September 20th, 2019

Hiya,

Programming note.  There will likely be no post next week as yours truly is making his annual rock pilgrimage.  This one is to California to see my beloved Yo La Tengo for 5 shows in 6 days (LA, Big Sur!, 3 nights in SF).  You know where my mood lies and that next time will be another ode to them.

A story popped up in my feed today about figs.  I like figs so clicked on it..  How figs are fertilized and that they are not fruit, but flowers, this was a really fascinating account about them.  Expand your mind and prepare for it to be blown

One note from the previous summer recap from SF that I forgot last time was regarding my sisters mutt.  She got a new one and he celebrated his 2nd b-day while we were there.  He's a chocolate lab named Buck and we were told that he has an appetite for socks.  We were warned not to leave them lying about and one afternoon saw a pair of my nephew's on the ground.  Pointed it out to him and he said that the dog doesn't eat his anymore.  Buck slept with Babydoll during our stay and one morning she tells me how pissed she was cause the dog woke her up at 5am (she typically slept till at least 10a) puking out some socks.  Of course I asked whose socks they were and she didn't know cause they were covered in bile and she immediately threw them into the garbage outside.  Being a bit self conscious in killing the previous dog, I fished them out of the trash and they were the nephew's.

Skipping over Chicago for now as I haven't downloaded photos from Betty's phone.  After ORD, we spent the last couple of weeks in Seattle where the weather was simply perfect.  Warm during the days, a couple of sprinkly/misty mornings, and just perfect at night.  Doesn't do me any good now sitting here with crevices caked in rash and hydro cortisone, but a good memory.

Seattle is when we get our annual check-ups.  Babydoll doesn't have to go but her school requires a signed medical update.  No news from her other than she dropped 13 pounds from last year.  She has developed a regular workout regimen and dances all the time, so getting results like that help keep up the motivation.

Betty had her first colonoscopy.  Tried to tell her but she underestimated the impact of the pre-procedure colon cleanse.  My gag that you probably heard this sumemr was that this was the first time in her life that she wasn't full of shit.  They have these things down as she was in and out in exactly one hour.  Betty was definitely out of it when the doctor came in to tell her of the results, which were glowing.  Doc said she had an immaculately clean and smooth colon and I asked if she was a perfect asshole.  Took her back to the hotel for a nap after and had to walk her on my arm down the hallway.  The cleaning lady's cart was blocking most of the hallway and as we tried to sneak by, I walked her face first into a wall.  She didn't remember and I did feel bad about that, but also laughed a bit too.

As for my doctor visit...another reminder that getting old sucks.  Lost another 1/4 inch of height for instance.  My doctor said she noticed me walking more hunched over.  My mother is really bent over all the time now and her mother/my grandmother was so bent as to be at a complete right angle.  Try to tell myself to stand up straight, but know this is my destiny.  I had a pain between my toes that I thought might be an ingrown toenail, but turns out it was a corn.  That's an old person thing, yes?  She did not do the typical prostate finger up the butt as she said that it can be detected through the blood draw, so if your doctor is still doing that to you, they are just sexually assulting you at this point.  .  All of the results from that blood work gave results that were all solidly in the preferred range.  With the shit I put into my body, how is that possible?

Not a lot of eventful happenings this year to share, but here are some.  One night, we went with another couple to the new 13 Coins location in Pioneer Square.  It compared favorably to its longtime previous location with regards to the food.  I liked the old school décor of the old one better, but the new one is built to handle massive pre/post game crowds from the stadiums next door in a good way.  We went on a weekend with no events happening, and if you've ever been to Pioneer Square on a day like that, it is eerily quiet and kinda spooky.  We pull up (I'm driving) and there is a spot right in front.  I stop and prepare to parallel park, and the guy behind me honks and is flailing his arms wildly.  There is not another car in sight and at least two car widths for him to go around, but this guy is gonna make it like I am personally attacking him.  He pulls along side and continues his gesticulation (his car is a piece of shit Carolla and looks like all his worldly possessions are in it), so I give him the finger.  Then he really looses his mind.  Rolls his window down and tells me where I can go, stuff about my mom, etc.  I know that in my car is a huge dude, who happens to be Irish and has had a few pops already, so am not worried about this guy.  Irish guy was the voice of reason however cause Airport Betty and Irish guy's badass wife are opening the car doors to get out and pummel this guy.  He sees that and drives off.  Good times.

This was near the end of a crazy driving day.  They are always crazy days in Seattle having to drive the kids/Betty around and meeting folks for dinner every night, but this one was insane.  Here is the route for the day...Issaquah, North Bend, Ballard, Downtown, Issaquah, Downtown, Woodinville, Ballard, Pioneer Square, Ballard, Queen Anne, Issaquah.  I stated it often but the locals weren't buying it...I thought Seattle traffic was better this year.  The Viaduct/Tunnel opened and the revisions to the carpool lanes have made going across the water less congested (in my opinion).  There was only one afternoon that we got nailed in a jam, but that was the same night as a pre-season Seahawk game and we knowingly went into the teeth of it.  Just sayin'.

Went to the annual Mariner game with the fellas (6 of us go to a game and get drunk in the LF bleachers).  Many years, there is some event or altercation to relate, like last year when I got kicked in the head by a fellow Mainer fan, but this year was unremarkable.  The only thing to say is that we have a bet and the winner drinks for free.  I haven't drank a beer in several years and the other boys would always give me crap for ordering wine,  This year, they all drank wine.  Getting old fellas...haw haw.  The Boy and his buddy came with us to the game but didn't sit with us.  They caught a foul ball the little shits.  Apparently, one stopped it and the other caught it on the rebound.  Took me 48 years to get one and the little Prince got his at 20.

Saw a really great band at the Crocodile.  I looked long and hard for something to see while in town and landed on a Turkish act called Atlin Gun.  They play70's Turkish disco and were super fun.  They must be big in that community cause every hairy mustachioed Turk in the PNW was there and they all sang along to the songs.  Riveting band...the lead guitar player also played a raucous stringed instrument called a Suz, and the female lead singer wore the tightest of jeans and a vintage tube top that came loose when she dove into the crowd.  If you ever need a band recommendation, lemme know.

Overheard this while in town.  "It's not my fault Pangea split into 5 pieces".

Finally, Babydoll decided to get her ears pierced.  Have never talked about it before and I wasn't in any hurry cause I know that'll mean she has something new she wants to buy,  but Grandma opened up her jewelry case to her and she picked out a pair so needed to get them done.  My experience with the process is nill and only remember my sister getting hers done at Bullocks department store.  A lot of folks said there was some kiosk in Northgate mall but also heard as many stories about infections.  Luckily, Seattle doesn't have a shortage of places to get your body pierced (tattoed and branded).  We took her to Pierced Heart and they had all the bolts and nipple clamps you could want.  They did a nice job, and liked the fact that I had to sign off on the procedure with her being under 18.

Okey dokey...see you in a couple weeks, but before we go, three thoughts on the NFL season so far.

- The flea flicker always works.

- Steve Young has hit the age where his dyed hair looks out of place (I.e. completely ridiculous).

- They talk about the Patriots Way, which I now understand as the Patriots (looking the other) Way.  Seeing Tom Brady hugging rapist Antonio Brown made me sick to my stomach.

August 15th, 2019

Hey there,

Usually try to open these things with some local news but do not have much to relate as it is simply too hot to do anything other than the bare minimum outside the house.  Not a local story, and not even a new one, but here is a nice story on the immigrant couple that founded the Panda Express empire.  They lived across the street from me growing up but other than seeing them get the newspaper at times, never had any interaction with them.  My town was as white as it came and the Panda family were part of the first wave of Chinese that moved into the neighborhood.  I regret many thoughts and words from those days.

Fortunately, this is an amazing time of year for sports so have some indoor fun to distract my mind.  The big drama this week came courtesy of Antonio Brown.  Not gonna rehash it here as you either know it or don't care.  Watched MNF with some buddies the other day and one of them follows college ball over the pros so did not know any of the story.  I related to him all the events from the last couple of years and it took almost 5 minutes to get through it.  And that was before the rape allegations.  The reason I am even bringing it up here is that I had a day this week that I was seriously renouncing my Raider fandom and becoming a Patriot honk.  Am sick of always losing and those guys do everything right and wrong to win.  They're gonna put that piece of shit AB on the field this weekend.  Why not lean into being a Pats fan and own the Libs?  Then I realized that if there is a heaven, I would like to gain entrance and defending those guys would put me on the bad list.

I will do a local update about how the heat is messing with my pH balance at the end today and spoiler...it ain't pretty.

Alrighty.  Will spend a few minutes continuing on with some summer trip notes..  Last I left you we were flying to San Francisco to spend a few weeks with my mom while my sister took her annual summer vacation.  As you may recall, a couple years ago when house/dog sitting, her 10 year old lab died under my care.  As she was leaving town this year, my sister's instructions to me were not to "kill my dog or my mother."  No pressure.

For a lady that just turned 93 and has had two serious surgeries (subdural hemotoma and shoulder replacement), the old girl is in great shape.  Her long term memory seems pretty intact and she not only remembers who I am, but all of the mistakes and bad things I have done in life.  Her short term memory however...  I wish I was a better person to not get frustrated by having to repeat the plan 10 times in a row.  I think I could make it through them if she didn't accuse me of never telling her stuff, which puts you on the defensive.  I should probably read up on the subject and develop strategies to cope with that.

We weren't at my sisters alone as her son/my nephew is living there these days.  He has a life and we didn't see him a ton, but at one point as we are negotiating time with the washer/dryer, he says that it is time to 'process' the laundry.  Figure that is a millennial term but  Babydoll and I loved it and now process our own laundry, dinner, homework, etc.  

Here is a word my kids throw at me at times and hear it used by other kids in this generation too.   When I am trying to explain something that they really don't want to know about and ask if they understand, they will throw out a dismissive and questioning 'Sure?' said in a vintage valley girl accent.  Have you experienced this?  Drives me absolutely fucking insane and I immediately attack them for using it.  They get real defensive and mad at me for getting mad at them but feel someone should tell them now before they use it on a boss or teacher.

I know Betty hated when I did this with the Boy, but did it again with Babydoll this summer and that was to spend an hour or three teaching them how to drive.  I am most careful as to where we go, first starting late at night in a huge empty parking lot, then on some deserted airport access roads late at night.  I think she did pretty well.  Our concern with B-doll has always been her sense of direction, or lack thereof.  Some folks internal gyroscopes are flipped magnetically and up is down for them.  With all the driving and map applications now though, I think she could maneuver effectively in the world.  

I don't need to rehash my issues with Palo Alto and the pretentious bubble that exists there as I have probably railed on it the last 6 years in many forms.  The only new weird thing about it this year were the squirrels.  I saw a dead one somewhere the first three days and so wrote down in my notebook all the times I saw them going forward.  In 16 days there, I saw at least one dead squirrel on 14 of them.  My theory is that they have become pests to the point that the locals are poisoning them.  I know that is against the law, and would be unethical to their stated bubble belief system that all creatures should be free to be themselves, but that belief only lasts until something interrupts their view of nirvana, and then it is bring on the rat poison.

One more bit of Palo Alto culture that bumps me the wrong way is Philz Coffee.  This is a regional chain that specializes in blended brews.  If you visit their website, this is a company that has a 'story' and needs to describe to you the 'exeprience' you'll have drinking their coffee.  I need a cup and this place is on the way, so pop in and peruse the menu.  Almost walk out cause they have names like 'Ambrosia of God' and 'Canopy of Heaven', but need my fix so settle on Tantalizing Turkish cause I enjoy Turkish coffee.  It is described on the menu board as having flavors associated with cardamom, herbs and tobacco.  I'm the only one in line and it takes them a good 7-8 minutes to handcraft my beverage, which gives me time to look around the store which has 17 hipsters with their heads down looking at 17 laptops.  I swear there was not a single conversation or any eye contact in the joint.  I get my cup and it tastes like a freaking kebab.  So precious.

A positive thing to mention that happened during this time is that I got Babydoll to start watching Veronica Mars.  Me harping on how awesome it was her entire life finally jelled with one of her besties agreeing with me.  Hulu had a reboot of it and they streamed the first three seasons.  She binge watched all and has come to  love it.  We wanted to watch the new season together when we got back to Taiwan, but she is too busy, so I polished it off (and watched it again already).  It was great.  I only mention this in hopes of spreading the word of one of my favorite shows ever.  Why not try it?  

Another fun thing that happened while we were in Palo Alto this year was that 4 of the boys I coach on our varsity baseball team enrolled in a 5 day baseball camp at Stanford.  I went over to watch them a couple times and could not have been happier for them.  There were some serious ball players at this camp.  All of the kids at this camp were high quality and a lot of these high school boys looked like men.  Big men.  One kid looked like mid-career Jayson Werth, complete with greasy mullet and scraggily beard.  I watched two kids hit homers that were easily 375 feet.  Our boys looked like elementary school kids in comparison, but they held their own and the experience they got playing with better kids at a facility that was world class will help with our upcoming seasons training for sure.  Getting to hang and talk with them about it at the ballpark gave me some credibility points too.

One of the kids mom and little sister were there and we hung out watching the game.  The sister must be one of those poor siblings that gets dragged to all the stuff cause she is prepared and is reading a book the whole time and does little talking.  After the game, we all meet up with the boys and their son/brother is a catcher. Ask if he was getting beat up behind the plate and he lifts his shirt to show me one of his bruises.  The sister reacts immediately and flicks it as hard as she could...love her.

One of the other baseball coaches is a Bay Area native and an Oakland A's fan, so we planned on a Sunday afternoon game to go to together.

I love that dump and for whatever reason, the games are always a spirited affair and this game ended in a walkoff win for Oakland.  It was Mark Semien free t-shirt day and I got mine.  It is OK...has his name and a graphic of him on it  and their 2019 team slogan 'Rooted In Oakland' is on the bottom.  I wear it a few weeks later and Betty looks at me and says, "Is that guys name Semen?".  I point out the slogan and tell her that the A's are trying to get a new stadium, and with the Warriors moving across the bay and the Raiders making a move to Sin City, the A's are promoting the fact they want to stay in Oakland.  Nice.  One of their best pitchers is from Australia and is good enough to have gotten his own bobblehead this year and it says Rooted In Oakland on the base of it.  This particular bobblehead is highly sought after down under because "rooted" in Australian means fucked.  This pitcher loves the fact that his bobblehead says 'Fucked In Oakland'  They have a great sense of humor down there one I hope doesn't get washed away in this era of righteous indignation

Here is a little tip for any visitors to San Francisco.  We had to get a hotel for a couple nights and got one just south of the airport.  In taking my morning stroll, stumbled upon a trail right along the bay cleverly named Bayshore.  On maps, can see it goes all along the west side of the bay, but this stretch was a couple of miles that terminated at the cyclone fence of SFO.  If you've flown into SFO before, you may have been on a plane where another plane was flying right alongside and you basically race to the runway.  Along this stretch, you can see the planes lining up for miles and watch them come in side by side.  Your view of the entire tarmac is uninterrupted so you can see them taxi and see the other planes lining up to take off, which is also in pairs of two.  It reminded me of stories during the Berlin airlift.  Along the path is a Starbucks (thankfully not a Philz) and outside they put some Adirondack chairs to watch the world go by.  SF is a particularly gorgeous city with a thousand stunning vistas, but this one might just be my favorite.  If you have a flight out of town, maybe go an hour or so early and meditate.  It is only a 5 minute drive from the terminals.  Seriously.

Betty came to town for a couple days and then we drove down to LA to see her family....dog and mom survived.   I wouldn't recommend buying it, but the rig we rented for this trip was a Jeep Compass.  Drove fine, was a bit ergonomically wonky inside but looks bitchin'.  I definitely put the Ass in Jeep Compass.

Forgot to mention that while my sister was gone that she let me drive her new Subaru.  She finally sold off her Lexus, which was my dad's ride that she got from him way back when.  That thing had a ton of miles on it and had none of the Bluetooth or other features a new Ford Focus would have now, but it always drove smooth.  I hope she doesn't read this, but that new Subaru was the most passive-aggressive car I have had the displeasure of driving.  You cannot start it without clicking on some terms and conditions button promising you'll drive safely.  And the fucker dinged at everything.  Change a lane without using your blinker?  Ding ding ding.  It even dings when the person in the back seat isn't buckled up but isn't smart enough to know that I just put something heavy back there.  I like a car with an assertive horn, but this thing was more of a Debbie Downer whine.  We dubbed it the Subaru Palo Alto edition.

The drive to LA  is another annual trip and the highlights are always a drive through Gilroy to pick up some garlic peanuts, counting how many trucks full of tomatoes we'd see (115) and the game of asking "is that you?" as we pass by Harriss Ranch (aka Cowschwitz) and their heard of 10,000 cattle.  Also a highlight is the obligatory stop at Vim for Thai Food...a family tradition since 1991.

We had a pleasant visit with her sister's family and mom.  Betty's mom is quite spry and I envied her knees.  We go to visit her dad's grave every year to clean it and say a prayer for him.  In the car after, mom is asleep in the back seat and her arm is hanging on to the strap on the roof of the car.  I say to B-doll that you can tell a lot about her side of the family's origins as that is exactly what an orangutan looks like when it is sleeping.  We all laughed really hard cause it's true.  Don't hate me for making a racial joke cause one of that side of the family's current gags is talking about the way the Asians drive in Orange County.  Asian Drivers...No Survivors.  Am sure this is a biased statement since I grew up and learned my driving chops there, but LA drivers are the best there is.  

After LA, we sent B-doll up to Seattle while Betty and took a 5 day trip to Chicago.  Will save that for another day and time.

Gonna finish up today with a crotch rot update.  Obligatory warning that this will be crude.

Since last time, the diaper rash has improved a bit in the areas that were affected, but it has also migrated, crossing the landbridge that is the taint and up the butt crack. It's a freaking abattoir down there.  Abattoir is a great word.  It then defied gravity and jumped up to viciously attacked my arm pits.  Am still battling all of these hot spots with every ointment the drug store has to offer.   Raised my arms in the mirror today and my armpits looked like Rocky's eyes after his first bout with Apollo Creed.  'Cut me Mick'

That's not all.  While this rot is concentrated in all the crevices that are dark and sweaty, another annual tradition has come into play.  I know that I go on and on about how shitty the weather is here, but there has to be something more than just heat and humidity going on.  Since we returned one month ago, there has not been a single day where the temperature did not have a high of at least 104.  All gawdamnday long.  When we go to and from this place, and to and from the cool climes of the Northern California or PNW, it takes a week or two but certain body changes occur that I have a hard time understanding. Each year upon returning to the States, my hands will peel.  Fingers, back of hand and palm will shed in sheets.  Doesn't hurt, but is just kinda gross.  What happens when we come back here?  Glad you asked...my meat and potatoes will start itching uncontrollably.  Not all day,  only when I go to bed.  I will wake up and it'll be itchy.  Think that I must go at them initially in my sleep cause they are on fire.  I should just get up and put on the Benadryl cream, which seems to help, but lie there in a half coma scratching them mercilessly until I cant stands no more.  This morning in the light of day, I took a close look at it and it has the exact same color and texture of an AM/PM pepperoni stick that is past its sell by date.  I don't know if they are national, but there is a company that sells dried meats called Oh Boy Oberto.  I went to look for a clip that says their trademark "Oh Boy' line to add to the end of this post, but found this amazingly poignant commercial of theirs instead.  Enjoy.

September 7th, 2019

Hey there,

What is goin' on around these parts?  For the most part, this is the best time of year.  It was my b-day on Wednesday marking the 54th time I've been around the sun. Do you know what I wished for when blowing out the candles?  Same thing I wish for every time I go to sleep...that something terrible happens to 45.  Dying would let him off too easy.  This isn't the best time of year cause of my birthday but rather is the sweetest spot of the sports calendar.  Baseball is in the home stretch and it feels like if the Dodgers don't win it all this year, it'll be a huge disappointment.  NFL cranked up on Thursday and while my Raiders continue to be a laughing stock, the Seahawks have become a model of franchise stability and hope.  And September is playoff month for Aussie Rules.  My Bombers made a predictable exit in round 1 on Thursday, but the whole shebang is just glorious.

I say that it is great "for the most part" cause what is definitelynot cool about this time of year here is the heat in this town  Am gonna say some crude things about my body in this paragraph so if that is not your style, please skip ahead.  This last week, have had an unbelievable bad bout of swamp crotch.  Not being in a building that is air conditioned all day it is impossible to keep the nooks and crannies dry,and since I am walking around a lot, have rubbed myself more than raw.  It's a freaking mess down there and worse than you are imagining.  Have been looking for any relief and one of the ways for a little is to get a Taiwan blow job.  A TW BJ is when you put on loose shorts and sit in front of an oscillating fan. If no one is home, then the shorts come off.   This morning, I pleaded with the higher powers that I sometimes talk to to intervene and make me better.  Have researched remedies on the internet and have used a lab full of creams and powders.  My current regimen is an alternating combination of Neosporin and corn starch from the pantry.  Have to add that with a liberal dose of corn starch and then a walk outside, that I am cooking up 'Taiwan Corn Dog' downstairs every day.

OK...some quick hits from summer..

- Duffs.  Before the break, told you that the joint where we had the greatest wing experience, Duffs in Buffalo, had recently opened an outlet in Atlanta.  Was super excited in hopes that we would have an experience that would come close but knew in our hearts that it could never be the same.  While the wings were good, excellent in fact, it did not meet our lofty expectations.  My Atlanta buddy said that we would go the next day to the best hot chicken sandwich in the country.  Turns out that Nashville's iconic Hattie B's opened an outlet in Atlanta too so I knew the potential for something delicious was high.  Sadly, we learned when we arrived that they are closed on Sunday.  Who could have possibly known that?

- Hands in the air.  My ATL buddy and I are longtime concert going pals and we always try to see something when we get together.  He scouted out an act named Little Sims who is  a hip hop artist from the UK.  I swear that I go to hip hop shows with an open mind, but every time get wildly annoyed by the constant urging from the stage for us to put our hands in the air.  Little Sims made us do so at some point during every single song.  I will continue to go when a friend wants to see one, and will also try to not be the old guy hating on new music, but the next time I see one of these shows that I like will be the first time.  

- Lawyer bill boards.  You can tell a lot about a region by looking at the bill boards as you meander through towns and what is clear about the southeast of our country is that they sue the shit out of each other.  Saying that at least half of them were advertising law services would be conservative.

- Tobacco repurposing.  Will say that the tobacco growing region has done a spectacular job in taking old tobacco processing buildings and turning them into useful commercial and public spaces.

- Southern hospitality.  It is supposed to be legendary and a symbol about what is right about the south.  With every 'hoow y'all today' I heard, I could not help but think about how these people love them some Confederacy and that this is just utter bullshit that I want to tell them to fuck off every time.  I know that is a me problem, but still.  I have adopted their use of the term "All y'all" and more specifically use it 'Fuck all y'all'.

- Costco in Virginia.  The Boy's summer job was cart wrangling and other gopher stuff at Costco in Charlottesville.  Babydoll and I planned to roll into town towards the end of his shift with the intention of sneaking up on him in the parking lot while he was working and giving him a blast of the car's horn.  Sadly, he was working inside and so we went into find him.  We spied on him as he helped cashiers loading carts.

It was nice to see him and he seems to be in a good place.  Working 40 hours a week is a good life lesson so he works harder to get to a place where he can be a little more in control of his life rather than just working for the man.  When we told him that he seemed tired, he got all defensive and said 'well if you worked all day...'.  We laughed at him.  He had just moved into his new room for the year, which is in a fraternity house.  As you can imagine, it had the exact same smell and disgusting array of discarded couches that every other frat house in the country has.  I can't imagine living in such a shit hole, and while he seemed to bristle at others lack of cleanliness, did not seem to complain as much as I would.  Babydoll and I went in and after 2 minutes told him that we'd wait outside cause we both felt gross in a variety of ways.  She was aghast at the state of the communal bathroom and I felt things crawling on me.

This is also when The Boy explained to us why the unofficial nickname of UVA is the Wahoos.  He said that the wahoo is a fish that is capable of drinking twice its weight.  Proud fratboy is he.  I looked it up later and it seems that claim is a load of crap, but it makes for a good story.

Speaking of the Boy, this thing came into my news feed.  The guy in the photo kinda looks like him and so Boy has a new nickname.  You can say it like Chef does in Ratatouille

- Monticello.  Took the kids to Monticello cause Linguini Boy needed to see it and B-doll is taking US History this year, so the life of Thomas Jefferson and the conflicting feelings I got about how his great words of freedom were juxtaposed with his use of slaves will give her insight in her studies.  The guide this year mentioned the life of Sally Hemmings and the twisted relationship they had, but it wasn't close to  being as effective and affecting as the docent we had last year. 

- Washington DC.  I so love going there and would not hesitate to relocate to the DMV if given the chance  Great food, all the sports, music, art, history that I love, and it has an cross section of humanity that only the most international of cities can offer.  They call it Chocolate City for a reason.  Babydoll turned to me at one point after walking around town how much she loves the way black folks seem so open and happy.  We were driving with a couple of friends one evening and I see a  lady in tight pants with an ass that was majestically round and proclaimed that you would never see a booty like that in Taiwan.

An old buddy of mine lives there and is another one that is a devoted concert goer and we also try to find something to see when we are together.  Turns out that the night we were able to hook up that the legendary Minus 5 were playing at tiny Rock and Roll Hotel.  The Minus 5 are a collection of musicians from other groups I love like Dream Syndicate, Fastbacks, Young Fresh Fellows and 3/5 of R.E.M.  Great set.

Please enjoy their classic 'Aw Shit Man' from a show they played in Philly the next night.

Took an Uber home from the show and at one point a dude with no shirt comes walking in the middle of traffic screaming at all the cars.  Totally out of his mind.  The driver says that he is probably on K2.  Was not familiar with that drug and the driver explains that the kids are going into their grandmas bathrooms and stealing their potpourri.  They then go into her garage and douse the potpourri with things like Round-Up or rat poison and then smoke it.  That sounds like a good idea.

One more thing...we stayed with one of my oldest friends from college who has appeared in many stories from the old days, most notably the eastern Pennsylvania car crash episode of '87.  She is family, and like family, they have habits that confuse but we have to accept.  We shared multiple group houses back in the college days and while I was always the one tidying up, she was the type of person that never could put anything in its place.  She is not dirty, just unorganized.  We came to an understanding back then that her personal space could be as she wished, but the communal area remained clutter free.  We visit this time and her place is clean, but crap is piled everywhere.  It really is a struggle for me to be in an environment like that, but being a guest, really tried to keep my mouth shut.  Last summer we stopped by and on her counter was a double pack of Jif and triple pack of grape jelly from the Costco, so you know the containers are giant.  As a Costco devotee, recognize the product and knowing she lives alone and that she could never eat that much stuff, ask her what's up with it.  She says that she was organizing a work function where they were gonna make a ton of PB&J's, but that it got cancelled.  We show up this summer and I see the same containers on the counter (the kitchen counter, right in the middle of everything mind you) and ask her about them, and she proceeds to tell me about the same work function that got cancelled.  When I tell her that we heard that story a year ago and point out that 5 massive Costco sized jars have sat unmoved on her precious kitchen counter space for over a year, she laughed.  I guarantee they are still sitting there and I hope to be fortunate enough to return to DC next year to see if they are still there.

- Short people.After our east coast run, it was time to spend a few weeks in Palo Alto with my mom while my sister went on her vacation.  Babydoll and I got our tickets late and so had to sit in different rows and I shared my row with a lovely family of midgets.  Can I tell you what I learned about midgets on airplanes?  Very little.

More next time.