Week of November 1st, 2013

The family and I were on an elevator the other day and it stops on a floor to let more people get on, and a little local kid (5ish) gets on, takes one look at me and runs behind his mother.  She grabs him and says something and they get on, but the whole time he is eyeballing me suspiciously.  Betty later translated what the mother said..."it's OK, he's just like Santa Claus.  Do all us white people look like Santa Claus to you?  How racist.  On the bright side, at least I look like someone famous.

Figuring out a new culture is like peeling an onion as some things are slowly revealed.  Have been perplexed by the pathological need for the locals to back into parking spots.  My working theory was that it was due to centuries (millennium?) of being forever vigilant to the need to get away from the invading hordes in an instant and that it was somehow built into their DNA.  When we got married, Betty told me that Chinese people like to give gold as a gift cause that is something you can grab and  carry with you if you are forced to flee.  Back to parking, I am not advocating one way over the other but personally, I think pulling in straight lowers the risk of damage to your/other cars, and is ultimately faster, but will decide which way based on the situation...traffic, size of space, etc.   One of the places where pulling in straight is always the right thing to do is at the Costco, obviously to be able to load in the huge bag of paper towels or giant box of Lucky Charms, but I'd say over 50% of the cars insist on backing in there (and then they pull into the road to load their crap and block traffic).  Anyway, I am in some random parking structure the other day, and when I get back to the car, there is this an official looking note on my windshield (that I can't read), but notice that none of the other cars have them so figure it wasn't an ad and was trying to tell me something.  I took it into Chinese class today, and the teacher tells me it says that I should have backed into the spot as it is safer so as to not hit pedestrians.  I know from experience that the use of rear view mirrors is not a regular habit of the Taiwanese, and it's obvious they don't give a shit about the pedestrians in general, but I am guessing that there must be some public service campaign to help reduce the number of people they run over, which finally explains this habit.

I haven't bitched about Chinese class much this year, mainly because the other students aren't pains in the ass.  It is a conversation class, so we learn words and phrases to use in situations that we find ourselves in...making reservations, dealing with taxi drivers, etc.  She will also pepper the dialogue with Chinese sayings from time to time...today's was about being married and whether to ditch the old wife for a younger model.  It goes...it is better to have an old enemy than a new friend.  It feels more poignant if you put 'Confucious say' in front and then say it with a bad Chinese accent.  Last week, it was my turn to suggest a topic to learn about, and having the maturity of a 12 year-old boy, I wanted to learn about the body and more specifically, bodily functions.  Snot, diarrhea, poop...funny in any language.  My favorite was the equivalent to saying bullshit in Chinese is gao pi, which translated means dog fart.  So useful.  Along that line is saying to someone pai nide ma pi, which is you pat the horse to make it fart.  This is calling someone a brown noser.  I told the teacher that by the end of this year, I want to be able to tell at least one joke in Chinese that is funny...they've had 4000 years of history, you'd think they would have come up with one by now.  I tried to translate a couple of my favorites this week and it went no where.  They were; if you don't like the weather in Taipei, wait 5 minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.  And...when someone tells you that something hurts, I will reply that 'your face is killing me'.  The expression on her face was priceless.  She asks the other students (Turkish, French and English)...'do people say that?'  From their reactions, that brand of humor doesn't travel past the American border. 

Was at a fancy store the other day, and an entire shelf of the refrigerated seafood section was devoted to the sale of fish heads.  I know they are into seeing them on the plate, and always thought it was to ensure that the fish was fresh, but what the hell do they do with just the head.  Sharing the below picture as he was the most colorful...

Hard to see the price, but for this head and tail, the cost was NT$312, which is 10 bucks US.  No gag here...just sayin'

Finally, Halloween is not a thing here (although it does fall on Chiang Kai Shek's b-day, so Betty had it off of work), but they do have parties in the elementary school classes at the American School, and the kids dress up and do goofy games.  Carolyn went as a boxer, but with the baggy boxer shorts, sleazy robe and white tank top, I suggested she throw a little pasta sauce on her tank and call herself an Italian wife beater.  She was not amused.

Week of October 25th, 2013

Couple of fun times were had this week.  On Wednesday evening, our buddy Mike (you may remember him from his doppelganger Chinese Spranger that sideswiped our car a couple weeks ago) came to town for work.  He came into train the local Expeditors office on something on Thursday before moving onto Thailand that night, so we had a few hours with him Wednesday evening.  So what can one expect to be shown of TPE in 4 hours?  Mike implied to us via email from his connecting airport that he was hungry and sore, so our first stop was for ramen at Ippudo (natch).  Spranger said he had never been for proper ramen before and it looked like it hit the spot.  Felt better to know that I was not the only human on earth that had never experienced this wonderful Japanese black art before and was glad to be the one to share this delicacy with him.  He seemed to enjoy it and it filled the hole in his belly. 

Then we had to address his "soreness", so it was onto to our neighborhood for a late night foot massage.  Our local place takes customers up to 11PM, which fit our limited schedule.  Betty and Mike settled in for an hour of some paw manipulation.  They do work you over pretty good and about 45 minutes in, Mike said that he would be OK if it was over at that point, but he didn't dare tell them that as the  masseuses were star struck with him.  They (really the ambiguously gay masseur) kept telling (through Betty's translation) him what a good looking white man he was and wondered if he was some movie star, so Mike's ego was thoroughly stroked.  For the rest of the night, I kept calling him Tom Cruise.  Actually, referred to him as such with a Chinese accent...Tom-a Cruise-a.  They were so smitten that they asked for a photo.  I swear, if I see this framed and displayed in their wall of fame on our next visit, am gonna hurl.

I didn't join them for the massage, mainly cause they hurt me more than making me feel better, but also as I wanted to play with my new iPod that Mike muled over for me.  I bought the Classic, with 160gb of space a few weeks back in anticipation of his visit, so was hanging out with them during their rub down to play with it.  It is so great...put everything I hve on iTunes onto it (85gb, 8900 songs and just about a month of continuous music).  So far, have just hit 'shuffle all' and am hearing things in my collection that I had only played a couple times, but didn't really appreciate the first time around.  Love it love it love it so much.  Combine it with the new HTC One phone, that can live stream almost any radio station on the planet, my subscription to NFL Game Pass and Netflix, and now being tuned in properly is now complete.  We live in a truly great time.

The other good time was at the TAS Food Fair on Saturday.  I was kinda bitching about the workload and disorganization of it the other day, but the day of was a great time.  Tons of work for yours truly...got there at 6:30AM to set-up the three drink booth stands, and a lot of hustling throughout the day keeping them supplied and staffed, and then tearing down till about 4p, but it is a day long party with everyone you know being there.  The Fair is a huge deal in town as there are not only food offerings are from all corners of the planet (some being excellent...can't remember the last time I had a falafel), but there were also games, crafts, a Haunted House, etc.  I think they estimated the crowd at 8,000 and at prime time, there was a 20 minute wait to get in and bus loads of people were getting dropped off.   The Netherlands booth didn't have the best food, really, when was the last time you wanted to go eat Dutch unless you didn't want to pay the whole bill, but their workers definitely had the best looking outfits...had a  Catholic school uniform meets Hamish farm girl vibe. 

I have to call out how awesome the family was in helping.  Carolyn took a shift as the 5th graders got to use helping at the booths as part of their 10 hours of service they are all required to give.  Betty and Paul offered to take a two hour shift, but I mentioned to Paul the night before that I could use some help early (6AM on a Saturday) moving drinks and such.  He was reluctant when I went to bed, but as I'm getting ready to head out, he wakes up and tells me he's coming along.  One of his female friends was there early too, so his motivation to give dad a hand might not have been pure, but his help was invaluable.  Then he and Betty took over the main booth from 9-11am.  Their booth was in the middle of the main food section and it did 3 times the business the other two booths did combined, and they were busting it from the opening bell.  At 11, their "adult" volunteer replacement didn't show, and they hung in there through the lunch rush from 11-1pm.  Paul had also enlisted a couple of his buddies to help too, so they were having a work party.

Then, the 1PM replacement parent didn't show either, so Betty was tabbed for another shift.  That's a lot of work for both of them and while I think they had a good time, I was still very grateful for their efforts.  Toward the end of the fair, some booths had a bunch of food leftover, so we took home a huge pile of samosas for a couple bucks, and the bake sale gave Paul a big bag of goodies that didn't sell, so we had a relatively free dinner.  As we sat around eating our bounty for dinner, we all got to share our collective experiences from the day of hard work.  After dinner, we turned off the lights and watched the latest episode of our favorite family guilty pleasure show, NCIS.  We have done a lot of cool things together, but cannot remember a more satisfying family day. 

Since I'm blowing smoke, have to puff a little more about Paul.  We had our parent-teacher conferences with his on Thursday.  So far, he is pulling in straight A's, but the impressive part is how all of the teachers say how much they love him.  They all appreciate his energy and humor, and how much they enjoy him being in their class.  Apparently, he tells the English teacher jokes and says to her that he wishes he could tell her more inappropriate ones.  He goes into her class early and writes one on the chalkboard every morning.  Genius.  Am sure the fact that she's cute helps with the motivation.  She said that she was out with another one of his (female) teachers the night before and were talking about how they have a mutual admiration for him.  Am so damn envious of the kids way with the chicks.

Finally, I mentioned a few weeks ago that Carolyn is on a new (and improved) soccer team this year.  The parents of the girls saw a need for their own club, so a few us got together and formed one called the Taipei Heartbreakers.  We hired a professional coach and fill in the assistant ranks with very high quality parent coaching.  It is a terrific organization and the girls are really liking it while getting good instruction.  My role is in team communications, but was also a consultant on the uniform design.  I did very little work in sourcing a vendor or working with the designer, but did have a little input on the color scheme and some of the trim design.  We had our first game last Sunday, and while the girls played well, they looked awesome.  I truly believe these are the best looking uniforms for a female team that I have ever seen.

 

Week of October 18th, 2013

Kind of an unusual week socially.  I was contacted by two "friends of friends" that just moved to Taipei that asked to meet to have me tell them what I know about Taipei, so had a couple of lunches with mini-tours of the neighborhood.  Couple of nice fellas.  One whose wife is here working for 3M with a couple kids at the American school.  The other is an old college Deadhead friend's friend and we have high hopes for him.  Is really into music and is also a big baseball fan.  He also has a couple kids at the American school and he and his wife both work for the State Department.  I even talked him into helping me out at the Food Fair next weekend.

The big PTA fundraiser in the Fall is the Food Fair held at the school and it is a pretty good scene.  Being an international school, there is a wide variety of cultures in the school community and therefore are a lot of food options represented...all the bright stars one would want; Thai, Indian, Italian and Mexican.  You also get those cuisines that are like brown dwarfs...stars that had insufficient mass to ignite...like German and Russian.  Last year, I stood behind a grill and cooked dogs in searing heat for the "American" booth for 4 hours.  Not a good time, but I volunteered to help out with whatever this year cause it seemed like the right thing to do.  Was asked if I could run the drinks booth and said sure.  Was great actually, cause all you sell is water and Coke products and it's a piece of cake.  What they sprung on me this week is they are going to increase the number of drink booths at the fair from 1 to 3, so now have gone from a small business owner to running a chain restaurant...envision something like Pollos Hermanos.  So have had to scramble to find volunteers to help fill the booths for 5 hours, plan set-up and such, which has cut into my MLB playoff watching enjoyment a bit (currently, Dodgers down 3-2 going back to STL.)  The most frustrating part is that the organizer is one of the types that likes to think through everything out loud...so annoying.  I appreciate that she is also a volunteer and that it's a huge job, but the position needs someone that is more authoritative.  Am happy to help, just tell me what you want and save me the inner workings of your mental process.  I don't dare say anything though or they'll have me running the show next year. 

Last Saturday, was invited to go out with some folks to sample one of the $100 plate restaurants downtown.  Pretty simple concept...minimally decorated beer hall that serves a variety of food dishes that cost $100 (US$3.50) along with a choice of fresh fish that they steam whole (costs a bit more than $100).  Along the back wall are huge beer fridges where you go grab your own bottles (NT80/US$2.80 for a 750ml bottle) and just eat and booze the night away.  In our party (of 9) was an executive chef at a local fancy hotel, and he selected the fish.  You can kind of see the fish offerings in this photo.

That photo makes the place look pretty classy actually...good colors.  Took this with my new phone, and HTC One, which I totally love.  Decided to move away from the iBrands due to the crappy battery life and into the Android.  Thought that getting a Samsung was cliché and the new HTC (a Taiwanese company) was getting great reviews.  Time will tell if the lifespan is any better, but so far, the functionality is excellent and it is a dream ergonomically.

We had some adventurous food orderers who chose some "treats" like steamed pork bellies, spicy fried cuttlefish, and BBQ squid along with some more familiar offerings like eggplant and tofu.  The familiar things were good while I was mixed on the stuff outside of my comfort zone, but that is the fun of it, no?  We all agreed to go with Taiwan Beer, which I've grown way to fond of.  The 9 of us drank 43 bottles...just over two crates.

I didn't take that photo...someone with an iPhone did...and have the same damn rotating issue with it.  Another reason I am happy to have changed brands.   The next day, we all agreed that we should have stopped at 40 bottles.  Cannot remember the last time I've had such a raging hangover. 

A highlight of the night was the balloon animal guy that came in and was gifted in the art of making erotic balloon art.  Was too lit to remember to take snaps of the penis hat.  But I was coherent enough to get a picture of the highlight of the evening (for me anyway)...the Taiwan Beer Girl.

Check out that two handed simultaneous pour.  The glasses were the little shot glass kind, so this is harder than it looks.  And she did not spill a single drop.  Add in the TW Beer cheer leading outfit, her (unusual for a Chinese) dimples, and more than my share of 43 bottles of beer, and I felt like I had found a future mother for my children (should that need unexpectedly arise of course).

Finally for this week, have to share some recent conversations with Carolyn (now age 10).  She has a friend that she's been pretty tight with so far, and I asked her the other day if she wanted to invite her for a sleepover.  She said that she hasn't been getting along great with her recently as this friend is getting into boys.  Carolyn was feeling pressured by this girl to find a boy that she "liked".  It was a nice moment that she still feels comfortable talking about this stuff with me, and hearing that her attitude was that she feels too young for that kind of thing.  A couple days later, Care volunteers that she told this friend that there was a boy she kinda/sorta liked and that this friend immediately started "liking" this boy too.  I have heard of this proclivity amongst some females, but the fact it is rearing its ugly head at 10 years old really grossed me out.  So far, I like her attitude towards the whole situation but really fear for the peer pressure she is going to face for the next what...decade.  Longer?  I pray that we are instilling the right mind set that will allow her to cope with it successfully, but am open to any tips those of you with older daughters might want to share.  The other morning, am on Skype with my buddy talking football when Paul wakes up and kinda joins the conversation.  My buddy asks Paul (now age 14) if there are girls he likes and he says no.  I say, what about that girl so and so I see you hanging around with sometimes, she looks cute, and Paul replies "yeah, but she is always depressed" and so is keeping his distance.  So far so good with that one.

Week of October 11th, 2013

Couple of 'firsts' this week.  First...had my first experience with ramen.  Was talking to a buddy who was raving about a ramen place, so we reserved a night and booked the ladies to go check it out.  As I'm walking in, had to confess to the group that I had never had ramen before...that includes the little bag of instant noodles that the kids eat and people (Walter White included) claim to have lived off of in college.  Seems bizarre no?  We went to Ippudo and it was delicious.  Big bowl of noodles with pork, seaweed, mushrooms, and an egg...ordered spicy.  Of course I know about sushi and teriyaki, but how did I miss an entire genre of Japanese cuisine for so long.  Apparently, there is a whole ramen culture and the way the broth is prepared and the ingrediants are marinated is considered an art form.  At Ippudo, they also offered other treats.  I enjoyed the mini pork sandwich but absolutely loved the spicy sizzling tofu soup.  Have been craving it ever since.  Add to the mix the big bottles of Asahi served in shot glasses and you have yourself just about the perfect dining experience.  They just opened a branch of another popular ramen place called Ramen Nagi around the corner and know that I will soon be descending deep into the black art that is Japanese ramen.

The second event of the week was being involved in my first car accident in Taiwan.  Driving Betty to work and at exactly 7:45, and we pull up to a line of cars stopped for a red light.  As soon as our car rolls to a stop, we hear and feel another car scraping along the drivers side of our rig.  The dip shit rolls down his window and I motion to him to pull it over to the side.  As we pull over, a third car does the same.  Turns out that the guy tried to split the gap between me and the third car and clipped us both.  The reason I know it was 7:45 is that it was recorded on our dashboard cam.  Was able to upload some of the videos from the SD card and here is the event...it's at the end of this one and the only way you can tell it was an accident is the car shaking a little bit. 

This next video is of us all pulling over.  Not terribly exciting except that at the end, you can see the dude getting out of his car.  His appearance reminds me of my friend Spranger, only the Chinese version, and we will refer to him going forward as Chinese Spranger. 

In the movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, there is a scene at the bar where they identify celebrity look-a-likes from other nationalities...Brazilian Billy Bob Thornton and Native American Joe Pesci.  Funny scene and a decent movie.  We play this game a lot.

So we pull over and call the cops...the people that leased us the car said to do that and then call them.  A scooter cop shows up and we all run through our version of events.  Thank my lucky stars that Betty was in the car and could do the translation thing (and also to witness that it no way was I at fault cause I know she would consider me guilty until proven innocent).  I do know that if she wasn't there that I could ask the cop to send a Foreign Affairs officer that speaks English to help me out.  She hears the Chinese Spranger claiming it was my fault as I started moving when he was in front and scratched him.  What a dick...not only did I have Betty as a witness, but also the other guy he hit and our dashboard camera. 

The scooter cop then calls an incident cop who arrives in a nasty looking Toyota of some kind.  He goes through the group interview process again and takes our dashboard cam SD card to his car to review.  He comes back and proceeds to encourage us to settle the claim on the spot.  I had read about this cultural trait before we moved where most fender benders are resolved on the spot by the two parties where guilt is assigned and money is exchanged.  I learned this week that most people do not have car insurance and this method works better to stay out of the eyes of the law and keeps costs down.  As we are in a lease situation, no way does that work for us.  I think it would be way easier for the cop to avoid work, which was his motivation for us to settle.

After that, we all get called separately to be interviewed by the cop in his cruiser...our conversation recorded on his smart phone.  His nasty on the outside looking Toyota was worse on the inside...smelled of BO and was full of food an other junk, like he was living out of it.  I asked him what the video showed and he said (through Betty) that it was totally Chinese Sprangers fault.  By this time, the guy who leased us the car had arrived and got all the details from the cop so he could figure out how to get money out of the dude.  While this whole process took close to three hours, all in all it was a pretty painless event.  The car goes in on Monday to be repaired and I don't have to do a thing.  Well, I do now have to go and obtain a Taiwanese drivers license cause the International one is only valid for a year.  If you want to share what I'm up against, you can take a practice test here.  I taken (and failed) it twice. 

One more thing on the road topic...since this was the first time I've seen the output of the video cam, thought I 'd share the below clip so you can get a glimpse of what we battle every day.  This is an example of the d-bags that sweep around in front of the left turn lane cars and inch into oncoming traffic in an effort to save 5 seconds.  Buttholes

I hope this video upload thing works, cause I can't wait to show you more.

Finally for today, have a couple of household tips that I recently learned that are quite useful and want to share.  First, when you buy a bag of potatoes, to help delay the time when they start growing eyes, put an apple in the bag with them.  Works like a charm.  Second, when we were visiting my mom this summer (and doing laundry at her place), she said to make sure and zip up the fly on shorts and pants as it will reduce the strain on those seams during the agitation processes in the washer and dryer.  Thanks mom...learn something from you every time we talk.

Week of October 4th, 2013

Things you see and don't see 'round here. 

I never see money on the ground.  With busted up knees and feet, I have to keep my eyes towards the ground as to avoid uneven pavement else I will go crashing to the ground.  As the AARP age less than two years way, a busted hip becomes a growing concern.  With a constant scan of the ground happening, not only do I rarely step in gum or doggy poop, but in the States, am always picking up loose change and the occasional bill.  Am a true believer in the 'find a penny' superstition and think it's the reason I've made it this far.  But here, have never seen a single coin of any denomination.  The smallest is a 1 dollar coin, which equates to about 3.5 cents.  Are the Taiwanese much more guarded with their money, or are the Americans far more careless with theirs?

Birds are a creature that I feel you should see a lot more of in such a tropical environment.  While you see them, you don't see a lot of them.  I have previously speculated that the reason for that is they become the daily special at the multitude of crispy chicken stands, but that is probably just another racist stereotype coming out.  And I don't think they have crows here...at least I haven't noticed one and have not been woken up by their horrible caws once.  The relative absence of birds then translates into a complete lack of bird poop on the car.  I made a note in my book on Wednesday to add this to my post this week, and what happens when I'm driving around yesterday?  Huge dump right on the front window. 

I've written previously about all of the stray dogs around town.  Last year, we were amazed at not only how many there were, but how well behaved and smart they were.  The number of them is always attributed to dog owners tiring of their animals and kicking them out into the street, which probably accounts for their proper training.    When we returned from the States in August, we immediately noticed they were nowhere to be seen.  We at first speculated that since it was so hot, that they were simply beating the heat in the shade.  When the kids went back to school, they heard from their chums that there was an outbreak of rabies and the local authorities had rounded them all up.   Further conversations confirm such an outbreak, but not that there has been a mass round-up (and possible slaughter) of the little guys.  Kinda makes me sad thinking about it and totally pissed at the horrible creatures that abandon their pets. 

Another rarity around town is seeing a panhandler.  I was hit up the other day (guy said he was Indonesian and needed bus money), and it struck me that this was only the second time I've been asked for change.  Since I look like I don't speak the language, they might not feel like hitting me up is worth it, however, I've never seen someone looking for change at an intersection nor homeless people pushing their belongings in shopping carts.  I only hope the authorities don't have the same policy with them as they do the stray dogs.

While I don't see many homeless sleeping in alleyways or under bridges, you see a lot of people sleeping just about everywhere.  The Ikea is a popular spot...they even take off their shoes and climb right in between the sheets of the demo beds.  Park benches, tables at Starbucks, anywhere they can catch 40 winks is fair game.  The 7-11 is a popular place for food...while they do have the rotating hot dog machine, they also have the steaming troughs of tofu and other nasty smelling treats.  Since it is a lunch place, most 7E's typically have seating.  Saw this lady totally zonked at one the other day.  Shoes off, plastic bag as a blanket, totally snoring away.  Totally envious

You do see many waterfalls.  Unsurprising as the terrain is rugged and geologically recent, and there is frequent heavy rainfall (typhoon blowing through this weekend for instance), rapid erosion is prevalent throughout the island.  Betty signed up for a tour of some local waterfalls an hour outside of TPE last week, but her boss was in town and could not go, so I went in her place.  Truly spectacular Wufengqi waterfalls in Yilan County.

The hike up to see the big one was grueling, but also in the area (and due to the geologic characteristics of the island, all over the place) are some local hot springs, so they took us to the public one to soak our feet in the warm water afterwards.  I'm not a huge hot spring guy, but if that's your bag, Taiwan is a great place for you. 

As an added bonus, this site is also the location of the only Asian Marian Apparition.  I didn't know what that was...but basically is an appearance of the Virgin Mary.  Quite an extensive vetting process to be confirmed as a true apparition, and the one at WufengQi has been neither approved or denied (most are denied), but is in a No Decision status. 

Story goes that in 1980, nine men were hiking in the area and became lost in the fog in very rugged terrain.  Unable to make it out on their own and fearing for their lives, the Virgin Mary appeared to them and led them to safety.  What made it more incredible was that the men were all Buddhists...they have since converted to Christianity.

Finally, something I don't see anymore is actual history on the History Channel.  Just looked at today's offerings and we get an hour of Storage Wars, an hour of Duck Dynasty, an hour of Counting Cars, and then the rest of the day features a Pawn Stars marathon.  I love me some Storage Wars...Dave is a butthole of course, but Darrell, Barry, Jarrod and Brandi feel like good friends...but what happened to a good Civil War documentary? 

Week of September 27th, 2013

I love when something funny happens that reminds of something else funny from the past...sorta like a smell or taste will transport you back in time.  This week while trolling the NFL injury reports on-line, a Baltimore Ravens football player is listed as being questionable to play this Sunday as he was hit over the head with a bottle by an angry stripper named Sweat Pea.  This information triggered my brain to recover a file from Freshman year of college when I was part of the American University meal plan.  Terrible food, we would steal giant ziplock bags full of Cap'n Crunch and eat that for dinner, then went off of the plan altogether after one semester and lived off of 39 cent chicken pot pies from the A&P and happy hour specials for the next few years.  But during that one semester, there was a server whose name tag read "Sweet Thing".  She was a large lady, with a little tiny baby mustache, that worked over a line of greasy hot serving trays.  Her nickname quickly became "Sweat Thing".   I can visualize like it happened 5 minutes ago my friend Katie putting her tray down on the table and declaring, "just got my burger from Sweat Thang."

Our Chinese class this year has moved from a structured vocabulary/grammar based curriculum to a "conversation" class.  We communally decide what we want to talk about then write dialogue about it learning the vocabulary to go along with it.  Things like making reservations, ordering food, going to the market, etc.  We got into making a reservation at a hot spring (of which there are many in these parts), which naturally led to discussion of the weird things people do.  I mentioned our experience in Korea over the summer where we went to the foot flesh eating fish exfoliation place, which was met with equal parts knowing nods and disgust, and then was one-upped by the teacher who described the new thing in Japan.  Whenever someone uses the term "new thing in Japan", you know it is going to be either robot related, or something extremely twisted and perverted.  Or sometimes both.   I give you, Japanese Snail Beauty Treatment.  Very restorative and moisturizing.  The snails are fed a diet of organic vegetables and they are kept at a constant 20 degree C (68 Fahrenheit) temperature.  I'd be game to give it a try if it weren't for the fact that one treatment costs a whopping $350 and probably won't try it as DIY.  And is it wrong that I felt a little turned when watching that video?

Had a chance to go to the kids school where the high school counselors put on a morning coffee discussion for the parents about keeping your high school student healthy and happy.  They led off with this quote...

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

Sounds like some parents I know, but was uttered by Socrates.   This meeting was mostly about not overloading your kid with activities and making sure they get enough sleep...obviously a Chinese high school as they have to remind the parents not to burn their kids out with tutors and violin lessons, etc.  If it was a US high school, we'd hear more about how to keep your kids away from drugs and the day care center they offer at school to help keep the teen moms coming.  Towards the end, we broke into parent discussion groups by table and they gave us some questions to help spur on our conversations.  Can't really remember the questions exactly, but one of them sparked one of the moms to declare that at home, she is always the bad guy to the kids.  They are always mad at Mom for telling them what to do, being mean to them, etc., you know the story.  Then another mom says the same thing goes on at her house and that the dad is always the good guy.  A third mom agrees with the first two and says that her kids think she is a real Bee-atch.  I could not resist and then say to the table, "You know why that is?"  paused for a couple of beats to build the mood..."Cause it's true."  After a couple seconds of silence, got the awkward laughter I was looking for, but know I didn't make any new friends that day.  Actually, probably made one as the other dude at the table secretly gave me the raised eyebrow/head nod. 

Went to my first foot massage last night.  Was driving Betty home from the airport and said she "needed" a foot massage.  Since the kids were all taken care of for the night, thought it would be an opportune chance to try one.  Am not a massage lover...always find myself more tight and in pain the next day.  My feet don't typically hurt, even though I've had major foot surgery (triple arthrodesis), but thought it might be a good time since I like the little massage they give when you get a foot pedicure (the best...fellas, do yourself a favor and try it if you haven't) and that everyone raves about them.

We went to Betty's joint around the corner (another great thing about living in a dense urban setting...$20 hour long foot massages a five minute walk from home).  Nice place, clean and well appointed.  Soaked the feet for a few minutes in some fragrant water while they do a short neck massage, then a half an hour on each foot.  The masseuses had never had a patron bring a beer along to enjoy during the chirapsia (deep cut word from the synonym dictionary), so we all had a first that night.  Once my lady started working on my ankle, she asked Betty what happened to my foot as she could feel the metal screws from the surgery mentioned above (gross for her).  What was even grosser for her was after the foot massage when they were asking if we wanted to do a full body one.  They were talking to Betty as they had as much English knowledge as I do Chinese, but I can do a good job of catching the drift if the context is clear.  Betty says no and then they look at me...Betty says something else to them and the lady gives the look of revulsion that is crystal clear in any language.  Once we're outside the door, Betty relates the above and says that when they asked if I wanted a massage, she said no because I have a very hairy body/back.  Being less evolved is both a gift and a curse.

The foot massage itself felt OK.  I didn't get the endorphin rush that I was expecting after listening to everyone that loves them, which was disappointing.  My feet didn't feel much (any) better afterwards and the parts that were painful going in, feel even more so this morning.  As we're chatting this morning, Betty just cannot understand, almost to the point of disgust, as to why I didn't love it nor why I don't want to go back.  I just had a similar conversation with my buddy John about going into a football betting pool with him.  He was getting mad, even insulting me, saying it's just a few bucks and it's so fun. 

Why do people insist you love something they love?  If you say no, or that you hate something without ever trying it, well shame on you, but when multiple people whose opinion you respect recommend something, I think you should be obligated to try it with an open miind and not say "no" just to be a contrarian. 

That said, I do respect the position where a person has one thing that everyone in the world adores, but you have never tried just on principle, such as watching the Godfather or eating Thai food. 

However, if your friend does try Thai food, foot massage, etc. and doesn't love it as much as you, then just let it go please.  I know I am guilty of such behavior.  With age comes maturity and a better understanding of people along with it, so to those where I have insulted you for not loving something (that you really should love) as much as I do (3 page laminated list available on request), I apologise. 

Week of September 20th, 2013

A quick correction...have mentioned the Chinese penchant for wearing masks, bathing caps, umbrellas in the sun, etc., and have been corrected that I should refer these traits to the Taiwanese only.  I've not been to China yet, but am told that not only do they not wear masks, but spitting openly everywhere is typical.  In listening to my Chinese counterparts, China is Oscar Madison to Taiwan's Felix Unger. 

Thursday is Moon / Mid-Autumn Festival.  As usual, the date of a holiday here is dependant on the phases of the moon, but it is your typical celebration of the harvest that is common throughout the world.  In modern Taipei, it manifests itself with everyone having a BBQ.  Sorta like July 4th, but having a BBQ here is a big deal in that most people live in apartments and don't typically have the access to a grill.  The stores are crammed with the portable, almost disposable kind and on Thursday night, the streets will be filled with impromptu cookouts.  And on Friday, the news will be filled with stories about impromptu fires being started by novice grill masters.  Pretty mild on the scale of unusual cultural events from around the world.  Have you ever been to Seattle's Summer Solstice Parade where naked bike riders paint their bodies in crazy ways to celebrate the longest day of the year.  On my bucket list is visiting certain places for their nutty rituals including: Thailand for the Songkran Water Festival and Tomato Throwing Festival in Bunoi, Spain.  And I am definitely going with Paul to the Yanshui Fireworks Festival right here in TW before our time is up.

Sunday Night Football starts at 8:30AM on Monday here, and last weeks game was a huge one between the Niners and Seahawks.  As it was one of the best regular season games this year being played at an time when most people are awake, invited some fellas over to watch it.  Perfect storm when the kids were at school and Betty on the road, managed to get three gents to play hooky from work and come watch Seattle bust the loudest stadium record up.  A great game (if you are a Seahawk fan), but was as great to have some traditional male bonding time.  Drinking beers, chili omelets and your basic shit flipping good time was awesome.  If it is wrong to skip work and get drunk in the morning with the boys and watch football, I don't want to be right. 

Whenever you get together with folks here, the crowd is typically very international, and one is always learning things about other cultures.  Something I learned during our beer-fueled game watching on Monday was the Indian Head Bobble.  As a collector of cultural stereo-type information, was pretty amazed this widely known one had passed under my radar.  I know that many cultures are uncomfortable saying the word no...for instance, whenever our Iranian friends answer maybe to anything, we understand that is an unequivocal no.  What I didn't realize was that the Indian aversion to the word no (attributed historically to their unwillingness/fear of saying no to the British Raj), had turned the head bobble into an involuntary reaction of sorts.  In retrospect, whenever I say things in an Indian accent, I feel like my head does the bobble thing.

Speaking of things that have been under my nose all along, need to keep it short this week to get this done by Friday.  Have some things on the list to write about, but any free time (and some not so free) the last few days has been dominated by a Breaking Bad.  Mentioned last week that I was hooked, and am currently on episode 4 of season 5.  Am officially putting it on my Mount Rushmore of TV shows all time (along with I Love Lucy, The Simpsons and Veronica Mars).  Everything about it, writing, casting, directing, is close to perfect.  The subject matter is twisted and definitely not for everyone, and it can be ultra-violent at times, but every episode leaves you breathless and dying to know what comes next.  I think the final episode is being broadcast this Sunday and cannot imagine how much the fans that have been watching it all along and have survived the week long breaks / season hiatuses are going to freak when it is done.  OK...gotta go.  Everyone is still asleep so can get another episode in before they wake up.





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Week of September 13th, 2013

Betty hit the road yesterday.  This has been the longest we've all been together for about 2 years...nearly 2 months straight.  When people ask what it's like having this kind of schedule, we usually reply that we have to get used to getting used to each other.  It was a nice run this time and don't remember having too many arguments.  One thing that didn't cause an argument, but is a source of concern is her new found addiction to the game Candy Crush.  She is running games on three different devices and it's taken over her mind.  I appreciate that it is a source of relief and comfort from a long day of work, but worry that it is affecting her sleep.  On Monday, I woke up at 1AM to watch the opening weekend in the NFL, and who is sitting by the edge of the bed playing her game?  I could see the colorful candy pieces moving in her glazed over eyes.  I went back to check in on her later and found her still jonesing on it at 3AM.

I guess the NFL is one of my joneses...but it is so great.  We discovered that the NFL offers a season subscription to residents outside of the US called Game Pass and it has pretty much changed my life.  Not only can you dial up any game you want to see live, but you can also watch the Red Zone channel, which happens to be the greatest invention since Candy Crush.  And you can go back after the games are over and watch replays of any game both in broadcast mode or in a condensed version.  The condensed version shows only the action and one can watch an entire game in about 35 minutes.  I love you Game Pass.  Add this to the MLB season winding down (with the Dodgers being relevant for the first time since Mannywood), and the playoffs in full swing in the greatest sport on the planet...Australian Rules Football, good on ya Freo...and you understand why this is the best time of the year.  For me anyway.

I finally took the advice of people that know a thing or two about great TV and started watching Breaking Bad.  Am about half way through season 2 well into season three and have been blown away by every single episode.  It's not for everyone, but holy shit is it great.  Those that watch it will nod and say, "what took you so long".  The rest of you can go on with your life of ignorance, but it's not too late...find it on Netflix and start binge watching now.

We had a short stretch of reasonable weather, but the brutal heat came back a few days ago with a vengeance.  The simplest of forays outside saps every ounce of energy and the urge to hide inside all day is strong.  And it doesn't get much better at night...hot, humid and not the slightest leaf blowing breeze to cool off the sweat running down your neck.  Yuck.  I reek constantly and am completely unsure sure how the locals can wear suits and stockings all day and be in the mood to make babies at night. 

Did you see this article on Yahoo the other day about adultery being illegal in Taiwan?  This woman was facing a possible 298 year sentence for doing it with the neighbor.  The law states that each "act" is good for 4 months in jail, and doing the math (298 x 3), that's 894 visits.  The dude in question was freed when his wife forgave him and dropped the charges.  Am dying to get a look at this crew, and how have they not been summoned to appear on Maury.

This week's summer vacation installment will cover our SoCal time.  Only spent a few days there, but did manage to hit Betty and my favorite Thai restaurant. 

The food is good all around, everyone loves the orange rice, spicy pork and green beans, and the crushed ice in the Thai iced teas gives it a slushy consistency, but the reason for the repeated pilgrimage has always been for the spicy seafood soup.  Full of fish, clams, mussels, shrimp, crab and squid, and seasoned to perfection.  One of those dishes that I find myself craving often and has led to a search around the world for something that comes close (to no avail).

Another food spot that is visited on each visit to my hometown is for a combo burrito at Taco Lita.

I've been going there since High School (a stones throw from Arcadia HS) and the food is exactly the same.  And it's not only the food.  The place looks exactly like it did 30+ years ago and the SAME WOMAN IS STILL SLINGING THE BURRITOS.  She is about my age and started working there in high school and has never left.  I am a member of the Taco Lita fan club on Facebook and the owner says that his prices are a bit higher so they can not only provide a superior product, but offer their employees better a career rather than minimum wage.  We call our old friend  Red as she had red hair (we were so clever).  The hair is not as red as it used to be, and eating that stuff every day has added to her weight, but she is keeping the dream alive.  Went there with some of my Arcadia boys and we had to give up trying to figure out how many burritos she has rolled in her day as it made our heads hurt.  I always want to get a photo of her, but still avoid eye contact as we used to torture her after a night of drinking.  Not "we" really, but would go with our boy Andy, and he and Red would get into it.  Not really Red either, but Andy would go in drunk and feel the need to harass her for whatever reason, culminating one night when he hurled a combo burrito at the glass that separated us from the back.  Andy had some anger management issues to be sure and I always felt bad about what he did that night.  Still, I hope there are no hard feelings with Red.  I really should take step 9 and make amends to her...

Anyway, got to go to Taco Lita twice...once with the fellas, and another time with the family.  They don't "get" it as much as me obviously, but they humored me and think they are starting to enjoy it as well.  Carolyn in particular is now a fan of their legendary sauce and now have competition for the stash that I always bring home.

When in town, always get together with the boys, James, Ched and Bill.  Not only for a run to Taco Lita, but for an afternoon of gun and car talk, booze swilling, playing a game of 'do you remember so and so', and Obama bashing (at the time regarding his comments on Travon).  James just bought a sweet VW bus and we spent a lot of time comparing it to the one Bill has, and wondering in what condition Ched's was in since it went into mothballs 20 years ago (but he claims it is a week away from hitting the road). 

This year, Bill had installed a pool table in his garage and we shot stick while Jack FM cranked out hits from the 80's, providing the perfect soundtrack for reminiscing.  This isn't the kind of reminiscing you see on a Dockers ad...we still flip shit like we were in high school, complete with mother jokes and questioning of each others sexuality.  There aren't any other people in my life where the no holds barred reality checks and sheer stupidity of thought and action are still possible as we close in on 50 as it is with these guys.  And love them for it. 

Paul and I decided to catch an Angels game with my buddy Norm one night...we met at a place down the street from the Big A that Norm suggested called Angelo's.  Check out the marquee as to what is new at Angelo's...Norm is all class.

I will say that the bathrooms were nice.  The game was fun (Angels lost in dramatic fashion-good for a Dodger fan), and it's always a good time talkin' sports with Norm.  He was working over Paul to become a Dodger fan, and we got into a back and forth as to who could name the most Blue Jays from their back to back World Series teams.  As we pulled into the parking lot, Norm looks around and says "it's gonna be a real Bro-fest here tonight".  I've been to many an Angel game, and as the stadium is situated in one of the whitest areas of California, I know there aren't going to be many black folks out at the game and tell Norm he's crazy.  He then informs me that a Bro is now a term that is used to refer to SoCal white trash dudes that drive raised trucks and have sleeve tattoos.  I knew immediately the type of guy he was referring to and the moniker is so perfect.  These are the older versions of the dudes in high school that had the tiny baby mustaches, jacked up Camero's, and listened to Sammy Hagar.  Apparently, there is no term for his woman, the sun burned bubble headed (and butted) bleach blond, but there needs to be.  Working on that.

Other highlights of LA was staying at Betty's sister Alice's house (equal parts fun and frustrating as always) and watching for the first time the 1997 Travolta/Cage thriller Face Off with the kids.  How did I not know about this film before?  Immediately entered my top 10 good/bad films list.  We were all laughing so hard and I had to wipe tears from my eyes by the end.  If you've never seen it, do yourself a favor, but make sure you go into it with the right frame of mind.  Another thing I checked off my bucket list was eating at Chik-fil-a.  Not sure why it was on it, and it was fine, but am not craving another.  And finally, there is nothing like driving on the freeways in LA.  Got stuck in traffic a couple of times, but one can avoid that for the most part and just fly.  Ripping from Arcadia to Irvine on the 210-605-10-57-90-55-5 with the windows cranked all the way down and the tunes cranked all the way up is Zen. 

Week of September 6th, 2013

Things have been relatively quiet and routine around here.  I have the first draft for my Taiwan Driving expose down and am fine tuning it for hopeful future publication.  If you've visited this page even a small amount, or have seen me in person over the last year, you've heard me rail on these buttholes.  My diatribe is not pretty and the likelihood that someone would publish it is unlikely, but will still share with you.

Nothing around town has inspired any entries so far, at least nothing new.  All the same nose pickers and hairy moles are out and about.  We did find an Israeli lady that makes Middle Eastern food and treats that have been a nice addition to our food choices.  Babaganoosh, Moroccan lamb egg rolls, etc...the real stuff.  She is the mother of one of Carolyn's friends, and Betty and I met with she and her husband last Saturday so we could ask them about Israel and what we must see and do when we visit in December.  Super nice folk...they told us that they met while serving in the Israeli military.  His brother works for a travel agency in Israel and we're going to work with him in setting up an itinerary and tours.  Fingers crossed that they keep their shit together in that area. 

While I wait for Taipei to inspire some entries, think I'll do a recap of our summer journeys.  I mentioned that our friend Bob from college came to Taiwan for a visit, and then we went off with him to Seoul for a few days bbefore heading to the States (talking early June now).  Always nice to have visitors and hope we showed him a good time.  He is an easy traveler...his idea of fun is to get lost walking or riding a bike around town, so we pointed him in the right direction and he did the rest.  We did have a zen dining experience at Din Tai Fung together and enjoyed it so much, that we all went back again before we left for Seoul, and then searched out the Din Tai Fung in Korea.  Verdict is that the dumplings they make in T-dub are a religious experience and to avoid them outside of Taipei at all costs.  By far the crapiest meal we ate in Korea. 

Seoul was really great.  Honestly...I never thought much of the Koreans before.  Kimchi makes me gag, their products always seem to be missing one little feature that makes the whole thing suck, and then there is this.  But we absolutely loved our time there.  Even though the reason why was horrible, being able to rebuild the city from scratch after the Korean War allowed them to plan it out really well.  The streets are wide, the architecture innovative and interesting, and the subway was increbily extensive and convenient to all parts of the city.  If it wasn't, a short taxi ride got you where you needed to go. 

The day we got in, we went to a baseball game at the big stadium in town called Jamsil.  Had ordered some bleacher seats before we left and we showed up a few minutes before game time thinking we'd just sit in the back for a few innings, but when we got in, the place was draped with fans.  Total sell out and in the bleachers (only ones available), not only were all the seats gone, but people were having massive picnics in every nook and cranny...the aisles and concourses totally jammed with kimchi dipping baseball lovers.  The first pitch we saw seemed normal, but have seen since that they are capable of so much more.  Or how about this...  Pretty hot whatever your predilection.  Was fun to see, but not fun to watch a game and we only lasted a couple of innings, but seeing a culture so in love with baseball already had me reconsidering my prejudices.

Another morning, we took a half day tour of the DMZ with the local version of the USO.  Must have been a slow week as it was just us and our guide and driver on a full sized bus.  As a history buff, I was familiar with the scenario, but being able to see it was special.  At the tourist center, we got to see the weapons and equipment used on both sides and learned that the DMZ itself has turned into an ecological sanctuary as no one goes in to disturb it.  They say that occasionally, some local creature will activate one of the millions of landmines that litter the border, but that they are free to be free otherwise.  Part of the tour was a chance to visit Infiltration Tunnel #3.  The North Koreans dug a series of tunnels under the DMZ for use on the next invasion of the south.  No photograpy allowed, but this YouTube clip gives a decent feel for what it was like.  You get to the tunnel via a very steep underground decline and then traverse the North Korean dug tunnel well under the DMZ.  The tunnels were found after a defector hipped the South to them, and the North claimed they were digging for coal except that no coal is found in that region of the country.  The tunnel was very claustrophobic, but it is said that theycould move 10,000 troops plus tanks and artillery through in an hour.  Malnutrition isn't all bad I suppose.  The morning we drove out to the DMZ coincided with the first meeting between North and South officials regarding the reopening of the Kaesong industrial park that was closed during all the sabre rattling last Spring, and our bus was passed by the South Korean official motorcade, which was being followed by a 1/2 dozen news vans.  It is neat feeling like you are a part of the news (my camera was on some funky setting at the time unfortunately)

 Our tour guide was a pretty little thing, which was lucky for us as a couple of the guards seemed smitten with her and allowed us into some areas usually off limits

 
They do that stupid peace sign when taking a picture thing in Korea too.  A couple of physical characteristics of the Koreans that jumped out at me was that many of them have chubby cheeks and meaty thighs.  I must have gotten used to the stick figures of TPE because I noticed it often.  Not saying it was a bad thing, just sayin'.  Visiting the different Asian countries is really helping me be able to identify the differences between them much better and that they don't al llook alike.

One afternoon, we visited the North Seoul Tower, which is situated on a hill in the middle of the city and gave a commanding 360 degree view.  It was at this cite that one can apprecieate how big Seoul really is with 25 million people, and how well laid out it is so that it never feels crowded. 

 

 Hard to get a good feeling of how far it extends in a simple photo, but a definite must visit for a tourist.  They had these chimneys from the old days on the hill where they would light fires to warn the population and military of approaching armies, and were told these chimneys are spread across the hills all over the country.  Now they provide a photo-op

 

And they have these "trees" set-up on the tower where lovers put locks on them to certify their bond.  Saw the same deal on the Accademia bridge in Venice last winter...such a delightful tradition.

On another day, we visited the Gyeong bok gung Palace, which is the huge home of past dynasties.  More expansive than you'd imagine, and the buildings have been restored lovingly, but most of the treasures were stolen long ago.  They did have an exhibit of the kimchi pots that were used to ferment that horrible concoction...gross

  Definitely worth a visit, but be prepared to walk a lot.  It was a hot day and the kids an my favorite spot was a water fountain where we could spray each other down.  And then there were these guys.

I think the site that ultimately turned me into a Korean lover was the Cheong-gye-cheon stream.  It is a stream that runs through the heart of Seoul and used to be a place where merchants would set-up shop.  After the war, it was capped and covered up by an expressway, but a dozen or so years ago, the road was taken down and was transformed back into an open stream where the citizens can come and enjoy.  Even though it is literally right smack in the middle of the busiest part of downtown, as it is below street level, the bustle of the city is removed and you get this peaceful park that is 5 kilometers long.  You can drop down and walk from neighborhood to neighborhood in peace, or just find a spot under a bridge (they are all different and cool) and sit in the shade while dipping your feet into the cool water.  Was such a perfect spot to catch our breath on a hot day...we visited it often on our stay.

 

 

Probably the strangest thing we did was to having our feet exfoliated by fish.  I had heard about this before and remembered a place in Seattle that did it, but was shut down due to some issue with the spreading of infection, but we walked past a sign advertising it and as curious travelers, decided that we had to give it a go.  Pretty simple really...you stick your feet in this tub of water filled with flesh eating carp, and they go to town.  Carolyn freaked at the sensation so pulled hers out, but the rest of us were down...felt like a combination of a light pinch and gentle tickle.  Due to my Fred Flinstonesque feet, I got the most attention from our little friends.

Other than the worst Din Tai Fung experience, we found some yummy food, especially chicken.  We stumbled into some random chicken shop in a cruddy neighborhood one day when we were tired and hungry and desperate for food, and had some amazing chicken sausages of various spices and aromas.  And in front of the palace, there was a street fair going on and we found these guys stir frying the bird to perfection.  We went back three times...Koreans do chicken right.
 
Unlike Taiwan, there is little left of the Japanese influence.  Taiwan has a lot of Japanese cars, department stores, etc., probably due to their more benevolent treatment of the population here.  Learning more about their history on this trip, the Japanese were awful to the Korean with forced changes of language, destruction of culture, and what they now call genocide of the population.  We saw only a handful of Japanese cars the entire time (almost exclusively Kia's and Hyundai's) and would guess it is probably one of the few places on earth where that is so. 

Another notable difference between the Chinese and Koreans is the use of face masks.  The Chinese love 'em and wear them everywhere all the time.  The fear of disease is omnipresent with the masks, the swim caps in the pool and so on.  No only did we not see a single mask worn in our four days there, but sneezing without covering the mouth is not only socially acceptable, but close to a national pastime.  Am a believer in the what doesn't kill you makes you stronger philosophy of medicine and that the fascination with Purel that has swept the planet might just be the death of the human race.  The flip side is that  the Chinese may know that what doesn't kill you, may still maim and disfigure you.

Sometimes it is the little things that speak volumes about a society, and that thing for me were the use of these little foam blocks we saw on the door edges of most of the cars.  We kept seeing these blue things on the cars and thought how ugly they were, but finally figured out they are situated on the door so when you open it, they protect both your car, but more importantly, the car parked along side's door from getting dinged.  Simple, ingenious, and more beneficial to you neighbor than it is for you.  South Korea's national motto is "Benefit Broadly The Human World."  I'm sold.

Week of August 30th, 2013

Hi...been about three months since I've visited this page.  How have you been?  We had an amazing summer touring Seoul and the US West Coast.  We returned to T-dub on August 9th and have been very busy getting the kids back into the swing of things, sending thank you notes to a lot of folks that took us in and were just so damn generous to us, and getting the place back in order. 

Another fun thing that has had me busy is an involvement in Carolyn's soccer team.  Last season, she joined a private club that practiced and played all year long...pretty much the only option around our neighborhood that offered a real training option.  The problem was that they mixed the girls and boys on the same team, both in practice and in games, and there is a real difference between skill and level of intensity between 10 year old boys and girls, and the little ladies were mainly marginalized.  The coaches didn't emphasize team play and would sit only the girls during games.  At best, the boys would not pass the ball to the girls and at worst, would trash talk against the girls...saying the sucked or worse.   Boys can be such assholes.  Carolyn's game suffered mightily and she told me she was done with soccer.  Who could blame her?

Most of the girls parents were apoplectic, and addressing our concerns to the club were met with virtual silence (again, they were grown boys and total assholes).  A few of us got together late last year and said we need something for the girls only or we were done.  One of the moms kept up the cause and we have put together a parent led girls only soccer club called the Taipei Heartbreakers.  Many of you know my love of Pat Benatar, and I had no part in picking the name, but absolutely love that moniker.  Great tune...and remember this throw away line from Seinfeld?  We are able to charge US$200 less than the other club (mainly cause we are not for profit), have hired a professional coach (who is a Brit, and soccer just sounds right when spoken with an English accent), and have recruited 5 parent coaches to be out there helping him at their bi-weekly practices.  They asked if I would be willing to coach, but I know that my coaching style probably wouldn't fit with a girls team psyche.  A large part of my coaching style leans on swearing and ridicule, which works well with most boys, but is not as funny to the little ladies. 

Side note, if you enjoy either American football or the other kind, and haven't seen the American Coach in London video, where Jason Sudeikis plays a hardcore American football coach hired to head an English Premiere League team, do yourself a favor and check it out by clicking HERE. 

As I needed a role in this endeavor, I volunteered to be the team admin...creating player lists, collecting money, communicating schedules, etc.  I take no credit for this team...my role is minor in the scheme of things and am simply glad they included me in the organizational part of it.   Our first practice was Monday and think this is going to be an amazing team and experience for the girls and have high hopes that it is going to rekindle Carolyn's interest in the game while being a lot of fun for yours truly. 

Being back in Taipei so far has been good.  While it is still ridiculously hot/humid, it doesn't feel as bad as it did last year.  Would attribute it mostly to our bodies adapting to hell weather, but a little credit needs to go to the pool in our apartment opening this year.  It was broken last summer, but they fixed whatever was wrong and it was open when we got back.  Nothing better in taking down the body temperature than a soak in a cool pool.  Big downer was learning that it is closing at the end of August (it would be great through September).  Also, they emptied it last Wednesday in advance of Typhoon Trami blowing through late this week.  Not the biggest of typhoons, and the kids got a day off from school because of it,.  It did drop a couple of feet of water in a 24 hour period in the area, and if you haven't seen the video of the dam near Taipei opening its floodgates to prevent overflowing the Shimen reservoir, you can see it here.  Powerful images.

I am also feeling more at home so far.  Have collected a growing group of friends and the comfort level with them is feeling more natural.  I've said before that I am like moss in that I grow on ya, and hope these new friends are coming to appreciate my sense of humor.  Doing stuff around town feels easier and more familiar.  Other than the soccer team mentioned above, have had a lot of things going on with the school like focus groups and teacher meetings.  I have a lot of things I want to do like writing a couple of articles for the local English language magazine (first up...Driving in Taiwan, and How I'd Fix It) and planning for the families extensive travel calendar this year (you'd eat your heart out if you heard it).  And all of the above doesn't include finding some type of worthy employment, whether it be a j-o-b, or writing the book that is in my head. 

With all of the above, not only do I feel busy, but am not feeling the levels of angst that I experienced last year, and because of that, am worried that this diary would suffer.  No one wants to read only how wonderful things are, and I know that most of you like the awkward observations and personal discomfort...and it's just more funny to write about that stuff.  Plus, there is not that much that feels "new", and don't want to start making stuff up.  I heard from a bunch of people that check in with this diary that they liked it and to keep it up, but want to make sure that it remains fun for both of us, so I am going to try and log an entry once a week this year.  Last year, I had 92 postings, which is close to 3 per week, but think that scaling back will help keep it fresh and fun, so will now be naming the entries "Week of" and will endeavor to post them every Sunday. 

Talk soon.