August 29, 2012

August 29th, 2012

As we live through Ghost Month, we keep wondering why there are so many malevolent spirits in these parts. Am more than happy to honor my ancestors, and from all that I know of our heritage, we were a pretty decent bunch and should have nothing to fear from them. But am kind of pissed that we have to watch out for and make offerings to all these other peoples angry dead kin-folk. How 'bout you treat your family better in the here and now so I can keep my money and cross the street safely? Feels like these ghosts are a metaphor for big government...better give me more money or the roads won't be safe. To my kids...will make you a deal. I promise that I will be nice to you in the afterlife as long as you let me nap uninterupted. Betty and I were driving around town yesterday and had an existential conversation about what is considered right and wrong in different cultures and how we should be dealing with what we think is wrong in one, but is right in another. Of course the driving styles of the locals is what started the conversation but it went to the very core of our beliefs. Have detailed previously that the local custom is for drivers to do anything possible to get that extra car length in front of you or to veer wildly across lanes to cut off the pack and block traffic so they can get to their spot. And no one seems to get pissed off when this happens either, although that could be due to the lack of window tinting laws. There is no way to see into another car as the windows are nearly black-out, nor can they see you giving them the finger as yours are also all black. The window tinting does give the complete freedom to pick your nose liberally however. It's not just on the road where you see this behaviour...was pushing my cart at the market the other day and as you can imagine, the ailses are narrow. So I come head to head with a family and it's obvious that one of the kids is disabled. Of course, I back up and give them a wide berth so they can pass through. Then this old woman turns the corner, obviously sees the situation, but rather than allow me to get through the path, not only speeds up to block me, but veers around the family bumping into their cart, and then stops right in front of them to look at the deals on Cup-O-Noodles. Am going on a wild generalization and this certainly does not apply to all elderly Chinese ladies, but you see these pushy old hens a lot. And they are so freakin' angry looking too...you just know that they are a few years away from hassling me in the afterlife. The common rationalization for this in the most basic is that the culture has struggled for centuries and if you don't push for something, you go hungry. Like Sgt Jablonski on Hill St. Blues would say, "Let's do it to them before the do it to us." I haven't spent much time in China proper, but everyone reports that this is far more prevalent there than it is in Taiwan. In the empirical part of my brain, I completely understand that way of thinking, how it is part of their upbinging and that it is not "bad", just different. I say to Betty that my upbringing taught me to be chivalrous in social situations. After she stopped laughing, I explained what I meant was that I would always hold a door open, cede the right of way, say please and thank you, etc., but if feels like a lot of those things that are hard coded in my mind as common courtesies are considered signs of weakness in other cultures. You hear on the talking head shows when they discuss the trouble in the Middle East, that those countries consider the West weak when they want to negotiate and that they only respect signs of strength. That is kind of how I feel at times when I'm tooling around town...the look on that old bats face at the market when she crammed her cart in front of me was that I was a total pussy. So the question is...do we adopt the local customs and cut in front whenever possible, or do we hold the door? Betty says that culture changes slowly and that every small chivilrous act is another step in helping to change it for the better. I wondered if the opposite is true and that getting ahead due to the weakness of others reinforces that me first mindset. Have been pretty steadfast in being polite for the most part, but really wanted to body check the old gal into the pile of durian when I saw her later on aisle 7. Have to cut it short as I have a busy day today...job # 1 today is to figure out the functions on the toilet. Wish me luck as the manual is not in English, so it's gonna be trail and error.