Several follow up items to kickoff this weeks entry. Sitting here a few minutes before the Thursday night kickoff game of KC at the...I can't even say their name anymore. As soon as I typed up my happiness about the state of my teams last week, the Mariners, who were already starting to shit the bed, got out of it and then vomited into the laundry hamper. And the potentially historic Dodger season turned around immediately, currently losing 11 of the last 12 and counting, now may not even win their division. Was there when Seattle won 116 games in 2001 and knew this was coming.
That means the following is about to happen. My Aussie Rules Essendon Bombers will be hammered on Saturday night and will regret giving up my Saturday evening to stay home to watch. On Sunday morning, we are gonna realize that the Raider hype was just that and that questions surrounding their defense were as obvious as those we all felt in the lead-up to November 8th, 2017. And Russell Wilson is destined to feel the wrath of God with an horrific injury. Ugh...they just replayed the low lights of the Team That Shall Not Be Named comeback in SB LI and even tossed in the gratuitous Malcolm Butler pick for good measure. Will this torture never end?
Next, two huge validations on the Things That Bugged Me This Summer list.
#3 - The Poke Revolution. Not a regular of this funny foodie podcast but had to give this one a listen. Highly acclaimed Chef David Chang rails on poke. To quote..."I can’t do it because I look at this place, and they have already-chopped-up fish, like tubs of fish, chopped up and seasoned, just waiting to be scooped out into a bowl. That’s just not how I want to eat raw fish." Exactly. Listen to the whole thing here.
#1 - Cucumber Water. This article popped up in my feed today. Basically, details how many germs are on those lemons places put in the water and how they get there. Totally get there is nastiness on anything if you look for it (looking at you shopping cart handles), but still cannot understand why people need "a slice of lemon to spruce up plain-old water." Are you that much of a thrill seeker that plain water isn't edgy enough? Perhaps the most disturbing sentence in the entire article is this; "Among the specimens collected were E. coli, staphylococcus epidermidis and candida, a fungus commonly found in the vagina." What the hell are you women doing with these lemons? I assumed that 100% of the cucumbers have candida on them, but lemons? Kinky...and hot.
Sad news in the world of music this week with the passing of Walter Becker. Have never met anyone that was neutral to them...either they were like me and loved their music, or hate them for whatever reason (usually not a good one). They were part of the soundtrack of my life, being on the AM radio as early as I can remember. I remember vividly the day my brother came over for Christmas in 1980, for the three hours he could stand to be with us, geeking out about how Gaucho had just come out. Was fortunate enough to live in the day they became a touring entity and saw them about 10 times over the last few years with the best being a three night stand at the Paramount in Seattle where they played Katy Lied, Sign In The Stranger and Aja in their entirety. Can still dredge up the feeling of happiness I felt after walking out after night two, knowing that there was a night three.
Hard to believe, but am getting weirder with age. Monday was my birthday (52) and no one but immediate family was aware. They mumbled happy birthday at breakfast and that was it. And was perfectly happy about it. Nothing new, never remember wanting a party or celebrate, but never really hid from it either. Now, am active in preventing people from knowing and even went onto Facebook to change my birth date so wouldn't get the lame Happy B-day notes. Do find it disconcerting that Google know when it is and changes the banner of their site to wish me a happy day. Like I said, weird. I do go onto all the sites and see what my Virgo/Snake horoscopes say about me and the future. Also look at famous people born on my date too, and it has never been deep. Golfer Tom Watson, Baseball legend and lower echelon Italian soccer team owner Mike Piazza, and some obscure Dutch mathematician. It was with great surprise and joy that when I checked it this year, discovered that the great Beyoncé is a September 4th baby. We were talking about her this summer and we all agreed that she is by far the most popular artist/entertainer going right now by far and feel a new bond.
Now that we've spent a few years in typhoon country, we've been staying tuned into the news of Harvey and Irma. All of the emotion and tragedy and stories of heroes are fascinating. There is one issue that got exposed in stark relief that I simply cannot understand is an issue at all. I love astronomy and have been fascinated as early as I can remember with space exploration with the first moon landing being one of the earliest memories I can recall. As a teen, watched the images from the Voyagers as they came into JPL and can still see the face of the scientist gasp in pure ecstasy upon seeing that first one pop up on the screen. And that we just sent a craft the size of a Volkswagen to Pluto and hit the mark to within a few meters of its target is all you need to know about the capability of the human mind.
So am watching/reading the coverage of the aftermath of the Houston storm/pending Irma landfall and meteorologists are saying that the power of the storms are greater as the water temperature increases their ferocity, and that the warming of the planet is a likely contributor. Seems logical and if the scientific community is agreeing on something, we should treat that pretty damn seriously. I simply do not get how a certain segment of our population discounts these freaking geniuses by saying it is a hoax, conspiracy or some weird religion. Are the scientists right about it? I dunno, probably. Could they be wrong and it isn't caused by man? Absolutely. Am old enough to remember that eggs were good for you, then bad, then kinda good, and then you should only eat the whites.
So while I think there is something to it, am also one that concedes that science could be totally wrong. What absolutely boggles is the argument against. First...the statement that it is a hoax/conspiracy. Have you ever met a scientist? Their cluelessness to social cues is uniform and that they could gauge world opinion enough to collectively come up with a narrative like this is simply bat shit crazy. Now that they have established by sound byte that this group of "other" people is conspiring to screw you, here is how they justify it. We gotta protect coal jobs. Those have been going away for decades with technology being the main culprit. Coal miner is unquestionably is in the top 5 on the crappiest jobs list, and if you've ever been anywhere near a mine or plant or China, you can see the pollution entering your system. Next argument...climate change and clean energy is a religion for atheists. Breathtaking and am simply in awe that the can sucker in all the evangelical/thumpers so easily. But the hypocrisy that gets me the most is that the benefit of getting off a dependence on oil seems like a no brainer across any aisle. Would seem that not having to rely on the dreaded Mooselambs for oil should be job one for the party formerly known as the GOP. What is the upside for more coal and oil? Obviously the answer is money and power.
Unlike other political arguments, like a big ass wall, what if you're wrong? Sickens me that the people leading the government say we shouldn't be using these tragedies to raise the issue when this is precisely the time that people are paying attention to it and can understand future ramifications. And while I have no illusions that the left will use whatever means necessary to gain power, the abandonment of all moralistic high ground by the Republicans in adherence to their donors on the one hand, and pandering to those ignorants that need someone to blame on the other has gone beyond the point of disheartening. I used to love having political debates, but now? Everyone is a conspiracy theorist untethered to reality. Come back to us GOP.
I said I'd do more Taiwan stuff today, but got sidetracked. I will say that this week was the important Ghost Festival week, where all of the businesses and apartments make their offerings to the spirits so that they don't hassle the living. Joined Betty at Costco for their Bai Bai this year. At precisely 2:30pm, cause there is some industry that tells each business the exact moment they need to make their prayer to the Spirits, the incense is lit and the offerings (also very specific in nature) are laid out and the whole company comes out to do the praying. The whole town is doing this throughout the day and the smell of incense permeates the air from sun up to sun down.
The precision and adherence to tradition amongst the Taiwanese is stunning and almost Teutonic. Did you know how many Germans it takes to screw in a light bulb? One, cause they are very efficient and not very funny. Unsurprisingly, I told that one to the German lady at the office the other day and she didn't get it. What's my point again? Oh yeah...Taiwanese adhere to tradition. Lunch hour here is from noon to 1pm, and there is absolutely no deviating from that schedule. Can't leave early, or go late...you must go at noon and wait in line with every other schlub in town. While I find this an admirable trait, is also emblematic at one of their biggest flaws in that they are extremely reluctant to thinking outside of the box. Give them a task and they will complete it with singular vision, but ask them to be visionary and they struggle. This editorial from the Taipei Times does a good job looking at this phenomenon.
Finally, had a local physical therapist recommended for my back, and Betty (who has some knee issues) and I both went to try it out. The good? It was with an office that took National Health Insurance and was able to get an appointment within a couple days. Our initial visit, that included consultation with the doctor and therapy (elctro-stimulus and traction for me/x-ray and therapy for Betty) cost us NT$200 (US$6) each, and we have 6 therapy sessions prescribed that will cost NT$50 (about US$1.50) each. The therapy itself was fine as far as I could tell, although I am wildly skeptical of that elctro-stimulous device. The bad? The therapy floor was communal. At least 10 people all in one big room getting their ailments treated. And pretty dingy...it wasn't dirty per se, but it felt that way to one used to the uber hygienic feeling PT rooms in the States. As we all know, and as evidenced in the study linked to above about lemons, you know there is fecal matter and whatever the hell you women are rubbing on shit everywhere. We walked out and Betty was kinda bumped by the scene in general. I wasn't as disgusted by the facility, but it did feel a bit impersonal and that the care was more procedural than personal. Have always felt that the PT game was as much drumming up future business as it was in real rehabilitation anyway, so will call it a push at this point.
Ohhh...KC just spanked the Pats in the season opener as I wrote the above and sitting here with a smile on my face. Screw those guys.
Up the Bombers. Going into the (Red)Zone on Sunday. Life is good.
Saturday, September 9, 2017
Sunday, September 3, 2017
September 2nd, 2017
Added this note just before sending...this site is acting up when I am trying to proof read...shutting down when making corrections. Tried to fix all the typos and clean up the coherence, but some boo-boos are gonna sneak through. Apologies in advance.
This is year six for us and much like the Dragon Boat Festival in the Spring, the Chinese calendar is lining up later this year and another holiday landed on our time here...Chinese Valentine's Day. You can read about it there but it is about start crossed lovers willing to give up everything for each other, dad's taking care of the kids, magical oxen. Same old story. Will dig into Taiwan stuff more next week, but need to finish off the travelogue today.
Our time in Seattle this year was short and we were on a rigorous schedule to see as many folks as possible. We did pretty good...was happy we saw you for as much as we did and commit to seeing those we missed next time. We had dinner every night with a different crew and it was delightful to hear about all of the happenings in the last year and how the kiddies are doing. Some success stories, a few harrowing tales and always amazed how much comes out in a few treasured hours together. Was truly lovely to see you all.
Some Seattle impressions
We scheduled our doctor visits early in the visit so we had time for any needed follow-up. The Boy transitioned from pediatrician to big boy doctor. My visit was uneventful...we talked about my future and in wondering what I'll do with my life when we get back to the States, estimated age of 55, I told her that I am thinking about a professional move into the world of Uber. She said that would be a bad idea and said that that my working career is likely done. Not calling a retirement press conference yet, and Betty was enraged at the doctor for suggesting such a thing. I didn't tell the doc that my real plan was to work in retail at one of Seattle's finest legal pot dispensaries. The weirdest thing about the visit though was that I didn't get the prostate probe. Went through all of the usual diagnostics and then she says to put my clothes on. I don't necessarily look forward to the old digit probe, but felt a bit cheated as it's like not getting the happy ending to a massage.
Dentist visits were also boring, complete with the usual admonishment for a spotty flossing regimen. You usually get the hard sell at the dentist about some orthodontia or new fangled expensive toothbrush, but this years recommendation was low tech and made sense. Dry brushing. They say that before you load up the toothbrush with Crest, give your teeth the once over with the brush only as this will loosen up all the gunk and make the final brushing more effective. My bottom front teeth are crowded and gunk gets trapped in there easily. Mumbled through the suction hose that coffee and cigs don't help and the hygienist said condescendingly, "you drink a lot of coffee and smoke?" to which I replied..."not all the time, sometimes I drink wine and eat blueberries." Hygienists have zero sense of humor when it comes to teeth.
Have been slowed with this back thing and get annoyed at myself as going through life like a boat trying to make as little a wake as possible is always on my mind, and can feel people behind me trying to sail past in my slower state. Maybe which is why I was sensitive to others even more deliberate than I and felt like I kept getting behind every old slow poke on the planet this year. Every time that thought occurred, an old dude would get in front of me in torturous fashion culminating in an episode out of a bad TV show. I was slow to get to the door at Starbucks on afternoon in Ballard and the old man that has obviously never been there before gets in front of me. I just wanted a drip, but this guy took at least 5 minutes trying to figure out the cheapest item on the menu. And his ears were going so every sentence the barista said, he would lean in for it to be repeated. The barista also throws out the Starbucks lingo, which he doesn't understand, so telling him a short latte costs $2 turns into a 10 sentence back and forth. And then he starts looking at the pasty case.
Betty and I finally got around to making our will. She got freaked by a the story of a co-worker's untimely demise and made me find an estate planner and get it on the calendar. Obviously, one avoids making a will cause that is an admission that one isn't gonna live forever. We received a recommendation and filled out a questionnaire on line. When the day came to go into discuss, the whole process took less than 30 minutes and say to the guy as we're leaving that it didn't even feel legit. It was not only far less painful than expected, and I wouldn't say it was pleasurable, but it was almost an inert experience. I know that most people have the same apprehension about doing this as I did, but am here to tell you to just go get it over with.
Saw a few Mariner games too. Quick digression...this is my favorite time of year. The weather turns cooler, my color palette is decidedly Autumn, and it is the best time of year for watching sports. This fall is shaping up as potentially one of the best ever. My baseball teams are on a legendary run (Dodgers) or are surprisingly relevant (Mariners, although they are pooping the bed as they do every August and will likely not end their playoff drought, which is the longest in the bigs). The NFL starts next week and am a junkie in listening to all things football. My teams are both pre-season darlings with the Seahawks going for one more run with a successful veteran core, and the Raiders rising from a decade plus of mismanagement to have a super exciting team. Even have bonus football now that I'm all in of Virginia Cavalier football. Although that team is a joke not only in the ACC, but with the entire student body, it is a new experience to have a rooting interest for a team playing on Saturdays. Finally, in the AFL (Australian Football League), the regular season ended last week and my club, the Essendon Bombers, made the playoffs after several years in the wilderness due to a PED scandal that eviscerated the roster. They are likely to be run out in the first round, but having September Footy back in my life fills my heart with joy. Will say it again...Aussie Rules is the greatest sport on Earth.
Anyhoo, Mariners suck (although they won every day we went), their young oft injured pitcher James Paxton was on a fabulous roll (since injured and out for the season naturally) and pitched a superb game one idyllic Seattle afternoon for us. Paxton is from Canada and they call him Big Maple. A fun tradition at Safeco in games pitched by (The King) Felix Hernandez is sitting in his section down the left field line called the King's Court, everyone wearing the same shirt and yelling K-K-K rooting for a strikeout whenever he had two strikes. The crowd took that and created their own Paxton Big Maple section in the bleachers and yell "Eh, Eh, Eh" when he had two strikes on the batter. Aussie Rules is the greatest spectator sport, and I get that baseball can be painfully dull, but tell me a place where you can go sit with your family or friends for three hours without looking at your phones and have a conversation? You can't.
Seattle itself is transforming in ways that are amazing. Might be hard to see just how dynamic the changes are if you're living there, but seeing it for two weeks annually, it is striking. Amazon has rebuilt downtown and taken over the job market. At least half the people we know have worked for or are working for them now. They had a job fair the week we were there looking for 50,000 people. 50K! Hard to process that kind of growth and even harder to see where it'll take the city that already has powerhouse brands like Starbucks, Boeing, Microsoft, Costco and Nordies. Property values are out of control, which does not bode well for our return and we were told more than once that we should buy something now. Must say that it is kinda fun to dream about neighborhoods and such.
What was most surprising about this growth was that the traffic was actually better this year and by a lot. The locals still bitch, but the massive highway infrastructure projects must be getting done cause we zoomed all over the usual choke points with minimal snarls.
With all the growth in on-line biz, there were a few brick and mortar stores that have been usual haunts on our visits that were a bit sad. Target seems to have lost some of their game with many shelves poorly stocked. That was nothing compared to Best Buy with whole racks completely baren. The worst of all were my favorite places of shopping...the used record stores. I could (and have) spent hours thumbing through music and would have to make some hard decisions as I'd have 10-20 items but could only justify buying a half dozen. Now, while the bins were still full, they were loaded with stuff I already have or multiple copies of Spin Docters CD's. Most new stuff is on-line only. I know that I am a dinosaur in wanting hard copies of music, but it is difficult to know that like the dinosaurs, am becoming extinct. I did pick up the Purple Rain reissue (4 CD's of gold that you can't get on iTunes) and this fantastic 5 disc compilation from R&B and pioneering rock and roll label Specialty records, whose heyday spanned post-War America through the 50's.
This track came on and was instantly familiar...think it was from some Looney Tunes cartoon.
On the last weekend before coming back, made the trek down to Portland for a couple days of Pickathon. Had a fabulous time last year, especially as my beloved Yo La Tengo played, and with Bumbershoot changing their focus from my generation to whatever comes after Millennials, have made Pickathon my music festival pilgrimage of choice.
This years line-up wasn't as strong for me as last (mentioned my beloveds, yes?), and it was stinky hot (we could not escape heat at any point this year), but it is a fabulous setting and there were some great oldies (Jonathan Richman/Dinosaur Jr.) as well as a ton of interesting new indie things (Steve Gunn/Ex-Cult) that cooked.. Ex-Cult were some blistering punks from Tennessee and at Pickathon, you can get up front relatively easy, even for me that was hobbling on a cane. I was at the stage and a mosh pit broke out, but my fellow festival concert goers took care of me and got in between the slam dancers and I. The best thing about these festivals is stumbling into bands from genres I wouldn't normally see or even know. Saw some Tibetian throat singers, which I had always wanted to check out but were as annoying as what you'd expect. I get that they are talented, but sound like a chainsmoking trailer park bridge club getting into a dispute over what fried snack they are gonna order. My festival wife Malibu and I both enjoyed Puerto Riqueno via NYC Xenia Rubios, Booty shaking rhythms and worth your time if she comes to a town near you. Better were this dynamic R&B group called KING, which are three ladies (including a set of twins) that had silky voices and groovy production. They were famously promoted by Prince, but their sound reminded me more of Stevie Wonder. So chill...click on this album and just let it play in the back ground...you won't be disappointed.
Best of all were this trio of sisters called A-Wa. From Tel Aviv from a family of Yemeni immigrants, kept thinking this sounds like what a rockin' wedding in Israel (or Yemen) must sound like. The backing band was absolutely on fire and rocked our brains out. There were a couple of moments at the festival, with this being one, where you look around and everyone is dancing and smiling and just totally grooving to something totally unexpected.
Rockin' chicks were the rule, not the exception.
Before I finish off summer travel, have to mention that last night, Betty and I went to the high school back to school night. Pretty standard fare, you run around to each class on your child's schedule for 7 minutes in each room meeting the teacher and hearing a little bit about the class. There were two moments to share. Was sitting in one class and the teacher is trying to put parents names to kids faces. He asks a couple in the front who their daughter was and when he hears the name he comments offhandedly that she was out sick recently. The dad goes..."well she is a teenager and it was that time of the month." Dude? I'm inappropriate...very...but that was such a shit move in so many ways.
The other was listening to one teacher who was super enthusiastic and seemed great, but had this vocal tick that drives me insane. Have detailed many that bug me, but this is a new one I heard a lot this summer from all ages. When someone is telling a story or providing info, their brain runs out of things to say and instead of wrapping it up will say, "so...yeah". I get it from teenagers whose verbal skills are developing, and it is not quite as annoying as the "so/like/um/solikeums", but it fascinates me so when these things become viral across all ages and genders.
Which leads me to my first annual list of "Trends that bugged the crap out of me this summer". In order from "Things that made my skin crawl" to "Wanting to bash you in the skull with a shovel":
8 - So...yeah. C'mon people...think about the point of the story before you open your trap.
7 - Utilikilts. On the charts for years, one would pray that this awful fashion choice would be waning, but saw more this year than ever before. And some of these dudes were with actual women. Ladies, please do something about your men and if you are a friend of these guys, be a true friend and tell them that it's not OK. Have been on the planet long enough to see bad fashion come and go. Have even participated in some of them (my linen suit in '86 felt like a good idea at the time). I am tolerant of the dumb ass man-bun guys, a bit less so with the hipster homeless beards (how do these guys get laid?), but the utilikilts are worn by grown men unironically.
6 - Zipper in traffic. Another classic, but my usual annoyance is with the local Taiwanese that run up the ass of the car in front of them preventing a smooth merging process. Much like getting your dork caught in the zipper. This summer got flabbergasted by the people that could see a merge coming up ahead, but need to move over NOW. That is not gonna help the flow of traffic one bit and defeats the purpose of maximum capacity. Merging traffic is one of life's great unfortunate necessities, but if we all work together, we can get where we're going efficiently.
5 - T-shirts with alternative fabric pockets. A plain t-shirt with a striped chest pocket or vice versa. Thought it looked cool the first time I saw it, but became intolerant of it as I realized it was just a way to take a classic and make an extra buck. The Boy grabbed one at the Rack when we were doing his college shopping and I refused to entertain the purchase. I think he brought it over just to mess with me. Had a friend a couple years ago that wore a polo shirt, but instead of the logo being on the front left chest, it was on the back of the shirt at the shoulder blade. Why?
4 - Underpants with non-functioning flys. On many of the podcasts I listen to, advertising underwear is a big money maker and most have an affiliation with a maker. Am all for a revolution in underwear. Whoever came up with the boxer brief is the equal of Einstein in my book. So as the podcasters, many of who's opinion I respect, would shill for the latest in underwear fabric technology, I listened and came to the conclusion that I was gonna try the boxer briefs from MeUndies. mainly due to their use of modal fabric. As these are on-line businesses, did a trial order of three pair. Pulling them out of the package, loved the colors and the feel was as soft as advertised. Put them on (after washing of course) and hit the road. Was feeling good about myself down there when it was time to take a wiz and what did I not find? A gawdamn functioning fly. This is not the first time I bought high tech underwear with this same design feature. The place where it would be and the cut of the garment would indicate there was a fly, but it was all sewn up. You then either have to unbutton your pants, which to be honest defeats the only advantage of being a dude in the first place, or you have to pull down the underpants inside the buttoned up pants. As any fella can tell you, if you pull that second maneuver, you're gonna restrict the flow and once released, more than a few drops will trickle out. Kind of like pinching a straw. My question is, why not have the fly function? I understand there are some guys out there with huge pecker-oos that punch through the material, but most men are average (which is why they call it average) or are like me...average aspirational, and have never had a big problem of the member making an unscheduled appearance. I demand an answer.
3 - The Poke revolution. After never seeing it served outside of Hawaii before, Poke fish places were everywhere we went. And not just one...whole Poke districts. While it fine when on vacation in Hawaii, no one wants it on the mainland. I never saw a single person eating in one in two months and totally understand why small businesses fail.
2 - Political gymnasts. During the run-up to November 8th, 2016 folks were justifying a lot of the vile talk from the GOP nominee by sayin' that "I like him cause he speaks his mind...and he tells it like it is." This was code for a lot of things but to me it translates to "ignorant people like me have opinions and I'm sick of smart people telling me I'm dumb so I'll vote for this guy", and "I don't consider myself a racist, but those brown people, women, poor, 'other' religions are getting awfully uppity these days and the reason I'm such a loser is because of them." For those in that group that do have some empathy, or like their mother, or Mexican food or heard (cause they haven't actually read) the bible say that Jesus loved all people, especially the weak, after seeing how hateful the guy is but not willing to admit they could possible be wrong, cause ignorant people never can do that, their new mantra in trying to justify their continued support of him is that "he is our President and we need to respect him." I heard this one several times over the last few months, always from people that never respected the last guy. I really don't know what they mean by that but we all think you're a fucking idiot. By the way, whenever you say something is Fake News, that means it is 100% true.
1 - Cucumber water. I will simply never understand what is wrong with plain water. First, it is hard enough in this world just to get water from it's natural source to be purified enough so it doesn't introduce tapeworms into your intestines. So let's cut up a piece of fruit, complete with its skin that has been exposed to every kind of feces and pesticide, and dump it into this communal water trough? The majority of restaurant water jugs and even more distressing, every single water tank in a hotel lobby is lousy with lemons. I like lemons, lemonade, lemon meringue pie and really, am not opposed to lemon flavored water on occasion when the mood strikes, which is maybe once every 5 years.. Just cannot understand why it is now safe to assume that everyone on the planet loves this lemon flavored water and that we are all cool with having lemon seeds and stringy lemon veins floating in our water glasses. And now that we've all silently accepted lemons, the water providers of America are now emboldened to get creative. Oranges, strawberries, strawberries AND oranges. "Hello Hotel Receptionist, I am a weary traveler that is tired and dangerously dehydrated and the light of your hotel is a beacon of salvation and comfort. Do you have any soggy diarrhea inducing fruit salad you could give me." At the hotel we stayed in Seattle for two weeks, the choice they made was to load up their water dispenser with fucking cucumbers. While pickling turns them into a substance that is my personal kryptonite, have zero problem with cucumbers in my soup, salad, as a spear to dip into hummus, or even naked. In my water? It tastes like the stuff in the sink at a fancy hair salon after a woman gets her hair washed with some high priced shampoo. Don't ask me how I know that. I would make ever more disgusted comments to the receptionists at the hotel and within a few days, they would magically disappear whenever I walked into the lobby. And you should look at the vitriol spewed on a recent TripAdvisor page for the Issaquah Spring Hill Suites posted by yours truly. Stand up people...see something/say something. I know that you are saying to yourselves right now "cucumber water is OK...mellow out" It is not OK and you know it, but you don't want to be "that" person that is the squeaky wheel. Only way we can change something is if we all make our voices heard.
Our time in Seattle this year was short and we were on a rigorous schedule to see as many folks as possible. We did pretty good...was happy we saw you for as much as we did and commit to seeing those we missed next time. We had dinner every night with a different crew and it was delightful to hear about all of the happenings in the last year and how the kiddies are doing. Some success stories, a few harrowing tales and always amazed how much comes out in a few treasured hours together. Was truly lovely to see you all.
Some Seattle impressions
We scheduled our doctor visits early in the visit so we had time for any needed follow-up. The Boy transitioned from pediatrician to big boy doctor. My visit was uneventful...we talked about my future and in wondering what I'll do with my life when we get back to the States, estimated age of 55, I told her that I am thinking about a professional move into the world of Uber. She said that would be a bad idea and said that that my working career is likely done. Not calling a retirement press conference yet, and Betty was enraged at the doctor for suggesting such a thing. I didn't tell the doc that my real plan was to work in retail at one of Seattle's finest legal pot dispensaries. The weirdest thing about the visit though was that I didn't get the prostate probe. Went through all of the usual diagnostics and then she says to put my clothes on. I don't necessarily look forward to the old digit probe, but felt a bit cheated as it's like not getting the happy ending to a massage.
Dentist visits were also boring, complete with the usual admonishment for a spotty flossing regimen. You usually get the hard sell at the dentist about some orthodontia or new fangled expensive toothbrush, but this years recommendation was low tech and made sense. Dry brushing. They say that before you load up the toothbrush with Crest, give your teeth the once over with the brush only as this will loosen up all the gunk and make the final brushing more effective. My bottom front teeth are crowded and gunk gets trapped in there easily. Mumbled through the suction hose that coffee and cigs don't help and the hygienist said condescendingly, "you drink a lot of coffee and smoke?" to which I replied..."not all the time, sometimes I drink wine and eat blueberries." Hygienists have zero sense of humor when it comes to teeth.
Have been slowed with this back thing and get annoyed at myself as going through life like a boat trying to make as little a wake as possible is always on my mind, and can feel people behind me trying to sail past in my slower state. Maybe which is why I was sensitive to others even more deliberate than I and felt like I kept getting behind every old slow poke on the planet this year. Every time that thought occurred, an old dude would get in front of me in torturous fashion culminating in an episode out of a bad TV show. I was slow to get to the door at Starbucks on afternoon in Ballard and the old man that has obviously never been there before gets in front of me. I just wanted a drip, but this guy took at least 5 minutes trying to figure out the cheapest item on the menu. And his ears were going so every sentence the barista said, he would lean in for it to be repeated. The barista also throws out the Starbucks lingo, which he doesn't understand, so telling him a short latte costs $2 turns into a 10 sentence back and forth. And then he starts looking at the pasty case.
Betty and I finally got around to making our will. She got freaked by a the story of a co-worker's untimely demise and made me find an estate planner and get it on the calendar. Obviously, one avoids making a will cause that is an admission that one isn't gonna live forever. We received a recommendation and filled out a questionnaire on line. When the day came to go into discuss, the whole process took less than 30 minutes and say to the guy as we're leaving that it didn't even feel legit. It was not only far less painful than expected, and I wouldn't say it was pleasurable, but it was almost an inert experience. I know that most people have the same apprehension about doing this as I did, but am here to tell you to just go get it over with.
Saw a few Mariner games too. Quick digression...this is my favorite time of year. The weather turns cooler, my color palette is decidedly Autumn, and it is the best time of year for watching sports. This fall is shaping up as potentially one of the best ever. My baseball teams are on a legendary run (Dodgers) or are surprisingly relevant (Mariners, although they are pooping the bed as they do every August and will likely not end their playoff drought, which is the longest in the bigs). The NFL starts next week and am a junkie in listening to all things football. My teams are both pre-season darlings with the Seahawks going for one more run with a successful veteran core, and the Raiders rising from a decade plus of mismanagement to have a super exciting team. Even have bonus football now that I'm all in of Virginia Cavalier football. Although that team is a joke not only in the ACC, but with the entire student body, it is a new experience to have a rooting interest for a team playing on Saturdays. Finally, in the AFL (Australian Football League), the regular season ended last week and my club, the Essendon Bombers, made the playoffs after several years in the wilderness due to a PED scandal that eviscerated the roster. They are likely to be run out in the first round, but having September Footy back in my life fills my heart with joy. Will say it again...Aussie Rules is the greatest sport on Earth.
Anyhoo, Mariners suck (although they won every day we went), their young oft injured pitcher James Paxton was on a fabulous roll (since injured and out for the season naturally) and pitched a superb game one idyllic Seattle afternoon for us. Paxton is from Canada and they call him Big Maple. A fun tradition at Safeco in games pitched by (The King) Felix Hernandez is sitting in his section down the left field line called the King's Court, everyone wearing the same shirt and yelling K-K-K rooting for a strikeout whenever he had two strikes. The crowd took that and created their own Paxton Big Maple section in the bleachers and yell "Eh, Eh, Eh" when he had two strikes on the batter. Aussie Rules is the greatest spectator sport, and I get that baseball can be painfully dull, but tell me a place where you can go sit with your family or friends for three hours without looking at your phones and have a conversation? You can't.
Seattle itself is transforming in ways that are amazing. Might be hard to see just how dynamic the changes are if you're living there, but seeing it for two weeks annually, it is striking. Amazon has rebuilt downtown and taken over the job market. At least half the people we know have worked for or are working for them now. They had a job fair the week we were there looking for 50,000 people. 50K! Hard to process that kind of growth and even harder to see where it'll take the city that already has powerhouse brands like Starbucks, Boeing, Microsoft, Costco and Nordies. Property values are out of control, which does not bode well for our return and we were told more than once that we should buy something now. Must say that it is kinda fun to dream about neighborhoods and such.
What was most surprising about this growth was that the traffic was actually better this year and by a lot. The locals still bitch, but the massive highway infrastructure projects must be getting done cause we zoomed all over the usual choke points with minimal snarls.
With all the growth in on-line biz, there were a few brick and mortar stores that have been usual haunts on our visits that were a bit sad. Target seems to have lost some of their game with many shelves poorly stocked. That was nothing compared to Best Buy with whole racks completely baren. The worst of all were my favorite places of shopping...the used record stores. I could (and have) spent hours thumbing through music and would have to make some hard decisions as I'd have 10-20 items but could only justify buying a half dozen. Now, while the bins were still full, they were loaded with stuff I already have or multiple copies of Spin Docters CD's. Most new stuff is on-line only. I know that I am a dinosaur in wanting hard copies of music, but it is difficult to know that like the dinosaurs, am becoming extinct. I did pick up the Purple Rain reissue (4 CD's of gold that you can't get on iTunes) and this fantastic 5 disc compilation from R&B and pioneering rock and roll label Specialty records, whose heyday spanned post-War America through the 50's.
This track came on and was instantly familiar...think it was from some Looney Tunes cartoon.
On the last weekend before coming back, made the trek down to Portland for a couple days of Pickathon. Had a fabulous time last year, especially as my beloved Yo La Tengo played, and with Bumbershoot changing their focus from my generation to whatever comes after Millennials, have made Pickathon my music festival pilgrimage of choice.
This years line-up wasn't as strong for me as last (mentioned my beloveds, yes?), and it was stinky hot (we could not escape heat at any point this year), but it is a fabulous setting and there were some great oldies (Jonathan Richman/Dinosaur Jr.) as well as a ton of interesting new indie things (Steve Gunn/Ex-Cult) that cooked.. Ex-Cult were some blistering punks from Tennessee and at Pickathon, you can get up front relatively easy, even for me that was hobbling on a cane. I was at the stage and a mosh pit broke out, but my fellow festival concert goers took care of me and got in between the slam dancers and I. The best thing about these festivals is stumbling into bands from genres I wouldn't normally see or even know. Saw some Tibetian throat singers, which I had always wanted to check out but were as annoying as what you'd expect. I get that they are talented, but sound like a chainsmoking trailer park bridge club getting into a dispute over what fried snack they are gonna order. My festival wife Malibu and I both enjoyed Puerto Riqueno via NYC Xenia Rubios, Booty shaking rhythms and worth your time if she comes to a town near you. Better were this dynamic R&B group called KING, which are three ladies (including a set of twins) that had silky voices and groovy production. They were famously promoted by Prince, but their sound reminded me more of Stevie Wonder. So chill...click on this album and just let it play in the back ground...you won't be disappointed.
Best of all were this trio of sisters called A-Wa. From Tel Aviv from a family of Yemeni immigrants, kept thinking this sounds like what a rockin' wedding in Israel (or Yemen) must sound like. The backing band was absolutely on fire and rocked our brains out. There were a couple of moments at the festival, with this being one, where you look around and everyone is dancing and smiling and just totally grooving to something totally unexpected.
Before I finish off summer travel, have to mention that last night, Betty and I went to the high school back to school night. Pretty standard fare, you run around to each class on your child's schedule for 7 minutes in each room meeting the teacher and hearing a little bit about the class. There were two moments to share. Was sitting in one class and the teacher is trying to put parents names to kids faces. He asks a couple in the front who their daughter was and when he hears the name he comments offhandedly that she was out sick recently. The dad goes..."well she is a teenager and it was that time of the month." Dude? I'm inappropriate...very...but that was such a shit move in so many ways.
The other was listening to one teacher who was super enthusiastic and seemed great, but had this vocal tick that drives me insane. Have detailed many that bug me, but this is a new one I heard a lot this summer from all ages. When someone is telling a story or providing info, their brain runs out of things to say and instead of wrapping it up will say, "so...yeah". I get it from teenagers whose verbal skills are developing, and it is not quite as annoying as the "so/like/um/solikeums", but it fascinates me so when these things become viral across all ages and genders.
Which leads me to my first annual list of "Trends that bugged the crap out of me this summer". In order from "Things that made my skin crawl" to "Wanting to bash you in the skull with a shovel":
8 - So...yeah. C'mon people...think about the point of the story before you open your trap.
7 - Utilikilts. On the charts for years, one would pray that this awful fashion choice would be waning, but saw more this year than ever before. And some of these dudes were with actual women. Ladies, please do something about your men and if you are a friend of these guys, be a true friend and tell them that it's not OK. Have been on the planet long enough to see bad fashion come and go. Have even participated in some of them (my linen suit in '86 felt like a good idea at the time). I am tolerant of the dumb ass man-bun guys, a bit less so with the hipster homeless beards (how do these guys get laid?), but the utilikilts are worn by grown men unironically.
6 - Zipper in traffic. Another classic, but my usual annoyance is with the local Taiwanese that run up the ass of the car in front of them preventing a smooth merging process. Much like getting your dork caught in the zipper. This summer got flabbergasted by the people that could see a merge coming up ahead, but need to move over NOW. That is not gonna help the flow of traffic one bit and defeats the purpose of maximum capacity. Merging traffic is one of life's great unfortunate necessities, but if we all work together, we can get where we're going efficiently.
5 - T-shirts with alternative fabric pockets. A plain t-shirt with a striped chest pocket or vice versa. Thought it looked cool the first time I saw it, but became intolerant of it as I realized it was just a way to take a classic and make an extra buck. The Boy grabbed one at the Rack when we were doing his college shopping and I refused to entertain the purchase. I think he brought it over just to mess with me. Had a friend a couple years ago that wore a polo shirt, but instead of the logo being on the front left chest, it was on the back of the shirt at the shoulder blade. Why?
4 - Underpants with non-functioning flys. On many of the podcasts I listen to, advertising underwear is a big money maker and most have an affiliation with a maker. Am all for a revolution in underwear. Whoever came up with the boxer brief is the equal of Einstein in my book. So as the podcasters, many of who's opinion I respect, would shill for the latest in underwear fabric technology, I listened and came to the conclusion that I was gonna try the boxer briefs from MeUndies. mainly due to their use of modal fabric. As these are on-line businesses, did a trial order of three pair. Pulling them out of the package, loved the colors and the feel was as soft as advertised. Put them on (after washing of course) and hit the road. Was feeling good about myself down there when it was time to take a wiz and what did I not find? A gawdamn functioning fly. This is not the first time I bought high tech underwear with this same design feature. The place where it would be and the cut of the garment would indicate there was a fly, but it was all sewn up. You then either have to unbutton your pants, which to be honest defeats the only advantage of being a dude in the first place, or you have to pull down the underpants inside the buttoned up pants. As any fella can tell you, if you pull that second maneuver, you're gonna restrict the flow and once released, more than a few drops will trickle out. Kind of like pinching a straw. My question is, why not have the fly function? I understand there are some guys out there with huge pecker-oos that punch through the material, but most men are average (which is why they call it average) or are like me...average aspirational, and have never had a big problem of the member making an unscheduled appearance. I demand an answer.
3 - The Poke revolution. After never seeing it served outside of Hawaii before, Poke fish places were everywhere we went. And not just one...whole Poke districts. While it fine when on vacation in Hawaii, no one wants it on the mainland. I never saw a single person eating in one in two months and totally understand why small businesses fail.
2 - Political gymnasts. During the run-up to November 8th, 2016 folks were justifying a lot of the vile talk from the GOP nominee by sayin' that "I like him cause he speaks his mind...and he tells it like it is." This was code for a lot of things but to me it translates to "ignorant people like me have opinions and I'm sick of smart people telling me I'm dumb so I'll vote for this guy", and "I don't consider myself a racist, but those brown people, women, poor, 'other' religions are getting awfully uppity these days and the reason I'm such a loser is because of them." For those in that group that do have some empathy, or like their mother, or Mexican food or heard (cause they haven't actually read) the bible say that Jesus loved all people, especially the weak, after seeing how hateful the guy is but not willing to admit they could possible be wrong, cause ignorant people never can do that, their new mantra in trying to justify their continued support of him is that "he is our President and we need to respect him." I heard this one several times over the last few months, always from people that never respected the last guy. I really don't know what they mean by that but we all think you're a fucking idiot. By the way, whenever you say something is Fake News, that means it is 100% true.
1 - Cucumber water. I will simply never understand what is wrong with plain water. First, it is hard enough in this world just to get water from it's natural source to be purified enough so it doesn't introduce tapeworms into your intestines. So let's cut up a piece of fruit, complete with its skin that has been exposed to every kind of feces and pesticide, and dump it into this communal water trough? The majority of restaurant water jugs and even more distressing, every single water tank in a hotel lobby is lousy with lemons. I like lemons, lemonade, lemon meringue pie and really, am not opposed to lemon flavored water on occasion when the mood strikes, which is maybe once every 5 years.. Just cannot understand why it is now safe to assume that everyone on the planet loves this lemon flavored water and that we are all cool with having lemon seeds and stringy lemon veins floating in our water glasses. And now that we've all silently accepted lemons, the water providers of America are now emboldened to get creative. Oranges, strawberries, strawberries AND oranges. "Hello Hotel Receptionist, I am a weary traveler that is tired and dangerously dehydrated and the light of your hotel is a beacon of salvation and comfort. Do you have any soggy diarrhea inducing fruit salad you could give me." At the hotel we stayed in Seattle for two weeks, the choice they made was to load up their water dispenser with fucking cucumbers. While pickling turns them into a substance that is my personal kryptonite, have zero problem with cucumbers in my soup, salad, as a spear to dip into hummus, or even naked. In my water? It tastes like the stuff in the sink at a fancy hair salon after a woman gets her hair washed with some high priced shampoo. Don't ask me how I know that. I would make ever more disgusted comments to the receptionists at the hotel and within a few days, they would magically disappear whenever I walked into the lobby. And you should look at the vitriol spewed on a recent TripAdvisor page for the Issaquah Spring Hill Suites posted by yours truly. Stand up people...see something/say something. I know that you are saying to yourselves right now "cucumber water is OK...mellow out" It is not OK and you know it, but you don't want to be "that" person that is the squeaky wheel. Only way we can change something is if we all make our voices heard.
Saturday, August 26, 2017
August 25th, 2017
I wonder how many of words I've written about the weather on this page in the last 5 years. 10...20 thousand? Well here's a couple more. A typhoon passed by the south of Taiwan this week and we had about 36 hours of still hot, but windy weather, which cooled off the apartment a bit. Other than those two days, the high each day has been in the hundred and teens. It's 10:40am on Thursday and measures 117. Kill(ing) me. Take no credit for this, but heard someone compare the sweat one feels in heat like this as being 'like a male prostitute waiting in line to see the Pope'.
Anyone know anything about arthritis? I got a ton of it all over. Was just talking to the lady that cleans our apartment and she was complaining about her knee and it being arthritic...said she ate some beans that aggravated it. What? I love beans. She tells me that beans, potatoes and peanuts all cause arthritis to get worse. I eat at least one of those three things every day, and sometimes all them at once. Gonna have to do some research.
Someone asked me if I miss the Boy now that he's at school. Of course, but have to share something weird...maybe a bit dark and definitely twisted. Over the last few nights, have had college themed dreams. Can't remember much about any of them except one. In it, was visiting Boy-o and he introduces us to a girl, which if he ever introduces us to one means it is his "special friend". This woman is one of his teachers, and she asks him if he wants to come over for some "Netflix and chill". Will let you Freudians out there dissect the meaning of that one.
Am sure I mentioned it before, but I really love the In Our Time podcast. A BBC thing for 15 years, the host invites three scholars on for a talk about everything from Aesop to Zoroastrianism. Always learn something from each and they are a great way to escape from the daily grind of politics while bettering your brain. They talk in subdued British accents, which is great for nap time. Heard a great quote that sums up the Chinese and their mentality towards life on an episode about Taoism. An allegory about building a path and coming up against a thousand pound stone. Instead of fighting it, they wait a 1000 years for it to erode and then just flick it away. I wonder who is their 1000 pound stone is these days?
Big news in town this week are the Universiade Games. A mini-Olympics for college athletes held every two years since the 50's but no one has ever heard of them. Guessing they aren't a huge deal to anyone but the participants, but to the Taiwanese, international recognition of any kind is huge and they have been scrubbing the city and fixing up the venues for the last 2-3 years in preparation. I can only hope that they are holding it now, during the peek of sun stroke season, and also during the most dangerous of Chinese months...Ghost Month...as it was pre-ordained from the Universiade governing body, cause being les miserables does not help put Taiwan's best face forward.
That ghost month link was in the local paper and recaps most everything that we've shared about it here in years past, with the exception of # 19. "Do not step on or kick the offerings left on the roadside". I have been wanting to kick the roadside offerings for years but now know I can do so the other 11 months out of the year without spirit reprisal.
At the local Sports University across the street, they have official basketball, diving and baseball events. The ticket sales are confusing at best and I can't buy them even thought the venues are half full/empty when watching on TV. Think it has to do with tickets being good for the whole days worth of competition and people come and go. While I'd like to check it out, with the aforementioned heat and entrance frustration, and that I have enough sports to occupy my mind at this time of year, am not broken up about missing out.
I do see some Universiade happenings as I take my walk around campus, and the other day stumbled on the US soccer team as they practiced on the schools (newly installed artificial) field. As it is a hundred and teen-something out, ask them how they are liking the weather and they can only look at me incredulously. I add, "Hydrate fellas", which got me thinking that I am doing so a lot. Not a counter of water intake, these days it has to be gallons a day, and one would think that I'd be peeing constantly, but realized that I am hardly urinating at all and figure that I must be sweating it out before it can get to by bowels. When I do manage to evacuate my bowels, the urine is the color of Tang.
A little further along, see a group of athletes and find they are some diving contingents getting a tour of the area where their competition will be. Never realized that divers are really short with the tallest of the dudes being my height. And their bodies (boys and girls) were all very smooth. Anyway, I watch for a bit as a local guy explains the facility in English to groups from Finland, Mexico, Italy and North Korea. Sports can save us all. Probably shouldn't go here out of fear of objectifying women, especially in the current environment, but I'm a dude and feel it safe to say that we all check out the opposite sex reflexively. Out of those four countries, the Finns were blond in the usual style, the Italians were spicy meatballs, and the Mexicans...aye Chihuahua, but the hottest ones for my money were the North Koreans. Why? Because they are forbidden.
Last I left off on the summer travelogue, we were done with SF. Kids and I drove to LA for a 24
hour stay to visit Betty's mom and her sister's family. Not much to say about the visit with them other than her mom looked really fit and good. I did budget time to eat at my two LA must destinations. Vim on the way into town and Taco Lita the next day. Boy and I even got an extra burrito to share on our flight outta town. I don't take a ton of photos, but always take them of Vim and Taco Lita and didn't this time cause of camera issues. Lucky for you, have been going to these places for 25 and 35 years respectively, so have a portfolio of pix to share.
Vim was really good this time...had felt them slipping last couple of visits, but it was vintage and delicious.
And Taco Lita has tasted the same every time since my freshman year in high school, which is to say...awesome.
We took the red-eye outta LAX to spend a week in the DMV. Not that I need a reason to visit DC/Baltimore, but we planned Paul's orientation for this week and built in a few days at the end to visit friends/eat food in our old stompin' grounds.
Must say that the west to east coast red-eye, while efficient, messes up your mind and body something fierce. I was sorta out of it for the 2.5 hour drive down to the University of Virginia (UVA) and got caught by one of the Commonwealth's finest for a $200 speeding ticket. Virginia is not a state and you'd better not call it that cause you'll get corrected immediately. What's the difference between a commonwealth and a state you ask? Why they changed it I can't say, people just liked it better that way.
We spent 4 nights in a conveniently located B&B and two of the days we had there were spent at orientation. We split up as I went with the parent group and the Boy went off with the incoming Freshman, excuse me, First Year. All these schools have their own lingoes and traditions, and UVA has a ton. They don't use Freshman-Senior and prefer First Year, etc. as they say that a persons education shouldn't be limited to 4 years. We learned about some of them during our stay and am sure we'll hear about more, but the best was that in your time at the school, everyone has to streak "The Lawn" at least once. The Lawn is 421 yards long and you have to go down and back. I tried to start a naked tradition at my university back in the day...being pictured peeing on a vacuum. It didn't take.
The Lawn is the center of the university that was founded by Thomas Jefferson. He designed the Rotunda, which caps one end of it and the whole area that surrounds the grass is called the Academical Village. How an institution of higher learning can get away with calling it Academical is beyond me...that isn't even a real word. I took zero photos there, but let me tell you that the entire campus is the prettiest I've ever seen. My sister and dad went to Princeton, and have been there a ton, and I've seen hundreds of schools in my day, and will say without hyperbole that it is the most attractive I've ever visited. Uniform styling (based on Jefferson's original design...think Monticello if you've ever been there), huge yet still cozy and accessible, facilities from sports to science are all modern and state of the art. It's like a movie set and as Thomas Jefferson used to say, "Who's the cute light skinned girl over by the butter churn?" Thanks to (UVA alum) Tina Fey for that one.
Speaking of Monticello...have never been. Not during college or on visits to the area since. It's only 3 miles off campus and we didn't go this time either. Told the Boy that the thing to do is to never go. Just like never seeing an episode of Game of Thrones, or thinking the Beatles are overrated, take a stance against something everyone else does just to be obstinate, and never give in. The kids asked 'what is wrong with you?", but after a while, they came around and have signed off on this stupid action.
I don't know about other orientations, and the Boy really enjoyed his portion, but the parent one was completely worthless to me. Maybe it was fine for people that have never had a college experience, but I learned literally nothing. There was some communal events and then they offered seminars around campus based on interest. Listened to a shrink explain a chart that shows depression in college students is dropping while anxiety skyrockets (due to too much helicopter parenting apparently), while encouraging emotional resilience.
This was a topic that we talked over dinners throughout the summer. Many of our friends have kids that just went, are going or are about to enter into their college application process. I bristled at the expectation that parents these days go to these orientations and take their kids to school to drop them off/set them up in the dorms. My position was that my folks didn't do any of that stuff and that wasn't a must do in those days. They put me on a red-eye to the east coast and said see ya later. They sent me to BWI airport cause the flight was cheapest but was the furthest and least accessible to the school, and had to figure how to get to campus on my own (and without Google). Two trains and two buses with all of my gear. And due to me coming back from senior year of high school in Australia, my first semester was in January, so I had no orientation or anything. You know what? I survived. Will have to ask my sister if they dropped her off. She went to my dad's precious Princeton, so likely. They talk about helicoptering and emotional resilience while simultaneously advocating for parents to baby their brats. You can sign up for drop and fold laundry service for your kids so they don't even have to do their own damn washing. Was just talking to the Boy (after his first week there) and he was lamenting that the food is boring. You know, same old options at the multiple cafeterias of Mexican, pasta, sandwiches, Asian, vegetarian....that they sometimes have to use their swipe cards to go to Chik-Fil-A or one of the other dozen or so chain stores the have access to out of boredom. Shit, we were so happy on the day that they had dried out hamburger patties that were served by the cafeteria worker whose name tag read Sweet Thing, but we renamed Sweat Thing due to the unbearable working conditions at the lone cafeteria on campus . We stole Cap'n Crunch just to make it through the day. The only other option we could use our swipe card for was the on campus Roy Rogers that served the exact same dried out hamburger patty. Yes, they are coddled, but is it too much or is being dropped off at the airport without any assistance better or worse. My folks didn't even make the trek to DC for my graduation. Yes, I survived but the consensus as we talked with the other parents was that I was emotionally scarred for life.
Regarding coddling...they do make the college transition so much easier to both kids and parents. Best example is Bed, Bath & Beyond. We had time to kill so went by to get the things that he'd need and they told us to come back that night as they were having an event to do just that. We go back and they are throwing a party...they had food (from Popeye's knockoff Bojangles) and then give you a scanner to go around the store. You identify your items, bring the scanner to the counter and they will pack and hold them until the day you move in. Fantastic service...you don't have to lug them around or mess with them during the busy moving in week. Plus, at the event, we didn't need to collect a bunch of coupons as everything was 20% off. The kids and I were almost done, and Betty's mom radar must have been going off cause she calls us and then starts questioning all of our choices. Boy and I, but mostly me, are getting irritated by the interrogation, and then Babydoll decides to show her what's in the cart and she starts going off...Why are you buying so much soap and what are you thinking buying that color of sheets? We ditch Babydoll and the cart and hide on the other side of the store.
Back to orientation...also went to a seminar as to why you should consider a semester abroad. A lot of "no duh" moments in that one and wanted to crack wise about it. Pretty sure they offered the mind numbing events to parents to give them something to do while the kids were off doing their bonding thing, but I abhor the small talk, where are you from BS. Being a huge introvert when it comes to meeting new people, and add to the fact it was stinkin' hot, the events were all about campus and I was using a cane cause my back was at its worst that week and pretty much went into a shell and didn't speak to anyone. One of the first things the Boy and I noticed when we were together at the beginning is that in conversations we overheard, during the 'where are you from" portion of the gettin' to know you phase, we heard, I'm from NoVa a ton. Quickly figured out that meant Northern Virginia. When we met up again in the afternoon on the second day, he told me that a girl explained that saying you're from NoVa is code for "educated, rich and liberal" That means if you're from the south, east or western portion of the state, you are dumb, poor and a Trump supporter. It adds up.
We all thoroughly enjoyed our stay in Charlottesville proper. Right off campus is an area called "The Corner" and it is a convenient hot spot for students with bars and a damn fine bagel shop. Boda Bagels refuses to toast your bagel cause they are still warm from the oven. And their toppings range from traditional cream cheese to roast beef or whatever your heart desires. Always a line out the door, but they have it down so the wait is 5 minutes tops. Every UVA person we met before and after mentions in the first three sentences when talking about the place. After eating there, very well deserved. Down the street about a mile (with free trolley service) is the towns Downtown Mall, which is a pedestrian only street with hip shops, music/theatre venues/restaurants. Quaint in just the way you'd imagine, it is the spot that will forever be etched in the American psyche as the location where the nut job ran down the protester during the Confederate statue protest.
We had three more nights/days in the area and spent them with friends and eating our brains out. Made a return to DC Indian food joint Rasika (where the Obamas go) and had two fabulous Maryland crab meals in Baltimore. The crab cake place we ate the last couple of years closed and they opened a new location about 40 minutes north of Baltimore, so we had to go. As we're coming from the south, that meant an additional 1.5 hours of driving to the day, but we did not regret it. Maryland crab is a life changing experience.
Anyone know anything about arthritis? I got a ton of it all over. Was just talking to the lady that cleans our apartment and she was complaining about her knee and it being arthritic...said she ate some beans that aggravated it. What? I love beans. She tells me that beans, potatoes and peanuts all cause arthritis to get worse. I eat at least one of those three things every day, and sometimes all them at once. Gonna have to do some research.
Someone asked me if I miss the Boy now that he's at school. Of course, but have to share something weird...maybe a bit dark and definitely twisted. Over the last few nights, have had college themed dreams. Can't remember much about any of them except one. In it, was visiting Boy-o and he introduces us to a girl, which if he ever introduces us to one means it is his "special friend". This woman is one of his teachers, and she asks him if he wants to come over for some "Netflix and chill". Will let you Freudians out there dissect the meaning of that one.
Am sure I mentioned it before, but I really love the In Our Time podcast. A BBC thing for 15 years, the host invites three scholars on for a talk about everything from Aesop to Zoroastrianism. Always learn something from each and they are a great way to escape from the daily grind of politics while bettering your brain. They talk in subdued British accents, which is great for nap time. Heard a great quote that sums up the Chinese and their mentality towards life on an episode about Taoism. An allegory about building a path and coming up against a thousand pound stone. Instead of fighting it, they wait a 1000 years for it to erode and then just flick it away. I wonder who is their 1000 pound stone is these days?
Big news in town this week are the Universiade Games. A mini-Olympics for college athletes held every two years since the 50's but no one has ever heard of them. Guessing they aren't a huge deal to anyone but the participants, but to the Taiwanese, international recognition of any kind is huge and they have been scrubbing the city and fixing up the venues for the last 2-3 years in preparation. I can only hope that they are holding it now, during the peek of sun stroke season, and also during the most dangerous of Chinese months...Ghost Month...as it was pre-ordained from the Universiade governing body, cause being les miserables does not help put Taiwan's best face forward.
That ghost month link was in the local paper and recaps most everything that we've shared about it here in years past, with the exception of # 19. "Do not step on or kick the offerings left on the roadside". I have been wanting to kick the roadside offerings for years but now know I can do so the other 11 months out of the year without spirit reprisal.
At the local Sports University across the street, they have official basketball, diving and baseball events. The ticket sales are confusing at best and I can't buy them even thought the venues are half full/empty when watching on TV. Think it has to do with tickets being good for the whole days worth of competition and people come and go. While I'd like to check it out, with the aforementioned heat and entrance frustration, and that I have enough sports to occupy my mind at this time of year, am not broken up about missing out.
I do see some Universiade happenings as I take my walk around campus, and the other day stumbled on the US soccer team as they practiced on the schools (newly installed artificial) field. As it is a hundred and teen-something out, ask them how they are liking the weather and they can only look at me incredulously. I add, "Hydrate fellas", which got me thinking that I am doing so a lot. Not a counter of water intake, these days it has to be gallons a day, and one would think that I'd be peeing constantly, but realized that I am hardly urinating at all and figure that I must be sweating it out before it can get to by bowels. When I do manage to evacuate my bowels, the urine is the color of Tang.
A little further along, see a group of athletes and find they are some diving contingents getting a tour of the area where their competition will be. Never realized that divers are really short with the tallest of the dudes being my height. And their bodies (boys and girls) were all very smooth. Anyway, I watch for a bit as a local guy explains the facility in English to groups from Finland, Mexico, Italy and North Korea. Sports can save us all. Probably shouldn't go here out of fear of objectifying women, especially in the current environment, but I'm a dude and feel it safe to say that we all check out the opposite sex reflexively. Out of those four countries, the Finns were blond in the usual style, the Italians were spicy meatballs, and the Mexicans...aye Chihuahua, but the hottest ones for my money were the North Koreans. Why? Because they are forbidden.
Last I left off on the summer travelogue, we were done with SF. Kids and I drove to LA for a 24
hour stay to visit Betty's mom and her sister's family. Not much to say about the visit with them other than her mom looked really fit and good. I did budget time to eat at my two LA must destinations. Vim on the way into town and Taco Lita the next day. Boy and I even got an extra burrito to share on our flight outta town. I don't take a ton of photos, but always take them of Vim and Taco Lita and didn't this time cause of camera issues. Lucky for you, have been going to these places for 25 and 35 years respectively, so have a portfolio of pix to share.
Vim was really good this time...had felt them slipping last couple of visits, but it was vintage and delicious.
We took the red-eye outta LAX to spend a week in the DMV. Not that I need a reason to visit DC/Baltimore, but we planned Paul's orientation for this week and built in a few days at the end to visit friends/eat food in our old stompin' grounds.
Must say that the west to east coast red-eye, while efficient, messes up your mind and body something fierce. I was sorta out of it for the 2.5 hour drive down to the University of Virginia (UVA) and got caught by one of the Commonwealth's finest for a $200 speeding ticket. Virginia is not a state and you'd better not call it that cause you'll get corrected immediately. What's the difference between a commonwealth and a state you ask? Why they changed it I can't say, people just liked it better that way.
We spent 4 nights in a conveniently located B&B and two of the days we had there were spent at orientation. We split up as I went with the parent group and the Boy went off with the incoming Freshman, excuse me, First Year. All these schools have their own lingoes and traditions, and UVA has a ton. They don't use Freshman-Senior and prefer First Year, etc. as they say that a persons education shouldn't be limited to 4 years. We learned about some of them during our stay and am sure we'll hear about more, but the best was that in your time at the school, everyone has to streak "The Lawn" at least once. The Lawn is 421 yards long and you have to go down and back. I tried to start a naked tradition at my university back in the day...being pictured peeing on a vacuum. It didn't take.
The Lawn is the center of the university that was founded by Thomas Jefferson. He designed the Rotunda, which caps one end of it and the whole area that surrounds the grass is called the Academical Village. How an institution of higher learning can get away with calling it Academical is beyond me...that isn't even a real word. I took zero photos there, but let me tell you that the entire campus is the prettiest I've ever seen. My sister and dad went to Princeton, and have been there a ton, and I've seen hundreds of schools in my day, and will say without hyperbole that it is the most attractive I've ever visited. Uniform styling (based on Jefferson's original design...think Monticello if you've ever been there), huge yet still cozy and accessible, facilities from sports to science are all modern and state of the art. It's like a movie set and as Thomas Jefferson used to say, "Who's the cute light skinned girl over by the butter churn?" Thanks to (UVA alum) Tina Fey for that one.
Speaking of Monticello...have never been. Not during college or on visits to the area since. It's only 3 miles off campus and we didn't go this time either. Told the Boy that the thing to do is to never go. Just like never seeing an episode of Game of Thrones, or thinking the Beatles are overrated, take a stance against something everyone else does just to be obstinate, and never give in. The kids asked 'what is wrong with you?", but after a while, they came around and have signed off on this stupid action.
I don't know about other orientations, and the Boy really enjoyed his portion, but the parent one was completely worthless to me. Maybe it was fine for people that have never had a college experience, but I learned literally nothing. There was some communal events and then they offered seminars around campus based on interest. Listened to a shrink explain a chart that shows depression in college students is dropping while anxiety skyrockets (due to too much helicopter parenting apparently), while encouraging emotional resilience.
This was a topic that we talked over dinners throughout the summer. Many of our friends have kids that just went, are going or are about to enter into their college application process. I bristled at the expectation that parents these days go to these orientations and take their kids to school to drop them off/set them up in the dorms. My position was that my folks didn't do any of that stuff and that wasn't a must do in those days. They put me on a red-eye to the east coast and said see ya later. They sent me to BWI airport cause the flight was cheapest but was the furthest and least accessible to the school, and had to figure how to get to campus on my own (and without Google). Two trains and two buses with all of my gear. And due to me coming back from senior year of high school in Australia, my first semester was in January, so I had no orientation or anything. You know what? I survived. Will have to ask my sister if they dropped her off. She went to my dad's precious Princeton, so likely. They talk about helicoptering and emotional resilience while simultaneously advocating for parents to baby their brats. You can sign up for drop and fold laundry service for your kids so they don't even have to do their own damn washing. Was just talking to the Boy (after his first week there) and he was lamenting that the food is boring. You know, same old options at the multiple cafeterias of Mexican, pasta, sandwiches, Asian, vegetarian....that they sometimes have to use their swipe cards to go to Chik-Fil-A or one of the other dozen or so chain stores the have access to out of boredom. Shit, we were so happy on the day that they had dried out hamburger patties that were served by the cafeteria worker whose name tag read Sweet Thing, but we renamed Sweat Thing due to the unbearable working conditions at the lone cafeteria on campus . We stole Cap'n Crunch just to make it through the day. The only other option we could use our swipe card for was the on campus Roy Rogers that served the exact same dried out hamburger patty. Yes, they are coddled, but is it too much or is being dropped off at the airport without any assistance better or worse. My folks didn't even make the trek to DC for my graduation. Yes, I survived but the consensus as we talked with the other parents was that I was emotionally scarred for life.
Regarding coddling...they do make the college transition so much easier to both kids and parents. Best example is Bed, Bath & Beyond. We had time to kill so went by to get the things that he'd need and they told us to come back that night as they were having an event to do just that. We go back and they are throwing a party...they had food (from Popeye's knockoff Bojangles) and then give you a scanner to go around the store. You identify your items, bring the scanner to the counter and they will pack and hold them until the day you move in. Fantastic service...you don't have to lug them around or mess with them during the busy moving in week. Plus, at the event, we didn't need to collect a bunch of coupons as everything was 20% off. The kids and I were almost done, and Betty's mom radar must have been going off cause she calls us and then starts questioning all of our choices. Boy and I, but mostly me, are getting irritated by the interrogation, and then Babydoll decides to show her what's in the cart and she starts going off...Why are you buying so much soap and what are you thinking buying that color of sheets? We ditch Babydoll and the cart and hide on the other side of the store.
Back to orientation...also went to a seminar as to why you should consider a semester abroad. A lot of "no duh" moments in that one and wanted to crack wise about it. Pretty sure they offered the mind numbing events to parents to give them something to do while the kids were off doing their bonding thing, but I abhor the small talk, where are you from BS. Being a huge introvert when it comes to meeting new people, and add to the fact it was stinkin' hot, the events were all about campus and I was using a cane cause my back was at its worst that week and pretty much went into a shell and didn't speak to anyone. One of the first things the Boy and I noticed when we were together at the beginning is that in conversations we overheard, during the 'where are you from" portion of the gettin' to know you phase, we heard, I'm from NoVa a ton. Quickly figured out that meant Northern Virginia. When we met up again in the afternoon on the second day, he told me that a girl explained that saying you're from NoVa is code for "educated, rich and liberal" That means if you're from the south, east or western portion of the state, you are dumb, poor and a Trump supporter. It adds up.
We all thoroughly enjoyed our stay in Charlottesville proper. Right off campus is an area called "The Corner" and it is a convenient hot spot for students with bars and a damn fine bagel shop. Boda Bagels refuses to toast your bagel cause they are still warm from the oven. And their toppings range from traditional cream cheese to roast beef or whatever your heart desires. Always a line out the door, but they have it down so the wait is 5 minutes tops. Every UVA person we met before and after mentions in the first three sentences when talking about the place. After eating there, very well deserved. Down the street about a mile (with free trolley service) is the towns Downtown Mall, which is a pedestrian only street with hip shops, music/theatre venues/restaurants. Quaint in just the way you'd imagine, it is the spot that will forever be etched in the American psyche as the location where the nut job ran down the protester during the Confederate statue protest.
We had three more nights/days in the area and spent them with friends and eating our brains out. Made a return to DC Indian food joint Rasika (where the Obamas go) and had two fabulous Maryland crab meals in Baltimore. The crab cake place we ate the last couple of years closed and they opened a new location about 40 minutes north of Baltimore, so we had to go. As we're coming from the south, that meant an additional 1.5 hours of driving to the day, but we did not regret it. Maryland crab is a life changing experience.
Sunday, August 20, 2017
August 20th, 2017
I quote the Simpsons reflexively. A lot. But probably no bit more so than the Troy McClure in The Meat Council Presents: "Meat and You: Partners in Freedom" Number 3F03 in the "Resistance is Useless" Series. Perfect TV? I miss Phil Hartman
We've been in Taiwan for 5 years and one of the milestones is that the lease on our car came due. So we got a new rig this week...
We accept you as one of us!
It has a radar detector, which will come in awfully handy for yours truly. The problem now is that it talks. And in Mandarin. It is obviously telling me stuff but God (and a billion Chinese) only knows what she is saying. And she won't shut up. She turns my tunes down and goes off on some angry rant. Am gonna have to figure out how to put her on mute, but haven't had much luck muting Chinese women in my life, so... And my track record of figuring out things in Mandarin is not good. For example, we regularly blow the fuse in the kitchen whenever the hot water pot, microwave and anything else is in use at the same time. That means the microwave clock needs to be reset and have yet to figure out the key pad on the machine so have to wait until Betty gets home to do it.
D-U-M-B Everyone's accusin' me!
That picture sucks I know...the kids and I all got new phones a year ago, and when Paul shows up this summer, the camera lens in his phone looks like it was punctured with a nail. Neither of us are shutter bugs, but he is going to school and I have alternate cameras, so we swapped sim cards and I took his. That means my photos taken with it suck (unless I am willing to take the point and shoot or detachable lens camera with me, which is not often) and that my summer photos were few and far between. So as we proceed with the summer travelogue, please bear that in mind. Speaking of which...
The kids and I all flew on the same flight to SF, but weeks apart, and we all sat in the same seat on the top deck of a 747, which was a first for all of us. Had always assumed that it was like Heff's grotto up there with velvet couches and crystal chandeleirs, but it isn't any luxury suite unfortunately and the only unusual thing about it is that half of the seats face backward. We all sat that way and while it didn't freak us out, if felt unusual.
I came a week early for the purpose of taking Mom to Vegas for a couple nights. We stayed at the Venetian, had awful luck, and ate like kings/pigs/King Pigs. The slot machines have taken a decidedly Oriental turn in motifs. Lots of dragons, eights and gold turning on the reels and the ability to play penny slot credits in the very lucky amount of 88 cents. Mom sat at one and said she would play it in Betty's honor and lost 20 bucks in the process. There was one set of slots near the bathroom entrance that were linked to a giant video board that would show bonus spin status across the casino floor. These slots had a money motif and if you got so many Jeffersons or Washingtons, you'd get whatever jackpot. I sorta loudly declared that we would never play on these slaveholder slot machines and got nary a sideways glance. (Note...said and wrote the previous line before the Trump/Fox News assertion of the same). I will say that it was here that I saw an example of what makes Vegas, and America so great. The slots were near the ladies room and Mom takes a long time in there, so got to watch the action a lot, and the Chinese were primarily playing this group, but this time there was a couple of big haired, big bootied Southern 40 somethings at the end and they win. Something. With a ton of noise, the video screen lights up and they both stare at it. A Chinese lady standing behind jumps in and without words, starts interacting with the video and showing them what to do. It was money falling and you got to keep however many of the dollars you touched. China and deep South are howling in joy together as they pound the screen All countries are represented in some form in Vegas and they all come together in the hunt for money. U-S-A!
I got dragged to Vegas starting as a toddler so have a good 45 years checking in on the scene. I remember the times when dressing up to hit the casino floor was di rigeur, but now, it is an effin slob fest. At best, the young 20-somethings dress in their hip garb, which for men this time were fitted button up shirts with humorous prints, the tight short legged pastel shorts, and the smelly beards. We will all laugh at these dopes while watching "Remember The Teens" documentaries in a couple decades. The girls don't have as culturally embarrassing a look this go around. The only people that still do it up classy are the black folks. The ladies hair and outfits were always done to the hilt, and the fellas came with style. The rest of you (including me), shame.
Even though I hit a $150 jackpot on a Frogger machine as I waited for her to go to the bathroom before we left for the airport that reduced the pain, we left poorer than when we came. Was glad Mom could make it and I still felt richer for the time we spent together. Her head bump and recovery from last November's brain drain seem OK. Can move around her apartment and keep all her appointments without much help. Not being allowed to drive kills her...she talks about it often. Her car hadn't been driven in months and the battery was dead and needed a new one. She hasn't wanted to admit that she can't drive it any longer but she finally has come around and is willing to let it go. If you are in the market for a 2003 Nissan 350Z with 42k miles that was literally driven by a little old lady from Pasadena adjacent Arcadia, drop me a line. It is a super fine looking machine, but I wouldn't want to drive it regularly. Things are starting to break and it'd be a money pit, but the worst part is that it is so low, that you feel every filled in earthquake crack in the road. And getting in and out of it has to be as difficult as it was for the Cosmonauts to get into Sputnik.
(Update...she sold it for Blue Book to one of the valets at her place that was in love with it, so win-win)
One of the things she wanted to do was to clean out some of her closets. She is probably sorry that she asked cause I am ruthless in throwing away stuff. She barely had time to say goodbye to things before it went to the Goodwill. The best was clearing out her pantry, which hadn't been done since she moved in 7 years ago. The reason I know how long she lived there is that in tossing expired product, about two-thirds of her supply, the oldest expiration date I found was July 2010. "But it might still be good" she would say to almost everything, but out it went with extreme prejudice.
In looking at some old documents we were purging, came across this gem.
She has such lovely penmanship and I am gettin' old.
Learned a valuable lesson about age and life this trip. If you go back a couple of posts, the one where the dog I was "taking care of" died, I mentioned having to carry his paralyzed body to the car. What I did not mention at the time was that it messed my back up something awful. I ended up getting an MRI in Seattle and while the doctors gave me a bunch of info about T5 through whatever and ambulatory this and that, what I heard was that even though I have a bulging disc likely caused by the poor lifting technique, no surgery is needed. But in addition to that, there is significant arthritic deterioration in several vertebrae and the doc said that I better find a physical therapist to help manage the pain that I will be feeling for the rest of my days. Swell. Anyhoo, to simply walk around this summer, had to use a cane often to stay upright. Other than being a hassle to lug around, people will start to do things for you, which sounds nice and know they mean well, but it pisses you off. Not that they are doing you a solid, but they know that you can't do it for yourself. And you know that you can't do it for yourself, which makes you feel worthless and feeble. I realized this as my friend Malibu went to wait for my burrito to be made at a rock show in Portland while I sat in the shade. I resented her for doing something nice for me. Thought about how cranky my mom gets and that it is probably due to the fact that we are doing things that she could do for herself, or did for herself for 89 years. Realize that is my fate and will probably be at an earlier age than her.
This paragraph is to my kids in the future...if I say to you that 'you never told me that', even though you've told me "that" 5 times already, don't get as frustrated at me as I do with my mom? Please keep the great attitude towards her that you have now when it is your turn to deal with your older mom and me. Remember the time this trip when we were in the car and we called her and she frantically said "you gotta help me...I lost Google!" After we laughed, Babydoll calmed her down and so kindly helped her find Google.
Kinda side note...at every instance of something confusing or different, and a majority of times when we would give her good news, like we'll be there for dinner at 5pm, she would reflexively say "youkgh".spent the better part of the summer asking people how to spell that sound. The one you make when something is unpleasant. Got a lot of replies and not one was the same. Kind of a cross between 'yuck', 'ook' and 'ugh'. Everyone says it but it has no written form. Ughck? Not sure what the answer is, either to my spelling, or painful age syndrome. .
Mentioned that Babydoll had one of her oldest friends down from Seattle to spend 10 days or so with us in SF. The friend had never been in the area before so tried to show her the sights...GG Bridge, cable cars, etc. We collected a lot of them but never felt the girls were into it. Like many 14 year olds, their silence is only broken by eye rolls or scathing commentary. For example, did the pilgrimage to Lombard Street and their comment was...'so it's a twisty street...is that it?" I'd like to think that they appreciated the touring and will leave it at that.
I do know that Babydoll's friend enjoyed stopping by and taking a photo in front of the Full House house. Funny what things from the past make it through to the next generations. One thing I am sure that they both enjoyed was going to the Pride Parade and festival. As you can guess, SF throws a huge one and the parade itself lasted at least 6 hours...dozens (hundreds?) of companies had huge contingents, lots of assembly people and other officials, and just loads of every freak the city has to offer gets to fly their flag on this day. Glitter and feathers galore.
The best t-shirt I saw said that rhinoceroses are just chubby unicorns. The girls were asked a couple times if they were a couple. And nude dudes...many uin-attractive guys just walking around without clothes on. I get that it is the day to let it all hang out, but you know these tools look for every opportunity to get naked. Boy Scout jamborees, Thanksgiving, Tuesdays. Reminded me of my favorite saying about San Francisco...the city where you walk a mile uphill to watch a homeless guy shit in the bushes. Babydolls friend was delighted to see a character from RuPaul's Drag Race taking photos with the crowd. Farrah Moan had such lovely skin.
Everyone loves San Francisco. Great scenery, open minded populace, etc. Here is the dirty little secret...the place is a shit hole. The weather is great, unless it's not, which in the "City" is often. Actually, I like that better than the hot stuff, but still. Traffic is unbearable, crumbling infrastructure, food is uber-pretentious and priced for tech moguls, and rent has excluded anyone making a normal wage from living anywhere near where they work. Most of the souvenirs play off of their hippie days, which means that that was their cultural peak. And you'd think that everyone would be tech savvy, but the internet was slow and would brown out often...and no one has a printer that works. "Who uses paper anymore." I heard condescendingly from non-working printer owners. Then why do you have a printer that doesn't work?
Way too many people feel it is good form to bring their dogs to restaurants with them. I know you think your dog is family, you bathe it regularly, whatever, but the hubris on display in this town is astonishing. I will exaggerate in this space from time to time to make jokes, but I swear that I heard/overheard three times a sentence that started "This might sound elitist, but..." What followed was certainly that, but do give them credit for self-awareness.
Went to the Sunday Palo Alto Farmer's market a few times, and the food was delish in the vein described above. The emphasis on organic while admirable, felt a tad pretentious. The hipster beard guy handing out peach samples said to me as I asked if it was OK to take a second slice, "I'm not the Peach Police brah." What we could not get our heads around though was the organic gene spliced fruits.
Since when were simple plums, nectarines or peaches not enough for you? I asked the fruit sommelier on hand how these freaks of science can be considered 'organic'. Seems like the opposite to me. Declared that I would never eat these things as they were an affront to God. The game to come up with the most outrageous combination was on. The best idea was to grow guacamole and create a Tomocado.
We go there for extended periods every summer, so probably have covered most everything before and may rehash some things, but will throw out some thoughts from the official record anyhoo.
Nearly got sunstroke at an A's game on the hottest day of the year. While we spent it with dear friends from Taiwan that moved back (and had sumptuous Thai food afterwards...best crispy fish I've ever had), my ass was scorched from sitting on the plastic chair. I do love the O.co crowd and their 7th inning rendition of 2 Legit 2 Quit is a highlight.
Before my sister left for her trip, we did a run through of the house...spare keys, watering schedule, the usual. When we're done, they ask if I have any questions. "Just two, where is the fire extinguisher and the plunger?" They were not as amused as I.
Since my sister was gone, asked (and she allowed) me to use her car for the month. Her car was my dad's from 2003 and she got it when he passed away in 2007. A Lexus SUV, it still drives smooth and is in great condition (she drives like there is some centrifugal force preventing her from reaching the speed limit), but she could do a little better on keeping the inside clean. She also claims that at times, our dad (who we call Pete-Joe, which is a story for another day) speaks to her from the beyond. Of course I thought that was crazy talk, but am driving about a week into it and I hear his voice. He says to me..."Tell your sister to clean her damn car once in a while". Same ol' dad.
Got a note from her this week that she got a bill for $65 bucks for me crossing the Golden Gate Bridge twice. If you've been there, you'll know there is no way to pay for the toll at the time and that you either have one of their passes or they send you a bill. They don't mention that it is $32.50 a pop. Let me get this straight...they charge 30 bucks to cross that rusty death trap? I've seen a bunch of movies and that thing gets destroyed every other week in the most gruesome ways imaginable. They should be paying me SAG-AFTRA residuals just to be on it.
We used Google Maps on the phone for every trip. Many times cause I didn't know the area but for many others, it'll show alternate routes in real time and can help avoid accidents and delays. Kinda sucks at times cause it routes people to little known shortcuts, but the benefits outweigh... Babydoll says to me, "How did you ever find places before Google Maps? I can still look at a map like Jason Bourne, but yeah, another example that I come from the Greatest Generation.
Speaking of accidents, when the Boy showed up, got tickets for the two of us to hit a Giants game...a little pre-college bonding and it was a spectacular day and game. Was against the Marlins and we got to see our beloved 40-something Ichiro. Again...messed up photos
Going to the game, we get on the freeway where we've been doing so the whole trip, and there is this construction going on with lane shifts, tight merging and inadequate warning signage. Every time we'd get on I'd say this was a major accident waiting to happen, and on this day, we get on and guess what? Cars strewn everywhere...on their side, people crying, complete mayhem. We must have arrived moments after cause the back up was small and no emergency vehicles had arrived, so considered ourselves lucky and myself prescient.
What wasn't lucky was that I parked in front of everyplace everywhere every time. I know say this often and the family is so sick of me doing a victory dance every time, but it's all I got, so let me have this. Anyway, have said for years that it is neither luck nor karma, but a super power and it occurs to me that having a superpower makes me a superhero, and what self respecting superhero doesn't have a catch phrase? The aforementioned 'Wonder Twins Powers Activate', 'Up, Up and Away' or 'Hulk Smash'. So I throw it out to the car (kiddies and mom) to help me come up with one for me. I come up with a couple...not great but we're work shopping at this point. No one likes my suggestions and mom throws out two. Yippie! and Hot Dog. Don't feel it is my style, but the kids pounce and so now, I call 'Yippie!' and the kids respond 'Hot Dog' Superman has several so am still in the market for one that feels right and am open to suggestion. Only serious submissions please cause again, let me have this.
While the Boy isn't an aficionado, Babydoll likes music and competes with me to listen to it in the car. She's into K-Pop these days and the song of the summer (for us...for everyone else it was last year) was Cheer Up by Twice. Enjoy.
I came up with a seated dance routine to it for the car in the style of Toni Basil. Once again...enjoy.
A joy of visiting the States is scrolling through the TV channels. My sister is TV averse but needs a semblance of it for her job and has that weird free TV antenna thing instead of cable and gets the channels designed mainly for the elderly. No problemo cause every night was rerun fest starting with an hour rock block of Maude, and then some Barney Miller. The big discovery though was the new Gong Show. Stumbled onto the premiere episode and laughed my ass off at the acts, especially "Married With Bananas'. Seriously...watch this all the way to the end.
That is the definition of comedy. I thought the choice of host was bizarre and didn't know till I read the review the next day that it is Mike Myers in character s Tommy Maitland. Gonna have to find that bad boy on-line.
Finally, and have no recollection as to why I made this note, but at one point in the 90's. had the idea that I wanted to learn German and enrolled in a class at the local community college. Didn't learn it obviously, but took away two things. One, I can say 'Do you have a free room?' (Haben sie ein zimmer frei?). Second, the word for man is 'herr' and the word for woman is 'frau'. Think most people know that, but the teacher said that the word 'fraulein' is for an unmarried female and she would never use that term, nor should we as no female should need to be married to become a woman. Sage advice
We've been in Taiwan for 5 years and one of the milestones is that the lease on our car came due. So we got a new rig this week...
Same model as our last one, just a newer version. Super nice inside but I think the exterior looks like
a Transformer. Babydoll didn't agree, but likes it too. The people in the spot next to us have the same car and as we pull into the garage last night I yell, "Transformer Twin Powers Activate". I don't know what transformers say cause I've never seen any more of it than what flashes across a screen before I turn the channels, but that is what the Wonder Twins say and Babydoll has no idea who they are, so took credit for originality.
Since there are so many of these exact rides around town, and that I like to show who I am (and what they are up against) to the drivers around me, allow one display of flair on the car.. Put a Sub Pop sticker on the last bumper...can you see my statement this time?
Let's zoom in a bit.
We accept you as one of us!
It has a radar detector, which will come in awfully handy for yours truly. The problem now is that it talks. And in Mandarin. It is obviously telling me stuff but God (and a billion Chinese) only knows what she is saying. And she won't shut up. She turns my tunes down and goes off on some angry rant. Am gonna have to figure out how to put her on mute, but haven't had much luck muting Chinese women in my life, so... And my track record of figuring out things in Mandarin is not good. For example, we regularly blow the fuse in the kitchen whenever the hot water pot, microwave and anything else is in use at the same time. That means the microwave clock needs to be reset and have yet to figure out the key pad on the machine so have to wait until Betty gets home to do it.
D-U-M-B Everyone's accusin' me!
That picture sucks I know...the kids and I all got new phones a year ago, and when Paul shows up this summer, the camera lens in his phone looks like it was punctured with a nail. Neither of us are shutter bugs, but he is going to school and I have alternate cameras, so we swapped sim cards and I took his. That means my photos taken with it suck (unless I am willing to take the point and shoot or detachable lens camera with me, which is not often) and that my summer photos were few and far between. So as we proceed with the summer travelogue, please bear that in mind. Speaking of which...
The kids and I all flew on the same flight to SF, but weeks apart, and we all sat in the same seat on the top deck of a 747, which was a first for all of us. Had always assumed that it was like Heff's grotto up there with velvet couches and crystal chandeleirs, but it isn't any luxury suite unfortunately and the only unusual thing about it is that half of the seats face backward. We all sat that way and while it didn't freak us out, if felt unusual.
I came a week early for the purpose of taking Mom to Vegas for a couple nights. We stayed at the Venetian, had awful luck, and ate like kings/pigs/King Pigs. The slot machines have taken a decidedly Oriental turn in motifs. Lots of dragons, eights and gold turning on the reels and the ability to play penny slot credits in the very lucky amount of 88 cents. Mom sat at one and said she would play it in Betty's honor and lost 20 bucks in the process. There was one set of slots near the bathroom entrance that were linked to a giant video board that would show bonus spin status across the casino floor. These slots had a money motif and if you got so many Jeffersons or Washingtons, you'd get whatever jackpot. I sorta loudly declared that we would never play on these slaveholder slot machines and got nary a sideways glance. (Note...said and wrote the previous line before the Trump/Fox News assertion of the same). I will say that it was here that I saw an example of what makes Vegas, and America so great. The slots were near the ladies room and Mom takes a long time in there, so got to watch the action a lot, and the Chinese were primarily playing this group, but this time there was a couple of big haired, big bootied Southern 40 somethings at the end and they win. Something. With a ton of noise, the video screen lights up and they both stare at it. A Chinese lady standing behind jumps in and without words, starts interacting with the video and showing them what to do. It was money falling and you got to keep however many of the dollars you touched. China and deep South are howling in joy together as they pound the screen All countries are represented in some form in Vegas and they all come together in the hunt for money. U-S-A!
I got dragged to Vegas starting as a toddler so have a good 45 years checking in on the scene. I remember the times when dressing up to hit the casino floor was di rigeur, but now, it is an effin slob fest. At best, the young 20-somethings dress in their hip garb, which for men this time were fitted button up shirts with humorous prints, the tight short legged pastel shorts, and the smelly beards. We will all laugh at these dopes while watching "Remember The Teens" documentaries in a couple decades. The girls don't have as culturally embarrassing a look this go around. The only people that still do it up classy are the black folks. The ladies hair and outfits were always done to the hilt, and the fellas came with style. The rest of you (including me), shame.
Even though I hit a $150 jackpot on a Frogger machine as I waited for her to go to the bathroom before we left for the airport that reduced the pain, we left poorer than when we came. Was glad Mom could make it and I still felt richer for the time we spent together. Her head bump and recovery from last November's brain drain seem OK. Can move around her apartment and keep all her appointments without much help. Not being allowed to drive kills her...she talks about it often. Her car hadn't been driven in months and the battery was dead and needed a new one. She hasn't wanted to admit that she can't drive it any longer but she finally has come around and is willing to let it go. If you are in the market for a 2003 Nissan 350Z with 42k miles that was literally driven by a little old lady from Pasadena adjacent Arcadia, drop me a line. It is a super fine looking machine, but I wouldn't want to drive it regularly. Things are starting to break and it'd be a money pit, but the worst part is that it is so low, that you feel every filled in earthquake crack in the road. And getting in and out of it has to be as difficult as it was for the Cosmonauts to get into Sputnik.
(Update...she sold it for Blue Book to one of the valets at her place that was in love with it, so win-win)
One of the things she wanted to do was to clean out some of her closets. She is probably sorry that she asked cause I am ruthless in throwing away stuff. She barely had time to say goodbye to things before it went to the Goodwill. The best was clearing out her pantry, which hadn't been done since she moved in 7 years ago. The reason I know how long she lived there is that in tossing expired product, about two-thirds of her supply, the oldest expiration date I found was July 2010. "But it might still be good" she would say to almost everything, but out it went with extreme prejudice.
In looking at some old documents we were purging, came across this gem.
Learned a valuable lesson about age and life this trip. If you go back a couple of posts, the one where the dog I was "taking care of" died, I mentioned having to carry his paralyzed body to the car. What I did not mention at the time was that it messed my back up something awful. I ended up getting an MRI in Seattle and while the doctors gave me a bunch of info about T5 through whatever and ambulatory this and that, what I heard was that even though I have a bulging disc likely caused by the poor lifting technique, no surgery is needed. But in addition to that, there is significant arthritic deterioration in several vertebrae and the doc said that I better find a physical therapist to help manage the pain that I will be feeling for the rest of my days. Swell. Anyhoo, to simply walk around this summer, had to use a cane often to stay upright. Other than being a hassle to lug around, people will start to do things for you, which sounds nice and know they mean well, but it pisses you off. Not that they are doing you a solid, but they know that you can't do it for yourself. And you know that you can't do it for yourself, which makes you feel worthless and feeble. I realized this as my friend Malibu went to wait for my burrito to be made at a rock show in Portland while I sat in the shade. I resented her for doing something nice for me. Thought about how cranky my mom gets and that it is probably due to the fact that we are doing things that she could do for herself, or did for herself for 89 years. Realize that is my fate and will probably be at an earlier age than her.
This paragraph is to my kids in the future...if I say to you that 'you never told me that', even though you've told me "that" 5 times already, don't get as frustrated at me as I do with my mom? Please keep the great attitude towards her that you have now when it is your turn to deal with your older mom and me. Remember the time this trip when we were in the car and we called her and she frantically said "you gotta help me...I lost Google!" After we laughed, Babydoll calmed her down and so kindly helped her find Google.
Kinda side note...at every instance of something confusing or different, and a majority of times when we would give her good news, like we'll be there for dinner at 5pm, she would reflexively say "youkgh".spent the better part of the summer asking people how to spell that sound. The one you make when something is unpleasant. Got a lot of replies and not one was the same. Kind of a cross between 'yuck', 'ook' and 'ugh'. Everyone says it but it has no written form. Ughck? Not sure what the answer is, either to my spelling, or painful age syndrome. .
Mentioned that Babydoll had one of her oldest friends down from Seattle to spend 10 days or so with us in SF. The friend had never been in the area before so tried to show her the sights...GG Bridge, cable cars, etc. We collected a lot of them but never felt the girls were into it. Like many 14 year olds, their silence is only broken by eye rolls or scathing commentary. For example, did the pilgrimage to Lombard Street and their comment was...'so it's a twisty street...is that it?" I'd like to think that they appreciated the touring and will leave it at that.
I do know that Babydoll's friend enjoyed stopping by and taking a photo in front of the Full House house. Funny what things from the past make it through to the next generations. One thing I am sure that they both enjoyed was going to the Pride Parade and festival. As you can guess, SF throws a huge one and the parade itself lasted at least 6 hours...dozens (hundreds?) of companies had huge contingents, lots of assembly people and other officials, and just loads of every freak the city has to offer gets to fly their flag on this day. Glitter and feathers galore.
The best t-shirt I saw said that rhinoceroses are just chubby unicorns. The girls were asked a couple times if they were a couple. And nude dudes...many uin-attractive guys just walking around without clothes on. I get that it is the day to let it all hang out, but you know these tools look for every opportunity to get naked. Boy Scout jamborees, Thanksgiving, Tuesdays. Reminded me of my favorite saying about San Francisco...the city where you walk a mile uphill to watch a homeless guy shit in the bushes. Babydolls friend was delighted to see a character from RuPaul's Drag Race taking photos with the crowd. Farrah Moan had such lovely skin.
Way too many people feel it is good form to bring their dogs to restaurants with them. I know you think your dog is family, you bathe it regularly, whatever, but the hubris on display in this town is astonishing. I will exaggerate in this space from time to time to make jokes, but I swear that I heard/overheard three times a sentence that started "This might sound elitist, but..." What followed was certainly that, but do give them credit for self-awareness.
Went to the Sunday Palo Alto Farmer's market a few times, and the food was delish in the vein described above. The emphasis on organic while admirable, felt a tad pretentious. The hipster beard guy handing out peach samples said to me as I asked if it was OK to take a second slice, "I'm not the Peach Police brah." What we could not get our heads around though was the organic gene spliced fruits.
We go there for extended periods every summer, so probably have covered most everything before and may rehash some things, but will throw out some thoughts from the official record anyhoo.
Nearly got sunstroke at an A's game on the hottest day of the year. While we spent it with dear friends from Taiwan that moved back (and had sumptuous Thai food afterwards...best crispy fish I've ever had), my ass was scorched from sitting on the plastic chair. I do love the O.co crowd and their 7th inning rendition of 2 Legit 2 Quit is a highlight.
Before my sister left for her trip, we did a run through of the house...spare keys, watering schedule, the usual. When we're done, they ask if I have any questions. "Just two, where is the fire extinguisher and the plunger?" They were not as amused as I.
Since my sister was gone, asked (and she allowed) me to use her car for the month. Her car was my dad's from 2003 and she got it when he passed away in 2007. A Lexus SUV, it still drives smooth and is in great condition (she drives like there is some centrifugal force preventing her from reaching the speed limit), but she could do a little better on keeping the inside clean. She also claims that at times, our dad (who we call Pete-Joe, which is a story for another day) speaks to her from the beyond. Of course I thought that was crazy talk, but am driving about a week into it and I hear his voice. He says to me..."Tell your sister to clean her damn car once in a while". Same ol' dad.
Got a note from her this week that she got a bill for $65 bucks for me crossing the Golden Gate Bridge twice. If you've been there, you'll know there is no way to pay for the toll at the time and that you either have one of their passes or they send you a bill. They don't mention that it is $32.50 a pop. Let me get this straight...they charge 30 bucks to cross that rusty death trap? I've seen a bunch of movies and that thing gets destroyed every other week in the most gruesome ways imaginable. They should be paying me SAG-AFTRA residuals just to be on it.
We used Google Maps on the phone for every trip. Many times cause I didn't know the area but for many others, it'll show alternate routes in real time and can help avoid accidents and delays. Kinda sucks at times cause it routes people to little known shortcuts, but the benefits outweigh... Babydoll says to me, "How did you ever find places before Google Maps? I can still look at a map like Jason Bourne, but yeah, another example that I come from the Greatest Generation.
Speaking of accidents, when the Boy showed up, got tickets for the two of us to hit a Giants game...a little pre-college bonding and it was a spectacular day and game. Was against the Marlins and we got to see our beloved 40-something Ichiro. Again...messed up photos
What wasn't lucky was that I parked in front of everyplace everywhere every time. I know say this often and the family is so sick of me doing a victory dance every time, but it's all I got, so let me have this. Anyway, have said for years that it is neither luck nor karma, but a super power and it occurs to me that having a superpower makes me a superhero, and what self respecting superhero doesn't have a catch phrase? The aforementioned 'Wonder Twins Powers Activate', 'Up, Up and Away' or 'Hulk Smash'. So I throw it out to the car (kiddies and mom) to help me come up with one for me. I come up with a couple...not great but we're work shopping at this point. No one likes my suggestions and mom throws out two. Yippie! and Hot Dog. Don't feel it is my style, but the kids pounce and so now, I call 'Yippie!' and the kids respond 'Hot Dog' Superman has several so am still in the market for one that feels right and am open to suggestion. Only serious submissions please cause again, let me have this.
While the Boy isn't an aficionado, Babydoll likes music and competes with me to listen to it in the car. She's into K-Pop these days and the song of the summer (for us...for everyone else it was last year) was Cheer Up by Twice. Enjoy.
I came up with a seated dance routine to it for the car in the style of Toni Basil. Once again...enjoy.
That is the definition of comedy. I thought the choice of host was bizarre and didn't know till I read the review the next day that it is Mike Myers in character s Tommy Maitland. Gonna have to find that bad boy on-line.
Finally, and have no recollection as to why I made this note, but at one point in the 90's. had the idea that I wanted to learn German and enrolled in a class at the local community college. Didn't learn it obviously, but took away two things. One, I can say 'Do you have a free room?' (Haben sie ein zimmer frei?). Second, the word for man is 'herr' and the word for woman is 'frau'. Think most people know that, but the teacher said that the word 'fraulein' is for an unmarried female and she would never use that term, nor should we as no female should need to be married to become a woman. Sage advice
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