October 29th, 2016

Some follow-ups to start the week off.  First, everyone's favorite topic...the heat.  It  has been so miserable the last couple of weeks and it must be unusual as there are stories I've never seen before in the paper about the heat wave.  Temps every day in the 90's with humidity pushing the "real feel" into the hundreds, a UV index rating of high from sun up to sundown and the air pollution ranging from unhealthy for 'sensitive groups' to 'strap on a gas mask'. 

Was chatting with a couple of Nordic ladies yesterday and they were loving it while whining about how cold it gets here.  What?  You're from Sweden and Holland and it's cold here?  Think they said something about it being a dry cold and the humidity getting into their bones, but my head was buzzing from incredulity.   I long for a night when I can wrap myself up in a big comforter and feel cozy. I am sick of smelling myself. 

Good news is the forecast has it breaking on Saturday, which is good cause that is Gay Pride Parade/Festival day and there is nothing worse than smelling a bunch of dudes in leather on a hot day.  Am looking forward to attending this time as I have missed it in years past and it is said to be the largest such event in Asia.  Lots of talk about the new government, which you may recall is helmed by the very single cat loving Tsai Ing-Wen, mulling over making same sex marriage legal.  Will take some photos for next time.

Mentioned that we had a lizard living in our place but have not seen him/her recently.  In the same conversation as above, we moved from the weather to our opinion of the creatures crawling/flying around our collective apartments.  Some of us repelled mosquito bites while others were magnets (tam in the middle group as they only love my ankles).  A few have snakes roaming around their places, but the South African in the group scoffed at the tame Taiwanese variety by describing  how they have ones that can swallow you whole, and Black Mamba's that can kill you in a minute (I of course knew that and said I had seen Kill Bill, which was met with blank stares).  And we all agreed we have no time for the cock roaches.  I mentioned my lizard pet and it seems that everyone has those and we were all good with them.   Asked what they ate and apparently, their favorite snack are the mosquitos.  Viva los lizards.

Lastly, shared a story a few weeks back about hemp tampons and saw a follow-up article, I think in HuffPo but either am misremembering or they took it down as it must have been controversial, but it was about two women who tested the items so "you don't have to".  They performed as any other tampon would and said that while they didn't get 'high', they did feel more relaxed and tired.  I know that I should not speak for women, especially in these nasty pussy grabbing days, but isn't that the point?  Was sitting at my desk the other morning and got a call from the school nurse.  Babydoll came in with severe cramps and they needed permission to give her ibuprofen and asked how much she usually takes.  I rattled off 200mg without really knowing, but it sounded good, and the other folks in the office who overheard the conversation were impressed with my plumbing knowledge.  I just added it to my resume for Dad Who Is In Touch With His Feminine Side of the year candidacy.

This week is Parent/Teacher conference week and there was no major concerns with the kiddies.   The dance teacher was worried about Babydoll as she missed class the previous day and we had a funny/awkward retelling of the above cramps story.  Her teachers all love her spirit and attitude in class and that if she puts in more effort, she could be a superstar.  The Boy is doing well in his final year of high school.  His class schedule is ridiculously hard, even his teachers raise their eyebrows when they see it and while his grades are good, they rave about his demeanor in class as being a mentor to his peers.  Add the task of having to do these college applications and I really don't know how he is doing it.  He doesn't read this Diary but one of the reasons I do this is for them to enjoy when they are older.  To future Boy, am massively impressed with the Man you are becoming.

I must add that Paul is conducting a survey for his Government class and I sent it to a lot of people, but if I missed you and you have a minute, please click on this link and take it for him. 

https://goo.gl/forms/bG4GJ6ufKbF3hUXn2

Having forwarded it to a lot of my friends I asked the teacher at our conference how the results were coming in so far...a lot of white atheists from the Pacific North West apparently.  If you do read this, please forward it to anyone you know cause the more data the better.  And if you could send to people other than white atheists, that would be even better.

One thing about the school/Taiwan that has aggravated me as of late is the new policy on volunteering.  Have probably related that I help out with coaching the High School boys baseball team during their off season workouts.  A new policy was recently enacted that requires me to be checked out criminally and to get a volunteer work permit.  The criminal background check is obvious when one works with kids and am a little disappointed that they haven't been requiring that all along.  Have been coaching the kids in some capacity for at least 12 years and making sure you don't have any pedophiles is obviously sound management.  The other part of this is that TW has strict regulations regarding foreign employment,  even if that is in volunteer form.  I know it is a frustration of many expats that they can't do a lot of meaningful volunteer work here because of the hoops one must jump through to get the permit.  For instance, one of the documents I have to get to be approved is my college diploma and transcript.  I haven't seen those things for 30 years and really don't remember ever seeing my transcript.  I can get it but it takes a month to get here via the mail.  I ran for School Board twice and they didn't ask if I was an extortionist high school drop-out so I guess critical thinking isn't a requirement for that role, but one must have a college degree to hit fungos. 

Finally for today, I have a confession.  Under The Tuscan Sun has been making a run on our local crappy movie channel this week and...well uh...it makes me tear up every time.  Am an avowed RomCom avoider in the he-man vain, but if I'm being truthful with myself, think it's cause being emotional makes me uncomfortable.  That said, I love all things Diane Lane and she is so sexy in this role.  Add that the setting is idyllic and that I am currently plotting out our Winter trip to Italy and have watched it in parts three times.  Sniff.

October 22nd, 2016

Had a professional picture of our car taken here the other day...like it?

This is what we get in the mail for a speeding ticket.  Cost 1,800 local dollars, or about 60 bucks.  First one in ages.  For non-long time readers, I got about 10 of these in the first month we were here before we figured out what was going on and where all the speed cameras are.  This is the second since, so pretty good.  I sometimes get totally rockin' out and become one with the vehicle. 

Mentioned last time that it was a back-to-back event night last weekend.  The Community Center auction was Friday.  The Center is the place where I like to donate my time and help them out whenever I can.  They are a non-profit that is there for the local expat community by holding classes and tours, but the main function is providing counseling services many of which they perform at reduced rates or free, so they are forever in need of funds to survive.  The auction is their biggest fundraiser and this was the best one that I've attended.  Not much to share other than this delightful picture of the Boss and I...masquerade themed.

Hit it pretty hard so was not feelin' 100% for the next day's event of the kids school Food Fair.  I help out at the school when I can too, but they are lousy with cash so don't get as much soul salvation.  Still, I am considered the Hot Dog guy over there as I've been running the hot dog booth twice a year for a few years now.  Our goal is to sell 1000 dogs from 10a to 3p and have always sold out.  I typically have a propane grill and a charcoal one, but we always end up using the propane one mainly as it is just easier.  This year, decided to go all charcoal as the dogs simply taste better.  I knew it, and it was pointed out to me often throughout the day, but as soon as that decision was made it would rain that day (karma is such a bitch).  Sure enough, the morning found a steady drizzle, but not too bad.   As soon as the clock hit 10AM, the skies opened up...pouring rain coming down at a 45 degree angle.  My always reliable morning grill partner Louis and I went full urban caveman just to keep the fire alive.

 It hammered us for a good hour before letting up, but we kept the coals hot  and grilled our brains out the rest of the day.  Attendance was way off and we didn't quite sell out, but close.  We made steep price reductions just to move the product and were able to feed all the security and maintenance staff at the end of the day with the leftovers, so added a few karma points back into our column. 

It is a ton of fun but hard work for yours truly as I'm there from 7a to 4p immersed in charcoal fumes, hot dog juice and completely drenched from the rain.  I know when I smell bad, but this day was something else.  I had to throw away my wallet, which I loved and  has been for the better part of a decade inches away from my butthole, cause it got a funk from the dogs that was permanent.  I took two showers that night and another the next morning and I caught a whiff of myself around lunchtime and still wreaked.   Still a great day.

You don't have to love baseball for me to like you, but it wouldn't hurt.  Was watching game three of the Indian/Blue Jay game and the images of Trevor Bauer's finger gushing blood on his pitching hand was just amazing.  He cut a gash in it 3 days prior while playing with a drone.  There have been many a bizarre injury in baseball and ran across this article documenting a few of them. 

Tore his meniscus trying to give his teammate a shaving cream pie to the face following a win.

Missed time after his protective cup pinched a testicle.

The Mariners power hitter slipped out of his chair and bruised his tailbone reaching for his son’s flip flop in 2010.

Broke his collarbone falling down the stairs carrying venison meat

Missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eye.

Cut his hand trying to butter a roll at a Texas Rangers luncheon

Strained a muscle in his back picking up his lunch tray.

Missed two starts after developing elbow inflammation — the supposed cause? Flipping sunflowers seeds at teammates.

Strained his oblique supposedly fluffing his daughter’s pillow.

Dislocated his shoulder trying to tear a phonebook in half — he had seen motivational speakers do it.

Fell asleep in a tanning bed in 2002 — was told by doctors to stay out of the sun mid-season. The next game was a day game.

Stabbed himself in the stomach trying to open a DVD with a knife.

The NL MVP chipped a tooth on a microwaved donut, requiring a root canal

Fell asleep with an icepack on his foot — developed frostbite in August.

Didn’t miss time, but the legend is that he burned himself ironing a shirt he was wearing.

Missed the 2006 ALCS after injuring his wrist playing Guitar Hero.

Allegedly broke a rib vomiting after a bad in-flight meal — he played through it.

Tore his ACL when his manager separated him from an umpire during an argument.

Stabbed himself in the leg trying to open the packaging of “The Club” car lock. Later that year he punched a trash can, broke his hand and contracted tuberculosis.

Tore knee ligaments falling off a treadmill — only to re-injure the knee riding a bike during rehab

Strained his back sneezing in 2004.

Claimed to have missed time in 1998 because of spider bites.

Left the 1985 World Series on a stretcher after the tarp machine rolled over his leg.

Fell through a glass table after waking up from a dream that spiders were eating him.

The tarp rolling over the guy is probably the most famous but think I like the one where he fell through a glass table after a spider bite dream.  And what the hell is a microwave donut?

We have a lizard living in our apartment.  We've all seen it and I tried to capture it a couple of times, but he is so fast.  I said he looks yellow but Babydoll says green.  Betty said that lizards change color and am pretty sure that's not true.  One of my earliest memories is my mom trying to shoe out a lizard from the kitchen with a broom and her freaking out when she caught it by the tail and the tail came off.  I think I'm OK with our new pet, but the other night was getting ready to take the meat off of a Costco rotisserie chicken.  Betty walks in and I ask if she'd do it for me as it kinda grosses me out.  She starts digging in and screams...I think that the lizard has startled her, but it was the head of the bird that popped out at her.  Chinese need to see the head on their creatures as it somehow signifies freshness and Costco complies. 

Am not a devotee, but will watch the show 'Fresh Off The Boat' if I stumble upon it.  Think the Chinese caricatures are a little forced,  but sometimes they totally nail it.  Caught an episode the other day about the brother coming to visit the family and the dad says "let me take your suitcase" and the brother says "no no, I've got it".   It soon devolves into a wrestling match over the bag as to who is going to carry it.  The younger kid asks what is going on and the older brother says that it is a typical Chinese 'polite fight'.  Never heard it described as such but yes, .that is exactly what happens.   Everyday on the elevator, people will fight about letting the other person off first and it gets so annoying.  Always feel like a loser when I give in and sometimes will battle for a win.  The other day, was making a right turn in an unmarked four way intersection...no stop signs or lights and it is truly unbelievable how many of those there are, and a woman is three steps into the intersection.  I stop of course cause that is what good people do, but that isn't the custom here and the woman stops and starts baking up.  I ain't gonna lose this polite fight so I wave her to cross and she backs up further...into the curb and falls on her ass, spilling the contents of her bag.  So funny.

This polite fight is all for show cause as soon as they can get anonymity, they all...let me repeat...ALL will take advantage if they can.  Haven't ranted about the drivers recently cause I heard complaints as that is all I do in this space, but pulled up a car length behind the first car in the left turn only lane.  He apparently wants to go straight but the left turn arrow turns green and he sits there.  He his gonna wait until the light to go straight turns green so he can go that way.  Meanwhile, I and all the cars behind him now have to suffer cause of his fuck up and complete unwillingness to eat his mistake and go around the block. Of course, I lay on the horn more than Kanye lays on the auto tune and can see both the first guy and the drone in between us looking at me in their rear view mirrors like raccoons.  I don't buy your politeness people cause it is totally fake.  The true character of  person is whether they do the right thing when no one is looking.

Have talked about the musical garbage trucks a couple times, but someone made a nice video of it and share it here. 

Finally, someone sent me a photo from the college days.  This has to be '84 or '85

So ahead of the times.  I was rockin' both the 'fro and hipster beard when both were out of style.  And this is also  proof that I was a fan of nasty women way before that became a thing.

October 15th, 2016

Baseball is so great. 

No post this week as it is a busy one for me with the two biggest events in my volunteer life back to back.  Community Center auction Friday night and the schools Food Fair (selling 1000 hot dogs) all day Saturday.  Typically write these things up on Saturday mornings while the family sleeps and there will be no time to do so this one. 

That means no rants on the election and to be honest, am sorta out of them.  No words left if one thinks Trump is a good idea and I happen to think HillCat is quite good.  Plus...I voted.

October 8th, 2016

Just watched the Amanda Knox documentary on Netflix and don't think I could hate anyone more than "journalist" Nick Pisa.  Skin crawling.  And the Italian prosecutor has spent too much time watching crime shows where the cop solves all cases with some preternatural ability to divine the truth from his own feelings. 

China has been awfully dickish lately.  Popping up in my news feed at the same moment the other day was an article on how Singapore will 'pay the price' for their actions on the South China Sea dispute and another about  how the US will 'pay the price' for introducing defensive THAAD missiles in S. Korea.  First of all, lazy metaphors by Chinese comrade mouthpieces and second, once again shows these turds are only about getting their grubby hands on the money.  Say what you will about the US, and I give them/us no quarter on their sins throughout the world as there are many to atone for, but our alliances are multilayered and can withstand disagreements.  The Chinese "invest" in the worlds backwaters and when they become unprofitable, they are done.  Ask the Venezuelans , and as a warning to you Pakistan or all the countries in Africa where they are quietly sucking your resources dry, keep one eye open. They don't respect anyone they feel is below them culturally, which is almost everyone.  Doesn't feel as if  they don't look down on the Americans (you know, we saved their asses in WWII) but they appear confused by all the different colors of people we have.  I do know that they totally shit their pants when Japan rattle their sabres (for good reason).  They have this notion that by barring Taiwan from participating in UN conventions on airline safety and climate research, that it'll keep them from attaining independence.  Or something.  Everyone has to cow tow to them cause they have the cash these days, but their time will come.  Being the bully cause you have money and not having any friends in the world (even North Korea can't stand them) will come back to bite you.  Hope I'm around long enough to see it.

Here is a note to all the Boomers or Gen X types out there that whine about "the Millenials"...shut up.  Your dumb ass generation was no better and you sound like the old person that criticized you at the time.  Stop it.

Not sure why, maybe  it has to do with he fact that as the primary caregiver these days having to help Babydoll navigate puberty, but Betty sent me a link about cannabis tampons.  Cure the cramps and pains of the menstrual cycle?  Can I get a menstrual cycle if I get a sex change and if so, as I am 51 will I have already gone through man-o-pause? 

The movie Sully opened here the other day and while I didn't read it, saw a review with the headline "Don't Travel with Tom Hanks".  Instantly knew what was in the article...Castaway, Captain Phillips, The Terminal, Apollo 13, DaVinci Code, etc.  Funny.

Was talking to some folks at school  about Taiwan and how the birth rate is low due mainly to low/stagnant wages, high rents causing many to live with their parents longer, etc.  It never occurred to me, but 90% of the students at the kids school go to the States for university and I just assumed they all stayed there, but learned that a lot of them come back to live in Taiwan.  Was told by the schools educators that the overwhelming majority of those that do return to Taiwan end up marrying other TAS alums as they have little in common with their peers that have never lived or studied overseas.  I suppose that makes sense.  No tag line or quip for this, just makes me wonder how this experience is gonna affect my brats down the road.  I always just assumed  that they are going to have a depth of experiences that will make them awesome citizens of the world, but have just a little bit of fear that they may miss a sense of place that will prevent them from ever being...I dunno...grounded?  Weird.

Finally for today, I am a lousy salesperson but if I feel strongly about a product, will pitch it constantly and forcefully.  Am obviously in the bag for Costco, but knowing it as intimately as I do, am a huge proponent of everything about them.  That is why this article about Costco's rotisserie chicken hit me hard.  Sure, the info is from celebrity medical hack Dr. Oz, but MSG to make the bird more flavorful?  Explains why I am thirsty after a round of homemade chicken quesadillas (the rotisserie chickens in Taiwan come with the head still on...grotey to the max).  I know all the stores do stuff like this, but say it ain't so Costco...say it ain't so.

October 1st, 2016

Real short post...am looking for your advice this week.

Joke of the week...What turns on a ghost?  Boooooobs.

Decent sized typhoon blew through town this week.  Kids got a couple days off from school, but in true Asian kid fashion, they were grousing about their schedules being thrown off/getting behind.  The day of the storm, read it was supposed to hit after lunch so made a long overdue ill advised yet successful AM run to Costco.   A good day to go as it was nice and quiet, as long as a tree didn't fall on your car.  Cleared off my list plus found this.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but TW has rigid import restrictions on pork, especially from the States as we pump them full of hormones, and the local made kind all adds some kind of sugar or sweetness to their recipe, which really doesn't appeal (gag me).  This new offering  is made from Danish pork bellies (apparently, Danish pork is no problem) is thick cut and hickory smoked (aaaarrrrgh).  As my eyes were transfixed on the display, I said out loud to know one that this "is a game changer", 

Other than that, fairly uneventful typhoon.  Some powerful images of wind and water (about 2 feet of rain fell in the neighborhood in about 12 hours), but by far the most viral was this

Speaking of viral, This one is blowing up around these parts.  if you haven't seen this stupid thing, you have now.

Across the street at the Sports College, they are having a wheelchair tennis tournament this weekend.  Watched them for a while and this isn't the right word, but was jealous in a way as I loved playing tennis but the pounding would kill my knees.  Would it be wrong/unethical for me to take up wheelchair tennis  as a sport even though I can walk?  I figure it would be a great upper body workout and scratch that tennis itch.  Am serious and want to know what you think.

Speaking of which...have an acquaintance on FB whose posts I like in general, but regularly discusses his workouts.  Here is a post from this week...

"I saw a wheelchair-bound man playing badminton with his daughter when I was out on my hour run this afternoon. That man is the epitome of determination and fatherly love. I was very moved by what I saw--my hat goes off to him! "

My head explodes at this shit.  What do I do?  The easy thing is to "unfollow" but I like the guy and seeing his stuff.  I want to help this obvious and repeated call for help/attention/validation whatever but have no idea how to do it.  ConsideredAgain, welcome your input.

Was gonna go on a rant about an old roach filled refrigerator we once bought and how it reminds me of the current election cycle, but am so disgusted by a certain section of the voting public and know it would be a waste of time here as no one that reads this is that awful.  So will pass on that, wish you all a happy weekend and share what is billed on YouTube as the Cutest Video Ever.