Today's musings concern the topic of the day. I don't blame you if you have had enough of the chatter and wanna skip it. I promise that the next two entries will be about other topics so come back in a few days.
After our quarantine ended, took a stroll in the neighborhood and went to all the places on my list and got my temperature taken 5 times. At the bank, the department and grocery stores, restaurants, even the crap shack that sells everything you need cheap. At the restaurant last night, they took our temperature, made us use the disinfectant machine sprayer on our hands (another thing that's done everywhere) and then put a sticker on our shirts to indicate we've been processed. They even met us at the door as we were leaving to remove the sticker so we couldn't stumble into some other place and be assumed to be clean. Wearing masks and this kind of adherence to social constrictions always felt weird to someone from the land of the free, but there is not a person here that doesn't realize the severity of what's happening and is doing what they can. Here is a question for you...as of March 31st, 2020, what to Cuba, Tajikistan and Taiwan have in common? They are the only countries in the world where K-12 schools are open nationwide. There is a wave of new cases mostly being attributed to returning citizens, so we could go back on lockdown if those spread, but it is amazing to watch a country have a plan, adapt that plan to changing realities, and stay in control
I read a book last summer by a football executive named Michael Lombardi. He worked with Bill Walsh, Al Davis and Bill Belichick so has some bona fides...I know about him as I listen to his weekly podcast and recommend it if you like football cause he weaves a lot of Sopranos metaphors into football talk.
Anyway, as a guy that has coached a lot of kids sports, am always looking for philosophies to help me be a better one. In this book he lists his 7 traits a good coach/leader should display. The first three are:
1) Give them a plan
2) Give them faith in themselves
3) Give them inspiration when the fall short
Those are good things to remember and are foundational pieces for sure, but the last four are the ones that I found most useful for my purposes.
4) Push them when they go to slow
5) Calm them down when they go to fast
This has always been in my mind as almost every kid I have ever coached (and adult I've worked with for that matter including yours truly) goes too fast or too slow to some degree. Massaging them to pick it up/move their ass, or to take a breath/beat is pretty much all I do at practices.
I have had these 7 traits on my list to talk about in this space since August but never found the right moment, but watching the crap unfold the last month has made the last two stand out.
6) Stand behind them when they succeed
7) Stand in front of them when they fail
We had a good friend (Wineguy) in town a week or so back. He comes regularly and always enjoy that cause he typically stays with us for a week, which helps break up the monotony and makes the house more alive. We're all having dinner together (Wineguy, Betty, Babydoll and I) at home cause we were still on quarantine, and Wineguy starts razzing me about my pet peeves as he accompanied me on my daily walk that day and got to hear one of my go-to rants on the jerks that run the opposite direction on the track as everyone else. He was shocked when I told him that I have confronted these people on multiple occasions. I enjoy being challenged on my peeves as it gives me a chance to defend them empirically, and while do not enjoy being wrong, am willing to admit it if you can build a better case. I am/was not wrong about the clockwise runners, but Babydoll then makes the mistake of bringing up another of my peeves...the use of the word 'pride'.
Don't think I need to take another lap on it in this space cause I know I have done it multiple times, but in short, think it is a word that is not only terribly overused, but the people that use it are subconsciously demeaning the person they are proud of while puffing up themselves by taking credit for the accomplishment of others. B-doll has always called me a jerk for making this a thing, but on this night, Wineguy (who she seems to respect) totally agrees with my case and builds on it. I hope the exchange is swaying her to the cause (not that I want her to turn out as an etiquette vigilante like me, but still).
The pride thing totally relates to 6 & 7 above. If your player/subordinates at work do something great, push them out front and celebrate the accomplishment by being the loudest cheerleader. Conversely, if they fuck up, you need to take the public blow and then nurture them quietly out of the spotlight. This is something I have always done and it has cost me at times. I cannot take credit for anything good as it is always "we" did this or "I" should have prepared them better. It's almost pathological and while it sounds good, sometimes it hurts the cause for personal advancement. I remember a job interview when I was trying to tout my accomplishments to the interviewer and she asked me why I always said "we". Regardless, it is my core belief that that is what good people do and is why I don't fear God even though I may not be a "believer" cause living the just life should be enough to gain admission.
When I see boasting of any kind, like showing off after a goal, bat flip, etc., it drives me nuts cause when we celebrate, we do it together as a team. And when I see people deflect failure by blaming others, makes me go insane.
As you can guess, watching this president commit manslaughter and then deflect criticism sickens me. Nurses stealing, name calling Governors, blaming Obama, etc. etc. etc. It is hard to wade through stuff to figure out truth and hype, but this filth spews directly from his mouth and there can be no question he is an awful person. From 15 people down to zero to today's 100,000 dead will be a sign of a job well done, and then within hours of that statement tout that he is getting great ratings on his daily briefings. Who can possibly have those two sentences side by side, said 20 days apart, and still wake up and say he is doing a bang up job. That he has a second to spend thinking about Harry and Megan's security says it all. Anyone my age or older had the opportunity to see this guy's boasting emptiness since the 80's and still... All of us knew he was crap and prayed we'd get through this without a crisis happening cause we knew he'd be exactly like he is. And then 538 today says 15% of jilted Bernie supporters would vote for him. I am using no hyperbole when I say that the eyes in my head were bouncing from side to side.
I deleted a really dark paragraph equating this president's supporters (they are not Republicans anymore...there are still some decent ones but equating them to whatever is going with the party now would be inaccurate) to those that enabled monsters of the past, and will forever have to wear that shame. In the deleted paragraph I advocated people to cancel anyone that is still clinging to this guy but we have to still try to help them. My mom was part of the problem...have been calling her every day during this thing as a distraction, and every time I called that effin' Fox News was blaring. In every call, she would sheepishly parrot whatever the spin of the day was coming out of the TV. I say sheepishly cause she knows in her gut that this guy is an awful person, but was thoroughly brainwashed by their particular brand of newspeak. I have to be calm with her and along with all the rest of the folks that communicate with her, we finally got her to change the channel. Now, she tells me everyday how much she appreciates Cuomo's fact based emphatic relating of the facts, so there is hope. I know it is hard, especially with family and friends you don't want to jettison, but those are exactly the souls we need to save.
Had to get that out, and trust me, is not as bad as it was.
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