February 16, 2013

Woke up early this fine Saturday to a quiet apartment to load another diary entry, and as I was scanning the headlines waiting for the coffee to brew, this piece of brilliant investigative journalism jumped out at me from the front page of the Taipei Times.  This article finally settles the debate on whether it is medically sound to fart on an airplane.  Thankfully, I have been excercising good judgement in this respect for years.  The leader of the study "enlisted some of the finest minds in his field" to arrive at the conclusions.  Immediately realized that I should have devoted my life's work to becoming an expert in this area as I have always had a fascination with the topic and am inherently gifted in the act.  The article is worth a complete read, but a couple of my favorite "facts" are that "women's farts smell worse than men's", and while it is fine for passengers to let 'em rip, the crew on the flight deck faces a lose-lose situation.  Even though there are the health benefits to the pilots to pass gas, the odor might affect the rest of the crew resulting in reduced on board safety.  Genius.  I wonder how tall a building has to be for it to be medically acceptable to fart on an elevator?  If you are in our family, the answer to that question seems to be as soon as the door closes.

A nice thing about having had Betty's family in town the last couple weeks is that we did sightseeing that we might not normally do.  Of course, we made the obligatory stops, like eating at legendary dumpling house Din Tai Fung

 

We popped over to the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial for a few minutes after dim sum one morning.  A nice open space, but they were not amused by us tossing the football around.  Betty and Cousin Sharon wanted to get a jumping picture, but their prime leaping days are in the past and it took them quite a while to get it together.  But the knee pain was well worth it when you get a shot like this.

We also spent an evening shrimping.  I've written a few times about it before, but here is a brief article if you aren't a frequent reader.  We are getting better at it, but are not nearly as proficient as some of the locals.  There was this one guy there this time that would drop his pole in the water and sort of lean over the pond as if he were communicating with the shrimps, and then just yank on his pole and more often than not, bring a meaty creature out of the water.  Sort of like a Shrimp Whisperer.   I also think there is a benefit in bringing your own bait as the people that do seem to catch more, although if you go enough times where you have your own custom pole and bring special bait, your experience level (and geek quotiant) is obviously much higher. 

Shrimping also offers an opportunity for some good natured ribbing as there always seems to be one person that just can't seem to manage to reel them in.  Paul is usually that person, always claiming that he hooks more than anyone else but they manage to eat his bait and get away.  Fortunately, he finally caught a couple late in the game this time, but look at this long face taken about an hour into the session.

We tried the Maokong Gondola for the first time...it goes up a decent sized mountain at the south end of town and provided some nice views of the city.  Once you get to the top, you can go on some hikes, see a (nother) temple, buy some tea (said to be some of the finest grown only in that area), and have some street food snacks.  You can take a normal cabin without waiting, or reserve a cabin that has a glass bottom...we waited for the glass one and while it was kinda cool, not worth the extra time hanging around to ride it.  Not sure if I'd put the gondola on the "must-do" in Taipei list, but it is a decent way to kill an afternoon. 

 

Another site we went to for the first time was the observation deck at Taipei 101.  This building was the tallest in the world for about 5 years last decade before it was surpassed by one in Dubai, but it is still pretty damn tall.  Right in the heart of downtown, it provides a complete and commanding view of the city that is spectacular.  Cost is $12 to go up with an audio guide included and is a worthwhile destination.  There is a very upscale shopping mall on the first 5 floors, kitchsy shops in the surrounding streets, plus a branch of Din Tai Fung in the basement.  I found the most interesting part of the tour was being able to see and learn about their Baby Damper.  A tuned mass damper is like a pendulum in large buildings that helps keep them stable in high winds, earthquakes and such.  Pretty ingenious engineering and the one in Taipei 101 is one of the few that is open for viewing. 

It was at Taipei 101 that I realized I have a stunt-peeing fetish.  The ladies probably won't understand, but as I was urinating on the 99th floor of the building and mentally calculating the speed it would travel down to the ground floor, my mind started to go back in the catalog of unique places I have tinkled.  The Grand Canyon, Space Needle, and most recently, the Grand Canal in Venice, I started to wonder if I have a problem, or if other fellas have the same hobby.  Like farting on an airplane, I trust that history will be on my side. 

Finally, and since I'm on the topic, we made a family outing to the local branch of the Modern Toilet restaurant chain.  Just what it sounds like...the restaurant is toilet themed, so you sit on toilet seats, get your napkins from a toilet paper roll dispenser, eat out of toilet bowls, desserts in squat pots, and drink from bed pans.  The food was bad to OK, so will not be one of our regular stops, but when in Rome...

In the next installment, I hope to be able to explain how the lunar calendar works...have been trying to study and understand it, but it is not giving up its secrets easily.