December 21, 2012

It's 12/21/12 and like the rest of the planet, just sitting here Waiting For The End Of The World.  I tried to look up a betting line on the doomsday prediction but couldn't find one.  I am such a crappy gambler, but you only have to be right once to make winning a doomsday bet worthwhile, no?  Am always amazed at people having real fear of these things...the cleaning lady came over yesterday and asked me if I knew that the world was going to end tomorrow and then starts balling her eyes out.  She rallied and still did a nice job though.  My feeling is that if it is gonna end, what are you gonna do about it, but it is a good time to take a minute to take stock and ensure that you've done enough to get you into a nice condo in the next life and make sure you tell your loved ones how much you love them. 

Taiwan's religious make-up of Taiwan comes in at 33% Buddhist, 32% Taoist, with only about 5% being Christians, so there is not a lot in the way of decorating and celebrating around town.  About the only places where you see decorations are in the bigger stores and even those are muted.  What you get are a few small plastic Christmas trees (no pine trees in the tropics), and Christmas songs playing at the 7-11 (and not your Eartha Kitt or Burl Ives versions...ever hear Silent Night in Chinese?  Haunting.)  The scariest Christmas "decoration" I saw was from the ad campaign in the Takashimaya store across the street.

Here is a closer look at the guests around the dinner table.

Those are some bizarre characters and you don't even want to know what kind of kinky stuff the woman is into. 

Am not gonna complain about the lack of Christmas spirit though as it is nice not to be inundated with advertising and tortured by a month of the same old Christmas songs, but still get choked up when we come home to see these decorations in the apartment lobby.

We're off to Italy for two weeks tonight so will be taking a break from posting.  Talk to you when we get back and hope you all have a great holiday.

December 18, 2012

Feel pretty proud of myself this morning...had my first outing where I spoke and, more importantly, understood everything in Chinese.  Was your basic conversation with the dry cleaner, but still.  Will recount it here:

Me: Zao.
Dry Cleaner: San jian yifu?
Me: Dui. Li bai ji?
Dry cleaner: (counting on her hands) Li bai wu, yi dian.
Me: Xie xie.

Am not thinking that I'll ever be able to hold a meaningful conversation in Chinese, but not being totally lost felt good.  In class yesterday, we learned that the word for food is fan , which also happens to mean cooked rice.  The word for rice seeds is something else, for rice in the field is another word and so on.  There are 26 different words for rice in its various forms, kind of like how the Eskimos have 32 words for snow.  We also learned that the word for "work" is shi.  That sounded like the same sound as the word for the number 10, and I asked her if that was correct.  The teacher said that not only was it the same, but the sound shi has 70 different characters (and meanings) and  that there is a famous poem where the writer used only that sound  Read aloud, the poem sounds like shi shi shi...but when read it is quite beautiful.  How can a white boy from the valley ever hope to learn a language like that?  They are always so proud with the characters...like when the kids grandfather gave them their Chinese middle names, was told they were very beautiful and poetic.  Am starting to think that this poetry thing is just cultural pride and that they would tell me that saying that "one needs to take a dump" in Chinese would be considered poetry.  Sure, mine are certainly works of art, but is the act itself poetic in Chinese?   Hope to find out next semester.

Another conversation we had in class yesterday was about learning how to read and write the characters.  One of my classmates was telling us that she looked in on a class that taught people how to read/write, and that it was full of elderly Chinese people.  The teacher got a puzzled look on her face and thought that was odd, and I offered a guess that maybe that they didn't take the schooling as seriously as they do now when these old people were school age?  She said no way...as far back as she knew, if a kid missed school for more than a day, the teacher would call on the family to see why not.  If the child's absence stretched for three days, they would send the police around to make sure that the kid had a good reason, or to get him back in school if not.  As with anything I hear about the Chinese culture, I take it with a grain of salt and try to independently verify, but even if this is remotely true...damn.  I know that wouldn't fly in the States with people's individual liberties and the fear of big government involvement, but can't help thinking where the US would be if it had a semblance of that kind of devotion to learning.  On that note...Paul related a conversation he had with one of his baseball team mates who told him that "the Chinese superiority in school peeks in the 8th grade" and that it all goes downhill from there.  We'll see if that's true, but maybe the reason that this kid thought so was due to the fact that he happened to be in the 9th grade. 

We're heading off to Italy for vacation on Friday, but have been taking some photos and hope to post one more time this week with some images and impressions of Christmas in Asia.  If I don't get to it...Zhu ni sheng dan kuai le.

December 15, 2012

I have complained about the weather in Taipei a lot in this space, so it is fair that I give equal time to how awesome it is to have a 79 degree day on December 15th.  October and November were both really nice, and while December has seen its share of rainy (high 50's at night/low 60's during day), we are currently on a stretch of 4 days with 75 to 79 degree highs.  Good times.  I broke down and wore jeans a couple of days last week, but Paul is still on his run of wearing shorts to school every day.  I asked him if he is going to try to go all year long without long pants and he said that is the plan...Mom is probably not happy hearing that, but I totally respect the kid for it. 

Living in a dense city means that land is at a premium, so the parking is mostly underground.  Am typically at the Costco a couple of times a week and park in their underground lot, which was originally built as a bunker to protect the citizens from mainland Chinese bombs during the cold war.  In an area of high geological activity, being in such structurally sound enclosures is a bit comforting to one with a mild case of claustrophobia.  These heavily fortified cement structures are everywhere, the most rumored about being the one underneath the National Museum.  That museum houses the largest collection of Chinese artifacts in the world, with these being either "rescued" or "stolen" from the mainland in 1949.

Back to parking at the Costco...every time I go I notice that at least half the cars back into the spots, so their trunks are backed up against the cars in the adjacent rows, or against walls of the thickest concrete imaginable...I'm thinking similar in thickness to the bunkers the Iranians are storing their centrifuges in.  And every time, you see people struggling to open their SUV hatchbacks against the obstacles and/or doing the Taiwanese version of the chicken dance carrying their Costco sized diapers between their car and the one parked (closely) next to them to get them to the back of the vehicle.  And every time I wonder why don't they just pull in head first so they can access the trunk directly from their cart.  I am looking for some kind of outlet for me to get in front of the "people" to ask them why they do some of these things...I know there has to be a reason, and there is always a reason, but change takes time and maybe we can find a better way if we all work together.

Finally for today, am sitting here on a bright Saturday morning in our office where a window in front of the computer faces out, and Betty wakes up, comes in to open the shades and am immediately blinded and a headache is coming on.  We've had this 18 year (with the wind chill factor, it feels like 30) battle between her bright/quiet preferences, and my need for dark/loud things.  I appreciate her aversion to loud things and try to tune them down when she's around, but even the lowest of my "jungle music" can make her face scruntch. 

Quick side note: one of the few times I get to unleash the volume to 11 is when I am in the car alone, which is obviously a main reason why I like to drive so much.  You can't really blast it in an apartment complex and have never been a lover of headphones.  Growing up in LA, rolling the windows down and cranking it all the way up is an inalienable right.  But it is not de rigueur here...I have yet to hear music coming from another car.  And it isn't that the only music they have is the Erhu (sad Chinese two string violin) or Hello Kitty K-Pop, neither of which sound great amplified.  I know there are some loud rock music lovers around...have seen them in action...and there are loud shows all the time (check out some of those awesome band names), so you'd think that we'd run into them somewhere. Sometimes I'll look around at people on the street or in other cars when the tunes are blasting from mine and will they will give the power rock salute.   Additionally, they do not roll their car windows down.  The only ones I ever see down are on the most beat up of the Taiwanese blue work trucks where the dudes are chain smoking and probably have no AC.  I'm tooling downtown yesterday in idyllic 78 degree weather with the windows down and every other car has theirs up.  Adding to my list of "Why" questions as there has to be some reason...I fear it might be something similar to the use of umbrellas year round to protect from the harsh UV or acid rain, but suspect the real reason is to protect their anonymity for all the dickish driving maneuvers that they regularly pull.

But as for the light thing...I have green eyes.  I was in a lighting store a couple of years ago and was describing the differences to light that I have with Betty to the (rather attractive) lighting expert, and she sits me down, looks deep into my eyes and told me that she understood..  People with blue and (especially) green eyes are far more sensitive to light than those with brown eyes...it is a scientific fact.  I know the more prejudiced minded of you will think that the brown eyed people are just superior, but remember that if the color green were not so light absorbent, that photosynthesis would not possible and humans may not have evolved at all without it.   So this is my open letter to all of you brown eyed people out there to be sensitive to the sensitivities your genetically different brothers and sisters.

December 13, 2013

I saw my first ass crack in Taiwan last night.  It was at the local coffee joint where an employee was bending way over the pastry display counter drawing little X-mas symbols onto the glass case.  Seeing an ass crack was not something on my "things to do" radar and I only realized that I hadn't seen one to date as this one was staring me in the face.  Seeing them in the States is arguably a daily occurrence...whether they be unintentional or not.  Working downtown in Seattle provided lots of opportunities to run into them, from the homeless guys at the bus stop on 3rd Ave or the dumb ass kids wearing their pants down to their thighs (are they still doing that?), to any floor at Nordstrom with the low cut pant wearing hotties and their desire to show off their expensive thong underpants.  So seeing this ass crack made me wonder why I hadn't seen one here.  After many hours in deep thought, I am attributing it to a combination that the ladies here dress more modestly, and the fact that they just don't have protruding asses that cause the cracks to surface.  This is simply a theory at this point, but will be making an empirical study about the phenomenon going forward.

Another cultural trait that I've noticed recently is the ability for the Chinese to nap anywhere.  I have long marveled at Betty's ability to doze off almost instantly and anywhere, but always thought that she had a mild case of narcolepsy.  In the car ride home, she was telling me how at work, a lot of the employees will simply put their heads on their desks and nap their lunch hours away.  I see people sleeping while sitting in benches in the park all the time.  And yesterday, my Chinese teacher independently volunteered the information about how it is very common for all Chinese to take any opportunity to nap, and that most of them can do it anywhere.  She told us to take a pass through the Ikea some day and look at how many people are in their snoozing away.  I like a good nap as much as the next guy, and have trained my internal clock to be in and out of one in an hour flat, but my body still needs to be horizontal or at least in a heavily reclined posture, and there needs to be some bit of privacy and quiet to get it done, so I am very envious of this ability.  As part of my cultural studies, will have to see if this is a trait that is inherent or can be learned.

We are going to the local branch of Hooters this weekend to celebrate a friend of ours birthday.  He's a Seattle guy that's been here a few years and that's where he likes to go to celebrate.  He calls it Mosquito Bites.  As he invited us to join them, I couldn't help but to paraphrase Matthew McConahey , from his finest role ever in Dazed and Confused.  "I keep getting older, but the Hooters stay the same".   Will bring my camera and share next week.

December 11, 2012

Do you know your blood type?  I had no idea how important knowing them is to your personality.  I so love my Chinese class as the teacher is such a deep well of all things Chinese culture.  We were learning how to say the date today and we had to say our birthdays.    Turns out that Wales and I are both Virgo's, but then the teacher said to me that my blood type must be O and that Wales was an A.  In Asian "astrology", your blood type is as important in determining your personality as is your astrology sign.  I immediately came home and did a quick on-line search...here is a link  to a site that talks about the different blood type characteristics even details the food you should eat.  Wikipedia has this to say about it.   And here is one more article about it that is a bit more flattering to my blood type.  Wales didn't know hers, but I am (totally) type O.  I've always been a fan of the horoscopes...not necessarily one to change my plans because of them, but more to help in understanding why I act certain ways and why others have certain characteristics  Since marrying an Asian, have become familiar and incorporated some of their year based signs (I'm a snake) into the above equations.  But learning about this blood type thing today was like someone finally turning over all the letters or getting my first pair of glasses.  Kinda felt like Navin Johnson in The Jerk learning about his "special purpose".   Needless to say...I plan on learning a lot more about blood types.

I mentioned we had a friend in town this week and I asked him what he wanted to do on his free evening before heading back to Seattle.  Apparently, the word has spread around the world about Taipei's Shrimping District and that is what he wanted to do.  I've detailed the wondrous experience in a previous posting, but this article details it nicely, and here is one of many YouTube clips on what it looks like.  So far, this is probably the most fun thing to do that we've found here.  Take a peek at our friend Kevin...

Boozin', smokin' and a shrimpin'.  Those two fellas in the background were so nice to us...they saw we were struggling with some of the nuances of the sport, so they gave us some of their special bait, showed us the proper way to skewer and salt the shrimps, and later, came by to slam some beer shots in celebration of our conquests.  Their Taiwanese hospitality made me forget for a few glorious moments how pissed off I get with them out on the roads. 

And here is you know who working the grill.

Good times...this should be the cover photo of the Taipei Tour Guide.

December 10, 2012

Sitting here this morning listening to the Seahawks iniolate the Cardinals (51-0 in the 3rd quarter), and got me thinking about the softball tournament that we went to on Saturday.  All of the English speaking middle schools came together in Taichung (2.5 hrs south of Taipei) for an 8th grade softball tournament.  Paul's school is the biggest of these and they sent three teams while the rest of the schools "fielded" just one each.  They were obviously digging deep for players as there weren't many that looked like they had played much ball ever.  I'm not bragging on Paul being great, but he is a solid and knowledgeable player and many of the other boys on his team had similar skills.  They won the tournament with a total score in their 4 games of 106 - 7, and this was after all of the boys went to their "formal dance the night before and know that none of them went to bed before 1AM (with a 6AM departure time for the field).  It was quite ugly and we were rooting for the opposing teams for most of the day.  I can hear the Seahawk fans now cheering (and not sarcastically) a 1st down by the Cardinals.  Couple of snaps...

Carolyn was with us for the long (and rainy) day and kept a smile on her face the whole time (with a little help from the shaved ice stand).

December 5, 2012

It has been a while since I've posted...that's due to a combination of being busier these days, not carrying around my notebook as often and then forgetting gags that I would normally share, and mainly just settling into a daily routine where not much "new" happens.  I could write a daily breakdown of the driving challenges that happened that day, but know that would get boring to most. 

Speaking of challenges, I heard this thing about the word in Chinese for both challenge and opportunity is the same.  Meant to ask my teacher about that one today and forgot, but I am doubting that is true as it sounds like motivational speak to me.  Chinese class is getting harder for sure.  If it was just vocabulary memorization, it wouldn't be so bad, but the sentence structure is just so different that the combination of the two is intimidating and is making the need to study more (and post entries less).  We lost the Grandma for good and Wales has put up the white flag.  She said today that she is just going to keep coming in hopes of picking up a word or two.  We added two new students that came back from the level two class as they were struggling and wanted to re-learn the level one stuff.  One of them is from Russia and is the sister-in-law of one of our closer friends here...met her when we were both drunk at Octoberfest.  She seems nice and well prepared, and she was funny the night we got loaded, but she doesn't like Maya Pizza preferring the thicker crust at the Pizza Hut.  No one is perfect I guess.  The other lady is an American and haven't decided if I like her or not yet.  We were learning about the days off the week today and the teacher asked what day is the start of the week for the Chinese and gave us the hint that it is based on the Bible.  American lady said Sunday, but the teacher said that it is Monday (and on the 7th day he rested and all).  America said that she was wrong as she is Jewish and I volunteered that God was a Jew 

Have been trying to work on my Chinese with the doormen and so I was asking one of the guys his name.  Mr Chang was his name and I told him mine was John.  John is pretty common and he had no problem with that, but then he asked my daughter Carolyn what her name was.  When we named her, we did not give much thought to how the name would sound to the Chinese...the letter "L" is not an easy one for them to say and comes out more like an "R".  Always smile when my mother-in-law tries to say it, but when the doorman tried to say Carolyn in his deep voice, it sounded like Frankenstein as he was just getting off the table.  I am sensitive to others hacking up English as I know I am pulverizing Mandarin, so try not to laugh, but the way he said her name was damn hilarious.

We have a friend in town this week...Carolyn's best friend since forever's dad (Kevin) works for HTC, which is a Taiwanese company, and he is here this week on business.  We got to hang out with him last Sunday and was nice to share some of our experiences first hand with one of our Homies.  He was interested in seeing bike shops as he is an avid cyclist and Taiwan manufactures a lot of top end brands.  Before moving here, my mentality had always associated Made in Taiwan with cheap crap.  This sentiment comes from my youth when Taiwan was in their manufacturing infancy and you would only see that label on cheap t-shirts or other crappy merchandise.  But they have come a long way and now manufacture 1/3 of the worlds laptops and other high tech gear, and high performance clothing and bicycles.  A local friend of ours swears by the audio equipment made by this company called Usher.  Kevin has traveled a lot in his life and we were sharing some of our cultural observations.  One of mine has to do about how diet affects body oder and how I noticed that mine has changed since arrival...much more garlic-y.  We both agreed that people from India smell of curry and he was telling me of a trip he made there and asked an Indian fella what Westerners smell like.  The guy was so happy because no one had ever asked him before and he told Kevin that we smell of dairy.  Totally makes sense.

Another reason for my diary posting absence has been that I have been studying up for our trip to Italy...reading some history books and planning our daily schedule.  Today, just purchased tickets for the whole family to see Roma AS play InterMilan at Olympic Stadium the night we get in.  Totally pumped up for that.  Other exciting tours booked are of the Coliseum and Forum area and a X-mas Eve tour of the Vatican.  Can hardly wait to see the Sistine Chapel.  Only a couple weeks away!  Going to have to work on some new Italian jokes...did I tell this one already?  Why do Italian men wear gold chains?  So they know where to stop shaving.

November 22, 2012

Was reading this article on the 20 most dangerous vacation destinations, and Taiwan came in at #19 (just in front of New Zealand).  Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan were 1-3.  About Taiwan, they write that:

Taiwan offers the beautiful city of Taipei as well as access to the largest collection of Chinese artifacts in the world. Despite its cultural sites, the country is plagued with natural disasters. In fact, more than 70% of the island is prone to experiencing at least three different types of natural disasters, including: floods, earthquakes, typhoons, windstorms, and landslides.

We've experienced landslides and typhoons first hand. 

They left out the part about the balding properties of the acid rain...I never saw that mentioned in any of the tour guides.  Needless to say, since the acid rain discovery the other day, we are all carrying umbrellas now.  I have also thought it strange that all the cars here are newish when I was expecting them to be refurbished relics from the Vietnam era US Army "occupation", much like the frozen in time 50's vintage cars in Cuba.  But with acid rain, they all must have a short shelf life and disintegrate at a younger age. 

Another thing they left out of the article are the dangers to your health posed by the local driving techniques.  A tourist probably isn't driving much on their own, but they have to get in cabs at the least, or will walk on the streets somewhat, and with everyone driving like they are particles in the Large Hadron Collider, the risk of getting blasted into a Higgs boson is a clear and present danger.  

Regarding driving...received my fifth speeding ticket this week.  Another speed cam job...Betty is convinced we are subsidizing a good portion of the cities budget at this point.  Quite an efficient system and they must rake it the bucks from it as little to no actual police are involved in the process.  We are now aware (since I've been popped by everyone of them) of all the traffic cams on our daily commute and it is obvious that everyone else is too.  They all drive like bats outta hell, but as they approach a camera, they all slam on their brakes to a turtles pace as they go through the radar range, then gas it onto the next red light, at which they will run on many occasions. 

I could write a daily diary about the absolute non-sensical driving maneuvers that we see, but it would be repetitive after a short while...and they all come down to the question of whether the driver is stupid or asshole.  I do have to get a couple of the more common ones off my chest though. 

On a three of four lane road, you will often see a car drifting all the way to the left lane, but within a few yards of the intersection, decide that is the time for a right turn and will literally veer across all the lanes to make their turn. 

The other scenario is the impatient turner...this is the guy that arrives at an intersection and a car or two is sitting in the left turn lane waiting for a break in oncoming traffic to ease to make their turn.  The impatient guy will move around the waiting cars and pull in front of the first car in the turn lane so he can go first.  Often times his car is sticking into either the oncoming traffic lanes, so those cars have to veer around him (possibly hitting scooters that are careening alongside of those cars), or is sticking out into the through lanes of his own street also causing cars to veer around him into potential accidents.  I know this is an illegal move as I have studied their traffic "laws", but this is an absolute common and expected maneuver.  It seems like such an F-U move that this a-hole thinks his time and existence in this life is superior to anyone elses's that I seriously feel violence welling up inside me towards them. Being able to articulate this frustration helps me find my happy place.  I cannot wait to get to Italy in a few weeks to glimpse first hand at how they drive as their "creativity" on the roads is legendary and to see how it compares to TW.

In Chinese class the other day, we were learning the names for furniture and discussion turned to why the Japanese tables are so low and how that culture sits on the floor.  The teacher (who is now my go-to source on everything cultural) said that the Japanese originated from China, but they emigrated to those countries before the invention of the chair in China about 500 years ago and never widely adopted the use of it in their society.  I am then guessing that is the cause as to why Japanese butts evolved as they have as they do not start protruding a good 4-5 inches lower than those of the rest of the world. 

The Turducken game invented yesterday is providing endless hours of entertainment and predict it will be sweeping the nation Gangnam style soon enough.  To recap, a Tuducken is a Thanksgiving treat where a chicken is stuffed into a duck and then stuffed into a turkey.  The game is to who can come up with the "best" Chinese version of the Turducken...last nights winner was the Turdogat, which is a rat/dog/turkey combo.  Feel free to submit your concoction in the comments and we will announce the winner at Christmas.

Finally...stumbled across this SNL clip about the iPhone 5.  We've been quoting it liberally and now perform the Traditional Chinese Sarcastic Dance whenever someone starts whining.

November 21, 2012

A benefit of uprooting your life and moving into something completely new is how it forces your brain to reactivate.  Living somewhere, or doing anything the same over a long period of time makes the little things a lot easier, and I find myself longing for the similar.  At the same time, I can feel my mind expanding and searching out for new things, and find myself asking "why" a lot more.  One of the questions I have asked frequently is why are the locals so afraid of the water...in particular the rain.  They will all immediately pop their umbrellas out at the lightest of sprinkles and will keep them up long after the rain has stopped. 

In Seattle, the use of umbrellas is negligible and it is more a sign of a true local to walk around in the rain without one.  Some people (OK, the Q&A section of the Playboy centerfolds) will say that a turn-on for them is a walk on the beach.  I like those too, but I also love a nice walk in the rain. 

So I've been asking what the deal is with the umbrellas to nearly everyone I meet and never got a good answer...until today.  My Chinese teacher is a fantastic resource for cultural information.  She gives a real answer, unlike Betty or our cousin Sharon that just makes stuff up in an attempt to shock or horrify us.  The teacher said the reason for the umbrellas is due to the acid rain.  Shit.  She said to wear something black in the rain and you'll see that'll make permanent spots on your clothing.  It'll also make you go bald.  Double shit.  I have noticed a lot more hair falling out lately.  I read up on it a bit and it is true, and although they say it has gotten better in the last few years, increased pollution coming from China doesn't bode well for it to go away.  I was watching CNN during their coverage of the mainland Chinese power transfer the other day, and the correspondent was talking with the city in the background and the pollution was horrific...way worse than what I remember in LA in the 70's.  Check this out.   

Another answer I got recently was why there are so many stray dogs roaming the streets.  They don't seem wild and as I 've posted before, they seem quite smart and harmless.  What I was told was that when people grow tired of their dogs, they just kick them out of the house and loose on the street.  That made me sad...

Speaking of dogs, Thanksgiving is tomorrow and we are going to have about 17 family and friends over to celebrate.  We have an oven, but it's kinda small and the temperature is a bit unpredictable, so have ordered one from a tasty American BBQ joint that we discovered recently.  You know what a Turducken is of course...well here they have a Turdogen. 

November 20, 2012

The have a saying here that goes...Xiao jie mai sheme?  Xiao Jie mai gui xi fu.  Translated, that means, if you don't like the weather in Taipei, wait 5 minutes and shoot yourself in the face. 

Seriously, the weather has been really nice for the last month, but had a chance to break out that old joke (first heard about Seattle) as we suffered through really crappy weather at Paul's baseball games last Saturday and told it at dinner with the family later that night.  It took the kids a bit to get the awesomeness that is that joke, but to their credit, they finally appreciated it.  I know they did as later in the meal, we were reflecting on a meal that Betty cooked years ago where she put a new ingredient in one of the kids favorite meals and "ruined" it for them.  After rehashing that traumatic incident, I say to Paul, "If you don't like the food that your Mom cooks for you...", he said without skipping a beat, "I'll wait 5 minutes and shoot myself in the face." 

Back to baseball, it was the second part of their tournament and they had to win two games to get the trophy and they were victorious in both with scores of 6-1 and 8-3.  The second game was tied 3-3 going into the last inning when they busted it open with 5 runs.  Paul is still holding his own against the older competition going 3-7 with a walk and a couple of stolen bases on the day.

 

The problem was that it was Seattle weather...low 60's with a cool breeze along the river for the 8AM game, then a steady to heavy rain for the noon Championship game.  In spite of the downpour, the fellas were very happy with the outcome.

I keep hearing that it is cold here, but low 70's in the day and upper 60's at night still feels like summer to me.  My teacher says that dry cold only hits your skin, but the wet cold here goes all the way to the bone.  I always thought that Seattle was wet cold, so we'll see, but anyone that's been here a while swears that I'll be wearing a light jacket by this time next year, and a down coat in year 3. 

We lost the Grandma at Chinese class...she hasn't been for a while and the teacher thinks she went back home.  She was struggling with the culture shock and wasn't too surprised.  I hope she didn't stop coming when I laughed out loud at her when she claimed that the only legitimate news outlet was Fox News..."The only one that's fair and balanced." she said.  I do think I pissed off the other lady in my class lat Monday.  We were learning country names and she wanted to know the country name for Wales.  The teacher has taught Chinese in many countries (including Europe) and she was confused as Wales is a part of the UK, but lady was adamant about being Welsh and not British.  The conversation went like this:

Teacher: Is the Queen still the head of state?
Wales: Yes, but we are our own nation.
Me: Does Wales field their own Olympic team?
Wales: No, put my (British) passport says my nationality is Welsh.
Teacher: Do you have your own currency?
Wales: No...you just don't understand, we are our own country.
Me: Does Wales have their own seat at the UN?
Wales: (looking more agitated) No...we are our own country and it is insulting when people say that we aren't.
Me: Sounds like you're a POME (Prisoner Of Mother England) to me.

That's when I got the stinkiest of eyes and we all decided it was time to move on.  Here is what Wikipedia has to say about it.  Kind of sounds like it's the crackpot segment of their society, no?  Perhaps I'm being my usual unsympathetic self, but it seems awfully provincial...like the butt-heads that want to secede from the Union since the last election.  I can understand a group like the Armenians or Kurds striving for autonomy after centuries of persecution, but the Welsh?  And perhaps it's my love of the Star Trek dream of a future where we all speak the same tongue and consider ourselves part of a single race, rather than finding comfort by putting up walls to our own little worlds.      Regardless...don't let them free England!

We've been here roughly 4 months, and can already see some major changes in the kids.  Carolyn had attended Catholic school since Kindergarten, and she had always been the "religious" one in our family because of it.  She would always call me on using the Lords name in vain for instance.  The other day as we were driving to school and people were walking in the middle of the street without moving to the side, I had to give 'em a little toot of the horn.  Carolyn pipes up from the back seat and says, "Jesus, these people walk worse than they drive!"

Kinda caught me off guard and didn't have a reply ready other than laughing.  Oh well, am not in the running for Father of the Year anyway.

In an never ending thirst for all that is Chinese superstition, heard a couple of new ones lately that were too good not to pass along. 

First, if you point at the moon, your ears will rot.  My hearing is starting to go but always thought it was from years of pummeling them with way too loud rock and roll.

Second, men that are ticklish are afraid of their wives. Not sure about this one either as I am certainly not ticklish, but am definitely afraid of my wife.

Finally, from previous experiences in living overseas, one of the realities was that you miss out on certain pop culture trends.  I remember coming back from Argentina wondering what the whole Twin Peaks thing was about.  With the advancement of technology and being able to watch TV and listen to any radio station live wherever we are, am going to be able to keep up with such important trends like Honey Boo Boo.  Am wondering if it also goes both ways.  The biggest thing here (rivaling the heat of The Macaraina back in the day) is this artist called PSY and his song Gangnam Style.  The song and video truly are pure genius and the kids and I do the dance moves to perfection.  They have TV stations dedicated to the K-Pop genre (phenomenon?).  With the exception of PSY, it's all total crap, but the locals are totally in.  Pictures of the K-Pop stars on their notebooks, the hip kids sporting retro Flock of Seagull haircuts, etc. 

Oh yeah...twenty days into Mo-vember and am feelin' like one of ZZ Tops illegitimate children. 

Howdy

November 16, 2012

Promised a photo of the dog in stroller phenomenon.  Not only do I keep my promises, I go above and beyond.  Sorry about the iPhone rotation.

They seemed pissed that I was taking their photo, but they were damned cute.

November 14, 2012

I love stereotypes.  I think they are directionally correct and you can have a lot of laughs with them.  Again...not true in all cases, but are more true than not for gender, races, ages, political affiliation, etc.  I know it isn't politically correct to be so enamored by them, but this diary never claimed to be PC.

Heard about a new sub-ethnic group of Chinese this week called the Hakka.  If you read the Wiki definition  of them, you'll find they are a proud and influential group that has contributed much to Chinese history.  The resentment must come from the fact that they are migratory and settle in other provinces. We were having lunch with a friend here (Mexican raised in Canada) that married into a Hakka family, and he was going off on his Hakka mother-in-law.  Really wish I had a recording of it as he described how truly horrible, mean and cheap she is...hilarious.  Always complaining he doesn't make enough money, spent her husbands entire pension on new teeth forcing him to go back to work at half pay, eating rotten vegetables so as not to waste money buying fresh ones, and so on.  They were described as equal parts gypsy, Mexican and Jewish...even the word Hakka cannot be said without total contempt.  Try it...it's fun. 

While we're on the stereotype run, heard a good one about "Asian" eyes.  Obviously, there is a scientific aspect to why the structure of the eyes in Asia are genetically different that those in other parts of the world.  But as usual, the man on the street can simplify it in such a way as to make the world make perfect sense.  We were talking about the difference between the different Asian countries, along how they all look the same line, and heard this...you can tell the difference between them as the edges of Japanese eyes go up, Korean eyes go straight across, and Chinese go down.  So simple, but upon closer inspection...so true.  The Chinese, due to the geographic size are much more diverse (of course), but all in all, I have noticed this to be true.  Will save some of my other observartions about the Japanese and Koreans for another day.

Went to the final book discussion group at the kids school last Thursday.  The book is called How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen (And How To Listen So Your Kids Will Talk).  I have recommended this book in a previous post, but I love this book so much that have to do so again.  The lessons on how to deal with people, not just kids, are so simple yet work so well.  I catch myself a lot not doing what it promotes, and then seeing how the conversation turns negative, but the instant you start to talk/listen in the way the book describes, the person you are dealing with attitude changes immediately and positively.  True genius...if you read one book this year, I would consider this one.

So anyway, we were talking about differences between Western and Chinese culture with respect to families and how they take care of their elders.  Again, it's a stereotype, but in the West, children aren't expected to take in their elder parents, while in Asia, it is the expectation that you not only take care of them, but take them into your home.  I've noticed that the while the Chinese have friends, that they do more social things with their families than with their friends.  From my experience, I love my family deeply, but also consider my friends to be part of my family and treat them exactly (if not better) than my own family sometimes.  The consensus in the group (equal parts Chinese and Western) was this was true but that the Chinese were becoming more "Westernized" in this respect.  I was asked what my feeling/expectation was about my own kids taking care of me in my old age and it was my feeling that while I did not expect them to take care of me, I would hope that I raised them to want to do so. 

Carolyn's class has had a swimming unit the last few weeks.  The whole class goes to the pool three times a week and learns basic swimming safety skills, and yesterday, the parents were invited to come watch what they had been learning.  Very practical lessons on how to wear and use a life vest.

How to help a person that is struggling in the water.

How to dive, etc.

What they couldn't explain was the (stereotype) pathological fear of the Taiwanese to water.  For a race that lives on an island that gets a lot of rainfall, the aversion to water seems odd.  Carolyn and I were eating dinner at an open air restaurant the other night on a day in which it had rained, and we were counting the number of people that had umbrellas open, and it wasn't even raining.   At the swimming class, the teacher was giving an introduction and said that they had swimsuits ready for the parents to get in the water...it was a joke of course, but the poor Chinese moms were starting to freak out that they were going to have to get in with the kids.  Probably didn't help when I announced that I didn't need one as I prefer to swim naked.  My "brand" of humor still isn't getting through unfortunately. 

November 9, 2012

Sometimes when I sit down to post, I have a definite idea as to what's gonna come out...today is not one of those days. 

Last night was one of those where the wind was blowing down from the hills north of us, and the hills are alive with the smell of thermal activity.  Tons of hot springs bubbling up from the not so far away meshing of tectonic plates and releasing a heady steam of sulfur into the air.  Not the greatest smell, but it is something to a person with a love of How The Earth Was Made that makes this place so interesting....the knowledge that the ground below you is so alive.  That linked episode abouut gold from one of the greatest documentary shows ever is really worth watching.

This morning, took Betty early and there were not many people about.  At one intersection, saw a couple of girls that were all dressed up and looked like they were talking the walk of shame.  I think I noticed them mainly due to their legs being so skinny.  The combination of a little black cocktail dress and scrawny little legs made me coin a new term for that look...swizzle sticks.  Think it's going to take off.

That reminds me of something I learned at Chinese class the other day...our teacher is very sincere in telling us that the Chinese language is easy to learn in so many ways.  A common theme for her is that while there are over 1.5 million English words, there are only 50,000 Chinese characters.  Not only that, but words are continuously being added to the English dictionary, while in Chinese, they never add a new character but combine old ones for new inventions.  For instance, airplane in translated as a flying machine and a computer is an electronic brain.  I can see a benefit in keeping it simple, especially as someone new to a language, but there is something about the variety of the English language that allows one to turn a phrase that is far more interesting.  Has to be a total bitch to learn it, but has to be the reason why English is the language of comedy. 

On our route home from the Costco, we pass by this duck store...it has my favorite neon sign in town and finally snapped a picture to share.  No commentary, just think it's cool.

 

Finally for today, it's November 9th and we're 1/3 of the way into MO-vember...that special time of year when the fellas are encouraged to grow facial hair as part of prostate cancer awareness month.  It's a great time for yours truly as I've been able to grow the thickest of beards ever since I was 16 (which made me the designated under age alcohol buyer), but even more so as the Chinese just don't have that gene in their DNA (wonder what the Chinese call DNA).  It's a common trait amongst humans to be envious of what you don't have, and have been getting frequent envious comments from the men.  So far, the chicks seem equally split between being horror and arousal.  At the 7-11 this morning, this little little girl was just staring at me with her mouth agape.  Was chatting with Carolyn's 4th grade teacher at a Parent/Teacher function (with free booze) on Tuesday about facial hair, and he asked me if I knew why the Italians wore gold chains?  To let them know where to stop shaving of course. 

Hi, y'all.

November 7, 2012

Just got back from Chinese class...surprisingly, I am not hating it.  Having been arouund it for so long, it is much easier for me to understand conceptually than it is for my classmates.  The grandma on the other hand, has no chance.  She has so many excuses...today's was that her anti-seizure medicine affects her short term memory.  The teacher said she should study and then it would become long term.  The grandma also claimed that CNN stood for Communist News Network and that she missed Fox News cause it was the only one that was "fair and balanced".  Blows my mind. 

Side note...sitting here now watching the results come in and cannot tell you how glad I am that the pro-rapists Aiken and Mourdock both lost today.  I pray that the GOP gets the message to get out of the personal liberty business and focuses only on some good ol' fashioned fiscal conservatism. 

We were talking about social etiquette today in class and the teacher agreed that the Chinese don't get it.  Am a firm believer in holding doors and saying thank you when someone does...no one ever even acknowledges that you hold a door open and will always let one fly back on you as they go through one.  I saw an old fella nearly get knocked down this morning coming out of a shop by a young person.  They are very big on respecting the elders in their family, but screw you if you aren't blood.  You see it manifested everywhere, especially on the roads...gonna need to do something about it. 

Here is a "fact" I had not heard before...did you know that the grey hair on your head is genetic, but that having grey pubic hairs is caused by stress?  Don't ask me how I know...but I can say with pride that I am stress-free!

November 5, 2012

Couple of things I keep forgetting to mention.

First...if you should be thinking about a visit to Taiwan, October and (so far) November has seen absolutely perfect weather.  Highs in the low 80's/upper 70's and never getting lower than upper 60's at night.  A bit humid, but manageable.  Not sure if I would recommend it as a vacation destination on its own, but you could spend a few days to see it all,and then head onto another locale.

The other thing is a recommendation.  If you are a lover of good/bad TV like me, go rent yourself the Charlie's Angels series reboot from a year or so ago...the one with Jeter's ex Minka Kelly.  It only lasted 4 episodes on TV in the States, but they made 8 eps and just showed them in a marathon here.  Such great bad dialogue/wardrobe/plots...you name it, it had it all/nothing.  When you hear of a storm coming through, grab it and snuggle up in front of a fire with the Angels. 

Paul had his first baseball tournament this past weekend.  His team is made up of middle and high school age kids, but there aren't many of those teams in town, so this tournament was open to all ages of recreational caliber teams.  They had two games, and while there was a sprinkling of similar aged kids on the opposing teams, they were primarily made up of older guys.  As the second team was waiting to play his squad, saw some of their players having some pre-game smokes.  This guy was one of the pitchers they faced.

Was a decent junkballler, but they tagged him for a couple runs.  Paul's team were all kids in the field, bout their coaches pitched for them and they were both on fire.  Our team won both games by 4-0 and 4-1 scores.  Paul said he was a little freaked seeing how old the opponents were before the first game, but once it got going, he and the team settled in confidently.  He went 3-5 with a walk and RBI and played solid 3B.  They played with those goofy rubber balls, which takes some getting use to, but all in all, was a fun time and they are ranked #1 going into next weeks Championship round.  Some snaps...the field is along the river with a very lovely background.

 

So nice to watch baseball in nice weather after years of sitting in crappy cold Seattle spring temps...



 

I think that one of the main reasons Paul likes baseball is that it is 5% action, and 95% BS time.  With him being unable to flip shit to the Mandarin speakers, he pretty much whistles his way through the game.

The kid has a nice stroke (credit to Frank Meirer of Seattle Select baseball for that).



 

My favorite part of Chinese baseball is the post game group tipping of the cap to the other team...very positive mojo and a thing that should be adopted in US baseball.

I had to run before the end of the second game to take Carolyn to her soccer game.  She is on a U-10 club team...she has speed galore but needs to work on her aggression.  We have some time to work on that, but for now, it's all about the exercise and having fun...and fashion.  Tell me she doesn't look good in red?

She is #4...which is the unluckiest number in Chinese.  The sound saying "four" in Chinese is very close to the word for death, so is treated much like the #13 in English.  Many buildings do not have a fourth floor for instance.  We are embracing it on the field of play...who wants death bearing down on them?

November 3, 2012

Caught my first rock and roll show here on Thursday...finally.  A triple bill of And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Thurston Moore and Dinosaur Jr.  I wont bore you with an extended review, but Dinosaur Jr. was solid and super loud (as always), Thurston's new post Sonic Youth band was a big disappointment, and I absolutely loved AYWKUBTTOD.  Had always avoided them for some reason, probably due to the dorky name, but they rocked it hard and would recommend them to anyone that enjoys some loud driving rock and roll. 

Am happy to report that seeing a show in Taipei was much like the experience one would find in the States.  The sound was excellent (they make excellent high-end speakers here), very crisp and clear sound at high volume...I could feel the sound in my colon during Dino Jr.  A couple of things that were better is that I could see over the heads of the crowd better.  I wouldn't say the Taiwanese are short, their nutrition has been good far too long to be N. Koreanesque, but they aren't farm raised/steroid fed from birth sized like you get in the States, so I could be a few rows back and have a relatively unobstructed view.  They also don't get totally shit-faced and make an ass out of themselves.  There is some boozing for sure, but the only douche bags that I saw getting loaded and making a display of themselves were a couple of Westerners (embarrassingly enough).  There was a decent moshpit going at times...as the bands were from the U.S., there was a liberal sprinkling off Westerners in the club, and they were leading the way in the pit, so you could compare the dance stylings of the two cultures easily.  The Westerners had a much more bruising style (think rugby where you beat the crap out of each other and then hug it out after), while the TW's were more dancey/pushy/laughing.  Personally, I like to go to a show and not get my head pounded in (plus the knees can't take the abuse), so give the nod to the Asian mosh pit.  I think the lower contact in the pit can be attributed to the fact that everyone in it wears big thick glasses, and you wouldn't hit a kid with glasses.  

One minor complaint, and it wouldn't be a diary entry without at least one, was the high volume of backpacks.  I've noticed that they are not uptight about security here.  Living for the last 10 years in post 9/11 America, there is a huge difference in the feel of security in a country that has not been a target of terrorism.  For instance, when going to a baseball game or a show, no one looks in your bag and you can bring in whatever you want and ingest it freely.  Saw a bunch of people loading up with tall boy beers at the 7-11 pre-show and drinking them inside.  The downside of that is that 1 in 4 people had this big sack on their back so you're constantly getting jostled by people's swinging backpacks.  I understand that with a scooter culture, you have to carry your gear on your back and can't just leave it in the scooter.  Really, it was really a minor inconvenience that can be navigated easily enough and making (vodka infused) lemonade out of lemons, you know I'm gonna be packing my booze in next time.  So overall, a very positive and fun experience and am excited to start checking out some local stuff. 

Briefly, Betty and I went to Paul's 8th grade parent-teacher conference yesterday.  All the teacher's had a table and you would get 10 minutes with each (if needed).  Like everything at this school, the event was extremely well organized and we were able to meet all of his teachers without waiting more than 10 minutes for any of them.  After 8+ years of schooling, we've grown used to the reaction we get when meeting his teachers for the first time...goes something like this;

Us: "Hello, we're Paul's parents."
Teacher: "Ohhhhhh...so you're Paul's parents."

Once they get over the disdain of meeting the Demon seeds parents, we are then told about how "spirited" (at best) or disruptive he is in their class, so Betty and I are always ready for the worst. 

So every teacher we met yesterday gave us the same, "ohh, you're Paul's parents" line, to which we instinctively gave each other a knowing glance, but then they (all) launched into how much the loved having him in class.  He has earned really good grades in quarter 1, and other than the need for him to slow down, talk about his work effort was positive.  What surprised us was that they all loved his "spirit" in class.  Engaged, leader, fun, actively participant..how can things that were always disruptive before seem to be able to be channeled into positive attributes over a summer?  The (very cute) drama teacher mentioned three times as to how Paul would stick his head in her door between periods to say hello and would get mad at her if she didn't respond in kind back to him (a bit stalky sounding, but way to go boy).  His History/Homeroom teacher is an organizer of the Model UN team and appreciates his "gift of gab" so much that she recruited him onto their team that will travel to Malaysia in the Spring to compete with other schools.  The science teacher was the funniest of all when he leaned over the table and said in a whisper that, "this school probably has as high a concentration of nerds as any in the world, so a kid with Paul's social skills and intellect would do really well.".  WTF!!??  All hail the King of the Nerds.  Obviously, Betty and I were out of our minds ecstatic, and there is too much of a history of bad parent-teacher conferences to completely believe what we heard, but have been trying to understand the night/day change.  Could it be that Asian kids are so ingrained in study and not to express themselves openly, that all the teachers are appreciative of a kid that will offer up opinions and to not be afraid to embarrass himself in public?  Is it that teacher's in America are frustrated that they have a classroom full of kids that are "full of personality"?  Is it a commentary on the difference between private and public education, where a teacher is recruited and their employment is judged (and renewed) based on merit?  Or is it something else...?  Whatever it is, the change in this students effort and desire is palpable and pray that it is something he can build upon. 

November 1, 2012

Went back to Chinese class yesterday and told the teacher about my new Chinese name...PinPin.  She said that it was more of a feminine sounding name or like the way you would talk to a child,  In Chinese, they will say a word twice for baby talk (nai is milk so they say nai nai to kids)...much like we will add an "e" to a word (nice doggy) in English baby talk.  She said I should ask my family for a Chinese name, which I informed her they already had (Pon su, which translates as fat ass).  She laughed but confirmed the notion that it is very common for families to give mean nicknames to each other.  And you can only give a nasty nickname to a younger relative...not to an older one.  The teacher's nickname for her younger sister translated into "the ugly one".  One of the ladies in the class said that sucked cause she was the youngest child, but the teacher said, "that's OK...you can give your brother or sisters children an endearingly mean nickname".  I know that their calling me Fat Ass is supposed to be endearing, so I asked her about the name they call my wife's sister's husband, who happens to be Israeli.  They call him Yo Tai Gue...the Jewish Ghost.  Teacher didn't think that was so nice...my classmates were pretty much horrified. 

The teacher said I should try this website to give myself a Chinese name. You put in your name, birth date, and a defining characteristic. My name came up as Yan Zhi Han . For fun, I loaded my name in the Gangsta name generator and it came back as Fat Ugly Pud. When even the computer is mocking you, it's time to lose some weight.

We learned how to say numbers yesterday.  The number seven is pronounced "chee" and the teacher said that you are supposed to say that when you want someone to smile for a picture.  I mentioned that our family says "Whiskey" instead of Chee or Cheese.  That was met with another look of disbelief. 

An interesting note about numbers...in Chinese, the number 13 is said "1 ten + 3", 62 is "6 ten + 2" and so on.  The teacher said there was a study done and they found that the Chinese were better at math at earlier ages as the language made learning how to count easier.  With the stereotype that the Chinese are good at math, it kinda makes sense.  I said that is good to know so I can tell it to the Chinese side of our family, who always says their superiority in mathematics was due to a higher intellect.  A classmate chimed in that she wasn't surprised they would say that since they sound like alcoholic racists. 

Had an interesting back and forth with my (9 year-old) daughter this morning...they have swimming class this week and she was wearing her swim suit underneath her t-shirt.  She said that the swim top felt like a training bra.  She is definitely not ready for that yet, but said that she sees some of her friends starting to wear them.  I asked her what a training bra was training them to do?  She took a beat and then gave me one of her more disgusted looks.  Betty said it was to train them to stay in the right place...if you don't wear a training bra, will you end up looking like this?.




 That's the hot new fashion trend in Japan...bagel forehead saline injections.  I do not make this stuff up.

They have lots of holiday's here...last week was Taiwan Restoration Day, commemorating the return of Taiwan to China from Japan after WWII.  Japan had controlled Taiwan for the previous 55 years after the First Sino-Japanese War.  Yesterday was Chiang Kai-shek's b-day (Happy 126).  The ones I am still a bit confused over are the days when the Taoist/Buddhists burn the money.  Have detailed the practice of having a burning trash can outside of homes and shops where they burn money to appease the spirits, but on certain days, everyone starts lighting these things up and the whole city has a smell of burning paper.  Have not been able to figure out when and why these periodically happen, but am working on my understanding.  I think it has to do with the lunar cycle.  Another thing they do on these days is put out food offerings.  These are usually on a small card table in front of their stores and have incense and fresh fruit, and on almost every table, a bag of Doritos (Nacho Cheese or Taco flavor).  I love 'em too, but still cannot wrap my mind around why the spirits are so into them.  Much like Kwai Chang Caine, Grasshopper has a lot to learn..

October 30, 2012

Have been unusually busy last few days so haven't posted as much as I'd like to lately.  Took my first "Survival Chinese" language class yesterday, and it was quite interesting.  We are learning using the mainland Chinese version of pinying that I detailed in the last entry.  My teacher was saying that this version came about when Mao Tse Tung decided that the complexity of the Chinese language was a main cause for them to be culturally behind the world and directed a simplification of the language...that fits in with others that have said this simplification if far less elegant than traditional Chinese.  The new teacher started off by telling us how easy Chinese is to speak.  There are only 5 tones to learn, there are no articles, there is one pronoun for he/she, only one tense (no past pluperfect thankfully), and you can do just about anything using only a total of 3000 characters (as opposed to over 1.5 million words in English).  It helps me that the vowels are pronounced the same as in Spanish as opposed to English.  I think the hardest part will be that the sentence structure bears no resemblance to the Romance languages, but there is hope.  The class is only three people, all having arrived in Taiwan within the last three months.  There is me, a lady from Wales, and a Grandma from San Jose.  I can already tell the Grandma is going to be a problem...she is obviously here against her will and seems to be throwing up a mental roadblock to all things Chinese.  For example, the word for he/she is ta (pronounced 'tah"), but she will go through 1/2 a dozen other pronunciations (tay/toe/too/tea/tie/tung) before throwing up her hands and saying "I just don't understand".  Reminds me so much of my mom and trying to teach her how to use the computer (I know she reads this on occasion...so sorry Mom). 

One thing I didn't bring up was my idea of giving Westerners Chinese names like the Asians give themselves Western names.  My favorite from work was always Winky Ho, but there are a lot of funny ones out there that are not coming to mind.  I am thinking that I'm the first Westerner to adopt a Chinese name...Pin Pin.  I told our cousin Sharon about it and she wasn't impressed adding that I already had been given a Chinese name by her family...Pon su, which translates into Fat Ass.  Since I don't trust my family implicitly, will ask the teacher about it at the next class. 

In the The More I See The Less I Believe file this week are a couple observations from the Costco.  First...why do people who leave their carts in the middle of an aisle and then wander off for a food sample or examine some item for 5 minutes bug the crap out of me?  Happens all the time, and not just in TW, but happened almost constantly to us yesterday and it nearly put me out of my mind.  By the end of the trip, I was just banging into them to push them out of the way...don't think the little kid the parents left in that cart was amused.  I know its cause people don't have a sense of their surroundings and are so wrapped up in their own world, but when you're amongst the masses, take a second to think about space and your place in it. 

The other thing that blows my mind here is how the condiment trough contents are considered free to take home.  Was talking with some Russians the other night about Costco and they found this habit amongst the locals to be the most unbelievable.  I had not noticed myself, but made it a point to observe on my next visit.  I go to Costco a lot, mainly since I pick Betty up from work a few times a week, and just go a bit early to pick-up the essentials...milk, eggs and whiskey.  You can see the food court while standing in the check-out line, and damned if I didn't see at least one person loading up on ketchup, relish or onions three times in a row.  They will take their empty hot dog wrapper, or just a pile of napkins, crank the handle till it's full, and put it in their purse or bag.  I asked our Costco friends what they thought about this practice.  They know about it, but don't want to hassle the customers and just let them have at it.  I thought there would be a view of it on YouTube for sure, but all I could find was this dope. So SoCal.

 
Finally, it was the International Food Fair at the kids school last Saturday.  Was a very hot and humid day and I was grilling hot dogs (provided by Costco) for a good three hours.  Not a pretty sight.

.

October 27, 2012

Many people know that my nickname is Gomez...was anointed that name in college (long story, and not for kids), but have always given that name when making reservations for things as it is less common than John (except in Los Angeles and parts of Mexico), and way easier than Imbrogulio.  With the language barrier here, it just ain't working the same.  We went to our local Thai joint last night and when Gomez wasn't working, tried to give Betty's surname, which is Pien.  As she kept writing letters down, it ended up on the page as Pin Pin.  We started laughing as Pinpin Pula was the name of a character (notorious terrorist) on our favorite show, NCIS.  So, Pin Pin is now our nom de bouffe (at least until our Chinese friends inevitably tell us that it means something horrible).

Speaking of language barriers, finally got an answer to one of the more nagging questions.  When trying to navigate somewhere, the maps and signs often have differing versions of Chinese translated into Pinying.  On my map, am looking for ZhongShan Rd., but when we get there, the signs on the street will say something like Song Chiang Rd.  We were at Carolyn's teacher conference and popped into her Mandarin teacher's class to meet her.  Super lady, one of those teachers that makes the classroom fun in a way that you are excited to learn from her.  We're sitting there learning about the class and just shooting the breeze, and I ask what the deal is with all the varying styles of Pinying.  Unexpectedly, it was not due to the masochistic streak of the Chinese to make their language so hard to outsiders to remain intellectually isolationist, but rather was an interesting story about the age of world exploration and geopolitics.  The way she explained it, in Taiwan, there are three distinct versions of Pinying...the oldest was derived from the translations done by the earliest Europeans to arrive in China.  These were both Latin based and later, from the Dutch, who had many "trading outposts" in the area.  At the end of WWII, and with the fall of the Nationalist ROC to the Communist China PRC, those two entities created their own distinct versions of "simplified" Pinying.  In Taiwan (ROC), with the influx of Americans, who became increasing protectors of the government, they adopted a version the teacher called Yale-o, which was devised by a professor from Yale and developed with a bent towards English speakers, and implemented on the island.  On mainland China, with their Russian comrades growing importance, another version of Pinying was developed that was geared towards Russian speakers.  Later, as the PRC became the dominant force internationally, with their ever increasing cultural and educational interactions with the west, the PRC version of Pinying has become the dominant version internationally.  So within the last decade or so, the Taiwanese government has decided to adopt that version officially as well.  The problem is that not only are there old maps, but some are reluctant to change to the PRC version...even the teacher said the Taiwanese version was far more elegant than the PRC style.  Add to that the facts that it was written in the European manner for centuries as little as 40 years ago, and the locals lack of really caring to spend money changing signs (why would you, the only people that get pissed off are foreigners) and there you have it.  Interesting, but still a point of frustration.  Oh yeah...my Survival Chinese language class starts tomorrow.  Really looking forward to that.

A couple of other things have been bugging me lately.  First, is it just me, or are more restaurants adding lemon or lime slices in their water jugs.  I seem to recall it on occasion growing up, but it feels as if every other restaurant these days is putting them in their water pitchers.  This is not just a Taiwan thing, but had noticed it more and more in the States as well.  I don't like it...what is wrong with the taste of plain water?   And if there is something wrong with the taste of your particular water that begs for some citrus to cover it up...perhaps I shouldn't be drinking it?  And inevitably, you get a seed that gets stuck in the back of your throat that kinda freaks you out, which you then have to spit out into your napkin (at best).  I would feel like an asshole if I asked for some water sans lemon and would probably get water with a little nose citrus added anyway. 

 The other thing that's been bumping me is Chinese men with really kinky curly hair.  Not weird...just different, and with a head full of it myself, I shouldn't be so harsh, but still.  I mention this today as Paul and I are going for our first Taiwannese haircut this afteroon...as the sign says (I think)...one bowl fits all.



Alright, gonna settle in for World Series Game three and they are singing the National Anthem...by Zooey Daschenel?  The game is in Detroit...they couldn't prop up some ol' Motown great to sing the Anthem.