November 10th, 2021 Q12

Hey there,

Q12

I know it seems like I am two days away (it is currently Wednesday morning), but I don't get freed until Sunday .  It can be 12:01am on Sunday, but somehow, have four more days in here.  Math isn't my strong suit and who am I to argue math with Asians?

One thing I am gonna have to work on is how I eat.  They deliver food at exactly the same times, and if it is two minutes past that time, am looking through the peephole.  Not that I am ever excited about what the meal is, cause I can only stomach parts of it sometimes, it is just that it was so easy to be trained like a dog that it is dinnertime.  The other thing is that I eat the food like a dog...pouncing on it and swallowing it with barely chewing.  Not a great way to eat and need to make a conscious effort to slow it dowwwwwwwwn..

The other day, a friend of mine sent me a link to a podcast that had his son as a guest who was promoting his own upcoming podcast.  This was the first time I used the word meta correctly. I like this kid and so spent some time listening to it.  He is quite likeable, but every time he started a sentence, it began with "Ummm".  I would normally let it go, but since I like him, thought that he needed to hear it cause it makes you sound dumb.  Just like "like", which is more of a girl thing.  Of course it is a device the brain uses to allow it time to collect what you want to say, but is something to get out of your speech pattern should you be speaking in public.

I use "fuckin'" in a similar way.  Look at that fuckin' guy or, the employees at the fuckin' mailbox are fuckin' idiots.  Something to work on cause it is unneeded.  One of the things about going to multiple Yo La Tengo shows in a town is that you start to recognize people from the day before.  There are usually a couple points in a Yo La Tengo show where the music will stop so they can collect their thoughts, get a drink, maybe say 'Hello Cleveland', and in Portland, there is a guy (there is always this guy) that yells stuff.  He did it at every opportunity and I know it was the same guy cause we are close to each other.  Each time he yells things like 'we love you' or 'you're awesome', he adds fuckin' to it.  Fuckin' love you!.  I turned to him the second night and asked, 'do you have to say fuckin' every time?'  Yes, I am that guy.

Moving on.  This summer I had a weird realization about myself.  Betty left for Taiwan early in September and my flight back was for late October.  Got to thinking about it and there was not a single time I was really alone in a living environment for more than a night.  Of course as a child with parents, always then had roommates in college and with people after that.  Then along comes marriage and baby in a baby carriage.  Betty traveled a ton, but there was always a kid in the house.  Now was going to be in the condo solo for almost two months (and now this 14 day quarantine).  Pretty weird I thought and started to share this with others and got a bunch of tilted heads.  No one ever said they experienced the same.  Thoughts of 'What if I choked on a meatball or something?', started coming to mind.  

I don't think I did poorly, but not having another heartbeat in the place was strange.  When I wanted to share a thought or get a second opinion or try out one of my 'little comments', there wasn't someone there to roll their eyes.  I missed those eye rolls.  It only took about 24 hours before I turned into late stage Hef and exist in a robe where the belt was more decorative than functional.  Eating alone was the worst time, probably the saddest.  Had to make an extra effort to get out to see people and that helped.  As you could tell from yesterday, went to a bunch of shows, but went to more than a few of them alone cause my taste doesn't sync up too closely with others, and my friends are getting old...not geriatric, but they aren't going to too many late night shows anymore.

One thing that did fill the void was baseball.  A buddy of mine coaches youth baseball and he had a team of 9 year olds that I got to pitch in to help for a few weeks.  Anyone that likes sports usually has one they consider superior to all others, and there is really no wrong answer to the question as to which is your favorite.  Except rugby of course...that shit is for Neanderthals. Let me make a partial case for being a baseball fan.

My buddy ToCo is a trip.  He still pitches in over 50 leagues, chain smokes, and enjoys picking weeds cause it helps his grip.  He coaches a club team and starts when they are 8 and keeps them into Middle School.  I get out there and it is a bunch of squirrely 9 year olds, all head cases, and they are pure joy.  And they can pitch...never seen anything like it.  8 of the 12 can get up and throw strikes, which we can't get at the HS level here in TW, and they all want the ball.  We're in a couple of tournaments and win a lot of games.  Just miss out on the finals of one of them by run differential, and win the whole shebang  at the year end tournament.  It has been since forever since I got to hold a big ass trophy.

The other coach in the photo above is ToCo's son, who is one of The Boy's best friends and who we met in Little League and have remained friends since.  That kid plays college ball at NYU and has it bad for baseball.  If I look back on my parenting accomplishments, instilling a love of baseball in the Boy is one of my finer moments.  The place he lives in Durham is across the street from the Durham Bulls stadium and he says he goes all the time.  

You can argue about what sport is better to play, but I defy you to argue that there is a better sport from a lifestyle perspective.  Skill wise, all sports demand practice and all that and they all have merit.  What no other sport has is the dugout.  If you've spent time in one, you know.  It is a sanctuary where no one not on the team is allowed in and so there is a freedom there where things can be said and done .  Jokes, practical jokes, cheering, fights, commiseration in defeat and joy in victory.  I had a good long conversation with one kid about the best dumplings to get in town.  Another kid walks up to me, opens his mouth and mumbles he has 15 pieces of bubble gum in there.  Other team sports have benches and stuff, but not like baseball where every team I have ever been a part of has been unique and wonderful, sometimes awful, but always entertaining.  Am sitting in my spot in the dugout one game and hear the kids talking behind me.  One of them says to the other two, "Did you know that Coach ToCo smokes?  My dad saw him smoking the other day." and then another kid interjects, "Why do you care?"  

I mentioned these kids are all head cases right?  Hard for me to recall a player I've ever been on a team with that wasn't a goofball in some way and am certain they feel similarly about me, but on this team there is a kid that is way out there.  Kid couldn't do anything put pitch and he had a couple of big moments along the way, but mental in a non-harmful way.  At the end of the last tournament where we won, we had a post game chat where everyone was thanked and all, and at the very end of it all as we are breaking up, this kid comes up and gives me a giant hug and walks away.  Choked me up good.

Baseball is also unique in that it is everyday.  Am talking about MLB now.  It has been a soundtrack of my life ever since I can remember.  I remember listening to Dodger games on my little clock radio throughout my childhood.  Vinny, Jerry Doggett, Ross Porter for the Dodgers, and Dick Enberg for the Angels.  Every day/night.  Whenever I was lucky to get to a game as a kid, it was a magical experience in some way.  I don't remember sitting with my dad for three hours uninterrupted in any other setting.  Go to any other sport and you are engaged in yelling and music and all that and you are forced to engage throughout.  With baseball, it is so slow that there is plenty of time to really get into a conversation.  Tell me another sport where that is the case.  

I try to catch a few games every summer and with a lot of travel the last decade, seeing new stadiums was a goal, but this year, had plenty of time to spend getting to know the Mariners.  Now....the Mariners have been awful for years.  They haven't been to the playoffs since 2001, the longest playoff drought in professional sports by a decade.  Mariner fans are justifiably skeptical at this point and attendance is way off.  The good thing about that is that there are always good seats available and they have a lot of "value game" specials with tickets as cheap as 10 bucks.  We went a lot this summer, got 10 dollar seats and basically sat wherever we wanted.  If you are a kid sneaking into the good seats, they bust you fast, but for a couple of old timers like us, we had the run of the joint.  We'd sit in about the same spot every time...in line with 3rd base about 10-20 rows up.  So the bus costs $2.75 and ticket is 10 bucks.  Grab a reggae dog before the game and you have a full entertainment experience for 20 bucks.  

There are some stalls outside the stadium that sell dogs and stuff, but we always go to Al's as they pump hard core reggae all the time.

I get a spicy Polish with cream cheese and jalapenos

I went a bunch with ToCo and many with another buddy who is currently between jobs.  And I went a couple of times alone and that was OK too.  One game we are sitting there and it is late in a tight game, and there is a 20-something lady in a group behind us that is scream swearing up a storm.  This lady was a virtuoso with the curse words.  In front of us are a group of boys, 10ish, and at one point one of them turns around and yells at the lady "There are kids here".  She's loaded and undeterred, and as the M's are working on the last couple outs, she gets up and delivers my favorite line of the season,  In full throat she screams..."Strike this pussy OUT!"  

Another game we are watching these two ladies getting drunker and drunker and moving around our section, and then they sit down next to us.  Talking to sloppy drunk ladies is the best and she has one of those clear plastic tote bags that are allowed into baseball games, and there are a 1/2 dozen airplane bottles of tequila clearly visible in it.  We ask how she got those into the game, and the sloppy drunk lady grabs her big sloppy breasts and says, "right here buddy".  

Went to a couple of games against the Red Sox and saw my first in the stands brawl.  Red Sox fans are the worst and we had a contest as to who could identify the douchy-est.  The easy winner was the hoodie wearing scraggily beard (the kind a guy grows when he can't grow a real beard) wearing a Curt Schilling jersey.  As for the brawl, was just too far away to hear what was said, but the Sox fan wearing a t-shirt a size too small amazingly didn't throw the first punch...it was the fleece wearing Seattle hippie dude that landed one right on  Boston bro's kisser.  Nice.  You see videos of these kinda brawls at football games all the time and the best part are the nasty women these brawlers have along with them trying to land haymakers.  This was no exception and the skanky Red Sox broad whiffed on a swing  and went flabby ass over saggy tit into the row in front her and came up covered in peanut shells.  .  Bonus entertainment for my 20 dollars.

And the Mariners were good.  They were in the wild card chase till the last day and towards the end, more people kept  showing up.  This is hard to explain, but at the top of the left field bleachers was a guy, a bit tubby, that would wear weird pajamas and dance between every inning waving two big heads of broccoli.  

The last weekend of the season, the Mariners were at home and it was becoming a thing in town and we wisely bought tix to the final homestand.  Those last three games sold out and that hadn't happened in a couple decades.  So fun and heartening to see the fans come out for the team.  

I could go on forever about baseball and hope to.  You know there is baseball in heaven as there is that story from the bible where God and Satan challenge each other to a baseball game, and God says his team is gonna win cause all the best players are in heaven and the Devil says that he will win cause he has all the umpires.    Have a few days more stuck here, but on Monday I get to go out to practice.  It pains me when I see articles about how baseball is dying.  That it is only for old fogies like me and is too slow for the kids.  Well kids are idiots...we need to listen to them now?  But not all of them.  As much as those takes on baseball's imminent demise are hard to hear, watching the 9 year olds this summer, or hearing an old friend of mine talk about how his 12 year old sleeps with his glove, or watching the love of the game these kids here in Taiwan have for it, I know there is hope for humanity.