Hey there,
Since it has been a while, thought an update on what's what with us would be appropriate.
The Boy is now in his final year at Virginia...I haven't seen his grades but sources say they are decent. He only has to take two classes second semester, so that is going to save us a few bucks. He doesn't tend to volunteer a lot of personal info but indicates that the social life in Covid times is not great. He hangs out in his group house and cooks a ton of food. I asked if there are wild parties and he said that while he doesn't attend, that he's heard of a few and that people are being suspended if they are found to not be abiding by the distancing rules.
His school, like many others, is shutting down at T-giving, so we got him a visa to come to Taiwan for a couple of months. The visa process to get in here can best be described as arduous. Betty really wants him home so she took the lead, but the amount of documents that we had to send around the planet to get it were many. He has to quarantine for 15 days upon arrival and while we have an empty bedroom, I didn't want him and his lousy Trump flu anywhere near me so we arranged for an Air BnB. It'll be nice to have him around...he hasn't been to Taiwan since he left in 2017. Hoping he does some cooking for us and look forward to learning a few things
The biggest news about the Boy is that he got a j-o-b. He interned with a company over last summer but did it all remotely. That company has a program where interns can apply for jobs upon graduation and he was fortunate to get one. This is most unbelievable to me as I didn't even think about a job after college until after college. The kid has a good paying gig for June in hand, and it comes with all the bells and whistles, even including a pension plan. Damn. Of course we are delighted about it and in speaking to a friend and telling them about this good fortune, she said that we must be happy that he is "coming off the books". Thought that was a great way to look at it. I use a lot of sports metaphors to describe life and even when my kids were doing well in school or whatever, I tried to never brag or even talk much about their accomplishments cause to me, parenting is like a drive in football. You start out at your own 20 and have to work your way down the field. Sometimes you get a 1st down, or a penalty that sets you back, maybe even a turnover. But if you are running free to the end zone, you never spike the ball to you cross the goal line. I'd say that for The Boy, we're in the Red Zone.
As for Babydoll, she is 4 years younger so has her sights set on graduating High School in May. Last time I wrote, think she was finishing up a killer internship. The Fall semester is always busy for her as it is when the dance production is scheduled. With the weirdness that is school these days, our school has scaled back on some events. While they did a dance thing, it was a bit less structured and not as time consuming. They did a series of individual pieces instead of a full production, but they were connected as being inspired by current events and how they related to school, and was called An Unconventional Day.
My understanding of the dance movements and how they should be interpreted is still in the 'what the hell was that' range, but I do appreciate the effort and talent of the girls and choreographers.
That last one is with her fellow dancer and friend...she was her first friend here and they are still tight as sisters. It is a true gift to have a friend like that and one that will be with her forever.
So you know...Taiwan is over 200 days since a case of the Covid has been transmitted locally, yet the school requires masks be worn at all times other than when actively competing in sports or things like dance and music.
Her senior year has seen Babydoll continue to do well in her classes. We had our last Parent-Teacher conferences last week and while we have always had good reports about both kids from their teachers, the ones this time were over the top. Apparently, our daughter is equal parts Mother Teresa and Marie Curie. Nice to hear, seriously...amazing to hear, but I know better than to consider doing a dance over a 1st down. All good, but here is an anecdote one shared that I found room for improvement. This teacher was talking about a lab exercise early in the semester and remarked at how a group of boys (it's always the boys), left their station a mess at the end of class. Teacher said she appreciated that B-doll stayed after to clean up their mess as the boys had fled the scene. While that was a nice thing to do to help the teacher, I asked if B-doll followed up the next class and berated those punks. Apparently not. Raising girls in this age is tricky...you want them to be fierce and smart, but worry that getting in the face of men like I advocated above could limit them as they would be considered a bitch. The line that women have to navigate is narrow and while I want to say for them to go for it, know that the world doesn't quite work that way. To be continued...
The real trick to first semester of senior year for these kids is that in addition to all of their school activities, they have to get through the college application process. There are hundreds of schools to consider and narrow down to the ones that you will apply. Those applications are not pieces of cake either. Watching B-dolls process as compared to the Boy's couldn't be more different. He seemed to barely do anything...work on his apps, consider all the options, etc, while girly-o has multiple drafts of everything and submitted most of her applications on the first day they were allowed to be sent. Her greatest power is that she does not procrastinate. I am not gonna say that Betty is one, but the Boy and I are both legendary procrastinators. Watching someone attack their projects, and seeing the freedom of mind that comes when your work is all done in advance makes me envious. I don't think that can be taught...I know I didn't teach her...but that it is one of those things that is hard wired in the brain. Anyway, she doesn't want to publicize where she wants to go to anyone, so will keep the specifics under wraps but will share when we have a decision. To continue my football analogy, I would say for her that we are 2nd and 4 on our opponents 48 yard line and all the plays in the playbook are available.
As for Betty, she is still physically grounded. Last time I wrote was in August and it was already the longest we've been in the same place in a decade. How is she doing with it? Watching her move about the house is like going to the zoo and observing the big cats in their pen. They will pace back and forth and while they seem sedate, you can feel that they'd claw you a new one if they could. Then they nap and groom themselves the rest of the time. Gotta make sure to feed her some raw meat regularly...Lion Tamer is not an occupation that was in our wedding vows.
In seriousness, she seems OK all things considered, but there are signs that all is not well. For example, she does the dishes after dinner. I know that doesn't sound like a big thing, but I don't remember her ever doing the dishes with any sense of regularity. Of course, I am still doing them too as I have to re-wash half of them later, but still...should I be concerned?
The big news on her end is that they officially asked her to stay on here for two additional years. That is breaking news as she just heard yesterday. She was pretty puffed up as they recognized her work in changing the scope of her job on the fly during this weirdness with a few extra bucks. While we are way more fortunate than most, the uncertainty of a job that cannot be done as planned and not knowing where we were gonna be was weighing on her, so to have some clarity is a relief. We were scheduled to come home in June of 2021 seeing as how both kids are gonna be in the States, but now, we have some work to do in figuring out what will be what. Another TBD.
As for yours truly, since we have no real virus restrictions here, my day to day is virtually unchanged. Don't remember if I mentioned but for the first season (of four) of school sports, I took off from baseball and coached middle school boys volleyball. That season ended a couple weeks ago and have to say that it was a great experience. I played volleyball in PE in high school and a few times on the beach over the years, but never in any competitive form. What I did was to shadow the head coach of the top team during all his practices to learn all the lingo and coaching strategies and think I did a serviceable job. There is one team of all the good boys...the ones that will play varsity in high school, and then four teams of less skilled boys that are out to learn the game and stay busy after school, and I got one of those. We were not able to play off campus teams this year, but we played each other a ton and in the year end tournament amongst ourselves, my squad ran the table. Would never say it was all me, but partially for sure.
Volleyball is a lot different to coach than baseball. For one, it was in an air conditioned gym, which in August and September as you will see below is not to be undervalued. Another great thing about volleyball is that you show up at the appointed time, roll out the balls and get going. For baseball, there is 10 minutes of gear set-up and take down at each end of practice. And in volleyball, there are three skills to teach...serving, setting and spiking. Everything flows off from those three skills so you can hone in on things to work on. Baseball has so much to teach...what every position needs to do on every pitch is different based on the number of outs, guys on base, the type of hitter, pitcher, weather, etc. I think baseball is the hardest sport to become competent as the amount of time and practice before things become instinctual has to be the longest. Am willing to be wrong and would love to debate it. Another thing that makes baseball the best is the chit chat. There is no built in time for the BS in any other team sport I can think of...that may not be your thing, but it is what makes it special in my book.
We're in season 2 now and have 2 to 4 days of baseball practice every week. Tons of fun and the weather is just right for it. I also was asked to help out coaching badminton, so I get to work with the beginner high school girls once a week. It's a big step for the school to let me coach the girls cause I am a bit unorthodox as a coach to the school. All the other coaches are teachers and have a similar way they deal with students. Watching the other coaches, they have a teacher-student relationship that is good of course, but as a civilian, I come at the kids differently and in school minds, different is scary. If I had to put a bird on it, would say that I relate to them more as a peer as a (much) older brother. As this is my first time coaching girls, it'll be interesting to see how I react to them anc vice versa. Will admit to being a bit nervous as to how 14-15 year old girls will treat me and know they could slay me.
This is the place where I get to tell you about my badminton experience. Doesn't come up in conversation often, but in high school, I was on the school team and went undefeated my senior year. That is what I say, but as I dig into my memories, don't think I played senior year as I did a study abroad the second semester and missed that season. Also, I think that I was on the JV team in my junior year. The undefeated thing that year is totally accurate though, and as a badminton player in So.Cal, my opponents were all Asian, so being undefeated in that environment is not to be dismissed cause Asians are into badminton. I did lose one match of mixed doubles that year and that was only because my partner was awful that day and I had chicken pox that was to manifest itself the next day but didn't know it. For reasons lost to time, my dad outlined a badminton court in the driveway in the back of our house. I have no idea why he would do that as I never saw anyone else ever play on it and am sure he had no history of being a badminton player. My guess is that he put it in cause there wasn't room for a tennis court. Whatevs...I played on that court with whatever friend I could find for years and by the time high school came around, had all the shots. I do not ever remember being coached on 'how' to properly play technically as our practices were simply playing games to determine seedings for that weeks matches against other schools. Now that I have to coach, am learning all the names of the different shots for the first time. I bought a racquet the other day and broke it out at practice on Friday. Was clunky to start, but it didn't take long for the muscle memories to kick in and was ripping shots that surprised me. My knees were burning after and could not get to a lot of the shots, but the court is not big and am able to cover most of it with a step or two. So much fun and am pumped to have this nugget in my life cause badminton is such an awesome sport. It gets dismissed for whatever reason, but it is so fast and hitting a shuttlecock has no equivalent in any other sport I can think of.
It has been so long since I was in this space that I didn't get to take a victory lap at having survived our first full summer here. The weather broke in mid-September, and while we have an occasional hot day (yesterday was 100 for instance), most are delightful. October is one of the best times to be here and I am more than happy for it to be colder than this for the next few months.
When I say survived, I do mean it literally as the possibility of severe heat stroke is real. The first month or so at school, there was a heat related issue with sports at the school. They never stopped playing due to extreme heat, but there was an issue with the artificial turf fields...from a school advisory message:
THE LF TURF (HOT TOPIC): If the turf gets too hot and coaches/athletics faculty/admin notice the turf melting onto shoes, we will cease activity on the field. That is the current guidance. If we ask people to vacate the field, please cooperate. We have limited indoor spaces but if there are spaces available, we will move practices indoors when possible.
Jeez, right? I know you believe me when I talk about this stuff, but giving real examples maybe helps you understand and it makes me feel better in getting it out
OK...I intend on getting back here soon and weekly. Left a bunch out but it's getting long. As I hit post, Biden was declared the winner a couple hours ago. I don't expect 45 to be magnanimous in any way and think our best realistic hope would be for him to not go out with a flame thrower. In a best case scenario, he would come out and advocate for mask wearing for all. That is literally the least I can hope for as it may mellow out his supporters so we all don't keep killing each other with this shit.
Oh yeah...I have a major crush on Kamala. She has so many firsts associated to her now, but one I don't hear much is that she is the first Prez/Vice-pres to be from my generation...X. We cannot claim to be The Greatest Generation, but damn if we ain't the Coolest.
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