Usually try to open these things with some local news but do not have much to relate as it is simply too hot to do anything other than the bare minimum outside the house. Not a local story, and not even a new one, but here is a nice story on the immigrant couple that founded the Panda Express empire. They lived across the street from me growing up but other than seeing them get the newspaper at times, never had any interaction with them. My town was as white as it came and the Panda family were part of the first wave of Chinese that moved into the neighborhood. I regret many thoughts and words from those days.
Fortunately, this is an amazing time of year for sports so have some indoor fun to distract my mind. The big drama this week came courtesy of Antonio Brown. Not gonna rehash it here as you either know it or don't care. Watched MNF with some buddies the other day and one of them follows college ball over the pros so did not know any of the story. I related to him all the events from the last couple of years and it took almost 5 minutes to get through it. And that was before the rape allegations. The reason I am even bringing it up here is that I had a day this week that I was seriously renouncing my Raider fandom and becoming a Patriot honk. Am sick of always losing and those guys do everything right and wrong to win. They're gonna put that piece of shit AB on the field this weekend. Why not lean into being a Pats fan and own the Libs? Then I realized that if there is a heaven, I would like to gain entrance and defending those guys would put me on the bad list.
I will do a local update about how the heat is messing with my pH balance at the end today and spoiler...it ain't pretty.
Alrighty. Will spend a few minutes continuing on with some summer trip notes.. Last I left you we were flying to San Francisco to spend a few weeks with my mom while my sister took her annual summer vacation. As you may recall, a couple years ago when house/dog sitting, her 10 year old lab died under my care. As she was leaving town this year, my sister's instructions to me were not to "kill my dog or my mother." No pressure.
For a lady that just turned 93 and has had two serious surgeries (subdural hemotoma and shoulder replacement), the old girl is in great shape. Her long term memory seems pretty intact and she not only remembers who I am, but all of the mistakes and bad things I have done in life. Her short term memory however... I wish I was a better person to not get frustrated by having to repeat the plan 10 times in a row. I think I could make it through them if she didn't accuse me of never telling her stuff, which puts you on the defensive. I should probably read up on the subject and develop strategies to cope with that.
We weren't at my sisters alone as her son/my nephew is living there these days. He has a life and we didn't see him a ton, but at one point as we are negotiating time with the washer/dryer, he says that it is time to 'process' the laundry. Figure that is a millennial term but Babydoll and I loved it and now process our own laundry, dinner, homework, etc.
Here is a word my kids throw at me at times and hear it used by other kids in this generation too. When I am trying to explain something that they really don't want to know about and ask if they understand, they will throw out a dismissive and questioning 'Sure?' said in a vintage valley girl accent. Have you experienced this? Drives me absolutely fucking insane and I immediately attack them for using it. They get real defensive and mad at me for getting mad at them but feel someone should tell them now before they use it on a boss or teacher.
I know Betty hated when I did this with the Boy, but did it again with Babydoll this summer and that was to spend an hour or three teaching them how to drive. I am most careful as to where we go, first starting late at night in a huge empty parking lot, then on some deserted airport access roads late at night. I think she did pretty well. Our concern with B-doll has always been her sense of direction, or lack thereof. Some folks internal gyroscopes are flipped magnetically and up is down for them. With all the driving and map applications now though, I think she could maneuver effectively in the world.
I don't need to rehash my issues with Palo Alto and the pretentious bubble that exists there as I have probably railed on it the last 6 years in many forms. The only new weird thing about it this year were the squirrels. I saw a dead one somewhere the first three days and so wrote down in my notebook all the times I saw them going forward. In 16 days there, I saw at least one dead squirrel on 14 of them. My theory is that they have become pests to the point that the locals are poisoning them. I know that is against the law, and would be unethical to their stated bubble belief system that all creatures should be free to be themselves, but that belief only lasts until something interrupts their view of nirvana, and then it is bring on the rat poison.
One more bit of Palo Alto culture that bumps me the wrong way is Philz Coffee. This is a regional chain that specializes in blended brews. If you visit their website, this is a company that has a 'story' and needs to describe to you the 'exeprience' you'll have drinking their coffee. I need a cup and this place is on the way, so pop in and peruse the menu. Almost walk out cause they have names like 'Ambrosia of God' and 'Canopy of Heaven', but need my fix so settle on Tantalizing Turkish cause I enjoy Turkish coffee. It is described on the menu board as having flavors associated with cardamom, herbs and tobacco. I'm the only one in line and it takes them a good 7-8 minutes to handcraft my beverage, which gives me time to look around the store which has 17 hipsters with their heads down looking at 17 laptops. I swear there was not a single conversation or any eye contact in the joint. I get my cup and it tastes like a freaking kebab. So precious.
A positive thing to mention that happened during this time is that I got Babydoll to start watching Veronica Mars. Me harping on how awesome it was her entire life finally jelled with one of her besties agreeing with me. Hulu had a reboot of it and they streamed the first three seasons. She binge watched all and has come to love it. We wanted to watch the new season together when we got back to Taiwan, but she is too busy, so I polished it off (and watched it again already). It was great. I only mention this in hopes of spreading the word of one of my favorite shows ever. Why not try it?
Another fun thing that happened while we were in Palo Alto this year was that 4 of the boys I coach on our varsity baseball team enrolled in a 5 day baseball camp at Stanford. I went over to watch them a couple times and could not have been happier for them. There were some serious ball players at this camp. All of the kids at this camp were high quality and a lot of these high school boys looked like men. Big men. One kid looked like mid-career Jayson Werth, complete with greasy mullet and scraggily beard. I watched two kids hit homers that were easily 375 feet. Our boys looked like elementary school kids in comparison, but they held their own and the experience they got playing with better kids at a facility that was world class will help with our upcoming seasons training for sure. Getting to hang and talk with them about it at the ballpark gave me some credibility points too.
One of the kids mom and little sister were there and we hung out watching the game. The sister must be one of those poor siblings that gets dragged to all the stuff cause she is prepared and is reading a book the whole time and does little talking. After the game, we all meet up with the boys and their son/brother is a catcher. Ask if he was getting beat up behind the plate and he lifts his shirt to show me one of his bruises. The sister reacts immediately and flicks it as hard as she could...love her.
One of the other baseball coaches is a Bay Area native and an Oakland A's fan, so we planned on a Sunday afternoon game to go to together.
I love that dump and for whatever reason, the games are always a spirited affair and this game ended in a walkoff win for Oakland. It was Mark Semien free t-shirt day and I got mine. It is OK...has his name and a graphic of him on it and their 2019 team slogan 'Rooted In Oakland' is on the bottom. I wear it a few weeks later and Betty looks at me and says, "Is that guys name Semen?". I point out the slogan and tell her that the A's are trying to get a new stadium, and with the Warriors moving across the bay and the Raiders making a move to Sin City, the A's are promoting the fact they want to stay in Oakland. Nice. One of their best pitchers is from Australia and is good enough to have gotten his own bobblehead this year and it says Rooted In Oakland on the base of it. This particular bobblehead is highly sought after down under because "rooted" in Australian means fucked. This pitcher loves the fact that his bobblehead says 'Fucked In Oakland' They have a great sense of humor down there one I hope doesn't get washed away in this era of righteous indignation
I love that dump and for whatever reason, the games are always a spirited affair and this game ended in a walkoff win for Oakland. It was Mark Semien free t-shirt day and I got mine. It is OK...has his name and a graphic of him on it and their 2019 team slogan 'Rooted In Oakland' is on the bottom. I wear it a few weeks later and Betty looks at me and says, "Is that guys name Semen?". I point out the slogan and tell her that the A's are trying to get a new stadium, and with the Warriors moving across the bay and the Raiders making a move to Sin City, the A's are promoting the fact they want to stay in Oakland. Nice. One of their best pitchers is from Australia and is good enough to have gotten his own bobblehead this year and it says Rooted In Oakland on the base of it. This particular bobblehead is highly sought after down under because "rooted" in Australian means fucked. This pitcher loves the fact that his bobblehead says 'Fucked In Oakland' They have a great sense of humor down there one I hope doesn't get washed away in this era of righteous indignation
Here is a little tip for any visitors to San Francisco. We had to get a hotel for a couple nights and got one just south of the airport. In taking my morning stroll, stumbled upon a trail right along the bay cleverly named Bayshore. On maps, can see it goes all along the west side of the bay, but this stretch was a couple of miles that terminated at the cyclone fence of SFO. If you've flown into SFO before, you may have been on a plane where another plane was flying right alongside and you basically race to the runway. Along this stretch, you can see the planes lining up for miles and watch them come in side by side. Your view of the entire tarmac is uninterrupted so you can see them taxi and see the other planes lining up to take off, which is also in pairs of two. It reminded me of stories during the Berlin airlift. Along the path is a Starbucks (thankfully not a Philz) and outside they put some Adirondack chairs to watch the world go by. SF is a particularly gorgeous city with a thousand stunning vistas, but this one might just be my favorite. If you have a flight out of town, maybe go an hour or so early and meditate. It is only a 5 minute drive from the terminals. Seriously.
Betty came to town for a couple days and then we drove down to LA to see her family....dog and mom survived. I wouldn't recommend buying it, but the rig we rented for this trip was a Jeep Compass. Drove fine, was a bit ergonomically wonky inside but looks bitchin'. I definitely put the Ass in Jeep Compass.
The drive to LA is another annual trip and the highlights are always a drive through Gilroy to pick up some garlic peanuts, counting how many trucks full of tomatoes we'd see (115) and the game of asking "is that you?" as we pass by Harriss Ranch (aka Cowschwitz) and their heard of 10,000 cattle. Also a highlight is the obligatory stop at Vim for Thai Food...a family tradition since 1991.
After LA, we sent B-doll up to Seattle while Betty and took a 5 day trip to Chicago. Will save that for another day and time.
Gonna finish up today with a crotch rot update. Obligatory warning that this will be crude.
Since last time, the diaper rash has improved a bit in the areas that were affected, but it has also migrated, crossing the landbridge that is the taint and up the butt crack. It's a freaking abattoir down there. Abattoir is a great word. It then defied gravity and jumped up to viciously attacked my arm pits. Am still battling all of these hot spots with every ointment the drug store has to offer. Raised my arms in the mirror today and my armpits looked like Rocky's eyes after his first bout with Apollo Creed. 'Cut me Mick'
That's not all. While this rot is concentrated in all the crevices that are dark and sweaty, another annual tradition has come into play. I know that I go on and on about how shitty the weather is here, but there has to be something more than just heat and humidity going on. Since we returned one month ago, there has not been a single day where the temperature did not have a high of at least 104. All gawdamnday long. When we go to and from this place, and to and from the cool climes of the Northern California or PNW, it takes a week or two but certain body changes occur that I have a hard time understanding. Each year upon returning to the States, my hands will peel. Fingers, back of hand and palm will shed in sheets. Doesn't hurt, but is just kinda gross. What happens when we come back here? Glad you asked...my meat and potatoes will start itching uncontrollably. Not all day, only when I go to bed. I will wake up and it'll be itchy. Think that I must go at them initially in my sleep cause they are on fire. I should just get up and put on the Benadryl cream, which seems to help, but lie there in a half coma scratching them mercilessly until I cant stands no more. This morning in the light of day, I took a close look at it and it has the exact same color and texture of an AM/PM pepperoni stick that is past its sell by date. I don't know if they are national, but there is a company that sells dried meats called Oh Boy Oberto. I went to look for a clip that says their trademark "Oh Boy' line to add to the end of this post, but found this amazingly poignant commercial of theirs instead. Enjoy.
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