April 13th, 2015

Driving home from dropping Carolyn off at her Monday soccer practice, this happened.

Not sure what today is, but they have been blowing up shit since 5:30 this morning.

Have been really busy the last couple of weeks and have not had the time to devote to this space.  Things clear up after this weekend and will try to get through a lot of the Taiwan (Chinese bashing) stuff I have backed up soon.  Created this diary for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones is for the kids to look back on these times to remember what we did and to hear what their old man had to say about them, so recapping our travels takes precedence.  Going on a Thai travelogue, so if that isn't your thing, check back next week.

Took the opportunity to spend the kids Spring break from school on a trip of Thailand. When we decided to make the move here, this was number one on my visit list, so these 10 days were highly anticipated.  3 nights Bangkok, 2 nights Chiang Mai and 5 nights Phuket.  First up...

When you read about things to do in Bangkok, the first thing they mention is the traffic, and they were not exaggerating.  Anytime we got into the car or cab, 3 miles took an hour.  Add to it that it is a sprawling city with crappy public transportation, and you have a more humid Los Angeles.   What is there to do in Bangkok?  Temples.  On our first day, we visited the two major ones.  First up was the Wat Phra Kaeo and Grand Palace.  Massive complex with really stunning buildings and statues.

 This was on a street sized mural depicting life at the temple.  Monkeys totally getting wasted and loving it.

Out of respect, visitors need to wear pants and cannot show their legs.  Carolyn wore shorts that day and they made her strap on a sarong to go inside.  She really didn't like the style of it and freaked when I wanted to take a picture.  All the more reason to take one.  She was so pissed...and I love the look of disgust Betty has on her face at the whole scene.

 We got inside and as we are regrouping, this guy is leading a tour group and screaming (in Chinese) at the top of his lungs.  Betty tells him to stop yelling and he tells her to "shut up lady".  Anyone that knows Betty in these situations will appreciate that ultimately, park security was called in to break it up.

 Very nice temple if you like those sort of things.  The old King's Palace was also on the grounds.  Also nice...most interesting piece of history was that Rama VIII (Rama = King...Ramas 1, 5 and the current # 9 are considered good) died here in 1946.  We asked the guide how he died and he said no one knows.  I looked it up, and it really is a mystery.  The exercise was a good way to learn about Thailand's role in WWII however...did you know they were both an ally of Japan while actively fighting against them?

Anyway, after the temple, we took a short tuk tuk ride over to the river.


 Much nicer way to get around town are the water taxis.  Took about a 45 minute one though the canals on our way to temple # 2 of the day.  On the way, saw a couple enormous monitor lizards (moved too fast for a photo), and the boat stopped so we could buy loaves of bread to feed the fish.  Toss in a few crumbs and these ugly as catfish swarm like a pack of starving rats.  Gross.

 Next up was Wat Arun.  The word Wat means temple by the way.  A smaller complex than the first one, but the main building was inlaid with shards of ceramics, which gave it a cool look.

 
 Day two, we took the 1.5 hour drive (which is like 5 miles in Bangkok) to the famous Damndensaduak floating market

 As advertised...you get on paddle boats and go up and down canals to buy stuff.  You can get veggies and groceries, or prepared food...one guy was stir frying up some pad thai, which we would have eaten had we not been still full from breakfast.

 Or you can do the touristy things, like get a photo from a smarmy dude with a big ass snake.

 or take your pick from all the usual touristy crap.  I bought a straw cowboy hat that looked better on Betty.

Had time for another stop on the way back to Bangkok, and in looking at the map, gave the kids a choice...another temple, or a museum.  After telling them, 'no, we can't just go back to the hotel', we chose to visit Nakhon Pathom.  This was my choice as the book said it was "in height, the tallest Buddhist stupa in the world".  No trip would be complete without seeing something that was biggest/oldest/fattest/etc.

 The grounds had the twin baby Buddha heads, which allowed us to have our daily Betty/mom's skull is so big laugh.

 Think the best part of this stop was the small food and craft market outside.  Will go into detail about the food later, but this market had Thai Elvis on the mic.

I'm sure Bangkok would be a different experience without kids, and probably weirdly different without the wife, but it certainly didn't grab me as being a place that I would rush back to.

We had a 4:30 wake-up call the next morning for the 1 hour flight to Chiang Mai.  A northern town, I had to be talked into going here as it was billed as an outdoorsman sanctuary.  I like the outdoors, but prefer urban over rural and my bad wheels bar participating in a lot of things, but I was really glad we went here as it was by far my favorite place on the trip. 

The area in the north was both an independent kingdom and was under Burmese rule until it was absorbed by Siam (later Thailand) in the early 1800's.  The area is also famously known as the Golden Triangle and was a center of opium production during the Vietnam War.  Since we arrived early in the day and before we could check in, we had some time to kill.  As asked the kids...Wat time is it?  Took a tour to Doi Purthap where the important temple Wat Phra That Lampang Luang is located in the hills above Chiang Mai.

The temple got its location as the monks decided to let their white elephant choose.  The elephant reached this place on the mountain and died, so they erected it here. 

 Elephants are the beasts of burden in these parts, but the white ones are considered sacred and are not used to work.  That is where the term white elephant gift comes from...when you own a white elephant, you have to feed and take care of it, but it is worthless to you.

The golden pagoda was truly stunning.

 Giant bells circled the complex and we were encouraged to ring them all. 

 You are supposed to circle the main golden pagoda three times while reciting certain blessings.  I chose to do them in native Thai

 Betty wanted me to get a picture of her receiving blessings from the monk, but Carolyn had to make a face.

 

On the way back to town, we stopped at a place called the 5 Hill Tribes area.  There are ethnic groups living around Chiang Mai, and they have representatives of each at this village where they can show off their traditional clothing and sell tacky souvenirs. It was hot and we were tired from the early morning call and walking around the temple, so stumbled unimpressed, but slightly sad at this human zoo, through the first 4 tribal areas.  Then we came to the Long Neck Karen (Kayan)

 

Originally Burmese, they now live as refugees in Thailand and they support themselves solely by tourism.  By that I mean, they sit around and people pay to come look at them.

 

These are the women that extend their necks by putting brass coils around them starting at age 5, and add more into adulthood.  Actually, this does not lengthen their necks, but compresses their clavicles and rib cages and gives the appearance of lengthening their necks.  After seeing them and reading about it, the compression of the ribcage makes sense as they could barely speak above a whisper.  They don't even know how this started with anthropologists theorizing that it was either to make them beautiful by exaggerating sexual dimorphism, or to make them so ugly that conquering tribes would not want to abduct them.  In my mind, the latter seemed reasonable, but from my penis' perspective, I was slightly intrigued. 

 

 

The next day was Wat free.  In the morning, we visited the Maesa elephant camp.  I am not a huge zoo guy as I feel bad for the animals, but am not a militant about it either.  I checked into the camp beforehand and they have good reputation for taking care of the animals, so off we went.  Such an amazing time.  First thing you do is go right up and have your picture taken.  The ends of those trunks are cold and wet, just like a puppy's nose.  And they are so dexterous with them...grabbing the bananas or sugar cane sticks, and taking the tips, but knowing they weren't food and handing (trunking?) them over to their handlers. 

 And yes, that one is grabbing my junk.  Posted this on Facebook with some comment about my Thai ménage e trois, and the best comment I received back was "Elephant found a peanut".

Then it was time to watch them get a bath in the river.  Not a lot of things cuter than watching baby elephants taking a bath.

 Unless it is elephants playing soccer!  After the bath, it was showtime where the elephants danced, played harmonica, twirled the hula-hoop, shot darts against some girls from the crowd, and kicked soccer balls.

 The finale was elephant painting. 

 They really painted these and were quite pretty.

 Then it was time for our elephant ride.  An hour long trek through the woods. 

Giraffes have always been my favorite animal, but after seeing and feeling how powerful, yet smart and gentle these animals were, am thinking about switching up.

The other main activity on this day was a visit to the Tiger Kingdom.  Purposely did not research this place in advance as I knew it would probably be deemed cruel...subsequent web searches find this to be the case.  Billed as a tiger refuge, the whole operation is designed so you get to be with tigers. As Carolyn was under 18, she could only go to the smallest tiger section, so I went with her.

Got to hang with 3 and 5 month old tiger cubs.  They were soft and sweet, but still had their claws and massive teeth and felt that they would easily mess you up if they were angry.  Betty and Paul (who was is not 18, but said he was for entertainment purposes) went to the biggest cat cages.

 

Like that article says...wild tigers are not selfie props.  Gorgeous creatures.

We were in Chiang Mai on Saturday and Sunday nights, and they have weekly night markets on opposite ends of town those evenings.  Our hotel was in the middle of old town, so both were about a 10 minute walk.  Absolutely fantastic...was expecting stall after stall of the same ol' tourist crap, but these were each about 1km long with tons of great food, unique handicrafts and buskers to entertain. 

I will go into the food later, possibly its own entry as it was so phenomenal, but here are some of the interesting street performers.
Blind jam band...there were two of these on opposite ends of the market.

 She was tearing it up

 Homemade RC vehicle with snack dogs

 Just wrong

 Note the hula hoop

 But this elderly couple was my favorite.  She was doing a slow but expressive dance while he was totally droning (in a good way) on whatever that instrument is...have never seen one before.

Hypnotizing.

The vibe all night at these markets, and Chiang Mai in general, was hip and relaxed.  While we ate at the markets at night, saw a bunch of trendy restaurants littered about.  A lot of Europeans were there, and I noticed a lot of groups of 20 something Western girls roaming the streets, so I figure the word is out that it is cool and very safe.  And of course, I love when we get to do the drop off laundry service in the middle of a vacation.  6 bucks and all our clothes were clean and fresh.

This got long, so will do Phuket, Thai food and overall impressions next time.