Welcome to my diary...the goal is to share with you the sights, sounds, and yes, even the smells of what it's like to be an Imbrogulio in a foreign land.
As you can imagine, have been tuning into the World Series. Am writing this in the top of the 3rd of game 7. Get the vibe that the casual fan is rooting for the Cubs but am rooting for the First Nations. Am not super thrilled with their continued use of the cartoonish Chief Wahoo, but the reasons to cheer against the Cubbies are these. First, am a huge fan of the Indian team from Major League...managed by the crusty Lou Dobbs, deserved hall of famers like Willie Mays Hayes, Pedro Serano, Wild Thing and my favorite of all...Roger Dorn (holding down the hot corner of course) litter the roster. And freakin' 'just a bit outside' Bob Uecker. An almost perfect film. In contrast, Rookie of the Year is unwatchable; that kid is such a wuss but mainly due to the ever annoying Gary Busey portraying both a rational human and love interest makes it close to a horror movie.
Second, am on the record as being a fan of all things Cleveland as I always go for the underdog and there isn't much under Cleveland. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is cool, although it gets reviewed poorly and even the inductees get their plaques and show in NYC rather than in the Metropolis of the Western Reserve. Chicago on the other hand has the Art Institute, a rich tradition of architecture, history and culture...and food.
But by far the biggest reason that a Cleveland win is better is what might happen to the Cubs fans. Anyone that has been to a Red Sox game outside of Boston knows how insufferable they have become. So many phonies with their green Sox caps and boorish Irish heritage affinity (am so suspicious of people that are so into their heritage that are multi-generational Americans). I can just see going to a Mariner or A's game next summer and seeing a bunch of Cubs wear. There is hope as the Red Sox fans were always...and am generalizing here but from first hand experience...racist douchebags. Before 2004, that rap was tolerable as they were to be pitied due to years of sucketude, but would never have called them lovable losers. Since they have had a decade of success, the arrogance and conceit has become intolerable. Cubs fans on the other hand are lovable and think/hope they can weather success gracefully, but know that Cleveland will never take it for granted.
Have mentioned the speed cameras a bunch of times and thought I'd share a photo of one of them.
Bastards.
I bash Taiwan a lot, but this week, the weather broke. Highs in the upper 70's with a little rain...lows in the 60's at night and can finally turn off the AC and fans, open a window and enjoy pulling up a light blanket to get toasty at night. This has changed my outlook on the place totally and thought I'd share some positives.
There is no daylight savings. I know you'll all enjoy your extra hour of sleep, but this unnecessary bi-annual body clock adjustment is an idea whose time has expired. And while we're fixing that, can we lose the voting on Tuesday thing too? Was a rational decision when we were agrarian society but is woefully out of date in today's world. I was surprised at how many countries observe it, but not that the countries that do are all European or were colonized by them. The idea is that it is there to make better use of daylight hours, but how does changing the clocks change the amount of daylight there is any given day? I love ya Ben (Franklin), but am way over this one.
Quick break from Taiwan feather fluffing. Have made a concerted effort to distract myself from this election cycle and have been diving into historical podcasts lately. Have run through all the previously mentioned Whistlestop and Hardcore History ones, but have found a treasure trove at the BBC, especially one called In Our Time. Hosted by Melvyn Bragg, who has this charming wheeze of a laugh when he cracks himself up on some corny arcane joke, he gets three experts on a subject and they break it all the way down. Oftentimes, when a guest goes off topic, Bragg will shut the down in the snarky but erudite British way. There are scores of episodes and it is a great way to learn about history. Fills in some of the blanks on topics with one is familiar, and opens the mind to others that have never passed through the transom. Who knew I would come to love Frederick the Great or the Sikhs? While the accent is primarily and annoyingly British, it is not as mind numbing as the hushed tones on NPR, but still mellow enough to listen to at bedtime.
A good resource for a non-Mandarin reader to stay tuned into the local political scene that someone hipped me to recently is a blog called The View From Taiwan. Interesting takes on cross straight relations and such. The latest geo-political kerfuffle was a KMT party apparatchik going to China to talk about a peace treaty. The KMT party is currently not the one in power, having been soundly trounced in elections last year, and are so out of touch with the feelings of the population (70% of the locals favor independence and that number grows annually as the old timers die off) that this seems naive at best and highly nefarious at worst. I relate it to the GOP inviting Netanyahu to speak in Congress. When was the last time one heard the term "loyal opposition"?
Also a decent post in there about last weekend's Pride parade. Better than the recap in the major English language Taipei Times. I went and walked the route and it was much the same as you'd find in the States. The gay dudes were brilliantly flamboyant while the gay chicks all hung in pairs and had their arms around each other in an angry half-Nelson as if they were to let go, their partner would run away. I'd say that about half of the parade participants were dressed conservatively and was hard to tell if they were there to let their freak flag fly or just to support the cause. I saw no one protesting them and it was all very calm and pleasant. A ton of foreigners were out to enjoy the day and also lend their encouragement.
Asian societies aren't know for their openness to the LBGT community, but they aren't known for being exceptionally hostile against them either. I think that's mainly due that they don't have a book that preaches intolerance towards anything if interpreted just so. Much impressed.
Probably the best thing about being an expat in Taiwan is that most everyone we deal with is of like mind politically. Obviously, I don't talk to too many local locals due to the language barrier, but the locals that speak English and nearly all of the expats kinda come from the same place. They have all made a choice to branch out, whether it be linguistically by learning a foreign language or by taking a risk and moving into a different world from their own. You don't easily become an expat without education and as is plainly evident in the cycle, it is the white, non-educated dudes fueling the party of Lincoln these days. And you don't volunteer to live overseas without being able to look at a person different than you and try to understand, appreciate and celebrate their differences rather than just assume they are evil or "whatever". So there has never been a situation here where we have to dance around the nutty racist that watches Fox News/reads Wall St. Journal/clicks on Breitbart for the "facts" and if there are those types, even they are smart enough to keep their trap shut.
I lied when I said that was the best thing about Taiwan. By far the best thing about living in Taiwan is getting gas. While I've never been a huge fan of the NJ/Oregon laws where you are not allowed to pump your own, that is mainly because the petrol jockeys are highly inefficient drifters who are there mainly to perform some credit card fraud. Here, pumping gas is still an art form and they are opening your gas cap before you can turn off the motor (and I've forgotten to turn it off a few times and they pump away happily regardless). While that is all good, at the place we go to, we receive a gift at every fill up. I usually ask for the box of water and yes, it is a box of fourteen 12-ounce bottles, but you can choose from a variety of options like dish soap, toilet paper or aluminum foil. So great.
Election on Tuesday. Wishing us all the best and that I chose a better horse in that race than I did in the World Series...Cubs Win. Cubs Win.
Some follow-ups to start the week off. First, everyone's favorite topic...the heat. It has been so miserable the last couple of weeks and it must be unusual as there are stories I've never seen before in the paper about the heat wave. Temps every day in the 90's with humidity pushing the "real feel" into the hundreds, a UV index rating of high from sun up to sundown and the air pollution ranging from unhealthy for 'sensitive groups' to 'strap on a gas mask'.
Was chatting with a couple of Nordic ladies yesterday and they were loving it while whining about how cold it gets here. What? You're from Sweden and Holland and it's cold here? Think they said something about it being a dry cold and the humidity getting into their bones, but my head was buzzing from incredulity. I long for a night when I can wrap myself up in a big comforter and feel cozy. I am sick of smelling myself.
Good news is the forecast has it breaking on Saturday, which is good cause that is Gay Pride Parade/Festival day and there is nothing worse than smelling a bunch of dudes in leather on a hot day. Am looking forward to attending this time as I have missed it in years past and it is said to be the largest such event in Asia. Lots of talk about the new government, which you may recall is helmed by the very single cat loving Tsai Ing-Wen, mulling over making same sex marriage legal. Will take some photos for next time.
Mentioned that we had a lizard living in our place but have not seen him/her recently. In the same conversation as above, we moved from the weather to our opinion of the creatures crawling/flying around our collective apartments. Some of us repelled mosquito bites while others were magnets (tam in the middle group as they only love my ankles). A few have snakes roaming around their places, but the South African in the group scoffed at the tame Taiwanese variety by describing how they have ones that can swallow you whole, and Black Mamba's that can kill you in a minute (I of course knew that and said I had seen Kill Bill, which was met with blank stares). And we all agreed we have no time for the cock roaches. I mentioned my lizard pet and it seems that everyone has those and we were all good with them. Asked what they ate and apparently, their favorite snack are the mosquitos. Viva los lizards.
Lastly, shared a story a few weeks back about hemp tampons and saw a follow-up article, I think in HuffPo but either am misremembering or they took it down as it must have been controversial, but it was about two women who tested the items so "you don't have to". They performed as any other tampon would and said that while they didn't get 'high', they did feel more relaxed and tired. I know that I should not speak for women, especially in these nasty pussy grabbing days, but isn't that the point? Was sitting at my desk the other morning and got a call from the school nurse. Babydoll came in with severe cramps and they needed permission to give her ibuprofen and asked how much she usually takes. I rattled off 200mg without really knowing, but it sounded good, and the other folks in the office who overheard the conversation were impressed with my plumbing knowledge. I just added it to my resume for Dad Who Is In Touch With His Feminine Side of the year candidacy.
This week is Parent/Teacher conference week and there was no major concerns with the kiddies. The dance teacher was worried about Babydoll as she missed class the previous day and we had a funny/awkward retelling of the above cramps story. Her teachers all love her spirit and attitude in class and that if she puts in more effort, she could be a superstar. The Boy is doing well in his final year of high school. His class schedule is ridiculously hard, even his teachers raise their eyebrows when they see it and while his grades are good, they rave about his demeanor in class as being a mentor to his peers. Add the task of having to do these college applications and I really don't know how he is doing it. He doesn't read this Diary but one of the reasons I do this is for them to enjoy when they are older. To future Boy, am massively impressed with the Man you are becoming.
I must add that Paul is conducting a survey for his Government class and I sent it to a lot of people, but if I missed you and you have a minute, please click on this link and take it for him.
Having forwarded it to a lot of my friends I asked the teacher at our conference how the results were coming in so far...a lot of white atheists from the Pacific North West apparently. If you do read this, please forward it to anyone you know cause the more data the better. And if you could send to people other than white atheists, that would be even better.
One thing about the school/Taiwan that has aggravated me as of late is the new policy on volunteering. Have probably related that I help out with coaching the High School boys baseball team during their off season workouts. A new policy was recently enacted that requires me to be checked out criminally and to get a volunteer work permit. The criminal background check is obvious when one works with kids and am a little disappointed that they haven't been requiring that all along. Have been coaching the kids in some capacity for at least 12 years and making sure you don't have any pedophiles is obviously sound management. The other part of this is that TW has strict regulations regarding foreign employment, even if that is in volunteer form. I know it is a frustration of many expats that they can't do a lot of meaningful volunteer work here because of the hoops one must jump through to get the permit. For instance, one of the documents I have to get to be approved is my college diploma and transcript. I haven't seen those things for 30 years and really don't remember ever seeing my transcript. I can get it but it takes a month to get here via the mail. I ran for School Board twice and they didn't ask if I was an extortionist high school drop-out so I guess critical thinking isn't a requirement for that role, but one must have a college degree to hit fungos.
Finally for today, I have a confession. Under The Tuscan Sun has been making a run on our local crappy movie channel this week and...well uh...it makes me tear up every time. Am an avowed RomCom avoider in the he-man vain, but if I'm being truthful with myself, think it's cause being emotional makes me uncomfortable. That said, I love all things Diane Lane and she is so sexy in this role. Add that the setting is idyllic and that I am currently plotting out our Winter trip to Italy and have watched it in parts three times. Sniff.
Had a professional picture of our car taken here the other day...like it?
This is what we get in the mail for a speeding ticket. Cost 1,800 local dollars, or about 60 bucks. First one in ages. For non-long time readers, I got about 10 of these in the first month we were here before we figured out what was going on and where all the speed cameras are. This is the second since, so pretty good. I sometimes get totally rockin' out and become one with the vehicle.
Mentioned last time that it was a back-to-back event night last weekend. The Community Center auction was Friday. The Center is the place where I like to donate my time and help them out whenever I can. They are a non-profit that is there for the local expat community by holding classes and tours, but the main function is providing counseling services many of which they perform at reduced rates or free, so they are forever in need of funds to survive. The auction is their biggest fundraiser and this was the best one that I've attended. Not much to share other than this delightful picture of the Boss and I...masquerade themed.
Hit it pretty hard so was not feelin' 100% for the next day's event of the kids school Food Fair. I help out at the school when I can too, but they are lousy with cash so don't get as much soul salvation. Still, I am considered the Hot Dog guy over there as I've been running the hot dog booth twice a year for a few years now. Our goal is to sell 1000 dogs from 10a to 3p and have always sold out. I typically have a propane grill and a charcoal one, but we always end up using the propane one mainly as it is just easier. This year, decided to go all charcoal as the dogs simply taste better. I knew it, and it was pointed out to me often throughout the day, but as soon as that decision was made it would rain that day (karma is such a bitch). Sure enough, the morning found a steady drizzle, but not too bad. As soon as the clock hit 10AM, the skies opened up...pouring rain coming down at a 45 degree angle. My always reliable morning grill partner Louis and I went full urban caveman just to keep the fire alive.
It hammered us for a good hour before letting up, but we kept the coals hot and grilled our brains out the rest of the day. Attendance was way off and we didn't quite sell out, but close. We made steep price reductions just to move the product and were able to feed all the security and maintenance staff at the end of the day with the leftovers, so added a few karma points back into our column.
It is a ton of fun but hard work for yours truly as I'm there from 7a to 4p immersed in charcoal fumes, hot dog juice and completely drenched from the rain. I know when I smell bad, but this day was something else. I had to throw away my wallet, which I loved and has been for the better part of a decade inches away from my butthole, cause it got a funk from the dogs that was permanent. I took two showers that night and another the next morning and I caught a whiff of myself around lunchtime and still wreaked. Still a great day.
You don't have to love baseball for me to like you, but it wouldn't hurt. Was watching game three of the Indian/Blue Jay game and the images of Trevor Bauer's finger gushing blood on his pitching hand was just amazing. He cut a gash in it 3 days prior while playing with a drone. There have been many a bizarre injury in baseball and ran across this article documenting a few of them. Tore his meniscus trying to give his teammate a shaving cream pie to the face following a win. Missed time after his protective cup pinched a testicle. The Mariners power hitter slipped out of his chair and bruised his tailbone reaching for his son’s flip flop in 2010. Broke his collarbone falling down the stairs carrying venison meat Missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eye. Cut his hand trying to butter a roll at a Texas Rangers luncheon Strained a muscle in his back picking up his lunch tray. Missed two starts after developing elbow inflammation — the supposed cause? Flipping sunflowers seeds at teammates. Strained his oblique supposedly fluffing his daughter’s pillow. Dislocated his shoulder trying to tear a phonebook in half — he had seen motivational speakers do it. Fell asleep in a tanning bed in 2002 — was told by doctors to stay out of the sun mid-season. The next game was a day game. Stabbed himself in the stomach trying to open a DVD with a knife. The NL MVP chipped a tooth on a microwaved donut, requiring a root canal Fell asleep with an icepack on his foot — developed frostbite in August. Didn’t miss time, but the legend is that he burned himself ironing a shirt he was wearing. Missed the 2006 ALCS after injuring his wrist playing Guitar Hero. Allegedly broke a rib vomiting after a bad in-flight meal — he played through it. Tore his ACL when his manager separated him from an umpire during an argument. Stabbed himself in the leg trying to open the packaging of “The Club” car lock. Later that year he punched a trash can, broke his hand and contracted tuberculosis. Tore knee ligaments falling off a treadmill — only to re-injure the knee riding a bike during rehab Strained his back sneezing in 2004. Claimed to have missed time in 1998 because of spider bites. Left the 1985 World Series on a stretcher after the tarp machine rolled over his leg. Fell through a glass table after waking up from a dream that spiders were eating him.
The tarp rolling over the guy is probably the most famous but think I like the one where he fell through a glass table after a spider bite dream. And what the hell is a microwave donut?
We have a lizard living in our apartment. We've all seen it and I tried to capture it a couple of times, but he is so fast. I said he looks yellow but Babydoll says green. Betty said that lizards change color and am pretty sure that's not true. One of my earliest memories is my mom trying to shoe out a lizard from the kitchen with a broom and her freaking out when she caught it by the tail and the tail came off. I think I'm OK with our new pet, but the other night was getting ready to take the meat off of a Costco rotisserie chicken. Betty walks in and I ask if she'd do it for me as it kinda grosses me out. She starts digging in and screams...I think that the lizard has startled her, but it was the head of the bird that popped out at her. Chinese need to see the head on their creatures as it somehow signifies freshness and Costco complies.
Am not a devotee, but will watch the show 'Fresh Off The Boat' if I stumble upon it. Think the Chinese caricatures are a little forced, but sometimes they totally nail it. Caught an episode the other day about the brother coming to visit the family and the dad says "let me take your suitcase" and the brother says "no no, I've got it". It soon devolves into a wrestling match over the bag as to who is going to carry it. The younger kid asks what is going on and the older brother says that it is a typical Chinese 'polite fight'. Never heard it described as such but yes, .that is exactly what happens. Everyday on the elevator, people will fight about letting the other person off first and it gets so annoying. Always feel like a loser when I give in and sometimes will battle for a win. The other day, was making a right turn in an unmarked four way intersection...no stop signs or lights and it is truly unbelievable how many of those there are, and a woman is three steps into the intersection. I stop of course cause that is what good people do, but that isn't the custom here and the woman stops and starts baking up. I ain't gonna lose this polite fight so I wave her to cross and she backs up further...into the curb and falls on her ass, spilling the contents of her bag. So funny.
This polite fight is all for show cause as soon as they can get anonymity, they all...let me repeat...ALL will take advantage if they can. Haven't ranted about the drivers recently cause I heard complaints as that is all I do in this space, but pulled up a car length behind the first car in the left turn only lane. He apparently wants to go straight but the left turn arrow turns green and he sits there. He his gonna wait until the light to go straight turns green so he can go that way. Meanwhile, I and all the cars behind him now have to suffer cause of his fuck up and complete unwillingness to eat his mistake and go around the block. Of course, I lay on the horn more than Kanye lays on the auto tune and can see both the first guy and the drone in between us looking at me in their rear view mirrors like raccoons. I don't buy your politeness people cause it is totally fake. The true character of person is whether they do the right thing when no one is looking.
Have talked about the musical garbage trucks a couple times, but someone made a nice video of it and share it here.
Finally, someone sent me a photo from the college days. This has to be '84 or '85
So ahead of the times. I was rockin' both the 'fro and hipster beard when both were out of style. And this is also proof that I was a fan of nasty women way before that became a thing.
No post this week as it is a busy one for me with the two biggest events in my volunteer life back to back. Community Center auction Friday night and the schools Food Fair (selling 1000 hot dogs) all day Saturday. Typically write these things up on Saturday mornings while the family sleeps and there will be no time to do so this one.
That means no rants on the election and to be honest, am sorta out of them. No words left if one thinks Trump is a good idea and I happen to think HillCat is quite good. Plus...I voted.
Just watched the Amanda Knox documentary on Netflix and don't think I could hate anyone more than "journalist" Nick Pisa. Skin crawling. And the Italian prosecutor has spent too much time watching crime shows where the cop solves all cases with some preternatural ability to divine the truth from his own feelings.
China has been awfully dickish lately. Popping up in my news feed at the same moment the other day was an article on how Singapore will 'pay the price' for their actions on the South China Sea dispute and another about how the US will 'pay the price' for introducing defensive THAAD missiles in S. Korea. First of all, lazy metaphors by Chinese comrade mouthpieces and second, once again shows these turds are only about getting their grubby hands on the money. Say what you will about the US, and I give them/us no quarter on their sins throughout the world as there are many to atone for, but our alliances are multilayered and can withstand disagreements. The Chinese "invest" in the worlds backwaters and when they become unprofitable, they are done. Ask the Venezuelans , and as a warning to you Pakistan or all the countries in Africa where they are quietly sucking your resources dry, keep one eye open. They don't respect anyone they feel is below them culturally, which is almost everyone. Doesn't feel as if they don't look down on the Americans (you know, we saved their asses in WWII) but they appear confused by all the different colors of people we have. I do know that they totally shit their pants when Japan rattle their sabres (for good reason). They have this notion that by barring Taiwan from participating in UN conventions on airline safety and climate research, that it'll keep them from attaining independence. Or something. Everyone has to cow tow to them cause they have the cash these days, but their time will come. Being the bully cause you have money and not having any friends in the world (even North Korea can't stand them) will come back to bite you. Hope I'm around long enough to see it.
Here is a note to all the Boomers or Gen X types out there that whine about "the Millenials"...shut up. Your dumb ass generation was no better and you sound like the old person that criticized you at the time. Stop it.
Not sure why, maybe it has to do with he fact that as the primary caregiver these days having to help Babydoll navigate puberty, but Betty sent me a link about cannabis tampons. Cure the cramps and pains of the menstrual cycle? Can I get a menstrual cycle if I get a sex change and if so, as I am 51 will I have already gone through man-o-pause?
The movie Sully opened here the other day and while I didn't read it, saw a review with the headline "Don't Travel with Tom Hanks". Instantly knew what was in the article...Castaway, Captain Phillips, The Terminal, Apollo 13, DaVinci Code, etc. Funny.
Was talking to some folks at school about Taiwan and how the birth rate is low due mainly to low/stagnant wages, high rents causing many to live with their parents longer, etc. It never occurred to me, but 90% of the students at the kids school go to the States for university and I just assumed they all stayed there, but learned that a lot of them come back to live in Taiwan. Was told by the schools educators that the overwhelming majority of those that do return to Taiwan end up marrying other TAS alums as they have little in common with their peers that have never lived or studied overseas. I suppose that makes sense. No tag line or quip for this, just makes me wonder how this experience is gonna affect my brats down the road. I always just assumed that they are going to have a depth of experiences that will make them awesome citizens of the world, but have just a little bit of fear that they may miss a sense of place that will prevent them from ever being...I dunno...grounded? Weird.
Finally for today, I am a lousy salesperson but if I feel strongly about a product, will pitch it constantly and forcefully. Am obviously in the bag for Costco, but knowing it as intimately as I do, am a huge proponent of everything about them. That is why this article about Costco's rotisserie chicken hit me hard. Sure, the info is from celebrity medical hack Dr. Oz, but MSG to make the bird more flavorful? Explains why I am thirsty after a round of homemade chicken quesadillas (the rotisserie chickens in Taiwan come with the head still on...grotey to the max). I know all the stores do stuff like this, but say it ain't so Costco...say it ain't so.
Real short post...am looking for your advice this week.
Joke of the week...What turns on a ghost? Boooooobs.
Decent sized typhoon blew through town this week. Kids got a couple days off from school, but in true Asian kid fashion, they were grousing about their schedules being thrown off/getting behind. The day of the storm, read it was supposed to hit after lunch so made a long overdue ill advised yet successful AM run to Costco. A good day to go as it was nice and quiet, as long as a tree didn't fall on your car. Cleared off my list plus found this.
I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but TW has rigid import restrictions on pork, especially from the States as we pump them full of hormones, and the local made kind all adds some kind of sugar or sweetness to their recipe, which really doesn't appeal (gag me). This new offering is made from Danish pork bellies (apparently, Danish pork is no problem) is thick cut and hickory smoked (aaaarrrrgh). As my eyes were transfixed on the display, I said out loud to know one that this "is a game changer",
Other than that, fairly uneventful typhoon. Some powerful images of wind and water (about 2 feet of rain fell in the neighborhood in about 12 hours), but by far the most viral was this
Speaking of viral, This one is blowing up around these parts. if you haven't seen this stupid thing, you have now.
Across the street at the Sports College, they are having a wheelchair tennis tournament this weekend. Watched them for a while and this isn't the right word, but was jealous in a way as I loved playing tennis but the pounding would kill my knees. Would it be wrong/unethical for me to take up wheelchair tennis as a sport even though I can walk? I figure it would be a great upper body workout and scratch that tennis itch. Am serious and want to know what you think.
Speaking of which...have an acquaintance on FB whose posts I like in general, but regularly discusses his workouts. Here is a post from this week...
"I saw a wheelchair-bound man playing badminton with his daughter when I was out on my hour run this afternoon. That man is the epitome of determination and fatherly love. I was very moved by what I saw--my hat goes off to him! "
My head explodes at this shit. What do I do? The easy thing is to "unfollow" but I like the guy and seeing his stuff. I want to help this obvious and repeated call for help/attention/validation whatever but have no idea how to do it. ConsideredAgain, welcome your input.
Was gonna go on a rant about an old roach filled refrigerator we once bought and how it reminds me of the current election cycle, but am so disgusted by a certain section of the voting public and know it would be a waste of time here as no one that reads this is that awful. So will pass on that, wish you all a happy weekend and share what is billed on YouTube as the Cutest Video Ever.
Happy Anniversary Betty...22 years today. How lucky are you?
Haven't talked to a certain friend in a while and when he heard we were still in Taiwan asked how much longer we had here. I said, "five more years...three with good behavior."
Rolling Coal. Have you seen this?
This was a thing in 2014 and apparently continues today. Even with instant media access, looks like we are still missing some cultural nuances from the States. These are adults living in the greatest country on Earth. Stand beside her, and guide her...
Have lost a bunch of weight...again, thanks for noticing. Did it for my mind as I was sick of looking at the fat guy in the mirror, and did if for my body to take weight of my achy knees (read that 1 pound of weight takes off 5 pounds of pressure). I wrote up an entry for this space before we left for summer but never posted as I was worried about putting it all back on chowing down on all the treats we miss here. The goal before we left in June was to get under 200 pounds and, with the help of a four day "cleanse" I did with Betty, got to 198 day of departure. At a doctor visit a few years ago, the scale said 232 and you can do the math.. Was still sexy and more of me to love, but obese and gross. Hitting 200 was great but was afraid to climb back on the scale upon our return. After a couple weeks, tentatively did so and thought the scales brain had fried in the summer heat as it said 190. Couldn't believe it and was at a friends house that night and asked to use theirs...but they are English and their scale was in stone and it said 13.61. Thankfully, Google provided a translation and 190 it was. Am currently sitting at 188 and thought that would be my ultimate goal, but think I would be better off getting under 180.
It is motivating when people, especially the ladies, comment about how much skinnier I look and everyone that does asks how. I hate repeating myself so I give different answers like, giving up beer or peanut butter, late night snacks, etc. No real secret of "diet" per se other than trying to eat healthier (and less) and getting out for a walk and exercise every day. Boring, but what I think is the real contributing factor is listening to podcasts that I relish and save to listen to on the daily walk. Football and baseball have some good ones that are in regular rotation and love a bunch of those, have mentioned the Malcolm Gladwell 'Revisionist History' series, which is essential, and listen to a bunch of others based on the guests, but the ones I savor on a weekly basis are: - Greg Proops Smartest Man In The World. Improv master, crazy liberal, pop culture savant and pure genius
- Keepin It 1600 Former Obama insiders John Favreau and Dan Pfieffer,,,makes one feel good about the current insanity
- Guessing the lines with Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal. He can get a little insufferable with the Boston fanboy schtick (see # 32 below), but funny takes on the second greatest sport on Earth (after Aussie Rules Football)
- Dan Carlin's Common Sense and Hardcore History Bizarre takes about current state of the world in the former, and in depth looks at all history on the latter. A 5 part/4 hour each review of WWI was so damn informative. .
A new one that is a quick listen is called Whistlestop, where Face the Nation host John Dickerson examines the quirks of past Presidential races. Quite enlightening to see how similar these things go over time.
I love the NFL and worry that its future will be like that of boxing and horse racing, but I'll probably be long gone by then. What follows is my ranking of the NFL teams that when I watch, defines my rooting interest. For example, will root for team 6 over team 9 in most cases (unless team 9 winning would directly benefit teams 1 & 2). But in a vacuum...
1. Oakland - Bilitnekoff smoking butts on the sideline, Just Win Baby, Snake. Grew up in LA and was a Rams fan from an early age, but every season they would lose in the playoffs to the Vikings in increasingly dramatic and tortuous fashion. Then in the '76 Super Bowl held down the street at the Rose Bowl, the Raiders spanked the crap out of the hated Vikings and have been Silver and Black clad ever since. Last decade has been a slog and have been a bit dormant, but a resurgent franchise is great for the entire league and makes Sundays special again.
2. Seattle - Largent, L.O.B, Skittles. Took a decade and switch from AFC to NFC, but living every day with someone makes you slowly fall in love. SB 40 was a great run and the Pete Carroll era solidified them as my second child. Have had to defend having two favorite teams a lot and equate it to my children. Raiders are my first child and Hawks are my adopted one...love them both equally and hate to see them play each other. A Super Bowl between the two? Will worry about that Sophie's choice day when it comes.
Teams 3 - 7 are the lovable losers and will always root for an underdog.
3. San Diego - Powder blues, Air Coryell, Holy Roller. Their games were on the radio when I was young so heard a ton of Fouts era games. Can still see the dust coming up from the baseball diamond in dual use Jack Murphy stadium in the late Fall afternoon shadows. Those were fun and and non-threatening teams.
4. Cleveland - The Drive, The Fumble, Art Modell. If it is true that God Hates Cleveland, who will love them?
5. Buffalo - Wide Right, OJ, Table Slam. That town deserves nice things
6. NY Jets - Pantyhose, Butt Fumble, Fireman Ed. Funniest fans in the biz who know that something will always go wrong for them. Maybe not today, but soon. They warrant better but if they got better, would they be as obnoxious as #32 on this list? Doubt that'll ever happen
7. Detroit - Paper Lion, Scott Mitchell, Mouse Davis. Last of the pathetic/loveable loser group and rates of the bottom of that class based only on them playing indoors.
The next group (8-11) are teams/fans that are solid and I would definitely be a fan if I lived there.
8. Philadelphia - Santa, Jaworski, Harold Charmichael, A fan base that is long suffering and funny like the Jets, but in a different self loathing way and know they would still hate their team even if they won a Super Bowl
9. Kansas City - Matriculation, Montana/Allen, Arrowhead. How can anyone hate Kansas City?
10. Chicago - Ditka, Fridge, Willie Gault. This just in...Mike Ditka is a tool (and everyone knows that Buddy Ryan was the heart of that staff)
11. Minnesota - Bud Grant, Purple People Eaters, Ahmad Rashad. I didn't hate them for beating the Rams every year in the 70's as they were a great organization, but Fran Tarkington seemed like such a douche.
12 to 18 fall solidly in the 'meh' group and for the most part, are interchangeable.
12. Tampa Bay - Creamsicle, Gay Pirate, "My teams execution? I'm in favor of it"
13. Miami - Czonka, Shula, helmets with Dolphins that are wearing tiny helmets
14. New Orleans - Hurricanes, Manning's daddy, Aints
15. Jacksonville - uh...I got nothin'
16. Cincinnati - Munoz ankle, ugly helmets, bad chili
17. Houston - can I talk Oilers here? Bum, Pastorini, Campbell
18. Atlanta - Dirty bird and...the team I have absolutely no feeling for in any way
19 to 24 help fill the basket of deplorables.
19. Tennessee - 1 yard, McNair, Music City Miracle. Why did Tennessee need a team over the Houston Oilers? People in Memphis (or is it Nashville) don't give a shit and that's a fact.
20. Baltimore - Ray Rice, Edgar Allen Poe, Crab cakes. Yes, I hate that they moved from poor Cleveland but that it went to very deserving Baltimore, and they left the name behind and adopted cool name and colors keeps them higher on this list than the below dogs.
21. Arizona - Fitzgerald, Jim Hart, rolling grass. Like an old person, moving from cold St. Louis to the desert. Like Tennessee, doubt the locals really care and sports are all St Louis has.
22. Los Angeles - Deacon Jones head slap a man...or a woman, Deiter, Madam Ram, Take me back honey, I promise it won't happen again.
23. Washington - Hogs, Sandy Baby, Theismans fractured femur. Went to school in DC and became intimate...didn't hate them while most of my peers did. They even had the first black Super Bowl winning QB, but this adherence to an obvious racial epithet is mind boggling. Wouldn't they make a ton of dough on merch if they change it to something cool a la the Ravens? Daniel Snyder is a total dick and even his pets know it
24. Indianapolis - Diner, Mayflower moving vans, Johnny U. Was in DC when they packed up in the middle of the night leaving that great city and fans with nothing. I hate you Colts and your lucking into Manning/Luck. My folks were from Baltimore and while we aren't an overtly emotional bunch, felt my dad's pain. Karma let me down by allowing you to win a title, but that'll never, ever, happen again cause karma and I are tight
This last batch is just me being a hater of good things I don't have. I realize it and will not apologize.
25. San Francisco - Brodie, Rice, DeBartalo. They rank at the top of this bottom feeder section as it's been a couple decades since their domination and they are feeling some institutional pain and lethargy.
26. Pittsburgh - Immaculate reception/biggest missed call ever, The Bus, Towels. Enough already. Total respect for the most stable franchise in the game in a city that is awesome with deserving fans, but could we just have a decade of futility like everyone else?
27. Carolina - Delhomme, Teal, Dab. They really belong in the 'Meh' section but have dropped like a dirty shirt due to Riverboat Ron's whinnyness and the 'look at me I'm Sandra Deeness of some of their stars.
28. Green Bay - Munn, Cheese, Frozen tundra. Another team that I totally understand why people would love. Public ownership, rabid blue collar fans, small town. classic stadium. etc. Other than the gawdawful uniform colors, I should love them, yet here we are.
29. NY Giants - Pisarcik, Tuna, Helmet catch. Total respect, especially for upsetting # 32 on this list, twice, but you see the trend.
30. Dallas - Newhouse, Jones, Collar bone. America's team? I'm taking a knee
31. Denver - Horse snot, Shanahan, Tebow. Raiders arch rival. Loved Denver but hope bad things happen to them.
32. New England - Deflated balls, Pat the Patriot, Grogan.. Speaking of respect, Bill Belichick is the greatest football coach in my opinion. Really, cannot think of anyone else that comes close. Some would argue that Brady is the greatest QB ever, but he is just a pretty boy dating Jessica Simpson and not a Ugg wearing super model marrying icon without Coach. Every story needs its super villain, they just aren't supposed to win every time. What puts them at the bottom of the list are the super villian's minions...those muchkin eating, cheater denying, Aaron Hernandez jersey wearing fans that get to live in the best town in America. Liked you way better when you were lovable losers.
On any given Sunday, you'll now know my mood based on the above chart.
Finally, here is my rant for the week. As always, you are welcome to check out whenever you like.
I put in my travel notes three times this summer that in the polls, Trump lagged in every category with one exception. Non-college educated white males. Have mulled this over long and hard and bunch of thoughts came into mind, kicked off their shoes and stayed a while, some of them left and some will just not take the hint and are digging through my liquor cabinet wondering what kind of cocktail they can make with Midori and Aguardiente.
It would be, and was, easy to disregard this group as stupid idiots and that they should listen to the smart people, but that is wrong. Everyone knows highly educated people with moral compasses forever pointing south, and also that the most kind and thoughtful people we know are often times barely formally educated.. And the Hillary supporters are littered with non-college educated folks and that doesn't validate/discedit their views any more so than Trumps and in fact, will rail against their blind devotion based on their myopic outlook as much as the white guys.
So generalizations aside, what college does for most people is to enhance their critical thinking. It doesn't have to be college per se, as exposure to the world outside of ones own bubble usually has the same affect. Immersion is better of course, but small steps. There are many definitions of critical thinking in that link above and they are all good, but the one that resonates most with me is, "thinking about one's thinking in a manner designed to organize and clarify, raise the efficiency of, and recognize errors and biases in one's own thinking. Critical thinking is not 'hard' thinking nor is it directed at solving problems (other than 'improving' one's own thinking). Critical thinking is inward-directed with the intent of maximizing the rationality of the thinker. One does not use critical thinking to solve problems—one uses critical thinking to improve one's process of thinking.
Boiled down, it is the assumption that one might be wrong in their belief . I am as guilty as anyone else of making a snap judgment or carrying around some opinion about something, to the point that I want to act out. I don't remember anyone ever specifically telling me about critical thinking before although I am sure some professor did...maybe all of them did and I was just too baked to remember. And every person has heard the adage that before you criticize a person 'you must walk a mile in their shoes' (and love the gag that you are now a mile away from them and have their shoes). In all of the bluster going on these days, and probably forever but seems more so not that the cockroaches have had the light shined on them, it is apparent that a large segment of society is missing this absolutely essential check to their thoughts and actions.
I didn't vote for Romney or McCain, but I could understand why people did. They were thoughtful people who had opinions and plans that were reasoned and clear. On the scale of things, felt the alternative choice tipped them the other way, but these guys were critical thinkers and that they would make a decision based on thought and fact and that they would do their best. It would have been easy to discount them based on stereotypes and false narratives, and I fought my Dem friends on that vehemently.
Same with Hillary. If you listen to what she says, look at what she has done and listen to everyone, and I will repeat for emphasis, everyone that has dealt with her intimately both personally and professionally, I don't see where the vitriol is warranted. Has she made some bad calls? Absolutely. Does she admit them? If you listen, she has. If you don't listen, or listen to only one narrative, you'd think she was the devil. She is a (somewhat/sometimes ruthless) political operative, and get that will rub many the wrong way, but it always seems to come from a place of compassion with her being the best informed as she studies as much as anyone past or present. I know that some will read that last sentence and do a spit take, but in word and deed, I cannot think of another person, let alone politician, whose every utterance has been under a microscope for 3 decades, has been accused of the most heinous of acts without a shred of evidence that points to malice that is viewed with outright hostility.
The alternative? The only reason you think he is a good idea is that he isn't her. Who has come away from their interactions with him saying that he is thoughtful or cares or is a good person that can be respected? His kids? Omarosa? Don King, who stomped a man to death, and Giuliani, who said that we should take the Iraqi oil cause, you know, it's war? America...so great. In word and deed, what has Trump done that impresses people? Successful businessman? C'mon now...that record is spotty at best and is wildly incomplete without seeing his taxes. Just cause someone has (supposedly)a lot of money does not qualify them to make a decision for every person. And I am not just looking at HuffPo or "lamestream" media, but with my ears and listening to people that are smarter than me whose opinions deserve respect based on years of study/involvement, whose motivation isn't power or profit. Name me one person that supports him whose motives are pure, or an idea that he has that is well reasoned or thoughtful, or a single utterance that smacks of true compassion. This has been going on for years and have yet to hear one of the above.
I wrote another couple of paragraph that were hate filled and deleted them and must stop here cause it is depressing me. Think I will dial up a week 3 NFL preview show and take a stroll. Quite a lovely day today.
Weather talk - Part 78. A couple of typhoons are in the neighborhood this week, and while the first one missed hitting Taipei directly, we still felt some strong winds. Am walking to school yesterday (about 15 minutes) and there is a nice wind going so you'd think it's be cool, but with the precipitation and humidity, was dripping by the time I walked in. Walked up to an acquaintance and while commiserating on the conditions I say to her, "it's like sitting in a wet sauna with a fat guy farting in your face." She was not amused.
My decision to give up trying to learn Chinese a year or so ago felt wrong in some ways as one should really make an effort to communicate in the language of the place they're living in as it is the right thing to do, but this language is so hard to grasp and was more frustrated than inspired. I feel more justified in that decision in light of the G-20 summit that just went down in China last week where the big scandal in China was Premier Xi's stepping all over his Mandarin. To quote from a Hong Kong rag..."In a speech Saturday to the Business 20 (B20) summit, which advises the G-20 leaders on policy decisions, Xi talked about the global economy and quoted an ancient Chinese phrase: "Make the tariff light and the road smooth, promote trade and ease agricultural policy." But because the last character in the phrase for agriculture is very similar to the one for clothes, he ended up saying “taking one’s clothes off” instead of "ease agricultural policy". If the most powerful man in China can't understand it, how is a white boy from the Valley supposed to speak it without starting an international incident. It is funny that in the aftermath of the above faux pas, the Chinese censors have been busy scrubbing their Internet to remove all traces of the misstatement. Nothing to see here.
Hosted a cooking class the other day...don't usually get together with the ladies groups cause frankly, they don't invite me often and kinda feels awkward, but organized this one as one of my friends is from Singapore and makes a mean Chili Shrimp and she offered to show us how. Chili shrimp is similar to Chili crab and if you know it, you know how amazing it is. Can't recall ever seeing it in the States but it is worth searching out. Anyhoo, had 6 ladies over and the process was laborious but think I'll be able to recreate it in the future. One of the best things about living overseas in an expat enclave is that you are constantly in contact with people from other cultures and in this group we had a Singaporean, another Yank, a Taiwanese and three Koreans. After a couple hours cooking, we were all friends and the ladies started opening up. Talking about one of the new teachers and how cute he was, stuff like that. Two of the Korean ladies had known each other a long time and one says to the other, do you still have that crush on Al Gore? Al Gore? Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, and am self-aware enough to know that I am a big beneficiary of that, but that one hit my funny bone. Saw this lady in the school lobby a couple days later and from across the crowded I yells "Hey...Al Gore". Hope I get invited to the curry cooking class in October. To be fair, he was pretty hot and is a documented tongue sucker.
Wrapped up the US travelogue thing last time, but had a couple of other notes to clean up. One thing I love about the States is the Game Show Network. Any opportunity I had to vegetate in the hotel, I scanned the dial for it and was rarely disappointed. Richard Dawson set the standard, but Steve Harvey does an admirable job hosting the Family Feud. He doesn't get all pervy with the ladies and seems uncomfortable/confused with the sexual innuendos, but exudes a joy that is hard to deny. Always up for playing along and is a great game to play with friends and family. Match Game is another that plays on a loop on GSN...the old Gene Rayburn ones. I remember the TV babysitting me and watching Brett Somers, Charles Nelson Reilly and (again) Richard Dawson teaching me how to joke about sex at the age of 9 or 10. They were so effin' funny. There is a new Match Game with Alec Baldwin of all people hosting. Not as good as the 70's version, but has a ton of potential.
The Boy is searching for a hair cut that works. It'll look OK for a few weeks, but he has this part that just won't behave like the rest of his hair. We 'lovingly' goof on it as we are wont to do and he says that a barber/hairdresser told him once that his skull is misshapen and that is the cause for his unruly locks. That's the kind of full service one has come to expect at Supercuts. We then had the ammo we needed to goof on it some more, with this additional "lobe" being cited for all of life's maladies with the main theme being that he had a twin in the womb but he absorbed it and that his lobe was the residual proteins and enzymes from his sibling. Ultimately got a second opinion from his pediatrician who advised he did not have an superfluous lobe and she was quite horrified by our theories on it
Another day, the Boy and I are sharing a meal at El Camion and we are talking about Mormons. Had just been to Utah and he has several school chums that are of that denomination and we realized we didn't have any Mormon jokes. A quick google search came up with many but none that made me laugh until we got to one that went, How many Mormons does it take to eat a possum? Three, one to eat it and two to watch out for cars. Most people thought it stupid, and it obviously is a joke about rednecks grafted into the Mormon joke section, but it cracked me up Was telling it often when someone said that it makes no sense as you never see Mormons traveling in groups of more than two. Fair point.
If you remember about this time last year, I shared a story about a deaf lady hitting on me at the Safeway. This summer found my sexy stock rising with another demographic. All across this great nation of ours I was chatted up/hit on by aging motorcycle mamas. None of their flirtations passed the twirling of their hay like hair, raspy voice 'hello there' stage, but it was strange how many of them initiated interaction. I know that you are thinking that I am seeing things but have been around long enough to know a come on when I see one. This group was late 40ish types but could pass for 60, leathery, long time smokers and while not meth addicts, looked like they were familiar with it. I figured that my look of a relatively clean, but not Wall Street tight ass looking type was appealing and attainable and that after a lifetime chasing biker dudes that had left them alone, they are looking for some stability in life. That or just somewhere warm and dry to crash.
If you remember, made a proclamation earlier this year that I was going to try and eliminate the word "very" from my vocabulary and think I've done a bang up job so far. Took this position after hearing someone somewhere say that it was a lazy word and that you can always replace it with something more descriptive and interesting. I guess this is something a both self described and viciously accused liberal elite has time to do, but think it is worthwhile. By doing this, you notice it when others use the word. I hear it a lot from people whose first language isn't English and that makes total sense as they don't have the depth of vocabulary and I absolutely do the same with my poor Spanish and guttural Mandarin. Think about this listening to (every) Trump speech as he says 'very' a lot. Not only that, but he'll double down in the next sentence by repeating the sentence only saying whatever is 'very very' great/huge/etc. Petty I know, but is emblematic of a lazy mind and think he fits the bill. And if you have any thoughts that he might be a good idea leading the country, I dare you to watch this whole clip and still think that way.
One thing I know we all can agree on this election season is that this election season is too fucking long. Understand that changing the rules would take a lot of people deciding to not make a lot of money, but c'mon folks, can we all join hands on this one?
Follow up to last time...the Hillary campaign did refund our two hundred bucks and did so timely. Also asked they take me off of their daily email list and they did that too.
Since we do the West Coast shuffle each summer, will try to keep it lean and do mostly quick hits. We hit SF on July 3rd and left from Seattle on August 8th. In between...
- The West Coast MLB portion of the trip included games in Oakland, SF, LA and Seattle (2). Giants Stadium (can't remember it's corporate sponsor) is still the nicest going. Location, view, food, fan rabidity are all in the top 5. We went to a 7:05 start on July 6th and it was the coldest I've been in the last 4 years and that includes being in Budapest in January. Took my mom and we had coats and a blanket and that sea chilled air whips off the bay and tears through to your intestines. The announcers called in blustery. I know I have reminded my future self before to prepare and thought we did, yet here we are...
Oakland (again, think the name changed recently) is simultaneously the shittiest stadium in all of sports and my favorite place to watch a game. The fans there make up for the awful food, location, poverty stricken ballclub, etc .by their humor and willingness to don themselves in the ugliest green and yellow combo imaginable. Here is a picture of the ground under my seat...it is a metallic surface and the entire section was riddled with rusted out scars. Mix in the DNA of the decidedly blue collar crowd and the Coliseum is an incubator of several diseases like hepatitis, tetanus and E.coli.
Safeco Field, where the Mariners play, is aesthetically pleasing but... Answer me this, what came first, the lame fans or the lame team. Every time I go, the visiting team always has better/louder fans. This years torture was compounded by the fact that the only games I went to were against the Red Sox whose fans are the most odious in professional sports. I liked 'em way better when they were cursed. Went to two games of the 4 game series, which the Sox and Mariners split but the home team lost both times I was there. Figures. One of my favorite nights of the year is the annual game sitting in the LF bleachers with the fellas...there are usually 6 of us and all were in attendance this year. The game was not only against the Sox but was also Irish Heratige Night. Ugh. Our game that night was that you get 5 points for every green Sox capsspotted and could win instantly if you knocked one off the jamokes head. I did my part to antagonize the visitors sitting in front of us by pointing out that the color barrier in baseball was broken in 1947 and asked if anyone knew what team was the last to have a black player. The answer is of course, the Red Sox. In 1959 and doing so only after a discrimination lawsuit was filed. Their first black player was someone named Pumpsie. The Sox fan in front of me said that "we're not all racists in Boston". I think I laid on just the right amount of sarcasm in my "of course they're not" in my reply. Another activity that night was trying to come up with the top 3 things the Irish have contributed to world culture. Potatoes were mentioned but it got pointed out that they came from the Incas. What we ended up with were:
3 - Whiskey as sport
2 - Famine
1 - Lucky Charms
Dodger Staduim. I don't have to remember the corporate name du jour as they don't have one. Never have. Walking into the place feels exactly the same as I did in the early 70's when Garvey, Lopes, Russel and Cey held court. They have made small improvements everywhere but the overall vibe is just the same. Food is decent and you can still get a crappy old Dodger dog (easternmost in quality, westernmost in flavor). Even the fans, who have had the late arriving/early departing reputation forever are getting more serious. If you've followed along for a while, I've been comparing a lot of the new stadiums and that while their rating comes down to things like location, food, etc., they all have a similar feel with the brick facades and exposed green steel beams and quirky field dimensions. Throwbacks that Baltimore started and which look fantastic, but all feel the same in their uniqueness if that makes any sense. This thought hit me as I sat there and looked and the uniform dimensions of Dodger Stadium. What was once considered bland and sterile is now peculiar and nostalgic. Had been a while since I've been there and had been attracted to this new stuff, but Dodger Stadium is still my favorite place to be to watch a game.
There are even local watering holes where the Dodger faithful can congregate pre/post game. My buddy Norm and I met at the Short Stop and as I'm sitting there remember reading an article about how Gerg Dulli from the fantastic band Afghan Whigs bought a dive bar near the Ravine and made it a baseball bar and sure enough, it was the Short Stop. That probably means nothing to anyone but me, but there you go.
California for us is now always based in Palo Alto where my mom and sister both live. I left Babydoll with G-ma and drove down to LA for 48 hours to see the old High School J-O's and go to the game. The drive to and fro on the 5 is a monotonous affair with the only break coming 1/2 way down at Harris Ranch. Anyone that has made that drive knows that there is a massive cattle ranch that skirts the freeway and if the wind is blowing away from the road, you get a whiff and ask your co-pilot if that smell is coming from them. If the wind is blowing towards the freeway, then it become Cowmageddon. On my way home, it was just that and the air was thick with bovine. I could see the cloud ahead for miles and tried to button up the Chevy Cruze, but it got in and the car smelled like cow shit for the rest of our time with it.
My mom turned 90 the other day and spending time with her is so important. For (then) 89, she looked great, but as with kids you don't see for a year and they look all big and stuff, not seeing an older person an have the same affect. A little more bent over, a tad more forgetful and just a feeling that everything frustrates. The computer, too much noise at restaurants, loss of smell. Tough.
But it isn't all bad. With her loss of smell, it is liberating in that she is free to fart whenever she wants. As with my Grandma, don't think she can control them with any consistency anyway. Had dinner at my sister's one night and in addition to us, she had some friends and neighbors over. between dinner and dessert, one of the neighbors lights up a doob and mom has no clue as she can't smell it. I wasn't about to partake with my mom in attendance and commented on how weed is becoming more acceptable in society. My sister said the guy who sparked it has some kind of pain and that it is medicinal for him. Yeah right.
The other thing that is liberating for an older person in my observation is that the brain becomes more fluid. She has a hard time remembering what we are doing tomorrow, but is laser sharp on stuff that happened decades ago. Case in point, every family has their stories that are retold at family functions and one of ours has always been the time when I was two years old and fell into the pool, My sister, who was 8 at the time, and Grandma were there and "Ma" had to jump in to save me. Ma was all dressed up as they were going to some show and she was all pissed off about it and must have let my 8 year old sister have it for not going into save me. Have always felt that this caused a schism between them as they were never tight in my memory.
We're sitting at this dinner and my sister brings up this incident. We run through the story as above and my mom, who has been sitting there listening quietly says to my sister, "you pushed him in." Spit take. Like a friendly reporter rephrasing something Trump said that was awful in a way to make it not sound quite so callous and him just doubling down on his original screed, we tried to give her a chance to recant and she stood by it and said again that I was pushed in. A 48 year old story of family valor was flipped on its head to attempted murder in an instant.
Babydoll and I took my mom to Vegas for a couple nights as we have last couple of years. She loves it and we had a decent time but would have been better had we had even a moment of luck, but it was a 48 hour run of total shit luck with nary a single decent run by either of us. I couldn't find a non-Chinese Asian lady blackjack dealer in the morning, which is always a pot of gold, but did have two sessions with first a dealer from Ethiopia and then one from Eritrea. America is great like that. We had some nice food and caught the Cirque du Soleil show "O" at the Bellagio. Everyone says that this was 'the best' and you gotta go, so we did. Fine I suppose...the performers are amazing and it is a constant spectacle, but if you've seen one of the CdS shows, you've seen 'em all in my opinion. Towards the end of the show, these 5 Asian ladies are doing this contorting gymnastic lava lamp-like routine and I'm thinking, I flew from the other side of the planet, paid $140 bucks and maneuvered my frail 90 year old mom into this theatre just to watch Chinese acrobats? Dumb shit. Next year we're getting Brittney Spears tickets. There were clowns in the show and got to break out one of my favorite old gags...how do you stop a clown from smiling? Shoot him in the face.
A plus in traveling with an 89 year old is that you are welcome to cut to the front of every line everywhere. Have to make a huge call out to Southwest Airlines for how nice they are to the elderly and handicapped. At every curb, there are people with wheelchairs waiting, they put her in one, all the way through Customs to the gate and then from the plane to the curb. They hire a company called Gateway Frontline Services to perform the service free of charge and all of the handlers are nice and chit chat in such a gentle way. Of course you tip them, but they were all just so great.
Betty arrived late into our time in SF and we decided to leave the kiddies w/G-ma and drive up to Napa for a couple nights. Had only been to Napa once before, 25 or so years ago for an afternoon (with friends including Betty at the time). Neither of us could remember when we went away sans children so was looking forward to going. A memorable time was had. We got some recommendations on wineries and did a tasting or two, but you can get loaded fast and since neither of us are hard core boozers, we turned our attention to the gardens we encountered. They ranged from ones designed on Italian vineyards to bio-diverse organic ones. Anyone can garden, but combine people that not only love to, but are well trained, with soil that is as fertile as anywhere on the planet, and it is truly the Garden of Eden.
Just the right mix
A by-product of this is that the food is exquisite. The most delicious of ingredients mixed with rich folk with the highest of standards that are willing to pay for the best, and the food options are off the hizzie. Everything we ate was excellent and to cap off our stay, we made reservations for the second night at Meadowood. One of the few 3 Michelin star restaurants in the US, we knew we were in for a treat. Of course, the place is perfect in every way, from greeting to departure the servers are knowledegaeable and attentive. new utensils with every serving and tuxedoed staff scooping up any crumbs as each plate was taken away. Set menu of 8 or 9 courses that rotate with the season with each being a bite or three but we were full by the end. I jotted down the offerings as they came.
- an amuse bouche of fried squash flower
- day lily stuffed with prawn
- freshwater eel wrapped in beef tongue (cooked on a cabernet plank)
- cucumber seed risotto w/caviar
- bean flower over avocado and squid (in squid butter)
- line caught halibut w/un-ripened apple juice
- cabbage and cod liver in oyster and nettle sauce
things get a little fuzzy here and my notes aren't clear. I think...
- lamb broth steeped in artichoke
- truffle something
- some part of the duck with duck fudge
- "chase fm Mendoza sheets goat w/grape marmite"
- dessert of Bananas Foster with rye instead of rum, and eggplant instead of bananas.
- 2nd dessert of chocolate bobka
With desert, I ordered an Ethiopian coffee brewed over 500 degree sand while Betty had foraged tea (which we think was tea made from the weeds in the garden).
We knew it was gonna be expensive going in, but dinner with not a ton of drinks cost $800, Re-gaw-damn-diculous, and was hard for a simple guy like me not to think that each bite was about $20 each as it was going down, but a once in a generation experience and all.
We stayed at the home of a couple that my sister knows...a couple of Silicon Valley types that bought some acreage years ago and have now retired there. They have several exquisite gardens (food, cactus, Chinese), chickens, a lovely pool and we stayed in their guest cottage. Their buildings were made of rammed earth construction, which is has been used by early civilizations and is coming into vogue as the materials are natural and reusable. Sleeping with the windows open in the cool summer night air under a down blanket was close to perfect. Since we've returned to TW, have slept in a closed up room with a forced air conditioner unit under at most a sheet and still come back to a puddle of sweat after taking a pee in the middle of the night.
You may have noticed a couple of words in there that are not new, but whose epicenter of use is Napa and radiates from there. Other than acerage and rammed earth, we heard...
biodynamic
terroir
high bench
flight (wine tasting menu)
mesoclimate
unpack
primal (as opposed to paleo diet)
proteins and enzymes
Those last two bug me. We've all heard the word protein used to replace meat but if not, an example is when making your own burrito, there is a line to pick your "protein" Way to take a meal I was prepared to enjoy and turn it into a chemistry project. Was gonna let it slide, but then some a-hole used the word enzyme in a way that took the air out of a good time. Was ordering a cocktail and asked for a vodka on the rocks with a piece of lemon. Dude says, "you want a slice or a twist?" and I say something about just some lemon please. He looks at me and says, "Oh, you just want the enzymes..." Really? You're a waiter, just say yessir and fetch me my damn vodka and perhaps I'll tip you fairly. That was in Seattle though and they are now adding gratuity to the bill automatically. We were in one place and the menu says that an 18.89% gratuity is added to all bills. .89? I understand that it has something to do with the raise of the minimum wage in Seattle but can we all agree that if you are calling it gratuity and it is over 15%, then let's give some decent service or just add it to the cost and say No Tipping. At this 18.89% place, the service was atrocious and then they overcharged us on our bill THREE times. Taylor Shellfish was the place and do not suggest you go. Good call on that place Big Sprang,,,am sure the ladies at Shanghai Garden wouldn't have screwed us over.
The morning we left Napa we had booked a sunrise balloon ride down the valley. Luckily, this was a couple weeks before the one burned up in Texas, but I was still apprehensive about it for months in advance. They had to move us from Napa Valley as the fog was too thick about 20 miles east into Yolo Valley. I am sure it was prettier over Napa, but still an experience. Our balloon's basket could hold 17 people, 4 each in one of 4 dividers and the pilot in the middle. Our basket was full of couples celebrating their marriages or anniversaries, and us, who were just happy to have ditched the kiddies. We went around the basket and said where we were from and there was a couple in one section from Spain and another in a different section from Puerto Rico. I wanted to say that 'I am a Trump supporter and can we put these Mexicans in their own section?', but edited myself and mumbled it under my breath to Betty only. Something everyone should try once in their lives.
The Bay Area is so gorgeous, but traffic and property values are so messed up that it would be impossible to live there. San Francisco has its charms but is a city you visit to walk a mile uphill to watch a homeless guy take a shit in the bushes.
When you only get to town once a year, the best way to see old friends is by sharing a meal with them and they always want to take you to the place that serves rich food as we become their excuse to put the feed bag on. Good in that we eat well but by the time we hit Seattle, was feeling a bit polluted. The fun didn't stop and a total highlight for us was being introduced to Totchos. Simply, they are nachos with tater tots replacing tortilla chips. The most genius of inventions are always the simplest.
One day while in Seattle, took the Boy and a couple of his buddies down to Portland to visit Reed College. A fun day hanging with those boys for sure. Reed has a really nice campus and all of us were impressed by it but as it is in hippie central, they are bohemian. Their unofficial motto, which was given them in the 1920's but they still proudly tout it is "Communism, Atheism, Free Love" Gotta say that is appealing and the boys thought so too.
The last three days in the States were amazing for yours truly. Had seen a few months previously that my beloved Yo La Tengo were playing two nights at a festival in Portland called Pickathon. Rallied a couple of my Portland friends to come out and had a fantastic time. Pickathon is held on a farm about 30 minutes outside of Portland and is completely green. Bring your own cup and plate so there is no trash, all the stands and stages are solar powered and whoever curated it was in lock step with my taste. Not only was Yo La Tengo on the bill, but other favorites of mine like the Thee Oh Sees, La Luz and Moon Duo were there too. At these things, it is the new discoveries that can elevate the festival into greatness and we stumbled on some things that have already become new favorites with the biggest highlight being Adia Victoria. At Pickathon, one of the neat things is that all bands play two sets and different times or days, so if you miss one, you can see them another time. Had a hole in my schedule so walked into Adia Victoria with no prior knowledge and (as with almost every show that weekend) walked right up to the front. She is this young black woman that is heavily influenced by the blues from her S. Carolina roots, but the backing band plays the skronky indie sound that I love. She was sooooo sex, dressed in a white nightgown and at one point is really belting out this song three feet in front of me, looking right into my eyes and to quote George Costanza, "It moved".
Sir Richard Bishop
Blossom
King Sunny Ade
Moon Duo. So loud and groovy
Alvvays
La Luz
The Deslondes. My friend Malibu had a similar reaction to the slide guitar player as I did with Adia Victoria.
Ultimate Painting. Poseur British crap...only bad show I saw all weekend
Jeff Tweedy. Not sure I am grooving on his troubadour jag but refrained from yelling out "Where's Nels?"
and of course...Yo La Tengo. This was from the first night during their quiet set. At the Woods Stage which was in the woods (natch). Great work by the organizers in lighting up the trees in colors during all the night sets there.
And the loud set the next day. Ira handed his guitar to the crowd at the end of Ohm for the crowd to bang on. I did and can now officially say I have played live with Yo La Tengo. Scorching set.
Fairs allow people to wear their worst. A new "thing" is for young girls to bring hula hoops and do their Jerry Dance with them. Was banged and attacked by them for two days. Then there are the utilikilt guys...have to retreat to Asia to get away from these numbskulls.
Pickathon is all ages and there were a lot of families out there. I always refrained from taking my kids to these kinda things cause they just aren't interested and they are my thing and don't want to feel that I have to entertain anyone but me. Saw this kid and thought that to combat boredom, his parents gave him a Swiss Army knife. An inspired move by thembut still found the kid menacing.
Here's my buddy Kathy on day two. Think I have told this one before, but she and our mutual friend Howie would come up to Seattle for years and we'd do Bumbershoot together. Bumbershoot 1998 was two weeks after Betty was implanted with the Boy via IVF, and the day we were supposed to find out if it took was day two of Bumber and Yo La Tengo were scheduled to play that night. We were all worried...what if it was bad news? Would we still go to the show? Pins and needles all morning, but then we got the call telling us that we were gonna be parents so Betty was happy and couldn't have cared less if we took off for the concerts as she had her family to call. Have shared many a big rock and roll moment with Kathy (aka Malibu Kathy as she owned a Chevy Malibu)
As a local, she has friends in town and one of them was running a secret stage in the woods where they would get bands to come and film a couple songs in HD for the festival website. She got us directions and it was an oasis of sofas and free booze. Nice to have friends in high places.
Being a working farm, horses were there too.
Great little things like these lights in the woods made Pickathon a great experience and one I hope to repeat in years to come.
I mentioned at the top of this that it was three days, but Pickathon was only two. During the summer, learned that Yo La Tengo booked a show in Seattle the next night to maximize their trip from NJ to the west coast. Was floating on air as they were playing in a tiny club and were to play two sets...quiet and loud.
I've been seeing them since the early 90's, so 25 years or so , and they always amaze. This night, the second set started loud and they kept it pushed to the floor all night. I saw them do things that I'd never seen before and it was just the perfect way for me to end a fantastic couple of months.
I love them so much. Was chatting with the road manager and mentioned Taiwan and he said they were coming here. Whah? Giddy. I just checked out their website and they finally officially said they are coming and full Asia schedule is out soon, but teased it with dates in Seoul November 30 and Bangkok December 4th. Woo to the Hoo.
With the NFL fully kicking off tomorrow (1AM Monday my time, will be up and in the RedZone), everything is coming up Gomez.
