that Paul and I were on.  I know I've talked about that great group before but not for a long time.  For three years, we pounded the entire city and only got beat by teams that brought in illegal players when they played us (which were officially discovered and our losses were turned into wins).  Our players were not soccer players but a bunch of good athletes with a nasty streak.  We played rough (but mostly legal) and pushed every boundary.  And the entire city hated us for it.  Our third season together we are in the year end city tournament and were playing in the third round.  We show up and get ready as always and I hear the opposing coach running his drills like the dude from Full Metal Jacket.  We were no strangers to them but I never cared about our opponents cause only we could beat ourselves.  I didn't like this guy's tone towards his kids so decided to mess with him if given the opportunity.  There was a rule that in the playoffs, the team's parents and fans had to be on the sideline opposite the team (as opposed to the rest of the year).  Our parents were going to the correct side cause we know the rules but watched pre-game as their sides parents got all comfortable Seattle style on the wrong sideline.  Seattle style means that there were chairs and blankets and little huts to protect from the rain...a big production.  I wait till a minute before kickoff and point out the parent thing to the officials who make them trapse all the way around the ground to the other side.  Classic.  We proceed to score 5 or 6 goals before halftime.  This has to be 2010 cause one of the kids brought a vuvuzela, which were popular during the World Cup in South Africa that year.  I hated that thing and the kids blew it  after every goal.  After 6 goals, I'd had enough and told them to put it away.  We score some more in t he second half and we take our foot off the gas.  Not our first blow-out so the way we  did that was to select one of our weaker players and make the other boys pass it around so only this kid had a shot on goal.  By this point of the year, only one of our 15 kids hadn't scored on the season so he was it.  We didn't score any more, although we should have as this kid got at least three good cracks at it, but he had this weird tick where he'd leap in the air like a Mexican Jumping Bean whenever he got the ball.

Next day, I get an email from the League Administrators who forwarded an email from the other coach complaining about our sportsmanship, particularly the vuvuzela thing and how we "ran up the score".  I replied to the league, and copied in that coach and all of our parents, about how I thought his screaming at the kids was bad form and how I decided to enforce the parent sideline rule as a result of that.  I agreed that the vuvuzela thing was awful and that we put it away once we had stomped them so badly in the first half.  As for running up the score, explained how we shifted our attack so as to not totally humiliate them, which we obviously could have done with ease.  I asked what we could have done differently that wouldn't have humiliated them even more.  Play with fewer players?  I really didn't know.  We beat them 8-0 that night and the kicker was that I looked at the scores from the previous round and his team beat another side 7-0.  Man I wish I still had that email cause I tore him apart with that fact.  That guy never replied but I bet he still seethes when he thinks about it.  A great night that was and there were so many funny stories from that team...need to dig those out and may make it a theme in the Fall.

Anyhoo, am not a fan of teams letting up during a blowout but having been on the receiving end of more than the delivering side, am sympathetic to it.  My opinion is that a good coach would take the opportunity to work on weaker aspects of their team while still trying hard, cause laying down shows more disrespect to the other team in my opinion

   


Here is my early take on the 2020 election.  While I'll be voting with both hands for the person that gets the Dem nod, I am all in on Elizabeth Warren.  There is a song by a band called Thelonious Monster called "Lena Horne Still Sings Stormy Weather", and it is about how old Los Angeles is changing.  A song from the 80's, there is a line that goes "They say Jesse Jackson will never be President, but yet, he's still the man I vote for."  Change Warren for Jackson, and Woman for man, and that is the tune I'm singing.

I really like Kamala, probably better than Warren on a personal level, but think that Warren is ready now while Kamala can simmer and build her resume, which is impressive already.  Am also a big fan of what Mayor Pete is doing too.  He hits all the right notes when he speaks and was just listening to his foreign policy speech and he nailed it for me.  A Warren/Mayor Pete ticket would be sensational.  What I do not need is to hear one more of my old (re:my age) white guy friends say they are supporting Biden.  None of them love his past positions on things (most of which seemed fine at the time but feel antiquated now), nor do they have an idea what his current positions are (seems Biden is watching the wind blow before he lands on stuff and has the impression that the GOP is gonna work with him). When I plead to them that he is 78 damn years old, they kinda wince.  The  sole reason they are supporting him  is that since he is BFF's with Obama that he is the most electable. C'mon old white guys...Obama and Trump were considered electable at this same juncture of the campaign?   Support the person that has the best ideas, or guts or is most charismatic...anything but some vague notion about electability that you heard some pundit blurt.  You should know better and more importantly, want better.  That's where I'm comin' from.

Was gonna write up something this week about the difference between whining and complaining, but not only ran out of time, what I found from psychology sources matches my feelings.  Complaining about something shows a desire to right something wrong, whereas whining has no point other than trying to make someone feel sorry for you.  They studied babies reactions to people that complained or whined and the babies felt no sympathy to the whiners.  Long story short, no whining will be tolerated at any time.

Alrighty then.  It's time to hit the road so may not post here until August.  A buddy of mine is planning a trip to upstate New York and I immediately wanted to give him my #1 recommendation, which is to get to Buffalo and eat some Duff's wings.  We went to Buffalo a few/10ish years back and visited an old friend who we challenged to show us the best wings in town.  We were there three nights and had three varieties.  The first night was not memorable and forget where it was.  Night two we went to the Anchor Bar, which is the undisputed place of origin for Buffalo wings.  An iconic location and the wings were fine, but we left not feeling that it was the pinnacle.

I do not claim to be an authority on the matter but have had many a wing.  Night three was Duff's and I am here to say that it was the best wing session I have ever had and every wing that I have eaten since is compared to that night.  Have had some very good ones, but no others compare to that night and think about them often to the point that I look to include Buffalo in any trip just to get my lips on some.  I am looking up Duff's so I can send my traveling buddy info about how to get it inside of him and notice that they have "locations".  There was only one Duff's  years ago so I click on the link and in addition to a few in the Buffalo area, they have two outside NY, with one near Atlanta.  As I will be there this weekend, sent an emergency note to my friend there changing our free day plans to a drive to Duff's.  There is obviously several things that could go wrong but the two most likely are that they don't do them as well as at ground zero, or they are not as good as my memory recalls.

Regardless, the next time I post, Duff's  will be the lede.

June 8th, 2019

Hiya,

I was/am a big Star Trek: The Next Generation Fan, who is really excited to watch the new Picard series in the Fall.  If you're not a devotee, bear with me for a second.  There is an episode in the series where Dr. Crusher is having a normal day and then people start disappearing.  Not only do they vanish, but no one seems to acknowledge that the missing people ever existed.  The world gets smaller and smaller with the ships crew starting at over a thousand people to the point where she is the only person on board.  Turns out she was in some crazy time warp bubble on her own and the crew saves her at the end of course.  Looked it up and the episode is called 'Remember Me' S4 E5 and found that info on a site devoted to MILF Dr Crusher.

Feel like I am in that episode.  I was out with a bunch of dudes last night grabbing dinner before going to see John Wick 3.  Again.  First of all, generally loathe a boys night out cause having girls around is always better.  And there are always a couple of the guys that are a bit too excited about a boys night out.  We used to call those guys 'pussy whipped' but suspect that term is on the list of inappropriate ones nowadays.  Boys nights out tend to have conversations dominated about work (zzzzzzz) or their lame hobby (golf/cycling/etc.). Kill me. The worst part though is that they feel free to casually mention all their pent up ugly views, like we all buy into their crap.  Like an onion, these include, but are not limited to, are in no particular order and are not  ranked in heinousness; Patriots/Red Sox honks, climate skeptics, Trump apologists, prostitute customers, religious types, and any of a  number of conspiracy theorists.  Don't find it surprising, but anti-vaxers aren't found in the dude-bro crowd as that seems centered in the nutty broad crowd, which has their own set of screwy beliefs.

Based on the above, are you still in my reality bubble?

My point is that as I talk to folks and start to peel their onion, seems that one of the above pops out soon enough and those people then become outside of my bubble. They existed but no longer do.  That bubble, where only people without these matter of fact shitty views and I live, gets smaller and smaller and fear that I will be the only one in it in the near future.  Dr Crusher spent that whole episode trying to understand what was wrong with everyone else and why they couldn't understand what was happening until she realized she was the one in the alternated dimension.  Am I the one in the alternate dimension and how do I figure out if I am?

Kinda related, but as the bubble closes in, being willing to take advice or recommendations from those outside of it is harder as there are fewer reliable people available.  I will usually accept a food recommendation, even from the devil, and give it a try.  With Spotify, sampling music is so easy to  dial up immediately.  Really bad taste in music is not in itself  grounds to be thrown out of the bubble, but it is usually a spot on indicator.  There is so much visual media to sort through in this era of time that it is hard to fight the noise and decide what to devote time to.  For example, I never watched a minute of Game of Thrones as no one inside the bubble ever recommended it, and as I hear all the morons that spent hours devoted to it whine how awful the end was, feel vindicated in my approach.

My newish rule is that something must be recommended at least 4 times by trusted sources, being friends or media types whose opinions I respect, before diving in.  I give my recommendations here in the assumption that you all have similar criteria and want to lend my voice to things I like.  I heard the 4th shout out for the Netflix show 'Russian Doll' and plowed through the 8 half hour episodes this week.  Groundhog Day meets 24hr Party People.  Very twisted and dark, just how I like it.  Not family viewing for sure, but if you are down with drug/sex fueled black comedy, well worth the time.

No funny local news items to share although I did enjoy reading this one about how they call President Tsai  "Spicy Taiwanese Sister".   She is a tough cookie and I really like her and your opinion of her is a determining factor if you are a resident of the Bubble.  In this article, they use the word 'sobriquet' as a synonym for nickname.  Great word.

Not a ton of stuff going on in these parts.  School is out and my baseball camp gig got canceled, so am just doing nothing.  Nothing but being miserable as the torturous heat has hit its peak (109 yesterday/91 at 2am), so doing any activity is hellish.  House is clean though.  We hit the road next weekend and am not sure if I will post before we go,  but I have been looking into the definitions of venting, whining and complaining in relation to my feelings about the heat and have some thoughts.    

June 2nd, 2019

Hey there,

"That's not who I am" has reached the level of "Thoughts and prayers" to me.  Seems like every time someone gets called out for saying/posting something awful, their apologies always include that statement.  Rarely do you see someone copping to being ignorant and or having horrible views on such, just sorry, but you misunderstood the really good person that I am.  Every time I hear that I know that is exactly the kind of person you are.  Did a half assed web search on the phrase and other than an opinion piece by some visionary from The Times-Picayune, the results were from a Disney Jr. song with that title.

Not much in local news this week other than the story that the volcano group we see outside our window, which has long been said to be dormant, is in fact geologically active.  It has been smelling like rotten eggs here in the morning all week, but this study is deeper than just that, finding it has erupted about 5,000 years ago, rather than the previously held belief that it has been 200,000 years, and there is an active magma chamber gurgling underneath us.  While we are not in imminent danger, our little neck of the woods would be the first to go.

School ended here this week and on Wednesday there was a year end coaches BBQ.  They had the typical burgers and dogs going and I have never seen a group of people more deathly afraid of carbohydrates in my life.  I am not lying when I saw that 8 out of 10 people were eating their dogs without buns, holding the greasy wiener in their hands as they dipped it into their condiments.  Of course it was hot that the ladies were doing it, but c'mon people...eat a fucking hot dog the right way or just don't bother.  Of course this ratio is higher as this sample size are mainly workout freaks, but suspect that they are just posing cause they are around their peers.  Here is a little fact that you don't want to hear...your bodies aren't that great looking.

Something that happens every time we go to an upper scale place to eat is the question whether we want sparkling or natural water.  I always say tap is fine, much to the chagrin of some at the table, but I'm cheap enough to not want to spend 4 bucks or whatever on something that is available and more than satisfactory for free.  Anyhoo, sparkling water doesn't quench my thirst and even feel that it makes me thirstier.  The inevitable table debate ensues about how stupid getting sparkling is (my side) and everyone else ganging up on me as to how they prefer it and can't tell you why, but argue with me in hopes they can prove their hypothesis that I am just an asshole.  So it was with great anticipation that I clicked on an article about the myths of sparkling water in hopes that it would settle the debate.  I never claimed any of these to be true, but this article debunks some myths like sparkling water destroying tooth enamel, decreasing bone density, and that it doesn't hydrate as well as still water (as long as there is not added sugars and such).  Buried at the end is a quick sentence that says sparking water can "lead to a build-up of gas and can cause bloating and discomfort."  It doesn't add the obvious next line that you then fart like cow, but have to imagine that is assumed.  I am all for farting, even encourage it, but if farting was a side affect of sparkling water and I still don't drink it out of preference, that should speak volumes.

Don't watch a ton of movies and do not recommend any unless I feel very strongly about them.  Sat down with the new Netflix release 'Always Be My Maybe' and recommend it with both hands.  Was drawn to it as Ali Wong is a hilarious comedian (her two comedy specials are a raunchy tour de force) and she wrote it with the dude from Fresh Off The Boat.  The clincher was hearing Keanu makes a noteworthy cameo and he did.  Story as old as time but done well and certainly worth your time.

OK...here we go.  I promised you my Costco 10 Commandments (Taiwan edition)last week.  As I sit down to write this, I only have 8 and hope that I am inspired to come up with the last two on the fly...kind of like God.

1) Thou shalt follow the directions in the parking lot.
There are direction arrows on the walls and ground for a reason and going the opposite direction cause you think you are gonna sneak into that prime spot is not only counterproductive to our overall well being, it is an affront to God himself.

2) Thou shalt park head in.
It confounds me when folks back into a spot at Costco,  Q. How do you put your giant package of toilet paper or flat of fizzy water into the back of your car when its ass is against a wall or another car? A. Poorly.

3) Respect thy greeter and cashier as you respect thy self
You gotta show your card coming in the door and at the register, and you must show your receipt upon exiting the warehouse.  Have. It. The Fuck. Ready!  It'd be nice (but not required)  if you were pleasant to them as well.

4) Thou shalt respect the samples 
A few things...have at least one but no more than three.  Only have three if you are going to buy.  If the samples are cooking, don't stand there waiting but take a lap instead.  Be friendly to the sample distributors.  Some of them may want to chat and some may want to be left alone.  Pick up their signals.  Do not abandon your cart, especially in the middle of an aisle, as you wait in line.

5) Thou shalt not covet your neighbors cart.
If you want to see what I am buying, take a glance and be stealth about it.  Do not stare or bend in to get a closer look. This one takes on some racial overtones here in Taiwan, but will save that discussion for another time,

6) Thou shalt place the divider after your items on the checkout conveyor belt.  
Am I your mommy?  Whenever they don't put up the divider, I always put my shit right next to theirs, spooning my salami with their hairy crab if you will,  and the speed with which they grab for the rubber orange divider is ninja-esque

7) Thou shalt visit the café.  
You know you want one...just get the damn hot dog for cryin' out loud.  I do recommend you fill your cup up with water cause soda provides zero nutrition and can ruin a life.  I will not even judge if you pitch half of the bun.  If not a dog, grab a bake or churro or whatevs for the car ride home.

8) Thou shalt not steal.  
Take only the condiments you need for your hot dog and move along.  Taking a load of onions or relish home with you to do God only knows what is stealing.  .

9 ) Thou shalt put your cart back into the pen
Are you above this menial task?  You are not.

10) Thou shalt log onto Costco.com
The deals they offer, and the variety of stuff on there will blow you away, but would guess that 1 out of 10 members do so.   Flowers for a loved one, trip packages, and a casket are all things I have bought at one time or another and I need to go on more often.

11) Thou shalt not complain when they stop stocking your item.
There is not a Costco shopper that has not felt a sense of loss when an item they love is no longer stocked.  The reasons should be obvious as to why they don't and I do understand your loss...my thoughts and prayers go out to you.  Be thankful for having it as long as you did and celebrate its life rather than mourn its passing.

A very Spinal Tap-ish 11 for you.  Had to go one more that God just to say I did.  This list is not the official  view of the Costco Corporation and I am not a representative of said entity.  I am simply an avid fan and these thoughts are an amalgam of my experiences and in conversations with many on the topic.  It was also thrown together in typical half-assed fashion and so I welcome any additional thoughts or comments on these missives.