Movie alert! Everyone is looking for something to watch and all of have something to recommend..including me. I am currently watching The Wire for the first time, having saved it for just such a rainy day, and can attest that it is as fantastic as they all said. In thanks to the algorithms that provide content to me, like every story on the planet Uranus with a hilarious headline, I received a story about a new movie out in a couple days called Butt Boy. If you haven't heard about it yet, you most certainly will.
Here is the link to The Daily Beast's article about it, and you really owe it to yourself to read up about the plot, but in a thumbnail; A man in a dead end job and boring life gets a prostate exam. It affects him so much that he starts putting more things up his butt resulting in him putting a young child up there, and by some twist of the cosmos, things that go up there disappear. Don't want to spoil the ending for you, but talk about must see.
Have been making an effort to circle around to folks I talked to early in their lockdowns to take their pulse as to how they are coping, and had a back and forth with a friend that's been working from home for a few weeks. She's a little bit older than I and offered that while she isn't happy about it, she gets to go to the stores during senior hours as she is 60. I hit 55 in September so asked if she joined AARP and what she found to be useful with it if so. She did join but has found no discounts or access to stuff that she uses. She asked me what I thought and while I haven't seen anything either, I do watch a bunch of daytime TV with my mom when I visit and there are a ton of products that I see in my future. I know I am covered if I ever get mesothelioma but do not think I worked with asbestos. I definitely want one of the carts that they ride around, and the bathtub that has a door that you can walk into looks useful although I see the seal of that thing wearing out in short order and having a flooded floor that I would slip on and crack a hip. I tell my friend that I see a device advertised often where you insert a sock on it and can slide your foot right into it without bending over. As a person with a herniated disc, getting my right sock on is a struggle and probably will only get worse. I ask if she has seen it and say I cannot remember the name but stop myself and say..."oh yeah, I remember, they call them Filipinas." She says is obvious horror, "Like the people?". I haven't seen this person much in many years so she forgets my style of humor. Nearly every caregiver my mom has is from the Philippines and workers in that industry are the biggest export they have. That gag is part of my 10 minute routine I'm working on about turning 55. Have told it to some Filipinos and they totally love it.
May have written this already but it's still on my topics to share list. It has been put on hold a bit lately as we are just not seeing many people these days, but a new greeting I have been using when someone arrives is to ask them, "Were you followed?" It's an ice breaker.
Not much to say in CoronaCorner this week other than Taiwan continues to be the global leader. For the first time in 36 days, there were no new reported cases yesterday The country stands at less than 400 cases (that is total infected, not dead) and they are not resting on their success with added mask wearing and other requirements being added regularly. They even took timeout from their daily briefing to address a concern that boys were being teased at school for wearing pink masks. Check it...
Oh yeah...the Taiwanese professional baseball league started last weekend. The first to resume in the world. The league only has 4 teams in it, and there are no fans in the stands, but one of the teams, the Rakutan Monkeys, loaded up some sections with cardboard cutouts (wearing face masks), mannequins and a robot band to provide some color and humor.
Finally for today, got to tell Babydoll a family story. She was very young when it happened but the details as to how my father passed away came up the other night as we're watching Let's Make A Deal. She has heard me tell the joke many times that goes, 'I want to die just like my dad...peaceful and asleep. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.' We get to see a couple of Let's Make A Deal shows per week and it is kind of our mindless together time. There are a couple types of contestants that when they reveal themselves for who they are, we immediately know they are gonna get the crappy prize or Zonk. The first is the person that invokes Jesus/God before their prize is revealed. The other is the dumbass that makes their pick by stating, "Go big or go home Wayne!".
The absolute worst example of the latter person was a lady that won a car worth $17K, and when Wayne went to ask if she wanted to trade it in to go for the Big Deal that was worth $21K, he was visibly shocked she said yes. Should you not know, when you go for the Big Deal, you have a choice of 3 curtains, so your odds are 33% and so giving up $17K for a 33% chance at $21K is bat shitty. They come back from commercial break and Wayne doubles down stating the obvious and says he has to ask why she was going for it, and this moron says. "I have a two year old daughter at home and I want to teach her to go big or go home" They open up her curtain and it is the gawdamn exercise package (the Jesus/go big types always get the exercise package). You taught your kid a valuable lesson lady, that is for sure. Several in fact. This package includes a treadmill and this tire flipper thing, which is 1/2 a tire on some mechanism that simulates flipping a tire and would probably be used zero times in anyone's life. The lady did look like she could use an exercise package, but think the car woulda been more her style.
So that happens and as we are recapping it, we talk about how we are going to avoid the exercise package when we go on the show (planned for summer 2021 by the way) and I say that I need to not get the treadmill as that is what killed Grandpa. I see she hasn't heard this, so explain that my folks had a treadmill in their garage, which was never used of course, and when he was 82 years old decided to give it to an acquaintance. As he is unloading it into this person's garage, he has a massive heart attack and was dead in minutes. I pray that is one of the ways I go out, although being vaporized by an undetected meteor impact is # 1
Well that was a dark way to end today's missive, but as Chuck Berry said...C'est la vie say the old folks, goes to show you never can tell.
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