Week of May 31st, 2014

Last night was 5th grade recognition night for Carolyn, while not billed as a graduation, it signified the end of her elementary school years as they move into middle school next year.  As with everything that place does, was a phenominal evening.  Every kid is in either strings, band or choir, so they all performed in one way or another and were all entertaining.  They had kids introduce the acts and whoever helped them write their scripts did a great job as there were several laugh out loud one liners.  For example, when acknowledging Mr. Whalen, the lower school counselor and all-around great guy, the boy giving the testimonial related their appreciation on how he taught the classes on puberty, explaining the changes that "will be taking place with our bodies and why we smell so bad."  Good stuff from an 11 year-old.  Touching slide show and a finale when all the kids got on stage for a final song together.  They then all marched together through the aisles and out the door.  Kind of a bittersweet night for me.  Gonna miss the TAS lower school as I've made some great friendships there and it is such a warm environment.  And when I think about my little babydoll becoming a young woman, I get a lump in my throat that hurts.  Not looking forward to some of the girl things on the horizon.  While I know that boobs, boys and menstruation are but three that will be awkward for both of us, it's the ones I don't know about that really scare me. 

Here we are on her way out the door.  She is getting taller, but she is wearing heels while I am getting shorter and am in bare feet.

As we do most mornings, we were watching the 15 minutes of headlines on CNN International over breakfast today and we were all appalled by what we saw.  The lead story was about the Pakistani woman that was stoned by her family in front of police at a courthouse for wanting to marry a man that wasn't the one her father had "given" her to.  They call it an "honor" killing, and included in the group of 20 odd people that bashed her head in with bricks were her father and the guy that was jilted.  They then go onto say that the guy that she wanted to marry had killed his first wife.  He acknowledged this allegation saying that killing her was justified because he loved this new woman so much.  Holy shit.  CNN then segued into the next story from India where two early teen girls were gang raped and hung on trees while the police allegedly did nothing. 

I could be criticized (possibly rightly so) for letting my kids watch this, and have to say that this was far more graphic than the usual morning CNN news fare of the Ukraine, Thailand and flight MH370, but tried to make it a learning opportunity.  For Carolyn, told her to always make sure she goes places with friends and to always make friends with people that look after each other.  Never leave them alone...ever.  For Paul, to always stand up for women in distress even if it might put himself in harms way.  There will be times in life where he will see a women that is out of her senses from being over served, but that it is his responsibility to make sure she gets home safely.

I looked up the definition of honor and while it all sounds good, the perversion of its meaning in the name of whatever these people believe in that justifies killing their wives and daughters.  It ties my brain into the ugly concept of saving face to protect ones honor and have come to the conclusion that I will never use that word again.

The big news in Taiwan this week was the mass killings on the Taipei subway.  Some loser of college age (sound familiar) went on a stabbing spree and killed 4 people.  It was this article that caught my attention...during the melee, after he got his first four victims, he went after a woman who fended him off with her bag of library books.  Another 52 year old guy steps in to keep him at bay, using his umbrella to do so, then a 62 year old fella with martial arts training subdues the guy until they hit the next station.  Two things in this amazing story would never happen in America.  First, there is a person walking the streets with a bag of library books.  Second, the dude has a gun and blows away the woman and the two dudes, and probably more.  How are we (Americans) not freaking out about gun violence and forcing our government to do something?  My mind nearly explodes when I think about it.  A horrible thought I have is that I wish someone would shoot Joe the "your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional rights" Plumber's kid and see what happens. 

I think the heat is messing with my brain, so am consciously looking for things to ease the pain.  A friend on Facebook shared a link of 20 things to start doing in a relationship.  It is from a blog titled Buddhist Things.  Whatever your religious predilection, these are such great messages and hope you take a minute to look at them.  This is my favorite...

10. PAY ATTENTION TO WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE.

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.  Remember, life is kind of like a party.  You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are the ones who matter most.

Most people I know, which is likely you, embrace these simple concepts and I like to think that I do too.  I am good at a lot of them and know that I can do better and need to work on others.